Green (PG)
Posted to house_wilson and housefic
Title: Green
Author: Dee Laundry
Pairing: House-Wilson friendship, with special guest appearance by Evil Nurse Brenda
Rating: PG for language only
Words: 7406
Summary: Wilson makes a new friend. House is tickled pink. Or not.
Disclaimer: House, Wilson, Brenda, and the rest of the House MD characters are not mine, more’s the pity.
Notes: Complete fic - posting in two parts for length. Many, many thanks to Media and especially daisylily for the excellent betas.
It was an unusually warm Tuesday in late March, so they chose to have lunch outside. James Wilson was a third of the way through his chicken salad sandwich and halfway through a re-telling of a silly Outer Limits episode (killer bugs in the Arctic) when a long shadow fell across the table.
“Isn’t this a cozy scene?”
Wilson looked up and almost jumped at how close the newcomer was standing. “House.” A small piece of chicken fell from Wilson‘s sandwich, and he juggled awkwardly, trying to catch it. The blond man sitting across from him laughed lightly. “How’s it going?”
“We had lunch plans. I was going to tell you how I managed to finish Force Canyon in Gunstar Super Heroes.”
“Oh, damn, I’m sorry. I had two new patients and one whose remission stopped remitting”-the blond laughed again; House was stone-faced-”and I got caught up in everything. When Charlie here stopped by to ask about lunch, it was the first moment I’d had to breathe since this morning, and I just, um, forgot.” House was still stone-faced, but Wilson pushed on. “By the way, have you met Charlie Lutz? He’s the new orthopedist here, started a couple of months ago.”
Charlie gave House a quick wave. “Hey. So, you’re Dr. House? Your reputation, of course, precedes you, but I don’t think we’ve met in person.” He pushed back his chair slightly and gestured toward a third seat at the table. “Look, I’m sorry I took Jimmy away from you, but why don’t you join us?”
“Right. Like I’m sharing my Game Boy secrets with you.”
“House!” Wilson felt a flush rise up his neck. “Even just a light sprinkling of manners, please.”
“I’m not the one who stood up a friend.” House glared at Wilson, then turned on his heel and left.
Charlie waited until House was out of earshot, and then laughed again. “Some parts of that reputation are definitely true.” He shook his head, still grinning. “Man, are you ever in the doghouse.”
“It’s fine. It’ll blow over.” Wilson sighed gently and resumed eating his sandwich.
After lunch, he spent fifteen minutes looking for House, finally finding him sitting in Coma Guy’s room.
“Hey.”
“Do you mind? You’re interrupting my lunch date. He’s not much of a conversationalist, but at least he’s there when he’s wanted.” House took a vicious bite from his Reuben.
“I said I was sorry. Don’t be a baby, and give me a chip.” He leaned over, but House snatched the bag away.
“Nothing doing. Go get one from Lutz.”
“What is up with you? Are you mad because I stood you up, or are you mad because I was having lunch with someone else?” House set his jaw and stared deliberately at the TV.
“You are mad because I was with someone else. You know, unlike you, I do like people. Getting to know them is interesting. Conversation with them pleases me.”
“I looked up Dr. Lutz. He’s an idiot.”
“He’s not an idiot, which you’d know if you’d talk to him. And anyway, even idiots can be fun.”
That got House to look at him. “Are you saying I’m not fun?”
“I’m saying you’re an idiot. Give me a damn chip.” After House reluctantly passed him one, Wilson took the second seat by Coma Guy’s bed.
They watched TV together for a minute, before House piped up, “So what’s Lutz’s name again?”
“Charlie.”
“His med school’s a no-name, but his last hospital wasn’t half bad. When did you meet him?”
“I don’t know, a month ago maybe.”
“Do you work with him a lot?”
“Here and there. He’s been seeing a lot of large tumors lately, for some reason, and we end up getting called in on most of them.”
“Was today your first lunch?”
Wilson put on his best sarcastically confused look and turned to House. “Why do I feel like I’m getting grilled by my wife? Oh, that’s right, because I am.”
