Fic: What You Want
Title: What You Want
Author: dazzledfirestar
Character(s): Peter Parker/Bobby Drake/Jean Paul Beaubier, Clint Barton/Peter Parker, Johnny Storm/Peter Parker
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Oral sex, M/M, M/M/M, anal, voyeurism
Disclaimer: I do not own anything recognizable here. Marvel does. I do not make any money from this.
Author Note: This was written for the marvel_kink Meme. The original prompt was:
What if Mephisto had undone the Spider marriage by making Peter gay?
I was thinking people could do a series of snippets of his encounters with various male heroes as Peter keeps hooking up trying to find a guy who can fill the void left by Mary-Jane.
So I ran with it. There was a request to fit the Hulk in there... but no. Never. And I had to give Peter the happy ending he deserves. ;)
There wasn’t anything weird about it. Not at first anyway. Bobby had said something about being in town and how they should get together for a drink. Made sense, as far as Peter was concerned. It had been far too long since he’d seen Bobby and from the conversation so far, things seemed to be good in the X-Man’s life. Peter smiled and sipped his beer. “Sounds like he’s a great guy, but…” Peter bit his lip and picked at the label on the beer bottle. “Well, I thought you were straight.”
Bobby grinned a little. “That makes two of us.”
“So then…” Peter found himself in one of those rare moments when he couldn’t think of anything to say and his mouth decided not to run away with him. “Wow.”
Bobby shrugged and took another sip of his drink. “When its right, its right.”
“That’s a pretty wide sweeping statement there, Bobby.”
Brown eyes sparkled as he stared across the table. “Oh, come on. Are you telling me that if you met someone that had that… something about them, you’d turn it down because of the packaging?”
“No,” Peter answered honestly. “But that’s quite a leap to make.”
“Well, you’d know more about leaping than I would.”
Peter chuckled and checked his watch. “Wow, almost an hour, Drake.” He shook his head. “I was wondering how long you’d hold off on the shop talk.” Peter set down his beer and pointed at it. “That’s getting warm by the way.”
Bobby smiled and shook his head before dropping the temperature of Peter’s beer. “So, you wanna meet him?”
Peter’s brow crinkled for a moment. “Who?” He could have smacked himself for being so dense. “Oh, the love of your life? Yeah, I’d like to see what kind of guy would want to put up with you.”
“Well,” something different flashed through Bobby’s eyes and Peter couldn’t, or wouldn’t put a name to it. “He’s upstairs in our room.”
Okay, now Peter knew what he’d seen. He couldn’t actually believe it, but he’d seen it. “Umm…” He was sure he had to be misinterpreting something here. He had to be. It’d just been way too long since he’d gotten laid. That had to be it. He was panicking for nothing. After all, Bobby and this hunk of dream his was dating were all in love. Peter’s mind kept that in the forefront as he nodded. “Yeah, okay. So we’ll take the next round up then?”
“Sounds like a plan.” Bobby smiled behind his drink and that… thing that Peter had seen earlier showed itself again.
“Umm…” How did you ask a friend if he wanted you to sleep with him and his boyfriend? Better yet, how do you tell him that you weren’t entirely opposed to the idea? Assuming of course that this boyfriend was half as hot as Bobby made him sound… “So… what exactly do you guys do for fun?”
Bobby quirked an eyebrow at him before he laughed. “Something on your mind, Parker?”
“Well… yeah, actually. I mean you invite me up to meet the boyfriend… in your hotel room. How do I know you’re not going to try to take advantage of me?” He smiled, taking the edge off the words that he was sure, once they left his mouth, could be taken as an insult. Shit, he wasn’t handling this right. Okay, he tried to focus on the situation. Who would know how to handle this…? He thought for a moment before it came to him. What would Johnny do??
“Would you really mind?”
Peter’s jaw dropped and his brain shut down. Before it rebooted though, his mouth answered for him. “No, actually I wouldn’t.”
Bobby tossed back the rest of his drink and his grin widened. “Then let’s go.”
Peter didn’t hesitate; thinking that if he did, this would all just disappear and he’d wake up alone, and more than likely sticky in his own bed and he’d had quite enough of that. When they got in the elevator Peter felt his cheeks catch fire. “So, umm… what exactly did you and…”
“Jean-Paul.”
“Ah, yeah.” It occurred to Peter that he should know Bobby’s boyfriend’s name before they got to the room. “So what exactly do you guys have in mind here?”
“Honestly?” Bobby blushed too. Good. That was good. Peter didn’t want to be the only one blushing about this.
“Yeah, I think we’re past the point of dancing around this, don’t you?”
Bobby chuckled and leaned in. “I want to give you head while JP fucks me.”
The doors picked that moment to open. Peter stumbled after his friend and did his very best not to swallow his own tongue. As Bobby unlocked the hotel room door, Peter caught up. “So, just like that, huh?”
