(Untitled)

[worththepowder]

With a surprising resemblence to the time a board of turnip-headed captains determined to rob me of the luxury of a commission and to return me to the cesspool of midshipmen, my c#%^ of a typist has denied me a story in favour of flinging me into this pit. I intend to make the best of it. I see young Snotty and Kennedy have already arrived. They

Comments

[fishforit]

Simpson.

Somehow I knew you would find your way here you loathsome no-good cheat. I should have known Pellew's bullet wouldn't be enough to keep you away from any place where an ounce of happiness and contentness exist.

Just know that here in this strange sense of an afterlife, the same rules do not always apply. Everyone here is not at your mercy. Nothing shall be rendered unto you. And you will no longer harm anyone especially Kennedy.

[worththepowder]

...I'm sorry, Snotty. You seem to have forgotten your place. Whatever your high-minded ideas of heaven may be, this place is no different than any other. A stronger man may assert himself, demand what is rightfully his. I always have what I want, and I am not about to give it up because little Snotty has a few nice words against it.

And Kennedy is mine, unarguably and irrevocably.

[fishforit]

Indeed, I have not forgotten my place. And I have not forgotten those days aboard the Justinian and the Indefatigable. It was my place to stand against you. I will do it again, if necessary.

So help me, you will not have Kennedy.

[worththepowder]

Does "Elegy in a Country Churchyard" mean anything to you, Snotty? What about the Inquisition in general?

*hisses* And I have already had Kennedy. Many times. You weren't so lucky, were you.

[women_suck]

A brief glance around this place will acquaint you with an action called "fangirling"

Your presence seems to have caused my typingwoman to do the very opposite. Which is strange, because I would say we had rather a lot in common.

[worththepowder]

I don't give a fig for "fangirling." If your foolish typist has a fig, however, or a good beef roast... It's rather late and I've not had supper.

[women_suck]

Though on second thoughts, perhaps I have a little more charm.

[worththepowder]

You don't need charm when you have power.

[spitfireblonde]

Well, aren't you a saponaceous schmuck.

[humane_agnostic]

A most elegant and accurate characterization, Mlle!

The phrase 'petty tyrant' also comes to mind, with an emphasis on the petty half of the verbal equation. We could also describe him as 'a morel with delusions of grandeur'. Or perhaps, to continue your example of alliteration, 'a sadistic schlep' (I quite like that one, myself). Or 'a scorbutic scoundrel'. 'A viscid villain', 'a wretched weever', 'a picayune poacher'...

Of course, my usual reference for men such as he is 'bullying scum', which I like to think makes up for in blunt honesty what it lacks in erudition.

[avifauna]

Or 'a scorbutic scoundrel'.

*peers at the OP* A singularly apt description, in this case, I suspect.

[humane_agnostic]

I'm glad to hear you say so too, Doctor. It's nice to know I'm not making unfounded assumptions.

[prince_des_mers]

H'm. While you're irritable, violent, and evil enough for me, you are unfortunately English.

Good day.

[worththepowder]

Have you got something against a king's man, sir?

[prince_des_mers]

Yes.

[laughing_mlle]

Your tone would have been enough, but my typist has told me of your deeds, M'sieur, and I'm confirmed in my immediate dislike of you. I think the phrase I'm searching for is

Bite me, asshat.

Yes, that sounds right.

[worththepowder]

I'll not have some little bint laughing at me!

[laughing_mlle]

*smiles brightly and laughs charmingly, fluttering her lashes* Oh, m'sieur, do play nice.