On Duty
Here's a fic, from the early part of season 5.
It was written for still_grrr, for the prompt of "swords".
On Duty
At 2300 hours, October 14, 2000, at the corner of Figaro and Pike, a Caucasian woman with blonde hair walked across the road absentmindedly, carrying a sword and a severed head, and narrowly avoided being hit by their police car.
He hit the brakes sharply, skidding the car to a stop. “Shit! Did you see that?”
Sanchez looked up, far too nonchalantly, spotted the woman (who had just reached the sidewalk), raised an eyebrow, and said, “What the hell - we might as well. After all, it’s a slow night.”
Slow?
Dave was rapidly coming to the conclusion that Sanchez was delusional. Or schizophrenic. Or just plain nuts.
They’d only been partners for three days, and so far, they’d broken up about fifteen bar fights, stopped two robberies, failed to stop three more, investigated ten missing persons cases, and found nine people bleeding to death in alleyways from neck wounds.
And every time they got back to the station, Sanchez’s entire report was a shrug and “it’s pretty quiet out there”.
Slow night? Yeah, ’cause women running round with swords was so uneventful.
At least Sanchez wanted to stop her.
Dave opened the car door, and did a quick inventory. Badge, gun, notebook, cuffs, emergency backup gun… yep. All present and correct.
He sighted the suspect, cautiously reached down and unclipped his holster, and carefully-
“Put the gun away, Anders.”
He paused.
Sanchez was looking exasperated. “What, you’re planning to shoot someone before we’ve even talked to her?”
“But she-”
“That might be how you did things in Missouri, but we’re in Sunnydale. Just… follow my lead.”
…and he just walked after her, not even bothering to check his surroundings.
Dave hesitated, and then followed him.
“Excuse me, miss. One moment.”
She jumped, and spun to face them, putting her hands behind her back. “Er… yes, officers?”
Sanchez talked slowly, politely - clearly doing a slow lead-in to the Dramatic Arrest Of Dangerous Suspect Carrying Disassembled Body Parts. (Dave started mentally writing up his report, and almost missed what his partner was saying.)
“I noticed you crossed the street back there.”
“Yeah, I did.”
“In the middle of the road. With cars everywhere.”
“Um…”
“You are aware that jaywalking is illegal, and can carry a fine?”
“…yes?”
Sanchez was actually threatening to write her up for jaywalking? Jaywalking?
“Do you have a driver’s licence on you, miss? Or any other form of identification?”
She’s carrying a severed head! And a big sword! Why do you need-
“Just a moment.” The woman tried to pass the head (which was now dripping some sort of ooze) from one hand to the other, behind her back, but wasn’t successful. “Oops.” She looked sheepishly at Sanchez, and passed him the sword, using her free hand to pull a wallet out of her back pocket. “It’s in here, I think.”
Big dripping head! Pay attention!
Dave decided to interrupt. “Ma’am, I’m afraid I’m going to need to caution you that-”
“Miss Summers - of Revello Drive.” Sanchez was talking as if Dave hadn’t said anything. “Is this still your address?”
“Yep. That’s my place. Err… my mom’s place, anyway.”
“I see.”
SHE IS CARRYING A HEAD. IT’S DRIPPING WEIRD ORANGE BLOOD ALL OVER THE SIDEWALK. IT’S RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU, SANCHEZ YOU FOOL.
Sanchez cleared his throat sternly. “Well, Miss Summers, you understand that jaywalking is prohibited for a reason? No matter how careful someone thinks they’re being, ignoring the road rules can still get them hurt. And I’m afraid the law is the law, no matter who you are.”
“Yeah. Um… sorry about that.”
“If I see this kind of behaviour again, I will have to fine you.”
She nodded, trying to look contrite. “Thanks, officer. I understand. Really - no more jaywalking. Bad jaywalking. Got it.”
This was just insane.
Sanchez smiled. “Well, that seems to be all.” He passed the sword back to her, commenting, “That’s really a very nice sword - plastic, is it?”
“Uh, yeah.” The woman took the sword in an orange-ooze-covered hand, and it slipped out of her grasp and hit the ground with a very loud clang. She and Sanchez both seemed not to notice. She wiped her hand on her jeans, and picked it up again. “Plastic. Uh-huh.”
