New J2 story: True Love's Kiss
True Love's Kiss
J2 AU, approx 7,500 words, adult
Summary: Prince Jared has a plan: slay the dragon, wake the princess with a kiss, and live happily ever after...but he'll settle for two out of three.
Notes: Written for the j2_everafter challenge. This story is very loosely based on Disney's Sleeping Beauty. There are also elements of the classic Sleeping Beauty fairy tale, and then there's the meta, and the crack... With thanks to teand and deirdre_c, who beta read and were terrific cheerleaders, and didn't even mock me. Much.
lostt1 has created a piece of unbelievably gorgeous art for this story - AMAZING art, OMG. Her art post is here. See icon for preview. (She made icons, too!) I can never, ever thank her enough; this piece of art is my total happy place. :D
True Love's Kiss
by Destina
As it turned out, slaying the dragon was the easy part.
Jared had been training practically since birth for just such a battle. Being a handsome young prince came with a whole host of unusual training opportunities: dragon-slaying, slipper-fitting, even magic-resistance.
This mission was something different, though. A command performance at the behest of his father, King Jeffrey, who was certain Jared was the prince destined to wake up the sleeping princess in the kingdom next door.
"Two simple steps, boy: slay the dragon and wake up the girl, and you'll live happily ever after. About time, too," his father said, while printing up a set of GPS coordinates. (Unfortunately, Jared's horse had always suffered from a poor sense of direction.)
"But I don't want to get married."
"This isn't about what you want." King Jeffrey pointed a long, accusing finger at him. "Do you think kingdoms just run themselves? Heirs, boy! Heirs! It's about procreation." The King turned his back on Jared's crinkled face of disgust. "Now get out there and bring back your future queen."
So it came to pass that Jared sighed out his princely angst and went to do his duty. He slayed the dragon, pushed his way in past the briars, cleared a path for his faithful steed to follow, and found himself in the highest tower of a very old castle.
The princess was ensconced ostentatiously on a large bed with dozens of purple silk pillows. "Hm," Jared said, staring at her hair, which was a vivid shade of golden-yellow. Her rosy red lips were fixed in a permanent smile. She wasn't hard to look at. So that would make things easier. Maybe she would turn out to be as beautiful on the inside as she was on the outside. Besides, he'd come this far, and it wouldn't be polite to leave her there sleeping; there was a whole kingdom waiting for her to wake up, so they could awaken with her.
He sighed and bent closer, inhaling the sweet scents of jasmine and roses, which made him smile. "Nice touch," he said. He closed his eyes and pressed his lips to her soft, dry ones - a chaste kiss, since they hadn't yet been introduced.
Nothing happened.
Jared straightened and tilted his head to one side. She remained totally serene, and completely dead to the world. Jared winced. Bad choice of phrase. He pondered her lips, rubbed a thumb across them experimentally, then bent down and kissed her again, a bit more forcefully this time.
Still nothing.
"Huh," he said, frowning. He tried again, and a fourth time, though he was starting to get a little skeeved by the idea of making out with some sleeping stranger, regardless of the agenda. The princess slept on, unmoved by his efforts.
With a sigh, Jared sat down on the pedestal steps. Dust floated up around him; he sneezed. The old castle wasn't the most pleasant place he'd ever kissed someone, that was for sure. "I must be doing something wrong," Jared said out loud.
"That's what I thought too, at first."
Jared stood and whirled, sword drawn in an instant. The young man standing behind him leapt back out of range. "Whoa," he said, hands outstretched. Jared's eyes narrowed; the man had no weapon, and the expression of terror on his face was pretty comical (and satisfying), but it was hard to tell what might happen in situations like this. "Didn't mean to startle you."
"You didn't," Jared said, straightening his shoulders a bit for emphasis, which made him several inches taller than the newcomer. "Who are you?"
"I'm Jensen. I live in the woods, on the edge of the village." Jensen smiled, and Jared blinked rapidly two or three times, because he had a lovely smile, very pink and with lips that should probably be illegal. Focus, Jared, he told himself sternly, in his father's voice. That worked pretty well.
Jared cleared his throat. "I'm Prince Jared. How did you get into the castle?" he demanded. Considering all the smiting he'd had to do to get in himself, he figured it was a legitimate question.
"Oh, that. I've been sneaking in through a hole in the brambles since I was a kid. Just seemed to me like somebody should, you know, weed the flower beds, sometimes, and plant pansies and marigolds. They're pretty durable. They make the brambles look less ugly." Something about the look on Jared's face made Jensen say, "What? I can't plant some flowers?"
"Sure, sure," Jared said hastily.
Jensen scowled, apparently unconvinced. "And I do a few things around the castle, too, like make sure the hinges are oiled so princes can burst through them, if any make it inside, like you. I also dust Princess Aurora every now and then, and comb her flaxen hair." He wrinkled his nose. "Nobody wants to kiss a dusty, unkempt princess."
"True." Jared tilted his head to one side, and then nodded toward the princess. "So you gave it a try?"
"What?"
"Laying one on her."
"Uh," Jensen said, and turned the prettiest shade of pink Jared had ever seen. "Just once. I mean, you know. She's asleep. And she looks like she's sixteen, tops."
"Yeah," Jared said. "I know." That skeevy feeling was coming back over him.
"But I figured I owed it to the kingdom to try. Since I'm a man, and all, even though I'm not a prince like you."
"Thoughtful of you," Jared said drily, and when Jensen laughed, Jared didn't try to stop the grin that came over his own face in response.
"So, am I the first prince to make it all the way inside?"
"More or less." At Jared's questioning look, Jensen added, "There was the really old one last year, who had a heart attack when he saw her."
"So I guess there's no precedent for this." Jared scratched his head, and tried not to stare too much at Jensen, who was wearing black breeches and boots, and a laced top of soft-looking brown homespun under which the hollow of his throat was very invitingly bared. It was disrespectful, what with Jared's future wife laying right there just feet away.
"Nope." Jensen glanced at Jared, tugged at the laces on his shirt, and then turned away to fiddle with the train of Princess Aurora's dress.
"I suppose I could look around the castle and see if there's some spell I'm supposed to do, or something."
"I could help you. If you want." Jensen looked so hopeful, Jared didn't have the heart to say no. Not that he was really inclined to say no anyway, what with Jensen's bare throat and the tight breeches and all being so attractively interesting.
"Okay. But you stay behind me, just in case it's dangerous in here."
"I've been around this place for years, and I can take care of myself." Now Jensen looked pissed off, and that was an attractive look on him, too, stubborn and cranky and cute.
Jared stared at him a moment. "You know how to fight?"
"Sure."
"Use a sword?"
"I'm great with a sword."
Something about the way Jensen said it made Jared cough a bit. He caught himself absently fondling the hilt of his own sword, and dropped his hand quickly. Jensen lifted an eyebrow.
"Well, come on then," Jared said, as he stomped off toward the upstairs. A moment later, Jensen followed behind him.
The castle showed its many years of neglect, from decrepit rooms to mossy walls, but Jared could also tell where Jensen had applied a caring touch. Flowers decorated the bedroom of the King and Queen, and the tapestries were clean. By the time they'd been through the castle top to bottom, Jared was beat, perplexed, and also starving. "There any food here that isn't dried up and dusty?" he asked.
"There's a huge kitchen downstairs, and if you can pull some vegetables for lunch, I make a mean pot of soup," Jensen answered.
"Sounds awesome. Lead the way," Jared said, mostly because he was super-lost and needed the help to get back to the kitchens, and not at all because he wanted to get a good look at Jensen's amazing ass.
As they passed Princess Aurora, Jared gave her another experimental peck - a combo this time, one on the nose and one on the lips - but he was kind of relieved that it didn't work, because if she'd suddenly come to life, he was going to miss out on what might be a very satisfying lunch.
**
Pulling vegetables was harder than it seemed, and as a result, Jared scratched his face on the brambles while crawling around in the dirt beneath. Jensen scolded him when he returned, and before Jared knew what hit him, he was seated by the fire with Jensen hovering, dabbing at the cut and looking worried. The last time anyone had seemed so worried about Jared, he'd been ten. But somehow, he couldn't bring himself to order Jensen to stop fussing; he just closed his eyes while Jensen salved the wound.
"The princess won't like it if you aren't pleasing to her eye when she wakes," Jensen said softly, his thumb brushing over Jared's face.
"As long as she's grateful, I guess she'll get over it," Jared said, rubbing his jaw. His fingers just happened to brush Jensen's. Totally by accident.
Jensen looked inexplicably sad when he withdrew his hand.
Jared cleaned the vegetables in a very manly way while Jensen did mysterious kitcheny things, and before long, the soup was bubbly in the cast-iron pot. Jared slurped his way happily through several bowls with a side of biscuits. "It's so good, Jensen," he said, and wasn't even embarrassed that he moaned a little when he said it. That encounter with the dragon had earned him a good meal.
"Glad you like it." Jensen rubbed his nose, leaving a smudge of flour there, and favored Jared with a pleased smile. Jared could have sworn that when he smiled, a pink sparkle floated through the air. He leaned forward, staring hard, as a blue sparkle followed it, drifting gently past Jensen's nose.
"Uh-oh," Jensen said.
"What, uh-oh?" Jared swatted at the overly large bottlefly buzzing around his head and spooned up the last of the soup from his bowl.
"We have company."
"Maybe you should eat something," Jared said, as he reached for the pot to dish Jensen out a helping. "You look kind of pale."
"He means us, dear," came a voice from somewhere around Jared's elbow. He jerked back, dropping the spoon with a clatter, and stared at the tiny pink fairy lighting on the rough-hewn wooden table. Next to her, two other itsy bitsy fairies drifted in, one blue, one green, and if he squinted, he could more or less tell they were female, and smiling.
