Through the crown of the sakura tree - 30
Author: Hikaru DelSogno
Fandom: DB5K
Pairings: Changmin x Junsu (MinSu), Yoochun x Junsu, Yunho x Jaejoong
Genre: Romance, Angst
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: They are not mine.
Theme music: Dvorak's Humoresque - Jascha Heifetz
Changmin came back to Junsu’s apartment.
He had realized that he had almost destroyed everything in his life when he left his house. As much as he hated it at times, it was still his family and he couldn’t just walk away. Life was no romantic drama.
As much as he find it hard to face Junsu, it was what he had to do. He couldn’t just avoid the other person and disappear like nothing had happened.
It was then that Changmin realized he had really changed. The Changmin of a few months ago would just pretend like nothing was there, and rub off whatever there was when he deemed the end had come. He didn’t like to waste time with people he was not related to anymore.
But now… he felt he should face Junsu. It was just a feeling but it acted on Changmin more strongly than anything. Changmin was scared by the fact that someone could have influenced him so much like Junsu did. He didn’t think that Junsu had done that intentionally like Kyuhyun and Yuri insinuated, but he thought it was unhealthy nevertheless. Less healthy than ignorance. But he had got to face it.
Touching his pocket, Changmin had to curse himself for not bringing the key. Of course. He had left the house in a hurry to drag Kyuhyun away from Junsu. He never wanted anyone of his family to know about the pianist. They belonged to different worlds, socially, conventionally and relatively to Changmin.
It was 3am. He didn’t want to wake Junsu up to open the door for him, as it was too late. When he was thinking what to do though, the door suddenly opened.
And surely not by itself. A sleepy Jaejoong was revealed. Changmin was a little taken aback. Jaejoong’s doe eyes directed to him. “You’re back? Junsu told me to come over to wait and open the door for you. He ran to the hospice for some emergency.”
“Emergency?”
“Yeah,” Jaejoong yawned, “Come on in.”
Changmin hesitated. What emergency had driven Junsu away from his home at such a late hour?
“When will he be back?” Changmin asked.
“Dunno,” Jaejoong seemed impatient to get back to his bed when Changmin kept standing at the door, “If there’s anything, talk to him in the morning, ok?”
Changmin didn’t answer. In the morning? Somehow Changmin couldn’t wait. In the morning all the determination could have gone away. He needed to see Junsu right then.
“I think I’m going to find him now… Thanks, and sorry for keeping you waiting.”
Changmin turned to walk away, leaving Jaejoong’s “Hey” behind.
He hailed a taxi to the hill where the hospice was.
Junsu stood next to Miss Han’s bed.
She laid there, looking like she was just sleeping. Not because she looked good and alive, but because even in the last few months before when she had still been, she had already looked like dead.
Now that death had come, it looked like the natural way things were.
Junsu watched her. The nurse had gone away to arrange a spot in the morgue. Miss Han will be transferred there for a short time, before they burned her body to ashes. Things were to be done quickly and professionally. After all, people died here frequently and it was more or less a routine.
Silence touched her fingers upon everything. Junsu looked at the few things that had belonged to Miss Han, they emitted a desertedly sad feeling but no - Junsu had to remind himself that they couldn’t possibly feel sad. They were only objects, senseless objects. Nobody was there to feel sad for Miss Han but Junsu, and that knowledge only deepens the solitude, the lonesome feeling that were gnawing at him.
He touched the grayly white hair on Miss Han’s head, then a morbid want came to urge him to kiss her on the cheek. It was only the cheek but Junsu could smell the smell of rotting gums from her unclosed mouth. He smiled sadly as he pull the white cloth up to cover her face.
“I would die like this too. Alone.”
He said to himself.
When he walked out of the room, he was surprised to see Changmin right there.
“I’m sorry for your loss,” said Changmin, lamely.
“No need. She’s not my relative or anything.”
“…”
They were sitting on a fence outside the hospice, where the wild daisies were. Changmin looked at the smile on Junsu’s profile. He wanted to give the shorter man a hug, to give that person some warmth (for all he remembered from the after-sex cuddlings, Junsu always felt cooler than normal temperature), but he stopped himself. It was hard as Junsu’s lonely form just evoke protectiveness in Changmin, but Changmin managed.
“Why are you here?” Junsu asked.
