slytherinswench wrote Guess Who's Coming To Dinner for ilsa_ilma_isse

[fienabler]

Title: Guess Who’s Coming To Dinner
Author: slytherinswench
Rating: Teen (mostly for language)
Possible Spoilers/Warnings: n/a
Summary: The boys find out that Draco Malfoy is coming to dinner, but they’re pretty sure they can get rid of him.
Author's Notes: I hope the requestor has as much fun reading it as I did writing it.
Beta:Loretta is the name for love on the lips and heart of this author. Big huggles to Marilyn for her unwavering support as well.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” Harry’s eyes boggled behind his glasses, making them look a bit like fishbowls, his pupils darting around like startled goldfish.

Ron’s head hung from his shoulders, a too ripe fruit heavy with his misery. “Bloody hell, mate. I wish I was,” he sighed.

Molly’s voice was shrill and harsh, drilling through the walls of the Burrow. “You two better not be plotting in there.”

“We have not yet begun to plot…” Harry threatened under his breath.

“Harry James Potter, I heard that!” Molly growled.

“Damn it, how does she do that?” Ron whispered.

“Worse yet, why are we still scared?” Harry whispered back.

“You’re the one that defeated a Dark Lord. You go tell her we’ll do as we like,” Ron prodded as he rolled his eyes. Voldemort had nothing on Molly Weasley.

“She’s your mum!” Harry fired back.

A knock sounded at the door and both men snapped their mouths shut. But when the door creaked open, it wasn’t Molly, but Fred and George.

“We heard.” They flopped as a single unit on the floor. “We’re here to help.”

“Are George and Fred up there with you? I meant what I said…” Molly hollered.

“Eyes in the back of her head, that one,” Fred whispered.

“Ears to boot,” George added.

“She had to, with you two miscreants. You screwed it up for the rest of us.” Harry was mock serious, but the theory was worth consideration.

“Never mind that, is there a plan? You need anything from Wizarding Wheezes?” The twins asked.

“She’s thought of everything. Both of them are taking extra special care of the food preparation. So putting a laxative in his portions is out,” Harry said.

Bill stuck his head through the door. “That’s small time, Harry.”

“So you heard?” Ron scowled.

“Merlin, how could I not? Fleur just told me today. Apparently, this has been in the works for weeks. They didn’t want to give us time to mobilize.” Bill sat down on the small bed. “You should know better than to plot in the house. Mum gets prickles up her neck when you do.”

“Well, there has to be something we can do.” Harry pulled out a small box from his pocket. “I was going to give this to her today.”

Another red head poked through the door. “It’s like a convention up here. What are the lot of you up to? It can’t be good.” Charlie managed to squeeze in the door. Quarters were getting tight.

“Draco Malfoy is coming to dinner.” Ron spat, as if the words themselves were something unpleasant crawling across his tongue. Like slugs. He decided in that moment, he’d rather have those slugs again than see his sister with a git like Malfoy.

“This isn’t going to end well.” Charlie snickered.

“How can you laugh at a time like this?” Harry demanded.

“Wait, what’s in the box, Harry?” George looked like he was about to burst.

Suddenly, all attention was on that small box in his hand.

“What do you think it is, you great wankers?”

“Does Ginny even know how you feel?” Bill was the voice of reason.

“I thought she did, but I don’t know now with all this Malfoy rot.” Harry looked somewhat defeated.

“Well, genius, did you tell her?” Bill again.

“I didn’t think I had to.”

There was a collective groan from the room.

“Idiot. They like it when you tell them. Even we know that much,” Fred said, motioning to George.

The door opened again.

“Hello, boys.” Arthur pushed his way into the crowded room. “Your mum sent me to make sure you aren’t getting into any trouble?” He said it loud enough for it to carry down to Molly before shutting the door behind him.

“Do we have a plan yet?” Arthur whispered.

“Harry’s going to propose,” Charlie snorted.

“That would be better than the Malfoy boy.” Arthur scowled.

“I sure as shite hope so!” Harry growled, eliciting snickers from the gathering.

