Commentary - Final Instructions
So, I asked for fic commentary and drabble requests. (Still happy for more if anyone else wants one.)
This one was written for dreamincolor, who requested a commentary for Final Instructions. You should probably read that before looking at this commentary.
The original fic still looks like it did, and my notes are the bits in blockquotes.
Final Instructions
This was written for a “dead letter” challenge: writing a letter from a dead character. Most letters seemed to be deep, meaningful, and filled with final declarations of love. Which… I wouldn’t be able to write at all.
But it occurred to me that, as soppy as Giles gets when he’s apparently dying, if he was already dead he wouldn’t be nearly so concerned about needing to tell people he loved them (after all, they’d know that by now), and much more concerned about all the things that wouldn’t be getting done properly without his supervision…
Dear Katherine,
Hopefully you decided to open this letter before reading the morning newspaper. I congratulate you on your excellent prioritising. Now please put down the letter, and open the newspaper instead.
(“Excellent prioritising” is the sort of thing you only get to write when Giles is saying it.)
The relevant article is on page 39. Underneath the speculations about Mimi Thorne’s pregnancy, you should see the title “Three Unidentified Bodies Found In Alley”.
This would be the results of the scout party I took out last night.
This is clearly a post-series fic, which is why Giles has the resources to send out scout parties. An awful lot of this fic is focused on describing the world as it now is.
It’s sort of set approximately 3 to 6 years after the collapse of Sunnydale. Which would put Dawn in college.
As it turns out, we didn’t manage to find the two Trolhke Narish demons that have been roaming the streets. Instead, we found fifteen of them. And as they have an unusual defense mechanism we hadn’t anticipated, all three of us were killed before we could call for backup.
Unfortunately, as my secretary you’ll have the task of informing the relevant people, organising the funerals, dealing with the condolence cards, and rearranging everyone’s schedules. You have my sympathies.
The joke here being that Katherine is getting sympathy from Giles… when he’s the one who’s just died…
Well, I thought it was funny…
I expect you’ll get a lot of help with the funeral, at least. Most of it given in the form of very firm opinions about what absolutely must be done to make it the way I’d want it - and every opinion completely contradicting everyone else’s.
“Very firm opinions” seem to be a Scooby speciality.
Don’t let them overrule you completely, and if you must follow someone’s wishes, go with Buffy’s.
Buffy reference number one. She gets mentioned more than anyone else.
I personally have only one request: Please make sure that the service includes at least one song by The Rolling Stones.
(That sentence is mostly there so that people who weren’t sure who the letter was from would get a very non-subtle clue.)
And now, as always, I have a list of things that need to be dealt with:
Useful Information
There is currently a book on my coffee table. You should find it still open to the page on Trolhke Narish demons, with an incomplete translation written on the notepad beside it. The words I was unable to translate should read “poisonous darts from their teeth”. Please fill that in correctly.
This being the “unusual defense mechanism” Giles mentioned further up the page.
One thing that the book does not mention is that the Trolhke Narish seem very sensitive to movement directly behind them, and any attempts to surprise them from the rear will probably end with your entire scout party being killed before you can call for backup. When the group of vengeful Slayers set out on a retaliatory mission this evening, please advise them to attack from the sides - that might be more successful.
I love how Giles knows perfectly well that all the Slayers will set out on a grief-filled vengeance mission, and just sits there being slightly amused and giving them battle advice.
Deliveries
I was expecting three packages to be delivered this afternoon. One will be the Prussian throwing daggers Lauren has been requesting. Give them to her, and remind her that they shouldn’t be used indoors.
Just a random Slayer.
She’s mostly mentioned for world-building purposes: Giles is having lots of interactions with a whole bunch of Slayers.
The second will be the present we discussed. Please hide it in the usual place, preferably before she arrives for the funeral.
(I love the idea of Giles and his secretary having a standard birthday-present-hiding place.)
The third should be a case of assorted spirits and liqueurs from Winers and Diners Monthly. Present it to Faith with my compliments, and let her know that if she wants them to keep being delivered after April, she’ll have to renew the subscription.
Who else would you give it to?
