I've been abandonded
Pairing: Kind of Changmin/Jaejoong
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Angst
Summary: Jaejoong feels like he's been abandoned by Changmin one too many times
“It just feels like I’ve been abandoned.”
“You haven’t been abandoned.”
“I know, but it feels like it.”
Yunho pat Jaejoong’s back in the awkward way a friend does when he doesn’t know how to comfort the other. Then he gave up on that and hugged Jaejoong from behind. After a great big Yunnie bear hug, he got on his hands and knees and asked for Jaejoong’s forgiveness.
“I’m sorry, I don’t really know what happened, but I didn’t want this to happen.”
“Nobody wanted this to happen, but our lifestyles are too different.”
“I know.”
But in reality, Yunho wasn’t there saying any of those things, and Jaejoong was really just crying into his pillows over something that didn’t even matter. Sure, he had planned to go out with his friends, just him, Yunho, and Changmin. Sure, he could have still gone instead of acting like a baby, but this had happened one too many times for him to try anymore.
“Just drop me off at my house and meet us there.”
“A better idea, why don’t we go to lunch before you change?”
No response. So Jaejoong drove the rest of the way home silently thinking that he was done with this.
He could talk about his feelings with Yunho. He understood, he gave feedback, he had feelings too. They shared things in a deep way that only lovers would, if they were lovers, which they couldn’t be because Yunho had a loving girlfriend. Yunho loved her too. But whenever Yunho had a problem with his father, it was Jaejoong he talked to, not Changmin. Maybe he did talk to Changmin too.
Jaejoong and Changmin aren’t good at communicating.
The previous weekend when he had been abandoned under different circumstances (though leaving him with the same stark feelings of loneliness) Jaejoong had explicitly texted I hate you to the boy. The message was the blunt truth of Jaejoong’s feelings but in their relationship it was a simple plea of jealousy. I’m so jealous that you went without me.
You went without me.
“It sucks that your parents are taking you because of the rain, Changmin.”
“I mean, I really want to see H.O.T too, Changmin.”
“Changmin, there will be other days.”
Instead of sucking it up and accepting that rain fucking happens, the boy threw a fit and made his parents take him anyway, without Jaejoong. And Jaejoong threw his phone at the wall from a video message of Infinite performing The Chaser and a picture of H.O.T’s lead singer gracing the stage in a suit and classy sunglasses.
“Yunho keeps texting me about the festival.”
“Tell him to GTFO. I’ll be going there after this.”
“Hey, take me with you.”
“Okay.”
There were so many things he wanted to say to Changmin. So many things he would feel entirely comfortable telling Yunho, even though Yunho had been part of the problem that day. Technically, Yunho abandoned him first, but it was so minor and Jaejoong kind of set himself up for it.
“I want to get lunch and then go to mall for some new shoes.”
“Well, I do want to eat lunch with you, but I don’t really want to go.”
Correction, I’m not allowed to go.
“Aha, that’s fine; I’ll just go with Changmin.”
Changmin likes to dress people up in what he calls fashion and control what people put on their body. Not in a fashionista way, but in the way someone who thinks they are superior looks down on others. Shopping with Changmin, even just for shoes, means having the man pick things out for you because obviously you have no sense for these things.
Jaejoong couldn’t stand that part of him.
That bratty attitude of his.
That attitude that makes him act like he can get whatever wants.
Jaejoong hates to give people what they want.
When Changmin wants something, he does aegyo because Jaejoong finds it so ridiculous to see a grown man beg for things and hits him. It worked only once before it got annoying.
Changmin is spoiled.
He’s the first child and only son.
His parents are both on their second marriage and want to make this work.
Changmin is spoiled.
Jaejoong was adopted to carry on the family name.
He’s the youngest of a protective kin.
Jaejoong is sheltered beyond belief.
So here Jaejoong was, crying into his pillow like an emotional girl while his parents were at some event with people he’d never even heard of. Nothing fancy, but his mother said they’d never been to the host’s house so they had to go. He felt so alone. All he wanted to do was call Yunho and complain about every little thing.
How he wasn’t going to get an award just because he took English over Mandarin like almost every other kid in the university. Like Yunho. He kept getting nagged daily about becoming an engineer by his father when all he wanted to do was tell people about the current trends.
And here is fucking Changmin.
Stupid Changmin only getting nagged because he’s failing, not because he should be at the top of their class. Changmin doing something every weekend because his parents let him do whatever they wanted. Changmin screwing around with them and leeching off their goodwill because he’s too lazy to get his own freaking driver’s license. Changmin being faced with one challenge and giving up, making Jaejoong pick up the broken pieces of whatever he bitched about that day. Changmin gossiping about things that Jaejoong probably hated more than he hated Changmin’s attitude.
Changmin is spoiled.
Changmin is insensitive.
Changmin is a moocher.
Changmin doesn’t care.
Changmin doesn’t try.
Changmin doesn’t know.
Jaejoong won’t tell him how he feels. He’ll cry into his pillows about things that aren’t even real. Then he’ll fall asleep. In the morning Changmin will text him about something that Jaejoong doesn’t care about and get a reply expressing that lack of interest. Life will go back to how it was before, but Jaejoong will still feel a little lonely inside as things start to slowly fall apart for him and he doesn’t know which things to hold onto.
How does one stop from having a mental breakdown?
“It just feels like I’ve been abandoned.”
“You haven’t been abandoned.”
