Screencaps of Evermore--A Hot Time in the (Very, Very) Old Town Tonight
Guten tag, fellows! Spring break is upon us, and with it, hopefully, some productivity! ...yeah, that's gonna happen. But hey, at least I managed to stop reading fansmut stop watching Doctor Who stop playing FFXII stop playing Mother pause in my busy schedule of selflessly giving puppies ice cream long enough to update! ISN'T NASTINA GENEROUS wait no
In the last edition, Boy and Dog got hopelessly lost in a large and very expensive swamp, proved that snake eating isn't just for reticulated pythons anymore, and finally received the coveted alchemical ingredient needed for a vital formula. Will they be able to conquer the Vipers inside the rapidly-cooling volcano? Let's find out!
I spared you the trip back through the swamp. I am so bad with that area. SO BAD.
Andre: I'm poisoned here >(
It's WIGGLY-WOOP TIME, walk it off
Let's ROCK! THAT! ROCK!
Wiggly-woop
Wiggly-woop
Wiggly-woop
Wiggly-woop
Wiggly-woop
Wiggly-woop
Wiggly-woop this is fascinating isn't it
Wiggly-woop
Wiggly-wooooooooooop.
YAY!
Pwoop :( We'll have to rectify this situation soon enough.
But in the meantime, into the volcano! It's a nice, creepy theme with a lot of strange noises and echoes. No, that's not someone going "woogle-woogle" with a sheet of tin, what are you talking about
I hate it when I end up with enemies above me. Plz don't jump on my head, Mr. Viper :<
So yeah. The volcano is your standard-issue video game Lav-a-matic, with the key difference of there being big rocks blocking the way forward every five seconds. Obviously, we need some Levitation goin' down...er...up, here. Better look around for some Mud Peppers.
Not a Mud Pepper :(
Not a Mud Pepper :(
Mud Pepper! :D
And I can even levitate it right from here! That's what I call user-friendly! Well, as user-friendly as you get inside a volcano, at least.
Wiggly-woop
Wiggly-woop
Wiggly-woooooop. Dang, I had hoped I'd be able to step across it. I RESCIND MY USER-FRIENDLY COMMENT.
TEH MIGHTY HUNTAR DANCES ON THE GRAVE OF HIS QUARRAY. Oh dang, another rock D:
sdlkjldfhysdkl;'l;kjl; EVERYTHING BLEEDS PETALS
Generally, when given a choice of paths to take in here (and you will get a lot), you wanna go up first.
And this is why. THESE rocks are our friends :D
WHAMPH I HIT THE ROCK
Rock: *hover* :B
Matt: Psst...gravity.
Rock: OH SHI
Rock: *dies and is ded*
Andre: lol suffering
Ta-da! Path ho!
VIPER GANG HO ALSO AAAAAH
ka-PATH
ka-PEPPER
ka-POWER
A rock or two later, we reach...MORE VOLCANO! I am psyched people, psyched
A cave without a dude! :O This is a first.
Oh boy, I almost have enough for a Yellow Flute now :D
Why are people who live INSIDE A VOLCANO collecting bits of ash? Isn't that kind of like a New Yorker collecting hobos? THEY'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE, GUYS.
Welp, these rocks won't lift themselves. Back to work.
Now that I've seen the terrain, I'm kind of questioning the intelligence of the species living on it. Isn't it dangerous enough living in a volcano without the factor of wheels + sharp cliffs that drop directly into boiling lava? The Darwinian imperative is not strong in these ones.
Which makes me feel better about DRIVING THEM TO EXTINCTION >D
THE LAST ONE HOORAY! I think this was the one I missed the first time through. Backtracking to Blimp's hut out of half the volcano and the ENTIRE swamp was NOT fun.
Uh, Matt, maybe you shouldn't be standing there--
Rock: *CLONK*
Matt: :D
Sweet BUGGERY your head is hard :O
wtf wtf wtf. I know there's always a sewer level, but in a VOLCANO? Something strange is afoot here.
:O
Matt: Saw you!
Raptor: No you didn't!
Raptor: *goosh goosh goosh goosh*
Raptor: AND AWAY
asdfksdjfhlalhtk;ytjhkl ROM CRASH FTL D: D: D: And guess what? The last time I had saved was in Blimp's hut, so I got to do a mirror journey of my mishap from last time. WHEEEEEEEEE.
