Made To Order
Here's another "friendship" ficlet for
still_grrr .
This one is about Dawn and Tara.
Made To Order
Memories spill over into being, forming themselves to create someone new. Someone special.
They drop, one onto another, in a haphazard pile. Slowly they knit themselves together, and start to build a life… from the bottom up.
My knee hurt and I cried. Buffy picked me up, and gave me a hug.
“Shh. It’s okay. Let’s go ask Mom for ice-cream.”
A space is formed, between the chosen group - a space where no space was. And gently, so gently, they begin pushing a life in through the gaps.
Well, not actually a life - not yet. More the pre-life echoes of what will soon be. The birth-pangs, if you will.
“Is Daddy going to come back home?” Mommy cuddled me, and didn’t say anything.
A lot of this may seem like unnecessary filler. But really, it is of the utmost importance.
Life, you see, is fragile.
Buffy’s friends were watching a movie.
The boy looked over and saw me. “Hi. You must be Dawn.” He held out the bowl. “Want some popcorn?”
Life must be whole - complete - or it will shatter in your hands.
And so history is rewritten, not in one leap, but moment by moment. Memory by memory.
It’s all important.
“…and the bishop goes in diagonal lines, and the knight does L shapes.” I smiled. “See? I am ready to play!”
Willow nodded. “Okay. We’ll try one game. And don’t worry - I’ll talk you through the tricky moves.”
Even the smallest parts.
It was really unfair, because it wasn’t my bedtime yet, but Mom said “upstairs”, and I went. And I couldn’t even hear what they were saying. And the blond man had looked really interesting, too…
One by one, every person is picked up, examined, and reshaped to fit the new reality. They must be subtly changed - properly fitted to protect this most precious of humanity’s possessions.
Each one of them has a role to play.
“Hey, midget.” Faith gave me a high five.
Some will guide her.
“Dawn, this book is very rare, and very valuable. Please, don’t touch it.”
Some will provide for her.
“Morning, pumpkin. Waffles, or cereal?”
Some will protect her.
“Would you stop being so annoying!”
And some will be her friends.
Xander wore a really cool shirt that day. He’s so cute! And really funny.
All these people - all these memories - will help to shape this life into what it is becoming.
Every memory will contribute.
If Buffy and Riley started groping on the couch again, I was going to vomit.
Every moment must fit.
Willow smiled at me. “Dawn, this is my friend Tara.”
And this one - this person will be important.
Very important.
“Hi, Tara. Do you go to college with Buffy and Willow?”
A motherless woman for a soon-to-be-motherless Key… um… girl.
Everyone has a role to play.
“Buffy’s out slaying things.”
Tara nodded. “I know. I thought you might want some company.”
That was kinda nice of her. And we had lots of fun watching tv together.
It is, in fact, a near-perfect fit.
It was funny how adorable a ball of string could be in the right paws.
“She’s so cute! What’s her name?”
“Well, she doesn’t really have one yet.”
“How about… um… Miss Kitty Fantastico!”
And so the old reality is moulded to hold this friendship in place, and a college student shifts, ever so slightly, to make room in her life for a little girl.
“Merry Christmas.”
“It’s June.”
And she knew that, but she gave me the present anyway. It was a new diary - which was great because my latest one was almost full.
A little girl who isn’t yet.
“Want to go get milkshakes?”
“Okay!”
It’s not really all that unethical.
True, if it was they’d still do it anyway - the protection provided is so important. Much more important than letting people keep their old thoughts.
Tara stayed over while Mom was at some gallery thing, and we made nachos.
But in this case, the mothering is already there - hidden under shyness and fears.
All they are doing is providing someone to be mothered.
“Bye, Tara! Bye, Willow!”
Willow waved. “Bye, Dawnie! See you soon.”
Tara just smiled, and nodded goodbye.
…on the other side of the world, someone wakes up.
“Willow?”
“mmphlegnormm… Tara? Is something wrong?”
“Did you feel that?”
“What?”
“Like reality just… I don’t know. It was almost like my memories…”
“mmm.”
“Willow?”
“ymmennomph… I’m listeni…”
Tara sits there and tries to figure it out, but everything seems normal. It was probably nothing.