[046.] Truths and Lies
Title: Truths and Lies
Fandom: Kingdom Hearts
Claim: Cloud/Riku
Theme: [046.] Eyes
Word Count: 3,389
Rating: R
Summary: Riku’s eyes can’t lie, but neither can Cloud’s.
Disclaimer: I wish, okay? It’s all lies. I don’t own Kingdom Hearts, I don’t know anyone who owns Kingdom Hearts, and I am not affiliated with anyone who is affiliated with anyone who owns Kingdom Hearts. I think that about covers it.
Author’s Note: I humbly apologize for leaving you all with the same horrible cliffhanger not once, but twice. What kind of sadistic person does something like that? I guess it’s me. But if you’ll reference to the theme and read on I hope you will understand why. I’ve been so looking forward to this juncture in Cloud and Riku’s relationship. I’m beside myself with glee.
Questions raced through Cloud’s mind at a speed too fast to translate them into words. Riku’s eyes were orange. Bloodshot red-orange. And now he was sobbing on the ground, curled, and all Cloud could do was bite his tongue. This wasn’t the time for a “What the hell is going on?” At least not yet. Cloud figured it had something to do with his encounter with the infamous Roxas, but . . .
“It’s going to be okay,” said Cloud. He dropped his voice, tone soft, and rubbed Riku’s arm with one hand as he clutched his shaking body with the other. “It’s all right.”
“Why are you here?” said Riku through the sobs. “I left so I wouldn’t drag you into this. Why did you come? How did you . . .”
“Riku, look at you. You’re a mess. Just calm down, okay? Everything’s going to be all right.”
“Why did you come?”
“Because I didn’t want you to go through this alone.”
The statement hung in the air. Riku choked on his tears. His shoulders continued to shake under Cloud’s grip, but the awful cries started to quiet and fade into soft hiccups. Cloud held his breath and waited.
“I didn’t want to drag you into this. How did you find me?”
“You told me where you were going and where it was. Did you really think I’d let you do this all by yourself?”
“I have to do it by myself. I don’t need your help. I don’t want you here.” Riku’s voice broke off and he pitched forward, burying his face into Cloud’s chest. His hands gripped at his shoulders. “I didn’t want you to see me like this.”
Cloud stiffened, released a long sigh, and brought a hand to stroke the back of Riku’s head.
“I know you have to do this by yourself, babe. I know. But that doesn’t mean that I can’t be here to support you.”
Riku shook his head. His grip tightened.
“I don’t need help. I can do it on my own. I can . . .”
“I know. I know you can. But you shouldn’t have to. I want to be here with you. It doesn’t always have to be you coming to me, you know.”
“There’s nothing you can do.”
“I’m doing something right now. You can take care of Roxas, and I can hold you when you cry.”
Riku had grown quite a bit more than Cloud realized before. At least that’s what he noticed the more Riku clutched to him as if trying to bury himself within. Cloud shifted and braced Riku’s body against his thighs. Riku’s breath hitched.
“I can’t take care of Roxas. I . . . I already tried, and . . .”
“I know, babe. I know.”
“What do you mean that you know?”
“I had the displeasure of meeting your good friend Roxas while I was looking for you. He’s the one who pointed me down this alleyway. Your phone did the rest. Though if you’re still really ticked off about me being here you can blame King Mickey because he’s the one who told me how to get here.”
“He told you . . .?”
”Can’t land a Gummi here. Had to stop off in Twilight Town and travel through your corridors of darkness. That shit sucks. I don’t know how you do it all the time. You deserve more credit for holding onto your heart than you get.”
“You went through corridors of darkness for me?”
“Yeah, so you better stop crying and tell me what happened.”
“Don’t be mean to me.”
“Riku, what happened?”
“I couldn’t beat him. I couldn’t . . . I failed.”
“Riku . . .”
Cloud eased Riku’s grip off his shoulders and shifted their bodies so that they both sat on the floor, legs intertwined. Riku sat between his legs, hip pressed against Cloud’s abdomen. He wrapped his left arm around Riku’s back and gently grabbed his chin with the other, directing his face toward Cloud’s.
“Riku, come on. Look at me. Tell me what happened.”
Riku’s face scrunched up and he shook his head again.
“No. I can’t.”
“Yes, you can. Come on.”
“No.”
“Riku, come on. Make me understand.”