“Is that okay?”
A million thoughts ran through Peter’s head about whether this would fuck up their friendship or Bobby’s relationship with his boyfriend; about whether he could really handle something like this; about whether he was going to regret this as soon as it was done. None of that came out of his mouth though. “What guy in his right mind is going to turn down a blow job?” He could have smashed his head against the wall. Smooth, Parker… real smooth.
Things moved quickly once the door closed behind them. Bobby hadn’t mentioned that this fantastic new boyfriend was Northstar. Granted, Peter figured he should have put that together for himself, but his brain seemed to be refusing to keep up. He found himself wondering vaguely if everything moved this quickly when a speedster was involved. Or he wondered that until Bobby pulled on his fly. “Peter…”
He didn’t talk, and he was pretty proud of himself for that. He pulled off his clothes as quickly as he could, ignoring the appreciation in both of the other men’s gaze, and the blush that was taking over his face. Jean-Paul smiled. It bordered on a smirk, actually. “Très beau, mon ami.”
“Thanks.” Peter resisted the urge to pull the covers he was sitting on over his head. He let his eyes fall down to Bobby who he expected to see smiling up at him with that look of mischief from earlier. That wasn’t what he got. Bobby was licking his lips, eyes even darker than usual as he stared up at him. Peter’s mouth went dry as Bobby took him in his mouth.
If someone would ask later (and who would, because he wasn’t going to tell a soul about this!) he would never be able to recall details about that night. So much of it ended up as blurry images, the occasion snippet of the feel of Bobby’s mouth around him, or the way it felt when Jean Paul drove one of Bobby’s moans straight through both of them. He remembered all of them collapsing onto the bed in a tangle of limbs, sweaty, panting and sated, but feeling like something was off. Like something was missing. That was the moment he realized it. That was the moment he figured out what he wanted. Laying there, watching the two of them cuddled around each other when they thought he wasn’t looking, he saw what he wanted.
Peter wanted to fall in love.
~*~*~*~
“This wouldn’t be happening at all if you’d have manned up years ago!”
Peter rolled his eyes behind the mask. How many more times were they going to have this same fight? How many more times was he going to regret joining the Avengers? How many more times was the team just going to vacate the apartment and let him and Clint yell themselves raw at each other?
“It is not my fault that your ego can’t handle losing!”
“We shouldn’t be okay with losing to that nut job!”
“And if you were half the man you claimed to be, you shouldn’t be so ready to just kill someone!” His spider sense didn’t warn him, so he should have known he wasn’t in any real danger when Clint got a hold of his shoulders. He could have gotten out of the hold before he hit the wall too, but something told him that wouldn’t really help the situation. So they just stayed there, Clint holding him by the shoulders against the wall, and Peter staring back at him. He reached up and took his mask off. He wanted to be angrier about it. He really did. “You’re better than this, Barton and you fucking know it.”
For half a second, he saw something of the man he used to know in those steely blue eyes; something of the guy that, without a doubt back in the day could be counted on to be snaking and making jokes with him and Bobby and Johnny at any big meeting of superheroes. He took that as a good sign. When he spoke again, a fair bit of the anger from the moment before had drained out of Clint’s voice. “Things can’t stay like this.”
“Well yeah.” Peter couldn’t help the smile that crossed his face. “Eventually your arms are going to get tired of holding me up like this.”
He caught a flash of reactionary anger for a second before Clint laughed. He actually laughed. That was the best sign Peter had seen in months. “Can’t you ever take anything seriously?”
“I seem to remember a few people saying that to you way back when.”
“Okay, yeah. I can’t deny that.”
“So are you going to let me down or are we going to keep fighting with me on the wall?”
Clint smirked… not that angry, pissed off smirk that was becoming more and more common but that smirk Peter used to refer to as the ‘Hawkeye smirk’; the one he’d had before everything went to hell, and before Wanda had killed him… twice; the one that, if he’d been honest with himself back then, had made him a little weak in the knees. “I don’t know yet.”
“Well, you better make up your mind before everyone comes back and finds us in this kind of compromising position.” He’s got a wife/girlfriend/whatever he was calling Bobbi now. He’s straight…as far as you know. Don’t push your luck, Parker. Peter nearly shushed his inner monologue.
“Would you really mind?”
Peter’s brain stopped for a second. He flashed back to Bobby way back when, in the hotel bar. No way. No fucking way. “If I say no, are you going to get pissed off again?”
Clint made a show of thinking about it. “No.”
“Then, no. Not really, no.” Without really thinking about it, Peter kissed him. Full out, grabbed the back of Clint’s head and shoved his tongue down his throat kissed him. He’s going to punch me in the face for this.