Jared looked accusingly at Jensen. "What the hell did you put in this soup, anyway?"
"Now, now, language, dear!" The tiny pink fairy clucked at him, and a burst of pink sparkle aimed his way caused Jared to recoil in alarm. "We had to come for a visit, you see!"
"To learn what's become of the first prince to make his way in since-"
"That unfortunate incident," said the green one.
"Oh, yes yes, terrible, wasn't it?"
Jared rubbed his eyes and when that didn't help, he turned back to Jensen, who shrugged, a half-smile on his face.
"Um, Prince Jared, let me introduce Mistress Merriweather, Mistress Flora, and Mistress Fauna." They flitted forward as he mentioned their names, and Jared took another step back.
"So pleased!" said Flora.
"So charmed!" said Fauna.
"My, you are a large one, aren't you?" said Merriweather, as she shimmied down his arm.
"Hey," Jared said, frantically waving his arm. "What are you?"
"Why, we're the Princess Aurora's fairy godmothers!" Flora said brightly.
"We enchanted her," Fauna added. "To sleep, instead of to die, and to be awakened by-"
"I'm sure we're all familiar with that part of the story," Jared said. "But I kissed her, and she didn't wake up."
"What?" Flora exclaimed. "Oh, dear, oh dear. This won't do. It won't do at all." The three of them converged into a glittering mass of sparkles and chattered softly together.
"They stop by sometimes," Jensen said, as he moved closer to Jared. When their shoulders were touching, Jared relaxed, oddly soothed by the contact. "They don't mean any harm. They're like...interfering aunts."
"Oh," Jared said, and then he got it completely. His Aunt Ariel had been trying to pimp him out since he was of age.
A green mass appeared in mid-air before Jared's face. "Young man," said the little fairy, "we've concluded that it must be something about you."
"Excuse me?" Jared huffed forcefully enough that Merriweather was blown back a couple inches. "I'm a prince from the best family in ten neighboring kingdoms. I killed that dragon with one whack. I'm awesome."
"Clearly there's some problem," sniffed Fauna.
"Perhaps it's your technique, dear." Flora settled on his shoulder and whispered in his ear, "Not every man is a satisfactory kisser, after all."
"Not every man is me, lady," Jared hissed, batting at his ear.
"Oh, my, we've insulted him!" Flora said from somewhere over his head, and then she settled on his other shoulder. "Dear oh dear. Perhaps it's just an issue of practice."
"I've had plenty of practice," Jared said through gritted teeth.
"We're just trying to help," Fauna said, and all of a sudden, she was both full size and way, way too close to him as she popped into focus. "And you may practice on me!"
"And me!" offered Flora brightly.
Before Merriweather could offer up herself as sacrifice, too, Jared cut a hand through the air. "Hold it! I am not going to kiss a bunch of fairies!"
"Oh, pooh," Flora said, and she looked so put out, Jared almost felt sorry for her, before he remembered he was a prince with manly dignity which had been unjustly impugned. "Well, perhaps you could kiss just one of us, then."
"All right. One of you. ONE," Jared agreed loudly, as they all surged forward, hands clasped. "You," he said, pointing to Flora with a hand that definitely wasn't shaking, while Jensen hid a smile under his hand, damn him.
Flora crowded up against him and closed her eyes, then lifted her face to his. The other two tittered. Jensen rolled his eyes, and Jared leaned down, closer, closer...fairy dust flew up his nose and he turned his head to sneeze...and then he closed the distance and kissed Flora like it was his last chance to kiss a girl. He could sort of feel her girdle slipping about a bit as he embraced her, but he ignored it, since his reputation was on the line.
After a long moment, he released her, and she stepped back, a decidedly calculating expression on her face as she regarded him. "Well?" he asked.
"Well, dear, it was...quite adequate." She smacked her lips, nodded, and said, "Quite average, in fact."
"Average??" Jared crossed his arms. "That's it?"
"You have to understand, dear, Flora is the best judge of such things," Fauna said. She patted his shoulder kindly. "Don't be ashamed."
"I'm not ashamed!" Jared roared, and sighed when all of them except for Jensen cringed away. He gentled his tone. "Look, I've never had any complaints."
"Perhaps you've never had anyone as discriminating as the Princess Aurora." Flora eyed him in such a critical way that or me was totally implied, and Jared had dropped his stare even before he realized it. "But all isn't lost! There is much we can do! Jensen, do go and fetch the mirror from the hallway."
"What for?" Jared asked, just as Fauna said, "Oh, no, you mustn't! You know it's forbidden to bring the tales together!"
"Just this once," Flora soothed, patting Fauna's arm as she wrung her hands together. "There there, Fauna, all will be well! We really have no choice. There isn't anyone else to instruct him."
"He won't be happy!" Merriweather said glumly.
"Who won't?" Jared looked from one to the other, but got no answer.
Jensen marched back into the room with a largeish mirror, one of those garish ornate things that were all over the castle. He set it down on the counter and wiped it with the edge of his sleeve, which eradicated most of the grime. "This all right?" he asked Flora, who beamed at him.
"Perfectly wonderful!" She lifted her wand and waved it around a bit, leaking sparkles as it circled in the air. "Hold it up, Jensen! I must enchant it!"
"Wait a minute," Jared said, but Merriweather said urgently, "Hush, dear!" and so he clammed up.
"Magic mirror on the wall, come to us and heed our call," Flora sang gaily. "This disruption for one day, and then we'll send you on your way."
Flora waved her wand, and the mirror darkened, became fathomless. From the depths, a face emerged, something dark and terrifying...and male.
"Who has summoned me?" it demanded, as it stared out from the black.
"We have! Hello, Magic Mirror! Hello!" Flora said, and she shoved Jared in front of the mirror, while Jensen held it up.
"You are not my queen," the Mirror said as it gazed upon him.
"Obviously, duh," Jared said.
"Magic Mirror, we're sorry for, um, borrowing you from your regular duties, but we need your help!" Flora said.
"Yes indeed! Prince Jared needs some instruction on how to awaken a princess!" Fauna added.
"For this, you have summoned me from my proper tale?" The Mirror scowled at Jared, and he felt its distinct disapproval. "Thou art not the fairest of them all."
"Hey, man, I don't need your validation. I do all right," Jared shot back.
"I am surprised this vessel did not break when your countenance first appeared before it," the Mirror answered.
"Yeah, well, you're not exactly prime kissing material, either," Jared growled. "Chicks aren't gonna be lining up for your ugly ass, if you know what I mean."
"I have been consort to queens!" boomed the Mirror.
"Well, so have I," Jared said.
Jensen lowered the Mirror and mouthed, really?
"What? I have! You think I didn't get around before this? Queens get lonely!" Jared motioned to Jensen to raise the mirror back up. Jensen gave him a dubious look, but he raised the thing and held it at face-level. When Jared was eye to eye with it again, he added, "It's a job, right? You make me a better kisser, I wake the princess up and we live happily ever. It's a job for both of us. Get over yourself."
They glowered at each other for a moment, until Flora tapped Jared on the nose with her wand. "Well, dear, I think you have this in hand, so we'll just leave you to it. Jensen, darling, you will be sure to put the mirror back on the wall when it has finished its work?"
"Sure," Jensen said agreeably from somewhere behind the mirror.
"You're such a darling," cooed Merriweather.
"Pity you weren't born a prince," Fauna said, with a pointed look at Jared. And then with a flurry of fairy dust, they disappeared with a POOF.
"Nice," Jared shouted after them. "Thanks for that."
Jensen said, "They come around every so often. I think they're lonely."
"Whatever." Jared squared his shoulders and took a calculating look at the Mirror. Its face floated behind the cold surface, unappealing and grumpy. The idea of kissing that made him shudder.
As if it read his mind, the Mirror narrowed its eyes and said, "As I have been tasked with educating you, I shall endeavor to appear more presentable." In the blink of an eye, its form changed, to the face of the lovely Princess Aurora, smiling and batting her eyelashes at Jared.
"You may kiss me now," the Mirror intoned in its regular, scary voice, completely shattering the illusion.
"There is nothing wrong with my kissing," Jared growled.
"I will be the judge of that." The Mirror frowned, drawing together Princess Aurora's brows in a most unpleasant way that reminded Jared of his nanny. "Kiss me immediately."
Jared sighed, leaned in, and pressed his lips to the mirror, which felt...like a mirror.
"Unacceptable," the Mirror said, the moment Jared's lips were off him.
"There was nothing wrong with that kiss, either." Jared glared at the Mirror.
The Mirror gazed implacably at him, as if trying to figure him out. Then it began shifting, changing its form. "Perhaps you must be suitably inspired," it said, and a flash of a handsome face appeared, wide green eyes and a dazzling smile.
Jared shifted nervously. This wasn't in the plan. The face in the mirror sharpened, became clearer, and then an image of Jensen was looking out at him thoughtfully. "Try again," the Mirror said, sounding less bizarre while wearing a male face.
"No." Jared folded his arms. It was the principle of the thing.
"You waste my time, princeling."
"Yeah, well, you're a lousy kisser. You're cold and two-dimensional."
The Mirror resumed its normal face and glowered at him. "Racist."
"That's it." Jared pulled out his sword. "Seriously, go back to wherever you came from, or I'm going to-"
"As you wish. But you deceive yourself, princeling. See yourself as clearly I see you, and all shall become clear." The Mirror wavered, then faded from view.
"What did it mean by that?" Jensen said, lowering the mirror enough for Jared to see his eyes. His bright green, beautifully confused eyes.
"Nothing." Jared glanced around the room. "Are those fairies spying on us?"
"I don't know," Jensen said. "They come and go as they please."