House mouth twitched but he made no reply. Wilson continued, “Well, because you have to know everything, here it is: we met about a month ago when he referred a patient with bone cancer. Nasty case, caught very late, secondary to lung cancer. That patient’s already dead. We’ve had coffee once and lunch twice. We talk about patient care, office politics, sports, and TV shows. His turn-ons include -”
“That’s enough. I don’t need a life history.”
“You apparently do.” Wilson sighed and settled himself further down in his chair. “Charlie’s a good guy. Give him a chance, and you’ll find out for yourself.”
“Yeah.” House grabbed his cane and rose. “Gotta go. I got a page.”
Perplexed, Wilson replied, “No, you didn’t. I was sitting right here.”
“It was a super secret page. Like the Bat signal, only significantly less visible.”
“Ooookay. See you.” Wilson rolled his eyes as House walked out the door.
“Watch out, Coma Guy,” Wilson said under his breath, as he cleaned up the lunch mess House had left behind. “Hope you don’t catch the madness too.”
***
In the diagnostics conference room, House’s expression was foul. He barely listened to the patient’s symptoms, sent Foreman to run a series of tests, then stomped into his own office. Chase tilted his chair back, propped his feet on the conference table, and sent the tennis ball hurtling toward the ceiling. Cameron sighed and asked, “What is up with House? He’s been in the worst mood since lunch.”
In catching the ball, Chase happened to glance into the corridor. “Uh, oh.” He brought his chair back to the floor and gestured toward the hall with his chin. “Looks like maybe Mummy’s stepping out on Daddy.”
Wilson and Charlie were passing by, and from his wide gestures, it looked like Charlie was in the middle of an amusing anecdote. He stopped directly in front of the conference room and made a rowdy “whoo whoo” train motion, which cracked Wilson up entirely.
Turning back toward the whiteboard, Cameron jumped to see House standing there. “I think the patient -” she began, but House stalked back to his office and flung the door shut. Without the pneumatic door closer, the slam would have reverberated all the way to the elevators.
***
Early on Wednesday, Wilson ran into Charlie in line for coffee in the cafeteria. After exchanging hellos, Charlie smiled and said, “Hey, the funniest thing happened to me this morning. I got to my parking space here at the hospital and overnight, it had been turned into a handicapped spot. It’s really strange, too, because the spot’s way on the other side from the elevators. I can’t imagine a handicapped person actually wanting to park there.” He shrugged with one shoulder. “But whatever, for the good of society, it’s fine. It was a pain trying to find an unreserved space, though.”
Wilson brought his hand to the back of his own neck and twisted it briefly. “Yeah, the weirdest things happen in that garage from time to time.” He faced Charlie directly and gave a quick reassuring smile. “It was probably a mistake. I’ll talk to Cuddy, and see if I can get it switched back.”
Charlie paid for both their coffees and passed one to Wilson. “Don’t put yourself out. I didn’t mean to complain. It was funny, that’s all.”
“Yep, very funny.” He tilted the coffee cup in farewell and headed to Cuddy’s office.
Cuddy was intent on paperwork, but her assistant waved Wilson in anyway. Just jump in and swim, he thought, and launched into the story. “House, as kind of a prank, seems to have put up signs designating someone’s assigned parking spot as a handicapped space. Can you get Maintenance to fix it?”
“Oy.” She dropped her pen on her desk. “Like his parking space isn’t already great.” Frowning, she reached for the phone. “I’ll call him in here.”
“No!” He stopped and gave her his most winning smile. “It’s just a little prank. I’ll make sure he doesn’t do it again.”
“If I had a nickel for every time you’ve had to say that to me over the years…” She exhaled forcefully and shook her head. “But you do usually get him to stop, so I’ll trust you.” She hit the intercom button. “Please get me Maintenance.”
“Thanks.” Wilson let himself out.
***
He stopped by House’s office a few minutes before noon. “Want to get lunch?”
“Sure.” House started to rise. “You’re not going to forget in the ten seconds it takes me to walk to the door, are you?”
“Nope.”
“Good.” House brushed past Wilson on his way out of the office.
Wilson fell into step behind him. “Parking space. Cute. Don’t do it again.”