In truth, though, it was for the best...
...because I missed a room! This game loves hiding people in walls, I swear.
Trial and error, sir. Trial and error.
Because nothing says "paragon of safety and comfort" like the inside of an active volcano.
Inside of an active volcano filled with murderous lizards, right, forgot that part.
Quick! Somebody invent the SUV! Wait, we don't have fossil fuel yet, do we? Touchy subject. I guess we'll just save the world, then. I guess.
I picture him saying this in the most sarcastic tone EVER. Hand-waving and eye-rolling and all. I think Matt gets that a lot.
A good ASS-KICKING
Or just drugs. If there's Drano in that formula, I'm out of here, mister.
I can't snort that :< WHAT KIND OF DEALER ARE YOU
Fine, I'll take your janky-ass formula. This isn't one I use a lot, but I'll try to remember to use it at least once for you guys.
sdusf'pikp'';jl WHERE WERE YOU BEFORE MY ROM CRASHED
The next time I'm dicking around in the bowels of an active volcano, sure. Are you the brother of the guy up top?
Anyway, where were we? Oh yeah, sewers. How...picturesque.
Welp, not getting any less stench-ridden. Might as well get it over with.
Harry Mason: Have you seen my little daughter?
Matt: wtf
Harry Mason: Oh yeah, and watch out for the ceiling lizards.
Matt: AAAAAH *dismemberment*
Harry Mason: Huh. Body parts. What's up with these body parts?
Andre: dorks |(
Wheeeeeeeeeeee
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
AAAAAAAAAAAAH
What ho, what ho, what ho! A fresh byway!
...that leads back to the beginning. Pwoop.
In case you didn't pick up on the scenery, this area is a maze of pipes that drop into different rooms. It's actually not as bad as you'd think, as there are more pipes than rooms--just try every turn, and you'll be out before you know it. This is especially easy if you have a ROM and can rewind every time you take a wrong turn. YES I'M A BIG FAT CHEATER I KNOW. I've done it legit, shut up.
Oh yeah, some of the rooms are filled with flesh-eating dinosaurs. Forgot to mention, sorry.
Matt stops...
...and apparently looks THROUGH THE WALL. Matt, is there something you're not telling us? Have you been eating Gamma-O's for breakfast?
Thank you, Captain States-the-Obvious.
Hm, a room with a light over it. I WONDER IF THAT MIGHT BE IMPORTANT.
Bingo bangai-o!
YAY!
...wait, do we have to get back there now? Crap.
Makes me wanna STAB SOMETHING
:O IT SPEAKS
Gosh, that's a nice thing for a guy with a spear in his viscera to say.
Viper: Some of us are barbarians!
Viper: But not the Plesiosaurs. Snooty bastards.
Andre: *kills random bugs in acute boredom*
Matt: Golly, Mr. Viper, you're all right :D
Viper: I'm also bleeding profusely.
*laughtrack*
~Movin' on up
Man, I'm racking up a lot of clingy friends here. Nothing's worse than a dinosaur sobbing "WHY DON'T YOU EVER CALL ME" at you.
Anyway, backtracking time. Whee.
Oh yeah, you can run against the current, it's just reaaaaally slow. Better off rewinding.
And so we continue our...JOURNEY TO THE CENTER OF THE EARTH
This is...atypical center of the earth fare :/ What the heck is going on, anyway?
Hey, that looks like...
:O!
kiddo!
Yeah, I lost a screenshot. I suck :<
OR MAYBE MATT JUST INTERRUPTED HER. YOU'LL NEVER KNOW.
I wish I could make an entrance like that. Girl got style, yo.
*cough*
She's gonna say it. Ohhhh, she's gonna say it. Say it!
SHE SAID IT SHE SAID IT WE HAVE EVIL TWINNAGE :D I love this game so much. SO MUCH.
THIS IS CLASSIC STUFF, HERE.
Um, Evil!Fire Eyes?
~The sun is a mass of incandescent gas
A gigantic nuclear furnace
Where hydrogen is built into helium
At a temperature of millions of degrees
The sun is hot
The sun is not
A place where we can live
But here on Earth
There'd be no life
Without the light it gives
NOT volcano. SUN. You fail at heat.
