100 Things Challenge (#1): A Chrysalis Is a Solitary Place (or How a Writer Is Born)

[dawn_felagund]

I've decided to take the 100 Things challenge. (Just what I need! Something else to add to my to-do list! Luckily I have forever to finish it, which those of you waiting for me to finish things can all attest is about how long it usually takes.)

Comments

[huinare]

Wow, I've thought about it before and been amazed that not everyone has stories in their heads, but to actually see it written down here makes it more depressing somehow.

It's depressing in my world at any rate, probably because I've been starting to realize that my creative urge and my depression are negatively correlated. I started writing again two years ago, after going two years without writing anything in a prolonged fit of angst. Not bothering to write then was a mistake which I hope not to repeat.

And, I had to reply to a snippet from your comment to Oshun:
But, still, when in big groups--particularly big groups where I don't know most people--I still prefer to sit back and listen and observe. I have trouble in groups getting a word in edgewise. I'm very self-conscious about interrupting, so I always wait just a beat too long before speaking up, and someone else jumps in.Yes, this! My sense of timing is different than most people's evidently, my sense of a polite pause more ample, and I'm forever getting beat to the

[dawn_felagund]

I've also noticed a correlation between creativity and mood. I write best when hypomanic; I find it easier to descend into that "crazy place" in my mind where I can let go of enough inhibitions to write honestly and, therefore, really tap into something meaningful (or hopefully meaningful :). When depressed, the best I can usually manage is angsty poetry, if provoked.

What I think would be interesting to see is if I can generate a positive mood by writing: Can replicating the creative state generated by a positive mood itself produce a positive mood? Or is it one-way only? (The psychology of inspiration fascinates me. :)

My sense of timing is different than most people's evidently, my sense of a polite pause more ample, and I'm forever getting beat to the punch just before I open my mouth.

Isn't that so frustrating? I'm not a very competitive person to start. I prefer to collaborate rather than fight others to be heard. I'm just not comfortable feeling as though I'm shutting others down, with the result that I am often myself shut

[huinare]

*looks up hypomania* Ohh. That describes me sometimes. Good to have that term in my arsenal, since I was distinctly aware that I've never been precisely ''manic."

What I think would be interesting to see is if I can generate a positive mood by writing: Can replicating the creative state generated by a positive mood itself produce a positive mood? Or is it one-way only? (The psychology of inspiration fascinates me. :)

That is a fascinating thought. =) I ought to test this out next time I'm getting into one of my little ruts. (Of course the biggest step is getting oneself to do it in the first place..)

I prefer to collaborate rather than fight others to be heard. I'm just not comfortable feeling as though I'm shutting others down, with the result that I am often myself shut down, and my ideas aren't heard. Grr.

Argh, precisely. For me, it often results in the additional defeatist feature of giving up even trying about halfway through a meeting or other discussion.

[lindahoyland]

This sounds a chord with me. I had a very solitary childhood and immersed myself in books and the characters became very real to me and I used to tell myself stories about them. I still need solitude and like being with my characters, though nowadays it is Aragorn and Faramir, rather than the Famous Five !

[dawn_felagund]

I did the same--tell myself stories about characters I liked. It was sort of a primitive and unwritten version of fan fiction. :) Or I'd invent OCs, often inspired by other characters in TV and books. I wonder how many young writers really get their start this way: imagining stories in the worlds created by other writers? That'd be an interesting question to research, imo. :)

[spiced_wine]

One is that solitude affords more opportunity for observation of everything, and just-right details in a story can make the difference between something that feels real and something that doesn't. As a child, I immersed myself in nature. Not surprisingly, natural descriptions fill my writing. Solitude also allows for exploration, both in terms of actual and literary/intellectual experiences. While exploring nature, I learned a lot about it. Not surprisingly, my stories also contain these kinds of tidbits, things that my peers never had the chance to learn.

I remain almost pathologically hypersensitive to nonverbal cues people give in social situations. I believe this comes from having to be on the defensive against cruelty from peers. Enough people tell me that my strength as a writer is my characters that I've come to believe them, and I think that comes from having watched people all of my life, more often as an outsider trying to assess whether it is safe to ease into a friendshipDawn, you could be writing of me. This is me to the

[dawn_felagund]

made me shy of sharing anything I did with them writing-wise, since I was forever comparing myself to them

Although it is my pet theory that insecurity tends to lead to better writers than confidence. At least, the really good writers I know tend to be insecure and constantly comparing themselves to others; the really awful writers I've known are the ones who are sure they're destined to be bestsellers. ;)

I get paranoid if I think I am unwelcome, or boring some-one.