“I’m sure I don’t know what you’re talking about,” was what House said, but his eyes indicated something else entirely.
***
Thursday morning, Charlie caught Wilson in the hall as he was walking with House. “Hey, my space is back. Thanks for that.”
“Yeah, it was just a mix-up.” He cast a sidelong glance at House, whose nonchalance could not be more fake even if accompanied by an off-key whistle.
“Can you grab lunch with me today? I want to get your opinion on some test results.”
“Sure.”
“Great,” Charlie said. “And nice to see you again - House?” Wilson turned, and House was gone.
Charlie laughed in amazement. “How can a guy with a cane move so quietly?”
“Hmm,” Wilson replied.
***
The orthopedics department became a very interesting place to be over the next week. Charlie recounted it all to Wilson during a late afternoon break.
“So, early in the week, Steve comes in the lounge to take a break, and he can’t get the channel changer to work. He takes out the batteries, puts them back, not it. He switches the batteries with some in a different device, doesn’t work. Turns out someone locked out the channels. The only one we could get was this one that shows Spanish soap operas all day.”
“Really.” Wilson bit back a sigh. “That’s funny.”
“Then, I think it was yesterday, the magazine shows up. It’s addressed to the head of our department, but her secretary won’t touch it. Could hardly get the mail guy to put it down, though.”
“What was it?” (He’d almost said, “Which?”)
“FHM. You know, one of those ‘it’s not porn ’cause we’re wearing underwear’ ones. It was pretty gross; I don’t blame Jane for not touching it. Lara was livid that the subscription was in her name. Title too, on the label.” Charlie pushed off the bench, still shaking his head. “Interesting times. See ya.”
House was packing up to go when Wilson stopped by the office.
“Interesting things are happening over in the orthopedics department.”
“Is that so?” House spotted his iPod and shoved it in his bag. “Bones seem kind of boring to me. Your really cool stuff tends to happen in the organs and soft tissues.” He threw the bag over his shoulder and grabbed his cane. “Going to New York for the weekend; you’ll have to fend for yourself. See you Monday.” With a nod and a wave, House was gone.
( continued)
Title: Green
Author: Dee Laundry
Pairing: House-Wilson friendship, with special guest appearance by Evil Nurse Brenda
Rating: PG for language only
Words: 7406
Summary: Wilson makes a new friend. House is tickled pink. Or not.
Disclaimer: House, Wilson, Brenda, and the rest of the House MD characters are not mine, more’s the pity.
Notes: Complete fic - posting in two parts for length. Many, many thanks to Media and especially daisylily for the excellent betas.
It was an unusually warm Tuesday in late March, so they chose to have lunch outside. James Wilson was a third of the way through his chicken salad sandwich and halfway through a re-telling of a silly Outer Limits episode (killer bugs in the Arctic) when a long shadow fell across the table.
“Isn’t this a cozy scene?”
Wilson looked up and almost jumped at how close the newcomer was standing. “House.” A small piece of chicken fell from Wilson‘s sandwich, and he juggled awkwardly, trying to catch it. The blond man sitting across from him laughed lightly. “How’s it going?”
“We had lunch plans. I was going to tell you how I managed to finish Force Canyon in Gunstar Super Heroes.”
“Oh, damn, I’m sorry. I had two new patients and one whose remission stopped remitting”-the blond laughed again; House was stone-faced-”and I got caught up in everything. When Charlie here stopped by to ask about lunch, it was the first moment I’d had to breathe since this morning, and I just, um, forgot.” House was still stone-faced, but Wilson pushed on. “By the way, have you met Charlie Lutz? He’s the new orthopedist here, started a couple of months ago.”
Charlie gave House a quick wave. “Hey. So, you’re Dr. House? Your reputation, of course, precedes you, but I don’t think we’ve met in person.” He pushed back his chair slightly and gestured toward a third seat at the table. “Look, I’m sorry I took Jimmy away from you, but why don’t you join us?”
“Right. Like I’m sharing my Game Boy secrets with you.”
“House!” Wilson felt a flush rise up his neck. “Even just a light sprinkling of manners, please.”