Clint kissed him back. He actually full out kissed him back and Peter couldn’t help but moan about that. When they pulled back (and Clint let him down off the wall) they were both breathless. “What the hell was that?”
“Umm.. I… I didn’t… I just…”
“Peter?”
“Yeah?”
“Bobbi and I broke it off. Two weeks ago.”
“Oh.”
“Just thought you should know.” He smiled again and Peter’s heart rate picked up significantly. Yeah, that was the knee weakening smile he remembered. Clint pulled him closer and kissed him again and dragged him over to the couch. “Hold on…” He reached between the cushions and pulled out a half empty bottle of lube and a crushed pack of condoms. Peter’s brow crinkled for a moment. Why the hell…? “Umm… if you don’t want to d this…”
“Oh god! No… I… yeah! I want to! I just… who’s been…?”
“Do we really want to think about that right now?” Clint bent over him again, sucking on his neck and sending chills down Peter’s spine. Both their hands moved under their uniforms, pulling them off, moving over scars and flat planes of muscle. Time blurred when first one, then a second slick finger slid into him. It could have been minutes or hours and Peter couldn’t bring himself to care. When Clint added a third finger, Peter trembled. He could feel the hard length of Clint’s cock against his thigh and he moved forward on the couch, straddling Clint’s hips and bending to kiss him again. “You ready?” Clint’s eyes seemed strange… pupil blown so wide, he could barely make out the ring of steel blue around them.
“Yeah.” He groaned as Clint’s fingers slid from him. He reached forward, taking the lube and coating Clint’s length with it. The blonde’s eyes rolled back and a deep groan left his lips. The groan morphed into a full blown, wanton moan as Peter sank down on Clint’s cock. The blonde reached up, grabbing his hips.
“Fuck, Peter…” They set a nearly frantic rhythm; all the energy that had gone into screaming at each other early poured out as they fucked.
Again, time blurred. H.A.M.M.E.R. could have knocked the building down on them, and Peter was fairly sure that as long as they both got to finish, neither would actually care. When Clint wrapped his hand around Peter’s cock, Peter lost it. His head fell back and a far too loud cry escaped his lips as he came, spilling himself all over himself and Clint’s stomach. He collapsed forward, just holding himself over the man still pounding into him. It only took a few more thrusts into Peter’s body to push Clint over the edge.
They stayed on the couch until they’d both remembered how to breathe. “We should probably…” Peter groaned a little as he pulled himself off of Clint.
“Get cleaned up? Yeah.” Clint’s brow furrowed a little as Peter stared at him for a minute. “What?”
“I was just thinking that this was a much better use of time and energy than fighting.”
Clint smirked. “Yeah, I can’t argue with that.”
“So there is something you can’t argue about? Wow…”
“Hey, you pushing for round two, Parker?” The blonde smirked up at him.
Peter thought about it for a moment. Something wasn’t quite right about this. Aside from the obvious bizarre fact that he’d just fucked his team leader, something was missing. “This isn’t going to last.”
“Well, yeah… you’re probably right.” Clint frowned. “Does that matter?”
Peter shook his head. For now, no. It didn’t matter. It was fun. It was a great way to break the tension. It wasn’t a whole lot more productive than screaming at each other, but it was a lot more pleasurable.
But it wasn’t what he was looking for.
It wasn’t love.
“So,” Peter began collecting discarded pieces of uniform, “who is hiding condoms and lube in Bucky’s couch?”
“I’d put money on Luke, Jess and Danny, actually.”
“Are we sure Jessica is in on that?”
“Nope.”
~*~*~*~
“I give up.”
“What?”
Peter frowned. “You’re not even paying attention, are you?”
Johnny looked up from the engine of the whatever-the-hell-he-was-working-on-this-time and got that cute little confused look he got from time to time. “Do I ever actually pay attention?”
“Point taken.” Peter bent down, retrieving a Coke from the bar fridge Johnny had put in the garage to save himself trips to the kitchen. “I said, I’m giving up dating.”
“Wouldn’t you have to start dating before you actually give it up?”
“I’ve dated.” Peter resisted the urge to pout only because he knew if he did, Johnny would call him on it and he was so not in the mood to be teased.
“Yeah? When was the last time you went out with someone that wasn’t one of your friends?”
“Well…”
“Uh-huh.” Johnny bent back under the hood of the car as if his point was made and there was nothing else to discuss.
“Well… if I was like you…” Peter knew that had sounded petty. He knew he sounded like he was judging Johnny for his tendency to just ‘have fun’ and not take any one relationship that seriously.
The blonde stood, that crinkle between his eyes making a comeback. “Like me? What’s that supposed to mean?”
Shit. Peter sighed. “I just mean… I don’t want to just go out and date. I want… more than that.”
“And I don’t.” The crinkle was quickly turning into a full blow furrow.
