blithelybonny wrote "The Best Laid Plans" for the dgficexchange 2/2
Title: The Best Laid Plans 2/2
Rating: NC-17
Possible Spoilers/Warnings: Post-HBP. Smut.
Summary: Ginny wants out of the sanctuary that has been forced upon her, and by using a bit of cunning and an unsuspecting Draco Malfoy, she intends to get herself out. But things change and so do people. Will she flourish or will she fail, and why does sex have to complicate everything?
Note: Many, many thanks to my three betas: seegrim, fallenwitch, and bela.
( The Best Laid Plans 1/2 )
The Best Laid Plans 2/2
--- --- --- ---
"Mum, I bloody well SAW them together!"
A frazzled Molly Weasley just continued pairing socks together and folding tee-shirts. "Ronald, now is not the time for your nonsense," she said, almost distractedly.
For her part, Ginny just sat there, the very picture of innocence, watching her brother rant and rave. He was, of course, completely right -- he'd been walking down the hallway earlier in the day and stumbled upon a strategically placed make-out session between herself and Malfoy. Ron hadn't stormed up to her to start yelling like he had when he'd found her with Dean Thomas in a similar predicament. Ron hadn't even hexed him. Her brother had simply passed out into an ungraceful heap on the floor.
For a moment, she almost felt sorry for him, but then Malfoy had pulled back from suckling on her neck to look at the Ron-heap. "We've broken your imbecilic brother," he said, dryly.
Narrowing her eyes at her ersatz boyfriend, Ginny spat, "He isn't an imbecile. He just cares about me, and he likely doesn't appreciate seeing me get pawed." Startled with how mean she sounded, she then shook her head at herself. "I mean…he'll be fine," she added, as casually as she could muster.
"Right," he replied. He then leaned in to give her a soft kiss before heading off down the hallway again. "I have some things to do. I'll see you later, if I haven't been castrated or something."
Thankfully, Malfoy hadn't been castrated because the moment Ron had come to, he'd dragged Ginny by the hand into the sitting room, where their mother was folding the laundry, and proceeded to rant and rave for a solid fifteen minutes about what he'd seen.
"She can't stay here any more when we all have to be gone. I'm not playing around anymore, she has to start coming with us!" Ron shouted.
Her heart jumped into her throat. This was it, the moment of truth. Careful not to look too hopeful, Ginny kept her eyes down on the floor, playing demure. "Mum, I think Ron is overreacting," she said, waving a hand casually.
Molly looked between her two youngest children for a moment and then turned to Ron, as Ginny held her breath. "She's staying here, Ronald Weasley. We've been through this time and time again, and I don't see why you keep pushing this issue. Ginny has shown all this maturity - she's let it go! Now why can't you?"
Ginny's mouth dropped open, as her heart fell from her throat down into the pit of her stomach. Had she just heard right? Her mother thought she'd just let the issue go! She couldn't even hear what her mum and Ron were now arguing about because of the blood pounding in her ears. She just couldn't believe it, it didn't make any sense whatsoever. All that work of befriending the enemy, all the sacrifice of keeping her fiery personality in check, all that time and effort she'd spent, and her mother didn't even seem to care that Draco Malfoy had just been caught with his fucking tongue down her daughter's throat!
There was a strange ringing in her ears, a hollow feeling in her stomach, and the desperate urge to start screaming uncontrollably. It was just unfair. "May I be excused now, please?" she asked, hollowly. Molly and Ron barely even acknowledged her, so she just got up and left the room.
"Fuck," she swore, as she made her way up the stairs to the attic. She figured that was where Malfoy was, and she could definitely use some comfort at the moment, unable to think of anyone else she could spend any time with that she wouldn't want to punch in the face or something equally as violent.
She paused for a moment outside the doorway to his bedroom, feeling that same strange feeling in her stomach that she couldn't exactly place. The door was shut, so she knocked, and despite not getting any answer, Ginny plowed into the room anyway. "Hey, I need to talk to - oh sweet Merlin, what are you doing?" Her hand came up to cover her mouth as she blushed a brilliant crimson red.
"I'm changing my clothes, little girl, so maybe you want to turn around until I'm finished," he answered, disdainfully. "Unless you want to give me a hand here."
"No, I'm all right," she replied, completely embarrassed.
"So," he continued, as he pulled himself into a pair of shorts, "what did you want?"
Trying her best to regain her focus in the face of seeing him quite thoroughly unclothed, she walked forward into the room and took a seat on the edge of his bed. "This is going to sound ridiculous," she said, "but I feel like something just fell apart, and I wanted to…see you." Suddenly, Ginny realized both how pathetic she sounded and how incredibly dangerous it was that she had said something to him of all people.
He sat down next to her then, after pulling on a gray tee-shirt, and, in a gesture that surprised Ginny with its tenderness, pulled her back against his chest, wrapping his arms around her. "What did you do?"
Of course he would assume that it was something she did. Even if it was, he didn't have to be such a jerk and say anything. Even if the relationship was a sham, he was supposed to at least be supportive of her, damn it! "I didn't do anything, thank you very much," she replied, even as she settled back into his arms. He was awfully comfortable, but he probably knew that already. "Forget it, it doesn't matter," she added, a bit bitterly.
He squeezed her close to him and rested his chin on her shoulder. "All right," he responded.
She waited almost a minute before turning her head back to him and giving him a glare. "That's it. You're really going to drop it?"
"You said to forget it, and now you're bringing it up again?" he replied, looking down at her slightly bewildered.
"Yes! You're supposed to comfort me, you stupid arse," she said angrily. "You're supposed to keep it going so I can yell and rant and whatnot, and you'll listen carefully and then offer up some stupid advice that I'm not going to take anyway, but it'll still be nice to hear that you, I don't know, care or something. God, do you have ANY idea what being in a relationship means?" And as soon as the words had left her mouth, Ginny felt that weird feeling in her stomach intensify to the point that she grimaced and actually had to put a hand on her belly.
Her heart was pounding rapidly in her chest, as Ginny felt him disengage from her. He stood up and knelt in front of her. "No, Ginny, I do not have any idea of what being in a relationship means," he said evenly.
Ginny felt compelled to apologize, but why, she wasn't quite sure. "Draco, I'm sorry," she said, after a moment of just looking at him, "I don't know what came over me just now." It felt like the understatement of the year. Reaching out, she cupped his face in her hands, glad when he didn't flinch away from her. "I didn't mean to yell, really, I'm sorry."
His eyes raked over her face then, as if he was searching for something, and Ginny felt strangely exposed. "It's all right," he then said, in a low voice that made all the little hairs on the back of her neck stand on end. "And you know, I think I know something that might cheer you up."
"Oh?" she said, almost breathlessly.
As he climbed back onto the bed, she slid backwards, allowing him better access, until he was suddenly straddling her, pinning her shoulders to the bed and leaning over her. "Yes, I think I have just the thing," he replied. With an almost feral look in his eyes, he bent his head and kissed her.
His kisses, Ginny had come to realize, were quite possibly the most addicting things she had ever experienced. While Michael Corner's had had their inexperienced sort of charm, and Dean Thomas had introduced her to the delights the French had blessed the world with, and even Harry's had the power to make her weak in the knees, none of them had anything on Draco Malfoy. In a way, she almost wanted to thank Pansy Parkinson, even though she despised the horrid little cow and it would be entirely inappropriate, because he must have learned to kiss this way on her.
He had a way of making her feel dizzy whenever they came up for air, and it was only partly thanks to how long they had gone without taking a breath. Kissing him was heady and fulfilling in ways that made her insides shiver and tingle with the promise of what more was to come. Although they hadn't gone much further than serious making out and over-the-clothes petting, it was enough to get Ginny thinking about other, more serious pleasure.
Breaking away for a moment and panting, Ginny managed to choke out, "Boys…always thinking sex is the answer to everything!"
"Doesn't the making up have to come after the fighting?" he murmured, as he dragged his lips lightly down her neck.
She giggled in spite of herself, as she had to admit that that usually was how things worked, if every other couple in the history of the world was the precedent. "I guess you're right about that," she replied, tangling her fingers in his longish blond hair. "So where were we?"
"Right here," he responded, but to her surprise, he didn't lean in to kiss her again. Instead, he started to move backwards off of her, kissing her a few times down the chest before he licked a trail from her belly button to the waistband of her shorts. "I think," he added, as he poised his hands on the elastic fabric, "being your birthday and all, you should get a proper present." Draco quirked an eyebrow and smirked knowingly at her.
Ginny was only slightly embarrassed about having forgotten her own birthday. It likely had something to do with all the excitement of keeping her plan going and having everything seemingly come crashing down on her that morning, but still, she couldn't believe that she would actually forget that she had just come of age in the wizarding world. What's more, it appeared that everyone else had fucking forgotten as well. Her mouth dropped open as she made to start angrily ranting about how nothing at all had changed, but he silenced by dipping his hands below the waistband and easing the shorts down off her hips.
"I didn't forget," he said, "and I'm going to go ahead and make sure that you don't forget either."
Ginny was more than a little shocked with herself as she lifted up her hips so that he could remove her shorts. Her eyes widened considerably, even as she reached out to grip his tee-shirt by the chest and pulled him in so that his face was poised above hers again. "Draco, I--" she began, but whatever she was trying to say stuck in her throat and was immediately forgotten when he reached down and lightly traced his fingers along her slit, through the soft cotton of her knickers.
"Just tell me if you want me to stop," he whispered, courteously, yet confidently, as if he knew there was no way she was going to stop him. He then moved back away from her again and settled himself back on the bed so that he had perfect access to her most intimate female parts.
He began slowly, lightly tracing his fingers over her through her knickers before he obviously decided that they were just in the way. Ginny lifted her hips up so that he could ease the knickers all the way off, but once he had tossed them away behind himself, she felt even more exposed than she had before, and she reached up to cover her eyes with her hands.
"Don't be embarrassed," he said. "You're beautiful, Ginny."
Wondering just where her confidence had run off to, Ginny forced herself to drop her hands and look at him. She didn't get much of a chance to relax, though, because as soon as she was looking at him, he smirked at her and teased one finger inside of her. Immediately, she grasped at the sheets on either side of her, hands fisting. She hadn't even noticed how aroused she was by him until just then, but the wetness she felt between her thighs was now a pretty good indicator.
"Not too fast, little girl," he teased, as she instinctively inched herself forward into his hand. "I want to make this last."
Ginny bit down on her lower lip, closing her eyes, as she felt him begin to slowly thrust his finger in and out, in a pantomime of what she knew he was eager to do with a larger and thicker piece of his anatomy. After a few moments, he slid a second finger inside her, stretching her a bit, and she softly cried out.
"Shhh…" he admonished, leaning over her a bit to kiss her stomach again, "we wouldn't want anyone to come running up here and spoiling it, now would we?"
In the very back of her mind, Ginny felt like that was exactly what she wanted because maybe kissing in front of Ron hadn't been enough, but then Draco brushed his thumb over her clitoris and all thoughts flew out of her mind completely. Her hips bucked upward, as he carefully circled the little nub, teasing her, while continuing to thrust his two fingers in and out.
Just as she was beginning to feel something stirring deep within her, a feeling that she had only ever elicited from herself (she had once gone down on Harry, but he hadn't exactly gotten the chance to reciprocate before they'd broken up) in the privacy of her bedroom, Draco removed his fingers. She narrowed her eyes at him, feeling flushed and riled up, completely in disbelief that he would just start something like that and not finish it! "What the hell is the matter with you?" she asked, in a low voice.