“You know Percy is going to hightail it up here as soon as he gets here. We don’t have much time. He’ll ruin it for sure,” Ron said.

“Considering he’s Malfoy’s executive assistant, yeah.”

“Has anybody thought about Ginny’s feelings in all this?” Bill offered quietly.

“I think that’s why we’re all here. I’d rather have her angry at us, than Malfoy in her knickers. Not to mention a broken heart.” Charlie said.

“Can you not mention her knickers, if you please?” Arthur’s ears had turned that distinct shade of Weasley red.

“Well, you know that if she accepts Harry’s ring, it will be him in her knickers?” Ron couldn’t resist the dig. “There’s going to be someone in her…”

“Don’t say it,” Arthur interrupted. “Can’t you let me pretend that some of my children are innocent?”

“No.” Bill snorted like a pig. “Remember the stunts she pulled when Fleur and I got engaged? I’ve decided she has this coming.”

“What about her feelings,” Ron sneered.

“Yeah, well, it took Fleur a week to charm the green dye out of her skin that Ginny put into her face cream. She really brought this on herself.” Bill crossed his arms, a sly grin coming to his face.

“With all of us united against him, the sod doesn’t stand a chance.” Ron grinned back.

“Don’t underestimate Molly and Ginny on a united front.” Arthur warned.

“None of us have to live with either of them. So…” Fred smirked.

“How did you guys ever end up in Gryffindor?” Harry asked.

“I dunno. How did you, Mr.-Don’t-Put-Me-In-Slytherin?” George snickered.

“Arthur Weasley!” Molly shrieked. He cringed, mouthing the words along with her, “I sent you up there to keep them out of trouble, not jump into it.”

“Solidarity,” he whispered before heading out the door.

“That’s why I’m never getting married.” Ron turned up his nose.

“Tell that to Hermione.” Harry advised.

“Yeah, well, you’re the bright one that wants to marry my sister. Who do you think she’s going to sound like as soon as you put that ring on her finger? Maybe Malfoy deserves her.” Ron was faux serious.

“Hey, any of us would be lucky to have a woman like your mum.” Harry chided.

They were all silent for a moment.

“Maybe. But how do we get rid of that one who doesn’t deserve to be that lucky?”

“I have a plan.” Charlie was struck with inspiration. “The women have control of the kitchen. And most likely the house. But what about after dinner?”

“The Quidditch game.” Fred and George said in unison.

“Exactly.” Charlie agreed with a very Slytherin smile stealing over his features.

* * *

Ginny was wringing her hands in the kitchen as Molly stuffed three turkeys. “Mum, I knew this was a bad idea. I just…”

“If you love him, we will, dear. It’ll be fine.” She used her wand to direct the turkeys to finish stuffing themselves so that she could begin on the potatoes.

Ginny watched the dancing birds as they cheerfully stuffed themselves. There was something just not right about that. Even growing up as a witch, it was just disturbing. She’d tried to go vegetarian after the first holiday she’d spent helping her mother in the kitchen, but it hadn’t worked out. Ginny wasn’t a fan of green leafy things. Probably because her father and brothers had always indulged her…

Well, they could damn well indulge her now. And be decent to her dinner guest.

The birds were still cramming things into their…

“Stop staring at the turkeys or you know you won’t eat at dinner,” Molly told her.

“Mum, I don’t think I’m going to be able to eat anyway. I just know they are going to cock this up.”

“Ginevra!” she snapped.

“Well they are!”

“Did you talk that way when you went to dinner with his parents?”

“Merlin, I’m an adult. I know how to…”

“I know, you know how to behave. But did you?”

“Of course I did. But my behavior isn’t the issue just now. It’s them. Even Da was up there with them. I really thought he would be on my side.” Ginny pouted a bit.

“Dear, really. What can they do? Nothing in the house has been transfigured. The food is charmed so they can’t tamper with it. They haven’t been anywhere near the table, and I’ve checked to make sure none of the chair legs have been sawed. And Fleur has been on guard duty since I’ve been cooking.” Molly took the time to pat Ginny’s hand. “It’ll be fine.” Then her features hardened. “Or there will be Hell to pay.” She smiled sweetly again.

