Double Post: [042] and [043]
Title: Run
Fandom: Kingdom Hearts
Claim: Cloud/Riku
Theme: [042.] Heartless
Word Count: 2,955
Rating: Probably R for language. Usually is.
Summary: Things are starting to happen again.
Disclaimer: I wish, okay? It’s all lies. I don’t own Kingdom Hearts, I don’t know anyone who owns Kingdom Hearts, and I am not affiliated with anyone who is affiliated with anyone who owns Kingdom Hearts. I think that about covers it.
Author’s Note: You have Jediempress to thank for this chapter coming as soon as it did. She has made me eager to get Sora back in this story, and there’s a lot to do before that happens.
“Things are starting to happen again.”
Pain ebbed through the taut muscles in Cloud’s back, arms, and legs. His right arm extended across his chest as his fingers worked at the knots in his left shoulder. He had been in a daze-in one of those brooding moods that prompted taunts from Leon, a swift kick in the ass from Cid, and one of Aerith’s pearls of hidden wisdom. He dreaded the following day with all the work needed done on excavating the lower entrance to the castle. Merlin-in his overexcited desire to help with everything-now tried to assist with the defense system. Since Tifa departed three days ago, Cloud and Mickey were left with the entirety of the grunt work, and Cloud was not happy about it.
Cloud listened as Riku recounted the horrors of his day. For once, he was grateful for his task, because although it was hard on his body, Riku sounded more tired, wearier. The defense system was progressing as expected, but something was screwing with the system, causing blockage on the town grid and interfering with setup. Leon managed to find another system as the source of interruption, but Riku wasn’t able to break into it. Merlin tried his magic, which prompted an argument between Cid and the old wizard. Leon got so frustrated after repeated failed attempts that he drew his Gunblade against it, and Riku had to step in before Leon destroyed the equipment.
It was silent for some time after Riku finished. He dressed for bed as Cloud sank back into his reverie. His eyes were on Riku, and though he watched as Riku brushed his hair, his mind was elsewhere. At least it had been until Riku’s voice cut through the quiet.
“Things are starting to happen again.”
Cloud brought his arm down and rested it in his lap. He rotated his body to face Riku and frowned as he caught sight of his boyfriend’s face. Riku’s eyes were downcast and his mouth was set tight, lips pressed together, almost pursed. When Cloud first met Riku, it was his eyes that drew him in. They were always full of emotion-the window to his heart. The distance and depression he read in the aquamarine settled heavy in his conscious.
“What do you mean?” said Cloud.
Riku shrugged. He set the brush on the dresser and crossed the room. Dropping beside Cloud, his fingers fumbled together. His shoulder rolled forward, hunched over. Riku’s eyes stared at the floor, and though the lengths of their thighs brushed together, Riku remained drawn into himself. The gap Cloud felt between them was enormous.
“Are you still on about things not staying the way they are now?” said Cloud.
“I don’t want to be away from you again. It wasn’t great before, but it wasn’t horrible because . . . Well, I guess ‘cause I was used to it. Now . . . I know what it’s like to be with you all the time. Live with you, and . . . I just don’t want it to end.”
“You shouldn’t be so worried about things. You have a plan. When the time comes, you’re going to help the person no one remembers, and then you’re going to defeat Organization XIII. It’ll only be for a little while, and then we can be together like this again, only it’ll be better because we won’t have the darkness hanging over us.”
“I just don’t know . . .”
Riku sighed.
“You just don’t know what?”
“I don’t know if I should be sitting here waiting. The darkness in my heart-that piece of Ansem . . . it isn’t going away. I don’t want us to be apart, but . . . You’re right, you know? If I don’t end this . . . Things can be better than what we have right now, but it means defeating Ansem, and you have to finish Sephiroth.”
“I know that, babe. That’s what I’m saying. And once that’s all finished, we’ll be together again, and it will be better than it is now. We don’t need the darkness in what we have together.”
“I know that.”
“You’re over thinking. Even if we’re apart, we’ll still see each other. And you have your phone again. We’ll talk all the time. Then we can finish things and really be together without worrying about when things are going to fall to shit again.”
Riku opened his mouth, caught his breath, shook his head, and then his mouth closed again. The depression faded a little from his eyes. In its place was the same determination he’d seen in Riku, unyielding, no matter how much hesitation may have swam behind it. Cloud smiled. For all they had gone through-together as a couple and separately as people-Riku still had the fire in him that grabbed Cloud’s attention from the start. He brushed the back of his hand against Riku’s wrist.
“Don’t worry so much. Whatever happens happens. And you’ll always have me here to be your stability.”
“Cloud, I want you to know that I love you. No matter what happens or where I go . . . I just love you, okay?”
Cloud nodded.
“Yeah, sure. I love you, too.”
~*~
Riku remained sullen over the course of the next few days. Cloud wanted to say something, wished he could do anything to make Riku cheer up, but he had learned long ago that they were similar people. When Riku was ready to talk more about what he was feeling, he’d come to Cloud, but until then it was best not to pry. He had to let Riku figure things out on his own. It didn’t stop the ache in his heart when he caught Riku’s eye. There was a sadness there that mingled with the fire, and Cloud wanted nothing more than to hold him and make the pain go away.
They had never been big at cuddling. Sure, Riku tended to use Cloud’s body as a pillow, and there were nights that when they lay down to sleep, Riku would press his back against Cloud’s chest and he’d bring an arm around Riku’s waist to hold him there. More often than not, Riku sprawled across his half of the bed. They rarely held hands. When they sat together, Cloud draped an arm over Riku, and Riku might have dropped his hand to Cloud’s knee, but the contact was always relaxed. It might have been the way he’d sit with Aerith or Tifa if the mood was right.
They had never been big at talking about their feelings. Sure, there were times when everything fell apart, and all the bottled emotions came spilling out, but the said feelings tended to relate to the darkness. When there was a big enough concern, they had discussions about them. They made sure to say “I love you” everyday just in case, but there were no mushy conversations. Chances were that if there wasn’t a raging war between dark and light, and the Heartless weren’t such a big problem, they wouldn’t even get that far. More often than not, talks about their relationship led to banter, sexual innuendos, and ended in a good fuck.
