Just A Normal Week Of Fighting Crime
For still_grrr's Jumbled January free-for-all, I decided to go with an NCIS crossover...
Just A Normal Week Of Fighting Crime
“And then what happened?”
“Hello? Faith? Good-looking navy cop with a great smile? What do you think happened?”
“She hit on him?”
Dawn picked up another handful of Doritos, and corrected, “He hit on her. But good guess.”
Buffy frowned. “Wait. So… you’re in the middle of a stake-out - with kevlar and big guns and all - waiting to see if the mystical undead fangy monsters of doom are going to show up and start eating Marines… and he’s more concerned with getting Faith’s phone number?”
* * * * *
Tony looked up from the binoculars. “You like Chinese food? There’s a great place around the corner from here. We could…”
“More of a pizza chick, myself. But sure.” Faith grinned, and kept sharpening her stake.
* * * * *
“Yep.” Dawn shrugged. “They’re pretty good at handling weirdness. The whole vampires-are-real thing didn’t seem to phase them at all.”
“Seriously?”
“Really.” Dawn grinned. “Unless a huge overload of excitement and squealy joy counts. You should have seen Abby.”
“Who?”
“Sciencey goth girl, remember? I mentioned her before.” She put more Doritos in her mouth, and kept talking in a muffled sort of way. “It was like I’d given her the best birthday present ever. Think… um… Willow, whenever she figures out a new way to teleport stuff. On a sugar high.”
* * * * *
“So, is it just dust? Or is it different from normal dust?” Abby pulled open a drawer filled with all kinds of paperwork, and began rifling through it, still talking at top speed. “I so have to analyse some. Maybe treat it under different light spectrums and see if I can get some recursive data. Ooh! Is there, like, some mystically attuned forensic equipment out there? Cause there’s a whole bunch of old evidence I’d love to check for psychic uncerta- Oh, here it is!” She grabbed a plastic-wrapped set of photos, and handed them to Dawn. “You see, it’s a bit blurry, but if you squint you can just make out his wings. And none of them were ever seen again.” Abby grabbed her drink and took a rather large sip. “Most people think they were bat wings, but I’m pretty sure they were feathered. And if there was-”
Gibbs looked through the door. “Abs, have you finished tracking down the phone records yet? We’re on a clock, here.”
“Gibbs!” Abby ran over to him, grabbing a sheet of paper on her way, and handing it to him. “Here you go. Gibbs, you have to let me come on this stake-out. It’s going to be incredible.”
He smiled at her. “Sorry, Abs. Need you here in the lab. We still need her clothing analysed.”
“Oh, but Gibbs! Vampires, Gibbs! The Ancient Death. The still-blooded denizens of the night. The Lonely Ones. You just have to let me come, Gibbs! Please? I’ll work extra-hard on those skirt fibres when I get back…” She spun around to Dawn, frowning suddenly. “Hey, if they have no circulation, how does the accelerated healing work?”
* * * * *
“…and then she turned on her computer and started figuring out the physics of holy water, and she had another coffee, and-”
“Hey! Dawn!” Buffy was looking impatient. “You know, you’re completely crap at storytelling. Can we get back to the stake-out bit?”
“Oh, right.” Dawn hopped off the kitchen counter and got a coke can out of the fridge. “Well, we had to wait around for about six hours. Willow thought we should send someone into their base undercover, but head-guy vetoed it. Something about dividing resources, and the FBI. She even tried resolve face, but it turns out he has one too. So they stood there resolve-facing at each other, and we just sat around outside the nightclub waiting for everyone to show up. It was pretty boring, really.”
Buffy raised an eyebrow. “So boring that Vi broke an arm? From… boredom?”
* * * * *
Tony ran forward, stake in hand, and the vamp grinned and twisted Vi’s arm even further. There was an alarming cracking sound, and Vi yelled - and then wrenched herself out of his grasp, grabbed Tony’s stake, dusted the creep, shouted “Duck!” and kicked another vamp in the face as Tony hit the ground.
Then she picked up her axe and ran back into battle, whooping excitedly as the…
* * * * *
“Not exactly.”
“Wait a sec - why a nightclub? I thought the vamps had been killing Marines?”
Dawn nodded. “They were, yeah. But not while they were actually on duty. There’s this nightclub that they all end up going to, and bodies kept turning up nearby, so they thought the club was the main target, and can I get on with my story, please?”
“Sorry.” Buffy waved her hand. “Please, keep going with the tale of your extreme boredom.”
“Well, actually, it was only boring for the first six hours. After that it got pretty interesting.”
* * * * *
“There’s another two coming round the south side,” McGee’s voice crackled through the radio.
Dawn responded - “Thanks, McGee.” - and then grabbed her sword. “Faith! Two more coming.”
Faith dusted one of the three vamps she was busy fighting, and nodded. “Right behind you, midget.”
* * * * *
“No-one got seriously hurt though, right?”