Riku face screwed up again and then relaxed. He released a strangled sigh and slowly his eyelids fluttered open. Cloud didn’t know what he’d expected, but nothing happened other than he now stared into orange eyes that were once aquamarine. He took a breath, gulped, and moved his hand to stroke his thumb along Riku’s cheek.
“What happened?” he asked again. Riku swallowed.
“I found Roxas. I fought him. I lost.”
“I gathered that much. I’m looking for details.”
Riku hesitated, looked away for a moment, and then stared at the ground. He picked at his jeans.
“I don’t . . . I met this guy yesterday. One of the Organization guys. It was . . .”
“Does this have something do with Roxas?”
“I don’t know. Maybe. He was really weird. The Organization . . . the way they speak, and this guy especially . . . They only tell you what they want you to know. He said my scent is similar to their Superior’s. And when I told him I was looking for Roxas, he told me to do whatever I wanted with him because he betrayed the Organization. He knew about Sora being asleep. He didn’t say it in so many words, but he confirmed the Nobody thing.”
“So Roxas is Sora’s Nobody?”
“Yeah. And . . . And I don’t . . .” Riku sighed. “I didn’t need him to tell me, you know? I knew the second I saw him. He looks just like him except the hair. It was the first time I remember what Sora looks like.”
Cloud nodded.
“So what happened? Did you get straight to fighting? Try to knock him unconscious so you drag him back to DiZ?”
“No. I . . . I tried talking to him. I told him about Sora, but Roxas has got a really short fuse. Completely blew up at me. I mean . . . I don’t know. I guess he kind of has a right to. I know DiZ says the Nobodies don’t really exist. They don’t have feelings but this Roxas kid got so mad. I don’t really blame him. I’m kind of asking him to give up his life for Sora, but he was Sora once. He’s just separated now. But he attacked me, and he’s . . . He’s really powerful. I think he really was going to kill me.
“I got a few hits on him but it was like he didn’t even feel them. He’s got two Keyblades. I’m just not . . . I couldn’t beat Sora, and I can’t beat his Nobody, either. I knew it was going to happen. I was so afraid of this happening, but I didn’t think this . . .” Riku covered his eyes with his hands. “I didn’t think . . .”
Cloud rubbed Riku’s back.
“It’s okay, babe. Take your time.”
Riku huffed.
“I was in so much pain. I couldn’t defend myself. And then he broke my wrist. I could actually hear my bone break, and it hurt so bad, and it was the same hand I use to fight. I couldn’t hold onto my Keyblade. I couldn’t defend myself. I couldn’t fight. I was so afraid I was going to die and I didn’t really think about it. I just knew I had to do something to hold him off long enough to get out of there. So I opened up the darkness in my heart just a little. Just enough to defend myself. Just enough to fix my wrist so I could still fight.”
The words started to register. Cloud took a deep breath.
“I threw a Dark Aura at him,” Riku continued. “I felt it, too. I felt the darkness shoot through me, and I just started flinging attacks at him. I lost my temper, and he . . . That must have been when this happened.” Riku motioned to his face. “Roxas commented on it, and I didn’t know what he was talking about until I saw my reflection in his Keyblade. I just let him walk away. I didn’t even try to stop him. I just let him walk away and I ran back here. I failed and now . . .”
Cloud nodded.
“So you released a little Ansem to defend yourself, heal your wound, and your eyes . . .”
“Yeah.”
“Were Ansem’s eyes orange like that?”
Riku breath hitched. He nodded.
“Yeah.”
“So when you released that little bit you took on some of his abilities?”
“Yeah. I just . . . What if I had released more? What would happen to me? What if I can’t beat Roxas without it? Would I . . . ?”
“Would you turn into him again?”
Riku nodded.
“Would he take over me again like before? Would I go back to the realm of darkness?”
Cloud shook his head.
“I don’t know, babe. What did you feel like where you fighting him? Did you lose control of yourself at all?”
“No. I just . . . I could just do stuff I couldn’t before.”
“Then I’d say that you wouldn’t go back to the realm of darkness, but I think the more you release . . . You said . . . When Sora defeated him . . . He was in your body, wasn’t he?”
Riku’s eyes widened, He shot up.
“What . . . Does that mean . . .?”
“That’s why that piece is in your heart, right? You beat him, but it came along with your body because he’d possessed you and Sora killed him in your body, right?” Riku nodded. “So maybe Ansem is really gone but that piece is part of his darkness. Part of his power. And if you open it up, your body takes on that appearance because . . .”