Draco only continued to smirk at her, and then, in what was quite possibly the most erotic sight she had ever witnessed in her young life, he sucked his two fingers into his mouth, tasting her juices. "I want more." He dipped his head then, before she could respond, and buried his face in her coarse, dark-red curls.
"OH!" she cried out instantly, as his amazingly talented tongue slid up and down her slit, before delving inside of her to repeat the motions he had made with his fingers a moment earlier. "Oh, fuck, Draco, yes!"
She tried to bend her knees so that Draco could crawl up between her thighs to get better access to her, but instead, he carelessly tossed her knees over his shoulders and pushed up closer to her. "You taste so good," he murmured into her mound so that she almost couldn't hear him, the vibrations only adding to the sensations he was giving her. He then reached up with his hand to pinch her left nipple, teasing and toying with it until it stiffened.
Mimicking him, Ginny used her own hand to play with her right breast, squeezing it as her eyes closed and she mouthed cries of wordless pleasure. She could barely hear over the ringing in her ears, and her heart was pounding so fast that she almost felt like it was going to beat its way out of her chest. This was brilliant! It was beyond brilliant! As her hips bucked upward in automatic response to him, she turned her head to the side, breathing heavily. "I'm really close," she almost whispered into the pillow.
He seemed to take it as a personal challenge. Draco ceased his caressing of her inner walls and moved upward to the main attraction. He first gave her a wicked look with just his eyes and then dipped his head to dart his tongue, like a serpent's, against her clitoris.
Ginny cried out sharply and almost crushed his head as her thighs tried to squeeze together. "Oh, yes, yes, yes, more!" She practically arched right up off the bed, as he continued to assault her into sheer ecstasy, swirling agonizingly languid circles around her clit. "Damn it, Draco, please!"
Thankfully, he obliged her. Hands gripping her inner thighs almost painfully hard, he sucked hard on her nub, and with a soft squeal, Ginny came toppling over the edge. Her hips bucked upward in sharp jerks and her breath came short and hot, as she rode out her orgasm. Slowly, slowly, she came down from her high, taking shaky breaths in and out. She was afraid to look anywhere except straight up at the ceiling, for fear that she would say something incredibly stupid and untrue like 'I love you' because it seemed like the only appropriate response to getting something so incredibly amazing.
Draco crawled up alongside her then and began pressing soft kisses to her cheek and neck. "Happy birthday," he muttered, before then kissing her full on the lips. Ginny could taste the subtle tang of her own juices, and the tiny shiver that ran through her did not escape Draco's notice. He chuffed a short laugh at her, before kissing her again and slipping his tongue down her throat.
With a small whimper of protest, Ginny pushed him back so that she could look at him. "Wait, wait…reciprocation?"
He smirked at her. "Not today. Let's pretend I'm totally unselfish for just this once and make it all about you…but definitely another day."
They then settled back into their normal pattern of rubbing and touching, and Ginny tried to pretend that she wasn't naked from the waist down, although it felt a lot better than when they used to do it in clothes. She strangely found herself wishing that he would take his own shorts off, purely as an experiment of course. As soon as the thought popped into her head, she decided to give it a try, sod what he said about it being all about her. It didn't seem fair, and after all, Ginny was all about fairness these days.
She slid her hand down in between the two of them and brushed her hand ever so lightly against his almost painfully obvious erection. He hissed as she experimentally stroked him through his shorts. She knew how to do this particular sex act pretty well, but for some reason, she felt more than a little shy doing it to Draco.
"Wait!" he cried out, pushing her away. His eyes were shut tight, as if he was afraid to look at her. "We should stop."
Ginny felt oddly paranoid. Did I do something wrong? she thought to herself, as she pushed herself up into a sitting position, her cheeks flushing maddeningly. "Why?" she asked.
He still wouldn't look at her. "Because if we don't stop now, I don't think I'll be able to stop at all," he confessed.
Biting down on her lower lip, as if steeling her resolve, Ginny turned to him and lightly ran her hand down his cheek. "Maybe I don't want you to stop at all."
Draco's eyes shot open. "What?"
She gave him the same snotty smirk that he was so fond of giving her. "Maybe…I don't want you to stop at all," she repeated, in a sultry whisper. Why not, she thought. Why shouldn't they take it a little further? Physically, she felt more than ready, and while she was still having a hard time separating out her emotions to see what she was really feeling, she figured that if she did have sex with him, it would be a nice way of getting herself all properly focused and sorted out again.
"Are you sure?" Draco asked quickly, as if he were scarcely daring to hope that she was serious. It almost made Ginny laugh a little, but now was not the time, so she held it in and nodded her affirmation instead.
He looked to be at war with himself from the way his expression changed rapidly from excitement to seriousness to bewilderment to nervous, and it struck Ginny as very odd. From her experience, any time even the barest hint of sexuality was involved, boys were more than ready to get it started, no questions asked, but Draco seemed genuinely concerned about something, though he had yet to speak again. "Please?" she encouraged, feeling slightly ridiculous.
She was rewarded, however, with a smile, and though she could swear she felt something clench inside of her upon seeing it, she ignored it and smiled back at him. "All right," he said, "if you're sure."
"I'm sure," she replied, straight away. Something occurred to her then, and she frowned lightly. "Oh shit…except…well, Draco, I'm not on the Potion, and as much as I like you, I'm not ready for any little mini-Ginnys just yet."
The look of disappointment on his face, then, very nearly made her break down in giggles, but it vanished so quickly that she didn't have the time. "Someone in this house has got to have condoms," he said, matter-of-factly, and with that, he was up out of the bed and out the door.
He was halfway down the stairs by the time Ginny brought herself out of her shock at being left, threw herself back into her shorts, and ran out the door. "Will you bloody wait for me?" she cried at him. "You can't very well do it without me, you know."
Undeterred, he kept walking, though Ginny did notice that he slowed down just a tad. "You check your brother's room, the one with the Veela wife, and I'll rummage through the Huffleduffers things. I've seen those disgusting looks that Mudblood Finch-Fletchley has been giving Brown…I'm sure he's all prepared for when she decides to finally spread her--"
"I'm going to stop you right there, before I decide I don't want to do this anymore because of your stupid mouth," Ginny threatened, as she finally caught up with him.
"Sorry, sorry," he said, almost distractedly. "All right, we'll have to be a bit stealthy about this because there are people around, and I don't want to get caught."
"Right, right," Ginny said, waving a hand. As they reached the second floor landing, the pair walked down to the left, as it happened that Bill and Fleur were rooming next door to the Hufflepuff boys. They both snuck into their assigned rooms, after making sure that they were empty (for Draco's sake, and certainly not for Ginny's, she thought) and Ginny set to looking through drawers for condoms.
She only found it mildly disconcerting that she was filching prophylactics from her own brother, but found it more disturbing when she found a completely full, though open, box in the bottom of a drawer. The idea of baby Fleurs wandering about did absolutely nothing for her appetite. But that was neither here nor there, as she had gotten what she had come for, and was now going to get just a little more.
Ginny then emerged from the room that Bill and Fleur shared, box of condoms in hand, and instantly bumped right into Draco, who was coming out of the Hufflepuff boys' room with his own open box of condoms. As they slammed into each other, the boxes flew out of their hands. Draco instinctively reached out to steady Ginny, but they both went toppling down onto the ground as wrapped rubbers rained down around them.
They looked at each other for a stunned moment, and then Ginny started to shake with laughter. Seconds later, Draco joined in, which only made Ginny laugh harder, as she couldn't remember ever having heard him laugh honestly as opposed to laughing in derision at something stupid someone had done.
"Come on, let's clean this up before someone sees," he finally said, after a bit, shaking his head as he began to pick up the rubbers and put them back into the boxes.
She hadn't forgotten that someone could very well come strolling down the hallway right now and see the two of them blatantly getting prepared to shag, but when he mentioned it, despite the twinge in her stomach that she was getting worse and worse at ignoring, she couldn't help but start fervently hoping that someone, preferably Ron but really anyone older, would come strolling by.
And seconds later, it seemed that Ginny was going to get her wish. "I hear footsteps!" she exclaimed, as she slowly gathered the condoms into a little pile.
"Shit!" he swore, but before Ginny could react either way and before whoever was there could round the corner, he grabbed her by the wrist, tugged her upward, and dragged her into the empty room he'd come out of before. Shutting the door, he pressed his back up against it, breathing rapidly from sudden adrenaline. "That was close!" he added, as he turned to her and smiled.
Ginny wanted to be upset about having her plan foiled for the second time in a single day, but seeing him smile made all thoughts of self-pity and plotting fly right out of her head. "You have such a nice smile," she said, before she could stop herself.
Smoothing a hand over his hair and looking down a bit, as if he actually was embarrassed by her compliment, Draco still continued smiling. "Thank you, I guess."
Rewarding him with a smile of her own, Ginny walked over. "You're welcome. I wish you'd smile more often. Maybe it'd make you more tolerable," she teased playfully.
He rolled his eyes, but gathered her into his arms all the same. "I think you tolerate me just fine, little girl."
"That actually doesn't make any sen-" Draco cut Ginny off with a soft, lingering kiss. After a moment, she broke away. "That reminds me," she murmured softly. "Where were we?"
"I think you know exactly where we were," he said, in a low voice that made Ginny almost weak at the knees. She reminded herself to ask him how the hell he did that so well, but then he lifted her up, wrapping her legs around his waist, and carried her over to Justin or Ernie's bed.
"Draco, not here!" she squealed, as he set her down.
He smirked down at her. "Why not? It's a perfectly suitable bed…and I'm sure MacMillan isn't getting any good use out of it. I'll double-lock the door and put an Imperturbable Charm on the door. We're safe."
Ginny wanted to argue with him, but then he leaned down and kissed her, massaging his tongue against hers, tasting her, and she couldn't exactly find any words to say. This bed was likely just as good as any other bed, really. She pushed him away then and lifted her tee-shirt up over her head, in answer to his proposition.
He rewarded her with a smile, but when she reached behind to unclasp her bra, the smile faded as his jaw dropped. It was absolutely fantastic to watch because she'd never seen him react so honestly before. "You're beautiful," he said, in a hushed voice.
Even though she knew she had a decent figure, she still blushed. "Thank you."
Draco removed his own shirt then and tossed it away, before quickly skimming his hand up her stomach to squeeze and fondle her left breast. Ginny shivered with delight, as he bent his head to taste her right breast. His clever little tongue circled around her nipple, teasing it to a hard point, before he sucked on the hardened tip.
He broke away much too quickly for her, but it was clear that he was more than ready for the main attraction, and Ginny was too, if the earlier acts were any indicator of his abilities. Obligingly, she lifted her hips as he tugged her shorts and knickers down for the second time in as many hours, casually throwing them onto the pile with his tee-shirt. Then, he got off of her to take his own shorts off, his cock already half-hard. Ginny watched, with what bordered on fascination, as he stroked himself into readiness and then opened up one of the condoms he'd managed to hang onto and rolled it carefully down onto his member.
"You're absolutely sure about this?" he asked again, seriously, as he crawled atop her again, poising himself to push inside her.