"Well, then I can't stay here." Jared thought for a moment. "Maybe you could take me to your place."
"Seriously?" Jensen's face lit up as if someone had just handed him a cupcake. "But I live in a cottage out in the woods. It's not really fit for a prince."
"Do you dust it more often than you dust this place?" Jared asked. Jensen looked immediately offended. Jared grinned. "Well, then, it's perfect."
**
Jensen's cottage was perfectly suitable for hiding from fairies with agendas. It was small, but hidden far back in the woods, and the farther from the castle they got, the happier Jared felt. He whistled a bit on the dirt path to Jensen's front door, and was startled when a bird appeared from nowhere, flying alongside his head, and tweeting happily along with his random song.
"The hell?" Jared said, ducking.
"Oh, never mind her," Jensen said, giving the bird a fondly exasperated look. "She thinks you sing beautifully."
"Well, at least someone thinks I can do something right." Jared stopped dead in the path. "Wait, you understand her?"
"Um." Jensen shrugged his shoulders and kicked his foot out a little, and that's when Jared noticed the bunnies clustered around Jensen's feet, looking eagerly up at him as if a long-lost friend had just come home.
A slow smile spread across Jared's face. "You're full of surprises, aren't you?"
Jensen turned away and fumbled with the doorknob, and Jared raised an eyebrow at the bunnies--and one fawn that had just galloped up--as they crowded in behind Jensen. "May I?" he said, and the animals all turned to stare at him. He stepped over them, in through the door, and closed the bottom half of it without letting the animals in, ignoring the outraged thump near the base of the door.
"So," Jensen said. He stood in the center of the room, shifting from foot to foot. "If you're tired, the bed is in there." He pointed to the doorway on the left.
"I could use a nap," Jared said. "Dragon-slaying is pretty exhausting." He omitted the part about how all the insults to his manhood were wearing him down, too. He sat down on the chair by the banked fire and pulled off his boots, then put his sword with them. "You sure you don't mind?"
"Nope," Jensen said, staring at Jared's wiggling toes. "Go right ahead."
Jared smiled. "It's really kind of you."
"Think nothing of it." Jensen opened the bedroom door and then busied himself puttering around the room. Jared watched him for a second, then yawned hugely. The bed was calling.
Jared stretched out on the fresh-smelling sheets and fluffed up Jensen's pillow. Seconds later, he was asleep.
When he woke, sometime in the late night, he sat up with a start. Jensen was stretched out beside him, curled away from Jared as if he'd tried not to wake him. A rough blanket was stretched over Jared, but Jensen was without a blanket, bare-chested and in only his trousers.
Jared gently pulled the blanket up and across Jensen, who shifted closer to Jared and murmured sleepily, something Jared couldn't understand. "Hush," Jared said, smoothing a hand across Jensen's shoulders. At his touch, Jensen sank back into sleep.
Jared stared at Jensen, and then at his hand, and then at Jensen's lips. Then he whispered, "Uh-oh."
**
In the morning, Jared snuck out for his boots and sword before Jensen awoke, and crept out into the dewy forest to be alone with his thoughts. He was greeted outside the door by a menagerie consisting of three fawns, one owl, five birds of assorted sizes and colors, an entire family of bunnies, and a raccoon. Immediately they began chattering at him, and he held up a hand. "Hey," he said. "You'll have to wait for the translator."
One of the fawns ran up and butted against him, nudging him back toward the cabin. "Uh, no," Jared said. "Jensen needs his beauty sleep."
Another nudge, more insistent.
"I'll go back in a little while, okay?"
The little deer gave a sort of doubtful snort, but it scampered back to its friends. Then they all just stared at him while Jared walked around back to the woodpile and sat down. His father had taught him to be strong and logical, so that was what he was going to be.
Sleeping princess immune to his charms: check. Except, no one was ever immune to Jared's charms; such a thing was totally unthinkable.
He thought about the Mirror's pronouncement that his kissing was unacceptable, and the fairy's disdain for his technique, and looked down at his hand again. "I know I'm not doing it wrong," he told it. His hand lay there limply, declining to argue. He lifted it up, tried to picture Princess Aurora's face, and started smooching his hand. He gave it plenty of tongue, too, just to prove that he knew how. But then a strange thing happened; in his mind, the lips touching his changed, became softer, and attached to a familiar smile.
Jensen's smile.
A peal of laughter from behind him caused Jared to startle and drop his hand. Jensen stood there, holding his belly and laughing in a way that should have made Jared want to take his sword and run Jensen through immediately for daring to insult him so. But the sound of Jensen's laugh did funny things to Jared's insides, and he stood there dumbstruck, allowing a peasant to mock him. Jensen's smile was so warm, and his laugh so endearing....
"Seriously?" Jensen said. "Your hand?"
Jared smiled thinly and put his hands in his pockets. Where they belonged.
"I'm sorry," Jensen said, and his laugh faded out. "I didn't mean to make fun of you."
"It's okay. I probably needed to be made fun of." Jared shuffled his feet, and looked at Jensen and then away, and generally stood there feeling unaccountably awkward, until Jensen came over and put a hand on his shoulder.
"I really am sorry." He squeezed Jared's shoulder, his hand warm and strong, and then said, "Want to take breakfast out to the field? I have some chores to do, but I thought-"
"Definitely," Jared said, distracted by the way his whole body was attempting to get closer to the warmth of Jensen's hand. His stomach growled, and he realized that the last thing he'd had was Jensen's delicious soup the night before. "I could eat a live bear."
A horrified squawk and bunny squeak from behind him, and Jared winced. Furious bunny chatter made Jensen's lips twitch, and then Jensen was laughing again, such a wonderfully open laugh that soon, Jared was laughing, too.
They gathered up some ale and cheese and bread into a basket, and then Jared followed Jensen as he led the way through the forest and into a small clearing. The sun was shining, a gentle breeze moving the trees, and for the first time in a long time, Jared felt happy for no reason. Sure, he still had the princess problem to solve, but they had time. It wasn't like she was going anywhere.
Jensen set the basket down in a spot surrounded with pink and purple wildflowers and said, "We could eat first, before I chop the wood," and Jared said at the same time, "Stay with me for a while?" They blinked at each other, and then Jared sat down, patted the grass right next to him. Jensen grinned, and flopped down there, reaching for the basket.
They shared slices of pungent cheese and day-old crusty bread, and some brew that burned the back of Jared's throat in a way the refined wines his mother foisted on him never did. The field smelled of fresh flowers, and the sun hit Jensen's skin in such a way that each freckle on his skin seemed to glow. Jared was transfixed by the sight of his throat, and he tried substituting Aurora in his mind, but every time, her face faded away like something not real. Jensen was very real, and very present.
"So, Prince Jared." Jensen passed Jared the bottle; their fingers brushed gently together.
"I like it better when it's just Jared. Too many people get hung up on the prince part." Jared took a long swallow of the bitter ale and passed the bottle back.
"Okay, Jared." Jensen put the bottle to his lips; Jared was mesmerized by the way his throat moved as he swallowed. Before he could tell himself no, he reached out and traced the hollow of Jensen's throat. Jensen tilted his head back, let him touch. "So what would you do if you weren't a prince?" The deep vibration of his words made Jared's fingertips tingle.
Jared pulled his hand away. He rolled over on his stomach in the soft warm grass and rested his chin on his folded arms. "I never thought about it."
"Never? Not even once?"
"I guess I was brought up to think only of the kingdom. I'm a prince. It's what I do. It's what I'll always do."
"And princes get married and have more princes."
"Or princesses." A stab of regret went through Jared. He sighed. "What about you? What are you going to do with your life?"
"Oh, you know. I'll probably leave the village and go to school. Become a doctor or a lawyer. Maybe a veterinarian. I'm good with animals."
"So I see," Jared said, as a bunny clambered over Jensen's legs to perch on his knees. Jensen picked it up by the scruff of its neck and set it on his lap, then petted it absently. "They love you."
"Guess I'm kind of loveable," Jensen said, not looking at him.
"Jensen." Jared reached out and patted the bunny on the rump. It scampered off Jensen's lap as Jared took hold of Jensen's hand. He ran his fingers across the lines on Jensen's palm, against the callused pads of his fingers, roughened by work.
"You know," Jensen said, raising his gaze to Jared's, "you don't have to use your hand. For practice, I mean. I'm...I know I'm not...her, but-"
"You're definitely not her." Jared leaned closer, until he could feel Jensen's quick breaths on his face. His nose bumped Jensen's. Jensen made a small noise of disbelief, and Jared just...couldn't help it. He had to do it. He pressed his lips to Jensen's, slow and soft at first, then deeper, gentle licks of tongue until Jensen's breath caught. Jared curled his fingers around Jensen's and held on tight while he worked his way inside Jensen's mouth.
Around them, the birds burst into cheery song, and when Jared lifted his head, he could have sworn there were pink sparkles in the air. Or maybe that was just his vision shorting out behind that spectacular kiss. Jensen's eyes were still closed, and his lips were parted, as if he was waiting for Jared to kiss him again. So Jared did, but this time, he pushed Jensen onto his back and began to tug at the buttons on his shirt.
"Jared." Jensen caught his hands. "I know this isn't forever. I don't want to be in the way."
"Shh," Jared said, brushing his lips across Jensen's. "I can't practice if you're talking."
"You don't need any practice." Jensen's hand cupped the back of Jared's neck and he ran his lips across Jared's jaw, over the fast pulse in his neck. "You're perfect, just as you are."
No one in Jared's life had ever said those words to him. He stared at Jensen for a moment, searching for any sign of insincerity. It wouldn't be the first time some peasant had sucked up to him. Or sucked him. Same difference. But Jensen seemed entirely earnest, which made Jared want to kiss him more.