And you fail at Ice Age. YOU ARE TWINS.
Fire Eyes: But won't you be worse off, as reptiles are cold-blooded?
Evil!Fire Eyes: SHUT UP MONOLOGUING
ka-DRAMATIC PAUSE
Your Fire Eyes a'splode D:
Matt: HELLO :D
Andre: > <
Hum.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
My screencapping is awesome, I know |D
Okay, yeah. I forgot to get this thing's name, but he basically rolls around, casts heat spells, breathes fire, and makes a whole mess o' trouble. This wouldn't be so bad...
...if he couldn't HEAL HIMSELF WITH FIRE. So much hate for self-healing bosses. SO MUCH HATE.
Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Nyeeeeeroop!
Andre charges to full capacity, and...
KAPOW! Now we're cookin' with environmentally-friendly gasoline substitute :D
Matt's girly arms are much less impressive. PUT SOME BACKBONE INTO IT, SONNY
Oh yeah, those heat spells hit HARD. Lot of healing needs to be happening here.
He randomly freaks out sometimes. I think Detritus here has issues :<
TOO BAD
No, I didn't randomly teleport, I rewound. No, I don't remember why. I'm brilliant |D
Well, I should hope so. It'd be a pretty sucky game otherwise.
*cough*
Evil!Fire Eyes' Valtiel impression is a real hit at parties.
Why, where are you--
--oh. Your Evil!Fire Eyes a'splode D:
Uh-oh.
Uh-oh.
Screen: *shakeshake*
Oh no.
Oh crap.
Oh shit!
OH FU--
BADABOOOOOM
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaa *wheeze* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaah forget it.
Why, a River Beside the Volcano! (See what I did there? Clever!)
WHAM
Oh, hey, this isn't so bad.
Matt: :D
Andre: |(
Matt: :)
Andre: |(
Matt: :O
Andre: |(
Matt: D:
Andre: |(
more AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Excel: *falls by* HAIL ILPALAZZOOOOOOOOO!
Andre: buncha dorks |(
Lovely overlays, really, just lovely.
...wait, where were we?
Oh yeah. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
And so fades the scene! Will this ridiculously long fall be the last for Boy and Dog? Find out next time, in Screencaps of Evermore: Brave New World!
mmmmmmmelodrama |D
In the last edition, Boy and Dog got hopelessly lost in a large and very expensive swamp, proved that snake eating isn't just for reticulated pythons anymore, and finally received the coveted alchemical ingredient needed for a vital formula. Will they be able to conquer the Vipers inside the rapidly-cooling volcano? Let's find out!
I spared you the trip back through the swamp. I am so bad with that area. SO BAD.
Andre: I'm poisoned here >(
It's WIGGLY-WOOP TIME, walk it off
Let's ROCK! THAT! ROCK!
Wiggly-woop
Wiggly-woop
Wiggly-woop
Wiggly-woop
Wiggly-woop
Wiggly-woop
Wiggly-woop this is fascinating isn't it
Wiggly-woop
Wiggly-wooooooooooop.
YAY!
Pwoop :( We'll have to rectify this situation soon enough.
But in the meantime, into the volcano! It's a nice, creepy theme with a lot of strange noises and echoes. No, that's not someone going "woogle-woogle" with a sheet of tin, what are you talking about
I hate it when I end up with enemies above me. Plz don't jump on my head, Mr. Viper :<
So yeah. The volcano is your standard-issue video game Lav-a-matic, with the key difference of there being big rocks blocking the way forward every five seconds. Obviously, we need some Levitation goin' down...er...up, here. Better look around for some Mud Peppers.
Not a Mud Pepper :(
Not a Mud Pepper :(
Mud Pepper! :D
And I can even levitate it right from here! That's what I call user-friendly! Well, as user-friendly as you get inside a volcano, at least.
Wiggly-woop
Wiggly-woop
Wiggly-woooooop. Dang, I had hoped I'd be able to step across it. I RESCIND MY USER-FRIENDLY COMMENT.
TEH MIGHTY HUNTAR DANCES ON THE GRAVE OF HIS QUARRAY. Oh dang, another rock D:
sdlkjldfhysdkl;'l;kjl; EVERYTHING BLEEDS PETALS
Generally, when given a choice of paths to take in here (and you will get a lot), you wanna go up first.