“I’m not the one who stood up a friend.” House glared at Wilson, then turned on his heel and left.
Charlie waited until House was out of earshot, and then laughed again. “Some parts of that reputation are definitely true.” He shook his head, still grinning. “Man, are you ever in the doghouse.”
“It’s fine. It’ll blow over.” Wilson sighed gently and resumed eating his sandwich.
After lunch, he spent fifteen minutes looking for House, finally finding him sitting in Coma Guy’s room.
“Hey.”
“Do you mind? You’re interrupting my lunch date. He’s not much of a conversationalist, but at least he’s there when he’s wanted.” House took a vicious bite from his Reuben.
“I said I was sorry. Don’t be a baby, and give me a chip.” He leaned over, but House snatched the bag away.
“Nothing doing. Go get one from Lutz.”
“What is up with you? Are you mad because I stood you up, or are you mad because I was having lunch with someone else?” House set his jaw and stared deliberately at the TV.
“You are mad because I was with someone else. You know, unlike you, I do like people. Getting to know them is interesting. Conversation with them pleases me.”
“I looked up Dr. Lutz. He’s an idiot.”
“He’s not an idiot, which you’d know if you’d talk to him. And anyway, even idiots can be fun.”
That got House to look at him. “Are you saying I’m not fun?”
“I’m saying you’re an idiot. Give me a damn chip.” After House reluctantly passed him one, Wilson took the second seat by Coma Guy’s bed.
They watched TV together for a minute, before House piped up, “So what’s Lutz’s name again?”
“Charlie.”
“His med school’s a no-name, but his last hospital wasn’t half bad. When did you meet him?”
“I don’t know, a month ago maybe.”
“Do you work with him a lot?”
“Here and there. He’s been seeing a lot of large tumors lately, for some reason, and we end up getting called in on most of them.”
“Was today your first lunch?”
Wilson put on his best sarcastically confused look and turned to House. “Why do I feel like I’m getting grilled by my wife? Oh, that’s right, because I am.”
House mouth twitched but he made no reply. Wilson continued, “Well, because you have to know everything, here it is: we met about a month ago when he referred a patient with bone cancer. Nasty case, caught very late, secondary to lung cancer. That patient’s already dead. We’ve had coffee once and lunch twice. We talk about patient care, office politics, sports, and TV shows. His turn-ons include -”
“That’s enough. I don’t need a life history.”
“You apparently do.” Wilson sighed and settled himself further down in his chair. “Charlie’s a good guy. Give him a chance, and you’ll find out for yourself.”
“Yeah.” House grabbed his cane and rose. “Gotta go. I got a page.”
Perplexed, Wilson replied, “No, you didn’t. I was sitting right here.”
“It was a super secret page. Like the Bat signal, only significantly less visible.”
“Ooookay. See you.” Wilson rolled his eyes as House walked out the door.
“Watch out, Coma Guy,” Wilson said under his breath, as he cleaned up the lunch mess House had left behind. “Hope you don’t catch the madness too.”
***
In the diagnostics conference room, House’s expression was foul. He barely listened to the patient’s symptoms, sent Foreman to run a series of tests, then stomped into his own office. Chase tilted his chair back, propped his feet on the conference table, and sent the tennis ball hurtling toward the ceiling. Cameron sighed and asked, “What is up with House? He’s been in the worst mood since lunch.”
In catching the ball, Chase happened to glance into the corridor. “Uh, oh.” He brought his chair back to the floor and gestured toward the hall with his chin. “Looks like maybe Mummy’s stepping out on Daddy.”
Wilson and Charlie were passing by, and from his wide gestures, it looked like Charlie was in the middle of an amusing anecdote. He stopped directly in front of the conference room and made a rowdy “whoo whoo” train motion, which cracked Wilson up entirely.
Turning back toward the whiteboard, Cameron jumped to see House standing there. “I think the patient -” she began, but House stalked back to his office and flung the door shut. Without the pneumatic door closer, the slam would have reverberated all the way to the elevators.