The lack of poetic romance to their relationship had never bothered Cloud. He never saw a reason to bring Riku flowers or chocolates. Dancing sticky and sweaty at a club on New Year’s Eve beat slow dancing under the moonlight any day. One of the things he loved most about Riku was that there was never a need to whisper sweet nothings to him. He need only say what he meant, and sometimes a simple pat on the shoulder was all Riku wanted. Maybe Riku tended to bring him breakfast in bed, but he had ulterior motives. There was nothing sweet about it.
As the days passed, though, and Riku drew farther away, Cloud wished they were more affectionate. Physical contact between them had always been casual, almost natural. It would be weird and out of place to hug Riku when he was withdrawn. Hugs were only warranted when Riku was an emotional mess, ready to talk, and in the middle of a breakdown. Cloud wanted to pull Riku to him at night and tell him how beautiful he was, wanted to make sure Riku knew just how much he meant to him. He wanted to tell Riku how lost he’d be without him, but professions such as these would be even stranger than hugs. It was more likely that Riku would panic, assured that Cloud was about to break up with him rather than assuage his insecurities.
Ansem was getting to him; it was in his voice. To Cloud, it seemed like eons ago when he sat on the balcony at the hotel in Thebes, spending hours on the phone listening to Riku. All that time, however, had made Cloud’s hearing acute to the changes in Riku’s voice. He had always known when it was an uneventful day, whether Riku was down or not, if he’d had an encounter with Sora before Riku ever said anything. The way he spoke now was so familiar that Cloud felt his heart breaking; it was the same way he spoke every time Maleficent bestowed him with another “gift” of darkness. The way Riku spoke when he feared losing his heart.
“Hello? Cloud? Cloud!”
Cloud blinked. He raised his head to find Leon staring at him. Where did he come from?
“Hey.”
“What were you so lost in thought about?”
“Hm?”
“You’ve been sitting there for almost an hour now. It’s starting to creep me out.”
Cloud frowned.
“What time is it?”
“Almost ten. Riku’s getting ready for bed.”
“Oh.”
Cloud nodded. Leon frowned, rounded the counter, and sat opposite from him. He lit up a cigarette and brought it to his lips.
“You shouldn’t think so much. You’re going to hurt yourself.”
A weak laugh escaped him. Leon shook his head.
“Really, Cloud . . . What’s up?”
“Hm . . . nothing, really. Just . . . I don’t know. I’ve been spacing. So how did things go today?”
Leon raised an eyebrow. He considered Cloud for a moment, took a drag, and shrugged.
“Same as usual. We got the defense system working, but we still can’t break into the other system, and I still can’t figure out where it’s coming from. Did you hear about the Heartless problem?”
“There’s a Heartless problem?”
“Yeah. Around the castle on the other side from where you’re working down by the Dark Depths. The Heartless keep multiplying, and we can’t get the system out there yet. The other system’s interfering with it. Their numbers are growing faster than we can keep up with it, and there are these other creatures . . . these things . . . they look like aliens wearing white jumpsuits. You should see ‘em walk, too. It’s like they’re made of rubber. Cid thinks they’re another kind of Heartless, but I’ve never seen anything like them before.”
Cloud frowned.
“Things are starting to happen again.”
“That’s what Riku said.” Leon paused and rolled his cigarette in the ashtray. “He’s worried, but you know that, don’t you?”
Cloud shrugged.
“He’s been distant for a few days now.”
“I know. It really started right after the Heartless thing happened.”
“He’s counting down.”
“What?”
“Things are starting to happen again. That’s what he said. He’s counting down until it’s time to leave again. The time’s coming and he knows it.”
“Cloud . . .”
“Probably a Keyblade master thing. He just . . . He just knows.”
Leon dropped his head and laughed.
“You know . . . I know you’re right, but I don’t want you to be.”
Cloud raised his eyebrows.
“You?”
“Yeah. Riku’s . . . Riku’s one of us now. I’m used to having him around. He’s . . . I don’t know. I guess he’s kind of like the little brother I never had. Thinking of him going away again . . . fighting to get rid of that piece of Ansem in his heart . . . I guess I see a lot of you in him. I still hate it when you leave, and I pray every time that you’ll finish it and come back.”
“Squall . . .”
“We’re a family, you know. We never had anyone else but each other. Riku’s part of this now, too. I don’t want anything to happen to either one of you. I know I have everyone else, but when you both leave again . . . I don’t know. I guess it’s going to be just me again.”
Cloud bit his lip. He regarded Leon, studying his face. His head hung.
“You have Aerith, Yuffie . . .”
“They have each other. Cid . . . Cid’s always been Cid on his own or not. Tifa’s got Vincent and the kids. It was always you, me, and Zack. Now it’s you, me, and Riku. I hope you know that, Cloud. I hope you know that Riku’s one of us. Breaking up isn’t an option anymore.”
“Guess it’s a good thing I have no intentions of that ever happening.”
Leon nodded.
“That it is.”
“Why is the third person in our group always my boyfriend?”
Leon smiled.
“Cause you made it that way, I guess. It’s a good thing you and Reno weren’t serious. I don’t think I’d have liked him in our group.”
Cloud laughed.
“Oh, I can just imagine you and Reno trying to inhabit the same space. You’d kill him in days.”
“I don’t know how you put up with him.”
“Easily. We didn’t talk much.”
“Slut.”
“Leon . . . I’m sorry about all of this. For leaving Hollow Bastion. What happened with Zack. Sephiroth. I . . . I didn’t mean . . .” Cloud took a deep breath. “I didn’t mean to isolate you.”
Leon’s lips twitched. He shrugged.
“Hey, shit happens. Don’t go getting all sentimental on me.”
“You started it.”
“You aren’t supposed to point that out, Strife. Don’t you remember how things work around here? I couldn’t care less if something happens to you. I’m just worried about Riku. You know how I like to look at him.”
Cloud crossed his arms over his chest. His lips twitched into a smile.
“Bastard.”
Leon smirked.
“I try.”
~*~
Cloud hated the cold, hated the wind. It was annoying the way it whipped at his hair, dried his skin, chapped his lips. His nose felt large on his face; the sweat and heat from labor against the biting January cold had blocked his sinuses. He grunted as his shovel sank into the pile of rocks, strained, and whipped it to the side.
“Cloud!”