They kissed for what seemed like hours, until Jensen was writhing beneath Jared in the grass, his shirt off, and his hands grasping at Jared's body. Jared stripped Jensen down completely, and himself, and there in a field full of wildflowers, he took Jensen, who gasped and cried out and basically fulfilled Jared's every wet dream there on his knees in the waving grass. His skin tasted of sunlight and salt, and when Jared was inside Jensen, moving slow and deep, he felt for a moment that with Jensen, he was complete, and that this was meant to be.
After they were both sated, Jared lay silently beside Jensen on the blanket, his fingers twined with Jensen's. Jared wasn't sure what to say. Everything that occurred to him was wrong, like, 'let's ditch this forest and shack up at my palace', and 'you're so pretty when you come, even if it was really messy', and 'my, what big beautiful eyes you have, Jensen'. None of it was really what he meant at all, and he couldn't promise anything, anyway. He had princesses to wake. Kingdoms to rule. Jensen wasn't really any part of that, and it just wasn't fair.
"Come on," Jensen said. He'd been dressing while Jared was brooding. Jared sighed, and pulled on his own clothes. No point in dilly-dallying any longer. Jensen reached out a hand to Jared, helped him to his feet. Jared stood there for a moment, the castle looming dark above them. Jensen touched his elbow. "We'll think of something."
"Sure." Jared nodded, though every instinct he had was screaming at him to throw Jensen on his trusty steed and get the hell out of there. Wouldn't even matter what direction they went. But he was born a prince, and he had a job to do.
"I'll still be here," Jensen said softly. "However you need me. I'll help, if I can."
Jared sighed. He wrapped Jensen up in his arms, just long enough to remind himself what he would be giving up; Jensen held on tight. And then he let Jared go.
One foot in front of the other, they made their way back to the castle, side by side.
**
Nothing had changed at the castle, though the lingering smell of soup reminded Jared they had barely been gone a day. He stood in the kitchen and pondered his problems. Beautiful princess, still unconscious. Gorgeous peasant, with skin that tasted like sunbeams and-
A distinctly feminine giggle pierced the silence of the kitchen.
Jared turned to stare at Jensen. "Did you hear that?"
"I thought I imagined it," Jensen said. "Sometimes it gets a little creepy here with all these-"
"Shhh!" Jared held out a hand to Jensen, listening to the sounds of clanking in the hallway. He pulled his sword and ran to the hallway, and there he found three guards, long asleep, stirring as if waking from long dreams. He turned then toward the steps and took them two at a time, bounding up to the tower room where the princess lay.
Except, she wasn't in repose anymore; she was cuddled up cozily to some skinny dude, who had his arm around her like it belonged there.
"Who the hell are you?" Jared demanded, pointing the sword at him.
"I'm Prince Phillip." Phillip--who was just a kid--stood up and bowed. "I take it you're the prince who cut your way in here?"
"Prince Jared." Jared nodded to Princess Aurora, who was beaming at Phillip like he was the best thing since sliced bread. "Actually, I slayed the dragon AND cut my way in here."
"Oh, thank you!" Princess Aurora jumped up, pretty sprightly for a chick who had been sacked out for a hundred years, and ran to Jared. She gave him a peck on the cheek. "You cleared the way for my true love to awaken me, and therefore my kingdom!"
Jared gave her a lopsided smile. "You know," Jared said, raising an eyebrow to Phillip, "this really isn't fair. I do all the work, and you get the, um, rewards?"
"Hey," Phillip said. "Not my fault you couldn't deliver true love."
"There is nothing wrong with my love," Jared said hotly. "Or my kissing! What is it with you people and the blaming?"
"Oh dear," Princess Aurora said softly. "Please don't be offended, Prince Jared. I do appreciate you trying! Besides, we owe our future happiness to you."
"We really do," Phillip said. He rose and extended his hand to Jared in a very princely way. "I'd like to thank you, too."
"Hmph," Jared said. Looking at the princess, with her contrite expression, and then at how Phillip positively turned to goo when she smiled at him, it was hard to stay irritated. He shook Phillip's hand, and was rewarded with a huge smile. It was hard to dislike the bastard. Jared sighed. Maybe they could compare notes on kissing. Maybe he could pick up some tips.
"Besides, dear," came a voice from behind him, "wouldn't you agree true love comes when you least expect it?"
Jared whirled around and found himself face to face with a flitting, beaming Merriweather, her wee hands clasped together. Behind her, illuminated by a cloud of extra-pink sparkles, Jensen was standing back, watching Jared with a hopeful, nervous smile on his face. Flora and Fauna hovered near Jensen's left shoulder, whispering to each other and giggling softly.
"Maybe," Jared said slowly. Jensen met his eyes, then looked away again, and Jared's heart made a distinct, impatient thump in his chest.
"Well, go on," Merriweather said, poking him in the ear with her wand.
Jared glanced around; everyone was looking at him expectantly, except for Jensen, who seemed poised to flee. Better hurry, then. He crossed the room in two steps and sheathed his sword so he could take Jensen's hands in his own.
"Hey," Jared said.
"Hey." Jensen's lips curled up into a wider smile, and he said, "So."
"You think maybe you could be happy living in a castle?" Jared said. "I mean, my castle is really comfortable, but it isn't as big as this one."
"Size isn't really one of your problems," Jensen said, grinning full-out now.
Flora, Merriweather, and Fauna all coughed at the same time. Phillip turned purple.
Jared shifted them around so his back was to their audience. In the process, he sort of, accidentally, crowded Jensen up against the wall. "My dad's kind of an asshole," he said softly, brushing his lips against Jensen's temple. "But he's right about one thing; I have a job to do. My life has been laid out for me since birth. It's going to be full of ceremonies and audiences and lots of boring balls and parties and affairs of state."
"You'll need help with all that," Jensen said. "I told you before, I'm very helpful."
"And loveable, don't forget." Jared shifted his hands to Jensen's hips, leaned in closer.
"You think?" Jensen breathed, his lips so close to Jared's, his words vibrated through Jared's body.
In answer, Jared kissed him. This time, the sparkles appeared out of nowhere, a combination of purply-blue and ultra-pink.
Behind him, Merriweather whispered loudly, "The sparkles are self-explanatory, don't you think?"
"They are very bright and gay," Fauna said.
"Especially the last part," Phillip muttered, followed by "Ow!"
"Mind your manners with our guests," Aurora said primly.
Jared smiled against Jensen's lips and said, "Promise me you won't ever jab me with an elbow and I'll be yours forever."
"Never," Jensen said fervently, and cupped his hand around Jared's head, brought him down for kisses and more kisses, until Jared was fairly convinced that he'd never need practice again.
**
The sound of birds singing outside the window dragged Jared up from a deep, contented sleep. He stretched and scratched his shoulder, and turned his face toward the music. "Good morning," he told the birds, who chattered back excitedly.
He rolled onto his side and propped himself up on one elbow so he could watch Jensen sleeping. Jensen was sprawled out across the white sheets, dark lashes against his cheeks, lips still swollen from all the kissing the night before. Freckles scattered across his chest, trailing down toward his belly and hips. Jared had been waking up to this pretty sight for a week, and every time it made him feel protective, like he should wrap Jensen in his arms and hide him from the world until he was sure Jensen was really his.
With one finger, he traced a path between the freckles on Jensen's chest. He pressed a kiss to each freckle as he passed it, and soon enough, Jensen stirred, and blinked his eyes open. Jared wasted no time taking Jensen's mouth, and when he was satisfied that he'd kissed Jensen stupid, he lifted his head. "Good morning, Prince Jensen," he said, was rewarded with Jensen's ridiculously happy smile.
"Good morning, my prince." Jensen tugged the sheet away from both of them and scooted over until he was in Jared's arms, skin to skin.
"My new in-laws woke me up with a lovely song this morning," Jared said, nuzzling at Jensen's throat.
"Hmmm," Jensen said. "They're setting up nests in that tree, you know." He pushed his fingers through Jared's hair, which made Jared want to purr.
"Better put up some curtains soon," Jared said. "Or their chicks might be scarred for life."
"About that," Jensen said. "Your father is having a hard time, you know."
"The sparkles get on his nerves." Jared sighed. "He's not really used to Technicolor."
"It's not just that." Jensen hooked his leg over Jared's hip. "He really wants heirs."
Jared snorted. "Well, I'm not into harems."
"Procreation, son!" Jensen said, in a reasonable and sort of scary imitation of King Jeffrey that made Jared laugh out loud.
"He'll get over it," Jared said, distracted easily by the gold-green-brown of Jensen's changeable eyes.
"I like kids," Jensen said.
"So do I, but you know. You're a man. I'm a very manly man. Nature has conspired against us."
"True," Jensen said. "But really, nothing is impossible when you have three fairies at your beck and call, desperate to meddle."
A stray sparkle drifted down to land on Jensen's nose when Jared kissed him there; Jared blew gently at it. "Okay," Jared said. "But I'm not ruining this girlish figure. Besides, I'm not the one who makes soup and hangs out with bunnies."
"Mmmm," Jensen said. He shifted his weight, pushed Jared on his back, and all parts of Jared woke up to the possibilities. "Point taken. But you know, I'm pretty sure that for this, we need practice."
"Lots and lots of practice," Jared agreed. He rolled his hips up, narrowing his eyes with pleasure when Jensen threw his head back, eyes closed.
Outside, the birds chirped with alarm when Jensen cried out, but the bunnies hushed them; after all, no one understood such things better than the bunnies.
Down in the throne room, King Jeffrey sharpened his sword and muttered about disobedient sons, as kings are wont to do. But inside their nicely appointed bedroom--in which there was a distinct absence of purple pillows--Jensen and Jared practiced kissing (and other shamelessly lustful acts) to their hearts' content, happily ever after.