“Nope.” Dawn shrugged, with a brief smile. “What can I say? We rock.”
“And none of the cops got injured?”
“They rock too.”
“Well… okay.” Buffy opened a soda, and said, “I still think it’s unfair I didn’t get to go.”
“You were in Russia! Meeting important Watchery people.”
“Russia was cold.” She shuddered, adding, “Next time one of Giles’ English friends needs a favour, it’d better be in Florida. And I’d better not be busy.”
“I think he was Scottish.”
“Whatever. Continue with the story.”
“Well, we had to keep a couple of them alive, of course.”
“Why?”
“Because of the hostages. - Have you been listening to a word I’m saying? I told you this. - They’d been keeping them alive so they could bribe the navy.”
* * * * *
“Daniel Fairlane, Megan Hirsch, John Miller.” Gibbs handed them each a piece of paper with details on all three officers. “All taken from the club between January 15 and February 3, and all believed to be alive.”
John Miller’s smiling photo looked up at Dawn out of the page. Oh please still be alive, she thought.
He looked nice. Pretty young to be such an experienced officer, and… actually kinda cute.
Wow.
She wondered what kind of music he liked, and whether he was okay with long distance relationships, and if he’d…
* * * * *
“Anyway, we hadn’t been able to figure out where they were locked up, so we had to ask the vamps.”
“And they told you? Just like that?”
* * * * *
Ziva opened the door. “You can come in. He seems to be ready to talk now.”
They looked inside. The vampire was huddled in the corner, staring at Faith and Ziva with a horrified look on his face.
He nodded frantically at Gibbs. “Yes. Definitely. Ready to talk. Absolutely. No problem. Happy to help. I’ll tell you anything you’re after, anything at all, as long as you don’t leave the room again.”
* * * * *
“Pretty much, yeah.” Dawn helped herself to another packet of Doritos, and concluded, “And after that it was just a matter of hacking into their security system, breaking into their holding cells, and freeing the prisoners. Oh, and fighting seven more vamps. So we did all that, and then we came home.”
Buffy frowned. “But… weren’t you there for another week?”
“Well yeah, but that was just because Willow wanted to help them track down a couple of escaped prisoners, and then she and McGee hacked into the FBI computers, and I was filling Abby in on some stuff, and Gibbs was trying to get Vi to go work for them. I think he has a thing for redheads. And Faith was going out with the cute cop guy, so she didn’t mind.” She shrugged. “That’s all, really.”
Buffy blinked. “Oh. Right.”
“So, how was Russia, anyway?”
Just A Normal Week Of Fighting Crime
“And then what happened?”
“Hello? Faith? Good-looking navy cop with a great smile? What do you think happened?”
“She hit on him?”
Dawn picked up another handful of Doritos, and corrected, “He hit on her. But good guess.”
Buffy frowned. “Wait. So… you’re in the middle of a stake-out - with kevlar and big guns and all - waiting to see if the mystical undead fangy monsters of doom are going to show up and start eating Marines… and he’s more concerned with getting Faith’s phone number?”
* * * * *
Tony looked up from the binoculars. “You like Chinese food? There’s a great place around the corner from here. We could…”
“More of a pizza chick, myself. But sure.” Faith grinned, and kept sharpening her stake.
* * * * *
“Yep.” Dawn shrugged. “They’re pretty good at handling weirdness. The whole vampires-are-real thing didn’t seem to phase them at all.”
“Seriously?”
“Really.” Dawn grinned. “Unless a huge overload of excitement and squealy joy counts. You should have seen Abby.”
“Who?”
“Sciencey goth girl, remember? I mentioned her before.” She put more Doritos in her mouth, and kept talking in a muffled sort of way. “It was like I’d given her the best birthday present ever. Think… um… Willow, whenever she figures out a new way to teleport stuff. On a sugar high.”
* * * * *
“So, is it just dust? Or is it different from normal dust?” Abby pulled open a drawer filled with all kinds of paperwork, and began rifling through it, still talking at top speed. “I so have to analyse some. Maybe treat it under different light spectrums and see if I can get some recursive data. Ooh! Is there, like, some mystically attuned forensic equipment out there? Cause there’s a whole bunch of old evidence I’d love to check for psychic uncerta- Oh, here it is!” She grabbed a plastic-wrapped set of photos, and handed them to Dawn. “You see, it’s a bit blurry, but if you squint you can just make out his wings. And none of them were ever seen again.” Abby grabbed her drink and took a rather large sip. “Most people think they were bat wings, but I’m pretty sure they were feathered. And if there was-”
Gibbs looked through the door. “Abs, have you finished tracking down the phone records yet? We’re on a clock, here.”
“Gibbs!” Abby ran over to him, grabbing a sheet of paper on her way, and handing it to him. “Here you go. Gibbs, you have to let me come on this stake-out. It’s going to be incredible.”
He smiled at her. “Sorry, Abs. Need you here in the lab. We still need her clothing analysed.”