He set his shovel down, wiped the sweat from his face, and turned toward the source. Leon rushed toward him, panting, his brunette locks whipping in the wind. He stopped before Cloud and looked around.
“Walkway’s coming along,” said Leon.
“Yeah it is. So what’s up?”
“Have you seen Riku?”
“Not since he left for Merlin’s this morning. Why? What’s up?”
Leon frowned.
“Merlin’s? Riku was going to take his Keyblade out to the Dark Depths today and work on the Heartless problem.”
“Oh, well . . . I don’t know. But, no. Haven’t seen him since this morning. Got a problem?”
“The computer’s freaking out, and I can’t figure out what’s wrong with it. I went down to get him, but he wasn’t there, and he wasn’t at the house, so I thought he might be with you.”
It took several seconds for the information to process. Cloud stared at Leon, searching for some sign that this was a misguided, mean-spirited joke. His heart sank. Leon’s face turned expressionless.
“Riku’s missing,” said Leon.
Cloud bit his lip. He turned his face from Leon and caught King Mickey’s eye. Mickey frowned and nodded.
“No,” said Cloud. “Riku’s gone.”
“The piece of Ansem in his heart?”
“It’s been bothering him.”
Leon frowned. He stepped forward and took the shovel.
“Go.”
“What?”
“I think he’s telling you to go after him,” said Mickey.
Cloud shook his head.
“No. He . . . he needs to do this on his own. It’s what he wants. I understand. Sephiroth . . .”
“Go find him,” said Leon. “You don’t have to bring him back here, but go.”
“He shouldn’t have to go through this alone,” said Mickey.
“You’re the one he trusts.”
Cloud’s mouth fell open to respond. He looked between them.
“If he wanted that he’d have asked me to come.”
“He didn’t want things to end, Cloud,” said Leon. “He’s been dreading the change. He’s scared of losing you. He’s trying to make it easier on himself by just taking off, but he needs you. Aren’t you the one who told me that you’re his stability?”
“Yeah, but . . .”
“Even if it’s not what he wants, it’s what he needs.”
“I wouldn’t know where to start . . . I mean, Hollow Bastion is just about the worst place for him. If I was going to look anywhere, I’d start in the castle, but I know he isn’t going to be there.”
Leon shrugged.
“Do you know what I’d do if I were you?”
Cloud looked up.
“Hm?”
“I’d get on my Gummi ship, give him a call, and lie my ass off about understanding and supporting his decision to do this alone until he told me where he was.”
Cloud smirked.
“Sneaky bastard.”
“I bet you a month’s worth of hard labor it works.”
Cloud raised his eyebrows.
“You’re on.”
Title: Almost
Fandom: Kingdom Hearts
Claim: Cloud/Riku
Theme: [043.] Memory
Word Count: 1,877
Rating: PG
Summary: For Riku, almost always fell short, but this time it had to be enough.
Disclaimer: I wish, okay? It’s all lies. I don’t own Kingdom Hearts, I don’t know anyone who owns Kingdom Hearts, and I am not affiliated with anyone who is affiliated with anyone who owns Kingdom Hearts. I think that about covers it.
Author’s Note: It should go without saying, because I’m sure you all know what the end of the last chapter meant, but I’ll say it anyway. Welcome to the Deep Dive story arc. I know a lot of you have been waiting for it, so sit back, relax, and enjoy.
Riku knew he must have been crazy. His heart ached whenever he looked at Cloud, but something was calling him, urging him away from Hollow Bastion. He wasn’t supposed to be here anymore. The time for fun and games had gone. With it went the time to enjoy Cloud. He could no longer ignore the darkness in his heart that throbbed and ached-the darkness that begged to take over. Things needed to be finished. There were loose ends to tie up, and though he wanted to stay forever, Cloud was right. They didn’t need the darkness hanging over them. They didn’t need it tainting their relationship. While Riku would never regret opening the door to the heart of Destiny Islands because it had taught him so much about himself, made him stronger, and brought him to Cloud, he started this mess. He needed to finish it.
Besides Ansem, there was the gap in his memories. He felt empty and alone as he struggled to fill the hole. Who was this boy that had caused him such anger only months ago? Why couldn’t he remember him? Something happened in Castle Oblivion, something to do with this person, but Riku couldn’t grasp what it was. Everything since the darkness intertwined with this boy, but he couldn’t remember his name. Couldn’t picture his face. Couldn’t recall why he’d done so many stupid things over this kid that he was sure had been his best friend. Riku hated that above all else, he felt like a bad friend for forgetting him. A good friend would have remembered, wouldn’t have allowed this empty space to take his place.
“Heading out?” said Cloud as Riku pulled on his jacked.
His throat felt tight as he turned.
“Yep.”
Cloud smiled.
“See you tonight.”
Riku paused, hung his head, and then he crossed back to Cloud. He placed a kiss on his cheek and stepped back.
“I love you.”
“Love you, too, babe.”
Riku pulled the coat collar around his neck, turned, and left the house. He felt dirty in a way. Deceitful. Sneaky. Cloud thought he was going to Merlin’s. Leon thought he was going to fight Heartless down in the Dark Depths. He let them believe he’d be back tonight.
Riku hated the way he deceived Cloud, but he had to leave. He had to do this, and Cloud was quick to say he worried too much. He wouldn’t understand how it felt to be pulled away even though Riku didn’t want to go. He’d insist on coming, and Riku couldn’t do that to him. Couldn’t distract him from Sephiroth any longer. If he told Leon, Cloud would be hurt, and everyone would know by the time Riku made it to the bailey, because while Leon could keep a secret, he held no qualms about spilling them when he thought it was for the best.
He crossed the borough, passed through the bailey, and once he made his way down to the Crystal Fissure, assured that no one had caught on and followed, he reached into his pocket. Finding the cell phone, he took a deep breath and turned his face to the sky. He reached his hand out, and his heart pulled as the dark portal opened.
~*~
The smell of darkness, the way it tasted in his mouth, was more potent than Riku remembered. It overwhelmed him-the acrid stench straining through his nostrils. The pitch black blinded his eyes. His mouth felt foul, devoid of the harsh, cigarette taste he was accustomed to. His heart thumped against his chest.
