[Multi-Part] Lessons Learned (GacktDa) - Part 3
Title: Lessons Learned
Pairing: GacktDa
Rating: PG-13
Warning: When I started, my muse was bipolar. Expect similar mood-swings from the fic. It’s not that great- at all- but I hope that you enjoy just having something to read, at least. Oh, and a bit of boy on boy action for those who endure it.
Disclaimer: I don’t own anybody whose name resembles an idol/celebrity’s O_o
Summary: Tatsuya’s having trouble in Chemistry and his ever-helpful sister decides she’s gonna help him find a tutor. Drama ensues.
| Part 1 | Part 2 |
Part 3
When Gackt’s stacked all the clean dishes on the counter, he sneaks upstairs and opens the door with his usual light step, to find Tatsuya asleep with his arms on his desk over his history notes. Gackt doesn’t know if he should laugh or frown. He checks Tatsuya’s forehead and, deciding he’s just worn out, gently nudges Tatsuya’s shoulder. He gets only a mumble in reply and he can’t quite bring himself to leave the poor guy sleeping in such an uncomfortable place. So Gackt tugs the bed-sheets down and gently moves the chair back and gets an arm around Tatsuya’s knees and back. He carries him over to the bed, smiling softly as Tatsuya makes little noises and turns toward Gackt’s warmth, instinctively seeking company even in sleep. Gackt lays him down and pulls the sheets over him and Tatsuya curls up into a ball and whines, now half-awake. “Gackt?”
Gackt chuckles. “Sshh, go back to sleep, Tatsuya. I’ll see myself out.”
But Tatsuya reaches for his shirt and grasps the fabric reflexively when Gackt moves to leave, but then abruptly releases it when he realizes what he’s doing. “S-sorry, go ahead. Thanks for your help today…” he curls up tighter and burrows deeper into his pillow.
Gackt frowns at him and sits down on the bed in the crescent space above Tatsuya’s knees. He adjusts the blanket again and brushes Tatsuya’s raven-dark hair from his face, saying, “If you want me to stay a while, you don’t have to be afraid to ask.”
Tatsuya reaches up and covers Gackt’s hand with his own. “Please stay a bit,” he requests, though he can’t look Gackt in the eyes.
The older student doesn’t mind. He gestures for Tatsuya to move back and lies down alongside Tatsuya facing him, allowing Tatsuya to stretch out and cuddle up close under his arm. Gackt just sort of lies there, watching the gentle swell of Tatsuya’s chest as he breathes, and after a moment he sighs softly in resignation. He says, “It… might be bad if I’m still around when your family gets home.”
Tatsuya’s eyes, then closed, now open as a frown settles on his face. “I don’t care. There’s nothing for them to be concerned about… so why should I care?”
“But your father…”
“He’s already concerned, and I already told him he’s got no business to be,” Tatsuya says and Gackt stills, surprised by the resolve and the steel in Tatsuya’s voice. But before he can remarks on it, Tatsuya goes on in a whisper, “…You know, I was always afraid you didn’t notice me… or didn’t like me, or something- before,” he closes his eyes again, relaxing further into his pillow.
“Before?”
Tatsuya’s voice is confiding in a way only sleepy speakers’ can be. “You know, when you and Hi-chan and Hyde-senpai used to hang out a lot in high school,” Tatsuya’s voice is so quiet he would have been unheard if Gackt weren’t so close, listening so hard. “I was always too shy to get close, even when… when you were just another friend of Nee-chan’s. It got a lot scarier when you guys graduated…”
Gackt’s fingers are tracing idle patterns on Tatsuya’s back. “We stuck close, though,” he says.
Tatsuya hums. “Yeah, you did.”
“I wouldn’t have been able to go far,” Gackt adds, and Tatsuya’s eyes flutter open though he’s obviously exhausted.
“Why not? I thought you’d like to go study in France? Travel around, see the world an’ all that?”
Gackt smiles softly. “Not alone. I’m still bound to Tokyo for a little while yet.”
Tatsuya’s frown is confused, and the fluid light in them is gradually darkening, freezing up, despairing. “Bound?” he asks.