“Because that’s the appearance it had with those powers. When it was returned to me,” Riku finished. “So if I opened it up and had to use it I wouldn’t lose my heart? I’d just . . .” Riku hunched over again. “Yeah, that’s really just as bad.”
Cloud laughed and smoothed his hand over Riku’s forehead, across his hairline.
“It’s just aesthetics, babe. I love you for who you are, not how you look. And once you defeat the darkness in you it’ll all go away. Your heart will be all yours again. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. Your eyes just can’t lie.”
“What?”
“Your eyes can’t lie.”
”What does that mean?”
Cloud chuckled.
“Your eyes give away the darkness that’s still inside you.”
“That’s very tragically poetic.”
“Yeah, that’s what I thought when Zack said it, too.”
Riku lifted his head.
“Zack said it? Your . . . your Zack?”
Cloud’s expression softened. He sighed.
“You want to know what the deal was with me and SOLDIER, right?”
“Yeah . . . What does that have to do with anything?”
“Mako. My eyes can’t lie, either.”
Riku shifted his position to face Cloud. He frowned.
“What do you mean? What’s mako?”
“Mako is the main source of energy on Gaia. You know about the Lifestream?”
Riku huffed.
“I don’t really understand any of this.”
“It’s okay. The Lifestream is the planet’s life. Its blood, I guess you could say. Gaia can’t exist without it. And mako is a refined form of the Lifestream. Shinra harvested the mako and used it to power the planet, which is what everyone in AVALANCHE were so pissed off about. Shinra was, essentially, killing the planet.
“My eyes weren’t always this exact color. I mean, they were always blue, but prolonged exposure to mako creates a glow in the eyes. They’re called ‘mako eyes’ and defined as the ‘mark of a SOLDIER.’ Overexposure to mako can get really nasty, too. We’re talking genetic mutations, death . . . but exposure to mako can make you more powerful, and as a rule all SOLDIERS are exposed to mako for that very purpose.”
“That sounds really dangerous.”
Cloud nodded. He chuckled a little.
“It is. I wasn’t exposed to it until after I’d already let the darkness in and made SOLDIER. Leon told you about when I fought Sephiroth the first time, right? After he killed all those people . . .”
”And almost killed Tifa and Zack. Yeah.”
“And he told you about the Shinra scientists holding me, Zack, and Sephiroth for experiments?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay. So you know that this was when they realized the darkness had empowered me so they used it on Sephiroth, but what Leon probably doesn’t know . . .” Cloud paused. “I’ve only ever told Aerith about this before. I think Tifa expects, but I never told her.”
Riku bit his lip and nodded.
“I don’t exactly remember what happened because of that time, but . . . Did Leon tell you about Jenova?”
“You did. First month on the Gummi. Big calamity from the sky that was going to destroy the world, but the Shinra idiots thought it was some sort of Ancient that’d lead them to the Promised Land.”
“And the Shinra idiots think the Promised Land is full of mako, but anyway . . . Sephiroth was injected with Jenova cells when he was still in the womb. He was the test baby-the first. One of their brilliant plots to make people more powerful, but it’s what ultimately made Sephiroth so insane. It’s also why he’s so difficult to defeat. I can kill him where Sora can’t because while they were injecting him with my darkness, they were injecting me with Jenova cells-‘The Sephiroth Gene’ as they call it. They did it to Zack, too.
“Now I would’ve been fine, probably just as alert as Zack was, but they were having a great time playing around with me. And like I said before, overexposure to mako can get nasty, and when Zack broke us out of there I was so out of my mind because I had mako poisoning at the time. Mako poisoning causes your mind to become completely flooded with memories so you can’t perceive your surroundings or anything else. I was so completely delirious that I didn’t remember anything about Zack dying when I finally got over it. I woke up with Tifa’s tits in my face and the rest of AVALANCHE around me believing that I was a mercenary and Zack. I mean, I knew my name, but I thought Zack’s life had been mine while working for SOLDIER.”
Riku snorted.
“You laugh, but it was bad. Sometime while we were fighting Shinra and Sephiroth after that I got it again. That’s why I remember what happened now. Zack literally dragged me across the planet. Got it into his head that we should become mercenaries when we got to Midgar-that’s where I got that brilliant idea-but he told me that we needed to be careful because Shinra would be after us. He said it’s hard to blend it when you’re a former SOLDIER and being chased after because our eyes can’t lie.”