“No… I mean, I don’t know.” Peter ran a hand through his hair. “I just… you seem happy as you are and everything so, I just figured…”
“You just figured what?”
“I don’t know.” Peter got up and moved toward him. “Look, I’m sorry. You just don’t seem to be in any kind of hurry to find someone special is all I meant.”
Johnny ducked under the hood again. “Maybe I have already.”
“What?” Peter moved closer to the car. Maybe he’d heard wrong. Johnny would have mentioned it before if he was actually seeing someone. Peter was sure of it.
“And maybe he’s just too stupid to see it.”
Peter felt his throat tighten. “Johnny…”
“And maybe I don’t want to spend all my time sitting around wasting away while he tries to figure it out!” There was more anger in the words than Peter thought there should have been.
He moved around to stand beside his friend. “Will you come out from there so we can actually have a conversation, please.”
“I said enough.”
“Well, I haven’t.” Peter pulled Johnny up and lost all ability to speak. He just stared at his friend for way too long, trying to figure out where exactly this conversation was going. He’d thought about taking their friendship to a different level many years ago, but had written off the idea when Johnny married that skrull that was masquerading around as Ben’s old girlfriend… boy, what a mess that had been…
But now… now, there were no skrull-well, at least no skrulls that either of them were married to-and he couldn’t actually come up with any other reason not to at least ask. And Johnny seemed to be hinting at maybe, possibly feeling something. Peter was so caught up in his spinning brain that when Johnny pushed him back, the blonde actually got away from him. Way to use those Spidey reflexes, Parker.
“Whatever you have to say, say it. I’m paying attention now.” Johnny’s arms crossed and he leaned against the car. To a casual observer he’d look annoyed, but relaxed. Peter wasn’t a casual observer though. He saw the tension in Johnny’s shoulders, the anticipation for… something in the way he held himself. “Well?”
Peter frowned and opened his mouth to say something… anything really, about what was floating around his brain. Nothing came out. He took a deep breath and tried again, with the same results. “I…”
Johnny rolled his eyes. “That was eloquent, Pete. Really. Can I get back to work now?”
Several things happened in the blink of an eye. First, Peter’s brain stopped its spin and focused. Sure, Johnny was a self centered jerk sometimes, and he rarely took anything seriously. Sure, they’d been friends for years and this could completely ruin that. Sure, the blonde’s attention span when it came to relationships was comparable to a goldfish. All good reasons not to mess with anything. All perfectly reasonable excuses that he’d been using for years. And, as his brain stopped spinning, none of them mattered.
Peter crossed the distance between them in a flash and pressed his lips to Johnny’s. It should have been some manic crash of a kiss, but it wasn’t. There was something deeper than that. Peter moaned as Johnny’s shock wore off and he started to kiss back. It was heated, irresponsible, rash; all the things that most people would use as reasons against wanting Johnny in their life, and Peter wanted more of it. Something had jumped to life-sparked-in him when their lips met.
This is it. Holy crap… this is it! It’s really happening! Don’t screw this up, Parker!
It took him a second to figure out what his brain was going on about, but when he pulled back, leaving them both breathless and clinging, he saw it. He wasn’t going to admit it yet just in case, but he felt it and he thought for a moment, he saw it flashing back at him from the depths of Johnny’s eyes too. “Wow.”
Johnny smirked at him. “I’ll say.” He pulled Peter tighter against him, claiming his lips again. “Upstairs?”
Peter smiled. “You’re covered in grease.”
“And you’re still wearing spandex. Who are you to judge?”
“We could fix this…” Peter bit his lip a little. “Shower?”
Johnny smirked. “Oh hell, yeah.”
It took twice as long as it should have to get to the bathroom. Every few steps one of them would pull the other back and they’d make out for a few minutes before continuing on.
Once they actually got there and actually got in the shower, everything felt a little surreal to Peter. He leaned against the tiles, moaning as Johnny trailed almost too hot kisses down his abs before trailing his almost too hot tongue along the underside of Peter’s cock. He wanted to let his head fall back, shut his eyes and lose himself to this feeling, but he couldn’t take his eyes off of Johnny, dripping wet and moaning around him. It was… god, it was beautiful.
Or after, in Johnny’s bed, with him buried as deep as he could get inside Peter. Every time he moved, Peter saw sparks and groaned for more. And when Johnny kissed him, the world could disappear and he couldn’t care less. Johnny kept talking, telling him how good this all was, how amazing he felt, how long he’d wanted this. Peter did his best to push aside the thought that he was a complete moron and should have said something years ago.
But it wasn’t until later, with Johnny’s arms wrapped around him, and just on the edge of sleep that he’d admit it.
He’d found it. He’d gotten whatever it was that he’d been looking for. He’d found something to fill that little empty spot that he couldn’t even figure out the reason for.