"Yes," she replied, barely letting him finish. "I want to, I want you, Draco, I need you." Just then, Ginny felt something clench inside of her. She didn't know why, but suddenly she felt strange. Things were going too fast, or something wasn't right, but she felt very nervous all of a sudden.
It must have shown on her face because Draco sat back again, looking down at her warily. "What is it?"
Ginny opened her mouth and closed it three times before she was finally able to recognize what she wanted to say in her mind. Looking seriously at him, she said, "I'm a virgin."
Draco looked down at her, barely moving, not even blinking for almost a minute before he answered. "You are?"
She nodded. "I…I just thought I should tell you." She felt a bit better inside, but there were still a few things that were bothering her -- some she recognized and some she did not.
"Yes." He looked away and back at her again. "Yes, I'm glad you told me that."
"Are you a virgin?" she blurted out then, not that it was any of her business really, and certainly not that she cared. "And be honest!"
"Would I lie?" he drawled, quirking an eyebrow at her.
Ginny glared at him. "Yes," she said, incredulously, "you would. In a heartbeat and without regret."
He seemed to consider this, and after a moment, he answered her. "No. I'm not."
For the first time in months, a feeling surged through Ginny that she had absolutely no problem recognizing. Her cheeks flushed with anger as she imagined the stupid little twat that Draco had slept with. She just knew that she had absolutely no reason to be jealous, that she was being completely ridiculous, that they weren't really dating as far as she was concerned, that she didn't even like him all that much, but she felt incredibly envious all the same. "Oh," she finally responded, as evenly as she could. "Who was it?" As soon as the question was out of her mouth, she instantly wanted to take it back. She didn't want to know who the stupid little twat was really, the stupid nameless bitch, who cared!
Draco sighed and sat back against the wall. "Does it matter?"
"I guess not," Ginny muttered, both relieved and annoyed that he hadn't named names. She shook her head then, attempting to get her clarity back, but she still felt rather rotten inside. Looking over at him, she tried to force a smile, but that didn't work either. "I'm sorry," she continued, though she found that she really didn't mean it, "I guess I ruined things. I didn't mean to."
He shrugged at her. "It's all right. I don't think you were really all that ready in the first place."
She opened her mouth to protest, but deep down, she knew he was right. "Yeah," she said, turning her head so she didn't have to see the disappointment in his eyes. It troubled her, how much she suddenly cared, so she quickly sat up and reached for her clothing. "I'm sorry," she repeated again.
"It's all right, Ginny, really." As if to prove his point, he reached out and pulled her backwards toward him, resting her flush against his naked torso. "When you're really ready, you'll know. Believe me…it's better if you wait. I should have," he said, and Ginny was struck by how honest he sounded. But then he continued, saying something that made Ginny's stomach turn over on itself so quickly, she felt like she was going to be sick right then and there. "I love you, you know."
Wresting herself from his grip, Ginny grabbed her tee-shirt and bra, threw the tee-shirt on carelessly, and dashed to the door. "No, you don't," she cried, as she flung the door open and ran out. She didn't even bother to shut it behind her, instead running off down the hallway as fast as her legs could carry her.
She felt like things were falling spectacularly to pieces, all of a sudden, but she didn't know why, and it pained her. How could things change so rapidly, in so short a period of time? She knew she had a lot to think about, but the biggest question that she had in her mind at the moment was why the fucking hell did he have to say that he loved her…and why had it hurt so much to hear it?
--- --- --- ---
Avoiding Draco Malfoy proved to be as difficult as befriending him had been easy. It seemed to Ginny that now that she wanted to be away from him, everyone else in the house wanted to see them together at all times. Things were getting far more dangerous out there, and to compensate, the Order was spending more and more time in strategic planning at the Headquarters, which meant they were spending more and more time together as a group.
She would see Draco at breakfasts and dinners and would try to avoid his eyes only to bump into him. She would attempt to stay away from the rooms he normally spent his time in, only to end up trapped with him somewhere she had never expected. She had even tried staying locked in her bedroom for hours on end, only to have him come knocking on the door because someone had sent him to get her. It was like a fucking nightmare because every time she thought she was finally starting to feel better about the situation, she'd see him or catch his scent from down the hall or find some little reminder of his presence in the house and she'd be right back to square one, feeling miserable and confused.
Ginny couldn't tell what hurt more: not understanding why she was feeling so badly or having the suspicion that he was hurting just as badly and really caring about it. She was just so exhausted by feeling perplexed; she wasn't used to not having things perfectly clear in her head. She was always the one who had the clearest head in the family, always, but in the face of whatever had happened between herself and Draco, she just couldn't figure things out.
But it wasn't until the evening of September first, the night she should have been attending her very last Opening Banquet at Hogwarts, had it still been open, that Ginny was finally able to sort herself out.
It had been a beautiful day, and Ginny hadn't seen hide nor hair of Draco since breakfast, a fact she was both comforted and disturbed by, but she had forgotten about it around noon when the entire house had vacated the premises in order to launch a strategic preemptive strike on Voldemort's forces. She had seen them off, after being told that they hoped to return home before midnight, but that they weren't making any promises. She decided that she was going to wait for them to return, as just about anything was better than laying alone with her horrible thoughts in her bedroom, trying to fall asleep.
Midnight came and went, as did one o'clock and two and three, and although she knew that they had said it might take longer than they had anticipated, Ginny was starting to grow very apprehensive. Something just did not feel right. She had a weird and desperate urge to seek Draco out as the hall clock rang half of four o'clock in the morning, to see if he had heard anything. Rolling it over and over in her head, she finally decided that she was going to do just that, fuck the awkwardness between them.
Just as she got to her feet, though, the front door swung wide open, slamming heavily against the wall, as a stream of Order members flew into the room, led by Aurors Shacklebolt and Savage who looked to be carrying a body. Ginny fell back against the wall, surprised. She noted, with fear, that the people returning didn’t seem to match the number of people that had left earlier. Once they had all made it in, she shut the door behind them. No one had stopped to do it, which made Ginny realize that something very serious was happening. She then dashed off after them, following the group into the makeshift hospital in the cellar.
The two tall Aurors laid the body they were carrying carefully down on the table and immediately, Healer Jones and her Apprentice Katie Bell moved forward to begin working on the person. Ginny couldn't see who it was for the people standing in front of her, and though she was very curious, she didn't dare try to push her way forward.
"All right, everyone please leave the room so that we can work!" Katie said, as she moved around the table to get to the other side. No one seemed to want to move, until the person lying on the table let out a horrible scream of pain, as Healer Jones had just Revived him. Upon hearing that, most of the people started to leave, save for one girl who wouldn't budge. "Susan, please, you need to leave us."
Ginny now realized who was on the table, since it was no secret to anyone in the house who Susan Bones' heart belonged to, and she turned then to leave the room. She didn't want to see what was going to happen. However, she did sit down in the hallway outside the door, feeling nauseous, worried, and almost dizzy with fatigue and fear. Others milled about, and Harry appeared to pace, with a noticeable limp that Ginny found herself terribly uncomfortable with, back and forth in front of the door, no doubt terrified that he'd lose one of his best strategists.
Ron came and sat down next to Ginny. She turned to him, but he kept his eyes straight ahead. "There were too many of them," he said, voice hollow. "We tried, but there were just too many…we don't even know where they all came from. It's like there are more and more every time. We kill them and we kill them, but they keep coming…like fucking cockroaches or something." Ginny figured it was best to keep her mouth shut and just let him talk, as the words seemed to just be spilling out of his mouth without his control. He never shared information with her, especially not since he'd caught her with Draco. "And Susan…she was going to get…he jumped in front of it…and now -"
He was interrupted by an agonizing wail that could be heard even through the heavy oak door. Ginny and the others turned to look there, and Ginny felt like her heart had jumped into her throat. Seconds later, the door burst open and Susan came careening out. Harry caught her round the waist, and she spun into his arms, sobbing. "No, no, no, no!" she wailed over and over again.
Like watching a broom wreck, Ginny wanted to look away, but she just couldn't tear her eyes away from seeing it. Harry was trying his best to be comforting, rubbing Susan's back and shushing her quietly, but the brunette girl was inconsolable. Her knees buckled, and were she not in Harry's strong grip, she would have fallen to the floor. "Susan, I'm sorry," Ginny heard Harry say.
"It's not fair! It's not fair. I love him! I LOVE HIM!" she shouted then.
Ginny suddenly felt ill. Her breathing became labored, and she felt a churning in her stomach that could only mean one thing. She shoved herself out of her sitting position and started off down the hall, unmindful of the scene behind her anymore.
It was as if seeing the amazingly real grief of that poor girl showed Ginny exactly how wrongly she'd been acting. In that one moment, the war was no longer some thing Out There that Ginny needed to go and be a part of; it was here and real. It wasn't some game. And the feeling in her stomach that just seemed to get more and more intense as the days went on, she finally recognized as pure and simple guilt - guilt for thinking that she could manipulate people around her so maliciously, guilt for being selfish in a time of such great need for selflessness, and most of all, guilt for using Draco so callously. She dashed down the hall, and, not even making it to the lavatory around the corner, fell to her knees to wretch onto the floor.
Somehow, when she felt someone lift her hair away from her face and soothingly rub her back as she hacked and coughed, she knew it was Draco, and she felt comforted in spite of her guilt. He said nothing, but Ginny knew it would be him, and she now knew that she absolutely had to come clean.
When she had emptied her stomach of its contents, she wiped her hand roughly across her mouth and took a deep, shaky breath to steady herself. "Draco," she whispered, hoarsely, as she finally turned around to look at him, "I need to talk to you."
His expression was blank as he answered her. "Maybe you should go brush your teeth first," he said, though his tone gave no indication as to his mood either.
Ginny watched as he muttered an Evanesco to clean up the mess she'd made, and it made her grimace. She then shook her head. "No, I need to talk to you right now before I lose my nerve."
Draco looked at her for a long moment before he finally answered. "All right," he said.
She closed her eyes, steeling her resolve for a long moment before she finally just decided to come out with it. "I'm in love with you." Instantly, she clapped a hand over her mouth, eyes wide. "That was so not what I wanted to say," she added, muffled through her hands, as she flushed a deep crimson.
"Then what did you want to say?" he asked, still even and guarded-sounding.
Ginny was shocked that he didn't give her some cutting remark or knock her down a few pegs because of it, and it obviously showed clearly on her face. "I-I…"
"Just, out with it!" he suddenly shouted. "I'm done with your stupid games, Ginny, just say it."
"I've been using you!"
There it was. It was out there in the open, finally, finally, and the relief that surged through Ginny's entire body made her positive that she had done the right thing in confessing. Certainly, she still felt horrid about what she'd done to him, and the fact that she'd just confessed to being in love with him when it couldn't possibly be true was still buzzing around in her brain, but the guilt in her stomach was gone. She almost felt like she could smile - almost.
"Draco, I…I'm sorry," she continued, feeling like she needed to just get everything out so he would know just exactly what she'd done to him. "I acted like a child, just like a silly, foolish, ridiculous little child. I wanted them to notice how much they were ignoring me, but instead of doing the adult thing and just telling them about it, I messed around, lied, and manipulated everything, and…" she sighed gently, "I was wrong. I was just wrong, Draco, and I'm sorry."
Draco just looked at her, and Ginny could swear that she started to sweat. All she wanted was for him to say something, anything at all. She didn't want to hope for forgiveness. She didn't feel she deserved it, but she at least wanted to hear something.