Ginny huffed and paced some more. What could they do, indeed? Her mind raced with all of the possibilities that Molly had mentioned and more. But she’d been dealing with her interfering brothers long enough to know they had to have some kind of angle.

When she’d brought Dean home, they’d hexed his soup to go up his nose. When she’d brought Colin home, even on a “friend-basis” Ron had said, “no offense” before cursing his spoon to beat him about the head. When she’d brought Marcus home, yes that had been a rebellious phase, they’d conned him into playing Quidditch and rather than playing they’d all just tackled him.

That was it. Quidditch.

Ha! There were going to have to get up a damn sight earlier in the morning to get one over on Ginny Weasley.

Percy came through the door just then. “Where are they? Do they know? Are they going to screw this up for me? I mean, you.”

“Everything is fine, Percy,” Ginny replied airily.

“What? How can it be fine?” Percy looked like he was about to have a meltdown.

“Dear, do sit down. Don’t upset your sister.”

“You always take her side.”

“Oh my Merlin, Percy. You are a grown man. I would have thought you’d want to support Ginny. Seeing as how the Malfoy boy is your boss.” Molly knew what to say to tighten his bolts, but she couldn’t help herself. She loved her son, she did. But sometimes…

“Mum. He is not a boy. Please call him Mr. Malfoy…”

“Now I know you’ve lost your sodding noggin’. I’m not calling anyone ‘Mr.’ anything in my own home. He is not the King of Siam, nor the Duke of Ottery St. Catchpole. He is here to court your sister.”

“And don’t say court,” Percy corrected, everything Molly said falling right out through the same ear it was supposed to go into.

“Percival!” Molly growled.

“What?” He looked at her, innocence on his face.

She was distinctly and vividly reminded of the day when he went through her cabinets and organized everything alphabetically, including things that didn’t even go in the cabinets. Which meant he’d had pans, paper, parsley, peaches, pork… It had taken her weeks to find everything; some of the food had spoiled. And he’d given her that same innocent look. He’d been six.

“Nothing, darling. Give your mum a hug.”

Percy was nothing if not dutiful. He hugged Molly and watched her for a moment. “You were thinking about the cabinets, again. Weren’t you?” He raised a proper brow at her. “You always do that when I frustrate you and then you ask for a hug.”

It was true. That was how she’d survived him. She just had to remember that he was who he was. He’d always been that way and it was just his nature. It was her job just to love him, not change him. She’d tried to keep that in mind with all of her children. But especially with Percy. He was so different than the rest of her brood.

“I suppose I was.” She smiled at him.

“I just want this to go well. I don’t want to get fired.”

“I know, dear. I know.” She grinned. “If you do, you can always come home.”

He snorted and made his way up to Ron’s room, though the boys met him on the way down.

“”You stay out of this kitchen!” Molly said when she heart footsteps on the stairs.

Ginny was suspiciously out of sight.

“Where’s Gin-bug?” Bill asked, cautiously.

“She’s around here somewhere. Probably getting ready for her gentleman.”

The boys sounded like a herd of nauseous yaks with all of their snorting.

“You will all behave or you will pay. Is that clear?” Molly demanded.

None of them could meet her stare and they all looked at their feet, including Harry.

“Good.” Then she softened her tone. “I made pumpkin cookies for you boys because I knew you would behave yourselves. They’re in the living room.” She smiled brightly at them.

The group stampeded like that same herd of yaks to get at Molly’s cookies.

Ron ended up eating Harry’s cookie because he couldn’t eat. He felt guilty for lying to Molly. Well, he hadn’t exactly lied. But he he’d taken the cookie in good faith. He sighed.

Maybe he should just talk to Ginny in private. Before the Icy Git got there.

It appeared to be too late, as a very loud knock sounded on the door.

“Ginny, would like to greet your guest?” Molly asked.

But Percy was already at the door.

“Thank you for coming Mr. Malfoy.”

“I’ve told you countless times, Percy. You can call me Draco.” He was at ease as he stepped through the door.