That's me too. My husband is the exact opposite; he is very gregarious and has always had a lot of friends. I don't assume that anyone wants to be friends or is interested in me. (This is offline; online is a different ball of cheese. :) As a result, I tend not to make friends easily, although I have a lot of people with whom I am cordial or friendly. I also become hyper-cognizant when people interrupt or talk over me or don't listen; I assume that means they're not interested when I'm probably reading too much into it. I avoid those people.

he liked the fact that I

[spiced_wine]

I also become hyper-cognizant when people interrupt or talk over me or don't listen; I assume that means they're not interested when I'm probably reading too much into it. I avoid those people.

I know exactly what you mean. I watch and listen very closely to see if they seem bored, and I immediately go quiet. Of course some people have no manners and will talk over every-one, but that's rather different.

I have a lot of acquaintances rather than close friends, and partly that is because I have always been quite content with what was going on in my head, and that was my company.

Although it is my pet theory that insecurity tends to lead to better writers than confidence. At least, the really good writers I know tend to be insecure and constantly comparing themselves to others; the really awful writers I've known are the ones who are sure they're destined to be bestsellers. ;)I would say the same. Also people puffing off about how good they are tends to set peoples backs up, and so they're likely to be more critical in their

[ellynn_ithilwen]

I remember we talked about this several years ago (oh my, time flies!). I also remember one of your great comments: "It is no wonder that the adults [those who do not imagine/dream] are boring/bored".

I've always made little stories in my head, long before I started writing. I always loved imagining. But when I was rebuked for that a few times, I simply stopped mentioning it - until I met Alen. I could talk about everything with him and share my dream-worlds with him, and you know well from your own experience how much this means to me.

From what I can see, it seems to me that those "serious, responsible adults" think that all those who fantasize are childish persons incapable of taking real-life responsibilities. Why? Why would that be true? Why would making stories/imaginary worlds stop you from being a great teacher, or someone else being good in his/her work? *sigh*

[dawn_felagund]

I'd actually go so far as to argue that it's dangerous to hamper creativity or imagination. That we live in a world where maturity is equated with never interacting with anything beyond the reality right in front of one's nose--and doing that only as superficially as possible--is scary to me. You control so much of a person when you limit their thoughts in that way.

It's an immensely powerful thing, I think, to be able to imagine yourself as someone else, which you often must do when writing a story. It requires seeing other perspectives, considering other views of reality, and developing empathy. Of course, this is inconvenient for some interests, but I think the world would be a better place if more people bothered to do this.

[willtherebetime]

It wasn't until I was a young adult and honestly asked a few people, "Do you do this too?" that I realized that, no, most people do not.

This is such a truth! It's difficult for me to remember that not everyone does this since I have spent most of my life surrounded by people who are artistic/creative. Even my husband has trouble understanding my need to sit and write sometimes. He thinks it's something I can just pull out when I get the urge. While sometimes that is the case, I personally need to write as a way of self-care.

I really relate with the last paragraph of your post. Yet, I know that without the constant interaction I have at work and with family, I am likely to retreat into solitude. While it can infringe upon my creative time, I need to remove myself from my muses to be human.

[dawn_felagund]

He thinks it's something I can just pull out when I get the urge. While sometimes that is the case, I personally need to write as a way of self-care.

I've gotten pretty good at being able to write when I need to. I'm not very good at suppressing the need when it comes suddenly upon me. ;) Your note about writing as self-care is relevant to me as well. As a young person, I had terrible insomnia. As I got older, I eventually came to realize that the insomnia came about because I was telling myself stories all night. Writing them down effectively cleared my head, and I became a more functional person.

I need to remove myself from my muses to be human.That's so true. I could see myself becoming a hermit quite easily. But I do enjoy people and working with people, I think I'm pretty good as a teacher, and ultimately, it is that human interaction that I think makes my stories effective, because I am able to write realistic characters. Also, interacting with people reminds me of the greater purpose that art can serve in making the world a

[willtherebetime]

I am so glad to see kindred spirits. When I was young, I told myself stories to put myself to sleep.
I work with victims/survivors of violence, so writing offers me a way to disengage when needed. However since I began having such intense interactions and seeing how dynamic people can be, I think it has improved my characterization skills.

I really like your statement regarding art's purpose. I'd like to hear more about your position on that!