lie!
title: The Art Of Lying (Around)
word count: 1685
rating: PG; JSquared
disclaimer: Jensen and Jared own each other themselves. If they were mine, I've died happy.
warning: pointless piece of schmoop. the accompanying song implies what it implies. *evil smirk*
accompanying song: I Wanna Be Bad by Willa Ford
summary: Jared and Jensen got bored and decided to psychoanalyze Sam and Dean's characters instead of sexing. You've been warned. :)
The Art of Lying (Around)
“Man,” Jared felt Jensen exhaled loudly and imagined him puckering those lips of his. “This sucks beans.”
“Sucks beans?” Jared echoed, stifling a chuckle.
“I’m bored,” Jensen said next, ignoring him. “I’m beyond bored.”
Jared was silent, savoring the low rumble of Jensen’s voice, realizing how much he loves to say “beyond”. They were sprawled with their heads next to each other, temples touching, in opposite directions. The glass coffee table was moved but Jared was still surprised that one fully grown man and a giant could fit on the floor of Jensen’s living area, lying subsequent to each other like this. Jensen was absently flapping his arms, making a snow angel imprint on the white shaggy carpet. Jared was secretly jealous; he wanted a carpet just like this one but his damn dogs would shred it into ribbons for sure. But he loves his dogs so whatever. Who needs a shaggy living room carpet when you can have two massive-
“Let’s do something fun!” Jensen exclaimed out of nowhere.
Jared was vaguely aware of Jensen sitting up from his sprawled position and looked up. Jensen was sitting cross-legged in his Reel Big Fish vintage concert T-shirt and most relaxed-fit jeans, hair sticking up everywhere making him look about seven. Jared refused to dwell on how adorable that was.
Jared settled back down, mumbling. “What do you have in mind?”
“I don’t know,” Jensen rolled his shoulder. “Talk?”
“Yeah,” Jared snorted. “Because we’ve never done that before.”
“Well,” Jensen grinned, “there are loads of things that we haven’t. You wanna?”
Jared sat up now, six-foot-eternity frame folded awkwardly. He wasn’t born to sit cross-legged on the floor. “Dude. Your maid is here.”
“So?”
“I thought you’re the shy one in this relationship,” Jared frowned softly.
Jensen grinned. “What relationship?”
The cushion Jared tossed hit Jensen on the chest as he lie back down onto the carpet. “Jerk.”
Jensen was laughing as he followed suit, taking his previous spot. He lifted his left arm just as Jared did the same and admired the view of the identical silver bands on their ring fingers. Silent moments lapsed.
“You know what I’ve been thinking?” Jensen murmured, head lolling to the side and cheek bumping into Jared’s.
“Hmm?”
“Sam and Dean should give each other nicknames and call each other with it. Because, seriously, one of these days somebody at the motels would realize that the names they use on each other don’t match the one on the credit cards.”
“They’re fictional characters, you idiot. Kripke can do anything, even make the motel people stupid enough not to notice,” Jared said. “But that’s quite a smart notion.”
“You’re the king of oxymorons, you know that?” Jensen chuckled.
“So what nickname do you want to give to Sam?”
“I guess something that reminds Dean of how he looks.”
“And that would be?”
There was a long, silent moment. Then, “Mandy Moore,” Jensen said, nodding. Jared’s jaw was dropping open when Jensen tsked. “Wait. No. That’s you.”
“I remind you of Mandy Moore?” Jared asked incredulously. “So, what, you have a giant crush on her or something?”
“No,” Jensen answered curtly, earning a hard bump of the side of the head. “She’s just pretty like you.”
Jared sighed. “I guess we have to go with the obvious.”
“Puppy,” Jensen declared, reaching out and ruffling Jared’s messy hair. “What is Sam going to call Dean?”
Jared didn’t need a long time to figure it out. “Duck,” he said, grinning widely.
“What? Why?” Jensen turned to peer at Jared.
“Because of this,” Jared pouted his lips and jutted them out as far as he could, laughing.
Jensen growled and nipped at Jared’s ear playfully. “Okay. So that settles that. What have you ever wondered about those boys?”
Jared hummed a bit, mulling. “Why do you think Duck likes to get the bed nearest to the door?”