He had no clear destination in mind. More than once, the urge to turn around and run back to Hollow Bastion into Cloud’s arms almost overtook him. He pushed on. His fingers itched toward his pocket, but his feet carried him forward, closer to the unyielding tug.
Cloud refused to leave his mind. Riku surmised this was fair considering the way he’d left. His face, the sound of his voice latched onto his senses. Riku couldn’t let go. As it always was in these passages of darkness, time seemed to stand still. It had been so long since Riku felt this weightlessness of time, when he couldn’t gauge how long his feet had carried him, but he supposed it couldn’t have been long. Cloud was bound to call the second he realized Riku was missing. He dreaded the conversation, but there was nothing to be done about it now. He only hoped Cloud would understand. If he didn’t . . . well, Riku didn’t want to think about that.
The pull became stronger, more powerful with every step he took. He half-expected Ansem to appear from the shadows or his heart to succumb as the lingering piece screamed through his body and rushed through his veins. Maybe it already had. He couldn’t tell the difference. Maybe he was back in the realm of darkness, behind the door again, gone from the outside world forever. Maybe that’s all these passages were, and as Riku’s senses slipped farther away, became faint, he took comfort in the pressure of his feet against the ground, and the confidence it brought that at the very least he still had a body.
“I’ve been waiting for you.”
The voice cut through the dark. Riku spun, searching for the source. He waited for Ansem to show himself, confirming his fears, but when a figure appeared before him, it was DiZ. Riku stared, and an annoyance he hadn’t expected to obtain in a portal of darkness itched across his skin.
“You again. So it was you who called me from Hollow Bastion?”
“Called you?” DiZ laughed. “I did nothing of the sort. Maybe you just knew it was time to leave.”
“You said you’ve been waiting for me.”
“I anticipated your arrival. Felt your approach. I see you’ve parted ways with the king.”
“A piece of Ansem is still lingering in my heart. I have to face it on my own if I want to defeat it.”
“You expected to face Ansem, did you?”
Riku lifted his chin. This guy could crawl under his skin with an ease that was in and of itself irritating.
“Yeah, I did. So what are you doing here? Got a bunch of choices for me to make?”
“Yes, there is a choice I want you to make, but there is some explaining that goes along with it. Will you listen?”
“Asking me if I’ll listen is a choice.”
“All right. Two, then.”
Riku glared. He crossed his arms and looked away.
“I’d say I don’t have a choice, but you really aren’t that kind of guy.”
DiZ smiled. It was creepy.
“You haven’t lost your determination. That’s good.”
“Get on with it already. Tell me your little story and give my choice so I can get this over with.”
“Very well. You have holes in your memory. Am I correct?”
Riku started. He turned his face toward DiZ.
“How do you know that?”
“The events in Castle Oblivion led to those holes. You have a friend very dear to you that’s gone away, and it is his memory you can’t recall. The Keyblade master.”
“Yeah . . . That’s right. So what about it?”
“His name is Sora. Do you remember Naminé? Organization XIII used her to defile Sora’s memories. To regain them, he had to go to sleep while she rearranged the chains in his heart. She offered the same services to you-to lock away the darkness in your heart.”
“I remember her. It sounds familiar, but like it happened so long ago that it’s hardly there anymore. What does this have to do with me?”
“To gain your memories back and for Sora to awaken, the restoration process must be completed, but Naminé has encountered some setbacks in the procedure. Sora’s heart is not responding.”
Riku couldn’t put words to the emotions that spread through him. Fear, hopeless, desperation. They were all good choices, but nothing fit. Nothing was close enough to the emptiness that sank in his heart at the words. Sora. Sora was his name, and Riku had loved him at one time. Still loved him like a brother, and wanted desperately to know he was safe, to see him again. DiZ continued.
“You’ve met members of Organization XIII, and they’ve been sly about revealing their identities to you. They are a group of powerful Nobodies. What their purpose is, I have yet to discover.”
“Nobodies?”
“Have you ever wondered what happens to the remaining shell when a Heartless is born?”
“I . . . I hadn’t really considered it.”
“Sometimes when someone with a strong heart loses itself to the Heartless, the empty shell left behind begins to act on its own. These beings are called Nobodies-an empty vessel that continues even after the heart is gone. They are far more dangerous than the Heartless because of their abilities to think, strategize-and Organization XIII is comprised of the most powerful Nobodies.”
“Does the King know about this?”
“I believe he’s starting to suspect. They’ve started to appear in Hollow Bastion. If he doesn’t know yet, it’s only a matter of time.”
“What does this have to do with Sora?”
“The Nobodies of Organization XIII are empty shells without hearts. They lured Sora to Castle Oblivion, intent on using him to achieve their goals. For whatever reason he is not waking, I am sure it has to do with member thirteen-a boy by the name of Roxas.”
“Why would you say that?”
“Roxas fights with two Keyblades. As you should understand by now, the Keyblade chooses it’s master based on how strong and true a heart may be. A Nobody should not be capable of wielding a Keyblade.”
“So this Roxas . . . he might be the reason Sora isn’t responding?”
“I am certain that if Roxas could be isolated from the Organization, we can discover what’s keeping Sora from responding, and find a way to help him awaken.”
“So where is this Roxas, and why don’t you get him yourself?”
“Of his whereabouts, I am uncertain. As for why I don’t retrieve him myself . . .” DiZ chuckled. Riku’s glare returned. “I hardly have the skill to go against one Keyblade, much less two. I want you to find Roxas, and bring him to me.”
“And say I do this? Where would I find you?”
“I have a mansion in Twilight Town. You’ll find me there.”
“Twilight Town? Is that a world?”
“Yes. Northeast of Hollow Bastion.”
“And this will help Sora wake up?”
“I’m almost certain.”
Riku didn’t know how to go about finding Roxas, but that hadn’t stopped him while searching for Sora all those months ago when he first got on the Gummi ship with Cloud. Almost wasn’t a concept that Riku often found comforting, and usually wasn’t good enough. The emptiness, however . . . The gaping hole in his memory was too large. Sora’s name was there now because DiZ had spoken it, but his face remained fuzzy. Even their relationship, their encounters were lost. He needed to fill those holes, and almost was going to have to suffice.
Riku lifted his head.
“I’ll do it.”
( Prompt Table) for previous installments. 043/100 Complete.