Part of Junsu hoped Changmin would say that it was because Changmin cared for Junsu. At the same time he knew it was not it.
What Changmin said next only confirmed Junsu’s thought.
“I need to tell you something,” Changmin looked down, “I’m leaving soon.”
“Oh?”
Junsu said. To Changmin it sounded as if in response to the news that someone had just come to collect a bill.
Changmin drew a deep breath. “Thank you for letting me stay in your house. But it’s probably time to go.”
“It is,” Junsu agreed, nodding his head. Changmin turned his head to look at Junsu with surprised eyes.
“It is,” Junsu repeated, and added, “There’s this thing I wanted to tell you, but because I was selfish and wanted to keep you, I didn’t.”
‘Selfish’? ‘Wanted to keep you’? Changmin suddenly thought of all the warnings from Kyuhyun and Yuri. What could Junsu had possibly done? Changmin’s heart beat fast.
“Remember you told me your dad found out about you designing the building, and then got angry with you?”
“…Yeah.”
“Well you said he thinks art is crap and never looks once at how you love Architecture. But if it’s so, how could he, just at a glance, tell that the design swapped with the original was made by you? He must in fact know your style very, very well. In fact he must have spent hours looking at all your earlier works in detail.”
“…”
“Sorry for having kept that from you. You have such a caring father. Treasure him.”
Changmin was at a loss for words.
Junsu smiled. He stood up and stretched, under the moist, goldenly pink light early sun brought to Earth. Unpeturbed by the noises and the tall silhouettes of skyscrapers, with all the wild trees and flowers, dawn on his hill looked rouguely beautiful. There was the sound of Junsu stepping on the grass. Junsu’s backside seemed fading away in the sun as he walked to its direction, and it looked like he himself emitted light.
Changmin was chasing his own thoughts, he didn’t notice when Junsu turned back, his face right next to Changmin.
Then quickly leaning in, Junsu gave Changmin a kiss on the lips.
It was a chaste kiss, no tongue involved. All Changmin could feel was the moist, soft full lips attached to his arid ones, and Junsu’s warm breath on his cool facial skin.
It all occurred so suddenly that even his brain had to take a few seconds to process what had been happening. Then once it did, Changmin quickly removed Junsu’s touch with a swift but rather violent push.
“People may see us, I already told you not to do this outside, didn’t…”
But words got stuck in Changmin’s throat when he noticed the look on Junsu’s face.
Junsu’s eyes, those round, dark mocha colored orbs, were full of sadness, despite the faint smile he had on his lips. It occurred to Changmin like a naked truth then, that it was most likely the last time they’d ever kiss.
Changmin looked down onto his hands. A second ago Junsu was there. Now the warmth, the texture, the soft feel of Junsu’s waist… had all flown away with the first, lightest touch of breeze. Changmin’s hands were completely empty.
Changmin looked up. Junsu was a few steps away. The slim figure looked even thinner when he stood against the sun, and almost got swallowed by it from both sides.
Junsu smiled.
“Well then, I guess this is good-bye.”
Changmin couldn’t even say a word. Even though he opened his mouth and tried to work his vocal chord, no sound came out. Instead, all he felt was a grip around his heart, because it kept on clenching till Changmin grimaced with pain. His chest heaved quickly but he felt suffocated.
Junsu’s latest statement echoed back and forth between the walls of Changmin’s mind. When he looked up advice on how to get out of this situation, his brain did not give him any answer. Instead it kept repeating the word “good-bye” and all the primitive questions concerning it. Changmin found himself asking stupid things like, what does goodbye mean here? When you don’t say “See you again” does that mean I will ever see you agan? Will I see you if I pass through the conservatory building? If we come across, will we ignore each other like we have never known each other, or would you say hello? Would you be jealous if I have myself another girl? Will you really forget me?
Goodbye?
Changmin felt a hot, burning pain in his heart and he didn’t know why. All the questions his traitorous brain had brought up were useless, meaningless ones. Then reason finally managed to creep back to his mind, and gave him an answer. Goodbye was just goodbye, the essential thing was that they were to have nothing to do with each other anymore. Wasn’t it what he had wanted? Further queries? No. Very well.
Changmin felt the damp morning air breezed at his hair.