Peter Parker was in love.
Author: dazzledfirestar
Character(s): Peter Parker/Bobby Drake/Jean Paul Beaubier, Clint Barton/Peter Parker, Johnny Storm/Peter Parker
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Oral sex, M/M, M/M/M, anal, voyeurism
Disclaimer: I do not own anything recognizable here. Marvel does. I do not make any money from this.
Author Note: This was written for the marvel_kink Meme. The original prompt was:
What if Mephisto had undone the Spider marriage by making Peter gay?
I was thinking people could do a series of snippets of his encounters with various male heroes as Peter keeps hooking up trying to find a guy who can fill the void left by Mary-Jane.
So I ran with it. There was a request to fit the Hulk in there... but no. Never. And I had to give Peter the happy ending he deserves. ;)
There wasn’t anything weird about it. Not at first anyway. Bobby had said something about being in town and how they should get together for a drink. Made sense, as far as Peter was concerned. It had been far too long since he’d seen Bobby and from the conversation so far, things seemed to be good in the X-Man’s life. Peter smiled and sipped his beer. “Sounds like he’s a great guy, but…” Peter bit his lip and picked at the label on the beer bottle. “Well, I thought you were straight.”
Bobby grinned a little. “That makes two of us.”
“So then…” Peter found himself in one of those rare moments when he couldn’t think of anything to say and his mouth decided not to run away with him. “Wow.”
Bobby shrugged and took another sip of his drink. “When its right, its right.”
“That’s a pretty wide sweeping statement there, Bobby.”
Brown eyes sparkled as he stared across the table. “Oh, come on. Are you telling me that if you met someone that had that… something about them, you’d turn it down because of the packaging?”
“No,” Peter answered honestly. “But that’s quite a leap to make.”
“Well, you’d know more about leaping than I would.”
Peter chuckled and checked his watch. “Wow, almost an hour, Drake.” He shook his head. “I was wondering how long you’d hold off on the shop talk.” Peter set down his beer and pointed at it. “That’s getting warm by the way.”
Bobby smiled and shook his head before dropping the temperature of Peter’s beer. “So, you wanna meet him?”
Peter’s brow crinkled for a moment. “Who?” He could have smacked himself for being so dense. “Oh, the love of your life? Yeah, I’d like to see what kind of guy would want to put up with you.”
“Well,” something different flashed through Bobby’s eyes and Peter couldn’t, or wouldn’t put a name to it. “He’s upstairs in our room.”
Okay, now Peter knew what he’d seen. He couldn’t actually believe it, but he’d seen it. “Umm…” He was sure he had to be misinterpreting something here. He had to be. It’d just been way too long since he’d gotten laid. That had to be it. He was panicking for nothing. After all, Bobby and this hunk of dream his was dating were all in love. Peter’s mind kept that in the forefront as he nodded. “Yeah, okay. So we’ll take the next round up then?”
“Sounds like a plan.” Bobby smiled behind his drink and that… thing that Peter had seen earlier showed itself again.
“Umm…” How did you ask a friend if he wanted you to sleep with him and his boyfriend? Better yet, how do you tell him that you weren’t entirely opposed to the idea? Assuming of course that this boyfriend was half as hot as Bobby made him sound… “So… what exactly do you guys do for fun?”
Bobby quirked an eyebrow at him before he laughed. “Something on your mind, Parker?”
“Well… yeah, actually. I mean you invite me up to meet the boyfriend… in your hotel room. How do I know you’re not going to try to take advantage of me?” He smiled, taking the edge off the words that he was sure, once they left his mouth, could be taken as an insult. Shit, he wasn’t handling this right. Okay, he tried to focus on the situation. Who would know how to handle this…? He thought for a moment before it came to him. What would Johnny do??
“Would you really mind?”
Peter’s jaw dropped and his brain shut down. Before it rebooted though, his mouth answered for him. “No, actually I wouldn’t.”
Bobby tossed back the rest of his drink and his grin widened. “Then let’s go.”
Peter didn’t hesitate; thinking that if he did, this would all just disappear and he’d wake up alone, and more than likely sticky in his own bed and he’d had quite enough of that. When they got in the elevator Peter felt his cheeks catch fire. “So, umm… what exactly did you and…”
“Jean-Paul.”
“Ah, yeah.” It occurred to Peter that he should know Bobby’s boyfriend’s name before they got to the room. “So what exactly do you guys have in mind here?”
“Honestly?” Bobby blushed too. Good. That was good. Peter didn’t want to be the only one blushing about this.
“Yeah, I think we’re past the point of dancing around this, don’t you?”
Bobby chuckled and leaned in. “I want to give you head while JP fucks me.”
The doors picked that moment to open. Peter stumbled after his friend and did his very best not to swallow his own tongue. As Bobby unlocked the hotel room door, Peter caught up. “So, just like that, huh?”