And this is why. THESE rocks are our friends :D
WHAMPH I HIT THE ROCK
Rock: *hover* :B
Matt: Psst...gravity.
Rock: OH SHI
Rock: *dies and is ded*
Andre: lol suffering
Ta-da! Path ho!
VIPER GANG HO ALSO AAAAAH
ka-PATH
ka-PEPPER
ka-POWER
A rock or two later, we reach...MORE VOLCANO! I am psyched people, psyched
A cave without a dude! :O This is a first.
Oh boy, I almost have enough for a Yellow Flute now :D
Why are people who live INSIDE A VOLCANO collecting bits of ash? Isn't that kind of like a New Yorker collecting hobos? THEY'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE, GUYS.
Welp, these rocks won't lift themselves. Back to work.
Now that I've seen the terrain, I'm kind of questioning the intelligence of the species living on it. Isn't it dangerous enough living in a volcano without the factor of wheels + sharp cliffs that drop directly into boiling lava? The Darwinian imperative is not strong in these ones.
Which makes me feel better about DRIVING THEM TO EXTINCTION >D
THE LAST ONE HOORAY! I think this was the one I missed the first time through. Backtracking to Blimp's hut out of half the volcano and the ENTIRE swamp was NOT fun.
Uh, Matt, maybe you shouldn't be standing there--
Rock: *CLONK*
Matt: :D
Sweet BUGGERY your head is hard :O
wtf wtf wtf. I know there's always a sewer level, but in a VOLCANO? Something strange is afoot here.
:O
Matt: Saw you!
Raptor: No you didn't!
Raptor: *goosh goosh goosh goosh*
Raptor: AND AWAY
asdfksdjfhlalhtk;ytjhkl ROM CRASH FTL D: D: D: And guess what? The last time I had saved was in Blimp's hut, so I got to do a mirror journey of my mishap from last time. WHEEEEEEEEE.
In truth, though, it was for the best...
...because I missed a room! This game loves hiding people in walls, I swear.
Trial and error, sir. Trial and error.
Because nothing says "paragon of safety and comfort" like the inside of an active volcano.
Inside of an active volcano filled with murderous lizards, right, forgot that part.
Quick! Somebody invent the SUV! Wait, we don't have fossil fuel yet, do we? Touchy subject. I guess we'll just save the world, then. I guess.
I picture him saying this in the most sarcastic tone EVER. Hand-waving and eye-rolling and all. I think Matt gets that a lot.
A good ASS-KICKING
Or just drugs. If there's Drano in that formula, I'm out of here, mister.
I can't snort that :< WHAT KIND OF DEALER ARE YOU
Fine, I'll take your janky-ass formula. This isn't one I use a lot, but I'll try to remember to use it at least once for you guys.
sdusf'pikp'';jl WHERE WERE YOU BEFORE MY ROM CRASHED
The next time I'm dicking around in the bowels of an active volcano, sure. Are you the brother of the guy up top?
Anyway, where were we? Oh yeah, sewers. How...picturesque.
Welp, not getting any less stench-ridden. Might as well get it over with.
Harry Mason: Have you seen my little daughter?
Matt: wtf
Harry Mason: Oh yeah, and watch out for the ceiling lizards.
Matt: AAAAAH *dismemberment*
Harry Mason: Huh. Body parts. What's up with these body parts?
Andre: dorks |(
Wheeeeeeeeeeee
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
AAAAAAAAAAAAH
What ho, what ho, what ho! A fresh byway!
...that leads back to the beginning. Pwoop.
In case you didn't pick up on the scenery, this area is a maze of pipes that drop into different rooms. It's actually not as bad as you'd think, as there are more pipes than rooms--just try every turn, and you'll be out before you know it. This is especially easy if you have a ROM and can rewind every time you take a wrong turn. YES I'M A BIG FAT CHEATER I KNOW. I've done it legit, shut up.
Oh yeah, some of the rooms are filled with flesh-eating dinosaurs. Forgot to mention, sorry.
Matt stops...
...and apparently looks THROUGH THE WALL. Matt, is there something you're not telling us? Have you been eating Gamma-O's for breakfast?