“Because,” Jensen grinned, “Puppy has a tiny bladder and have to have the one near the bathroom or he’d wet the bed.”
Jared laughed. “I think it’s because Puppy couldn’t sleep with the sound of traffics from outside. And Duck knows it and it’s his habit to sleep at the perimeter to guard over Puppy because Duckie loves his Puppy.”
Jensen snorted at the tone of taunt in Jared’s voice. “I think Duck wakes up every day before dawn to run around the block and therefore have to have the one nearest to the door, so as not to wake Puppy who’s such a light sleeper, we might as well call him Pussy.”
“Yeah, right. Duck hates mornings.”
“Where do you think he get that hard-ridged body of his then?”
“Dude,” Jared laughed, shifting to look at Jensen. “That’s your doing.”
“Whatever,” Jensen smirked. “You know you love me, right?” he winked and turned to face Jared.
Jared smiled wide. “As a matter of fact, I do,” he winked right back and shifted onto his elbow to plant a soft, lingering kiss on Jensen’s perfect mouth.
After what felt like an eternity, they settled back down, both with dopey smiles on their faces. Jensen’s maid worked wordlessly in the background, oblivious of their antics. Besides, she thought they make the cutest couple in world history.
“So, everybody have secrets, right?” Jensen said suddenly.
“First off, you’re very random,” Jared pointed out. “And I’m not going to tell you any of my secrets.”
“I know them all already. Even those that even you don’t know,” Jensen chuckled. “I was just wondering what Duck’s deepest secret is. His quirk or something.”
“Yeah, well. I know all of yours as well,” Jared countered. “And Duck? He kisses the Impala good night every single night.”
“That’s not so bad,” Jensen grinned.
“Okay. So what’s Puppy’s?”
“When Duck’s in the shower or when he’s left alone in the motel room,” Jensen narrated, lips tilting in an impish smirk. “Puppy entertains himself…by singing Willa Ford’s I Wanna Be Bad and dances.”
Jared smiled, amused, dimples pressing deep. “Really?”
“Dude,” Jensen chortled, eyes set on the plaster ceiling. “I could totally picture you shimmy those hips of yours. Woot!” he whistled.
“You’re one kinky bastard, you know that?”
“Yeah, well. You’re even kinkier for loving me anyway,” Jensen replied smugly.
Jared laughed his trademark guffaw, propped himself up and smooched Jensen on the forehead before trailing down to his lips, jaw then neck. Jensen’s mobile chose that moment to ring, vibrating on the couch to the tune of Motley Crue’s Bastard. He assigned the tune to one person only.
“Oh,” Jensen groaned, arching up to reach for the phone. “I am going to kill him.”
“Jenny!” Rosenbaum’s annoying voice hollered through the earpiece. “What’cha doing? I didn’t interrupt any sexing, did I?”
You did! Jensen wanted to yell but decided against it. It’ll rile Rosenbaum even more. “Nothing. Just hanging around the house with my fiancée.”
“Fiancé!” Jared yelled in the background and Rosenbaum chortled.
“I know how to decide,” he said and Jensen could imagine him bobbing his eyebrows.
“Forget it, Mike,” Jensen snapped. “I’m not going to tell you who proposed.”
“Whatever, Mrs. Padalecki,” Rosenbaum snickered. “Tom’s having a barbecue or luau or something at his place tonight. You lovebirds coming or what?”
“I’m warning you, Rosenbaum. If it turns out to be a surprise engagement party, you and Welling would be stuck as ushers at the wedding.”
“Whoa, whoa. You mean you intended to make Tommy and I your best men?” Rosenbaum teased. “I’m so honoured.”
“Jared’s best man’s going to be Chad,” Jensen replied, smirking, knowing what effect it would have on Rosenbaum. Jared slapped him playfully on the chest, smirking along.
“Pick Tom,” Rosenbaum promptly offered. “I’d be the ring bearer.”
“Sorry, man,” Jensen sighed dramatically, with feigned pity. “Those spots are taken. By Harley and Sadie.”
“Dogs? You want dogs to bring you your wedding rings?”