"Say something, please," she said, quietly.
After another endless moment, he spoke. "I knew," he said simply, fixing her with a hard stare.
Ginny's mouth dropped open. "What?"
Infuriatingly enough, Draco smirked at her. "I knew almost from the beginning. You know, I'm really not as dumb as you seem to think I am."
"But if you knew," she replied quickly, feeling even more rotten than before, "why did you play along? Why?"
Draco reached out to take her hand into his, and though she didn't really want to, didn't feel she deserved to be touched by him, she let him take it anyway. "Honestly, at first, it was amusing. You were living up to the image I'd created of you in my mind all those years - calculating, manipulative, childish…altogether very Slytherin…" He trailed off for a moment, to chuckle lightly, but Ginny didn't find it very funny. Although she had no business feeling it, considering that she'd done the exact same thing, she felt used, and it felt as horrible as she imagined. "But," he then continued, "after a while…things changed."
"Changed?" she echoed.
"Yes," he replied. "Somewhere in there, somewhere in your whole little stupid web of deceit, it changed. It stopped being a game and started being real. My feelings for you weren't just amusement and pity anymore. I actually started to like you, and I know you felt it too. You wouldn't be confessing right now if you didn't." Leaning in so that he was very close to her face, he whispered against her lips. "You started really liking me too."
"No!" she said, but even as the word came out, she knew it wasn't true. If her earlier outburst was any indication of her true feelings, then it absolutely wasn't true.
He nodded. "Yes."
She looked deeply at him, eyes wide and searching his for any sign of malice or dishonesty. She could find not a trace. Slowly, shakily, she took a deep breath in, and then a small, shy smile curved at her lips. "Yes," she whispered.
Draco smiled back at her. "I know."
A relieved giggle escaped her lips. "You don't have to be so arrogant all the time, you know."
"Yes, I do," he replied, rolling his eyes at her.
Ginny squeezed his hand and then brought it up to her lips for a gentle kiss. "So…what happens now?" she asked, with uncharacteristic uncertainty. She'd been through quite a whirlwind of emotions in the last few months, though, so she forgave herself for being less than positive about her feelings.
Draco looked at her, an amused smirk curling onto his lips. "I can think of one thing," he said, jokingly.
"I need to brush my teeth first," she replied, equally teasing. But then her expression changed, as a new thought struck her mind. She looked down at her lap for a moment and then looked back up at him, seriously. "Do you really want to?"
"Ginny, I was just jo -"
"Do you?" she interrupted. "Because I do. I feel like…well, I feel like I might need it, after all of this, all this waiting and madness and everything." She knew how cathartic sex could be, not from experience but from the things she'd heard from other girls, and she figured, if anything, she needed a sort of real, final release. "And Draco, I want it to be with you."
He shook his head and started to back away. "No, Ginny, I don't want to rush into things. Not like last time. I don't want you to feel like you owe me anything."
"I don't!" she insisted, standing up again. "I mean, I owe you a lot for using you the way I did, but I don't plan on repaying you for that with sexual favors. This is…this is for me. Maybe it's selfish, but at least I know it is this time." Ginny looked down at the floor, frowning and wrinkling her nose in distaste, but somehow, she didn't feel guilty saying it or wanting it. She felt right for the first time in a very, very long time. "If you don't want to, then we absolutely don't have to…but if you do, then I'd really like to."
Draco looked at her for a long moment, almost as if he was warring with himself over what he wanted to do. Ginny just looked back at him as honestly as she could, trying to show him that she didn't want to pressure him either way. Finally, he held out his hand to her and smiled softly. "All right, come on."
With a grin of her own, Ginny took his hand, and together they walked upstairs to his bedroom, leaving the scene of grief and pain and hurt behind them. "You know, you're right," she said, as they climbed the stairs.
"I usually am," he replied, with a smirk. "But what are you referring to this time?"
Ginny laughed, rolling her eyes. Funnily, she didn't find herself bothered by his stupid comments. She actually was a little amused. "About how things changed between us. I mean, I felt it too, but I just, I guess I didn't want to believe it, you know? I didn't want to think that I could possibly have any sort of feelings for you."
"I understand that," he said. "It came as a real shock to me when I realized I had feelings for you, but I guess…"
They had reached the door to his bedroom, and Ginny pushed it open and pulled him inside. "You guess, what?"
"I guess I grew up…because I could admit that that's what I feel instead of ignoring it because of your family," Draco said. He then leaned in to press his lips gently against her own, wrapping an arm around her waist and resting the other on the back of her neck.
Ginny whimpered, as her eyes opened. She pushed back and immediately covered her mouth with her hand. "Draco, let me go brush my teeth," she cried, embarrassed.
"I don't care about that," he replied and pulled her forward into a kiss again.
This time, Ginny was helpless to argue with him. Draco held her close, wrapping one arm around her and cupping her cheek with amazing gentleness with the other hand. He parted her lips with his tongue, eliciting a soft mewl out of Ginny that she would have been embarrassed by in any other situation.
Tangling their tongues together, Ginny rubbed up against him, demonstrating her sudden urgency. She was ready, right now, and she wanted him to be the one. "Draco," she whispered against his mouth, "please."
He pressed one, two, three more short kisses to her lips before turning to shut his bedroom door. "All right," he said, as he moved her backwards and helped her down onto the bed. "But if you change your mind or it's going too fast or anything, tell me right away."
Ginny had a ridiculous urge to say "Yes, Dad," but she refrained. She nodded, knowing how serious this was. She then reached up and pulled him down to her, feeling him press up against her as she kissed him deeply again.
His hand began the familiar trek down between their bodies to cup her breast, tweaking her nipple and kneading the soft skin through her shirt. She noticed that he was rubbing his lower body against hers and it was beginning to make her feel those amazing tingles in her lower belly that only he had been able to get out of her before. With a soft sigh, she pushed him back so that she could take off some of her clothing.
As Ginny lifted her shirt up over her head, Draco also took off his tee-shirt. He then attacked her with kisses down her naked torso, kissing all her little freckles almost playfully. Ginny giggled, as he licked the straight line from her belly-button to the waistband of her pants. He then came right back up again and began to suckle at her neck as his fingers traced idle circles on her stomach.
"Draco, please," she begged again, as she arched into his kisses. "Please, I want you."
"All right, impatient little girl," he murmured, as he moved once more down her chest. He paused for just a moment to flick his tongue against her tensed nipples, one after the other. He finally obliged her then, moving back to pull her pants and knickers down. "Ginny, one last time…are you absolutely sure?" he then asked.
With a shaky breath, in and out, Ginny nodded. "Yes, Draco, I'm sure. I think this is the first thing I've been completely sure of in months. Please, just do it. Please."
It seemed to be all he needed to know that she was indeed ready. He got up off the bed, went to his dresser drawer, and took out an unopened condom. He then turned back to her and shimmied out of his shorts and underpants, before walking back over to the bed and crawling back atop her.
Ginny felt a surreal sense of déjà vu, in that she had been here before in this exact position, but this time she didn't feel a sense of danger or wrongness. Instead, she felt safe, secure, and almost whole. She was finally doing the right thing, after months and months of acting like a foolish little child. Carefully, she spread her legs apart and bent her knees so that her feet were resting flat on the bed for him. She was ready to make the leap, and she couldn't believe how glad she was that Draco Malfoy was going to be the person she was going to do it with.
She watched him roll the condom down onto his stiff cock and marveled at the rapt look of concentration that was on his pointed features. He looked so incredibly serious, and it made her smile at him. He then poised himself above her, with the tip of his penis resting just outside her opening.
"It's going to hurt," he explained, "so I'm going to go very slowly."
"Okay," she said, and though she felt a twinge of nerves, she was unafraid and still ready for him to carry on.
Taking a deep breath, he climbed up over her and then slowly, gently, Draco pushed inside of her body. Ginny cried out sharply as he tore through the fragile cords of her virginity and a single tear squeezed out of her eyes. "Shhhh," he calmed her, reaching up a hand and wiping the tears away. "It's okay, are you okay?"
Nodding, she took a few deep breaths before she answered him. "Yes, I'm all right…I'm okay."
Like a true gentleman, Draco waited a few moments for her to acclimate to the sense of being filled before he slowly began to move again. He withdrew from her almost all the way, and instinctively, Ginny clenched around him, wanting to keep him inside of her. He hissed with pain or pleasure, she couldn't tell until he spoke. "You can't do that or I'm never going to last," he said, his eyelids fluttering as he looked up at the ceiling.
"It's okay," she encouraged. "I want you to…go faster."
He seemed to be quite glad to hear her say it, and he then began to push in and out of her with a slightly quickening pace. Draco thrust into her with grunts of pleasure, and Ginny could feel the stirring in her belly again. Arching her back up into him so that he had a better angle, Ginny, in spite of him telling her not to, began to contract her walls as he pulled out.
There was pain, she wouldn't deny that, but it was a strange sort of pleasure-filled pain, and she rather liked it. As Draco's breathing began to come faster and faster, matching the speed of his thrusts, she could tell that he was very close and that, while she probably wouldn't be able to orgasm this time, it didn't really matter just now.
As if sensing it himself, Draco reached down between them, though how he managed to support himself on just one arm Ginny would never know, and began to circle her clit with his thumb. She cried out wordlessly in pleasure, her back arching up again as she turned her head to the side and grabbed at his back, as if to pull him closer to her.
Breathless, he called out. "Ginny, I don't think I - I can't -"
"It's okay," she managed, between moans of sheer bliss, "you can. Come for me, Draco, please!"
Seconds later, he came with several sharp jerks into her before collapsing forward onto her. Still teetering on the verge of her own orgasm, Ginny was only mildly disappointed, but she didn't mention it because she was too wrapped up in thinking that she was finally no longer a virgin, and that she had just been fucked by someone that she well and truly loved.
It hit her with the force of a Stunner from an Auror squadron. She did love him. She loved him more than words could express. She absolutely loved Draco Malfoy, with all his arrogance and pomposity and stupid comments and annoying habits and charm and generosity and everything. She loved him.
"I love you," she then whispered into his hair, pressing a kiss to the back of his skull.
Panting, he looked up at her. "I know," he responded, breathlessly. Then, he rewarded her with his dazzling smile. "And I love you too."
Fin.
ORIGINAL REQUEST:
What would you like to receive:
The tone/mood of the fic: Dark/ morbid humor, coming-of-age, some romance but not just fluff. A reason why they are together beyond "I think he can be a better person." It can be that he is taking advantage of a rule she broke, she desperately needs someone to make herself feel vindicated about disliking herself or she truly is escaping Potter. Just as long as there is a reason for them to be together and that it is believable. I want a story, not just sex.
Rating of the the fic you want: Preferably NC-17 however I am willing to accept lesser ratings as long as there is mention of sexual activities, detail is appreciated but not required if sex scenes are written.
Canon or AU? As much canon as can be used, but veering into AU is acceptable. I.E.- They did meet the first time in Flourish and Blotts (canon), he teased her because he was wildly attracted to her (AU).
Deal Breakers (what don't you want?): Needless spells that do everything. No "refresher" spells that clean you up. I don't even want a pregnancy spell, make them use a potion or even better a condom. No "banishment spells" to make everything look clean unless the stuff goes somewhere. Magic is a tool they have but it is not an end-all, be-all.
