Sakura Michi - Chapter 9 -
Title: Even Cherry Blossom Paths Can Lead Astray
Pairing: KameDa, KoKame friendship, MaruDa friendship
Rating: This chapter... 14-A-ish for swearing
Genre: romance, drama
Disclaimer: I don’t own them! I wish I did, but I never will (tear)
Warning: Lots of random guy-on-guy smut, some swearing and alcohol use. And another Uncommunicative!Ueda character (laugh)
Summary: (based between Cartoon KAT-TUN II You tour and Queen of Pirates) Kame and Ueda have been going steady since shortly after Jin left for L.A. and Kame finally decided to confess… but what happens when the little things start pushing the two apart? Will they be able to bridge the growing gap, and when Kame decides to take things into his own hands, how does it bode for his lover?
A/N: this story is modeled after my older writing: it alternates between Kame’s and Ueda’s P.o.V. It’ll be marked, but try to keep track or you’ll get confused! (Believe me: I’ve done it XD )
| Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3| Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 |
| Chapter 6| Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 |
Chapter 9
- Ueda’s P.o.V. -
“Why do I have this strange feeling of foreboding?” I mutter.
“Eh?” Junnosuke’s closest to me, it seems and the only one who hears.
“Nothing, nevermind,” I shrug him off.
“Are you feeling alright? Oh yeah, are you busy tonight?”
I glance over at Kamenashi. He briefly meets my gaze before turning back to Koki-kun and Jin-kun’s talking. “Yeah,” I answer Junnosuke, turning back. “Yeah, I’m busy. What were you going to ask?”
“I was just wondering if you wanted to hang out for a while with Yucchi and me after work for a bit but that’s okay.”
“Maybe next time, nee?”
“Sure,” he smiles brightly and returns to his DS.
I glance back to Kamenashi but he’s still talking to Koki-kun, looking completely immersed in whatever it is they’re talking about. I sigh and pull out a book.
After work - only a Johnny’s would have work on a Sunday. What if I was really religious or something?-I decide to go for a run before Kamenashi arrives to get rid of some of this weird pent-up tension. I haven’t been as regular with my runs as I’d like, the past few weeks but hopefully it won’t be too bad…
“Oh God… let’s not bump it up the extra few km just yet,” I pant as I walk through the door. I glance to the clock. I still have an hour before he’ll arrive. Plenty of time to shower and cook up the stuff I bought earlier.
In the shower, the hot water loosens and relaxes my tired muscles and I sigh. Only, I can’t seem to get rid of this weird feeling like… I don’t know. And my shoulders are so tense I almost have a headache. Whatever, I’ll give up on it. I don’t have forever to enjoy the hot steam.
After making dinner and deciding to wait for Kamenashi, I sit at the keyboard and try to find a melody for my solo. Nothing really feels right, and after a few minutes tapping at the keys, I start to daydream.
Until my phone starts buzzing. I blink a few times and check the clock. Kamenashi’s late. I pick up my phone. “Hello?”
At first, I think it’s just a prank call, but it’s weird, because I can hear… traffic?... in the background. “Hello? K-Kamenashi, is that you?”
“Tatsuya…”
I go very, very still. This is Kamenashi, but why does his voice sound--
“Tatsuya, I-I’m sorry. I’m not coming to dinner tonight… I’m sorry. Tatsuya, I won’t be coming over at all for a long time.”
“K-Kazuya…? Why? Kazuya, where are you? Tell me right now, Kazuya!” My pulse starts to go crazy and suddenly, the room can’t possibly have enough air to fill my starving lungs.
“I’m sorry… I-I can’t take it anymore. I can’t be like this Tatsuya… I can’t do this anymore! I think… I think we’d better stop seeing each other… this way.”
“Kazuya, what are you talking about? Please, just tell me where you are! I want to see you, we’ll talk about it, I promise we’ll talk about, just don’t say these things… please, Kazuya, I’m begging you, don’t...!” my voice catches and I choke. “Please…” I beg. “Kazuya, don’t do this to me! Not like this! Not over the fucking phone, Kazuya!” if I was there, I’m sure I could see his flinch. “Please, just tell me where you are…”
Somewhere outside, a man yells at someone else, and a second later, I hear the echo in my phone.