Buffy Summers
You’ve done a remarkable job of not noticing this, but no doubt you’re aware that Buffy and I have had some rather lively discussions over the past month.
Please find some way to let her know that, despite some initial misgivings, I really was happy about her current relationship.
I still maintain my earlier opinions about its somewhat unconventional nature - but then, she’s fairly unconventional herself. And I have loved seeing her happy again.
Please note: I do not say who the relationship is with. “Unconventional” pretty much rules out… um… Xander? Fill in the blanks with your own selection.
WHATEVER YOU DO, DON’T TELL HER ABOUT THIS LETTER. She’d be annoyed that I hadn’t written to her directly, upset that I’d written at all, and she’d probably try to have Willow set up some kind of regular correspondence system.
She really would.
A few people were upset that Buffy didn’t get a direct message from Giles, when Dawn and Willow did. I considered it at the time, but as I saw it, Giles would be much more concerned about Dawn and Willow’s ability to cope with his death. Whereas he trusts Buffy to handle it very well. (Trusting Buffy to handle mystical letters, on the other hand…)
Training Programmes
There are five new Slayers transferring from Canada next month. Tell Faith I’m sure she’ll train them to the best possible standard, and I have every confidence in her.
Megan Bishop has been expressing an interest in projectile weaponry. Please tell Kennedy that I asked her to achieve at least 3rd-level proficiency in sword fighting before beginning this new area of study.
Let Faith know that Shonarra Fallos is perpetually late to training and to patrols, but she’ll do anything if you bribe her with strawberry milkshakes.
More world-building. It’s funny - most people seem to picture Buffy as the main Slayer-trainer, post-series. Whereas I actually think Faith would be better at it. Plus, being around the Slayers would be good for Faith, too.
I’m also a bit of a Kennedy fan. And she seems to have had a Watcher for several years pre-Sunnydale, so she’d be a logical choice for training others.
Dawn Summers
When you have finished with this letter, Katherine, please put it inside my desk, second drawer down, about two-thirds of the way through the pile.
Close the drawer, but don’t use the key - I don’t want the lock damaged when she breaks into it.
This is my favourite bit.
Buffy would probably accept whatever you told her, as long as you didn’t directly mention the letter. Dawn… really wouldn’t. Breaking into Giles’ office seemed like something she’d do without a second thought.
Also, notice that Giles kind of enjoys it. He could just have Katherine give Dawn the letter in person - he’d rather give her a challenge.
My Dearest Dawn,
Thank you for not upsetting the very carefully ordered stacks of paper on my desk while you were trying to find this letter. If you did upset them, please return them to their correct positions before you leave my office.
You’ll be glad to know that I bought your birthday present early, and it is currently hidden in n’lortye gapisth Cne’Trot mes’f Nyanull loksorre.
Weird Buffyverse languages tend to involve more than their fair share of capitals and apostrophes…
If you can’t translate that, you haven’t been studying nearly hard enough this semester. Check your Fuller’s Compendium, and try again.
Another challenge. Giles is, first and foremost, a Watcher.
Take care of Buffy for me.
I think one of the reasons Giles would have put Dawn’s letter mid-letter-to-Katherine, rather than by itself, would be so that Dawn could read what he’d written about everyone else. He’d want to get her in on his plans, and get her help with them, too.
And remember - I like the world with you in it much better than the other versions.
The one thing Dawn really needs to know…
With love from Giles.
Phonecall From Seattle
I was expecting a phonecall from a Mrs Sackefry some time this week. Please send her in Vi’s direction - she knows the particulars.
Just because I had to get Vi in there somewhere…
Books
I’d like to leave the contents of my library jointly to Xander and Andrew. They can divide it however they choose.
I wanted to mention Andrew at some point. But it felt like I was putting him and Xander on an equal footing, as far as their relationship with Giles went.
This next paragraph was there to make sure Xander got something that Andrew didn’t.
There is one set of books, though, that goes solely to Xander. You will find them on the top shelf of the bookcase next to the couch. There are nine in total, and they are labelled “Watchers Diaries - the Sunnydale Years”. Tell him I thought he’d find them amusing, and that he is on no account to speak any Latin in their presence, because they’re the original editions.