Rating: NC-17
Possible Spoilers/Warnings: Post-HBP. Smut.
Summary: Ginny wants out of the sanctuary that has been forced upon her, and by using a bit of cunning and an unsuspecting Draco Malfoy, she intends to get herself out. But things change and so do people. Will she flourish or will she fail, and why does sex have to complicate everything?
Note: Many, many thanks to my three betas: seegrim, fallenwitch, and bela.
( The Best Laid Plans 1/2 )
The Best Laid Plans 2/2
--- --- --- ---
"Mum, I bloody well SAW them together!"
A frazzled Molly Weasley just continued pairing socks together and folding tee-shirts. "Ronald, now is not the time for your nonsense," she said, almost distractedly.
For her part, Ginny just sat there, the very picture of innocence, watching her brother rant and rave. He was, of course, completely right -- he'd been walking down the hallway earlier in the day and stumbled upon a strategically placed make-out session between herself and Malfoy. Ron hadn't stormed up to her to start yelling like he had when he'd found her with Dean Thomas in a similar predicament. Ron hadn't even hexed him. Her brother had simply passed out into an ungraceful heap on the floor.
For a moment, she almost felt sorry for him, but then Malfoy had pulled back from suckling on her neck to look at the Ron-heap. "We've broken your imbecilic brother," he said, dryly.
Narrowing her eyes at her ersatz boyfriend, Ginny spat, "He isn't an imbecile. He just cares about me, and he likely doesn't appreciate seeing me get pawed." Startled with how mean she sounded, she then shook her head at herself. "I mean…he'll be fine," she added, as casually as she could muster.
"Right," he replied. He then leaned in to give her a soft kiss before heading off down the hallway again. "I have some things to do. I'll see you later, if I haven't been castrated or something."
Thankfully, Malfoy hadn't been castrated because the moment Ron had come to, he'd dragged Ginny by the hand into the sitting room, where their mother was folding the laundry, and proceeded to rant and rave for a solid fifteen minutes about what he'd seen.
"She can't stay here any more when we all have to be gone. I'm not playing around anymore, she has to start coming with us!" Ron shouted.
Her heart jumped into her throat. This was it, the moment of truth. Careful not to look too hopeful, Ginny kept her eyes down on the floor, playing demure. "Mum, I think Ron is overreacting," she said, waving a hand casually.
Molly looked between her two youngest children for a moment and then turned to Ron, as Ginny held her breath. "She's staying here, Ronald Weasley. We've been through this time and time again, and I don't see why you keep pushing this issue. Ginny has shown all this maturity - she's let it go! Now why can't you?"
Ginny's mouth dropped open, as her heart fell from her throat down into the pit of her stomach. Had she just heard right? Her mother thought she'd just let the issue go! She couldn't even hear what her mum and Ron were now arguing about because of the blood pounding in her ears. She just couldn't believe it, it didn't make any sense whatsoever. All that work of befriending the enemy, all the sacrifice of keeping her fiery personality in check, all that time and effort she'd spent, and her mother didn't even seem to care that Draco Malfoy had just been caught with his fucking tongue down her daughter's throat!
There was a strange ringing in her ears, a hollow feeling in her stomach, and the desperate urge to start screaming uncontrollably. It was just unfair. "May I be excused now, please?" she asked, hollowly. Molly and Ron barely even acknowledged her, so she just got up and left the room.
"Fuck," she swore, as she made her way up the stairs to the attic. She figured that was where Malfoy was, and she could definitely use some comfort at the moment, unable to think of anyone else she could spend any time with that she wouldn't want to punch in the face or something equally as violent.
She paused for a moment outside the doorway to his bedroom, feeling that same strange feeling in her stomach that she couldn't exactly place. The door was shut, so she knocked, and despite not getting any answer, Ginny plowed into the room anyway. "Hey, I need to talk to - oh sweet Merlin, what are you doing?" Her hand came up to cover her mouth as she blushed a brilliant crimson red.
"I'm changing my clothes, little girl, so maybe you want to turn around until I'm finished," he answered, disdainfully. "Unless you want to give me a hand here."
"No, I'm all right," she replied, completely embarrassed.
"So," he continued, as he pulled himself into a pair of shorts, "what did you want?"
Trying her best to regain her focus in the face of seeing him quite thoroughly unclothed, she walked forward into the room and took a seat on the edge of his bed. "This is going to sound ridiculous," she said, "but I feel like something just fell apart, and I wanted to…see you." Suddenly, Ginny realized both how pathetic she sounded and how incredibly dangerous it was that she had said something to him of all people.
He sat down next to her then, after pulling on a gray tee-shirt, and, in a gesture that surprised Ginny with its tenderness, pulled her back against his chest, wrapping his arms around her. "What did you do?"
Of course he would assume that it was something she did. Even if it was, he didn't have to be such a jerk and say anything. Even if the relationship was a sham, he was supposed to at least be supportive of her, damn it! "I didn't do anything, thank you very much," she replied, even as she settled back into his arms. He was awfully comfortable, but he probably knew that already. "Forget it, it doesn't matter," she added, a bit bitterly.
He squeezed her close to him and rested his chin on her shoulder. "All right," he responded.
She waited almost a minute before turning her head back to him and giving him a glare. "That's it. You're really going to drop it?"
"You said to forget it, and now you're bringing it up again?" he replied, looking down at her slightly bewildered.
"Yes! You're supposed to comfort me, you stupid arse," she said angrily. "You're supposed to keep it going so I can yell and rant and whatnot, and you'll listen carefully and then offer up some stupid advice that I'm not going to take anyway, but it'll still be nice to hear that you, I don't know, care or something. God, do you have ANY idea what being in a relationship means?" And as soon as the words had left her mouth, Ginny felt that weird feeling in her stomach intensify to the point that she grimaced and actually had to put a hand on her belly.
Her heart was pounding rapidly in her chest, as Ginny felt him disengage from her. He stood up and knelt in front of her. "No, Ginny, I do not have any idea of what being in a relationship means," he said evenly.
Ginny felt compelled to apologize, but why, she wasn't quite sure. "Draco, I'm sorry," she said, after a moment of just looking at him, "I don't know what came over me just now." It felt like the understatement of the year. Reaching out, she cupped his face in her hands, glad when he didn't flinch away from her. "I didn't mean to yell, really, I'm sorry."
His eyes raked over her face then, as if he was searching for something, and Ginny felt strangely exposed. "It's all right," he then said, in a low voice that made all the little hairs on the back of her neck stand on end. "And you know, I think I know something that might cheer you up."
"Oh?" she said, almost breathlessly.
As he climbed back onto the bed, she slid backwards, allowing him better access, until he was suddenly straddling her, pinning her shoulders to the bed and leaning over her. "Yes, I think I have just the thing," he replied. With an almost feral look in his eyes, he bent his head and kissed her.
His kisses, Ginny had come to realize, were quite possibly the most addicting things she had ever experienced. While Michael Corner's had had their inexperienced sort of charm, and Dean Thomas had introduced her to the delights the French had blessed the world with, and even Harry's had the power to make her weak in the knees, none of them had anything on Draco Malfoy. In a way, she almost wanted to thank Pansy Parkinson, even though she despised the horrid little cow and it would be entirely inappropriate, because he must have learned to kiss this way on her.
He had a way of making her feel dizzy whenever they came up for air, and it was only partly thanks to how long they had gone without taking a breath. Kissing him was heady and fulfilling in ways that made her insides shiver and tingle with the promise of what more was to come. Although they hadn't gone much further than serious making out and over-the-clothes petting, it was enough to get Ginny thinking about other, more serious pleasure.
Breaking away for a moment and panting, Ginny managed to choke out, "Boys…always thinking sex is the answer to everything!"
"Doesn't the making up have to come after the fighting?" he murmured, as he dragged his lips lightly down her neck.
She giggled in spite of herself, as she had to admit that that usually was how things worked, if every other couple in the history of the world was the precedent. "I guess you're right about that," she replied, tangling her fingers in his longish blond hair. "So where were we?"
"Right here," he responded, but to her surprise, he didn't lean in to kiss her again. Instead, he started to move backwards off of her, kissing her a few times down the chest before he licked a trail from her belly button to the waistband of her shorts. "I think," he added, as he poised his hands on the elastic fabric, "being your birthday and all, you should get a proper present." Draco quirked an eyebrow and smirked knowingly at her.
Ginny was only slightly embarrassed about having forgotten her own birthday. It likely had something to do with all the excitement of keeping her plan going and having everything seemingly come crashing down on her that morning, but still, she couldn't believe that she would actually forget that she had just come of age in the wizarding world. What's more, it appeared that everyone else had fucking forgotten as well. Her mouth dropped open as she made to start angrily ranting about how nothing at all had changed, but he silenced by dipping his hands below the waistband and easing the shorts down off her hips.
"I didn't forget," he said, "and I'm going to go ahead and make sure that you don't forget either."
Ginny was more than a little shocked with herself as she lifted up her hips so that he could remove her shorts. Her eyes widened considerably, even as she reached out to grip his tee-shirt by the chest and pulled him in so that his face was poised above hers again. "Draco, I--" she began, but whatever she was trying to say stuck in her throat and was immediately forgotten when he reached down and lightly traced his fingers along her slit, through the soft cotton of her knickers.
"Just tell me if you want me to stop," he whispered, courteously, yet confidently, as if he knew there was no way she was going to stop him. He then moved back away from her again and settled himself back on the bed so that he had perfect access to her most intimate female parts.
He began slowly, lightly tracing his fingers over her through her knickers before he obviously decided that they were just in the way. Ginny lifted her hips up so that he could ease the knickers all the way off, but once he had tossed them away behind himself, she felt even more exposed than she had before, and she reached up to cover her eyes with her hands.
"Don't be embarrassed," he said. "You're beautiful, Ginny."
Wondering just where her confidence had run off to, Ginny forced herself to drop her hands and look at him. She didn't get much of a chance to relax, though, because as soon as she was looking at him, he smirked at her and teased one finger inside of her. Immediately, she grasped at the sheets on either side of her, hands fisting. She hadn't even noticed how aroused she was by him until just then, but the wetness she felt between her thighs was now a pretty good indicator.
"Not too fast, little girl," he teased, as she instinctively inched herself forward into his hand. "I want to make this last."
Ginny bit down on her lower lip, closing her eyes, as she felt him begin to slowly thrust his finger in and out, in a pantomime of what she knew he was eager to do with a larger and thicker piece of his anatomy. After a few moments, he slid a second finger inside her, stretching her a bit, and she softly cried out.
"Shhh…" he admonished, leaning over her a bit to kiss her stomach again, "we wouldn't want anyone to come running up here and spoiling it, now would we?"
In the very back of her mind, Ginny felt like that was exactly what she wanted because maybe kissing in front of Ron hadn't been enough, but then Draco brushed his thumb over her clitoris and all thoughts flew out of her mind completely. Her hips bucked upward, as he carefully circled the little nub, teasing her, while continuing to thrust his two fingers in and out.
Just as she was beginning to feel something stirring deep within her, a feeling that she had only ever elicited from herself (she had once gone down on Harry, but he hadn't exactly gotten the chance to reciprocate before they'd broken up) in the privacy of her bedroom, Draco removed his fingers. She narrowed her eyes at him, feeling flushed and riled up, completely in disbelief that he would just start something like that and not finish it! "What the hell is the matter with you?" she asked, in a low voice.