“Mako eyes.”
“Exactly.”
“You don’t have luck with that mako, do you?”
Cloud rolled his eyes.
“Oh, yeah. We know each other better than I’d like.”
“So that’s why your eyes are so shiny.”
“You’re a brat. So . . . yeah. That’s what happened. Shinra caught up with us, killed Zack, and left me for dead. I wandered around in my delirium, collapsed in front of Tifa, and the rest is history. So if it makes you feel any better about your Ansem eyes, at least your story isn’t quite as ridiculous as mine.”
Riku hung his head.
“I just . . . I just can’t stand to look at myself like this.”
Cloud nodded.
“I’ve been there. Every time I look in a mirror I think about it. I think about Shinra, the experiments, Sephiroth, Zack . . . Yours is going to go away. Mine are going to be with me for the rest of my life.”
“You never got over him, did you?”
Cloud’s face softened. He nodded.
“Yeah, I did.”
Riku smiled a little, inched forward, and rested his head against Cloud’s shoulder.
“I love you. I just . . . I just wish this hadn’t happened.”
Cloud bit his lip and held up a finger.
“One sec. Let me up.”
Riku moved aside and Cloud got to his feet. He crossed back to the entrance where he’d left his bag and phone, flipped the phone closed, and unzipped the bag. He rifled around for a bit and then tossed a long, black garment to Riku.
“First of all, you’re going to need that wandering around this place.”
Riku frowned. He unfolded the garment and smiled.
“It’s my Organization cloak. You brought it for me?”
“I brought that sexy little outfit of yours from the club, too. I figured that maybe we could play.”
“Cloud, you are not fucking me with my eyes like this.”
“Then you better get rid of that Ansem part real fast or learn to deal with it because if you think I’m not having sex with you over something like orange eyes you are out of your mind.”
“Hey, you can’t blame me. It was you who had to come back after me because you couldn’t stop thinking about my eyes. They were your favorite thing about me.”
Cloud looked up and smiled.
“You remember that?”
“Yeah.”
“Riku, I do love your eyes. I love your eyes because I can read every emotion you feel in them. I love that about you. And just because they’re orange right now doesn’t make it any different. It’s just kind of unexpected. Here.”
“What?”
“Turn around.”
Riku turned and faced the other way. Cloud took a long, thin piece of black material, wrapped it around Riku’s eyes, and knotted it at the back.
“Did you just blindfold me?”
Cloud grabbed Riku by the shoulders and turned him around. He slid the blindfold up to his forehead, exposing his eyes to the light again.
“Now you won’t have to worry about it. You won’t have to look at it.”
“How am I going to see?”
“You travel through corridors of darkness all the time. You can’t see a damn thing in those. Don’t tell me that you can’t sense your way around blindfolded.”
Riku shrugged.
“I actually do better with my eyes closed.”
“Then that’s how you’re going to fight Roxas again. And you won’t have to worry about me looking at the orange eyes.”
Riku frowned.
“Cloud?”
“Hm?”
“Why the hell did you bring a blindfold? Where did you even get a blindfold?”
“I told you; I thought we could play. And you’d be surprised what Leon’s hiding in his room. His penchant for leather seems to extend beyond the range of apparel.”
Riku snorted.
“I’m somehow unsurprised.”
“That makes two of us.”
Riku reached up and fingered the edges of the blindfold bound securely around his forehead.
“Aren’t I kind of . . . I don’t know . . . lying to myself?”
Cloud sighed and shrugged.
“Sometimes it’s all you can do not to lose your mind.”
Riku nodded, pulled the material over his eyes, and stepped forward. Cloud reached out and pulled Riku to him.
“I do kind of like this blindfold thing. I feel you more,” said Riku. His breath was hot on Cloud’s cheek as he stepped closer and nuzzled his nose against Cloud’s skin. Cloud wrapped his arms around Riku and held him against his chest. “You feel warm. I’m so cold here.”
“Did you get that sleep?”
“I couldn’t sleep. Nightmares. The darkness. I wanted you.”
“Well I’m here now. Is there a bed here?”
“Up the stairs.”
“Then let’s get you into bed. I’ll take the Keyblade for you. Keep it on the other side of the room. Don’t want the Heartless ruining a much-needed rest.”
“I’d be so lost without you.”
“Everything’s going to be okay. All right?”
Riku nodded.
“Okay. I trust you.”