Fandom: Kingdom Hearts
Claim: Cloud/Riku
Theme: [042.] Heartless
Word Count: 2,955
Rating: Probably R for language. Usually is.
Summary: Things are starting to happen again.
Disclaimer: I wish, okay? It’s all lies. I don’t own Kingdom Hearts, I don’t know anyone who owns Kingdom Hearts, and I am not affiliated with anyone who is affiliated with anyone who owns Kingdom Hearts. I think that about covers it.
Author’s Note: You have Jediempress to thank for this chapter coming as soon as it did. She has made me eager to get Sora back in this story, and there’s a lot to do before that happens.
“Things are starting to happen again.”
Pain ebbed through the taut muscles in Cloud’s back, arms, and legs. His right arm extended across his chest as his fingers worked at the knots in his left shoulder. He had been in a daze-in one of those brooding moods that prompted taunts from Leon, a swift kick in the ass from Cid, and one of Aerith’s pearls of hidden wisdom. He dreaded the following day with all the work needed done on excavating the lower entrance to the castle. Merlin-in his overexcited desire to help with everything-now tried to assist with the defense system. Since Tifa departed three days ago, Cloud and Mickey were left with the entirety of the grunt work, and Cloud was not happy about it.
Cloud listened as Riku recounted the horrors of his day. For once, he was grateful for his task, because although it was hard on his body, Riku sounded more tired, wearier. The defense system was progressing as expected, but something was screwing with the system, causing blockage on the town grid and interfering with setup. Leon managed to find another system as the source of interruption, but Riku wasn’t able to break into it. Merlin tried his magic, which prompted an argument between Cid and the old wizard. Leon got so frustrated after repeated failed attempts that he drew his Gunblade against it, and Riku had to step in before Leon destroyed the equipment.
It was silent for some time after Riku finished. He dressed for bed as Cloud sank back into his reverie. His eyes were on Riku, and though he watched as Riku brushed his hair, his mind was elsewhere. At least it had been until Riku’s voice cut through the quiet.
“Things are starting to happen again.”
Cloud brought his arm down and rested it in his lap. He rotated his body to face Riku and frowned as he caught sight of his boyfriend’s face. Riku’s eyes were downcast and his mouth was set tight, lips pressed together, almost pursed. When Cloud first met Riku, it was his eyes that drew him in. They were always full of emotion-the window to his heart. The distance and depression he read in the aquamarine settled heavy in his conscious.
“What do you mean?” said Cloud.
Riku shrugged. He set the brush on the dresser and crossed the room. Dropping beside Cloud, his fingers fumbled together. His shoulder rolled forward, hunched over. Riku’s eyes stared at the floor, and though the lengths of their thighs brushed together, Riku remained drawn into himself. The gap Cloud felt between them was enormous.
“Are you still on about things not staying the way they are now?” said Cloud.
“I don’t want to be away from you again. It wasn’t great before, but it wasn’t horrible because . . . Well, I guess ‘cause I was used to it. Now . . . I know what it’s like to be with you all the time. Live with you, and . . . I just don’t want it to end.”
“You shouldn’t be so worried about things. You have a plan. When the time comes, you’re going to help the person no one remembers, and then you’re going to defeat Organization XIII. It’ll only be for a little while, and then we can be together like this again, only it’ll be better because we won’t have the darkness hanging over us.”
“I just don’t know . . .”
Riku sighed.
“You just don’t know what?”
“I don’t know if I should be sitting here waiting. The darkness in my heart-that piece of Ansem . . . it isn’t going away. I don’t want us to be apart, but . . . You’re right, you know? If I don’t end this . . . Things can be better than what we have right now, but it means defeating Ansem, and you have to finish Sephiroth.”
“I know that, babe. That’s what I’m saying. And once that’s all finished, we’ll be together again, and it will be better than it is now. We don’t need the darkness in what we have together.”
“I know that.”
“You’re over thinking. Even if we’re apart, we’ll still see each other. And you have your phone again. We’ll talk all the time. Then we can finish things and really be together without worrying about when things are going to fall to shit again.”
Riku opened his mouth, caught his breath, shook his head, and then his mouth closed again. The depression faded a little from his eyes. In its place was the same determination he’d seen in Riku, unyielding, no matter how much hesitation may have swam behind it. Cloud smiled. For all they had gone through-together as a couple and separately as people-Riku still had the fire in him that grabbed Cloud’s attention from the start. He brushed the back of his hand against Riku’s wrist.
“Don’t worry so much. Whatever happens happens. And you’ll always have me here to be your stability.”
“Cloud, I want you to know that I love you. No matter what happens or where I go . . . I just love you, okay?”
Cloud nodded.
“Yeah, sure. I love you, too.”
~*~
Riku remained sullen over the course of the next few days. Cloud wanted to say something, wished he could do anything to make Riku cheer up, but he had learned long ago that they were similar people. When Riku was ready to talk more about what he was feeling, he’d come to Cloud, but until then it was best not to pry. He had to let Riku figure things out on his own. It didn’t stop the ache in his heart when he caught Riku’s eye. There was a sadness there that mingled with the fire, and Cloud wanted nothing more than to hold him and make the pain go away.
They had never been big at cuddling. Sure, Riku tended to use Cloud’s body as a pillow, and there were nights that when they lay down to sleep, Riku would press his back against Cloud’s chest and he’d bring an arm around Riku’s waist to hold him there. More often than not, Riku sprawled across his half of the bed. They rarely held hands. When they sat together, Cloud draped an arm over Riku, and Riku might have dropped his hand to Cloud’s knee, but the contact was always relaxed. It might have been the way he’d sit with Aerith or Tifa if the mood was right.
They had never been big at talking about their feelings. Sure, there were times when everything fell apart, and all the bottled emotions came spilling out, but the said feelings tended to relate to the darkness. When there was a big enough concern, they had discussions about them. They made sure to say “I love you” everyday just in case, but there were no mushy conversations. Chances were that if there wasn’t a raging war between dark and light, and the Heartless weren’t such a big problem, they wouldn’t even get that far. More often than not, talks about their relationship led to banter, sexual innuendos, and ended in a good fuck.