“Hey. Those two is family,” Jensen responded and smiled at the look of Jared’s touched face.
Rosenbaum laughed. “The Padalecki household, completed. We could add you guys into a Happy Family deck.”
“Goodbye, Mike. Make sure you have your penguin-tailed tux ready for the waitressing job at our wedding,” Jensen replied, snapping his mobile shut.
“So, Tom’s tonight?” Jared wondered out loud, lounging on the couch and flipping through tv channels.
“How moronic do those two think I am? I’m sure it’s a ploy for a stupid engagement party where they’d show videos of us together and give speeches about how they think we’re perfect together and stuffs.”
“And that’s bad because?”
“Then later in the night they’d popped in a porn DVD and lounge around the living room and drink beer and smoke pot. And knowing those dickheads, it’d be gay porn, no less.”
Jared was silent a while, then sighed heavily. “It’ll be not much different if we let Chad handle it. Could be even worse.”
“You want to plan it ourselves?”
Jared shook his head.
“You want a party at all?” Jensen asked, lifting an eyebrow.
Jared shook his head again.
“So?”
Jared grinned. “I want a pre-wedding honeymoon.”
“There’s no such thing, Jared,” Jensen smiled earnestly.
“Of course there is,” Jared insisted, flashing Sam’s trademark puppy dog eyes.
“Fine,” Jensen sighed, flopping onto the couch next to Jared as if he dreaded the idea. As if he didn’t thought of the same thing himself.
“Do you think Mike knows?”
“About what?”
“About neither of us actually proposed?”
“They wouldn’t believe even if we tell them,” Jensen shrugged, leaning in on Jared’s body.
“Jen, buying these identical rings might be the best idea you’ve ever come up with,” Jared smiled and kissed Jensen on the side of his head, remembering their trip last week.
Jensen had picked out a set of rings and they were trying them on when he turned to Jared and said, “So, I guess we’re getting married, then?”
And what else could Jared say but “Okay.”?
Jensen smiled secretly. He wouldn’t call it a proposal but it did get him what he wanted most in the world. And he was okay with that.
Beyond okay.
you are cordially invited to the ackles-padalecki wedding >>>
word count: 1685
rating: PG; JSquared
disclaimer: Jensen and Jared own each other themselves. If they were mine, I've died happy.
warning: pointless piece of schmoop. the accompanying song implies what it implies. *evil smirk*
accompanying song: I Wanna Be Bad by Willa Ford
summary: Jared and Jensen got bored and decided to psychoanalyze Sam and Dean's characters instead of sexing. You've been warned. :)
The Art of Lying (Around)
“Man,” Jared felt Jensen exhaled loudly and imagined him puckering those lips of his. “This sucks beans.”
“Sucks beans?” Jared echoed, stifling a chuckle.
“I’m bored,” Jensen said next, ignoring him. “I’m beyond bored.”
Jared was silent, savoring the low rumble of Jensen’s voice, realizing how much he loves to say “beyond”. They were sprawled with their heads next to each other, temples touching, in opposite directions. The glass coffee table was moved but Jared was still surprised that one fully grown man and a giant could fit on the floor of Jensen’s living area, lying subsequent to each other like this. Jensen was absently flapping his arms, making a snow angel imprint on the white shaggy carpet. Jared was secretly jealous; he wanted a carpet just like this one but his damn dogs would shred it into ribbons for sure. But he loves his dogs so whatever. Who needs a shaggy living room carpet when you can have two massive-
“Let’s do something fun!” Jensen exclaimed out of nowhere.
Jared was vaguely aware of Jensen sitting up from his sprawled position and looked up. Jensen was sitting cross-legged in his Reel Big Fish vintage concert T-shirt and most relaxed-fit jeans, hair sticking up everywhere making him look about seven. Jared refused to dwell on how adorable that was.
Jared settled back down, mumbling. “What do you have in mind?”
“I don’t know,” Jensen rolled his shoulder. “Talk?”
“Yeah,” Jared snorted. “Because we’ve never done that before.”
“Well,” Jensen grinned, “there are loads of things that we haven’t. You wanna?”
Jared sat up now, six-foot-eternity frame folded awkwardly. He wasn’t born to sit cross-legged on the floor. “Dude. Your maid is here.”