THE END
J2 AU, approx 7,500 words, adult
Summary: Prince Jared has a plan: slay the dragon, wake the princess with a kiss, and live happily ever after...but he'll settle for two out of three.
Notes: Written for the j2_everafter challenge. This story is very loosely based on Disney's Sleeping Beauty. There are also elements of the classic Sleeping Beauty fairy tale, and then there's the meta, and the crack... With thanks to teand and deirdre_c, who beta read and were terrific cheerleaders, and didn't even mock me. Much.
lostt1 has created a piece of unbelievably gorgeous art for this story - AMAZING art, OMG. Her art post is here. See icon for preview. (She made icons, too!) I can never, ever thank her enough; this piece of art is my total happy place. :D
True Love's Kiss
by Destina
As it turned out, slaying the dragon was the easy part.
Jared had been training practically since birth for just such a battle. Being a handsome young prince came with a whole host of unusual training opportunities: dragon-slaying, slipper-fitting, even magic-resistance.
This mission was something different, though. A command performance at the behest of his father, King Jeffrey, who was certain Jared was the prince destined to wake up the sleeping princess in the kingdom next door.
"Two simple steps, boy: slay the dragon and wake up the girl, and you'll live happily ever after. About time, too," his father said, while printing up a set of GPS coordinates. (Unfortunately, Jared's horse had always suffered from a poor sense of direction.)
"But I don't want to get married."
"This isn't about what you want." King Jeffrey pointed a long, accusing finger at him. "Do you think kingdoms just run themselves? Heirs, boy! Heirs! It's about procreation." The King turned his back on Jared's crinkled face of disgust. "Now get out there and bring back your future queen."
So it came to pass that Jared sighed out his princely angst and went to do his duty. He slayed the dragon, pushed his way in past the briars, cleared a path for his faithful steed to follow, and found himself in the highest tower of a very old castle.
The princess was ensconced ostentatiously on a large bed with dozens of purple silk pillows. "Hm," Jared said, staring at her hair, which was a vivid shade of golden-yellow. Her rosy red lips were fixed in a permanent smile. She wasn't hard to look at. So that would make things easier. Maybe she would turn out to be as beautiful on the inside as she was on the outside. Besides, he'd come this far, and it wouldn't be polite to leave her there sleeping; there was a whole kingdom waiting for her to wake up, so they could awaken with her.
He sighed and bent closer, inhaling the sweet scents of jasmine and roses, which made him smile. "Nice touch," he said. He closed his eyes and pressed his lips to her soft, dry ones - a chaste kiss, since they hadn't yet been introduced.
Nothing happened.
Jared straightened and tilted his head to one side. She remained totally serene, and completely dead to the world. Jared winced. Bad choice of phrase. He pondered her lips, rubbed a thumb across them experimentally, then bent down and kissed her again, a bit more forcefully this time.
Still nothing.
"Huh," he said, frowning. He tried again, and a fourth time, though he was starting to get a little skeeved by the idea of making out with some sleeping stranger, regardless of the agenda. The princess slept on, unmoved by his efforts.
With a sigh, Jared sat down on the pedestal steps. Dust floated up around him; he sneezed. The old castle wasn't the most pleasant place he'd ever kissed someone, that was for sure. "I must be doing something wrong," Jared said out loud.
"That's what I thought too, at first."
Jared stood and whirled, sword drawn in an instant. The young man standing behind him leapt back out of range. "Whoa," he said, hands outstretched. Jared's eyes narrowed; the man had no weapon, and the expression of terror on his face was pretty comical (and satisfying), but it was hard to tell what might happen in situations like this. "Didn't mean to startle you."
"You didn't," Jared said, straightening his shoulders a bit for emphasis, which made him several inches taller than the newcomer. "Who are you?"
"I'm Jensen. I live in the woods, on the edge of the village." Jensen smiled, and Jared blinked rapidly two or three times, because he had a lovely smile, very pink and with lips that should probably be illegal. Focus, Jared, he told himself sternly, in his father's voice. That worked pretty well.
Jared cleared his throat. "I'm Prince Jared. How did you get into the castle?" he demanded. Considering all the smiting he'd had to do to get in himself, he figured it was a legitimate question.
"Oh, that. I've been sneaking in through a hole in the brambles since I was a kid. Just seemed to me like somebody should, you know, weed the flower beds, sometimes, and plant pansies and marigolds. They're pretty durable. They make the brambles look less ugly." Something about the look on Jared's face made Jensen say, "What? I can't plant some flowers?"
"Sure, sure," Jared said hastily.
Jensen scowled, apparently unconvinced. "And I do a few things around the castle, too, like make sure the hinges are oiled so princes can burst through them, if any make it inside, like you. I also dust Princess Aurora every now and then, and comb her flaxen hair." He wrinkled his nose. "Nobody wants to kiss a dusty, unkempt princess."
"True." Jared tilted his head to one side, and then nodded toward the princess. "So you gave it a try?"
"What?"
"Laying one on her."
"Uh," Jensen said, and turned the prettiest shade of pink Jared had ever seen. "Just once. I mean, you know. She's asleep. And she looks like she's sixteen, tops."
"Yeah," Jared said. "I know." That skeevy feeling was coming back over him.
"But I figured I owed it to the kingdom to try. Since I'm a man, and all, even though I'm not a prince like you."
"Thoughtful of you," Jared said drily, and when Jensen laughed, Jared didn't try to stop the grin that came over his own face in response.
"So, am I the first prince to make it all the way inside?"
"More or less." At Jared's questioning look, Jensen added, "There was the really old one last year, who had a heart attack when he saw her."
"So I guess there's no precedent for this." Jared scratched his head, and tried not to stare too much at Jensen, who was wearing black breeches and boots, and a laced top of soft-looking brown homespun under which the hollow of his throat was very invitingly bared. It was disrespectful, what with Jared's future wife laying right there just feet away.
"Nope." Jensen glanced at Jared, tugged at the laces on his shirt, and then turned away to fiddle with the train of Princess Aurora's dress.
"I suppose I could look around the castle and see if there's some spell I'm supposed to do, or something."
"I could help you. If you want." Jensen looked so hopeful, Jared didn't have the heart to say no. Not that he was really inclined to say no anyway, what with Jensen's bare throat and the tight breeches and all being so attractively interesting.
"Okay. But you stay behind me, just in case it's dangerous in here."
"I've been around this place for years, and I can take care of myself." Now Jensen looked pissed off, and that was an attractive look on him, too, stubborn and cranky and cute.
Jared stared at him a moment. "You know how to fight?"
"Sure."
"Use a sword?"
"I'm great with a sword."
Something about the way Jensen said it made Jared cough a bit. He caught himself absently fondling the hilt of his own sword, and dropped his hand quickly. Jensen lifted an eyebrow.
"Well, come on then," Jared said, as he stomped off toward the upstairs. A moment later, Jensen followed behind him.
The castle showed its many years of neglect, from decrepit rooms to mossy walls, but Jared could also tell where Jensen had applied a caring touch. Flowers decorated the bedroom of the King and Queen, and the tapestries were clean. By the time they'd been through the castle top to bottom, Jared was beat, perplexed, and also starving. "There any food here that isn't dried up and dusty?" he asked.
"There's a huge kitchen downstairs, and if you can pull some vegetables for lunch, I make a mean pot of soup," Jensen answered.
"Sounds awesome. Lead the way," Jared said, mostly because he was super-lost and needed the help to get back to the kitchens, and not at all because he wanted to get a good look at Jensen's amazing ass.
As they passed Princess Aurora, Jared gave her another experimental peck - a combo this time, one on the nose and one on the lips - but he was kind of relieved that it didn't work, because if she'd suddenly come to life, he was going to miss out on what might be a very satisfying lunch.
**
Pulling vegetables was harder than it seemed, and as a result, Jared scratched his face on the brambles while crawling around in the dirt beneath. Jensen scolded him when he returned, and before Jared knew what hit him, he was seated by the fire with Jensen hovering, dabbing at the cut and looking worried. The last time anyone had seemed so worried about Jared, he'd been ten. But somehow, he couldn't bring himself to order Jensen to stop fussing; he just closed his eyes while Jensen salved the wound.
"The princess won't like it if you aren't pleasing to her eye when she wakes," Jensen said softly, his thumb brushing over Jared's face.
"As long as she's grateful, I guess she'll get over it," Jared said, rubbing his jaw. His fingers just happened to brush Jensen's. Totally by accident.
Jensen looked inexplicably sad when he withdrew his hand.
Jared cleaned the vegetables in a very manly way while Jensen did mysterious kitcheny things, and before long, the soup was bubbly in the cast-iron pot. Jared slurped his way happily through several bowls with a side of biscuits. "It's so good, Jensen," he said, and wasn't even embarrassed that he moaned a little when he said it. That encounter with the dragon had earned him a good meal.
"Glad you like it." Jensen rubbed his nose, leaving a smudge of flour there, and favored Jared with a pleased smile. Jared could have sworn that when he smiled, a pink sparkle floated through the air. He leaned forward, staring hard, as a blue sparkle followed it, drifting gently past Jensen's nose.
"Uh-oh," Jensen said.
"What, uh-oh?" Jared swatted at the overly large bottlefly buzzing around his head and spooned up the last of the soup from his bowl.
"We have company."
"Maybe you should eat something," Jared said, as he reached for the pot to dish Jensen out a helping. "You look kind of pale."
"He means us, dear," came a voice from somewhere around Jared's elbow. He jerked back, dropping the spoon with a clatter, and stared at the tiny pink fairy lighting on the rough-hewn wooden table. Next to her, two other itsy bitsy fairies drifted in, one blue, one green, and if he squinted, he could more or less tell they were female, and smiling.