“I know, but it feels like it.”
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Angst
Summary: Jaejoong feels like he's been abandoned by Changmin one too many times
“It just feels like I’ve been abandoned.”
“You haven’t been abandoned.”
“I know, but it feels like it.”
Yunho pat Jaejoong’s back in the awkward way a friend does when he doesn’t know how to comfort the other. Then he gave up on that and hugged Jaejoong from behind. After a great big Yunnie bear hug, he got on his hands and knees and asked for Jaejoong’s forgiveness.
“I’m sorry, I don’t really know what happened, but I didn’t want this to happen.”
“Nobody wanted this to happen, but our lifestyles are too different.”
“I know.”
But in reality, Yunho wasn’t there saying any of those things, and Jaejoong was really just crying into his pillows over something that didn’t even matter. Sure, he had planned to go out with his friends, just him, Yunho, and Changmin. Sure, he could have still gone instead of acting like a baby, but this had happened one too many times for him to try anymore.
“Just drop me off at my house and meet us there.”
“A better idea, why don’t we go to lunch before you change?”
No response. So Jaejoong drove the rest of the way home silently thinking that he was done with this.
He could talk about his feelings with Yunho. He understood, he gave feedback, he had feelings too. They shared things in a deep way that only lovers would, if they were lovers, which they couldn’t be because Yunho had a loving girlfriend. Yunho loved her too. But whenever Yunho had a problem with his father, it was Jaejoong he talked to, not Changmin. Maybe he did talk to Changmin too.
Jaejoong and Changmin aren’t good at communicating.
The previous weekend when he had been abandoned under different circumstances (though leaving him with the same stark feelings of loneliness) Jaejoong had explicitly texted I hate you to the boy. The message was the blunt truth of Jaejoong’s feelings but in their relationship it was a simple plea of jealousy. I’m so jealous that you went without me.
You went without me.
“It sucks that your parents are taking you because of the rain, Changmin.”
“I mean, I really want to see H.O.T too, Changmin.”
“Changmin, there will be other days.”
Instead of sucking it up and accepting that rain fucking happens, the boy threw a fit and made his parents take him anyway, without Jaejoong. And Jaejoong threw his phone at the wall from a video message of Infinite performing The Chaser and a picture of H.O.T’s lead singer gracing the stage in a suit and classy sunglasses.
“Yunho keeps texting me about the festival.”
“Tell him to GTFO. I’ll be going there after this.”
“Hey, take me with you.”
“Okay.”
There were so many things he wanted to say to Changmin. So many things he would feel entirely comfortable telling Yunho, even though Yunho had been part of the problem that day. Technically, Yunho abandoned him first, but it was so minor and Jaejoong kind of set himself up for it.
“I want to get lunch and then go to mall for some new shoes.”
“Well, I do want to eat lunch with you, but I don’t really want to go.”
Correction, I’m not allowed to go.
“Aha, that’s fine; I’ll just go with Changmin.”
Changmin likes to dress people up in what he calls fashion and control what people put on their body. Not in a fashionista way, but in the way someone who thinks they are superior looks down on others. Shopping with Changmin, even just for shoes, means having the man pick things out for you because obviously you have no sense for these things.
Jaejoong couldn’t stand that part of him.
That bratty attitude of his.
That attitude that makes him act like he can get whatever wants.
Jaejoong hates to give people what they want.
When Changmin wants something, he does aegyo because Jaejoong finds it so ridiculous to see a grown man beg for things and hits him. It worked only once before it got annoying.
Changmin is spoiled.
He’s the first child and only son.
His parents are both on their second marriage and want to make this work.
Changmin is spoiled.
Jaejoong was adopted to carry on the family name.
He’s the youngest of a protective kin.
Jaejoong is sheltered beyond belief.
So here Jaejoong was, crying into his pillow like an emotional girl while his parents were at some event with people he’d never even heard of. Nothing fancy, but his mother said they’d never been to the host’s house so they had to go. He felt so alone. All he wanted to do was call Yunho and complain about every little thing.
How he wasn’t going to get an award just because he took English over Mandarin like almost every other kid in the university. Like Yunho. He kept getting nagged daily about becoming an engineer by his father when all he wanted to do was tell people about the current trends.
And here is fucking Changmin.
Stupid Changmin only getting nagged because he’s failing, not because he should be at the top of their class. Changmin doing something every weekend because his parents let him do whatever they wanted. Changmin screwing around with them and leeching off their goodwill because he’s too lazy to get his own freaking driver’s license. Changmin being faced with one challenge and giving up, making Jaejoong pick up the broken pieces of whatever he bitched about that day. Changmin gossiping about things that Jaejoong probably hated more than he hated Changmin’s attitude.
Changmin is spoiled.
Changmin is insensitive.
Changmin is a moocher.
Changmin doesn’t care.
Changmin doesn’t try.
Changmin doesn’t know.
Jaejoong won’t tell him how he feels. He’ll cry into his pillows about things that aren’t even real. Then he’ll fall asleep. In the morning Changmin will text him about something that Jaejoong doesn’t care about and get a reply expressing that lack of interest. Life will go back to how it was before, but Jaejoong will still feel a little lonely inside as things start to slowly fall apart for him and he doesn’t know which things to hold onto.
How does one stop from having a mental breakdown?
“It just feels like I’ve been abandoned.”
“You haven’t been abandoned.”
“I know, but it feels like it.”