There was nothing for it. Dave was going to have to take control of the situation. He reached for his cuffs. “Ma’am, please turn around and put your-”
Sanchez cleared his throat loudly. “Thank you, Miss Summers. You have a nice night.”
“Thanks!”
“Good luck.” He nodded politely, and turned back to the car, steering Dave along with him in a vice-like grip.
“What-”
“Shh.”
“But you-”
“Just get in the car. Trust me.”
Dave pulled out of his grip, and protested, “But she was carrying a weapon! A dangerous weapon! And… and a head! Severed head!”
Sanchez raised an eyebrow. “Really?”
“You just let her go!”
A sigh. “Look, if you want to go back to the station and tell them you saw a blonde girl running down the street carrying a sword, go right ahead. It’ll be entertaining.” He opened the car door, and got in.
Dave followed him, still upset. “Look, Sanchez, you can’t just ignore the law just to make things easier. That’s completely-”
“Shut up, Anders.” Sanchez picked up the radio. “Hey, this is Sanchez.”
“Go ahead, Sanchez,” came the response.
“We’re having a nice night out here. Excellent weather.”
“Ahh. Sunny, hot, practically summer?”
Sunny? Dave looked around, puzzled. No, it was definitely night-time…
“That’s right.” Sanchez paused for a moment, and then continued: “She was heading south - looks like she’d been coming from Sandon Park. You might want to have someone check it out tomorrow morning.”
“Sure. Anything else?”
“Seems to have some new equipment. Standard sword, I think.”
“Okay. Thanks, Sanchez.”
“Not a problem.” He put down the radio, and looked over, raising an eyebrow again. “Well?”
Dave glared at him. “What about the severed head?”
“Taken care of.”
“You just let that woman walk off with it!”
“Exactly.” Sanchez sighed, and motioned for him to start the car. “Give it a couple of years and you’re going to make a good cop, Anders, but you still have a fair bit to learn. Just stick with me - you’ll figure it out eventually.”
It was written for still_grrr, for the prompt of "swords".
On Duty
At 2300 hours, October 14, 2000, at the corner of Figaro and Pike, a Caucasian woman with blonde hair walked across the road absentmindedly, carrying a sword and a severed head, and narrowly avoided being hit by their police car.
He hit the brakes sharply, skidding the car to a stop. “Shit! Did you see that?”
Sanchez looked up, far too nonchalantly, spotted the woman (who had just reached the sidewalk), raised an eyebrow, and said, “What the hell - we might as well. After all, it’s a slow night.”
Slow?
Dave was rapidly coming to the conclusion that Sanchez was delusional. Or schizophrenic. Or just plain nuts.
They’d only been partners for three days, and so far, they’d broken up about fifteen bar fights, stopped two robberies, failed to stop three more, investigated ten missing persons cases, and found nine people bleeding to death in alleyways from neck wounds.
And every time they got back to the station, Sanchez’s entire report was a shrug and “it’s pretty quiet out there”.
Slow night? Yeah, ’cause women running round with swords was so uneventful.
At least Sanchez wanted to stop her.
Dave opened the car door, and did a quick inventory. Badge, gun, notebook, cuffs, emergency backup gun… yep. All present and correct.
He sighted the suspect, cautiously reached down and unclipped his holster, and carefully-
“Put the gun away, Anders.”
He paused.
Sanchez was looking exasperated. “What, you’re planning to shoot someone before we’ve even talked to her?”
“But she-”
“That might be how you did things in Missouri, but we’re in Sunnydale. Just… follow my lead.”
…and he just walked after her, not even bothering to check his surroundings.
Dave hesitated, and then followed him.
“Excuse me, miss. One moment.”
She jumped, and spun to face them, putting her hands behind her back. “Er… yes, officers?”
Sanchez talked slowly, politely - clearly doing a slow lead-in to the Dramatic Arrest Of Dangerous Suspect Carrying Disassembled Body Parts. (Dave started mentally writing up his report, and almost missed what his partner was saying.)
