Through the crown of the sakura tree - 32
Author: Hikaru Del Sogno
Fandom: DB5K
Pairings: Changmin x Junsu (MinSu), Yoochun x Junsu, Yunho x Jaejoong
Genre: Romance, Angst
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: They are not mine.
“So… there is a pattern here,” Kibum tapped on his chin as he looked at a diligent Changmin at work.
“What pattern?”
“All those you’ve been sleeping with play the piano. Isn’t that a pattern? I wonder who the first pianist you’ve fucked is, because he or she must be the reason why it all started.”
“I didn’t know you keep a record of my sex life,” Changmin answered casually, “But let me remind you that it’s scarcely your business.”
“You’re scarcely as cute as I remember you one year ago. Well. This afternoon there’s another omiai?”
“I just go because my parents want me too.”
“Honestly what era is this? Why are you people still practice arranged marriage? What about love?”
“It’s universal, not ‘you people’. And because apparently you have been brainwashed by the so very American idea of liberty: All those Jewish American tycoons we’ve worked with practice it too.” Changmin didn’t look up from his desk. “About love… Marriage for love is just a lie poor people like to believe in. A steady relationship in reality can only be based on the two parties’ common points, which in turn can only come from similar experiences in life, or similar backgrounds. Marriage is inherently discriminate and exclusive. The so called indiscriminate love, if there’s such a thing, must be based on something indiscriminate. Then the only indiscriminate thing we know of is sex. I’m not marrying for sex.”
“Eloquence,” Kibum blinked, “Are you sure you’re not your dad in disguise?”
“...”
“It’d better be your dad speaking now, because if it’s you then seems like you have just been deeply disillusioned by something, that’s why you talk like this. Wanna tell me about it? I’m all ears.”
“I’m not mouth,” Changmin continued reading his documents.
“Fine, I’ll go ask Kyu,” Kibum shrugged, turning away to walk towards the door.
Then he heard a sudden loud bang. When he looked back he saw Changmin with his fists on the expensive mahogany desk, while sheets of paper were flying like feathers around. Changmin’s eyebrows were up in his forehead and there was such a look of horror on that handsome face. He must be clenching his teeth really hard because the temples and the jaws were pulsating. Meanwhile, it was clear that the guy was holding his breath, for the countenance was all green.
Kibum gave one of his amused “what?” expressions. Changmin suddenly felt so clumsy. “Don’t… don’t go,” he finally managed a few words.
“Why?”
Changmin collapsed on his chair. He put his two hands on his face and massaged it. When he took the two hands away, Kibum could see Changmin’s eyes were red, and the area around them were dark as if Changmin had gone on for centuries without a blink of sleep.
“Man, you look horrible,” Kibum sighed, coming back to pat Changmin on his head, “What happened?”
“I’m just… tired, Kibum,” Changmin admitted it for the first time. He had one hand against his temple. The sudden rush of adrenaline when he had though Kibum was going to Kyuhyun, once gone, left him feel even more enervated. The only thing he was thinking, though, was that he must stop Kibum from going to Kyuhyun. For all he knew, Kyuhyun would only give an incorrect version of Junsu to Kibum. Oh, amazing! How just thinking about that name made his heart flutter in pain. But yes, he didn’t want anyone to think badly about Junsu. Not after the image of that fragile back standing near the deathbed of the woman in the hospice still got stuck in Changmin’s brain. “I will die like this too… alone.” So Junsu had said. The mumbling voice echoed in Changmin’s head with the force and tremble of a grand pipe organ, and made Changmin feel so guilty. But the more guilt he felt, the more he had to force himself to leave, because he was scared about how Junsu could make his mind work in this way. The whole complications of things were so much that Changmin had found it better to just stop thinking. Until now.
“Yes?”
Kibum’s voice sounded oddly like Kyuhyun, the day that cousin of Changmin had come to Junsu’s apartment to find Changmin. It made Changmin hesitate, but finally he gave in. A hope that Kibum would be a better listener sparkled in Changmin’s heart.
“… So basically you ran away because you were… scared?”
Changmin nodded weakly.
“You know what it’s called right?” Kibum blinked, and then very unhelpfully voiced out what was in both of their heads, “Cowardice.”
Changmin covered his face. “It’s not just as simple as you make it sound, Kibum. It’s impossibility we’re talking about here, do you know? Don’t talk like it’s some TV drama here, that I just have to run to him and everything will be solved. The thing is that… we don’t belong, I don’t love Junsu. If I do then why do I feel such pain, such stress whenever I’m with him? All the differences between us, they’re just there no matter how I try to ignore them. Just as I try to forget them they’d be there staring at me, and all the while I just feel something heavy on my chest. He is such an intense presence that I just don’t know how to act, and it overwhelms me. I feel naked, exposed around him, and it’s… it’s just too much. It’s an uncompromisable issue.”