***
Early on Wednesday, Wilson ran into Charlie in line for coffee in the cafeteria. After exchanging hellos, Charlie smiled and said, “Hey, the funniest thing happened to me this morning. I got to my parking space here at the hospital and overnight, it had been turned into a handicapped spot. It’s really strange, too, because the spot’s way on the other side from the elevators. I can’t imagine a handicapped person actually wanting to park there.” He shrugged with one shoulder. “But whatever, for the good of society, it’s fine. It was a pain trying to find an unreserved space, though.”
Wilson brought his hand to the back of his own neck and twisted it briefly. “Yeah, the weirdest things happen in that garage from time to time.” He faced Charlie directly and gave a quick reassuring smile. “It was probably a mistake. I’ll talk to Cuddy, and see if I can get it switched back.”
Charlie paid for both their coffees and passed one to Wilson. “Don’t put yourself out. I didn’t mean to complain. It was funny, that’s all.”
“Yep, very funny.” He tilted the coffee cup in farewell and headed to Cuddy’s office.
Cuddy was intent on paperwork, but her assistant waved Wilson in anyway. Just jump in and swim, he thought, and launched into the story. “House, as kind of a prank, seems to have put up signs designating someone’s assigned parking spot as a handicapped space. Can you get Maintenance to fix it?”
“Oy.” She dropped her pen on her desk. “Like his parking space isn’t already great.” Frowning, she reached for the phone. “I’ll call him in here.”
“No!” He stopped and gave her his most winning smile. “It’s just a little prank. I’ll make sure he doesn’t do it again.”
“If I had a nickel for every time you’ve had to say that to me over the years…” She exhaled forcefully and shook her head. “But you do usually get him to stop, so I’ll trust you.” She hit the intercom button. “Please get me Maintenance.”
“Thanks.” Wilson let himself out.
***
He stopped by House’s office a few minutes before noon. “Want to get lunch?”
“Sure.” House started to rise. “You’re not going to forget in the ten seconds it takes me to walk to the door, are you?”
“Nope.”
“Good.” House brushed past Wilson on his way out of the office.
Wilson fell into step behind him. “Parking space. Cute. Don’t do it again.”
“I’m sure I don’t know what you’re talking about,” was what House said, but his eyes indicated something else entirely.
***
Thursday morning, Charlie caught Wilson in the hall as he was walking with House. “Hey, my space is back. Thanks for that.”
“Yeah, it was just a mix-up.” He cast a sidelong glance at House, whose nonchalance could not be more fake even if accompanied by an off-key whistle.
“Can you grab lunch with me today? I want to get your opinion on some test results.”
“Sure.”
“Great,” Charlie said. “And nice to see you again - House?” Wilson turned, and House was gone.
Charlie laughed in amazement. “How can a guy with a cane move so quietly?”
“Hmm,” Wilson replied.
***
The orthopedics department became a very interesting place to be over the next week. Charlie recounted it all to Wilson during a late afternoon break.
“So, early in the week, Steve comes in the lounge to take a break, and he can’t get the channel changer to work. He takes out the batteries, puts them back, not it. He switches the batteries with some in a different device, doesn’t work. Turns out someone locked out the channels. The only one we could get was this one that shows Spanish soap operas all day.”
“Really.” Wilson bit back a sigh. “That’s funny.”
“Then, I think it was yesterday, the magazine shows up. It’s addressed to the head of our department, but her secretary won’t touch it. Could hardly get the mail guy to put it down, though.”
“What was it?” (He’d almost said, “Which?”)
“FHM. You know, one of those ‘it’s not porn ’cause we’re wearing underwear’ ones. It was pretty gross; I don’t blame Jane for not touching it. Lara was livid that the subscription was in her name. Title too, on the label.” Charlie pushed off the bench, still shaking his head. “Interesting times. See ya.”
House was packing up to go when Wilson stopped by the office.
“Interesting things are happening over in the orthopedics department.”
“Is that so?” House spotted his iPod and shoved it in his bag. “Bones seem kind of boring to me. Your really cool stuff tends to happen in the organs and soft tissues.” He threw the bag over his shoulder and grabbed his cane. “Going to New York for the weekend; you’ll have to fend for yourself. See you Monday.” With a nod and a wave, House was gone.
( continued)