“I noticed you crossed the street back there.”
“Yeah, I did.”
“In the middle of the road. With cars everywhere.”
“Um…”
“You are aware that jaywalking is illegal, and can carry a fine?”
“…yes?”
Sanchez was actually threatening to write her up for jaywalking? Jaywalking?
“Do you have a driver’s licence on you, miss? Or any other form of identification?”
She’s carrying a severed head! And a big sword! Why do you need-
“Just a moment.” The woman tried to pass the head (which was now dripping some sort of ooze) from one hand to the other, behind her back, but wasn’t successful. “Oops.” She looked sheepishly at Sanchez, and passed him the sword, using her free hand to pull a wallet out of her back pocket. “It’s in here, I think.”
Big dripping head! Pay attention!
Dave decided to interrupt. “Ma’am, I’m afraid I’m going to need to caution you that-”
“Miss Summers - of Revello Drive.” Sanchez was talking as if Dave hadn’t said anything. “Is this still your address?”
“Yep. That’s my place. Err… my mom’s place, anyway.”
“I see.”
SHE IS CARRYING A HEAD. IT’S DRIPPING WEIRD ORANGE BLOOD ALL OVER THE SIDEWALK. IT’S RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU, SANCHEZ YOU FOOL.
Sanchez cleared his throat sternly. “Well, Miss Summers, you understand that jaywalking is prohibited for a reason? No matter how careful someone thinks they’re being, ignoring the road rules can still get them hurt. And I’m afraid the law is the law, no matter who you are.”
“Yeah. Um… sorry about that.”
“If I see this kind of behaviour again, I will have to fine you.”
She nodded, trying to look contrite. “Thanks, officer. I understand. Really - no more jaywalking. Bad jaywalking. Got it.”
This was just insane.
Sanchez smiled. “Well, that seems to be all.” He passed the sword back to her, commenting, “That’s really a very nice sword - plastic, is it?”
“Uh, yeah.” The woman took the sword in an orange-ooze-covered hand, and it slipped out of her grasp and hit the ground with a very loud clang. She and Sanchez both seemed not to notice. She wiped her hand on her jeans, and picked it up again. “Plastic. Uh-huh.”
There was nothing for it. Dave was going to have to take control of the situation. He reached for his cuffs. “Ma’am, please turn around and put your-”
Sanchez cleared his throat loudly. “Thank you, Miss Summers. You have a nice night.”
“Thanks!”
“Good luck.” He nodded politely, and turned back to the car, steering Dave along with him in a vice-like grip.
“What-”
“Shh.”
“But you-”
“Just get in the car. Trust me.”
Dave pulled out of his grip, and protested, “But she was carrying a weapon! A dangerous weapon! And… and a head! Severed head!”
Sanchez raised an eyebrow. “Really?”
“You just let her go!”
A sigh. “Look, if you want to go back to the station and tell them you saw a blonde girl running down the street carrying a sword, go right ahead. It’ll be entertaining.” He opened the car door, and got in.
Dave followed him, still upset. “Look, Sanchez, you can’t just ignore the law just to make things easier. That’s completely-”
“Shut up, Anders.” Sanchez picked up the radio. “Hey, this is Sanchez.”
“Go ahead, Sanchez,” came the response.
“We’re having a nice night out here. Excellent weather.”
“Ahh. Sunny, hot, practically summer?”
Sunny? Dave looked around, puzzled. No, it was definitely night-time…
“That’s right.” Sanchez paused for a moment, and then continued: “She was heading south - looks like she’d been coming from Sandon Park. You might want to have someone check it out tomorrow morning.”
“Sure. Anything else?”
“Seems to have some new equipment. Standard sword, I think.”
“Okay. Thanks, Sanchez.”
“Not a problem.” He put down the radio, and looked over, raising an eyebrow again. “Well?”
Dave glared at him. “What about the severed head?”
“Taken care of.”
“You just let that woman walk off with it!”
“Exactly.” Sanchez sighed, and motioned for him to start the car. “Give it a couple of years and you’re going to make a good cop, Anders, but you still have a fair bit to learn. Just stick with me - you’ll figure it out eventually.”