“So?”
“I thought you’re the shy one in this relationship,” Jared frowned softly.
Jensen grinned. “What relationship?”
The cushion Jared tossed hit Jensen on the chest as he lie back down onto the carpet. “Jerk.”
Jensen was laughing as he followed suit, taking his previous spot. He lifted his left arm just as Jared did the same and admired the view of the identical silver bands on their ring fingers. Silent moments lapsed.
“You know what I’ve been thinking?” Jensen murmured, head lolling to the side and cheek bumping into Jared’s.
“Hmm?”
“Sam and Dean should give each other nicknames and call each other with it. Because, seriously, one of these days somebody at the motels would realize that the names they use on each other don’t match the one on the credit cards.”
“They’re fictional characters, you idiot. Kripke can do anything, even make the motel people stupid enough not to notice,” Jared said. “But that’s quite a smart notion.”
“You’re the king of oxymorons, you know that?” Jensen chuckled.
“So what nickname do you want to give to Sam?”
“I guess something that reminds Dean of how he looks.”
“And that would be?”
There was a long, silent moment. Then, “Mandy Moore,” Jensen said, nodding. Jared’s jaw was dropping open when Jensen tsked. “Wait. No. That’s you.”
“I remind you of Mandy Moore?” Jared asked incredulously. “So, what, you have a giant crush on her or something?”
“No,” Jensen answered curtly, earning a hard bump of the side of the head. “She’s just pretty like you.”
Jared sighed. “I guess we have to go with the obvious.”
“Puppy,” Jensen declared, reaching out and ruffling Jared’s messy hair. “What is Sam going to call Dean?”
Jared didn’t need a long time to figure it out. “Duck,” he said, grinning widely.
“What? Why?” Jensen turned to peer at Jared.
“Because of this,” Jared pouted his lips and jutted them out as far as he could, laughing.
Jensen growled and nipped at Jared’s ear playfully. “Okay. So that settles that. What have you ever wondered about those boys?”
Jared hummed a bit, mulling. “Why do you think Duck likes to get the bed nearest to the door?”
“Because,” Jensen grinned, “Puppy has a tiny bladder and have to have the one near the bathroom or he’d wet the bed.”
Jared laughed. “I think it’s because Puppy couldn’t sleep with the sound of traffics from outside. And Duck knows it and it’s his habit to sleep at the perimeter to guard over Puppy because Duckie loves his Puppy.”
Jensen snorted at the tone of taunt in Jared’s voice. “I think Duck wakes up every day before dawn to run around the block and therefore have to have the one nearest to the door, so as not to wake Puppy who’s such a light sleeper, we might as well call him Pussy.”
“Yeah, right. Duck hates mornings.”
“Where do you think he get that hard-ridged body of his then?”
“Dude,” Jared laughed, shifting to look at Jensen. “That’s your doing.”
“Whatever,” Jensen smirked. “You know you love me, right?” he winked and turned to face Jared.
Jared smiled wide. “As a matter of fact, I do,” he winked right back and shifted onto his elbow to plant a soft, lingering kiss on Jensen’s perfect mouth.
After what felt like an eternity, they settled back down, both with dopey smiles on their faces. Jensen’s maid worked wordlessly in the background, oblivious of their antics. Besides, she thought they make the cutest couple in world history.
“So, everybody have secrets, right?” Jensen said suddenly.
“First off, you’re very random,” Jared pointed out. “And I’m not going to tell you any of my secrets.”
“I know them all already. Even those that even you don’t know,” Jensen chuckled. “I was just wondering what Duck’s deepest secret is. His quirk or something.”
“Yeah, well. I know all of yours as well,” Jared countered. “And Duck? He kisses the Impala good night every single night.”
“That’s not so bad,” Jensen grinned.
“Okay. So what’s Puppy’s?”
“When Duck’s in the shower or when he’s left alone in the motel room,” Jensen narrated, lips tilting in an impish smirk. “Puppy entertains himself…by singing Willa Ford’s I Wanna Be Bad and dances.”
Jared smiled, amused, dimples pressing deep. “Really?”