The lack of poetic romance to their relationship had never bothered Cloud. He never saw a reason to bring Riku flowers or chocolates. Dancing sticky and sweaty at a club on New Year’s Eve beat slow dancing under the moonlight any day. One of the things he loved most about Riku was that there was never a need to whisper sweet nothings to him. He need only say what he meant, and sometimes a simple pat on the shoulder was all Riku wanted. Maybe Riku tended to bring him breakfast in bed, but he had ulterior motives. There was nothing sweet about it.
As the days passed, though, and Riku drew farther away, Cloud wished they were more affectionate. Physical contact between them had always been casual, almost natural. It would be weird and out of place to hug Riku when he was withdrawn. Hugs were only warranted when Riku was an emotional mess, ready to talk, and in the middle of a breakdown. Cloud wanted to pull Riku to him at night and tell him how beautiful he was, wanted to make sure Riku knew just how much he meant to him. He wanted to tell Riku how lost he’d be without him, but professions such as these would be even stranger than hugs. It was more likely that Riku would panic, assured that Cloud was about to break up with him rather than assuage his insecurities.
Ansem was getting to him; it was in his voice. To Cloud, it seemed like eons ago when he sat on the balcony at the hotel in Thebes, spending hours on the phone listening to Riku. All that time, however, had made Cloud’s hearing acute to the changes in Riku’s voice. He had always known when it was an uneventful day, whether Riku was down or not, if he’d had an encounter with Sora before Riku ever said anything. The way he spoke now was so familiar that Cloud felt his heart breaking; it was the same way he spoke every time Maleficent bestowed him with another “gift” of darkness. The way Riku spoke when he feared losing his heart.
“Hello? Cloud? Cloud!”
Cloud blinked. He raised his head to find Leon staring at him. Where did he come from?
“Hey.”
“What were you so lost in thought about?”
“Hm?”
“You’ve been sitting there for almost an hour now. It’s starting to creep me out.”
Cloud frowned.
“What time is it?”
“Almost ten. Riku’s getting ready for bed.”
“Oh.”
Cloud nodded. Leon frowned, rounded the counter, and sat opposite from him. He lit up a cigarette and brought it to his lips.
“You shouldn’t think so much. You’re going to hurt yourself.”
A weak laugh escaped him. Leon shook his head.
“Really, Cloud . . . What’s up?”
“Hm . . . nothing, really. Just . . . I don’t know. I’ve been spacing. So how did things go today?”
Leon raised an eyebrow. He considered Cloud for a moment, took a drag, and shrugged.
“Same as usual. We got the defense system working, but we still can’t break into the other system, and I still can’t figure out where it’s coming from. Did you hear about the Heartless problem?”
“There’s a Heartless problem?”
“Yeah. Around the castle on the other side from where you’re working down by the Dark Depths. The Heartless keep multiplying, and we can’t get the system out there yet. The other system’s interfering with it. Their numbers are growing faster than we can keep up with it, and there are these other creatures . . . these things . . . they look like aliens wearing white jumpsuits. You should see ‘em walk, too. It’s like they’re made of rubber. Cid thinks they’re another kind of Heartless, but I’ve never seen anything like them before.”
Cloud frowned.
“Things are starting to happen again.”
“That’s what Riku said.” Leon paused and rolled his cigarette in the ashtray. “He’s worried, but you know that, don’t you?”
Cloud shrugged.
“He’s been distant for a few days now.”
“I know. It really started right after the Heartless thing happened.”
“He’s counting down.”
“What?”
“Things are starting to happen again. That’s what he said. He’s counting down until it’s time to leave again. The time’s coming and he knows it.”
“Cloud . . .”
“Probably a Keyblade master thing. He just . . . He just knows.”
Leon dropped his head and laughed.
“You know . . . I know you’re right, but I don’t want you to be.”
Cloud raised his eyebrows.
“You?”
“Yeah. Riku’s . . . Riku’s one of us now. I’m used to having him around. He’s . . . I don’t know. I guess he’s kind of like the little brother I never had. Thinking of him going away again . . . fighting to get rid of that piece of Ansem in his heart . . . I guess I see a lot of you in him. I still hate it when you leave, and I pray every time that you’ll finish it and come back.”
“Squall . . .”
“We’re a family, you know. We never had anyone else but each other. Riku’s part of this now, too. I don’t want anything to happen to either one of you. I know I have everyone else, but when you both leave again . . . I don’t know. I guess it’s going to be just me again.”
Cloud bit his lip. He regarded Leon, studying his face. His head hung.
“You have Aerith, Yuffie . . .”
“They have each other. Cid . . . Cid’s always been Cid on his own or not. Tifa’s got Vincent and the kids. It was always you, me, and Zack. Now it’s you, me, and Riku. I hope you know that, Cloud. I hope you know that Riku’s one of us. Breaking up isn’t an option anymore.”
“Guess it’s a good thing I have no intentions of that ever happening.”
Leon nodded.
“That it is.”
“Why is the third person in our group always my boyfriend?”
Leon smiled.
“Cause you made it that way, I guess. It’s a good thing you and Reno weren’t serious. I don’t think I’d have liked him in our group.”
Cloud laughed.
“Oh, I can just imagine you and Reno trying to inhabit the same space. You’d kill him in days.”
“I don’t know how you put up with him.”
“Easily. We didn’t talk much.”
“Slut.”
“Leon . . . I’m sorry about all of this. For leaving Hollow Bastion. What happened with Zack. Sephiroth. I . . . I didn’t mean . . .” Cloud took a deep breath. “I didn’t mean to isolate you.”
Leon’s lips twitched. He shrugged.
“Hey, shit happens. Don’t go getting all sentimental on me.”
“You started it.”
“You aren’t supposed to point that out, Strife. Don’t you remember how things work around here? I couldn’t care less if something happens to you. I’m just worried about Riku. You know how I like to look at him.”
Cloud crossed his arms over his chest. His lips twitched into a smile.
“Bastard.”
Leon smirked.
“I try.”
~*~
Cloud hated the cold, hated the wind. It was annoying the way it whipped at his hair, dried his skin, chapped his lips. His nose felt large on his face; the sweat and heat from labor against the biting January cold had blocked his sinuses. He grunted as his shovel sank into the pile of rocks, strained, and whipped it to the side.
“Cloud!”