Changmin was having his face on the desk now. Kibum pulled out a chair and sat on it. Finally he said,“Thanks for the fine speech, Changmin. But I don’t see how it means you’re not a coward.”
Changmin sighed. “Thanks Kibum. You’re a listener starkly different from Kyuhyun.” He paused. “Not in a good way.”
“You know what’s the problem?”
“What?”
“You’re intelligent. You know you’re intelligent. Just stop being intelligent.”
“I don’t see how that can be done. My intelligence is deeply ingrained in my brain… something you only wish for. In vain.” Changmin smirked one of his annoying smirks, only now it looked dead tired.
Kibum took from somewhere a notebook and banged it on Changmin’s head. “For your head is too thick, I won’t say more. Go figure it out yourself.”
“I’m not.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’m so tired of this. I don’t love him. Like I said love comes from common understandings which we apparently don’t have. I’ll just marry one of those girls my parents introduce to me and get it done with.” Then Changmin paused for a few seconds. “I will treat her right, unlike what I’ve done to Yuri. It’s my only chance for happiness.”
“… Very well then,” Kibum’s voice became strangely high-pitched. “Good luck with that,” he said, not without a touch of sarcasm.
Changmin decided to just ignore it.
“Hel… hello, Ayumi-san, Changmin-ssi. I’m Park Soo-ae… Please… take care of me.”
Changmin eyed the girl in front of him. Her mother seemed restless. “Sorry Ayumi-san, Changmin-ssi. Our Soo is just terribly shy. She’s a very sweet girl though.”
“I see, don’t worry Sooyoung-ssi,” Changmin’s okaa-san smiled indulgently. “Is she called ‘Soo’? What a cute name.”
“Yes, yes, Ayumi-san. Thank you very much.”
The Park family had been in politics for generations. But in front of these famous Shim’s, lady Park just had to be careful. The Shim’s were just so abnormally powerful… and it’s not everyday that they’d call up to set up an omiai for their heir.
“Well then, let’s leave the children alone, shan’t we?”
Shim Ayumi stood up with utmost grace. Lady Park followed her with a hopeful smile.
Once the two had disappeared behind the door, Changmin swept his eyes across the low Japanese table to the girl with big bright eyes in front of him. Her face was all flushed but her eyes were unwavering at staring at Changmin.
Changmin found it quite cute. He had made a decision... Kibum's face had popped out in his head wagging the finger, but Changmin had rudely pushed it aside.
“So, can I call you ‘Soo’?”
End 32
Fandom: DB5K
Pairings: Changmin x Junsu (MinSu), Yoochun x Junsu, Yunho x Jaejoong
Genre: Romance, Angst
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: They are not mine.
“So… there is a pattern here,” Kibum tapped on his chin as he looked at a diligent Changmin at work.
“What pattern?”
“All those you’ve been sleeping with play the piano. Isn’t that a pattern? I wonder who the first pianist you’ve fucked is, because he or she must be the reason why it all started.”
“I didn’t know you keep a record of my sex life,” Changmin answered casually, “But let me remind you that it’s scarcely your business.”
“You’re scarcely as cute as I remember you one year ago. Well. This afternoon there’s another omiai?”
“I just go because my parents want me too.”
“Honestly what era is this? Why are you people still practice arranged marriage? What about love?”
“It’s universal, not ‘you people’. And because apparently you have been brainwashed by the so very American idea of liberty: All those Jewish American tycoons we’ve worked with practice it too.” Changmin didn’t look up from his desk. “About love… Marriage for love is just a lie poor people like to believe in. A steady relationship in reality can only be based on the two parties’ common points, which in turn can only come from similar experiences in life, or similar backgrounds. Marriage is inherently discriminate and exclusive. The so called indiscriminate love, if there’s such a thing, must be based on something indiscriminate. Then the only indiscriminate thing we know of is sex. I’m not marrying for sex.”
“Eloquence,” Kibum blinked, “Are you sure you’re not your dad in disguise?”
“...”
“It’d better be your dad speaking now, because if it’s you then seems like you have just been deeply disillusioned by something, that’s why you talk like this. Wanna tell me about it? I’m all ears.”
“I’m not mouth,” Changmin continued reading his documents.
“Fine, I’ll go ask Kyu,” Kibum shrugged, turning away to walk towards the door.
Then he heard a sudden loud bang. When he looked back he saw Changmin with his fists on the expensive mahogany desk, while sheets of paper were flying like feathers around. Changmin’s eyebrows were up in his forehead and there was such a look of horror on that handsome face. He must be clenching his teeth really hard because the temples and the jaws were pulsating. Meanwhile, it was clear that the guy was holding his breath, for the countenance was all green.
Kibum gave one of his amused “what?” expressions. Changmin suddenly felt so clumsy. “Don’t… don’t go,” he finally managed a few words.
“Why?”