Draco only continued to smirk at her, and then, in what was quite possibly the most erotic sight she had ever witnessed in her young life, he sucked his two fingers into his mouth, tasting her juices. "I want more." He dipped his head then, before she could respond, and buried his face in her coarse, dark-red curls.
"OH!" she cried out instantly, as his amazingly talented tongue slid up and down her slit, before delving inside of her to repeat the motions he had made with his fingers a moment earlier. "Oh, fuck, Draco, yes!"
She tried to bend her knees so that Draco could crawl up between her thighs to get better access to her, but instead, he carelessly tossed her knees over his shoulders and pushed up closer to her. "You taste so good," he murmured into her mound so that she almost couldn't hear him, the vibrations only adding to the sensations he was giving her. He then reached up with his hand to pinch her left nipple, teasing and toying with it until it stiffened.
Mimicking him, Ginny used her own hand to play with her right breast, squeezing it as her eyes closed and she mouthed cries of wordless pleasure. She could barely hear over the ringing in her ears, and her heart was pounding so fast that she almost felt like it was going to beat its way out of her chest. This was brilliant! It was beyond brilliant! As her hips bucked upward in automatic response to him, she turned her head to the side, breathing heavily. "I'm really close," she almost whispered into the pillow.
He seemed to take it as a personal challenge. Draco ceased his caressing of her inner walls and moved upward to the main attraction. He first gave her a wicked look with just his eyes and then dipped his head to dart his tongue, like a serpent's, against her clitoris.
Ginny cried out sharply and almost crushed his head as her thighs tried to squeeze together. "Oh, yes, yes, yes, more!" She practically arched right up off the bed, as he continued to assault her into sheer ecstasy, swirling agonizingly languid circles around her clit. "Damn it, Draco, please!"
Thankfully, he obliged her. Hands gripping her inner thighs almost painfully hard, he sucked hard on her nub, and with a soft squeal, Ginny came toppling over the edge. Her hips bucked upward in sharp jerks and her breath came short and hot, as she rode out her orgasm. Slowly, slowly, she came down from her high, taking shaky breaths in and out. She was afraid to look anywhere except straight up at the ceiling, for fear that she would say something incredibly stupid and untrue like 'I love you' because it seemed like the only appropriate response to getting something so incredibly amazing.
Draco crawled up alongside her then and began pressing soft kisses to her cheek and neck. "Happy birthday," he muttered, before then kissing her full on the lips. Ginny could taste the subtle tang of her own juices, and the tiny shiver that ran through her did not escape Draco's notice. He chuffed a short laugh at her, before kissing her again and slipping his tongue down her throat.
With a small whimper of protest, Ginny pushed him back so that she could look at him. "Wait, wait…reciprocation?"
He smirked at her. "Not today. Let's pretend I'm totally unselfish for just this once and make it all about you…but definitely another day."
They then settled back into their normal pattern of rubbing and touching, and Ginny tried to pretend that she wasn't naked from the waist down, although it felt a lot better than when they used to do it in clothes. She strangely found herself wishing that he would take his own shorts off, purely as an experiment of course. As soon as the thought popped into her head, she decided to give it a try, sod what he said about it being all about her. It didn't seem fair, and after all, Ginny was all about fairness these days.
She slid her hand down in between the two of them and brushed her hand ever so lightly against his almost painfully obvious erection. He hissed as she experimentally stroked him through his shorts. She knew how to do this particular sex act pretty well, but for some reason, she felt more than a little shy doing it to Draco.
"Wait!" he cried out, pushing her away. His eyes were shut tight, as if he was afraid to look at her. "We should stop."
Ginny felt oddly paranoid. Did I do something wrong? she thought to herself, as she pushed herself up into a sitting position, her cheeks flushing maddeningly. "Why?" she asked.
He still wouldn't look at her. "Because if we don't stop now, I don't think I'll be able to stop at all," he confessed.
Biting down on her lower lip, as if steeling her resolve, Ginny turned to him and lightly ran her hand down his cheek. "Maybe I don't want you to stop at all."
Draco's eyes shot open. "What?"
She gave him the same snotty smirk that he was so fond of giving her. "Maybe…I don't want you to stop at all," she repeated, in a sultry whisper. Why not, she thought. Why shouldn't they take it a little further? Physically, she felt more than ready, and while she was still having a hard time separating out her emotions to see what she was really feeling, she figured that if she did have sex with him, it would be a nice way of getting herself all properly focused and sorted out again.
"Are you sure?" Draco asked quickly, as if he were scarcely daring to hope that she was serious. It almost made Ginny laugh a little, but now was not the time, so she held it in and nodded her affirmation instead.
He looked to be at war with himself from the way his expression changed rapidly from excitement to seriousness to bewilderment to nervous, and it struck Ginny as very odd. From her experience, any time even the barest hint of sexuality was involved, boys were more than ready to get it started, no questions asked, but Draco seemed genuinely concerned about something, though he had yet to speak again. "Please?" she encouraged, feeling slightly ridiculous.
She was rewarded, however, with a smile, and though she could swear she felt something clench inside of her upon seeing it, she ignored it and smiled back at him. "All right," he said, "if you're sure."
"I'm sure," she replied, straight away. Something occurred to her then, and she frowned lightly. "Oh shit…except…well, Draco, I'm not on the Potion, and as much as I like you, I'm not ready for any little mini-Ginnys just yet."
The look of disappointment on his face, then, very nearly made her break down in giggles, but it vanished so quickly that she didn't have the time. "Someone in this house has got to have condoms," he said, matter-of-factly, and with that, he was up out of the bed and out the door.
He was halfway down the stairs by the time Ginny brought herself out of her shock at being left, threw herself back into her shorts, and ran out the door. "Will you bloody wait for me?" she cried at him. "You can't very well do it without me, you know."
Undeterred, he kept walking, though Ginny did notice that he slowed down just a tad. "You check your brother's room, the one with the Veela wife, and I'll rummage through the Huffleduffers things. I've seen those disgusting looks that Mudblood Finch-Fletchley has been giving Brown…I'm sure he's all prepared for when she decides to finally spread her--"
"I'm going to stop you right there, before I decide I don't want to do this anymore because of your stupid mouth," Ginny threatened, as she finally caught up with him.
"Sorry, sorry," he said, almost distractedly. "All right, we'll have to be a bit stealthy about this because there are people around, and I don't want to get caught."
"Right, right," Ginny said, waving a hand. As they reached the second floor landing, the pair walked down to the left, as it happened that Bill and Fleur were rooming next door to the Hufflepuff boys. They both snuck into their assigned rooms, after making sure that they were empty (for Draco's sake, and certainly not for Ginny's, she thought) and Ginny set to looking through drawers for condoms.
She only found it mildly disconcerting that she was filching prophylactics from her own brother, but found it more disturbing when she found a completely full, though open, box in the bottom of a drawer. The idea of baby Fleurs wandering about did absolutely nothing for her appetite. But that was neither here nor there, as she had gotten what she had come for, and was now going to get just a little more.
Ginny then emerged from the room that Bill and Fleur shared, box of condoms in hand, and instantly bumped right into Draco, who was coming out of the Hufflepuff boys' room with his own open box of condoms. As they slammed into each other, the boxes flew out of their hands. Draco instinctively reached out to steady Ginny, but they both went toppling down onto the ground as wrapped rubbers rained down around them.
They looked at each other for a stunned moment, and then Ginny started to shake with laughter. Seconds later, Draco joined in, which only made Ginny laugh harder, as she couldn't remember ever having heard him laugh honestly as opposed to laughing in derision at something stupid someone had done.
"Come on, let's clean this up before someone sees," he finally said, after a bit, shaking his head as he began to pick up the rubbers and put them back into the boxes.
She hadn't forgotten that someone could very well come strolling down the hallway right now and see the two of them blatantly getting prepared to shag, but when he mentioned it, despite the twinge in her stomach that she was getting worse and worse at ignoring, she couldn't help but start fervently hoping that someone, preferably Ron but really anyone older, would come strolling by.
And seconds later, it seemed that Ginny was going to get her wish. "I hear footsteps!" she exclaimed, as she slowly gathered the condoms into a little pile.
"Shit!" he swore, but before Ginny could react either way and before whoever was there could round the corner, he grabbed her by the wrist, tugged her upward, and dragged her into the empty room he'd come out of before. Shutting the door, he pressed his back up against it, breathing rapidly from sudden adrenaline. "That was close!" he added, as he turned to her and smiled.
Ginny wanted to be upset about having her plan foiled for the second time in a single day, but seeing him smile made all thoughts of self-pity and plotting fly right out of her head. "You have such a nice smile," she said, before she could stop herself.
Smoothing a hand over his hair and looking down a bit, as if he actually was embarrassed by her compliment, Draco still continued smiling. "Thank you, I guess."
Rewarding him with a smile of her own, Ginny walked over. "You're welcome. I wish you'd smile more often. Maybe it'd make you more tolerable," she teased playfully.
He rolled his eyes, but gathered her into his arms all the same. "I think you tolerate me just fine, little girl."
"That actually doesn't make any sen-" Draco cut Ginny off with a soft, lingering kiss. After a moment, she broke away. "That reminds me," she murmured softly. "Where were we?"
"I think you know exactly where we were," he said, in a low voice that made Ginny almost weak at the knees. She reminded herself to ask him how the hell he did that so well, but then he lifted her up, wrapping her legs around his waist, and carried her over to Justin or Ernie's bed.
"Draco, not here!" she squealed, as he set her down.
He smirked down at her. "Why not? It's a perfectly suitable bed…and I'm sure MacMillan isn't getting any good use out of it. I'll double-lock the door and put an Imperturbable Charm on the door. We're safe."
Ginny wanted to argue with him, but then he leaned down and kissed her, massaging his tongue against hers, tasting her, and she couldn't exactly find any words to say. This bed was likely just as good as any other bed, really. She pushed him away then and lifted her tee-shirt up over her head, in answer to his proposition.
He rewarded her with a smile, but when she reached behind to unclasp her bra, the smile faded as his jaw dropped. It was absolutely fantastic to watch because she'd never seen him react so honestly before. "You're beautiful," he said, in a hushed voice.
Even though she knew she had a decent figure, she still blushed. "Thank you."
Draco removed his own shirt then and tossed it away, before quickly skimming his hand up her stomach to squeeze and fondle her left breast. Ginny shivered with delight, as he bent his head to taste her right breast. His clever little tongue circled around her nipple, teasing it to a hard point, before he sucked on the hardened tip.
He broke away much too quickly for her, but it was clear that he was more than ready for the main attraction, and Ginny was too, if the earlier acts were any indicator of his abilities. Obligingly, she lifted her hips as he tugged her shorts and knickers down for the second time in as many hours, casually throwing them onto the pile with his tee-shirt. Then, he got off of her to take his own shorts off, his cock already half-hard. Ginny watched, with what bordered on fascination, as he stroked himself into readiness and then opened up one of the condoms he'd managed to hang onto and rolled it carefully down onto his member.
"You're absolutely sure about this?" he asked again, seriously, as he crawled atop her again, poising himself to push inside her.