He set his shovel down, wiped the sweat from his face, and turned toward the source. Leon rushed toward him, panting, his brunette locks whipping in the wind. He stopped before Cloud and looked around.
“Walkway’s coming along,” said Leon.
“Yeah it is. So what’s up?”
“Have you seen Riku?”
“Not since he left for Merlin’s this morning. Why? What’s up?”
Leon frowned.
“Merlin’s? Riku was going to take his Keyblade out to the Dark Depths today and work on the Heartless problem.”
“Oh, well . . . I don’t know. But, no. Haven’t seen him since this morning. Got a problem?”
“The computer’s freaking out, and I can’t figure out what’s wrong with it. I went down to get him, but he wasn’t there, and he wasn’t at the house, so I thought he might be with you.”
It took several seconds for the information to process. Cloud stared at Leon, searching for some sign that this was a misguided, mean-spirited joke. His heart sank. Leon’s face turned expressionless.
“Riku’s missing,” said Leon.
Cloud bit his lip. He turned his face from Leon and caught King Mickey’s eye. Mickey frowned and nodded.
“No,” said Cloud. “Riku’s gone.”
“The piece of Ansem in his heart?”
“It’s been bothering him.”
Leon frowned. He stepped forward and took the shovel.
“Go.”
“What?”
“I think he’s telling you to go after him,” said Mickey.
Cloud shook his head.
“No. He . . . he needs to do this on his own. It’s what he wants. I understand. Sephiroth . . .”
“Go find him,” said Leon. “You don’t have to bring him back here, but go.”
“He shouldn’t have to go through this alone,” said Mickey.
“You’re the one he trusts.”
Cloud’s mouth fell open to respond. He looked between them.
“If he wanted that he’d have asked me to come.”
“He didn’t want things to end, Cloud,” said Leon. “He’s been dreading the change. He’s scared of losing you. He’s trying to make it easier on himself by just taking off, but he needs you. Aren’t you the one who told me that you’re his stability?”
“Yeah, but . . .”
“Even if it’s not what he wants, it’s what he needs.”
“I wouldn’t know where to start . . . I mean, Hollow Bastion is just about the worst place for him. If I was going to look anywhere, I’d start in the castle, but I know he isn’t going to be there.”
Leon shrugged.
“Do you know what I’d do if I were you?”
Cloud looked up.
“Hm?”
“I’d get on my Gummi ship, give him a call, and lie my ass off about understanding and supporting his decision to do this alone until he told me where he was.”
Cloud smirked.
“Sneaky bastard.”
“I bet you a month’s worth of hard labor it works.”
Cloud raised his eyebrows.
“You’re on.”
Title: Almost
Fandom: Kingdom Hearts
Claim: Cloud/Riku
Theme: [043.] Memory
Word Count: 1,877
Rating: PG
Summary: For Riku, almost always fell short, but this time it had to be enough.
Disclaimer: I wish, okay? It’s all lies. I don’t own Kingdom Hearts, I don’t know anyone who owns Kingdom Hearts, and I am not affiliated with anyone who is affiliated with anyone who owns Kingdom Hearts. I think that about covers it.
Author’s Note: It should go without saying, because I’m sure you all know what the end of the last chapter meant, but I’ll say it anyway. Welcome to the Deep Dive story arc. I know a lot of you have been waiting for it, so sit back, relax, and enjoy.
Riku knew he must have been crazy. His heart ached whenever he looked at Cloud, but something was calling him, urging him away from Hollow Bastion. He wasn’t supposed to be here anymore. The time for fun and games had gone. With it went the time to enjoy Cloud. He could no longer ignore the darkness in his heart that throbbed and ached-the darkness that begged to take over. Things needed to be finished. There were loose ends to tie up, and though he wanted to stay forever, Cloud was right. They didn’t need the darkness hanging over them. They didn’t need it tainting their relationship. While Riku would never regret opening the door to the heart of Destiny Islands because it had taught him so much about himself, made him stronger, and brought him to Cloud, he started this mess. He needed to finish it.
Besides Ansem, there was the gap in his memories. He felt empty and alone as he struggled to fill the hole. Who was this boy that had caused him such anger only months ago? Why couldn’t he remember him? Something happened in Castle Oblivion, something to do with this person, but Riku couldn’t grasp what it was. Everything since the darkness intertwined with this boy, but he couldn’t remember his name. Couldn’t picture his face. Couldn’t recall why he’d done so many stupid things over this kid that he was sure had been his best friend. Riku hated that above all else, he felt like a bad friend for forgetting him. A good friend would have remembered, wouldn’t have allowed this empty space to take his place.
“Heading out?” said Cloud as Riku pulled on his jacked.
His throat felt tight as he turned.
“Yep.”
Cloud smiled.
“See you tonight.”
Riku paused, hung his head, and then he crossed back to Cloud. He placed a kiss on his cheek and stepped back.
“I love you.”
“Love you, too, babe.”
Riku pulled the coat collar around his neck, turned, and left the house. He felt dirty in a way. Deceitful. Sneaky. Cloud thought he was going to Merlin’s. Leon thought he was going to fight Heartless down in the Dark Depths. He let them believe he’d be back tonight.
Riku hated the way he deceived Cloud, but he had to leave. He had to do this, and Cloud was quick to say he worried too much. He wouldn’t understand how it felt to be pulled away even though Riku didn’t want to go. He’d insist on coming, and Riku couldn’t do that to him. Couldn’t distract him from Sephiroth any longer. If he told Leon, Cloud would be hurt, and everyone would know by the time Riku made it to the bailey, because while Leon could keep a secret, he held no qualms about spilling them when he thought it was for the best.
He crossed the borough, passed through the bailey, and once he made his way down to the Crystal Fissure, assured that no one had caught on and followed, he reached into his pocket. Finding the cell phone, he took a deep breath and turned his face to the sky. He reached his hand out, and his heart pulled as the dark portal opened.
~*~
The smell of darkness, the way it tasted in his mouth, was more potent than Riku remembered. It overwhelmed him-the acrid stench straining through his nostrils. The pitch black blinded his eyes. His mouth felt foul, devoid of the harsh, cigarette taste he was accustomed to. His heart thumped against his chest.
