MJ's Not the Only One With a Man in the Mirror, Mix #3
The lovely and talented verbyna did a mix for my BBB! I've had it since the BBBs were posted, and now I get to share! Back when I first received the mix, I made notes, so I am going to share them all with you here!
The mix, Eyes Fixed On the Sun, can be found here and is just incredible! Please, if you enjoy it, drop her a line to let her know!
This is a mix a friend was inspired to do outside the BBB system. She was one of my alpha-readers, and she latched on so strongly to Quinn and Bert, that she wanted to do a mix just for them. And I certainly wasn’t about to tell her no thank you! Because I really do adore Quinn too, and hope his issues and struggles can be seen in the writing, even if he doesn’t get a lot of “screen time.”
”verbyna” Went through and sent me the lyrics she felt best represented a character or a moment in the story, and asked me to give her my notes on each set of lyrics. As I gave her my impressions, we found we were mostly in sync pretty much every step of the way. What struck me too, about this mix, is how raw it is. Sometimes it’s the music, sometimes the voice, and sometimes the words themselves. But you can hear it in every song, the slight desperation of an ex-lover as a friend, the need and of unrequited love, and the pain of bad choices.
It’s a gorgeous mix, and I hope everyone listens to it, to give (my version of) Quinn the recognition he deserves!
Thanks, V! I love you.
1. Watermark (The Weakerthans)
Speech will spill on space.
Our little cups of grace.
But pauses rattle on about the way that you cut the snow-fence,
braved the blood,
the metal of those hearts that you always end up pressing your tongue to.
How your body still remembers things you told it to forget.
This so perfectly summarizes Bert and Quinn in the beginning, when they were actually together, but had to break up because of Bert’s drugs and non-self-acceptance.
2. My Friend (Dr. Dog)
You can say you'll be back
but you won't ever go away
‘cause love that never leaves is never ever welcome back
and I'm running out of skin thick enough to hide in (won't go away)
Now hand in hand we're back in time we're chasing the train
Looking back looking back to wave goodbye
we're headed for the same disaster (don't give it up)
This made me “oh” out loud. Ex-lovers who remain friends never fully get over each other. At least, Quinn sure didn’t.
3. Love Punch (The Chalets)
At first you were a dream but now you're a nightmare
This kind of shit I have nothing to compare
I'm coming home to a punch or a kiss
You tell me it's your heart but I know it's your fist
I know you love me but you're fucking crazy
Ouch. That is all.
4. Carve Your Name (The Grates)
Carve your name into my heart, better than a tattoo or photograph
Put your face on a contact lens, only I have been to all the places we've seen and
Where am I gonna go gonna go it again
Carve your name (into my heart)
Poor Quinn. Trying to be strong against his feelings.
5. This Devil’s Workday (Modest Mouse)
I could buy myself a reason. I could sell myself a job.
I could hang myself on treason. All the folks I know are gone.
So I ate the wedding cake 'til the whole damn thing was gone.
And I'm gonna drown the ocean. Now ain't none o' that so wrong?
This one gets to me the most, I think. The line about the wedding cake. Gerard is in their lives now, and Quinn has to accept that. Can’t you just see him helping them move into their apartment, a smile on his face? *smooshes him with all the hugs*
6. Go Home, Get Down (Death from Above 1979)
So if you tell me that you'll have me never leave me til I die
Why try?
But if we're living and we're happy and I come back when I go
You will know
If Quinn is always there, why should Bert get sober or leave Gerard? Quinn is always there as backup.
7. If By "Gay" You Mean "Totally Freaking Awesome," Then Yeah, I Guess It's Pretty Gay (Des Ark)
Let’s go home alone together, let’s fuck
And let’s expect it when we don’t feel any better
There goes the best damn summer that we ever spent
Drinking on the porch, rolling our own cigarettes
Jumping up and down in our panties on the bed, screaming,
That was the best summer that we will ever have
And we believed it
Oh, boys. You can never recreate it. Having an (at first) angry affair isn’t going to make it any better.
