Mod Post // Discussion Question - The Ring

[missjecka]

How important is having an engagement or promise ring on your (or your SO's) finger?

Does it in itself define the seriousness of the relationship? Would you ever doubt the future of your relationship - even if you've been together for a number of blissful years - if you/they didn't have a ring to show?

Any other on-topic thoughts are welcome.

Comments

[jamesalesto]

For us we really don't think it's all that important. He and I both know that we love each other dearly. But we have talked about getting very, very simple rings just to prove to the rest of the world that, yes, we are taken so go away.

[corollary]

I don't think it's important at all: a ring is something to show off, not a true gauge of the commitment between people.

[manga_maniac]

A ring isn't really the most important thing in your relationship. It's more like a physical connection rather then an emotional one.

If you're happy without, then don't worry about it. I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years now and we know there's a ring coming in the future... But for now we're perfectly content.

[xtoolchickx]

If I'm remembering correctly, were you the one that had a problem between your boyfriend and your roommate? And if so, how did things turn out?

[abitofanenigma]

My parents have never worn rings. They've been together for over 25 years.

It doesn't matter one bit. To me it's just jewelery, you can take it off so it's not hugely great as a symbol either (unless oyu put on weight and can't pull it off - then maybe). In a romantic sense it symbolises, to me, your commitment to your partner, but in the end the actions of your relationship and around this commitment are far more important.

I have a problem with rings, I'm highly sensitive to most metals and have to take jewelery off after a couple of hours wear, max. I can't wear chains/necklaces round my neck either. I won't be able to wear a ring for long periods of time, so this symbol would not work for me. This is why my mother does not wear hers, and my dad stopped wearing his when he realised it wasn't important.

[jegrasso]

This is off-topic, but, do you know what actually causes your irritation to jewelry? Which metals are you sensitive to? Lots of people with jewelery allergies can wear something inert like pure titanium or even 925 sterling, they just have to make sure they know exactly what's in the metal.

[abitofanenigma]

To be honest, having lived a jewelery free life I've not particularly motivated to find out what I can wear. Skin irritation aside I do not like the feeling of wearing something around my neck, wrist, finger etc - it's constricting and it makes me feel claustrophobic.

I don't like the look of jewelery either...especially 'expensive' or 'classic' looking jewelery...in an odd way I think it looks tacky. I prefer the look of costume jewelery because it's fun but of course it really irritates my skin because it tends to contain nickel.

I'm just not really into the stuff. Maybe if in the future I were to get a wedding ring and wanted to wear it i'd look into it, but at the moment I'm not too bothered, it's not high up on my list.

[kukla_red]

Ooo... sort of a touchy subject for me. I have this theory that there are women who get rings and things and women who don't. I seem to fall firmly into the latter category. I was engaged back in college and never received a ring from my fiance. When my (now ex) husband proposed to me, he also did not give me a ring although he knew I wanted one. He had said he was going to get one, but never did. Finally he told me if I really wanted one I could get one for myself, which I did - a lovely three-pearl ring. That tells you something about the marriage

[tacky_tramp]

That doesn't sound like you're a "woman who doesn't get rings." It sounds like you're a woman who dates men who can't or won't get you rings, either due to their financial situation or perspective on gift-giving.

[kukla_red]

Ah well... either way, I've learned that if I want something, I have to make sure I have the earning power to get it for myself. And I do :-)

[kukla_red]

O... one other thought. My ex did buy jewelry for other women he dated after we divorced. So perhaps it is just me.