Through the crown of the sakura tree - 29
Author: Hikaru DelSogno
Fandom: DB5K
Pairings: Changmin x Junsu (MinSu), Yoochun x Junsu, Yunho x Jaejoong
Genre: Romance, Angst
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: They are not mine.
“Minho, would you please go out?”
Yuri said with a hoarse voice. Changmin then heard Minho quietly left the room, and then the sound of the door closing.
The room was then left with only Changmin and Yuri inside. Changmin was having his back to Yuri and he was not going to turn around anytime soon.
Changmin felt so dissapointed and angry. He was not the type of people who like to insult people, but he imagined in his mind one thousand kinds of hurtful words he could have hurled at Yuri. Saving those to himself nevertheless, he expected whatever imploring Yuri was going to make. Betrayal arose in him the vindictiveness he hadn’t known existed, and he would make sure to hurt her, to make her know his forgiveness would not be easy to earn. He would surely…
But right then,
“Changmin, let’s break up…”
Changmin, not Changmin-oppa. The three dots seemed to extend until infinity.
Yuri’s newest words came banging on Changmin’s head like a hammer, right when he thought the numbness he was feeling would serve as an absorbing shield to whatever shock that was going to hit him, at least for the next few hours. He jerked back, staring unbelievingly at the woman that had once been his woman. She looked distraught and was still clearly trying to pull herself together, but her words didn’t sound like they were said just to turn the situation to a favorable direction.
“Look at me, Yuri.”
Changmin hated it when people tried to avoid eye contacts.
Yuri directed to him those eyes - glossy and fishlike, that made Changmin felt so ridiculous, like he was suddenly made the antagonist in this lame skit.
“Changmin, let’s break up…” Yuri repeated.
Changmin wanted to hit her. It was the first time he felt such a need. His brain beeped with red warnings, telling him he was desperate. Wasn’t Changmin one who always put civilized manners the best way to solve problems? Oh but then again if it was the end then no solution was needed anyway.
He lifted the corner of the lips. “I heard it. No need to say the second time.”
Yuri sobbed again.
She dreaded this cold voice of him. It had broken the last defense she had in her, the only thing that had kept her standing. “Changmin, you’ve never loved me…”
“What?”
“You slept around and I never knew when I’d lose you. But now that I…”
“What crap are you talking about, Yuri? We’re engaged! You, and not those women, are whom I’m spending my life with. What do you want?”
“Engagement? Would the engagement still hold if you’re no longer in the family, Changmin?”
Yuri wiped the face with both of her hands, as if otherwise she’d be drowning in her own tears.
“So you were only with me because of the money? Once I’m out it’s done isn’t it?” Changmin said with utmost disgust in his voice.
Yuri jerked up. “Why do you always think so negatively about me?” Changmin stayed silent. “What I mean to say is that the bond between you and me had never been that strong to begin with. To you I’m just your girlfriend, your fiancée…” The indignace made Yuri’s words only loose pieces of information and emotions.
“What else do you want then, Mademoiselle Kwon?” Changmin felt fed up with this drama.
“You never look at me as a human being, Changmin! That’s the problem!”
“You don’t make sense. If you don’t make me think otherwise then why should I not think you one?” Changmin’s voice became a gloomy mixture of sarcasm and darkness.
“Have you ever considered anything I say seriously? Do you ever know what I think, what I feel? When… when… with that person, you, you…”
“Be clear, Yuri-ssi. Who?”
“Junsu-ssi, Changmin!”
“What does Junsu ever have anything to do with this?” Changmin felt total disbelief. Jealousy, unfounded jealousy, had sure made Yuri go out of her mind!
“You fell asleep under the sakuras with him beside you… you helped him when he was bullied in the library… you helped him to the hospital… you…”
“You’re out of your mind, Yuri. Do you expect me to live alone on an island? Can’t I be around other people?”
Yuri put one hand on her forehead, trying to rearrange her emotion.
“Yes you deny it. Do you remember, then,” her voice was much calmed down, “When you ran out of your abeonim’s office in the headquarters? What you say, do you remember?”
Changmin frowned, looking at Yuri’s eyes.