8. On My Shoulders (The Dø)
Why would I have to quit if time makes me older
Why do they wonder why I never get bored?
And wow could I tell them that I'll never let go
But hey you're my man and they just don't understand
Someday you'll see that all I want is to please hold
Next time I'll try it another way
Quinn’s starting to understand just how deep in it he is, and how wrong it is. It isn’t what he wanted, not like this.
9. No One Sleeps When I'm Awake (The Sounds)
I've seen people losing all of their faith
before they knew what they were looking for
I swore I'd never ever do it again
till this day
I've got confessions to make
listen up
no one sleeps when I'm awake
Bert and Quinn in relation to Gerard. I can see both of them thinking they won’t do it again, they can’t betray Gee. But they still do.
10. Shake Me Down (Cage the Elephant)
I'll keep my eyes fixed on the sun
Turn back now it’s time for me to let go
Quinn knows what he needs to do. He was blinded, but he knows. He’s recalibrated his moral compass.
11. I Get Along (The Libertines)
You caught me in the middle dazed on the carpet
I was following the lines,
that move like more snakes thinking
Something ain't quite right
Time to break it off.
12. Sour Cherry (The Kills)
Shout when you wanna get off the ride
'Cause you crossed my mind, it crossed my mind
I'm a penny in a diamond mine
We could be movers,
We could be shakers
If we could just shake somethin' outta the blue
and get off the ride
Still about breaking it off, and coming clean. He needs to stop.
13. Every Night My Teeth Are Falling Out (The Antlers)
One dumb night I'll make a point to take in all the ballroom ground
One dumb night I'll take you out to the bar we both blacked out
One dumb night two bad decisions don't divide to cancel out
The future. It will never really be over for them. There will always be the temptation. And the temptation will be acted on.
14. Further from You (William Fitzsimmons)
I'm dead to you
you say we are friends but
what is a friend when
there is a man who
sleeps in your bed too
Everything's closer to the end but
I will get farther from you
They need emotional distance, but because of the band, they’ll never get it. They will always be too close, too near, and always fall into each other again.
The mix, Eyes Fixed On the Sun, can be found here and is just incredible! Please, if you enjoy it, drop her a line to let her know!
This is a mix a friend was inspired to do outside the BBB system. She was one of my alpha-readers, and she latched on so strongly to Quinn and Bert, that she wanted to do a mix just for them. And I certainly wasn’t about to tell her no thank you! Because I really do adore Quinn too, and hope his issues and struggles can be seen in the writing, even if he doesn’t get a lot of “screen time.”
”verbyna” Went through and sent me the lyrics she felt best represented a character or a moment in the story, and asked me to give her my notes on each set of lyrics. As I gave her my impressions, we found we were mostly in sync pretty much every step of the way. What struck me too, about this mix, is how raw it is. Sometimes it’s the music, sometimes the voice, and sometimes the words themselves. But you can hear it in every song, the slight desperation of an ex-lover as a friend, the need and of unrequited love, and the pain of bad choices.
It’s a gorgeous mix, and I hope everyone listens to it, to give (my version of) Quinn the recognition he deserves!
Thanks, V! I love you.
1. Watermark (The Weakerthans)
Speech will spill on space.
Our little cups of grace.
But pauses rattle on about the way that you cut the snow-fence,
braved the blood,
the metal of those hearts that you always end up pressing your tongue to.
How your body still remembers things you told it to forget.
This so perfectly summarizes Bert and Quinn in the beginning, when they were actually together, but had to break up because of Bert’s drugs and non-self-acceptance.
2. My Friend (Dr. Dog)
You can say you'll be back
but you won't ever go away
‘cause love that never leaves is never ever welcome back
and I'm running out of skin thick enough to hide in (won't go away)
Now hand in hand we're back in time we're chasing the train
Looking back looking back to wave goodbye
we're headed for the same disaster (don't give it up)
This made me “oh” out loud. Ex-lovers who remain friends never fully get over each other. At least, Quinn sure didn’t.