"Yes," she replied, barely letting him finish. "I want to, I want you, Draco, I need you." Just then, Ginny felt something clench inside of her. She didn't know why, but suddenly she felt strange. Things were going too fast, or something wasn't right, but she felt very nervous all of a sudden.
It must have shown on her face because Draco sat back again, looking down at her warily. "What is it?"
Ginny opened her mouth and closed it three times before she was finally able to recognize what she wanted to say in her mind. Looking seriously at him, she said, "I'm a virgin."
Draco looked down at her, barely moving, not even blinking for almost a minute before he answered. "You are?"
She nodded. "I…I just thought I should tell you." She felt a bit better inside, but there were still a few things that were bothering her -- some she recognized and some she did not.
"Yes." He looked away and back at her again. "Yes, I'm glad you told me that."
"Are you a virgin?" she blurted out then, not that it was any of her business really, and certainly not that she cared. "And be honest!"
"Would I lie?" he drawled, quirking an eyebrow at her.
Ginny glared at him. "Yes," she said, incredulously, "you would. In a heartbeat and without regret."
He seemed to consider this, and after a moment, he answered her. "No. I'm not."
For the first time in months, a feeling surged through Ginny that she had absolutely no problem recognizing. Her cheeks flushed with anger as she imagined the stupid little twat that Draco had slept with. She just knew that she had absolutely no reason to be jealous, that she was being completely ridiculous, that they weren't really dating as far as she was concerned, that she didn't even like him all that much, but she felt incredibly envious all the same. "Oh," she finally responded, as evenly as she could. "Who was it?" As soon as the question was out of her mouth, she instantly wanted to take it back. She didn't want to know who the stupid little twat was really, the stupid nameless bitch, who cared!
Draco sighed and sat back against the wall. "Does it matter?"
"I guess not," Ginny muttered, both relieved and annoyed that he hadn't named names. She shook her head then, attempting to get her clarity back, but she still felt rather rotten inside. Looking over at him, she tried to force a smile, but that didn't work either. "I'm sorry," she continued, though she found that she really didn't mean it, "I guess I ruined things. I didn't mean to."
He shrugged at her. "It's all right. I don't think you were really all that ready in the first place."
She opened her mouth to protest, but deep down, she knew he was right. "Yeah," she said, turning her head so she didn't have to see the disappointment in his eyes. It troubled her, how much she suddenly cared, so she quickly sat up and reached for her clothing. "I'm sorry," she repeated again.
"It's all right, Ginny, really." As if to prove his point, he reached out and pulled her backwards toward him, resting her flush against his naked torso. "When you're really ready, you'll know. Believe me…it's better if you wait. I should have," he said, and Ginny was struck by how honest he sounded. But then he continued, saying something that made Ginny's stomach turn over on itself so quickly, she felt like she was going to be sick right then and there. "I love you, you know."
Wresting herself from his grip, Ginny grabbed her tee-shirt and bra, threw the tee-shirt on carelessly, and dashed to the door. "No, you don't," she cried, as she flung the door open and ran out. She didn't even bother to shut it behind her, instead running off down the hallway as fast as her legs could carry her.
She felt like things were falling spectacularly to pieces, all of a sudden, but she didn't know why, and it pained her. How could things change so rapidly, in so short a period of time? She knew she had a lot to think about, but the biggest question that she had in her mind at the moment was why the fucking hell did he have to say that he loved her…and why had it hurt so much to hear it?
--- --- --- ---
Avoiding Draco Malfoy proved to be as difficult as befriending him had been easy. It seemed to Ginny that now that she wanted to be away from him, everyone else in the house wanted to see them together at all times. Things were getting far more dangerous out there, and to compensate, the Order was spending more and more time in strategic planning at the Headquarters, which meant they were spending more and more time together as a group.
She would see Draco at breakfasts and dinners and would try to avoid his eyes only to bump into him. She would attempt to stay away from the rooms he normally spent his time in, only to end up trapped with him somewhere she had never expected. She had even tried staying locked in her bedroom for hours on end, only to have him come knocking on the door because someone had sent him to get her. It was like a fucking nightmare because every time she thought she was finally starting to feel better about the situation, she'd see him or catch his scent from down the hall or find some little reminder of his presence in the house and she'd be right back to square one, feeling miserable and confused.
Ginny couldn't tell what hurt more: not understanding why she was feeling so badly or having the suspicion that he was hurting just as badly and really caring about it. She was just so exhausted by feeling perplexed; she wasn't used to not having things perfectly clear in her head. She was always the one who had the clearest head in the family, always, but in the face of whatever had happened between herself and Draco, she just couldn't figure things out.
But it wasn't until the evening of September first, the night she should have been attending her very last Opening Banquet at Hogwarts, had it still been open, that Ginny was finally able to sort herself out.
It had been a beautiful day, and Ginny hadn't seen hide nor hair of Draco since breakfast, a fact she was both comforted and disturbed by, but she had forgotten about it around noon when the entire house had vacated the premises in order to launch a strategic preemptive strike on Voldemort's forces. She had seen them off, after being told that they hoped to return home before midnight, but that they weren't making any promises. She decided that she was going to wait for them to return, as just about anything was better than laying alone with her horrible thoughts in her bedroom, trying to fall asleep.
Midnight came and went, as did one o'clock and two and three, and although she knew that they had said it might take longer than they had anticipated, Ginny was starting to grow very apprehensive. Something just did not feel right. She had a weird and desperate urge to seek Draco out as the hall clock rang half of four o'clock in the morning, to see if he had heard anything. Rolling it over and over in her head, she finally decided that she was going to do just that, fuck the awkwardness between them.
Just as she got to her feet, though, the front door swung wide open, slamming heavily against the wall, as a stream of Order members flew into the room, led by Aurors Shacklebolt and Savage who looked to be carrying a body. Ginny fell back against the wall, surprised. She noted, with fear, that the people returning didn’t seem to match the number of people that had left earlier. Once they had all made it in, she shut the door behind them. No one had stopped to do it, which made Ginny realize that something very serious was happening. She then dashed off after them, following the group into the makeshift hospital in the cellar.
The two tall Aurors laid the body they were carrying carefully down on the table and immediately, Healer Jones and her Apprentice Katie Bell moved forward to begin working on the person. Ginny couldn't see who it was for the people standing in front of her, and though she was very curious, she didn't dare try to push her way forward.
"All right, everyone please leave the room so that we can work!" Katie said, as she moved around the table to get to the other side. No one seemed to want to move, until the person lying on the table let out a horrible scream of pain, as Healer Jones had just Revived him. Upon hearing that, most of the people started to leave, save for one girl who wouldn't budge. "Susan, please, you need to leave us."
Ginny now realized who was on the table, since it was no secret to anyone in the house who Susan Bones' heart belonged to, and she turned then to leave the room. She didn't want to see what was going to happen. However, she did sit down in the hallway outside the door, feeling nauseous, worried, and almost dizzy with fatigue and fear. Others milled about, and Harry appeared to pace, with a noticeable limp that Ginny found herself terribly uncomfortable with, back and forth in front of the door, no doubt terrified that he'd lose one of his best strategists.
Ron came and sat down next to Ginny. She turned to him, but he kept his eyes straight ahead. "There were too many of them," he said, voice hollow. "We tried, but there were just too many…we don't even know where they all came from. It's like there are more and more every time. We kill them and we kill them, but they keep coming…like fucking cockroaches or something." Ginny figured it was best to keep her mouth shut and just let him talk, as the words seemed to just be spilling out of his mouth without his control. He never shared information with her, especially not since he'd caught her with Draco. "And Susan…she was going to get…he jumped in front of it…and now -"
He was interrupted by an agonizing wail that could be heard even through the heavy oak door. Ginny and the others turned to look there, and Ginny felt like her heart had jumped into her throat. Seconds later, the door burst open and Susan came careening out. Harry caught her round the waist, and she spun into his arms, sobbing. "No, no, no, no!" she wailed over and over again.
Like watching a broom wreck, Ginny wanted to look away, but she just couldn't tear her eyes away from seeing it. Harry was trying his best to be comforting, rubbing Susan's back and shushing her quietly, but the brunette girl was inconsolable. Her knees buckled, and were she not in Harry's strong grip, she would have fallen to the floor. "Susan, I'm sorry," Ginny heard Harry say.
"It's not fair! It's not fair. I love him! I LOVE HIM!" she shouted then.
Ginny suddenly felt ill. Her breathing became labored, and she felt a churning in her stomach that could only mean one thing. She shoved herself out of her sitting position and started off down the hall, unmindful of the scene behind her anymore.
It was as if seeing the amazingly real grief of that poor girl showed Ginny exactly how wrongly she'd been acting. In that one moment, the war was no longer some thing Out There that Ginny needed to go and be a part of; it was here and real. It wasn't some game. And the feeling in her stomach that just seemed to get more and more intense as the days went on, she finally recognized as pure and simple guilt - guilt for thinking that she could manipulate people around her so maliciously, guilt for being selfish in a time of such great need for selflessness, and most of all, guilt for using Draco so callously. She dashed down the hall, and, not even making it to the lavatory around the corner, fell to her knees to wretch onto the floor.
Somehow, when she felt someone lift her hair away from her face and soothingly rub her back as she hacked and coughed, she knew it was Draco, and she felt comforted in spite of her guilt. He said nothing, but Ginny knew it would be him, and she now knew that she absolutely had to come clean.
When she had emptied her stomach of its contents, she wiped her hand roughly across her mouth and took a deep, shaky breath to steady herself. "Draco," she whispered, hoarsely, as she finally turned around to look at him, "I need to talk to you."
His expression was blank as he answered her. "Maybe you should go brush your teeth first," he said, though his tone gave no indication as to his mood either.
Ginny watched as he muttered an Evanesco to clean up the mess she'd made, and it made her grimace. She then shook her head. "No, I need to talk to you right now before I lose my nerve."
Draco looked at her for a long moment before he finally answered. "All right," he said.
She closed her eyes, steeling her resolve for a long moment before she finally just decided to come out with it. "I'm in love with you." Instantly, she clapped a hand over her mouth, eyes wide. "That was so not what I wanted to say," she added, muffled through her hands, as she flushed a deep crimson.
"Then what did you want to say?" he asked, still even and guarded-sounding.
Ginny was shocked that he didn't give her some cutting remark or knock her down a few pegs because of it, and it obviously showed clearly on her face. "I-I…"
"Just, out with it!" he suddenly shouted. "I'm done with your stupid games, Ginny, just say it."
"I've been using you!"
There it was. It was out there in the open, finally, finally, and the relief that surged through Ginny's entire body made her positive that she had done the right thing in confessing. Certainly, she still felt horrid about what she'd done to him, and the fact that she'd just confessed to being in love with him when it couldn't possibly be true was still buzzing around in her brain, but the guilt in her stomach was gone. She almost felt like she could smile - almost.
"Draco, I…I'm sorry," she continued, feeling like she needed to just get everything out so he would know just exactly what she'd done to him. "I acted like a child, just like a silly, foolish, ridiculous little child. I wanted them to notice how much they were ignoring me, but instead of doing the adult thing and just telling them about it, I messed around, lied, and manipulated everything, and…" she sighed gently, "I was wrong. I was just wrong, Draco, and I'm sorry."
Draco just looked at her, and Ginny could swear that she started to sweat. All she wanted was for him to say something, anything at all. She didn't want to hope for forgiveness. She didn't feel she deserved it, but she at least wanted to hear something.