“Is that okay?”
A million thoughts ran through Peter’s head about whether this would fuck up their friendship or Bobby’s relationship with his boyfriend; about whether he could really handle something like this; about whether he was going to regret this as soon as it was done. None of that came out of his mouth though. “What guy in his right mind is going to turn down a blow job?” He could have smashed his head against the wall. Smooth, Parker… real smooth.
Things moved quickly once the door closed behind them. Bobby hadn’t mentioned that this fantastic new boyfriend was Northstar. Granted, Peter figured he should have put that together for himself, but his brain seemed to be refusing to keep up. He found himself wondering vaguely if everything moved this quickly when a speedster was involved. Or he wondered that until Bobby pulled on his fly. “Peter…”
He didn’t talk, and he was pretty proud of himself for that. He pulled off his clothes as quickly as he could, ignoring the appreciation in both of the other men’s gaze, and the blush that was taking over his face. Jean-Paul smiled. It bordered on a smirk, actually. “Très beau, mon ami.”
“Thanks.” Peter resisted the urge to pull the covers he was sitting on over his head. He let his eyes fall down to Bobby who he expected to see smiling up at him with that look of mischief from earlier. That wasn’t what he got. Bobby was licking his lips, eyes even darker than usual as he stared up at him. Peter’s mouth went dry as Bobby took him in his mouth.
If someone would ask later (and who would, because he wasn’t going to tell a soul about this!) he would never be able to recall details about that night. So much of it ended up as blurry images, the occasion snippet of the feel of Bobby’s mouth around him, or the way it felt when Jean Paul drove one of Bobby’s moans straight through both of them. He remembered all of them collapsing onto the bed in a tangle of limbs, sweaty, panting and sated, but feeling like something was off. Like something was missing. That was the moment he realized it. That was the moment he figured out what he wanted. Laying there, watching the two of them cuddled around each other when they thought he wasn’t looking, he saw what he wanted.
Peter wanted to fall in love.
~*~*~*~
“This wouldn’t be happening at all if you’d have manned up years ago!”
Peter rolled his eyes behind the mask. How many more times were they going to have this same fight? How many more times was he going to regret joining the Avengers? How many more times was the team just going to vacate the apartment and let him and Clint yell themselves raw at each other?
“It is not my fault that your ego can’t handle losing!”
“We shouldn’t be okay with losing to that nut job!”
“And if you were half the man you claimed to be, you shouldn’t be so ready to just kill someone!” His spider sense didn’t warn him, so he should have known he wasn’t in any real danger when Clint got a hold of his shoulders. He could have gotten out of the hold before he hit the wall too, but something told him that wouldn’t really help the situation. So they just stayed there, Clint holding him by the shoulders against the wall, and Peter staring back at him. He reached up and took his mask off. He wanted to be angrier about it. He really did. “You’re better than this, Barton and you fucking know it.”
For half a second, he saw something of the man he used to know in those steely blue eyes; something of the guy that, without a doubt back in the day could be counted on to be snaking and making jokes with him and Bobby and Johnny at any big meeting of superheroes. He took that as a good sign. When he spoke again, a fair bit of the anger from the moment before had drained out of Clint’s voice. “Things can’t stay like this.”
“Well yeah.” Peter couldn’t help the smile that crossed his face. “Eventually your arms are going to get tired of holding me up like this.”
He caught a flash of reactionary anger for a second before Clint laughed. He actually laughed. That was the best sign Peter had seen in months. “Can’t you ever take anything seriously?”
“I seem to remember a few people saying that to you way back when.”
“Okay, yeah. I can’t deny that.”
“So are you going to let me down or are we going to keep fighting with me on the wall?”
Clint smirked… not that angry, pissed off smirk that was becoming more and more common but that smirk Peter used to refer to as the ‘Hawkeye smirk’; the one he’d had before everything went to hell, and before Wanda had killed him… twice; the one that, if he’d been honest with himself back then, had made him a little weak in the knees. “I don’t know yet.”
“Well, you better make up your mind before everyone comes back and finds us in this kind of compromising position.” He’s got a wife/girlfriend/whatever he was calling Bobbi now. He’s straight…as far as you know. Don’t push your luck, Parker. Peter nearly shushed his inner monologue.
“Would you really mind?”
Peter’s brain stopped for a second. He flashed back to Bobby way back when, in the hotel bar. No way. No fucking way. “If I say no, are you going to get pissed off again?”
Clint made a show of thinking about it. “No.”
“Then, no. Not really, no.” Without really thinking about it, Peter kissed him. Full out, grabbed the back of Clint’s head and shoved his tongue down his throat kissed him. He’s going to punch me in the face for this.