“Changmin, what you said was the same as what Junsu-ssi said when he broke down in that room in the Conservatory… about dying without leaving any trace in the world. Changmin, you’ve never been affected by any words I say but with Junsu-ssi’s…”
“…”
Changmin sighed. He felt so tired of this. Now it had come back to the fear he had been feeling since leaving Kyuhyun in the café. He was influenced by Junsu? Junsu had become something that could influence him?
“Changmin, do you remember when we were small?” Yuri suddenly changed the topic, while wiping the tears in her eyes. “Every summer break we’d have a time travelling around on your father’s cruise… Do you remember all the places we went to, and all the scenes we saw?”
Changmin felt a headache coming. What was the point of all this? But of course he remembered. It was on those cruise voyages that he went through all the best cities in the world, and developed his love for Architecture.
“And we’d play the kingdom game and you’d always be King, and I was always Princess… Even though I was Princess, you only thought of me as just any other kid in the game, but I always loved you… been loving you all these years…”
Oh, girls’ memories are always about this sort of thing, thought Changmin. But he continued listening to Yuri nevertheless.
“…And there was Kyuhyun who’d be the General and Minho the Counsel… and Kibum the enuch…”
Changmin suddenly wanted to chuckle, despite the gloomy mood he was in. He remembered Kibum playing Enuch very well.
“Do you remember yourself at that time? You were like a tail following your abeonim everywhere, when you were small. I thought you looked funny together because you two were exactly the same but while your dad was always grim, you were the most beautiful little devil one could imagine, so bright and cheerful and mischievous… You two were like the most beautiful pair,” Yuri smiled faintly, “He was strict even when you were young but I remembered how he looked whenever anyone said you took after him, and that you were such a clever boy and you’d surely be a great entrepreneur, the one who’d take on the Shim name one day… He never smiled but he looked as happy as he could be…”
Changmin inhaled deeply. Yes, he remembered all that. He remembered crawling up the stern of the cruise with his abeonim’s big hands as the supporting points, looking at the wonderful golden sunset of the Pacific Ocean. His abeonim would use his warm but linear voice to explain to him how goods travel around the world, across economies on wonderful voyages…
Changmin sighed - perhaps his abeonim was not as bad as Changmin tended to think about him these few years. The senior Shim was presently a boring irritable man, but he had once been the tallest and handsomest man in town, who looked especially cool when he explained to a young Changmin the fundamentals of trade and business. And then there was his mother who was the greatest cook ever, also the prettiest Japanese lady, and Changmin had always been proud to show his okaa-san to his friends.
Then of course, his friends themselves: a cute obedient Yuri, a nearly-as-evil-as-Changmin-himself Kyuhyun, a talkative and athletic Minho, a quiet and studious Kibum… All his dear friends.
Changmin smiled inside at the beautiful memories. But then Yuri’s voice was heard again; it pulled Changmin out of his reverie.
“Yet… look around now Changmin. You defy your father. You make Ayumi-san sad as you estrange your own family. You don’t care about our relationship, you think of me as a bland, brainless doll. You forget your friends, Minho, Kyuhyun, Kibum… Just look, Changmin. Ever since the beginning of Spring, you’ve become someone else, someone I don’t know. You start saying things I’ve never heard you say before. You do things contrary to your responsibilities. But do you gain anything Changmin? When you’re losing so much? Who is that Kim Junsu of obscure background? Is he someone worth trusting? What exactly are you going to be, an architect? Will it surely give you the reward and recognition you deserve?”
Yuri was about to break down again as she spoke, and Changmin closed his eyes.
He couldn’t bear hearing any of this no more. Hearing these, he was forced to think, to realize the messy condition his life had been in.
He looked at his now ex-girlfriend. She was crying silently. Her slender body trembled with quiet tears, and Changmin felt too tired of everything. At the same time he couldn’t dismiss what Yuri had said as being groundless. Perhaps it was true then, that all the while he had been so unfair to her, never really taken her seriously as she should be. Did that also mean he had been unfair to other things and other people he had in his life too?
End 29
Oh to ease the tension, some loving MinSu:
Su: "Which one do you want? Perfume, rose, or kiss?"
Min: "The last one."