( Prompt Table) for previous installments. 046/100 Complete.
Fandom: Kingdom Hearts
Claim: Cloud/Riku
Theme: [046.] Eyes
Word Count: 3,389
Rating: R
Summary: Riku’s eyes can’t lie, but neither can Cloud’s.
Disclaimer: I wish, okay? It’s all lies. I don’t own Kingdom Hearts, I don’t know anyone who owns Kingdom Hearts, and I am not affiliated with anyone who is affiliated with anyone who owns Kingdom Hearts. I think that about covers it.
Author’s Note: I humbly apologize for leaving you all with the same horrible cliffhanger not once, but twice. What kind of sadistic person does something like that? I guess it’s me. But if you’ll reference to the theme and read on I hope you will understand why. I’ve been so looking forward to this juncture in Cloud and Riku’s relationship. I’m beside myself with glee.
Questions raced through Cloud’s mind at a speed too fast to translate them into words. Riku’s eyes were orange. Bloodshot red-orange. And now he was sobbing on the ground, curled, and all Cloud could do was bite his tongue. This wasn’t the time for a “What the hell is going on?” At least not yet. Cloud figured it had something to do with his encounter with the infamous Roxas, but . . .
“It’s going to be okay,” said Cloud. He dropped his voice, tone soft, and rubbed Riku’s arm with one hand as he clutched his shaking body with the other. “It’s all right.”
“Why are you here?” said Riku through the sobs. “I left so I wouldn’t drag you into this. Why did you come? How did you . . .”
“Riku, look at you. You’re a mess. Just calm down, okay? Everything’s going to be all right.”
“Why did you come?”
“Because I didn’t want you to go through this alone.”
The statement hung in the air. Riku choked on his tears. His shoulders continued to shake under Cloud’s grip, but the awful cries started to quiet and fade into soft hiccups. Cloud held his breath and waited.
“I didn’t want to drag you into this. How did you find me?”
“You told me where you were going and where it was. Did you really think I’d let you do this all by yourself?”
“I have to do it by myself. I don’t need your help. I don’t want you here.” Riku’s voice broke off and he pitched forward, burying his face into Cloud’s chest. His hands gripped at his shoulders. “I didn’t want you to see me like this.”
Cloud stiffened, released a long sigh, and brought a hand to stroke the back of Riku’s head.
“I know you have to do this by yourself, babe. I know. But that doesn’t mean that I can’t be here to support you.”
Riku shook his head. His grip tightened.
“I don’t need help. I can do it on my own. I can . . .”
“I know. I know you can. But you shouldn’t have to. I want to be here with you. It doesn’t always have to be you coming to me, you know.”
“There’s nothing you can do.”
“I’m doing something right now. You can take care of Roxas, and I can hold you when you cry.”
Riku had grown quite a bit more than Cloud realized before. At least that’s what he noticed the more Riku clutched to him as if trying to bury himself within. Cloud shifted and braced Riku’s body against his thighs. Riku’s breath hitched.
“I can’t take care of Roxas. I . . . I already tried, and . . .”
“I know, babe. I know.”
“What do you mean that you know?”
“I had the displeasure of meeting your good friend Roxas while I was looking for you. He’s the one who pointed me down this alleyway. Your phone did the rest. Though if you’re still really ticked off about me being here you can blame King Mickey because he’s the one who told me how to get here.”
“He told you . . .?”
”Can’t land a Gummi here. Had to stop off in Twilight Town and travel through your corridors of darkness. That shit sucks. I don’t know how you do it all the time. You deserve more credit for holding onto your heart than you get.”
“You went through corridors of darkness for me?”
“Yeah, so you better stop crying and tell me what happened.”
“Don’t be mean to me.”
“Riku, what happened?”
“I couldn’t beat him. I couldn’t . . . I failed.”
“Riku . . .”
Cloud eased Riku’s grip off his shoulders and shifted their bodies so that they both sat on the floor, legs intertwined. Riku sat between his legs, hip pressed against Cloud’s abdomen. He wrapped his left arm around Riku’s back and gently grabbed his chin with the other, directing his face toward Cloud’s.
“Riku, come on. Look at me. Tell me what happened.”
Riku’s face scrunched up and he shook his head again.
“No. I can’t.”
“Yes, you can. Come on.”
“No.”
“Riku, come on. Make me understand.”