Clint kissed him back. He actually full out kissed him back and Peter couldn’t help but moan about that. When they pulled back (and Clint let him down off the wall) they were both breathless. “What the hell was that?”
“Umm.. I… I didn’t… I just…”
“Peter?”
“Yeah?”
“Bobbi and I broke it off. Two weeks ago.”
“Oh.”
“Just thought you should know.” He smiled again and Peter’s heart rate picked up significantly. Yeah, that was the knee weakening smile he remembered. Clint pulled him closer and kissed him again and dragged him over to the couch. “Hold on…” He reached between the cushions and pulled out a half empty bottle of lube and a crushed pack of condoms. Peter’s brow crinkled for a moment. Why the hell…? “Umm… if you don’t want to d this…”
“Oh god! No… I… yeah! I want to! I just… who’s been…?”
“Do we really want to think about that right now?” Clint bent over him again, sucking on his neck and sending chills down Peter’s spine. Both their hands moved under their uniforms, pulling them off, moving over scars and flat planes of muscle. Time blurred when first one, then a second slick finger slid into him. It could have been minutes or hours and Peter couldn’t bring himself to care. When Clint added a third finger, Peter trembled. He could feel the hard length of Clint’s cock against his thigh and he moved forward on the couch, straddling Clint’s hips and bending to kiss him again. “You ready?” Clint’s eyes seemed strange… pupil blown so wide, he could barely make out the ring of steel blue around them.
“Yeah.” He groaned as Clint’s fingers slid from him. He reached forward, taking the lube and coating Clint’s length with it. The blonde’s eyes rolled back and a deep groan left his lips. The groan morphed into a full blown, wanton moan as Peter sank down on Clint’s cock. The blonde reached up, grabbing his hips.
“Fuck, Peter…” They set a nearly frantic rhythm; all the energy that had gone into screaming at each other early poured out as they fucked.
Again, time blurred. H.A.M.M.E.R. could have knocked the building down on them, and Peter was fairly sure that as long as they both got to finish, neither would actually care. When Clint wrapped his hand around Peter’s cock, Peter lost it. His head fell back and a far too loud cry escaped his lips as he came, spilling himself all over himself and Clint’s stomach. He collapsed forward, just holding himself over the man still pounding into him. It only took a few more thrusts into Peter’s body to push Clint over the edge.
They stayed on the couch until they’d both remembered how to breathe. “We should probably…” Peter groaned a little as he pulled himself off of Clint.
“Get cleaned up? Yeah.” Clint’s brow furrowed a little as Peter stared at him for a minute. “What?”
“I was just thinking that this was a much better use of time and energy than fighting.”
Clint smirked. “Yeah, I can’t argue with that.”
“So there is something you can’t argue about? Wow…”
“Hey, you pushing for round two, Parker?” The blonde smirked up at him.
Peter thought about it for a moment. Something wasn’t quite right about this. Aside from the obvious bizarre fact that he’d just fucked his team leader, something was missing. “This isn’t going to last.”
“Well, yeah… you’re probably right.” Clint frowned. “Does that matter?”
Peter shook his head. For now, no. It didn’t matter. It was fun. It was a great way to break the tension. It wasn’t a whole lot more productive than screaming at each other, but it was a lot more pleasurable.
But it wasn’t what he was looking for.
It wasn’t love.
“So,” Peter began collecting discarded pieces of uniform, “who is hiding condoms and lube in Bucky’s couch?”
“I’d put money on Luke, Jess and Danny, actually.”
“Are we sure Jessica is in on that?”
“Nope.”
~*~*~*~
“I give up.”
“What?”
Peter frowned. “You’re not even paying attention, are you?”
Johnny looked up from the engine of the whatever-the-hell-he-was-working-on-this-time and got that cute little confused look he got from time to time. “Do I ever actually pay attention?”
“Point taken.” Peter bent down, retrieving a Coke from the bar fridge Johnny had put in the garage to save himself trips to the kitchen. “I said, I’m giving up dating.”
“Wouldn’t you have to start dating before you actually give it up?”
“I’ve dated.” Peter resisted the urge to pout only because he knew if he did, Johnny would call him on it and he was so not in the mood to be teased.
“Yeah? When was the last time you went out with someone that wasn’t one of your friends?”
“Well…”
“Uh-huh.” Johnny bent back under the hood of the car as if his point was made and there was nothing else to discuss.
“Well… if I was like you…” Peter knew that had sounded petty. He knew he sounded like he was judging Johnny for his tendency to just ‘have fun’ and not take any one relationship that seriously.
The blonde stood, that crinkle between his eyes making a comeback. “Like me? What’s that supposed to mean?”
Shit. Peter sighed. “I just mean… I don’t want to just go out and date. I want… more than that.”
“And I don’t.” The crinkle was quickly turning into a full blow furrow.