(From A Week holiday - Stylish (or actually the unofficial MinSu Couple Talk xD) )
Fandom: DB5K
Pairings: Changmin x Junsu (MinSu), Yoochun x Junsu, Yunho x Jaejoong
Genre: Romance, Angst
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: They are not mine.
“Minho, would you please go out?”
Yuri said with a hoarse voice. Changmin then heard Minho quietly left the room, and then the sound of the door closing.
The room was then left with only Changmin and Yuri inside. Changmin was having his back to Yuri and he was not going to turn around anytime soon.
Changmin felt so dissapointed and angry. He was not the type of people who like to insult people, but he imagined in his mind one thousand kinds of hurtful words he could have hurled at Yuri. Saving those to himself nevertheless, he expected whatever imploring Yuri was going to make. Betrayal arose in him the vindictiveness he hadn’t known existed, and he would make sure to hurt her, to make her know his forgiveness would not be easy to earn. He would surely…
But right then,
“Changmin, let’s break up…”
Changmin, not Changmin-oppa. The three dots seemed to extend until infinity.
Yuri’s newest words came banging on Changmin’s head like a hammer, right when he thought the numbness he was feeling would serve as an absorbing shield to whatever shock that was going to hit him, at least for the next few hours. He jerked back, staring unbelievingly at the woman that had once been his woman. She looked distraught and was still clearly trying to pull herself together, but her words didn’t sound like they were said just to turn the situation to a favorable direction.
“Look at me, Yuri.”
Changmin hated it when people tried to avoid eye contacts.
Yuri directed to him those eyes - glossy and fishlike, that made Changmin felt so ridiculous, like he was suddenly made the antagonist in this lame skit.
“Changmin, let’s break up…” Yuri repeated.
Changmin wanted to hit her. It was the first time he felt such a need. His brain beeped with red warnings, telling him he was desperate. Wasn’t Changmin one who always put civilized manners the best way to solve problems? Oh but then again if it was the end then no solution was needed anyway.
He lifted the corner of the lips. “I heard it. No need to say the second time.”
Yuri sobbed again.
She dreaded this cold voice of him. It had broken the last defense she had in her, the only thing that had kept her standing. “Changmin, you’ve never loved me…”
“What?”
“You slept around and I never knew when I’d lose you. But now that I…”
“What crap are you talking about, Yuri? We’re engaged! You, and not those women, are whom I’m spending my life with. What do you want?”
“Engagement? Would the engagement still hold if you’re no longer in the family, Changmin?”
Yuri wiped the face with both of her hands, as if otherwise she’d be drowning in her own tears.
“So you were only with me because of the money? Once I’m out it’s done isn’t it?” Changmin said with utmost disgust in his voice.
Yuri jerked up. “Why do you always think so negatively about me?” Changmin stayed silent. “What I mean to say is that the bond between you and me had never been that strong to begin with. To you I’m just your girlfriend, your fiancée…” The indignace made Yuri’s words only loose pieces of information and emotions.
“What else do you want then, Mademoiselle Kwon?” Changmin felt fed up with this drama.
“You never look at me as a human being, Changmin! That’s the problem!”
“You don’t make sense. If you don’t make me think otherwise then why should I not think you one?” Changmin’s voice became a gloomy mixture of sarcasm and darkness.
“Have you ever considered anything I say seriously? Do you ever know what I think, what I feel? When… when… with that person, you, you…”
“Be clear, Yuri-ssi. Who?”
“Junsu-ssi, Changmin!”
“What does Junsu ever have anything to do with this?” Changmin felt total disbelief. Jealousy, unfounded jealousy, had sure made Yuri go out of her mind!
“You fell asleep under the sakuras with him beside you… you helped him when he was bullied in the library… you helped him to the hospital… you…”
“You’re out of your mind, Yuri. Do you expect me to live alone on an island? Can’t I be around other people?”
Yuri put one hand on her forehead, trying to rearrange her emotion.
“Yes you deny it. Do you remember, then,” her voice was much calmed down, “When you ran out of your abeonim’s office in the headquarters? What you say, do you remember?”
Changmin frowned, looking at Yuri’s eyes.