Which was actually quite impressive, considering. The whole wizarding world had heard stories about what it was like to ‘court’ the youngest Weasley. It was trial by fire.

* * *

Ginny was just now peeking out from around the corner. She wanted to see if he really was as relaxed and confident about meeting her family as he claimed. She fingered the ring that she’d slipped on her finger. The one she’d been hiding.

She felt a smidge guilty about keeping it a secret from everyone, but she just knew her brothers would try and sabotage this. All but Percy, but he had his own reasonings.

Ginny spotted the flowers in his hand. Oh, good move.

“These are for you, Mrs. Weasley. Thank you for having me in your home.”

She watched as her mum blushed and fussed over his pretty manners.

Score one for Draco.

Then she noticed he had something under his arm. A box of some sort.

“Hello, Mr. Weasley.” Draco took her father’s hand and shook it, then handed him the box. “I heard you have a bit of an interest in these.”

Oh, he hadn’t! But he had. He’d brought her father muggle cigars.

Her father’s eyes lit up.

“Not in the house, Arthur,” Molly admonished.

“Never in the house, Molly,” he said, but gave Draco a conspiratorial wink.

Could he have won them over that easily?

“If you brought gifts, I hope you brought something for everyone,” Ron sniped.

“Oh, I did, Wea… Ron.” Draco smirked. He’d been about to call him ‘weasel.’ But that would have been insulting her whole family.

“And what would that be?” Harry walked up behind Ron.

Bloody sodding shite! Ginny hadn’t known that Harry was going to be here.

“My presence, of course.” Draco actually looked serious.

Ginny decided that was her cue to enter.

And when she did, Draco ceased to notice anyone else in the room. His eyes were only for her.

He took her hand, oblivious to the growling red faces in the room. Draco was even so bold as to kiss her very properly on the cheek.

“Dinner smells delicious.” Draco offered his most dazzling smile to Molly.

“I don’t think I’m hungry,” Ron said as he glared at Draco.

“Yes, you are.” Ginny corrected, and she smiled so big she thought her face was going to crack. She made it a point to walk past him and stomp on his foot as she went.

* * *

“So, Draco. How is the Ministry treating you?” Arthur asked after swallowing a mouthful of turkey.

“Very well, thank you. I know you’ve been missed since your retirement,” Draco replied.

Ginny watched the exchange with butterflies in her stomach. She really thought she was going to throw up. Each one of her brothers looked tight and coiled, like vipers just waiting for the most opportune moment to strike.

Even Harry. He was just shoveling food down this throat, Ginny was fairly sure he couldn’t even taste it. Or wasn’t going to be able to digest it, for that matter. He was like a steam shovel, just kept cramming more into his mouth while he stared at Draco.

“And Lucius? Is he enjoying his retirement?” Arthur returned, seeing the need to keep conversation going.

“He’s as well as can be expected. He never got over that croup he picked up when he was in Azkaban and then the stroke. Grumpy old bastard, if I do say so myself.” He smirked.

“And your mum, dear. How is Narcissa?” Molly asked, as if she actually had an interest, bless her.

“Actually, she would like to have you and Arthur for tea next week. Lucius will be otherwise occupied, do excuse him.”

Ginny still felt like she was going to hurl. The more proper they all were, the sicker she felt. She just wanted it to be over with.

And she knew she had to at least tell her parents that she had accepted Draco’s proposal before they went to tea. Narcissa already knew. She was thrilled. Lucius had growled something about purebloods and money, but had swatted half-heartedly at her arse. He’d been rather hard to understand since the stroke.

Ginny secretly thought he rather enjoyed not being held accountable for his actions; just blamed it on the stroke. But he seemed to be in possession of his mental faculties.

She looked around the table at all of the tight faces and then back to Draco and he seemed practically oblivious. Or he just didn’t care, which was possible. Hell, it was likely.

Harry stood up. “Ginny, I can’t let this go any farther.”

Oh Merlin, Cerdiwyn and Isis. Ginny stole a look at Draco.

He had leaned back in his chair and was smirking like he was the devil himself. “Really, Potter?” He barely managed it without a laugh.