Jared looked accusingly at Jensen. "What the hell did you put in this soup, anyway?"
"Now, now, language, dear!" The tiny pink fairy clucked at him, and a burst of pink sparkle aimed his way caused Jared to recoil in alarm. "We had to come for a visit, you see!"
"To learn what's become of the first prince to make his way in since-"
"That unfortunate incident," said the green one.
"Oh, yes yes, terrible, wasn't it?"
Jared rubbed his eyes and when that didn't help, he turned back to Jensen, who shrugged, a half-smile on his face.
"Um, Prince Jared, let me introduce Mistress Merriweather, Mistress Flora, and Mistress Fauna." They flitted forward as he mentioned their names, and Jared took another step back.
"So pleased!" said Flora.
"So charmed!" said Fauna.
"My, you are a large one, aren't you?" said Merriweather, as she shimmied down his arm.
"Hey," Jared said, frantically waving his arm. "What are you?"
"Why, we're the Princess Aurora's fairy godmothers!" Flora said brightly.
"We enchanted her," Fauna added. "To sleep, instead of to die, and to be awakened by-"
"I'm sure we're all familiar with that part of the story," Jared said. "But I kissed her, and she didn't wake up."
"What?" Flora exclaimed. "Oh, dear, oh dear. This won't do. It won't do at all." The three of them converged into a glittering mass of sparkles and chattered softly together.
"They stop by sometimes," Jensen said, as he moved closer to Jared. When their shoulders were touching, Jared relaxed, oddly soothed by the contact. "They don't mean any harm. They're like...interfering aunts."
"Oh," Jared said, and then he got it completely. His Aunt Ariel had been trying to pimp him out since he was of age.
A green mass appeared in mid-air before Jared's face. "Young man," said the little fairy, "we've concluded that it must be something about you."
"Excuse me?" Jared huffed forcefully enough that Merriweather was blown back a couple inches. "I'm a prince from the best family in ten neighboring kingdoms. I killed that dragon with one whack. I'm awesome."
"Clearly there's some problem," sniffed Fauna.
"Perhaps it's your technique, dear." Flora settled on his shoulder and whispered in his ear, "Not every man is a satisfactory kisser, after all."
"Not every man is me, lady," Jared hissed, batting at his ear.
"Oh, my, we've insulted him!" Flora said from somewhere over his head, and then she settled on his other shoulder. "Dear oh dear. Perhaps it's just an issue of practice."
"I've had plenty of practice," Jared said through gritted teeth.
"We're just trying to help," Fauna said, and all of a sudden, she was both full size and way, way too close to him as she popped into focus. "And you may practice on me!"
"And me!" offered Flora brightly.
Before Merriweather could offer up herself as sacrifice, too, Jared cut a hand through the air. "Hold it! I am not going to kiss a bunch of fairies!"
"Oh, pooh," Flora said, and she looked so put out, Jared almost felt sorry for her, before he remembered he was a prince with manly dignity which had been unjustly impugned. "Well, perhaps you could kiss just one of us, then."
"All right. One of you. ONE," Jared agreed loudly, as they all surged forward, hands clasped. "You," he said, pointing to Flora with a hand that definitely wasn't shaking, while Jensen hid a smile under his hand, damn him.
Flora crowded up against him and closed her eyes, then lifted her face to his. The other two tittered. Jensen rolled his eyes, and Jared leaned down, closer, closer...fairy dust flew up his nose and he turned his head to sneeze...and then he closed the distance and kissed Flora like it was his last chance to kiss a girl. He could sort of feel her girdle slipping about a bit as he embraced her, but he ignored it, since his reputation was on the line.
After a long moment, he released her, and she stepped back, a decidedly calculating expression on her face as she regarded him. "Well?" he asked.
"Well, dear, it was...quite adequate." She smacked her lips, nodded, and said, "Quite average, in fact."
"Average??" Jared crossed his arms. "That's it?"
"You have to understand, dear, Flora is the best judge of such things," Fauna said. She patted his shoulder kindly. "Don't be ashamed."
"I'm not ashamed!" Jared roared, and sighed when all of them except for Jensen cringed away. He gentled his tone. "Look, I've never had any complaints."
"Perhaps you've never had anyone as discriminating as the Princess Aurora." Flora eyed him in such a critical way that or me was totally implied, and Jared had dropped his stare even before he realized it. "But all isn't lost! There is much we can do! Jensen, do go and fetch the mirror from the hallway."
"What for?" Jared asked, just as Fauna said, "Oh, no, you mustn't! You know it's forbidden to bring the tales together!"
"Just this once," Flora soothed, patting Fauna's arm as she wrung her hands together. "There there, Fauna, all will be well! We really have no choice. There isn't anyone else to instruct him."
"He won't be happy!" Merriweather said glumly.
"Who won't?" Jared looked from one to the other, but got no answer.
Jensen marched back into the room with a largeish mirror, one of those garish ornate things that were all over the castle. He set it down on the counter and wiped it with the edge of his sleeve, which eradicated most of the grime. "This all right?" he asked Flora, who beamed at him.
"Perfectly wonderful!" She lifted her wand and waved it around a bit, leaking sparkles as it circled in the air. "Hold it up, Jensen! I must enchant it!"
"Wait a minute," Jared said, but Merriweather said urgently, "Hush, dear!" and so he clammed up.
"Magic mirror on the wall, come to us and heed our call," Flora sang gaily. "This disruption for one day, and then we'll send you on your way."
Flora waved her wand, and the mirror darkened, became fathomless. From the depths, a face emerged, something dark and terrifying...and male.
"Who has summoned me?" it demanded, as it stared out from the black.
"We have! Hello, Magic Mirror! Hello!" Flora said, and she shoved Jared in front of the mirror, while Jensen held it up.
"You are not my queen," the Mirror said as it gazed upon him.
"Obviously, duh," Jared said.
"Magic Mirror, we're sorry for, um, borrowing you from your regular duties, but we need your help!" Flora said.
"Yes indeed! Prince Jared needs some instruction on how to awaken a princess!" Fauna added.
"For this, you have summoned me from my proper tale?" The Mirror scowled at Jared, and he felt its distinct disapproval. "Thou art not the fairest of them all."
"Hey, man, I don't need your validation. I do all right," Jared shot back.
"I am surprised this vessel did not break when your countenance first appeared before it," the Mirror answered.
"Yeah, well, you're not exactly prime kissing material, either," Jared growled. "Chicks aren't gonna be lining up for your ugly ass, if you know what I mean."
"I have been consort to queens!" boomed the Mirror.
"Well, so have I," Jared said.
Jensen lowered the Mirror and mouthed, really?
"What? I have! You think I didn't get around before this? Queens get lonely!" Jared motioned to Jensen to raise the mirror back up. Jensen gave him a dubious look, but he raised the thing and held it at face-level. When Jared was eye to eye with it again, he added, "It's a job, right? You make me a better kisser, I wake the princess up and we live happily ever. It's a job for both of us. Get over yourself."
They glowered at each other for a moment, until Flora tapped Jared on the nose with her wand. "Well, dear, I think you have this in hand, so we'll just leave you to it. Jensen, darling, you will be sure to put the mirror back on the wall when it has finished its work?"
"Sure," Jensen said agreeably from somewhere behind the mirror.
"You're such a darling," cooed Merriweather.
"Pity you weren't born a prince," Fauna said, with a pointed look at Jared. And then with a flurry of fairy dust, they disappeared with a POOF.
"Nice," Jared shouted after them. "Thanks for that."
Jensen said, "They come around every so often. I think they're lonely."
"Whatever." Jared squared his shoulders and took a calculating look at the Mirror. Its face floated behind the cold surface, unappealing and grumpy. The idea of kissing that made him shudder.
As if it read his mind, the Mirror narrowed its eyes and said, "As I have been tasked with educating you, I shall endeavor to appear more presentable." In the blink of an eye, its form changed, to the face of the lovely Princess Aurora, smiling and batting her eyelashes at Jared.
"You may kiss me now," the Mirror intoned in its regular, scary voice, completely shattering the illusion.
"There is nothing wrong with my kissing," Jared growled.
"I will be the judge of that." The Mirror frowned, drawing together Princess Aurora's brows in a most unpleasant way that reminded Jared of his nanny. "Kiss me immediately."
Jared sighed, leaned in, and pressed his lips to the mirror, which felt...like a mirror.
"Unacceptable," the Mirror said, the moment Jared's lips were off him.
"There was nothing wrong with that kiss, either." Jared glared at the Mirror.
The Mirror gazed implacably at him, as if trying to figure him out. Then it began shifting, changing its form. "Perhaps you must be suitably inspired," it said, and a flash of a handsome face appeared, wide green eyes and a dazzling smile.
Jared shifted nervously. This wasn't in the plan. The face in the mirror sharpened, became clearer, and then an image of Jensen was looking out at him thoughtfully. "Try again," the Mirror said, sounding less bizarre while wearing a male face.
"No." Jared folded his arms. It was the principle of the thing.
"You waste my time, princeling."
"Yeah, well, you're a lousy kisser. You're cold and two-dimensional."
The Mirror resumed its normal face and glowered at him. "Racist."
"That's it." Jared pulled out his sword. "Seriously, go back to wherever you came from, or I'm going to-"
"As you wish. But you deceive yourself, princeling. See yourself as clearly I see you, and all shall become clear." The Mirror wavered, then faded from view.
"What did it mean by that?" Jensen said, lowering the mirror enough for Jared to see his eyes. His bright green, beautifully confused eyes.
"Nothing." Jared glanced around the room. "Are those fairies spying on us?"
"I don't know," Jensen said. "They come and go as they please."
"Well, then I can't stay here." Jared thought for a moment. "Maybe you could take me to your place."