“Changmin, what you said was the same as what Junsu-ssi said when he broke down in that room in the Conservatory… about dying without leaving any trace in the world. Changmin, you’ve never been affected by any words I say but with Junsu-ssi’s…”
“…”
Changmin sighed. He felt so tired of this. Now it had come back to the fear he had been feeling since leaving Kyuhyun in the café. He was influenced by Junsu? Junsu had become something that could influence him?
“Changmin, do you remember when we were small?” Yuri suddenly changed the topic, while wiping the tears in her eyes. “Every summer break we’d have a time travelling around on your father’s cruise… Do you remember all the places we went to, and all the scenes we saw?”
Changmin felt a headache coming. What was the point of all this? But of course he remembered. It was on those cruise voyages that he went through all the best cities in the world, and developed his love for Architecture.
“And we’d play the kingdom game and you’d always be King, and I was always Princess… Even though I was Princess, you only thought of me as just any other kid in the game, but I always loved you… been loving you all these years…”
Oh, girls’ memories are always about this sort of thing, thought Changmin. But he continued listening to Yuri nevertheless.
“…And there was Kyuhyun who’d be the General and Minho the Counsel… and Kibum the enuch…”
Changmin suddenly wanted to chuckle, despite the gloomy mood he was in. He remembered Kibum playing Enuch very well.
“Do you remember yourself at that time? You were like a tail following your abeonim everywhere, when you were small. I thought you looked funny together because you two were exactly the same but while your dad was always grim, you were the most beautiful little devil one could imagine, so bright and cheerful and mischievous… You two were like the most beautiful pair,” Yuri smiled faintly, “He was strict even when you were young but I remembered how he looked whenever anyone said you took after him, and that you were such a clever boy and you’d surely be a great entrepreneur, the one who’d take on the Shim name one day… He never smiled but he looked as happy as he could be…”
Changmin inhaled deeply. Yes, he remembered all that. He remembered crawling up the stern of the cruise with his abeonim’s big hands as the supporting points, looking at the wonderful golden sunset of the Pacific Ocean. His abeonim would use his warm but linear voice to explain to him how goods travel around the world, across economies on wonderful voyages…
Changmin sighed - perhaps his abeonim was not as bad as Changmin tended to think about him these few years. The senior Shim was presently a boring irritable man, but he had once been the tallest and handsomest man in town, who looked especially cool when he explained to a young Changmin the fundamentals of trade and business. And then there was his mother who was the greatest cook ever, also the prettiest Japanese lady, and Changmin had always been proud to show his okaa-san to his friends.
Then of course, his friends themselves: a cute obedient Yuri, a nearly-as-evil-as-Changmin-himself Kyuhyun, a talkative and athletic Minho, a quiet and studious Kibum… All his dear friends.
Changmin smiled inside at the beautiful memories. But then Yuri’s voice was heard again; it pulled Changmin out of his reverie.
“Yet… look around now Changmin. You defy your father. You make Ayumi-san sad as you estrange your own family. You don’t care about our relationship, you think of me as a bland, brainless doll. You forget your friends, Minho, Kyuhyun, Kibum… Just look, Changmin. Ever since the beginning of Spring, you’ve become someone else, someone I don’t know. You start saying things I’ve never heard you say before. You do things contrary to your responsibilities. But do you gain anything Changmin? When you’re losing so much? Who is that Kim Junsu of obscure background? Is he someone worth trusting? What exactly are you going to be, an architect? Will it surely give you the reward and recognition you deserve?”
Yuri was about to break down again as she spoke, and Changmin closed his eyes.
He couldn’t bear hearing any of this no more. Hearing these, he was forced to think, to realize the messy condition his life had been in.
He looked at his now ex-girlfriend. She was crying silently. Her slender body trembled with quiet tears, and Changmin felt too tired of everything. At the same time he couldn’t dismiss what Yuri had said as being groundless. Perhaps it was true then, that all the while he had been so unfair to her, never really taken her seriously as she should be. Did that also mean he had been unfair to other things and other people he had in his life too?
End 29
Oh to ease the tension, some loving MinSu:
Su: "Which one do you want? Perfume, rose, or kiss?"
Min: "The last one."
(From A Week holiday - Stylish (or actually the unofficial MinSu Couple Talk xD) )