The comment about “speaking Latin” is, of course, a reference to Superstar, when Xander accidentally set a book on fire.
Appliances
My electric kettle is set to automatically turn on at 10 o’clock every morning. You should probably unplug it before it boils dry.
I tried to get a few mundane things in here as well. Otherwise the entire letter becomes all deep and meaningful - which is exactly what I was trying to avoid.
A Message
As far as informing people of my death goes, you can carry that out any way you feel like. But there is one call I would like you to make yourself - before she hears about it by any other means.
Please ring Willow Rosenberg as soon as possible. You may have to talk fast.
Yes, he really is worried.
Pretty much, no matter which Scooby it was, the first job of everyone else after their death would be to talk Willow down.
Tell her that what happens in Paraguay should stay in Paraguay, and that I don’t want her taking on Osiris more than twice - at least not on my account - but that I appreciate the offer.
“Paraguay” being where the flower Willow grows is from, in Lessons. I’m… not entirely certain what that sentence means, actually, but it seemed to fit.
The Osiris bit should be obvious.
Then please read this sentence to her over the phone:
“Remember, we all are who we are - and it seems that not even death can change that.”
Another Lessons reference. The original quote was said by Giles to Willow, and went like this:
“In the end we all are who we are, no matter how much we may appear to have changed.”
Finally
Any other secretary would probably be gasping at the extent of this list by now, but with your expert touch I’m sure you’ll handle it superbly.
Nevertheless, you will be glad to hear that we’ve reached the end, and I have nothing more to ask.
Thank you for your excellent work, for handling the ridiculous mass of tasks with which I’m always presenting you with such poise, and for making sure that I took time to eat a decent lunch even when I was caught up in an exciting volume.
It has been an honour to work with you.
It occurred to me when I was first posting this that Giles might have been in love with Katherine. I have no idea whether he is - I certainly didn’t write it like that intentionally. But it just seemed very Giles-like that he might be madly in love with a woman… and thank her for being a good secretary.
In appreciation,
Rupert Giles
This one was written for dreamincolor, who requested a commentary for Final Instructions. You should probably read that before looking at this commentary.
The original fic still looks like it did, and my notes are the bits in blockquotes.
Final Instructions
This was written for a “dead letter” challenge: writing a letter from a dead character. Most letters seemed to be deep, meaningful, and filled with final declarations of love. Which… I wouldn’t be able to write at all.
But it occurred to me that, as soppy as Giles gets when he’s apparently dying, if he was already dead he wouldn’t be nearly so concerned about needing to tell people he loved them (after all, they’d know that by now), and much more concerned about all the things that wouldn’t be getting done properly without his supervision…
Dear Katherine,
Hopefully you decided to open this letter before reading the morning newspaper. I congratulate you on your excellent prioritising. Now please put down the letter, and open the newspaper instead.
(“Excellent prioritising” is the sort of thing you only get to write when Giles is saying it.)
The relevant article is on page 39. Underneath the speculations about Mimi Thorne’s pregnancy, you should see the title “Three Unidentified Bodies Found In Alley”.
This would be the results of the scout party I took out last night.
This is clearly a post-series fic, which is why Giles has the resources to send out scout parties. An awful lot of this fic is focused on describing the world as it now is.
It’s sort of set approximately 3 to 6 years after the collapse of Sunnydale. Which would put Dawn in college.
As it turns out, we didn’t manage to find the two Trolhke Narish demons that have been roaming the streets. Instead, we found fifteen of them. And as they have an unusual defense mechanism we hadn’t anticipated, all three of us were killed before we could call for backup.
Unfortunately, as my secretary you’ll have the task of informing the relevant people, organising the funerals, dealing with the condolence cards, and rearranging everyone’s schedules. You have my sympathies.
The joke here being that Katherine is getting sympathy from Giles… when he’s the one who’s just died…
Well, I thought it was funny…
I expect you’ll get a lot of help with the funeral, at least. Most of it given in the form of very firm opinions about what absolutely must be done to make it the way I’d want it - and every opinion completely contradicting everyone else’s.