"Seriously?" Jensen's face lit up as if someone had just handed him a cupcake. "But I live in a cottage out in the woods. It's not really fit for a prince."
"Do you dust it more often than you dust this place?" Jared asked. Jensen looked immediately offended. Jared grinned. "Well, then, it's perfect."
**
Jensen's cottage was perfectly suitable for hiding from fairies with agendas. It was small, but hidden far back in the woods, and the farther from the castle they got, the happier Jared felt. He whistled a bit on the dirt path to Jensen's front door, and was startled when a bird appeared from nowhere, flying alongside his head, and tweeting happily along with his random song.
"The hell?" Jared said, ducking.
"Oh, never mind her," Jensen said, giving the bird a fondly exasperated look. "She thinks you sing beautifully."
"Well, at least someone thinks I can do something right." Jared stopped dead in the path. "Wait, you understand her?"
"Um." Jensen shrugged his shoulders and kicked his foot out a little, and that's when Jared noticed the bunnies clustered around Jensen's feet, looking eagerly up at him as if a long-lost friend had just come home.
A slow smile spread across Jared's face. "You're full of surprises, aren't you?"
Jensen turned away and fumbled with the doorknob, and Jared raised an eyebrow at the bunnies--and one fawn that had just galloped up--as they crowded in behind Jensen. "May I?" he said, and the animals all turned to stare at him. He stepped over them, in through the door, and closed the bottom half of it without letting the animals in, ignoring the outraged thump near the base of the door.
"So," Jensen said. He stood in the center of the room, shifting from foot to foot. "If you're tired, the bed is in there." He pointed to the doorway on the left.
"I could use a nap," Jared said. "Dragon-slaying is pretty exhausting." He omitted the part about how all the insults to his manhood were wearing him down, too. He sat down on the chair by the banked fire and pulled off his boots, then put his sword with them. "You sure you don't mind?"
"Nope," Jensen said, staring at Jared's wiggling toes. "Go right ahead."
Jared smiled. "It's really kind of you."
"Think nothing of it." Jensen opened the bedroom door and then busied himself puttering around the room. Jared watched him for a second, then yawned hugely. The bed was calling.
Jared stretched out on the fresh-smelling sheets and fluffed up Jensen's pillow. Seconds later, he was asleep.
When he woke, sometime in the late night, he sat up with a start. Jensen was stretched out beside him, curled away from Jared as if he'd tried not to wake him. A rough blanket was stretched over Jared, but Jensen was without a blanket, bare-chested and in only his trousers.
Jared gently pulled the blanket up and across Jensen, who shifted closer to Jared and murmured sleepily, something Jared couldn't understand. "Hush," Jared said, smoothing a hand across Jensen's shoulders. At his touch, Jensen sank back into sleep.
Jared stared at Jensen, and then at his hand, and then at Jensen's lips. Then he whispered, "Uh-oh."
**
In the morning, Jared snuck out for his boots and sword before Jensen awoke, and crept out into the dewy forest to be alone with his thoughts. He was greeted outside the door by a menagerie consisting of three fawns, one owl, five birds of assorted sizes and colors, an entire family of bunnies, and a raccoon. Immediately they began chattering at him, and he held up a hand. "Hey," he said. "You'll have to wait for the translator."
One of the fawns ran up and butted against him, nudging him back toward the cabin. "Uh, no," Jared said. "Jensen needs his beauty sleep."
Another nudge, more insistent.
"I'll go back in a little while, okay?"
The little deer gave a sort of doubtful snort, but it scampered back to its friends. Then they all just stared at him while Jared walked around back to the woodpile and sat down. His father had taught him to be strong and logical, so that was what he was going to be.
Sleeping princess immune to his charms: check. Except, no one was ever immune to Jared's charms; such a thing was totally unthinkable.
He thought about the Mirror's pronouncement that his kissing was unacceptable, and the fairy's disdain for his technique, and looked down at his hand again. "I know I'm not doing it wrong," he told it. His hand lay there limply, declining to argue. He lifted it up, tried to picture Princess Aurora's face, and started smooching his hand. He gave it plenty of tongue, too, just to prove that he knew how. But then a strange thing happened; in his mind, the lips touching his changed, became softer, and attached to a familiar smile.
Jensen's smile.
A peal of laughter from behind him caused Jared to startle and drop his hand. Jensen stood there, holding his belly and laughing in a way that should have made Jared want to take his sword and run Jensen through immediately for daring to insult him so. But the sound of Jensen's laugh did funny things to Jared's insides, and he stood there dumbstruck, allowing a peasant to mock him. Jensen's smile was so warm, and his laugh so endearing....
"Seriously?" Jensen said. "Your hand?"
Jared smiled thinly and put his hands in his pockets. Where they belonged.
"I'm sorry," Jensen said, and his laugh faded out. "I didn't mean to make fun of you."
"It's okay. I probably needed to be made fun of." Jared shuffled his feet, and looked at Jensen and then away, and generally stood there feeling unaccountably awkward, until Jensen came over and put a hand on his shoulder.
"I really am sorry." He squeezed Jared's shoulder, his hand warm and strong, and then said, "Want to take breakfast out to the field? I have some chores to do, but I thought-"
"Definitely," Jared said, distracted by the way his whole body was attempting to get closer to the warmth of Jensen's hand. His stomach growled, and he realized that the last thing he'd had was Jensen's delicious soup the night before. "I could eat a live bear."
A horrified squawk and bunny squeak from behind him, and Jared winced. Furious bunny chatter made Jensen's lips twitch, and then Jensen was laughing again, such a wonderfully open laugh that soon, Jared was laughing, too.
They gathered up some ale and cheese and bread into a basket, and then Jared followed Jensen as he led the way through the forest and into a small clearing. The sun was shining, a gentle breeze moving the trees, and for the first time in a long time, Jared felt happy for no reason. Sure, he still had the princess problem to solve, but they had time. It wasn't like she was going anywhere.
Jensen set the basket down in a spot surrounded with pink and purple wildflowers and said, "We could eat first, before I chop the wood," and Jared said at the same time, "Stay with me for a while?" They blinked at each other, and then Jared sat down, patted the grass right next to him. Jensen grinned, and flopped down there, reaching for the basket.
They shared slices of pungent cheese and day-old crusty bread, and some brew that burned the back of Jared's throat in a way the refined wines his mother foisted on him never did. The field smelled of fresh flowers, and the sun hit Jensen's skin in such a way that each freckle on his skin seemed to glow. Jared was transfixed by the sight of his throat, and he tried substituting Aurora in his mind, but every time, her face faded away like something not real. Jensen was very real, and very present.
"So, Prince Jared." Jensen passed Jared the bottle; their fingers brushed gently together.
"I like it better when it's just Jared. Too many people get hung up on the prince part." Jared took a long swallow of the bitter ale and passed the bottle back.
"Okay, Jared." Jensen put the bottle to his lips; Jared was mesmerized by the way his throat moved as he swallowed. Before he could tell himself no, he reached out and traced the hollow of Jensen's throat. Jensen tilted his head back, let him touch. "So what would you do if you weren't a prince?" The deep vibration of his words made Jared's fingertips tingle.
Jared pulled his hand away. He rolled over on his stomach in the soft warm grass and rested his chin on his folded arms. "I never thought about it."
"Never? Not even once?"
"I guess I was brought up to think only of the kingdom. I'm a prince. It's what I do. It's what I'll always do."
"And princes get married and have more princes."
"Or princesses." A stab of regret went through Jared. He sighed. "What about you? What are you going to do with your life?"
"Oh, you know. I'll probably leave the village and go to school. Become a doctor or a lawyer. Maybe a veterinarian. I'm good with animals."
"So I see," Jared said, as a bunny clambered over Jensen's legs to perch on his knees. Jensen picked it up by the scruff of its neck and set it on his lap, then petted it absently. "They love you."
"Guess I'm kind of loveable," Jensen said, not looking at him.
"Jensen." Jared reached out and patted the bunny on the rump. It scampered off Jensen's lap as Jared took hold of Jensen's hand. He ran his fingers across the lines on Jensen's palm, against the callused pads of his fingers, roughened by work.
"You know," Jensen said, raising his gaze to Jared's, "you don't have to use your hand. For practice, I mean. I'm...I know I'm not...her, but-"
"You're definitely not her." Jared leaned closer, until he could feel Jensen's quick breaths on his face. His nose bumped Jensen's. Jensen made a small noise of disbelief, and Jared just...couldn't help it. He had to do it. He pressed his lips to Jensen's, slow and soft at first, then deeper, gentle licks of tongue until Jensen's breath caught. Jared curled his fingers around Jensen's and held on tight while he worked his way inside Jensen's mouth.
Around them, the birds burst into cheery song, and when Jared lifted his head, he could have sworn there were pink sparkles in the air. Or maybe that was just his vision shorting out behind that spectacular kiss. Jensen's eyes were still closed, and his lips were parted, as if he was waiting for Jared to kiss him again. So Jared did, but this time, he pushed Jensen onto his back and began to tug at the buttons on his shirt.
"Jared." Jensen caught his hands. "I know this isn't forever. I don't want to be in the way."
"Shh," Jared said, brushing his lips across Jensen's. "I can't practice if you're talking."
"You don't need any practice." Jensen's hand cupped the back of Jared's neck and he ran his lips across Jared's jaw, over the fast pulse in his neck. "You're perfect, just as you are."
No one in Jared's life had ever said those words to him. He stared at Jensen for a moment, searching for any sign of insincerity. It wouldn't be the first time some peasant had sucked up to him. Or sucked him. Same difference. But Jensen seemed entirely earnest, which made Jared want to kiss him more.