Riku face screwed up again and then relaxed. He released a strangled sigh and slowly his eyelids fluttered open. Cloud didn’t know what he’d expected, but nothing happened other than he now stared into orange eyes that were once aquamarine. He took a breath, gulped, and moved his hand to stroke his thumb along Riku’s cheek.
“What happened?” he asked again. Riku swallowed.
“I found Roxas. I fought him. I lost.”
“I gathered that much. I’m looking for details.”
Riku hesitated, looked away for a moment, and then stared at the ground. He picked at his jeans.
“I don’t . . . I met this guy yesterday. One of the Organization guys. It was . . .”
“Does this have something do with Roxas?”
“I don’t know. Maybe. He was really weird. The Organization . . . the way they speak, and this guy especially . . . They only tell you what they want you to know. He said my scent is similar to their Superior’s. And when I told him I was looking for Roxas, he told me to do whatever I wanted with him because he betrayed the Organization. He knew about Sora being asleep. He didn’t say it in so many words, but he confirmed the Nobody thing.”
“So Roxas is Sora’s Nobody?”
“Yeah. And . . . And I don’t . . .” Riku sighed. “I didn’t need him to tell me, you know? I knew the second I saw him. He looks just like him except the hair. It was the first time I remember what Sora looks like.”
Cloud nodded.
“So what happened? Did you get straight to fighting? Try to knock him unconscious so you drag him back to DiZ?”
“No. I . . . I tried talking to him. I told him about Sora, but Roxas has got a really short fuse. Completely blew up at me. I mean . . . I don’t know. I guess he kind of has a right to. I know DiZ says the Nobodies don’t really exist. They don’t have feelings but this Roxas kid got so mad. I don’t really blame him. I’m kind of asking him to give up his life for Sora, but he was Sora once. He’s just separated now. But he attacked me, and he’s . . . He’s really powerful. I think he really was going to kill me.
“I got a few hits on him but it was like he didn’t even feel them. He’s got two Keyblades. I’m just not . . . I couldn’t beat Sora, and I can’t beat his Nobody, either. I knew it was going to happen. I was so afraid of this happening, but I didn’t think this . . .” Riku covered his eyes with his hands. “I didn’t think . . .”
Cloud rubbed Riku’s back.
“It’s okay, babe. Take your time.”
Riku huffed.
“I was in so much pain. I couldn’t defend myself. And then he broke my wrist. I could actually hear my bone break, and it hurt so bad, and it was the same hand I use to fight. I couldn’t hold onto my Keyblade. I couldn’t defend myself. I couldn’t fight. I was so afraid I was going to die and I didn’t really think about it. I just knew I had to do something to hold him off long enough to get out of there. So I opened up the darkness in my heart just a little. Just enough to defend myself. Just enough to fix my wrist so I could still fight.”
The words started to register. Cloud took a deep breath.
“I threw a Dark Aura at him,” Riku continued. “I felt it, too. I felt the darkness shoot through me, and I just started flinging attacks at him. I lost my temper, and he . . . That must have been when this happened.” Riku motioned to his face. “Roxas commented on it, and I didn’t know what he was talking about until I saw my reflection in his Keyblade. I just let him walk away. I didn’t even try to stop him. I just let him walk away and I ran back here. I failed and now . . .”
Cloud nodded.
“So you released a little Ansem to defend yourself, heal your wound, and your eyes . . .”
“Yeah.”
“Were Ansem’s eyes orange like that?”
Riku breath hitched. He nodded.
“Yeah.”
“So when you released that little bit you took on some of his abilities?”
“Yeah. I just . . . What if I had released more? What would happen to me? What if I can’t beat Roxas without it? Would I . . . ?”
“Would you turn into him again?”
Riku nodded.
“Would he take over me again like before? Would I go back to the realm of darkness?”
Cloud shook his head.
“I don’t know, babe. What did you feel like where you fighting him? Did you lose control of yourself at all?”
“No. I just . . . I could just do stuff I couldn’t before.”
“Then I’d say that you wouldn’t go back to the realm of darkness, but I think the more you release . . . You said . . . When Sora defeated him . . . He was in your body, wasn’t he?”
Riku’s eyes widened, He shot up.
“What . . . Does that mean . . .?”
“That’s why that piece is in your heart, right? You beat him, but it came along with your body because he’d possessed you and Sora killed him in your body, right?” Riku nodded. “So maybe Ansem is really gone but that piece is part of his darkness. Part of his power. And if you open it up, your body takes on that appearance because . . .”