3. Love Punch (The Chalets)
At first you were a dream but now you're a nightmare
This kind of shit I have nothing to compare
I'm coming home to a punch or a kiss
You tell me it's your heart but I know it's your fist
I know you love me but you're fucking crazy
Ouch. That is all.
4. Carve Your Name (The Grates)
Carve your name into my heart, better than a tattoo or photograph
Put your face on a contact lens, only I have been to all the places we've seen and
Where am I gonna go gonna go it again
Carve your name (into my heart)
Poor Quinn. Trying to be strong against his feelings.
5. This Devil’s Workday (Modest Mouse)
I could buy myself a reason. I could sell myself a job.
I could hang myself on treason. All the folks I know are gone.
So I ate the wedding cake 'til the whole damn thing was gone.
And I'm gonna drown the ocean. Now ain't none o' that so wrong?
This one gets to me the most, I think. The line about the wedding cake. Gerard is in their lives now, and Quinn has to accept that. Can’t you just see him helping them move into their apartment, a smile on his face? *smooshes him with all the hugs*
6. Go Home, Get Down (Death from Above 1979)
So if you tell me that you'll have me never leave me til I die
Why try?
But if we're living and we're happy and I come back when I go
You will know
If Quinn is always there, why should Bert get sober or leave Gerard? Quinn is always there as backup.
7. If By "Gay" You Mean "Totally Freaking Awesome," Then Yeah, I Guess It's Pretty Gay (Des Ark)
Let’s go home alone together, let’s fuck
And let’s expect it when we don’t feel any better
There goes the best damn summer that we ever spent
Drinking on the porch, rolling our own cigarettes
Jumping up and down in our panties on the bed, screaming,
That was the best summer that we will ever have
And we believed it
Oh, boys. You can never recreate it. Having an (at first) angry affair isn’t going to make it any better.
8. On My Shoulders (The Dø)
Why would I have to quit if time makes me older
Why do they wonder why I never get bored?
And wow could I tell them that I'll never let go
But hey you're my man and they just don't understand
Someday you'll see that all I want is to please hold
Next time I'll try it another way
Quinn’s starting to understand just how deep in it he is, and how wrong it is. It isn’t what he wanted, not like this.
9. No One Sleeps When I'm Awake (The Sounds)
I've seen people losing all of their faith
before they knew what they were looking for
I swore I'd never ever do it again
till this day
I've got confessions to make
listen up
no one sleeps when I'm awake
Bert and Quinn in relation to Gerard. I can see both of them thinking they won’t do it again, they can’t betray Gee. But they still do.
10. Shake Me Down (Cage the Elephant)
I'll keep my eyes fixed on the sun
Turn back now it’s time for me to let go
Quinn knows what he needs to do. He was blinded, but he knows. He’s recalibrated his moral compass.
11. I Get Along (The Libertines)
You caught me in the middle dazed on the carpet
I was following the lines,
that move like more snakes thinking
Something ain't quite right
Time to break it off.
12. Sour Cherry (The Kills)
Shout when you wanna get off the ride
'Cause you crossed my mind, it crossed my mind
I'm a penny in a diamond mine
We could be movers,
We could be shakers
If we could just shake somethin' outta the blue
and get off the ride
Still about breaking it off, and coming clean. He needs to stop.
13. Every Night My Teeth Are Falling Out (The Antlers)
One dumb night I'll make a point to take in all the ballroom ground
One dumb night I'll take you out to the bar we both blacked out
One dumb night two bad decisions don't divide to cancel out
The future. It will never really be over for them. There will always be the temptation. And the temptation will be acted on.
14. Further from You (William Fitzsimmons)
I'm dead to you
you say we are friends but
what is a friend when
there is a man who
sleeps in your bed too
Everything's closer to the end but
I will get farther from you
They need emotional distance, but because of the band, they’ll never get it. They will always be too close, too near, and always fall into each other again.