He had no clear destination in mind. More than once, the urge to turn around and run back to Hollow Bastion into Cloud’s arms almost overtook him. He pushed on. His fingers itched toward his pocket, but his feet carried him forward, closer to the unyielding tug.
Cloud refused to leave his mind. Riku surmised this was fair considering the way he’d left. His face, the sound of his voice latched onto his senses. Riku couldn’t let go. As it always was in these passages of darkness, time seemed to stand still. It had been so long since Riku felt this weightlessness of time, when he couldn’t gauge how long his feet had carried him, but he supposed it couldn’t have been long. Cloud was bound to call the second he realized Riku was missing. He dreaded the conversation, but there was nothing to be done about it now. He only hoped Cloud would understand. If he didn’t . . . well, Riku didn’t want to think about that.
The pull became stronger, more powerful with every step he took. He half-expected Ansem to appear from the shadows or his heart to succumb as the lingering piece screamed through his body and rushed through his veins. Maybe it already had. He couldn’t tell the difference. Maybe he was back in the realm of darkness, behind the door again, gone from the outside world forever. Maybe that’s all these passages were, and as Riku’s senses slipped farther away, became faint, he took comfort in the pressure of his feet against the ground, and the confidence it brought that at the very least he still had a body.
“I’ve been waiting for you.”
The voice cut through the dark. Riku spun, searching for the source. He waited for Ansem to show himself, confirming his fears, but when a figure appeared before him, it was DiZ. Riku stared, and an annoyance he hadn’t expected to obtain in a portal of darkness itched across his skin.
“You again. So it was you who called me from Hollow Bastion?”
“Called you?” DiZ laughed. “I did nothing of the sort. Maybe you just knew it was time to leave.”
“You said you’ve been waiting for me.”
“I anticipated your arrival. Felt your approach. I see you’ve parted ways with the king.”
“A piece of Ansem is still lingering in my heart. I have to face it on my own if I want to defeat it.”
“You expected to face Ansem, did you?”
Riku lifted his chin. This guy could crawl under his skin with an ease that was in and of itself irritating.
“Yeah, I did. So what are you doing here? Got a bunch of choices for me to make?”
“Yes, there is a choice I want you to make, but there is some explaining that goes along with it. Will you listen?”
“Asking me if I’ll listen is a choice.”
“All right. Two, then.”
Riku glared. He crossed his arms and looked away.
“I’d say I don’t have a choice, but you really aren’t that kind of guy.”
DiZ smiled. It was creepy.
“You haven’t lost your determination. That’s good.”
“Get on with it already. Tell me your little story and give my choice so I can get this over with.”
“Very well. You have holes in your memory. Am I correct?”
Riku started. He turned his face toward DiZ.
“How do you know that?”
“The events in Castle Oblivion led to those holes. You have a friend very dear to you that’s gone away, and it is his memory you can’t recall. The Keyblade master.”
“Yeah . . . That’s right. So what about it?”
“His name is Sora. Do you remember Naminé? Organization XIII used her to defile Sora’s memories. To regain them, he had to go to sleep while she rearranged the chains in his heart. She offered the same services to you-to lock away the darkness in your heart.”
“I remember her. It sounds familiar, but like it happened so long ago that it’s hardly there anymore. What does this have to do with me?”
“To gain your memories back and for Sora to awaken, the restoration process must be completed, but Naminé has encountered some setbacks in the procedure. Sora’s heart is not responding.”
Riku couldn’t put words to the emotions that spread through him. Fear, hopeless, desperation. They were all good choices, but nothing fit. Nothing was close enough to the emptiness that sank in his heart at the words. Sora. Sora was his name, and Riku had loved him at one time. Still loved him like a brother, and wanted desperately to know he was safe, to see him again. DiZ continued.
“You’ve met members of Organization XIII, and they’ve been sly about revealing their identities to you. They are a group of powerful Nobodies. What their purpose is, I have yet to discover.”
“Nobodies?”
“Have you ever wondered what happens to the remaining shell when a Heartless is born?”
“I . . . I hadn’t really considered it.”
“Sometimes when someone with a strong heart loses itself to the Heartless, the empty shell left behind begins to act on its own. These beings are called Nobodies-an empty vessel that continues even after the heart is gone. They are far more dangerous than the Heartless because of their abilities to think, strategize-and Organization XIII is comprised of the most powerful Nobodies.”
“Does the King know about this?”
“I believe he’s starting to suspect. They’ve started to appear in Hollow Bastion. If he doesn’t know yet, it’s only a matter of time.”
“What does this have to do with Sora?”
“The Nobodies of Organization XIII are empty shells without hearts. They lured Sora to Castle Oblivion, intent on using him to achieve their goals. For whatever reason he is not waking, I am sure it has to do with member thirteen-a boy by the name of Roxas.”
“Why would you say that?”
“Roxas fights with two Keyblades. As you should understand by now, the Keyblade chooses it’s master based on how strong and true a heart may be. A Nobody should not be capable of wielding a Keyblade.”
“So this Roxas . . . he might be the reason Sora isn’t responding?”
“I am certain that if Roxas could be isolated from the Organization, we can discover what’s keeping Sora from responding, and find a way to help him awaken.”
“So where is this Roxas, and why don’t you get him yourself?”
“Of his whereabouts, I am uncertain. As for why I don’t retrieve him myself . . .” DiZ chuckled. Riku’s glare returned. “I hardly have the skill to go against one Keyblade, much less two. I want you to find Roxas, and bring him to me.”
“And say I do this? Where would I find you?”
“I have a mansion in Twilight Town. You’ll find me there.”
“Twilight Town? Is that a world?”
“Yes. Northeast of Hollow Bastion.”
“And this will help Sora wake up?”
“I’m almost certain.”
Riku didn’t know how to go about finding Roxas, but that hadn’t stopped him while searching for Sora all those months ago when he first got on the Gummi ship with Cloud. Almost wasn’t a concept that Riku often found comforting, and usually wasn’t good enough. The emptiness, however . . . The gaping hole in his memory was too large. Sora’s name was there now because DiZ had spoken it, but his face remained fuzzy. Even their relationship, their encounters were lost. He needed to fill those holes, and almost was going to have to suffice.
Riku lifted his head.
“I’ll do it.”
( Prompt Table) for previous installments. 043/100 Complete.