The dull ache in Gackt’s chest is mirroring the boy’s, he’s sure, but he keeps smiling despite it. He just needs him to understand. “It’s more of a lifeline than anything.”
Tatsuya’s eyes close again, but this time there’s a wrinkle between his brows and he’s tense again, despite the soothing warmth from the arm around his shoulders. “And how long a wait do you have for this lifeline?”
Gackt’s whisper is lightly teasing now. “Oh, a year, maybe two.”
“And why’s that?”
“He still has to graduate, and I still have to convince him to come with me.”
Tatsuya shivers and suddenly Gackt is too close, too warm, and he’s promising too much. He fidgets and wriggles to put some space between them. He looks up at those azure-tinted eyes with an unspoken question, and finds no reason to doubt. “Do think it will be hard to convince him?”
Gackt smiles, stopping Tatsuya from moving away by shifting closer himself and wrapping his arm more firmly around Tatsuya’s back. “I don’t know. I used to worry he’d be too afraid, but I don’t anymore. Now I worry that he’ll want to follow his own, different dreams.”
“…If it’s you, I don’t think he’ll mind the detour,” Tatsuya whispers.
They lapse into silence then, one contemplative and one simply content. Tatsuya still has a light frown on his face despite that he’s relaxed again, and it’s the only thing still bothering Gackt, so he props himself up on one elbow and, tracing Tatsuya’s bottom lip with his thumb, he murmurs, “Stop frowning like that all the time.”
Tatsuya licks his lips nervously, trembling a little with the effort of staying still. “What do you mean? This is just my usual expression.”
Blue eyes narrow at him and Tatsuya’s amber ones turn away. Gackt says, “We need to change your usual expression. I don’t like you looking so sad.”
“I’m not-” his defensive tone crumbles as he changes his mind. “I’m not…always sad…”
Gackt’s hand leaves Tatsuya’s cheek and moves back to his shoulder instead. “How about we make a deal, then?”
“A deal?”
“Yes. I’ll protect you from this sadness now,” he holds up a finger as Tatsuya goes to speak, “and you’ll consider protecting me from loneliness later. And from doing stupid things in new places,” he adds with a crooked grin.
“I would do that anyway if I could…” Tatsuya mutters.
“But excuses are always good for effect,” Gackt remarks. “Just like right now I could say I’m here because I want Hinoko-chan’s cute little brother succeed in class,” he grins wider at the rose unfolding on Tatsuya’s cheeks, “But excuses aside, I just want to be here, and I like having you all to myself for a little while each week.”
The more Gackt speaks, the braver Tatsuya feels, though it’s still a struggle to ‘casually’ ask, “So… would I still need the excuse of school help if I wanted you to stay even after I don’t need tutoring anymore?”
Gackt adopts a scolding tone, “That would be lying.”
“Then we don’t need an excuse!”
“How does, ‘because you’re my boyfriend,’ sound for an excuse?”
The rose sweeps into a full-blown flame and spreads down Tatsuya’s chest. “…That’s a nice excuse,” he confides meekly. “When should we adopt that?”
Tatsuya will never again hear of someone capable of being one-hundred percent serious and one hundred percent teasing at the same instant in time, as Gackt is now. “After the old excuse starts fading into a lie. You must let it run its course,” he says mock-sagely.
Tatsuya pouts, and then has to hide a yawn in his pillow before he can complain.
Gackt just chuckles. “Time to sleep, I think. You deserve your rest. I’ll see myself out for now; I’ll leave my number so you can mail me when you’d like to have another session. Good night, Tatsuya,” he slides off the bed and straightens his clothes, secretly feeling guilty for putting such a tormented look on Tatsuya’s fair features.
“…Okay, I’ll mail you later…” the high schooler turns over and huddles under his blankets, the would-be excitement of getting Gackt’s number eclipsed by fatigue. “Good night.”
Gackt flicks the lights off and gently closes the door, and Tatsuya barely registers hearing the front door closing before his mind fades out.
| Part 4 |