Confused Issues
I'm posting to try ask for people's thoughts here. Can this relationship be salvaged/saved or am I still hoping for something that just isn't there anymore?
I've had up to six different people in the past three months come to me expressing concern over the relationship my boyfriend has with a female friend of his (specifically asking me: have you two broken up? No. Do you have an open relationship? No). They see an intimacy between them in their interactions that I, too, see. I've expressed concern to him over this and he's said nothing but the usual "It's nothing" "We're just friends" and "you're reading too much into it." Every time I try talking with him about it he just doesn't seem to see the issue. Its in the way she trails her hand down him when they hug, the 'casual' touches, sitting with knees touching or *wrapped in a cuddly embrace outside a party*.
Top it off, we've been fighting waaay more often in the past two months, barely see each other anymore because of class, work schedule and the fact that we're now each uncomfortable staying over at the other's house because of our respective roommates who've naturally taken sides. At least if he stayed with me, we'd have privacy (I have my own bedroom at least, he only has a couch in the living-room until the basement gets finished, whenever that is) to spend time together, which we haven't gotten since he moved in August.
I'm also several months pregnant with his kid. I want to provide her with a family (a *healthy* family) in addition to everything else. He's scared enough he's admitted he doesn't feel emotionally, psychologically much less financially ready for another kid (his first two he lost custody of & frankly I think it crushed something in him but I "just can't understand" so he doesn't even talk w me about it) and would rather see her adopted. Which I won't agree to, I want to raise her. I can. It'll be difficult but do-able. Given that, he is trying to pull himself up so he can provide for her financially.
Last we talked, he thinks of us as still in a relationship (as do I), despite the total lack of intimacy on any level, trust issues, communication problems, arguing and distance we can't seem to reach across. We agreed the issues were too numerous for us to get through without professional help, which I have access to now, as does he through me. This is something I've been saying we need for a little over six months now and at this point it feels like we're already over. I've been back and forth for over two days about breaking it off or trying to see if he'll *actually* go to counseling with me. I start next week. Do I walk away for the sake of my emotional health or try to stick it out and hope he sees reason before it ends?
I've had up to six different people in the past three months come to me expressing concern over the relationship my boyfriend has with a female friend of his (specifically asking me: have you two broken up? No. Do you have an open relationship? No). They see an intimacy between them in their interactions that I, too, see. I've expressed concern to him over this and he's said nothing but the usual "It's nothing" "We're just friends" and "you're reading too much into it." Every time I try talking with him about it he just doesn't seem to see the issue. Its in the way she trails her hand down him when they hug, the 'casual' touches, sitting with knees touching or *wrapped in a cuddly embrace outside a party*.
Top it off, we've been fighting waaay more often in the past two months, barely see each other anymore because of class, work schedule and the fact that we're now each uncomfortable staying over at the other's house because of our respective roommates who've naturally taken sides. At least if he stayed with me, we'd have privacy (I have my own bedroom at least, he only has a couch in the living-room until the basement gets finished, whenever that is) to spend time together, which we haven't gotten since he moved in August.
I'm also several months pregnant with his kid. I want to provide her with a family (a *healthy* family) in addition to everything else. He's scared enough he's admitted he doesn't feel emotionally, psychologically much less financially ready for another kid (his first two he lost custody of & frankly I think it crushed something in him but I "just can't understand" so he doesn't even talk w me about it) and would rather see her adopted. Which I won't agree to, I want to raise her. I can. It'll be difficult but do-able. Given that, he is trying to pull himself up so he can provide for her financially.
Last we talked, he thinks of us as still in a relationship (as do I), despite the total lack of intimacy on any level, trust issues, communication problems, arguing and distance we can't seem to reach across. We agreed the issues were too numerous for us to get through without professional help, which I have access to now, as does he through me. This is something I've been saying we need for a little over six months now and at this point it feels like we're already over. I've been back and forth for over two days about breaking it off or trying to see if he'll *actually* go to counseling with me. I start next week. Do I walk away for the sake of my emotional health or try to stick it out and hope he sees reason before it ends?