This is a great, promising beginning, and particularly intriguing with regard to your description of this place that seems just that bit too perfect, even down to the innkeeper who just assumes what these two grown men want is a suite with one king-sized bed.
It's beautifully written of course, and I particularly enjoy your Sam/Dean teasing and banter, which seems really in character. I also really like the little details about their relationship you've included.
The introduction of the effects of Dean's PTSD towards the end of this section sets us up for a story that we now see will deal with much more than just pie and great beer.
Thank you so much for the lovely comment, boo. I'm so happy that the first part worked for you in the way that I wanted: The lighthearted beginning with its suspiciously perfect setting was meant to crate a bit of mystery, and to move to the dramatic end of this introduction in order to put the story into gear. To show that it's more than pie and great beer, as you say, and while I adore those things, a 32,000 word story about them might have been a tad boring. ;)
And thank you so much for your help with this part especially. It totally would have blown without your input. *hugs*
Also, as to the diner: I know! I want to eat there, too! All part of the wish fulfillment. Hee.
I thought your fanfic was wonderful. Through the whole story, your descriptions are very well done. Hearing about all that food made me hungry, and your descriptions of the room were so good I could see it in my head
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Thank you so much for the amazing, awesome feedback. I'm sorry it's taken a few days to begin to respond; I just wanted to make sure that I had enough time set aside to do so properly. I really do appreciate not only your kind words, but also that you've taken the time to point out specifically what you liked and to give your thoughts on particular parts. This type of feedback is especially great because it helps me as a writer to gauge better what's working for them. And it also encourages me to write more!
Through the whole story, your descriptions are very well done.
This is wonderful to hear. It's something I struggled with a bit, in some spots over-describing and under-describing in others. My beta helped me with that a lot, and I think it's really going to help me flow better in future writings.
When Dean first sees the king size bed and has to stop and think about all the time he’d shared a bed with Sam before going to hell, I was hooked on the story.Yes! Everything up to that is basically just to introduce the setting and
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It's beautifully written of course, and I particularly enjoy your Sam/Dean teasing and banter, which seems really in character. I also really like the little details about their relationship you've included.
The introduction of the effects of Dean's PTSD towards the end of this section sets us up for a story that we now see will deal with much more than just pie and great beer.
Finally, I really want to eat at that diner!
Great job, boo. ♥
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And thank you so much for your help with this part especially. It totally would have blown without your input. *hugs*
Also, as to the diner: I know! I want to eat there, too! All part of the wish fulfillment. Hee.
Thank you, boo. ♥
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Through the whole story, your descriptions are very well done.
This is wonderful to hear. It's something I struggled with a bit, in some spots over-describing and under-describing in others. My beta helped me with that a lot, and I think it's really going to help me flow better in future writings.
When Dean first sees the king size bed and has to stop and think about all the time he’d shared a bed with Sam before going to hell, I was hooked on the story.Yes! Everything up to that is basically just to introduce the setting and ( ... )
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'are you kidding me? anyone else would be catatonic!'
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