“Kazuya? Are you…” I run to the door, slipping on the first shoes I see and bolting straight back out the door. I take the stairs, trying not to fall over my legs that are still so tired, so weak from all that damn running…
“Tatsuya… don’t… please don’t come see me, please. This is hard enough… but I can’t take it, Tatsuya. You never tell me anything, I’m always the last to know things and I never know what you’re thinking! So just let me go…”
“Kazuya, if this is Koki telling you these things, if this is that bastard making you do this-”
“Don’t talk about Koki that way!” he yells into the phone and I stop dead in my tracks just inside the apartment lobby doors. He’s standing there, phone in hand, shaking like he’ll collapse any minute. “Don’t talk about Koki that way…” Kazuya pleads weakly.
Something burning, some intense flare of something grips my chest so hard it takes all my force not to double over and sob. Then the fury erupts. “No… you’re not… Kazuya, please tell me you’re not…”
“I don’t know what I am anymore, Tatsuya. And I don’t know what I’m doing,” I can see his tears from here and my fingers ache to brush them away and hold him tightly against me until they stop and he smiles at me like he always does again.
I move to go to him, but he backs up in time with my own steps until I’m a pace from the black mat on the floor in front of the automatic doors. Something in me breaks, seeing his face. Please, God, if you’re there… don’t tell me I did that to him… don’t tell me I hurt him this bad, please tell me I didn’t loose those tears from his eyes…“Kazuya…”
“Don’t-! Don’t come near me… don’t come see me anymore, Tatsuya. We won’t have work for a few days; by the time we go back, I’ll be able to do it but not right no-”
“And what if I want to right now?!” I scream at him. “What if I don’t want to give you away? What if I want you to stay with me? What if I still love you, Kazuya?!”
He closes his eyes painfully and his free hand reaches up to grip his heart. He shakes his head. “I’m sorry… I’m sorry, Tatsuya… I’m so sorry for everything but… I have to think about myself this time,” he looks back up at me and the blood freezes in my veins.
He’s really going to do it. He’s really leaving me. He doesn’t love me anymore, he can’t love me anymore, not looking at me like that… my phone snaps shut and I take the last step that brings me to the pad that’ll open the doors. He takes a short breath, bowing his head and when he looks back up at me, it’s not Kazuya, it’s a stranger. A really broken, really tired, completely defeated stranger. I stagger, I lurch forward to catch his wrist.
He pulls his hand back like I’m some venomous snake and with a last heartbreaking, pleading look, he turns tail and runs. He runs from me. Me. And the worst part is, when he reaches the corner, he doesn’t look back.
Even if I wanted to, I couldn’t chase him. My chest hurts so bad and my throat might as well have a chain around it it’s so tight and my eyes won’t stop streaming and my sight is so blurry and my heart… I think it’s going to stop any second now. I collapse to the ground and shiver with the pain and the chill.
And then it starts to rain. “Fuck… you’ve got to be FUCKING KIDDING ME!” I yell at the sky and after who knows how long, I finally manage to drag myself to my feet and get back inside. I sit in my apartment for a long, long time before I finally get the strength in my arm to lift it, flip open my phone and hit the speed-dial.
“Hello?”
“Maru…” I try to say something else, but no sound escapes my lips.
“I’ll be right over,” he says and the line goes dead.
Why am I so weak? Why didn’t I stop this from happening? Why won’t this pain go away? Why is it that when Maru finally arrives, almost tripping over me in the entrance-way, that I still can’t bring myself to move?
“Jesus, what happened to you?” Maru mutters, pulling me up. “Come on, at least dry yourself off. People like us can’t afford colds, you know.”
Somehow, Maru’s mothering helps a little. Yet, the realization that I’ve just made all my nightmares- every single fucking one of them- with my own two hands and shut lips come true is tearing me apart.
On to | Chapter 10 |