Too sexy

[denise_bauer]

Hey Brad, there I was perusing the latest issue of People at the checkout counter, you know, their big "Sexiest Man Alive" issue, and guess who they chose as the "Sexiest Lawyer of 2005"?

Comments

[brad_chase]

Dear Lord. Denny Crane. And we just skated by his sexual harassment suit. His publicist is killing us.

[brad_chase]

What are you doing? Don't encourage those clowns.

[denise_bauer]

And let's get back to why you being named on this list is such a shock to you. Are you embarrassed?

[brad_chase]

*indignantly defensive* No.

It's not professional. It detracts from the work at hand. I spent my whole career representing wholesome values. No one has ever called me... what did they call me?

[denise_bauer]

Sexy? Everyone, professional or not, wants to be thought of as sexy.

[brad_chase]

There's a place for that - and it's not in a national magazine. Or in our law firm. Or anyplace Shore can see it.

Oh, God. I have court this afternoon.

[denise_bauer]

Therein lies the problem. Alan Shore. Believe me, he would not be reacting the way you are. He would revel in it. It would be an excuse for him to hire more attractive assistants.

[brad_chase]

That's not a problem. I assure you. He and I are - nothing alike.

Denise. Listen to me. Do you want to be known for being a great attorney - or a hot attorney.

[denise_bauer]

The way I see it, being exceptional in your chosen field is sexy. That's why you were chosen. "Sexy" and "Hot" have two different meanings, as far as I am concerned. Sexy is classy. Hot is cheap.

[brad_chase]

Ok. *considers* I like where you're going with this. How's this: it's tantamount to... *struggles getting the word out* arousing the juries intellect. It's a provocative, shall we say, conduit to persuade a decision-maker with regards to our clients welfare. *concludes dramatically* It is - in its most elemental definition - the epitome of assurance for survival. *nods, very pleased* As metaphors go, being designated... *still struggles with the word* sexy is a professional validation.

[denise_bauer]

Brad, you are clearly not "harmonic" with who you are and how others may perceive you.

[brad_chase]

Hey, pot. It's me. Kettle. *smirks* I know perfectly well who I am. As for the others, let's see: Tara thinks I make a fool of myself, Lori undermines me, Sally - I can't even explain. They've been most vocal. If a bunch of strangers think I'm... *stalls by wiping a smudge off his watch face* sexy, it's more about what they need than who I am.

And, seriously - with the harmonics?

[denise_bauer]

I'm feeling a quiet screaming disharmony here. You are getting a bit worked up over this. Lighten up. It's good PR for you and you need it.

[brad_chase]

I need the pr? What about recognition on the merits, being prepared, my record. This isn't some Hollywood popularity contest.

*each attempts to out-stare the other* OK. I do take some degree of satisfaction that it's me, not him.

[denise_bauer]

And because he didn't make the list, you can be sure that Alan will not be able to resist making a smug comment, particularly when it pertains to you. But you can easily render him speechless by saying three little words: Zozo the Clown.

[brad_chase]

*checks his watch again* He's getting slow in his old age.