“Oh, but Gibbs! Vampires, Gibbs! The Ancient Death. The still-blooded denizens of the night. The Lonely Ones. You just have to let me come, Gibbs! Please? I’ll work extra-hard on those skirt fibres when I get back…” She spun around to Dawn, frowning suddenly. “Hey, if they have no circulation, how does the accelerated healing work?”
* * * * *
“…and then she turned on her computer and started figuring out the physics of holy water, and she had another coffee, and-”
“Hey! Dawn!” Buffy was looking impatient. “You know, you’re completely crap at storytelling. Can we get back to the stake-out bit?”
“Oh, right.” Dawn hopped off the kitchen counter and got a coke can out of the fridge. “Well, we had to wait around for about six hours. Willow thought we should send someone into their base undercover, but head-guy vetoed it. Something about dividing resources, and the FBI. She even tried resolve face, but it turns out he has one too. So they stood there resolve-facing at each other, and we just sat around outside the nightclub waiting for everyone to show up. It was pretty boring, really.”
Buffy raised an eyebrow. “So boring that Vi broke an arm? From… boredom?”
* * * * *
Tony ran forward, stake in hand, and the vamp grinned and twisted Vi’s arm even further. There was an alarming cracking sound, and Vi yelled - and then wrenched herself out of his grasp, grabbed Tony’s stake, dusted the creep, shouted “Duck!” and kicked another vamp in the face as Tony hit the ground.
Then she picked up her axe and ran back into battle, whooping excitedly as the…
* * * * *
“Not exactly.”
“Wait a sec - why a nightclub? I thought the vamps had been killing Marines?”
Dawn nodded. “They were, yeah. But not while they were actually on duty. There’s this nightclub that they all end up going to, and bodies kept turning up nearby, so they thought the club was the main target, and can I get on with my story, please?”
“Sorry.” Buffy waved her hand. “Please, keep going with the tale of your extreme boredom.”
“Well, actually, it was only boring for the first six hours. After that it got pretty interesting.”
* * * * *
“There’s another two coming round the south side,” McGee’s voice crackled through the radio.
Dawn responded - “Thanks, McGee.” - and then grabbed her sword. “Faith! Two more coming.”
Faith dusted one of the three vamps she was busy fighting, and nodded. “Right behind you, midget.”
* * * * *
“No-one got seriously hurt though, right?”
“Nope.” Dawn shrugged, with a brief smile. “What can I say? We rock.”
“And none of the cops got injured?”
“They rock too.”
“Well… okay.” Buffy opened a soda, and said, “I still think it’s unfair I didn’t get to go.”
“You were in Russia! Meeting important Watchery people.”
“Russia was cold.” She shuddered, adding, “Next time one of Giles’ English friends needs a favour, it’d better be in Florida. And I’d better not be busy.”
“I think he was Scottish.”
“Whatever. Continue with the story.”
“Well, we had to keep a couple of them alive, of course.”
“Why?”
“Because of the hostages. - Have you been listening to a word I’m saying? I told you this. - They’d been keeping them alive so they could bribe the navy.”
* * * * *
“Daniel Fairlane, Megan Hirsch, John Miller.” Gibbs handed them each a piece of paper with details on all three officers. “All taken from the club between January 15 and February 3, and all believed to be alive.”
John Miller’s smiling photo looked up at Dawn out of the page. Oh please still be alive, she thought.
He looked nice. Pretty young to be such an experienced officer, and… actually kinda cute.
Wow.
She wondered what kind of music he liked, and whether he was okay with long distance relationships, and if he’d…
* * * * *
“Anyway, we hadn’t been able to figure out where they were locked up, so we had to ask the vamps.”
“And they told you? Just like that?”
* * * * *
Ziva opened the door. “You can come in. He seems to be ready to talk now.”
They looked inside. The vampire was huddled in the corner, staring at Faith and Ziva with a horrified look on his face.
He nodded frantically at Gibbs. “Yes. Definitely. Ready to talk. Absolutely. No problem. Happy to help. I’ll tell you anything you’re after, anything at all, as long as you don’t leave the room again.”
* * * * *
“Pretty much, yeah.” Dawn helped herself to another packet of Doritos, and concluded, “And after that it was just a matter of hacking into their security system, breaking into their holding cells, and freeing the prisoners. Oh, and fighting seven more vamps. So we did all that, and then we came home.”
Buffy frowned. “But… weren’t you there for another week?”
“Well yeah, but that was just because Willow wanted to help them track down a couple of escaped prisoners, and then she and McGee hacked into the FBI computers, and I was filling Abby in on some stuff, and Gibbs was trying to get Vi to go work for them. I think he has a thing for redheads. And Faith was going out with the cute cop guy, so she didn’t mind.” She shrugged. “That’s all, really.”
Buffy blinked. “Oh. Right.”
“So, how was Russia, anyway?”