“No… I mean, I don’t know.” Peter ran a hand through his hair. “I just… you seem happy as you are and everything so, I just figured…”
“You just figured what?”
“I don’t know.” Peter got up and moved toward him. “Look, I’m sorry. You just don’t seem to be in any kind of hurry to find someone special is all I meant.”
Johnny ducked under the hood again. “Maybe I have already.”
“What?” Peter moved closer to the car. Maybe he’d heard wrong. Johnny would have mentioned it before if he was actually seeing someone. Peter was sure of it.
“And maybe he’s just too stupid to see it.”
Peter felt his throat tighten. “Johnny…”
“And maybe I don’t want to spend all my time sitting around wasting away while he tries to figure it out!” There was more anger in the words than Peter thought there should have been.
He moved around to stand beside his friend. “Will you come out from there so we can actually have a conversation, please.”
“I said enough.”
“Well, I haven’t.” Peter pulled Johnny up and lost all ability to speak. He just stared at his friend for way too long, trying to figure out where exactly this conversation was going. He’d thought about taking their friendship to a different level many years ago, but had written off the idea when Johnny married that skrull that was masquerading around as Ben’s old girlfriend… boy, what a mess that had been…
But now… now, there were no skrull-well, at least no skrulls that either of them were married to-and he couldn’t actually come up with any other reason not to at least ask. And Johnny seemed to be hinting at maybe, possibly feeling something. Peter was so caught up in his spinning brain that when Johnny pushed him back, the blonde actually got away from him. Way to use those Spidey reflexes, Parker.
“Whatever you have to say, say it. I’m paying attention now.” Johnny’s arms crossed and he leaned against the car. To a casual observer he’d look annoyed, but relaxed. Peter wasn’t a casual observer though. He saw the tension in Johnny’s shoulders, the anticipation for… something in the way he held himself. “Well?”
Peter frowned and opened his mouth to say something… anything really, about what was floating around his brain. Nothing came out. He took a deep breath and tried again, with the same results. “I…”
Johnny rolled his eyes. “That was eloquent, Pete. Really. Can I get back to work now?”
Several things happened in the blink of an eye. First, Peter’s brain stopped its spin and focused. Sure, Johnny was a self centered jerk sometimes, and he rarely took anything seriously. Sure, they’d been friends for years and this could completely ruin that. Sure, the blonde’s attention span when it came to relationships was comparable to a goldfish. All good reasons not to mess with anything. All perfectly reasonable excuses that he’d been using for years. And, as his brain stopped spinning, none of them mattered.
Peter crossed the distance between them in a flash and pressed his lips to Johnny’s. It should have been some manic crash of a kiss, but it wasn’t. There was something deeper than that. Peter moaned as Johnny’s shock wore off and he started to kiss back. It was heated, irresponsible, rash; all the things that most people would use as reasons against wanting Johnny in their life, and Peter wanted more of it. Something had jumped to life-sparked-in him when their lips met.
This is it. Holy crap… this is it! It’s really happening! Don’t screw this up, Parker!
It took him a second to figure out what his brain was going on about, but when he pulled back, leaving them both breathless and clinging, he saw it. He wasn’t going to admit it yet just in case, but he felt it and he thought for a moment, he saw it flashing back at him from the depths of Johnny’s eyes too. “Wow.”
Johnny smirked at him. “I’ll say.” He pulled Peter tighter against him, claiming his lips again. “Upstairs?”
Peter smiled. “You’re covered in grease.”
“And you’re still wearing spandex. Who are you to judge?”
“We could fix this…” Peter bit his lip a little. “Shower?”
Johnny smirked. “Oh hell, yeah.”
It took twice as long as it should have to get to the bathroom. Every few steps one of them would pull the other back and they’d make out for a few minutes before continuing on.
Once they actually got there and actually got in the shower, everything felt a little surreal to Peter. He leaned against the tiles, moaning as Johnny trailed almost too hot kisses down his abs before trailing his almost too hot tongue along the underside of Peter’s cock. He wanted to let his head fall back, shut his eyes and lose himself to this feeling, but he couldn’t take his eyes off of Johnny, dripping wet and moaning around him. It was… god, it was beautiful.
Or after, in Johnny’s bed, with him buried as deep as he could get inside Peter. Every time he moved, Peter saw sparks and groaned for more. And when Johnny kissed him, the world could disappear and he couldn’t care less. Johnny kept talking, telling him how good this all was, how amazing he felt, how long he’d wanted this. Peter did his best to push aside the thought that he was a complete moron and should have said something years ago.
But it wasn’t until later, with Johnny’s arms wrapped around him, and just on the edge of sleep that he’d admit it.
He’d found it. He’d gotten whatever it was that he’d been looking for. He’d found something to fill that little empty spot that he couldn’t even figure out the reason for.
Peter Parker was in love.