"Say something, please," she said, quietly.
After another endless moment, he spoke. "I knew," he said simply, fixing her with a hard stare.
Ginny's mouth dropped open. "What?"
Infuriatingly enough, Draco smirked at her. "I knew almost from the beginning. You know, I'm really not as dumb as you seem to think I am."
"But if you knew," she replied quickly, feeling even more rotten than before, "why did you play along? Why?"
Draco reached out to take her hand into his, and though she didn't really want to, didn't feel she deserved to be touched by him, she let him take it anyway. "Honestly, at first, it was amusing. You were living up to the image I'd created of you in my mind all those years - calculating, manipulative, childish…altogether very Slytherin…" He trailed off for a moment, to chuckle lightly, but Ginny didn't find it very funny. Although she had no business feeling it, considering that she'd done the exact same thing, she felt used, and it felt as horrible as she imagined. "But," he then continued, "after a while…things changed."
"Changed?" she echoed.
"Yes," he replied. "Somewhere in there, somewhere in your whole little stupid web of deceit, it changed. It stopped being a game and started being real. My feelings for you weren't just amusement and pity anymore. I actually started to like you, and I know you felt it too. You wouldn't be confessing right now if you didn't." Leaning in so that he was very close to her face, he whispered against her lips. "You started really liking me too."
"No!" she said, but even as the word came out, she knew it wasn't true. If her earlier outburst was any indication of her true feelings, then it absolutely wasn't true.
He nodded. "Yes."
She looked deeply at him, eyes wide and searching his for any sign of malice or dishonesty. She could find not a trace. Slowly, shakily, she took a deep breath in, and then a small, shy smile curved at her lips. "Yes," she whispered.
Draco smiled back at her. "I know."
A relieved giggle escaped her lips. "You don't have to be so arrogant all the time, you know."
"Yes, I do," he replied, rolling his eyes at her.
Ginny squeezed his hand and then brought it up to her lips for a gentle kiss. "So…what happens now?" she asked, with uncharacteristic uncertainty. She'd been through quite a whirlwind of emotions in the last few months, though, so she forgave herself for being less than positive about her feelings.
Draco looked at her, an amused smirk curling onto his lips. "I can think of one thing," he said, jokingly.
"I need to brush my teeth first," she replied, equally teasing. But then her expression changed, as a new thought struck her mind. She looked down at her lap for a moment and then looked back up at him, seriously. "Do you really want to?"
"Ginny, I was just jo -"
"Do you?" she interrupted. "Because I do. I feel like…well, I feel like I might need it, after all of this, all this waiting and madness and everything." She knew how cathartic sex could be, not from experience but from the things she'd heard from other girls, and she figured, if anything, she needed a sort of real, final release. "And Draco, I want it to be with you."
He shook his head and started to back away. "No, Ginny, I don't want to rush into things. Not like last time. I don't want you to feel like you owe me anything."
"I don't!" she insisted, standing up again. "I mean, I owe you a lot for using you the way I did, but I don't plan on repaying you for that with sexual favors. This is…this is for me. Maybe it's selfish, but at least I know it is this time." Ginny looked down at the floor, frowning and wrinkling her nose in distaste, but somehow, she didn't feel guilty saying it or wanting it. She felt right for the first time in a very, very long time. "If you don't want to, then we absolutely don't have to…but if you do, then I'd really like to."
Draco looked at her for a long moment, almost as if he was warring with himself over what he wanted to do. Ginny just looked back at him as honestly as she could, trying to show him that she didn't want to pressure him either way. Finally, he held out his hand to her and smiled softly. "All right, come on."
With a grin of her own, Ginny took his hand, and together they walked upstairs to his bedroom, leaving the scene of grief and pain and hurt behind them. "You know, you're right," she said, as they climbed the stairs.
"I usually am," he replied, with a smirk. "But what are you referring to this time?"
Ginny laughed, rolling her eyes. Funnily, she didn't find herself bothered by his stupid comments. She actually was a little amused. "About how things changed between us. I mean, I felt it too, but I just, I guess I didn't want to believe it, you know? I didn't want to think that I could possibly have any sort of feelings for you."
"I understand that," he said. "It came as a real shock to me when I realized I had feelings for you, but I guess…"
They had reached the door to his bedroom, and Ginny pushed it open and pulled him inside. "You guess, what?"
"I guess I grew up…because I could admit that that's what I feel instead of ignoring it because of your family," Draco said. He then leaned in to press his lips gently against her own, wrapping an arm around her waist and resting the other on the back of her neck.
Ginny whimpered, as her eyes opened. She pushed back and immediately covered her mouth with her hand. "Draco, let me go brush my teeth," she cried, embarrassed.
"I don't care about that," he replied and pulled her forward into a kiss again.
This time, Ginny was helpless to argue with him. Draco held her close, wrapping one arm around her and cupping her cheek with amazing gentleness with the other hand. He parted her lips with his tongue, eliciting a soft mewl out of Ginny that she would have been embarrassed by in any other situation.
Tangling their tongues together, Ginny rubbed up against him, demonstrating her sudden urgency. She was ready, right now, and she wanted him to be the one. "Draco," she whispered against his mouth, "please."
He pressed one, two, three more short kisses to her lips before turning to shut his bedroom door. "All right," he said, as he moved her backwards and helped her down onto the bed. "But if you change your mind or it's going too fast or anything, tell me right away."
Ginny had a ridiculous urge to say "Yes, Dad," but she refrained. She nodded, knowing how serious this was. She then reached up and pulled him down to her, feeling him press up against her as she kissed him deeply again.
His hand began the familiar trek down between their bodies to cup her breast, tweaking her nipple and kneading the soft skin through her shirt. She noticed that he was rubbing his lower body against hers and it was beginning to make her feel those amazing tingles in her lower belly that only he had been able to get out of her before. With a soft sigh, she pushed him back so that she could take off some of her clothing.
As Ginny lifted her shirt up over her head, Draco also took off his tee-shirt. He then attacked her with kisses down her naked torso, kissing all her little freckles almost playfully. Ginny giggled, as he licked the straight line from her belly-button to the waistband of her pants. He then came right back up again and began to suckle at her neck as his fingers traced idle circles on her stomach.
"Draco, please," she begged again, as she arched into his kisses. "Please, I want you."
"All right, impatient little girl," he murmured, as he moved once more down her chest. He paused for just a moment to flick his tongue against her tensed nipples, one after the other. He finally obliged her then, moving back to pull her pants and knickers down. "Ginny, one last time…are you absolutely sure?" he then asked.
With a shaky breath, in and out, Ginny nodded. "Yes, Draco, I'm sure. I think this is the first thing I've been completely sure of in months. Please, just do it. Please."
It seemed to be all he needed to know that she was indeed ready. He got up off the bed, went to his dresser drawer, and took out an unopened condom. He then turned back to her and shimmied out of his shorts and underpants, before walking back over to the bed and crawling back atop her.
Ginny felt a surreal sense of déjà vu, in that she had been here before in this exact position, but this time she didn't feel a sense of danger or wrongness. Instead, she felt safe, secure, and almost whole. She was finally doing the right thing, after months and months of acting like a foolish little child. Carefully, she spread her legs apart and bent her knees so that her feet were resting flat on the bed for him. She was ready to make the leap, and she couldn't believe how glad she was that Draco Malfoy was going to be the person she was going to do it with.
She watched him roll the condom down onto his stiff cock and marveled at the rapt look of concentration that was on his pointed features. He looked so incredibly serious, and it made her smile at him. He then poised himself above her, with the tip of his penis resting just outside her opening.
"It's going to hurt," he explained, "so I'm going to go very slowly."
"Okay," she said, and though she felt a twinge of nerves, she was unafraid and still ready for him to carry on.
Taking a deep breath, he climbed up over her and then slowly, gently, Draco pushed inside of her body. Ginny cried out sharply as he tore through the fragile cords of her virginity and a single tear squeezed out of her eyes. "Shhhh," he calmed her, reaching up a hand and wiping the tears away. "It's okay, are you okay?"
Nodding, she took a few deep breaths before she answered him. "Yes, I'm all right…I'm okay."
Like a true gentleman, Draco waited a few moments for her to acclimate to the sense of being filled before he slowly began to move again. He withdrew from her almost all the way, and instinctively, Ginny clenched around him, wanting to keep him inside of her. He hissed with pain or pleasure, she couldn't tell until he spoke. "You can't do that or I'm never going to last," he said, his eyelids fluttering as he looked up at the ceiling.
"It's okay," she encouraged. "I want you to…go faster."
He seemed to be quite glad to hear her say it, and he then began to push in and out of her with a slightly quickening pace. Draco thrust into her with grunts of pleasure, and Ginny could feel the stirring in her belly again. Arching her back up into him so that he had a better angle, Ginny, in spite of him telling her not to, began to contract her walls as he pulled out.
There was pain, she wouldn't deny that, but it was a strange sort of pleasure-filled pain, and she rather liked it. As Draco's breathing began to come faster and faster, matching the speed of his thrusts, she could tell that he was very close and that, while she probably wouldn't be able to orgasm this time, it didn't really matter just now.
As if sensing it himself, Draco reached down between them, though how he managed to support himself on just one arm Ginny would never know, and began to circle her clit with his thumb. She cried out wordlessly in pleasure, her back arching up again as she turned her head to the side and grabbed at his back, as if to pull him closer to her.
Breathless, he called out. "Ginny, I don't think I - I can't -"
"It's okay," she managed, between moans of sheer bliss, "you can. Come for me, Draco, please!"
Seconds later, he came with several sharp jerks into her before collapsing forward onto her. Still teetering on the verge of her own orgasm, Ginny was only mildly disappointed, but she didn't mention it because she was too wrapped up in thinking that she was finally no longer a virgin, and that she had just been fucked by someone that she well and truly loved.
It hit her with the force of a Stunner from an Auror squadron. She did love him. She loved him more than words could express. She absolutely loved Draco Malfoy, with all his arrogance and pomposity and stupid comments and annoying habits and charm and generosity and everything. She loved him.
"I love you," she then whispered into his hair, pressing a kiss to the back of his skull.
Panting, he looked up at her. "I know," he responded, breathlessly. Then, he rewarded her with his dazzling smile. "And I love you too."
Fin.
ORIGINAL REQUEST:
What would you like to receive:
The tone/mood of the fic: Dark/ morbid humor, coming-of-age, some romance but not just fluff. A reason why they are together beyond "I think he can be a better person." It can be that he is taking advantage of a rule she broke, she desperately needs someone to make herself feel vindicated about disliking herself or she truly is escaping Potter. Just as long as there is a reason for them to be together and that it is believable. I want a story, not just sex.
Rating of the the fic you want: Preferably NC-17 however I am willing to accept lesser ratings as long as there is mention of sexual activities, detail is appreciated but not required if sex scenes are written.
Canon or AU? As much canon as can be used, but veering into AU is acceptable. I.E.- They did meet the first time in Flourish and Blotts (canon), he teased her because he was wildly attracted to her (AU).
Deal Breakers (what don't you want?): Needless spells that do everything. No "refresher" spells that clean you up. I don't even want a pregnancy spell, make them use a potion or even better a condom. No "banishment spells" to make everything look clean unless the stuff goes somewhere. Magic is a tool they have but it is not an end-all, be-all.