Time in a bottle

[dirk__gently]

Today the heavyset man in the shabby suit and unmistakable hat pinpoints in with a small stack of crates. He's on the short side, so he climbs up on one for a better vantage point to address the nexus from.

Comments

[cache_of_spark]

Despite being dubious about the authenticity of the product, (they're just... jars, from the looks of things) Alec is definitely interested in the possibilities here.

"Would it be possible to get a demonstration on how it works, either on how to bottle the time or to safely operate the already bottled time?"

[dirk__gently]

They are, most of them, enchanted jars, but it does look like he just bought a bunch of glass jars in bulk.
"As simple as catch and release, I'm to understand. Open the lid, move to one the spots where the temporal instability seems to be at it's thickest..." He picks up a jar, opens it, and gestures to a spot where the Nexus seems to have fizzled into a small zone of some steampunk factory, "And scoop. Screw the lid on and there you have it. Unscrew the lid or break the jar at your own risk, because that will release it, but as long as the lid's screwed on tight the time will be contained safely inside."

[cache_of_spark]

"Hrm..." Alec rubs his chin, considering. In the event that these are duds or a hoax, he doesn't really want to risk getting close to a big batch of time wonkiness.

"How much would you be willing to sell a filled jar for?

[dirk__gently]

"I don't have any yet, but if you check back in a while I might. Make me an offer?" He doesn't want to just wander away from his merchandise to fill some, and he doesn't fancy getting that close either.

[pimpmymeowclops]

A small, fuzzy green person wearing a pointy hat approaches and taps one of the jars with the staff she's carrying. Tink, tink!

"Assuming I believe you, what are the chances of leakage or contamination?"

[dirk__gently]

"Madame, I have no reason for deceit in this matter, and as I've said you may have the loan of a jar for the mere experience of it for free, the added bonus being that the more spare time is captured, the more the temporal fluctuations should level out, thus returning us all to the comparative state of normality. Leakage and contamination should not be a problem. You're trusting in the craftsmanship of a god." Not that Thor is exactly known for his skill or subtlety.

[pimpmymeowclops]

"I just don't want to put it on the shelf next to my tomatoes, have time leak all over them, and then have tomato plants growing out of my wall."

To be honest, it wouldn't alter the appearance of her shack for the worse any, but a girl does have to consider housekeeping sometimes.

"All right, I feel like a gambler today, I'll give you a dubloon for one." She reaches into a pocket and pulls out a large coppery coin.

[dirk__gently]

"I can understand the reservations, but the containment should be very long-term, provided you screw the lid on tight and don't crack or break the jar. You might put it somewhere padded if you're worried about earthquakes, pets, or children. Provided you want the children to remain children..." He winks and offers her a jar with one hand, taking the dubloon in the other. He should be able to spend it somewhere in the Nexus, or exchange it.

[sarah_branigan]

OMG Dirk! Sarah is there, rather suddenly and looking somewhat frazzled around the edges. She'd normally be reluctant to try a... glass jar? But she knows Dirk. Sort of. He seems very smart, anyway.

And man, she really wishes she didn't make him sing earlier. But she did send him muffins! Muffins solve all problems, right? "Would one of these work on someone who has shifted on his own personal timeline?"

[dirk__gently]

Dirk is incredibly intelligent, but he's also something of a huckster at heart.
The muffins were worth it, and he doesn't embarrass easy. It's because of the muffins he gives her an honest answer. "I'm afraid I couldn't say with any certainty. It may, but I can't guarantee it. I suppose... you could try capturing time out of the air immediately around their person, and that might be effective if there's some miasma around them that's causing the temporary alteration. If I better understood how the temporal instability is working on people, I could give a better answer." He looks thoughtful. "Tell you what, I'll give you a couple of them to try in exchange for another batch of muffins? Blueberry?"

[sarah_branigan]

Sarah tries not to look disappointed, but Dirk's solution sounds risky at best. Still, she's willing to accept his offer. "Thank you, Dirk. Are you sure all you want is blueberry? I could make blueberry muffins in my sleep." She actually looks like she could use a little sleep. Or maybe a stiff drink. "Which god was it that helped you make these?"

[dirk__gently]

Not too risky, just not likely to work well. "Well, I'm open to other kinds. Or cake. Did you have something in mind?" He selects two jars for her, because she's nice and too trusting for her own good, so she deserves working jars. "Thor. Err... not the one that visits here, but the one from my own world, and I guess he got advice and help from some others of his pantheon." Poor woman, she looks worn out. "Was it someone close, who got caught up in this? You look like you could use a break..." Because Dirk would be happy to take her out for a drink and flirt with her.

[cjellibelly]

The pudgy Nexus newcomer waddles over and peers at the open crate of jars. "I've got a bob... Do they really work? If the safety zones operate by nullification then wouldn't it be easier to just apply those principles to a wider range?"

[dirk__gently]

Dirk blanches, shuts his eyes and counts to ten, then opens them again. Nope, it's still there. "Err... that would take more power than we have available. Shaddup and take one kid. Special today, free to the under..." He scrutinizes the boy while he hesitates, "Under fifteen's. Yeah." The jar he shoves at the boy is, of course, a dud.

[cjellibelly]

What a weird guy. "Right. You're just trying to get rid of me... Bet it doesn't work. I'll tell everyone you're a fraud." Dirk reminds Svlad of his father but with more hair and glasses.

[dirk__gently]

"You don't want to bother, trust me. Now shoo. G'wan. You got your jar." Dirk would be cringing if he realized how much he looks like his father.

[inthetower]

He eyes the jars. He's sick as a dog and loopy on meds and looks about ready to fall over and he still trudges out here because someone is selling an attempt at chronal vessels? Come. On. This snake oil scam died on his planet millennia ago.

[dirk__gently]

Some of the jars really do work. Just not all of them, and they just may very well be prone to leak somewhere down the road. Using glass isn't the brightest idea either, since it breaks easy, and any crack in the seal of the lid will leak, too.
Still. At least some of them work.
At the moment.

[inthetower]

He picks one up to look at it more closely.

"Hmmmm..."

[dirk__gently]

"Just... trying to help out. I thought if the spare time was collected and there was less of it wandering about, that would make things easier on all of us." Dirk smiles, but he's starting to sweat.