“Very firm opinions” seem to be a Scooby speciality.
Don’t let them overrule you completely, and if you must follow someone’s wishes, go with Buffy’s.
Buffy reference number one. She gets mentioned more than anyone else.
I personally have only one request: Please make sure that the service includes at least one song by The Rolling Stones.
(That sentence is mostly there so that people who weren’t sure who the letter was from would get a very non-subtle clue.)
And now, as always, I have a list of things that need to be dealt with:
Useful Information
There is currently a book on my coffee table. You should find it still open to the page on Trolhke Narish demons, with an incomplete translation written on the notepad beside it. The words I was unable to translate should read “poisonous darts from their teeth”. Please fill that in correctly.
This being the “unusual defense mechanism” Giles mentioned further up the page.
One thing that the book does not mention is that the Trolhke Narish seem very sensitive to movement directly behind them, and any attempts to surprise them from the rear will probably end with your entire scout party being killed before you can call for backup. When the group of vengeful Slayers set out on a retaliatory mission this evening, please advise them to attack from the sides - that might be more successful.
I love how Giles knows perfectly well that all the Slayers will set out on a grief-filled vengeance mission, and just sits there being slightly amused and giving them battle advice.
Deliveries
I was expecting three packages to be delivered this afternoon. One will be the Prussian throwing daggers Lauren has been requesting. Give them to her, and remind her that they shouldn’t be used indoors.
Just a random Slayer.
She’s mostly mentioned for world-building purposes: Giles is having lots of interactions with a whole bunch of Slayers.
The second will be the present we discussed. Please hide it in the usual place, preferably before she arrives for the funeral.
(I love the idea of Giles and his secretary having a standard birthday-present-hiding place.)
The third should be a case of assorted spirits and liqueurs from Winers and Diners Monthly. Present it to Faith with my compliments, and let her know that if she wants them to keep being delivered after April, she’ll have to renew the subscription.
Who else would you give it to?
Buffy Summers
You’ve done a remarkable job of not noticing this, but no doubt you’re aware that Buffy and I have had some rather lively discussions over the past month.
Please find some way to let her know that, despite some initial misgivings, I really was happy about her current relationship.
I still maintain my earlier opinions about its somewhat unconventional nature - but then, she’s fairly unconventional herself. And I have loved seeing her happy again.
Please note: I do not say who the relationship is with. “Unconventional” pretty much rules out… um… Xander? Fill in the blanks with your own selection.
WHATEVER YOU DO, DON’T TELL HER ABOUT THIS LETTER. She’d be annoyed that I hadn’t written to her directly, upset that I’d written at all, and she’d probably try to have Willow set up some kind of regular correspondence system.
She really would.
A few people were upset that Buffy didn’t get a direct message from Giles, when Dawn and Willow did. I considered it at the time, but as I saw it, Giles would be much more concerned about Dawn and Willow’s ability to cope with his death. Whereas he trusts Buffy to handle it very well. (Trusting Buffy to handle mystical letters, on the other hand…)
Training Programmes
There are five new Slayers transferring from Canada next month. Tell Faith I’m sure she’ll train them to the best possible standard, and I have every confidence in her.
Megan Bishop has been expressing an interest in projectile weaponry. Please tell Kennedy that I asked her to achieve at least 3rd-level proficiency in sword fighting before beginning this new area of study.
Let Faith know that Shonarra Fallos is perpetually late to training and to patrols, but she’ll do anything if you bribe her with strawberry milkshakes.
More world-building. It’s funny - most people seem to picture Buffy as the main Slayer-trainer, post-series. Whereas I actually think Faith would be better at it. Plus, being around the Slayers would be good for Faith, too.
I’m also a bit of a Kennedy fan. And she seems to have had a Watcher for several years pre-Sunnydale, so she’d be a logical choice for training others.
Dawn Summers
When you have finished with this letter, Katherine, please put it inside my desk, second drawer down, about two-thirds of the way through the pile.
Close the drawer, but don’t use the key - I don’t want the lock damaged when she breaks into it.