Thank you, Captain States-the-Obvious.
Hm, a room with a light over it. I WONDER IF THAT MIGHT BE IMPORTANT.
Bingo bangai-o!
YAY!
...wait, do we have to get back there now? Crap.
Makes me wanna STAB SOMETHING
:O IT SPEAKS
Gosh, that's a nice thing for a guy with a spear in his viscera to say.
Viper: Some of us are barbarians!
Viper: But not the Plesiosaurs. Snooty bastards.
Andre: *kills random bugs in acute boredom*
Matt: Golly, Mr. Viper, you're all right :D
Viper: I'm also bleeding profusely.
*laughtrack*
~Movin' on up
Man, I'm racking up a lot of clingy friends here. Nothing's worse than a dinosaur sobbing "WHY DON'T YOU EVER CALL ME" at you.
Anyway, backtracking time. Whee.
Oh yeah, you can run against the current, it's just reaaaaally slow. Better off rewinding.
And so we continue our...JOURNEY TO THE CENTER OF THE EARTH
This is...atypical center of the earth fare :/ What the heck is going on, anyway?
Hey, that looks like...
:O!
kiddo!
Yeah, I lost a screenshot. I suck :<
OR MAYBE MATT JUST INTERRUPTED HER. YOU'LL NEVER KNOW.
I wish I could make an entrance like that. Girl got style, yo.
*cough*
She's gonna say it. Ohhhh, she's gonna say it. Say it!
SHE SAID IT SHE SAID IT WE HAVE EVIL TWINNAGE :D I love this game so much. SO MUCH.
THIS IS CLASSIC STUFF, HERE.
Um, Evil!Fire Eyes?
~The sun is a mass of incandescent gas
A gigantic nuclear furnace
Where hydrogen is built into helium
At a temperature of millions of degrees
The sun is hot
The sun is not
A place where we can live
But here on Earth
There'd be no life
Without the light it gives
NOT volcano. SUN. You fail at heat.
And you fail at Ice Age. YOU ARE TWINS.
Fire Eyes: But won't you be worse off, as reptiles are cold-blooded?
Evil!Fire Eyes: SHUT UP MONOLOGUING
ka-DRAMATIC PAUSE
Your Fire Eyes a'splode D:
Matt: HELLO :D
Andre: > <
Hum.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
My screencapping is awesome, I know |D
Okay, yeah. I forgot to get this thing's name, but he basically rolls around, casts heat spells, breathes fire, and makes a whole mess o' trouble. This wouldn't be so bad...
...if he couldn't HEAL HIMSELF WITH FIRE. So much hate for self-healing bosses. SO MUCH HATE.
Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Nyeeeeeroop!
Andre charges to full capacity, and...
KAPOW! Now we're cookin' with environmentally-friendly gasoline substitute :D
Matt's girly arms are much less impressive. PUT SOME BACKBONE INTO IT, SONNY
Oh yeah, those heat spells hit HARD. Lot of healing needs to be happening here.
He randomly freaks out sometimes. I think Detritus here has issues :<
TOO BAD
No, I didn't randomly teleport, I rewound. No, I don't remember why. I'm brilliant |D
Well, I should hope so. It'd be a pretty sucky game otherwise.
*cough*
Evil!Fire Eyes' Valtiel impression is a real hit at parties.
Why, where are you--
--oh. Your Evil!Fire Eyes a'splode D:
Uh-oh.
Uh-oh.
Screen: *shakeshake*
Oh no.
Oh crap.
Oh shit!
OH FU--
BADABOOOOOM
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaa *wheeze* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaah forget it.
Why, a River Beside the Volcano! (See what I did there? Clever!)
WHAM
Oh, hey, this isn't so bad.
Matt: :D
Andre: |(
Matt: :)
Andre: |(
Matt: :O
Andre: |(
Matt: D:
Andre: |(
more AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Excel: *falls by* HAIL ILPALAZZOOOOOOOOO!
Andre: buncha dorks |(
Lovely overlays, really, just lovely.
...wait, where were we?
Oh yeah. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
And so fades the scene! Will this ridiculously long fall be the last for Boy and Dog? Find out next time, in Screencaps of Evermore: Brave New World!
mmmmmmmelodrama |D