Oh, dear.

[dopumpkinsspoil]

*looks as worried as he possibly can with his rather fixed smile*

Oh, dear. I'm not at all clever, and I'm afraid I don't know what to do. I don't know how to make humans work, especially since I'm made out of wood--are there any people-fixers in this place? How do you make them work again when they're broken?

Will someone please fix my nice girl

Comments

[_greenified_]

I'm a bit of a healer, M Jack. Can I help in any way? How is she "broken" exactly?

[dopumpkinsspoil]

*worryworry* She's-- she's not working the right way. Things are all meant to work in a certain way, isn't that right? That's what I thought. Humans walk upright and they balance much better than I do, but she keeps falling over. She doesn't hear what I'm saying very well. It's something that's wrong with her head, I think. *frets* She ought to have a nice pumpkin! Then she could simply carve herself a new one!

Can humans' heads spoil?

[_greenified_]

*confused* Is her leg broken? I don't see how that would make it something the matter with her head, though.

*smiles wryly* No dear, I don't think humans' heads can spoil.

[dopumpkinsspoil]

It's not in her legs, Elphaba Thropp-Cohen. I've seen the Sawhorse when his leg was broken off, and it doesn't look like that. She touches her head first. Does that mean something? I think it might, but I don't know. She holds her arms out, too, the way I do when I'm balancing. What do you think it is?

*considers* That makes sense, you know. They have brains instead of pumpkin seeds, and they can't change their brains, so if brains spoiled, they wouldn't be able to get new ones, and that would be bad, I think. So I think it's good that they don't spoil.

[wishfor_goblins]

Don't think you can do that with humans. Depends how she's broken.

[dopumpkinsspoil]

She doesn't stay upright any more. She wobbles and falls over. *continues to worry quite a bit* Perhaps it's inside her. Are humans like mechanical things? Do their clockworks get spoiled inside?

[wishfor_goblins]

No, they don't. At least, I don't think so.

Maybe she's just...tired?

[dopumpkinsspoil]

Then I'm afraid I don't understand. *fret* But that's probably because I'm not at all clever.

Does that make humans get wobbly?

[_beloved_child]

Have you put her to bed and given her tea? That helps with most things.

[dopumpkinsspoil]

Really? If she were in bed, she wouldn't be upright, and then she couldn't fall. *perks up* Is tea a medicine? My father told me once that humans take medicines that make them better, the way machines get oiled and work again. Might that work, do you think?

[_beloved_child]

Yes, and bed means rest. *considers* Well, some teas are medicinal, but they're not medicine quite like that. Hot tea normally makes people feel better, though. Especially if they have colds or sore throats, just because it's hot.

[dopumpkinsspoil]

Rest? Oh! That's that thing humans do. When they close their eyes and don't hear things until you shake them a lot. I think that's right, anyway.

Oh. *ponders* Do you know how to make tea? I'm afraid I don't. I've never done it before, and it's very difficult to do anything when you've never done it before, especially if you're not very clever, the way I am.

[trusty_sidekick]

Get the dear girl to sleep, I should think. And if her head is the trouble, my typist recommends some sort of analgesic; I'm sure there is some sort around. She suggests caffeine for headaches, though I suppose not if sleep is desired, and it sounds like it is. The best cure for vertigo is to be no longer standing up.

Typist: YOU! LAY DOWN! NOW! OR ELSE! *STERN LOOK!*

[dopumpkinsspoil]

All right. *smilesmile* That's what everyone says, and everyone is very clever, so they're probably right. What does analgesic mean? I'm afraid I also have never heard of caffeine. It sounds smelly. Vertigo sounds like green things. You know so many words I've never heard! You must be very clever, then.

[trusty_sidekick]

*kindly smile* I'm a doctor, you see. It means that helping people is my job. An analgesic is something that makes pain go away. Your girl might have tylenol or aspirin or ibuprofen. Any of those are good.

No, no. I think I've proved of late is that I'm far from clever. But I do hope the girl feels better. Perhaps one of the other doctors could help you further, as I'm feeling a bit... ill... myself...

[dopumpkinsspoil]

*concern* Perhaps you should go to bed and have tea. It fixed my nice girl here. It may fix you, too. I know how to make tea now, too, and I can make some tea for you, if you don't mind someone like me trying to do it properly.

[oldmansmistakes]

I'm afraid I can add no advice to that which you were already given, but I do hope your lady friend is feeling better for it.

[dopumpkinsspoil]

*delight* Thank you. She's been fixed! The humans here are very clever, aren't they?