This is my favourite bit.
Buffy would probably accept whatever you told her, as long as you didn’t directly mention the letter. Dawn… really wouldn’t. Breaking into Giles’ office seemed like something she’d do without a second thought.
Also, notice that Giles kind of enjoys it. He could just have Katherine give Dawn the letter in person - he’d rather give her a challenge.
My Dearest Dawn,
Thank you for not upsetting the very carefully ordered stacks of paper on my desk while you were trying to find this letter. If you did upset them, please return them to their correct positions before you leave my office.
You’ll be glad to know that I bought your birthday present early, and it is currently hidden in n’lortye gapisth Cne’Trot mes’f Nyanull loksorre.
Weird Buffyverse languages tend to involve more than their fair share of capitals and apostrophes…
If you can’t translate that, you haven’t been studying nearly hard enough this semester. Check your Fuller’s Compendium, and try again.
Another challenge. Giles is, first and foremost, a Watcher.
Take care of Buffy for me.
I think one of the reasons Giles would have put Dawn’s letter mid-letter-to-Katherine, rather than by itself, would be so that Dawn could read what he’d written about everyone else. He’d want to get her in on his plans, and get her help with them, too.
And remember - I like the world with you in it much better than the other versions.
The one thing Dawn really needs to know…
With love from Giles.
Phonecall From Seattle
I was expecting a phonecall from a Mrs Sackefry some time this week. Please send her in Vi’s direction - she knows the particulars.
Just because I had to get Vi in there somewhere…
Books
I’d like to leave the contents of my library jointly to Xander and Andrew. They can divide it however they choose.
I wanted to mention Andrew at some point. But it felt like I was putting him and Xander on an equal footing, as far as their relationship with Giles went.
This next paragraph was there to make sure Xander got something that Andrew didn’t.
There is one set of books, though, that goes solely to Xander. You will find them on the top shelf of the bookcase next to the couch. There are nine in total, and they are labelled “Watchers Diaries - the Sunnydale Years”. Tell him I thought he’d find them amusing, and that he is on no account to speak any Latin in their presence, because they’re the original editions.
The comment about “speaking Latin” is, of course, a reference to Superstar, when Xander accidentally set a book on fire.
Appliances
My electric kettle is set to automatically turn on at 10 o’clock every morning. You should probably unplug it before it boils dry.
I tried to get a few mundane things in here as well. Otherwise the entire letter becomes all deep and meaningful - which is exactly what I was trying to avoid.
A Message
As far as informing people of my death goes, you can carry that out any way you feel like. But there is one call I would like you to make yourself - before she hears about it by any other means.
Please ring Willow Rosenberg as soon as possible. You may have to talk fast.
Yes, he really is worried.
Pretty much, no matter which Scooby it was, the first job of everyone else after their death would be to talk Willow down.
Tell her that what happens in Paraguay should stay in Paraguay, and that I don’t want her taking on Osiris more than twice - at least not on my account - but that I appreciate the offer.
“Paraguay” being where the flower Willow grows is from, in Lessons. I’m… not entirely certain what that sentence means, actually, but it seemed to fit.
The Osiris bit should be obvious.
Then please read this sentence to her over the phone:
“Remember, we all are who we are - and it seems that not even death can change that.”
Another Lessons reference. The original quote was said by Giles to Willow, and went like this:
“In the end we all are who we are, no matter how much we may appear to have changed.”
Finally
Any other secretary would probably be gasping at the extent of this list by now, but with your expert touch I’m sure you’ll handle it superbly.
Nevertheless, you will be glad to hear that we’ve reached the end, and I have nothing more to ask.
Thank you for your excellent work, for handling the ridiculous mass of tasks with which I’m always presenting you with such poise, and for making sure that I took time to eat a decent lunch even when I was caught up in an exciting volume.
It has been an honour to work with you.
It occurred to me when I was first posting this that Giles might have been in love with Katherine. I have no idea whether he is - I certainly didn’t write it like that intentionally. But it just seemed very Giles-like that he might be madly in love with a woman… and thank her for being a good secretary.
In appreciation,
Rupert Giles