Changmin collapsed on his chair. He put his two hands on his face and massaged it. When he took the two hands away, Kibum could see Changmin’s eyes were red, and the area around them were dark as if Changmin had gone on for centuries without a blink of sleep.
“Man, you look horrible,” Kibum sighed, coming back to pat Changmin on his head, “What happened?”
“I’m just… tired, Kibum,” Changmin admitted it for the first time. He had one hand against his temple. The sudden rush of adrenaline when he had though Kibum was going to Kyuhyun, once gone, left him feel even more enervated. The only thing he was thinking, though, was that he must stop Kibum from going to Kyuhyun. For all he knew, Kyuhyun would only give an incorrect version of Junsu to Kibum. Oh, amazing! How just thinking about that name made his heart flutter in pain. But yes, he didn’t want anyone to think badly about Junsu. Not after the image of that fragile back standing near the deathbed of the woman in the hospice still got stuck in Changmin’s brain. “I will die like this too… alone.” So Junsu had said. The mumbling voice echoed in Changmin’s head with the force and tremble of a grand pipe organ, and made Changmin feel so guilty. But the more guilt he felt, the more he had to force himself to leave, because he was scared about how Junsu could make his mind work in this way. The whole complications of things were so much that Changmin had found it better to just stop thinking. Until now.
“Yes?”
Kibum’s voice sounded oddly like Kyuhyun, the day that cousin of Changmin had come to Junsu’s apartment to find Changmin. It made Changmin hesitate, but finally he gave in. A hope that Kibum would be a better listener sparkled in Changmin’s heart.
“… So basically you ran away because you were… scared?”
Changmin nodded weakly.
“You know what it’s called right?” Kibum blinked, and then very unhelpfully voiced out what was in both of their heads, “Cowardice.”
Changmin covered his face. “It’s not just as simple as you make it sound, Kibum. It’s impossibility we’re talking about here, do you know? Don’t talk like it’s some TV drama here, that I just have to run to him and everything will be solved. The thing is that… we don’t belong, I don’t love Junsu. If I do then why do I feel such pain, such stress whenever I’m with him? All the differences between us, they’re just there no matter how I try to ignore them. Just as I try to forget them they’d be there staring at me, and all the while I just feel something heavy on my chest. He is such an intense presence that I just don’t know how to act, and it overwhelms me. I feel naked, exposed around him, and it’s… it’s just too much. It’s an uncompromisable issue.”
Changmin was having his face on the desk now. Kibum pulled out a chair and sat on it. Finally he said,“Thanks for the fine speech, Changmin. But I don’t see how it means you’re not a coward.”
Changmin sighed. “Thanks Kibum. You’re a listener starkly different from Kyuhyun.” He paused. “Not in a good way.”
“You know what’s the problem?”
“What?”
“You’re intelligent. You know you’re intelligent. Just stop being intelligent.”
“I don’t see how that can be done. My intelligence is deeply ingrained in my brain… something you only wish for. In vain.” Changmin smirked one of his annoying smirks, only now it looked dead tired.
Kibum took from somewhere a notebook and banged it on Changmin’s head. “For your head is too thick, I won’t say more. Go figure it out yourself.”
“I’m not.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’m so tired of this. I don’t love him. Like I said love comes from common understandings which we apparently don’t have. I’ll just marry one of those girls my parents introduce to me and get it done with.” Then Changmin paused for a few seconds. “I will treat her right, unlike what I’ve done to Yuri. It’s my only chance for happiness.”
“… Very well then,” Kibum’s voice became strangely high-pitched. “Good luck with that,” he said, not without a touch of sarcasm.
Changmin decided to just ignore it.
“Hel… hello, Ayumi-san, Changmin-ssi. I’m Park Soo-ae… Please… take care of me.”
Changmin eyed the girl in front of him. Her mother seemed restless. “Sorry Ayumi-san, Changmin-ssi. Our Soo is just terribly shy. She’s a very sweet girl though.”
“I see, don’t worry Sooyoung-ssi,” Changmin’s okaa-san smiled indulgently. “Is she called ‘Soo’? What a cute name.”
“Yes, yes, Ayumi-san. Thank you very much.”
The Park family had been in politics for generations. But in front of these famous Shim’s, lady Park just had to be careful. The Shim’s were just so abnormally powerful… and it’s not everyday that they’d call up to set up an omiai for their heir.
“Well then, let’s leave the children alone, shan’t we?”
Shim Ayumi stood up with utmost grace. Lady Park followed her with a hopeful smile.
Once the two had disappeared behind the door, Changmin swept his eyes across the low Japanese table to the girl with big bright eyes in front of him. Her face was all flushed but her eyes were unwavering at staring at Changmin.
Changmin found it quite cute. He had made a decision... Kibum's face had popped out in his head wagging the finger, but Changmin had rudely pushed it aside.
“So, can I call you ‘Soo’?”
End 32