End 30
Wow 30 parts already... I can't believe myself :o
(cre: minsuaday)
The pelvis the pelvis xD xD xD
Fandom: DB5K
Pairings: Changmin x Junsu (MinSu), Yoochun x Junsu, Yunho x Jaejoong
Genre: Romance, Angst
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: They are not mine.
Theme music: Dvorak's Humoresque - Jascha Heifetz
Changmin came back to Junsu’s apartment.
He had realized that he had almost destroyed everything in his life when he left his house. As much as he hated it at times, it was still his family and he couldn’t just walk away. Life was no romantic drama.
As much as he find it hard to face Junsu, it was what he had to do. He couldn’t just avoid the other person and disappear like nothing had happened.
It was then that Changmin realized he had really changed. The Changmin of a few months ago would just pretend like nothing was there, and rub off whatever there was when he deemed the end had come. He didn’t like to waste time with people he was not related to anymore.
But now… he felt he should face Junsu. It was just a feeling but it acted on Changmin more strongly than anything. Changmin was scared by the fact that someone could have influenced him so much like Junsu did. He didn’t think that Junsu had done that intentionally like Kyuhyun and Yuri insinuated, but he thought it was unhealthy nevertheless. Less healthy than ignorance. But he had got to face it.
Touching his pocket, Changmin had to curse himself for not bringing the key. Of course. He had left the house in a hurry to drag Kyuhyun away from Junsu. He never wanted anyone of his family to know about the pianist. They belonged to different worlds, socially, conventionally and relatively to Changmin.
It was 3am. He didn’t want to wake Junsu up to open the door for him, as it was too late. When he was thinking what to do though, the door suddenly opened.
And surely not by itself. A sleepy Jaejoong was revealed. Changmin was a little taken aback. Jaejoong’s doe eyes directed to him. “You’re back? Junsu told me to come over to wait and open the door for you. He ran to the hospice for some emergency.”
“Emergency?”
“Yeah,” Jaejoong yawned, “Come on in.”
Changmin hesitated. What emergency had driven Junsu away from his home at such a late hour?
“When will he be back?” Changmin asked.
“Dunno,” Jaejoong seemed impatient to get back to his bed when Changmin kept standing at the door, “If there’s anything, talk to him in the morning, ok?”
Changmin didn’t answer. In the morning? Somehow Changmin couldn’t wait. In the morning all the determination could have gone away. He needed to see Junsu right then.
“I think I’m going to find him now… Thanks, and sorry for keeping you waiting.”
Changmin turned to walk away, leaving Jaejoong’s “Hey” behind.
He hailed a taxi to the hill where the hospice was.
Junsu stood next to Miss Han’s bed.
She laid there, looking like she was just sleeping. Not because she looked good and alive, but because even in the last few months before when she had still been, she had already looked like dead.
Now that death had come, it looked like the natural way things were.
Junsu watched her. The nurse had gone away to arrange a spot in the morgue. Miss Han will be transferred there for a short time, before they burned her body to ashes. Things were to be done quickly and professionally. After all, people died here frequently and it was more or less a routine.
Silence touched her fingers upon everything. Junsu looked at the few things that had belonged to Miss Han, they emitted a desertedly sad feeling but no - Junsu had to remind himself that they couldn’t possibly feel sad. They were only objects, senseless objects. Nobody was there to feel sad for Miss Han but Junsu, and that knowledge only deepens the solitude, the lonesome feeling that were gnawing at him.
He touched the grayly white hair on Miss Han’s head, then a morbid want came to urge him to kiss her on the cheek. It was only the cheek but Junsu could smell the smell of rotting gums from her unclosed mouth. He smiled sadly as he pull the white cloth up to cover her face.
“I would die like this too. Alone.”
He said to himself.
When he walked out of the room, he was surprised to see Changmin right there.
“I’m sorry for your loss,” said Changmin, lamely.
“No need. She’s not my relative or anything.”
“…”
They were sitting on a fence outside the hospice, where the wild daisies were. Changmin looked at the smile on Junsu’s profile. He wanted to give the shorter man a hug, to give that person some warmth (for all he remembered from the after-sex cuddlings, Junsu always felt cooler than normal temperature), but he stopped himself. It was hard as Junsu’s lonely form just evoke protectiveness in Changmin, but Changmin managed.
“Why are you here?” Junsu asked.