Harry pushed out his chair and strode purposefully over to Ginny.

Then, he made the grand gesture. Down on his knees, pulling out the box…

He wasn’t. He couldn’t. He-oh-my-Merlin-did!

And Draco, he didn’t say a word. Ginny’s mouth was open, but nothing was coming out. Could have been some sort of strangled sound, but nothing else. Nothing intelligible.

She glared at him, waiting for him to say something.

“Never let it be said that I tried to speak for you.” They’d had this argument more than once. When he tried to order for her in restaurants, when he tried to take her shopping, when he… He’d finally learned his lesson. Or had chosen to, right here, right now.

Because it amused the hell out of him.

Ginny was finally able to close her mouth. “Harry, you never told me you felt that way. Not since you broke up with me in seventh year, for my own good.”

Harry was all seriousness. “Well, I’m telling you now.”

“Draco and I are engaged.”

Ron dropped his glass. Fleur squealed. Arthur choked on a particularly big bite of turkey, and the twins took turns beating him on the back. Which really, could have been doing more harm than good. Molly held out her arms to give Ginny a hug. Charlie smirked, Percy smiled and Bill, well, he remained carefully silent. And Harry died.

Okay, so, he didn’t really die. But all the color drained from his face and he seemed to have frozen to that exact spot, like Ginny’s words were some sort of verbal gorgon that turned him to stone.

“I’m sorry, Harry. You’re still my friend…”

“Oh, the friend zone.” George said.

“That’s ugly.” Fred returned.

“Shut it, both of you!” Ginny snapped.

Harry was still down on one knee.

“You should have said something.” Ginny frowned at him.

He looked at her, then back at Malfoy. “No, I shouldn’t have. Not then and not now.” Harry was beyond humiliated.

“I don’t know what else to say.” Ginny whispered.

“Say you don’t love him. Say it was all a mistake.” Harry forged ahead, though he had to know the way was blocked.

“You know,” Ron turned to Draco, disgusted at this new turn of events. “You’re being awfully calm about this.”

Draco seemed to consider for a moment. “I have nothing to be upset about.”

“Oh, see. I knew it. This is just something else so Ginny can prove to us all that she’s an independent witch, blah blah blah.” Ron sniggered. “She’s not going to marry this bastard.”

“Don’t insult my mother.” Draco said quietly.

“He called you a bastard, not her.” Harry rolled his eyes as he interjected, coming to Ron’s defense.

“By calling me a bastard, you implied that she’s a whore.”

“See what…” Ron began, but broke when Ginny pulled her wand out.

“Enough! You boys go outside and work off some of this meal so you can have pie. And play nice!” Molly demanded. “Ginny, you help me with the dishes.”

The boys began filing out and Harry, he was still there, on his knees. Fred and George, ever the devil’s advocates, stopped to invite Draco out.

“You know, Quidditch is an after feast must in this house. And since you are going to be family…” They each grinned a not so wholesome look.

“Sounds grand,” Draco said coolly and rose from the table to follow them out.

“Ronald. Come talk to your mum first.” Molly commanded.

Ron trudged over to Molly. The woman still made him feel like he was in short pants. He’d been sure that would change when he’d graduated from Hogwarts. No such luck.

“Ronald,”

“Don’t call me that.”

She sighed heavily. “Ron, I want you to make Draco feel welcome. To dinner and to this family.”

“I don’t know how.” He was churlish.

He cast a glance back to Harry who had finally managed to sit forlornly in a chair.

“Yes you do. Do it your own way.”

“My way’s not very sportsmanlike.” Ron offered.

“It had better be. For your sister’s sake.” Molly watched him closely. “For your sake.”

He nodded and grumbled something and made his way outside.

Ginny was still watching everything in slow motion. She felt like her brain had just leaked out of her ear and was in a little puddle on the floor.

“Harry, I’m sorry.”

He just waved her off. He wouldn’t look at her. He wouldn’t…

“But I can’t be sorry for loving him,” she began.

“You go make sure that your brothers aren’t trying to kill him. Remember Marcus?” Molly nudged Ginny toward the door and away from Harry.