They kissed for what seemed like hours, until Jensen was writhing beneath Jared in the grass, his shirt off, and his hands grasping at Jared's body. Jared stripped Jensen down completely, and himself, and there in a field full of wildflowers, he took Jensen, who gasped and cried out and basically fulfilled Jared's every wet dream there on his knees in the waving grass. His skin tasted of sunlight and salt, and when Jared was inside Jensen, moving slow and deep, he felt for a moment that with Jensen, he was complete, and that this was meant to be.
After they were both sated, Jared lay silently beside Jensen on the blanket, his fingers twined with Jensen's. Jared wasn't sure what to say. Everything that occurred to him was wrong, like, 'let's ditch this forest and shack up at my palace', and 'you're so pretty when you come, even if it was really messy', and 'my, what big beautiful eyes you have, Jensen'. None of it was really what he meant at all, and he couldn't promise anything, anyway. He had princesses to wake. Kingdoms to rule. Jensen wasn't really any part of that, and it just wasn't fair.
"Come on," Jensen said. He'd been dressing while Jared was brooding. Jared sighed, and pulled on his own clothes. No point in dilly-dallying any longer. Jensen reached out a hand to Jared, helped him to his feet. Jared stood there for a moment, the castle looming dark above them. Jensen touched his elbow. "We'll think of something."
"Sure." Jared nodded, though every instinct he had was screaming at him to throw Jensen on his trusty steed and get the hell out of there. Wouldn't even matter what direction they went. But he was born a prince, and he had a job to do.
"I'll still be here," Jensen said softly. "However you need me. I'll help, if I can."
Jared sighed. He wrapped Jensen up in his arms, just long enough to remind himself what he would be giving up; Jensen held on tight. And then he let Jared go.
One foot in front of the other, they made their way back to the castle, side by side.
**
Nothing had changed at the castle, though the lingering smell of soup reminded Jared they had barely been gone a day. He stood in the kitchen and pondered his problems. Beautiful princess, still unconscious. Gorgeous peasant, with skin that tasted like sunbeams and-
A distinctly feminine giggle pierced the silence of the kitchen.
Jared turned to stare at Jensen. "Did you hear that?"
"I thought I imagined it," Jensen said. "Sometimes it gets a little creepy here with all these-"
"Shhh!" Jared held out a hand to Jensen, listening to the sounds of clanking in the hallway. He pulled his sword and ran to the hallway, and there he found three guards, long asleep, stirring as if waking from long dreams. He turned then toward the steps and took them two at a time, bounding up to the tower room where the princess lay.
Except, she wasn't in repose anymore; she was cuddled up cozily to some skinny dude, who had his arm around her like it belonged there.
"Who the hell are you?" Jared demanded, pointing the sword at him.
"I'm Prince Phillip." Phillip--who was just a kid--stood up and bowed. "I take it you're the prince who cut your way in here?"
"Prince Jared." Jared nodded to Princess Aurora, who was beaming at Phillip like he was the best thing since sliced bread. "Actually, I slayed the dragon AND cut my way in here."
"Oh, thank you!" Princess Aurora jumped up, pretty sprightly for a chick who had been sacked out for a hundred years, and ran to Jared. She gave him a peck on the cheek. "You cleared the way for my true love to awaken me, and therefore my kingdom!"
Jared gave her a lopsided smile. "You know," Jared said, raising an eyebrow to Phillip, "this really isn't fair. I do all the work, and you get the, um, rewards?"
"Hey," Phillip said. "Not my fault you couldn't deliver true love."
"There is nothing wrong with my love," Jared said hotly. "Or my kissing! What is it with you people and the blaming?"
"Oh dear," Princess Aurora said softly. "Please don't be offended, Prince Jared. I do appreciate you trying! Besides, we owe our future happiness to you."
"We really do," Phillip said. He rose and extended his hand to Jared in a very princely way. "I'd like to thank you, too."
"Hmph," Jared said. Looking at the princess, with her contrite expression, and then at how Phillip positively turned to goo when she smiled at him, it was hard to stay irritated. He shook Phillip's hand, and was rewarded with a huge smile. It was hard to dislike the bastard. Jared sighed. Maybe they could compare notes on kissing. Maybe he could pick up some tips.
"Besides, dear," came a voice from behind him, "wouldn't you agree true love comes when you least expect it?"
Jared whirled around and found himself face to face with a flitting, beaming Merriweather, her wee hands clasped together. Behind her, illuminated by a cloud of extra-pink sparkles, Jensen was standing back, watching Jared with a hopeful, nervous smile on his face. Flora and Fauna hovered near Jensen's left shoulder, whispering to each other and giggling softly.
"Maybe," Jared said slowly. Jensen met his eyes, then looked away again, and Jared's heart made a distinct, impatient thump in his chest.
"Well, go on," Merriweather said, poking him in the ear with her wand.
Jared glanced around; everyone was looking at him expectantly, except for Jensen, who seemed poised to flee. Better hurry, then. He crossed the room in two steps and sheathed his sword so he could take Jensen's hands in his own.
"Hey," Jared said.
"Hey." Jensen's lips curled up into a wider smile, and he said, "So."
"You think maybe you could be happy living in a castle?" Jared said. "I mean, my castle is really comfortable, but it isn't as big as this one."
"Size isn't really one of your problems," Jensen said, grinning full-out now.
Flora, Merriweather, and Fauna all coughed at the same time. Phillip turned purple.
Jared shifted them around so his back was to their audience. In the process, he sort of, accidentally, crowded Jensen up against the wall. "My dad's kind of an asshole," he said softly, brushing his lips against Jensen's temple. "But he's right about one thing; I have a job to do. My life has been laid out for me since birth. It's going to be full of ceremonies and audiences and lots of boring balls and parties and affairs of state."
"You'll need help with all that," Jensen said. "I told you before, I'm very helpful."
"And loveable, don't forget." Jared shifted his hands to Jensen's hips, leaned in closer.
"You think?" Jensen breathed, his lips so close to Jared's, his words vibrated through Jared's body.
In answer, Jared kissed him. This time, the sparkles appeared out of nowhere, a combination of purply-blue and ultra-pink.
Behind him, Merriweather whispered loudly, "The sparkles are self-explanatory, don't you think?"
"They are very bright and gay," Fauna said.
"Especially the last part," Phillip muttered, followed by "Ow!"
"Mind your manners with our guests," Aurora said primly.
Jared smiled against Jensen's lips and said, "Promise me you won't ever jab me with an elbow and I'll be yours forever."
"Never," Jensen said fervently, and cupped his hand around Jared's head, brought him down for kisses and more kisses, until Jared was fairly convinced that he'd never need practice again.
**
The sound of birds singing outside the window dragged Jared up from a deep, contented sleep. He stretched and scratched his shoulder, and turned his face toward the music. "Good morning," he told the birds, who chattered back excitedly.
He rolled onto his side and propped himself up on one elbow so he could watch Jensen sleeping. Jensen was sprawled out across the white sheets, dark lashes against his cheeks, lips still swollen from all the kissing the night before. Freckles scattered across his chest, trailing down toward his belly and hips. Jared had been waking up to this pretty sight for a week, and every time it made him feel protective, like he should wrap Jensen in his arms and hide him from the world until he was sure Jensen was really his.
With one finger, he traced a path between the freckles on Jensen's chest. He pressed a kiss to each freckle as he passed it, and soon enough, Jensen stirred, and blinked his eyes open. Jared wasted no time taking Jensen's mouth, and when he was satisfied that he'd kissed Jensen stupid, he lifted his head. "Good morning, Prince Jensen," he said, was rewarded with Jensen's ridiculously happy smile.
"Good morning, my prince." Jensen tugged the sheet away from both of them and scooted over until he was in Jared's arms, skin to skin.
"My new in-laws woke me up with a lovely song this morning," Jared said, nuzzling at Jensen's throat.
"Hmmm," Jensen said. "They're setting up nests in that tree, you know." He pushed his fingers through Jared's hair, which made Jared want to purr.
"Better put up some curtains soon," Jared said. "Or their chicks might be scarred for life."
"About that," Jensen said. "Your father is having a hard time, you know."
"The sparkles get on his nerves." Jared sighed. "He's not really used to Technicolor."
"It's not just that." Jensen hooked his leg over Jared's hip. "He really wants heirs."
Jared snorted. "Well, I'm not into harems."
"Procreation, son!" Jensen said, in a reasonable and sort of scary imitation of King Jeffrey that made Jared laugh out loud.
"He'll get over it," Jared said, distracted easily by the gold-green-brown of Jensen's changeable eyes.
"I like kids," Jensen said.
"So do I, but you know. You're a man. I'm a very manly man. Nature has conspired against us."
"True," Jensen said. "But really, nothing is impossible when you have three fairies at your beck and call, desperate to meddle."
A stray sparkle drifted down to land on Jensen's nose when Jared kissed him there; Jared blew gently at it. "Okay," Jared said. "But I'm not ruining this girlish figure. Besides, I'm not the one who makes soup and hangs out with bunnies."
"Mmmm," Jensen said. He shifted his weight, pushed Jared on his back, and all parts of Jared woke up to the possibilities. "Point taken. But you know, I'm pretty sure that for this, we need practice."
"Lots and lots of practice," Jared agreed. He rolled his hips up, narrowing his eyes with pleasure when Jensen threw his head back, eyes closed.
Outside, the birds chirped with alarm when Jensen cried out, but the bunnies hushed them; after all, no one understood such things better than the bunnies.
Down in the throne room, King Jeffrey sharpened his sword and muttered about disobedient sons, as kings are wont to do. But inside their nicely appointed bedroom--in which there was a distinct absence of purple pillows--Jensen and Jared practiced kissing (and other shamelessly lustful acts) to their hearts' content, happily ever after.
THE END