Part of Junsu hoped Changmin would say that it was because Changmin cared for Junsu. At the same time he knew it was not it.
What Changmin said next only confirmed Junsu’s thought.
“I need to tell you something,” Changmin looked down, “I’m leaving soon.”
“Oh?”
Junsu said. To Changmin it sounded as if in response to the news that someone had just come to collect a bill.
Changmin drew a deep breath. “Thank you for letting me stay in your house. But it’s probably time to go.”
“It is,” Junsu agreed, nodding his head. Changmin turned his head to look at Junsu with surprised eyes.
“It is,” Junsu repeated, and added, “There’s this thing I wanted to tell you, but because I was selfish and wanted to keep you, I didn’t.”
‘Selfish’? ‘Wanted to keep you’? Changmin suddenly thought of all the warnings from Kyuhyun and Yuri. What could Junsu had possibly done? Changmin’s heart beat fast.
“Remember you told me your dad found out about you designing the building, and then got angry with you?”
“…Yeah.”
“Well you said he thinks art is crap and never looks once at how you love Architecture. But if it’s so, how could he, just at a glance, tell that the design swapped with the original was made by you? He must in fact know your style very, very well. In fact he must have spent hours looking at all your earlier works in detail.”
“…”
“Sorry for having kept that from you. You have such a caring father. Treasure him.”
Changmin was at a loss for words.
Junsu smiled. He stood up and stretched, under the moist, goldenly pink light early sun brought to Earth. Unpeturbed by the noises and the tall silhouettes of skyscrapers, with all the wild trees and flowers, dawn on his hill looked rouguely beautiful. There was the sound of Junsu stepping on the grass. Junsu’s backside seemed fading away in the sun as he walked to its direction, and it looked like he himself emitted light.
Changmin was chasing his own thoughts, he didn’t notice when Junsu turned back, his face right next to Changmin.
Then quickly leaning in, Junsu gave Changmin a kiss on the lips.
It was a chaste kiss, no tongue involved. All Changmin could feel was the moist, soft full lips attached to his arid ones, and Junsu’s warm breath on his cool facial skin.
It all occurred so suddenly that even his brain had to take a few seconds to process what had been happening. Then once it did, Changmin quickly removed Junsu’s touch with a swift but rather violent push.
“People may see us, I already told you not to do this outside, didn’t…”
But words got stuck in Changmin’s throat when he noticed the look on Junsu’s face.
Junsu’s eyes, those round, dark mocha colored orbs, were full of sadness, despite the faint smile he had on his lips. It occurred to Changmin like a naked truth then, that it was most likely the last time they’d ever kiss.
Changmin looked down onto his hands. A second ago Junsu was there. Now the warmth, the texture, the soft feel of Junsu’s waist… had all flown away with the first, lightest touch of breeze. Changmin’s hands were completely empty.
Changmin looked up. Junsu was a few steps away. The slim figure looked even thinner when he stood against the sun, and almost got swallowed by it from both sides.
Junsu smiled.
“Well then, I guess this is good-bye.”
Changmin couldn’t even say a word. Even though he opened his mouth and tried to work his vocal chord, no sound came out. Instead, all he felt was a grip around his heart, because it kept on clenching till Changmin grimaced with pain. His chest heaved quickly but he felt suffocated.
Junsu’s latest statement echoed back and forth between the walls of Changmin’s mind. When he looked up advice on how to get out of this situation, his brain did not give him any answer. Instead it kept repeating the word “good-bye” and all the primitive questions concerning it. Changmin found himself asking stupid things like, what does goodbye mean here? When you don’t say “See you again” does that mean I will ever see you agan? Will I see you if I pass through the conservatory building? If we come across, will we ignore each other like we have never known each other, or would you say hello? Would you be jealous if I have myself another girl? Will you really forget me?
Goodbye?
Changmin felt a hot, burning pain in his heart and he didn’t know why. All the questions his traitorous brain had brought up were useless, meaningless ones. Then reason finally managed to creep back to his mind, and gave him an answer. Goodbye was just goodbye, the essential thing was that they were to have nothing to do with each other anymore. Wasn’t it what he had wanted? Further queries? No. Very well.
Changmin felt the damp morning air breezed at his hair.
End 30
Wow 30 parts already... I can't believe myself :o
(cre: minsuaday)
The pelvis the pelvis xD xD xD