“Well, if they do, all of their brooms have been hexed. So good luck with that.”

“Oh, Merlin’s arse, you did NOT? You did.” Molly gasped. “They behaved themselves through dinner and you…”

“I just beat them to it. It’s your turn to remember Marcus.”

They’d beaten the ever loving hell out of that poor boy. Quidditch indeed. That was the only other time they’d ever managed to make it through dinner without flinging hexes. Molly huffed. “Well, let me see to Harry. I think he needs some time, dear.”

Looking at Harry, Ginny had to agree that was best. She was sorry that she hurt him, but she couldn’t be sorry for what she had with Draco.

Draco. He’d been amazingly calm and correct through this whole thing. It actually gave her hope.

Until she opened the door and saw all of the boys lying on their arses, each of them rubbing a different body part and Draco, still mysteriously airborne, watching the debacle from on high.

“Damnedest thing, Gin. Their brooms dumped them all at once. Like they were hexed or something.” Draco said, as if he were actually confused.

“That’s because they were.” Ginny supplied.

“Oy! Look how his Slytherin is rubbing off on her.” Ron growled.

Draco gave Ginny a look that said something else was going to be rubbing off on her directly.

“I was sure that wasn’t something you’d want to hear about, Ronniekins. What with all that Slytherin rubbing…”

“That’s enough of that, my Gin-bug.” Arthur intervened from his perch on garden bench.

“Sorry, Da. But you were up there plotting with them.” She put her hands on her hips.

“You’re just my little girl…”

“Who is going to happily be Mrs. Malfoy. We’ve been engaged for months. I knew something terrible would happen…”

Draco brought his broom to the ground and stepped over the groaning brood of Weasley bodies as he made his way to Ginny.

“I’d wanted to do it properly and ask you for her hand, but she wouldn’t hear of it.” Draco said.

“That’s very un-Slytherin of you, Draco.”

“Not really. It would further my purpose if you and Molly were both on my side.” Draco smirked.

“Should have seen that coming.” Arthur acknowledged.

Molly came through the door just then. “I see they couldn’t behave themselves.”

“You knew about this?” Arthur asked.

“Not until right before Ginny came outside. It was already too late by then.” She sighed. “The boys did make their own beds. So it looks as if they must lie in them.”

“Doesn’t that look painful?” He looked at Ginny, his brow furrowed.

“It does, at that. But I think what they had in mind for Draco would have been just as ugly. Serves them right. Maybe next time, they will play nice.” Ginny harrumphed.

“Remember when they all talked Ron into trying to fly without a broom? They’ve taken worse spills. They’ll be fine.” Molly assured Arthur.

“She has a mean bat-bogey hex, this one,” Draco grinned slyly.

“Ginevra!” Molly admonished. “You’ve hexed him?”

“Certainly.” She was rather proud of herself. “Don’t tell me you’ve never hexed Da. Fred and George had to get it from somewhere.”

“Maybe once or twice.” Molly shared a smile with her husband.

“How’s Harry?” he asked, looking away from his wife.

“He’s gone to lick his wounds,” Molly said.

“If family dinners are always like this, the holidays should be interesting,” Draco said dryly.

“So you’re coming back?” Ginny giggled.

“I think I might just have a reason.” He turned to look at the fallen Weasleys. “Or two.”

Draco took Ginny into his arms.

Molly and Arthur went back into the house.

And as he kissed his bride-to-be, another collective groan was heard from the still motionless group on the field.

ORIGINAL REQUESTION:
BRIEFLY describe what you’d like to recieve: I've always wanted to see a *realistic* portrayal of the night Ginny finally/officially brings Draco to a Weasley family dinner. Harry would be present as well, of course.
The tone/mood of the fic: any
A theme/element/line of dialogue/object you want in your fic: "My way's not very sportsman-like."
Canon or AU? Cannon-esque (as cannon as the ship can be while still being a true ship)
Rating of the fic you want: Teen or above
Deal breakers (what don’t you want): Harry shouldn't have a date or even a "replacement" Ginny in the background.