“Dude,” Jensen chortled, eyes set on the plaster ceiling. “I could totally picture you shimmy those hips of yours. Woot!” he whistled.
“You’re one kinky bastard, you know that?”
“Yeah, well. You’re even kinkier for loving me anyway,” Jensen replied smugly.
Jared laughed his trademark guffaw, propped himself up and smooched Jensen on the forehead before trailing down to his lips, jaw then neck. Jensen’s mobile chose that moment to ring, vibrating on the couch to the tune of Motley Crue’s Bastard. He assigned the tune to one person only.
“Oh,” Jensen groaned, arching up to reach for the phone. “I am going to kill him.”
“Jenny!” Rosenbaum’s annoying voice hollered through the earpiece. “What’cha doing? I didn’t interrupt any sexing, did I?”
You did! Jensen wanted to yell but decided against it. It’ll rile Rosenbaum even more. “Nothing. Just hanging around the house with my fiancée.”
“Fiancé!” Jared yelled in the background and Rosenbaum chortled.
“I know how to decide,” he said and Jensen could imagine him bobbing his eyebrows.
“Forget it, Mike,” Jensen snapped. “I’m not going to tell you who proposed.”
“Whatever, Mrs. Padalecki,” Rosenbaum snickered. “Tom’s having a barbecue or luau or something at his place tonight. You lovebirds coming or what?”
“I’m warning you, Rosenbaum. If it turns out to be a surprise engagement party, you and Welling would be stuck as ushers at the wedding.”
“Whoa, whoa. You mean you intended to make Tommy and I your best men?” Rosenbaum teased. “I’m so honoured.”
“Jared’s best man’s going to be Chad,” Jensen replied, smirking, knowing what effect it would have on Rosenbaum. Jared slapped him playfully on the chest, smirking along.
“Pick Tom,” Rosenbaum promptly offered. “I’d be the ring bearer.”
“Sorry, man,” Jensen sighed dramatically, with feigned pity. “Those spots are taken. By Harley and Sadie.”
“Dogs? You want dogs to bring you your wedding rings?”
“Hey. Those two is family,” Jensen responded and smiled at the look of Jared’s touched face.
Rosenbaum laughed. “The Padalecki household, completed. We could add you guys into a Happy Family deck.”
“Goodbye, Mike. Make sure you have your penguin-tailed tux ready for the waitressing job at our wedding,” Jensen replied, snapping his mobile shut.
“So, Tom’s tonight?” Jared wondered out loud, lounging on the couch and flipping through tv channels.
“How moronic do those two think I am? I’m sure it’s a ploy for a stupid engagement party where they’d show videos of us together and give speeches about how they think we’re perfect together and stuffs.”
“And that’s bad because?”
“Then later in the night they’d popped in a porn DVD and lounge around the living room and drink beer and smoke pot. And knowing those dickheads, it’d be gay porn, no less.”
Jared was silent a while, then sighed heavily. “It’ll be not much different if we let Chad handle it. Could be even worse.”
“You want to plan it ourselves?”
Jared shook his head.
“You want a party at all?” Jensen asked, lifting an eyebrow.
Jared shook his head again.
“So?”
Jared grinned. “I want a pre-wedding honeymoon.”
“There’s no such thing, Jared,” Jensen smiled earnestly.
“Of course there is,” Jared insisted, flashing Sam’s trademark puppy dog eyes.
“Fine,” Jensen sighed, flopping onto the couch next to Jared as if he dreaded the idea. As if he didn’t thought of the same thing himself.
“Do you think Mike knows?”
“About what?”
“About neither of us actually proposed?”
“They wouldn’t believe even if we tell them,” Jensen shrugged, leaning in on Jared’s body.
“Jen, buying these identical rings might be the best idea you’ve ever come up with,” Jared smiled and kissed Jensen on the side of his head, remembering their trip last week.
Jensen had picked out a set of rings and they were trying them on when he turned to Jared and said, “So, I guess we’re getting married, then?”
And what else could Jared say but “Okay.”?
Jensen smiled secretly. He wouldn’t call it a proposal but it did get him what he wanted most in the world. And he was okay with that.
Beyond okay.
you are cordially invited to the ackles-padalecki wedding >>>