“Because that’s the appearance it had with those powers. When it was returned to me,” Riku finished. “So if I opened it up and had to use it I wouldn’t lose my heart? I’d just . . .” Riku hunched over again. “Yeah, that’s really just as bad.”
Cloud laughed and smoothed his hand over Riku’s forehead, across his hairline.
“It’s just aesthetics, babe. I love you for who you are, not how you look. And once you defeat the darkness in you it’ll all go away. Your heart will be all yours again. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. Your eyes just can’t lie.”
“What?”
“Your eyes can’t lie.”
”What does that mean?”
Cloud chuckled.
“Your eyes give away the darkness that’s still inside you.”
“That’s very tragically poetic.”
“Yeah, that’s what I thought when Zack said it, too.”
Riku lifted his head.
“Zack said it? Your . . . your Zack?”
Cloud’s expression softened. He sighed.
“You want to know what the deal was with me and SOLDIER, right?”
“Yeah . . . What does that have to do with anything?”
“Mako. My eyes can’t lie, either.”
Riku shifted his position to face Cloud. He frowned.
“What do you mean? What’s mako?”
“Mako is the main source of energy on Gaia. You know about the Lifestream?”
Riku huffed.
“I don’t really understand any of this.”
“It’s okay. The Lifestream is the planet’s life. Its blood, I guess you could say. Gaia can’t exist without it. And mako is a refined form of the Lifestream. Shinra harvested the mako and used it to power the planet, which is what everyone in AVALANCHE were so pissed off about. Shinra was, essentially, killing the planet.
“My eyes weren’t always this exact color. I mean, they were always blue, but prolonged exposure to mako creates a glow in the eyes. They’re called ‘mako eyes’ and defined as the ‘mark of a SOLDIER.’ Overexposure to mako can get really nasty, too. We’re talking genetic mutations, death . . . but exposure to mako can make you more powerful, and as a rule all SOLDIERS are exposed to mako for that very purpose.”
“That sounds really dangerous.”
Cloud nodded. He chuckled a little.
“It is. I wasn’t exposed to it until after I’d already let the darkness in and made SOLDIER. Leon told you about when I fought Sephiroth the first time, right? After he killed all those people . . .”
”And almost killed Tifa and Zack. Yeah.”
“And he told you about the Shinra scientists holding me, Zack, and Sephiroth for experiments?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay. So you know that this was when they realized the darkness had empowered me so they used it on Sephiroth, but what Leon probably doesn’t know . . .” Cloud paused. “I’ve only ever told Aerith about this before. I think Tifa expects, but I never told her.”
Riku bit his lip and nodded.
“I don’t exactly remember what happened because of that time, but . . . Did Leon tell you about Jenova?”
“You did. First month on the Gummi. Big calamity from the sky that was going to destroy the world, but the Shinra idiots thought it was some sort of Ancient that’d lead them to the Promised Land.”
“And the Shinra idiots think the Promised Land is full of mako, but anyway . . . Sephiroth was injected with Jenova cells when he was still in the womb. He was the test baby-the first. One of their brilliant plots to make people more powerful, but it’s what ultimately made Sephiroth so insane. It’s also why he’s so difficult to defeat. I can kill him where Sora can’t because while they were injecting him with my darkness, they were injecting me with Jenova cells-‘The Sephiroth Gene’ as they call it. They did it to Zack, too.
“Now I would’ve been fine, probably just as alert as Zack was, but they were having a great time playing around with me. And like I said before, overexposure to mako can get nasty, and when Zack broke us out of there I was so out of my mind because I had mako poisoning at the time. Mako poisoning causes your mind to become completely flooded with memories so you can’t perceive your surroundings or anything else. I was so completely delirious that I didn’t remember anything about Zack dying when I finally got over it. I woke up with Tifa’s tits in my face and the rest of AVALANCHE around me believing that I was a mercenary and Zack. I mean, I knew my name, but I thought Zack’s life had been mine while working for SOLDIER.”
Riku snorted.
“You laugh, but it was bad. Sometime while we were fighting Shinra and Sephiroth after that I got it again. That’s why I remember what happened now. Zack literally dragged me across the planet. Got it into his head that we should become mercenaries when we got to Midgar-that’s where I got that brilliant idea-but he told me that we needed to be careful because Shinra would be after us. He said it’s hard to blend it when you’re a former SOLDIER and being chased after because our eyes can’t lie.”
“Mako eyes.”
