J/D ficathon story: I, In This Darkness

Jun 19, 2006 21:35

For this year's Jack/Daniel ficathon, I was assigned to write for paian. :)

I, In This Darkness
Jack/Daniel, adult themes, established relationship; set in mid to late season four
12,200 words (77K)
Notes: Huge thanks to troyswann and brighidestone for their amazing beta skills.

I, In This Darkness

sg-1_fiction

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Comments 46

cofax7 June 20 2006, 05:17:43 UTC
OMG Destina fic! YAY!

::settles down to read::

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destina June 20 2006, 06:06:46 UTC
*hugs you and smiles*

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yeah. that's it. cofax7 June 20 2006, 06:15:16 UTC
And... I'm back. I'll have to read this again at some point earlier in the day, but it's lovely and elegaic and I just see doom around the corner. ::clings::

Honestly, I could totally see this happening, just stupid mistakes compounding one another, and Daniel just being Daniel. Used to having his team to rely on, and forgetting, maybe, that circumstances are different. That Hibbard isn't Jack and Metz isn't Sam. And for that lots and lots of people die. A hard thing, for Daniel to deal with.

I also love your Jack--he's Jack: smart and skilled and competent and caring and angry and so caring. I've been needing some really good Jack.

It's always good to see you post. Always.

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Re: yeah. that's it. destina June 21 2006, 07:58:12 UTC
I just see doom around the corner.

*nod* The interesting thing to me, in writing this, is that I wasn't quite sure where it might go, after. Daniel has to reconcile his issues, and then...and then. I don't know. *g* Leaving that question (all the questions) unresolved felt odd, but kind of cool.

I think your read on this is exactly right, too -- it's not his team, and I can see Daniel getting so caught up in being a scientist that he forgets all the other things he's learned. That'd be the danger of a mostly scientific team, and I was thinking about the nerdy geek squad we saw in seasons six and seven...that probably had a lot to do with it, subconsciously. *g*

Thanks for the lovely comments. :D

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katie_m June 20 2006, 05:59:12 UTC
Oh, Daniel. He doesn't like the gray areas, does he? Never has.

As always, I like how... centered your Jack is. He's always himself in your hands, even when he's cracking. (Which he isn't here.)

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destina June 20 2006, 06:03:35 UTC
There is a noticeable lack of Jack spackle in this story, it is true. I thought I'd apply the trowel to Daniel for a change. *g* Gray areas would seem to be tailor-made for Daniel, and yet...not. Anyway. Thanks, re the centeredness.

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green_grrl June 20 2006, 06:10:41 UTC
Fantasticness! It just builds and builds...

Starting off with "Special Ops Jack going all out to get to Daniel" -- pure yes!

I love Daniel taking his pain and projecting it onto Jack, that Jack would compare the kid to Charlie. But Jack never did, though he did compare it to "bad shit happens" in Iraq.

"Okay," Jack said, easily, the tone of someone who wants to console, an entirely reasonable, rational response to complete insanity. "Just so you know, that feeling passes."

This whole... *flails* Daniel learning from Jack how to deal with this shit, except not wanting to become those things he didn't like about Jack, but also needing to be able to incorporate those things into himself, and... yow!

He'd known it going in; it was just that he'd thought he'd eventually shift the paradigm. Foolish, perhaps; he'd never imagined himself as the thing that must shift.

Aaw, that's our headstrong, arrogant academic.

*loves*

Hmm, and you were worried about getting done in time. ;-)

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destina June 21 2006, 08:10:25 UTC
Starting off with "Special Ops Jack going all out to get to Daniel" -- pure yes!

I was so, so happy to have a chance to put just a little of that into the story, and build it in, via backstory.

This whole... *flails* Daniel learning from Jack how to deal with this shit, except not wanting to become those things he didn't like about Jack, but also needing to be able to incorporate those things into himself, and... yow!

*nod* Daniel has, to me, a really well-defined character arc, and they did actually deal with a lot of this in the show itself. I tend to get hung up on the roots of his crisis, in earlier seasons, because he's never been a pacifist. But I think he resisted the urge to become more military for a long time...it's interesting, to me.

Hmm, and you were worried about getting done in time.

Hee! Often, it's not the writing that takes the time; it's the revision. I was sweating it out. *g*

Thanks for the gorgeous feedback. Much appreciated. :)

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green_grrl June 21 2006, 08:30:03 UTC
*nod* Daniel has, to me, a really well-defined character arc, and they did actually deal with a lot of this in the show itself. I tend to get hung up on the roots of his crisis, in earlier seasons, because he's never been a pacifist. But I think he resisted the urge to become more military for a long time...it's interesting, to me.*wants to get all meta* :-) Starting with the movie, put a gun (or staff weapon) in his hand and self-defense or innocents on the line, no problem. But he had a much narrower view of "clear and present danger." And often he was the only devil's advocate (angel's advocate?) in the system, whether in the field or SGC policy (weapons vs. exploration). Like most of us, he believes killing is bad unless absolutely necessary. I think it was just really hard for him to learn that out there in the unknown, it's necessary far more often than he'd like. Because killing is yuck, and who wants to become inured to it? And OMG how did he become best friends with/fall in love with this guy who finds it so much easier to do ( ... )

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_minxy_ June 20 2006, 07:31:46 UTC
Oh. Oh, ow. And yet, because...

1. The idea of talking with Daniel at that moment made him think of punching Daniel right in the mouth, which he would never do while he was lucid and himself. But it was tempting.Elegant incorporation of Jack as dangerous guy who learns (the caveats: while lucid and himself, which mirrors so nicely the advice he gives Daniel later about either, or, and, but, therefore...) and someone who maintains a sense of humor. And still, in this wonderful trusting relationship that's working (existential angst notwithstanding) he can let himself get this frustrated with Daniel. Yay ( ... )

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destina June 21 2006, 08:18:55 UTC
And still, in this wonderful trusting relationship that's working (existential angst notwithstanding) he can let himself get this frustrated with Daniel.

I see this in canon, even in those times when they are not communicating well, because Jack comes around and makes right when he crosses lines. Daniel does, as well. I was thinking of several eps in seasons four and five, when I was writing this, eps where they step all over each other and their frustration is palpable -- and yet they manage to get their feelings across. That mutual respect is so lovely. :) I smiled when you mentioned the old married love, because it so is. I have a hard time now thinking of them any other way.

The dissociation of intellectual understanding and emotional understanding. Daniel has the former and Jack the latter; an awkward conversation that must happen (don't even think I don't remember that we were talking about that over another story, missy. Yes, you. I'm looking at you.)LOL! I remember. *g* You've hit that nail right on the head, though. It's ( ... )

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castalie June 20 2006, 09:36:02 UTC
Wow. Such a beautiful, intense story! It's a harsh one, a dark one in places and at the same time it's beautiful and powerful. I loved your Daniel and Jack and loved how you depicted their relationship.

Brilliant job!

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destina June 21 2006, 08:30:19 UTC
Thank you very much. :) The story did take a darker turn than I expected, but it gave me a chance to write them in old married comfort mode. Which is always fun. *g*

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