Thing wot bit me in the ass today
Is this too out there? Too popslash? Don't ask me where this came from either.
Premise: The CW boys as superheroes.
Chad Michael Murray - invulnerable
Jared Padalecki - super strong
Jensen Ackles- super fast
Christian Kane - grumpy old timer, retired hero…ala Batman Beyond Bruce Wayne
Tom Welling- villain with mind control
Michael Rosenbaum - villain that doesn’t actually have powers, basically just wants to hang out with Tom
Steve Carlson- has powers but doesn’t use them.
All I have are these snippets of conversations that may never go any further, but they amuse me. Oh and the whole thing is a first person narrative told by Chad. Needless to say I will probably never write it for that very reason.
Chad: “So what do you do?”
Jared: “I work on my family’s farm.”
Chad: “No, I mean your powers.”
Jared: “Oh, I pick up stuff.”
Chad: “With your mind?”
Jared: “No, but that would be cool.”
Chad: “So you just pick up stuff. That’s it.”
Jared: “Well, considering the last stuff I picked up was a fire truck…”
Chad: “Oh, well, that’s better.”
Jared: “You’ve got to give him a chance, man.”
Chad: “He’s a jerk.”
Jared: “So are you, but you don’t hear me complaining.”
Chad: “Hey!”
Jared: “Just trust me. He’ll be here in a second.”
Jensen appears in a blur.
Chad: “Whoa, what was that?”
Jensen: “I’m really fast.”
Chad: “Your girlfriend must hate you.”
Jared: “Oh, god! Chad!”
Jared: “We need superhero names.”
Jensen: “Don’t be lame.”
Jared: “No, really. What should you call me?”
Chad: “Assmunch?”
Jared pouts.
Jensen: “Way to go, Mayhem, now he’ll whine all evening.”
Jared: “Mayhem…you know, that’s not so bad.”
The three of them pause to think about it.
Jensen: “Nah, that’s stupid.”
Chad: “I was thinking about The Chad.”
Jensen: “So what? Your power is that you dangle?”
Chris: “Back in my day-“
Chad: “What do you mean back in your day? You couldn’t be what thirty-two? Thirty-four?”
Chris: “Shut up.”
Chad pouting on porch beside Steve playing his guitar.
Chad: “He doesn’t have to treat me like that.”
Steve: “Give Chris some slack. He’s been through a lot.”
Chad: “Was he really a hero?”
Steve: “He was, but he gave too much of himself. The thing about being different is, people either want to destroy you or put you on a pedestal. That’s a hard life to live, waiting to make a mistake. Because you know you will, after all, powers or no, you’re still only human.”
Chad: “Is that what happened to Chris?”
Steve nods and then tilts his shades down to stare at his coffee. It immediately starts to bubble and give off steam.
Chad: “You have powers too!”
Steve: “No big thing.”
Chad: “Did you used to work with Chris?”
Steve: “The whole hero bit? Nah.”
Chad: “But you have powers and you don’t use them to help people.”
Steve: “I’m a musician.”
Tom: “You mean all this time you’ve never had any powers?”
Mike (being held by the scruff of his shirt): “No, I just…we’re friends, aren’t we?”
Tom tossing Mike away: “I can’t believe I wasted my time on you.”
Mike: “I knew this would happen someday. You ruined it Murray! You ruined it! That’s why I’m going to blow this city to hell. You’ll be the only one to walk away from it. You’ll have to live with it forever!”
Chad: “You’re the fast one, can’t you run it out of here before it blows up?”
Jensen: “It’s a bomb. If I try to move it, it might blow up anyway!”
Chad: “So? Aren’t you fast enough? You keep telling us how fast you are!”
Jensen: “That thing could take out this whole city. I’m not touching it!”
Jared: “So we just let it go off?”
Chad: “Dude, we are the worst heroes ever.”
Premise: The CW boys as superheroes.
Chad Michael Murray - invulnerable
Jared Padalecki - super strong
Jensen Ackles- super fast
Christian Kane - grumpy old timer, retired hero…ala Batman Beyond Bruce Wayne
Tom Welling- villain with mind control
Michael Rosenbaum - villain that doesn’t actually have powers, basically just wants to hang out with Tom
Steve Carlson- has powers but doesn’t use them.
All I have are these snippets of conversations that may never go any further, but they amuse me. Oh and the whole thing is a first person narrative told by Chad. Needless to say I will probably never write it for that very reason.
Chad: “So what do you do?”
Jared: “I work on my family’s farm.”
Chad: “No, I mean your powers.”
Jared: “Oh, I pick up stuff.”
Chad: “With your mind?”
Jared: “No, but that would be cool.”
Chad: “So you just pick up stuff. That’s it.”
Jared: “Well, considering the last stuff I picked up was a fire truck…”
Chad: “Oh, well, that’s better.”
Jared: “You’ve got to give him a chance, man.”
Chad: “He’s a jerk.”
Jared: “So are you, but you don’t hear me complaining.”
Chad: “Hey!”
Jared: “Just trust me. He’ll be here in a second.”
Jensen appears in a blur.
Chad: “Whoa, what was that?”
Jensen: “I’m really fast.”
Chad: “Your girlfriend must hate you.”
Jared: “Oh, god! Chad!”
Jared: “We need superhero names.”
Jensen: “Don’t be lame.”
Jared: “No, really. What should you call me?”
Chad: “Assmunch?”
Jared pouts.
Jensen: “Way to go, Mayhem, now he’ll whine all evening.”
Jared: “Mayhem…you know, that’s not so bad.”
The three of them pause to think about it.
Jensen: “Nah, that’s stupid.”
Chad: “I was thinking about The Chad.”
Jensen: “So what? Your power is that you dangle?”
Chris: “Back in my day-“
Chad: “What do you mean back in your day? You couldn’t be what thirty-two? Thirty-four?”
Chris: “Shut up.”
Chad pouting on porch beside Steve playing his guitar.
Chad: “He doesn’t have to treat me like that.”
Steve: “Give Chris some slack. He’s been through a lot.”
Chad: “Was he really a hero?”
Steve: “He was, but he gave too much of himself. The thing about being different is, people either want to destroy you or put you on a pedestal. That’s a hard life to live, waiting to make a mistake. Because you know you will, after all, powers or no, you’re still only human.”
Chad: “Is that what happened to Chris?”
Steve nods and then tilts his shades down to stare at his coffee. It immediately starts to bubble and give off steam.
Chad: “You have powers too!”
Steve: “No big thing.”
Chad: “Did you used to work with Chris?”
Steve: “The whole hero bit? Nah.”
Chad: “But you have powers and you don’t use them to help people.”
Steve: “I’m a musician.”
Tom: “You mean all this time you’ve never had any powers?”
Mike (being held by the scruff of his shirt): “No, I just…we’re friends, aren’t we?”
Tom tossing Mike away: “I can’t believe I wasted my time on you.”
Mike: “I knew this would happen someday. You ruined it Murray! You ruined it! That’s why I’m going to blow this city to hell. You’ll be the only one to walk away from it. You’ll have to live with it forever!”
Chad: “You’re the fast one, can’t you run it out of here before it blows up?”
Jensen: “It’s a bomb. If I try to move it, it might blow up anyway!”
Chad: “So? Aren’t you fast enough? You keep telling us how fast you are!”
Jensen: “That thing could take out this whole city. I’m not touching it!”
Jared: “So we just let it go off?”
Chad: “Dude, we are the worst heroes ever.”