“Exactly.”
“You don’t have luck with that mako, do you?”
Cloud rolled his eyes.
“Oh, yeah. We know each other better than I’d like.”
“So that’s why your eyes are so shiny.”
“You’re a brat. So . . . yeah. That’s what happened. Shinra caught up with us, killed Zack, and left me for dead. I wandered around in my delirium, collapsed in front of Tifa, and the rest is history. So if it makes you feel any better about your Ansem eyes, at least your story isn’t quite as ridiculous as mine.”
Riku hung his head.
“I just . . . I just can’t stand to look at myself like this.”
Cloud nodded.
“I’ve been there. Every time I look in a mirror I think about it. I think about Shinra, the experiments, Sephiroth, Zack . . . Yours is going to go away. Mine are going to be with me for the rest of my life.”
“You never got over him, did you?”
Cloud’s face softened. He nodded.
“Yeah, I did.”
Riku smiled a little, inched forward, and rested his head against Cloud’s shoulder.
“I love you. I just . . . I just wish this hadn’t happened.”
Cloud bit his lip and held up a finger.
“One sec. Let me up.”
Riku moved aside and Cloud got to his feet. He crossed back to the entrance where he’d left his bag and phone, flipped the phone closed, and unzipped the bag. He rifled around for a bit and then tossed a long, black garment to Riku.
“First of all, you’re going to need that wandering around this place.”
Riku frowned. He unfolded the garment and smiled.
“It’s my Organization cloak. You brought it for me?”
“I brought that sexy little outfit of yours from the club, too. I figured that maybe we could play.”
“Cloud, you are not fucking me with my eyes like this.”
“Then you better get rid of that Ansem part real fast or learn to deal with it because if you think I’m not having sex with you over something like orange eyes you are out of your mind.”
“Hey, you can’t blame me. It was you who had to come back after me because you couldn’t stop thinking about my eyes. They were your favorite thing about me.”
Cloud looked up and smiled.
“You remember that?”
“Yeah.”
“Riku, I do love your eyes. I love your eyes because I can read every emotion you feel in them. I love that about you. And just because they’re orange right now doesn’t make it any different. It’s just kind of unexpected. Here.”
“What?”
“Turn around.”
Riku turned and faced the other way. Cloud took a long, thin piece of black material, wrapped it around Riku’s eyes, and knotted it at the back.
“Did you just blindfold me?”
Cloud grabbed Riku by the shoulders and turned him around. He slid the blindfold up to his forehead, exposing his eyes to the light again.
“Now you won’t have to worry about it. You won’t have to look at it.”
“How am I going to see?”
“You travel through corridors of darkness all the time. You can’t see a damn thing in those. Don’t tell me that you can’t sense your way around blindfolded.”
Riku shrugged.
“I actually do better with my eyes closed.”
“Then that’s how you’re going to fight Roxas again. And you won’t have to worry about me looking at the orange eyes.”
Riku frowned.
“Cloud?”
“Hm?”
“Why the hell did you bring a blindfold? Where did you even get a blindfold?”
“I told you; I thought we could play. And you’d be surprised what Leon’s hiding in his room. His penchant for leather seems to extend beyond the range of apparel.”
Riku snorted.
“I’m somehow unsurprised.”
“That makes two of us.”
Riku reached up and fingered the edges of the blindfold bound securely around his forehead.
“Aren’t I kind of . . . I don’t know . . . lying to myself?”
Cloud sighed and shrugged.
“Sometimes it’s all you can do not to lose your mind.”
Riku nodded, pulled the material over his eyes, and stepped forward. Cloud reached out and pulled Riku to him.
“I do kind of like this blindfold thing. I feel you more,” said Riku. His breath was hot on Cloud’s cheek as he stepped closer and nuzzled his nose against Cloud’s skin. Cloud wrapped his arms around Riku and held him against his chest. “You feel warm. I’m so cold here.”
“Did you get that sleep?”
“I couldn’t sleep. Nightmares. The darkness. I wanted you.”
“Well I’m here now. Is there a bed here?”
“Up the stairs.”
“Then let’s get you into bed. I’ll take the Keyblade for you. Keep it on the other side of the room. Don’t want the Heartless ruining a much-needed rest.”
“I’d be so lost without you.”
“Everything’s going to be okay. All right?”
Riku nodded.
“Okay. I trust you.”
( Prompt Table) for previous installments. 046/100 Complete.