Comments | datinandrelatin: Dating and relating after a breakup?

shetheliving in datinandrelatin

Dating and relating after a breakup?

Jun 21, 2007 12:27

I broke up with my boyfriend of almost 10 months about 2 weeks ago. The first week & a half was hell, but the last few days I find myself barely thinking about him and really realizing that our relationship was so dysfunctional and needed to end. Part of me feels like if I took it really slow with a guy I met in the next few weeks, it would be ( Read more... )

breakups, moving on, time to recover

Comments 9

regen June 21 2007, 17:49:04 UTC

It was about six months afterwards before I was ready to attempt another serious relationship, after my ex and I broke up.

missjecka June 21 2007, 19:05:42 UTC

In the past 6 years of my life, I've never been single for more than a month at a time. I've had 5 boyfriends in this time, 4 of which were in high school (1 being my prom date that developed into a 5-month relationship).

missjecka June 21 2007, 19:07:40 UTC

Wow, I forgot how old I was for a second. That should be "In the past 7 and a half years of my life..."

dayglow June 21 2007, 19:56:28 UTC

I think it depends on all sorts of factors. How bad was the breakup? Were you really serious? How serious are we talking (engagement, close-to-marriage, or just exclusive)? Do you feel mentally stable? That sort of stuff ( ... )

shetheliving June 21 2007, 20:17:15 UTC

it's really a bizarre situation -- i feel like it probably was over for at least a month before it "officially" ended. i ended it, then immediately asked for him back; a week after, he told me he didn't want to try again. so in a way i was both the dumper & the dumpee. and we had backhandedly discussed having a very long future together, but "exclusive" was the most we ever defined things as. so we were kind of in-between on a lot of things.

however, because the whole relationship had been more iffy than either of us would've liked to admit, i do feel like i'm recovering a lot quicker than i maybe should be from my first serious relationship. i feel like i've figured out pretty quickly what went wrong and what things i need to alter in my next relationship. i feel like there's still emotional baggage there, but it is definitely not as heavy as expected.

so we'll see. i'm going to put myself back out there pretty soon, and we'll see what happens when/if i go on a date or see things getting kind of serious quickly. thanks for your

mightyjesse June 21 2007, 20:39:08 UTC

When you can see a guy as just a guy and not instantly compare him to your ex or envision a relationship with him because you're lonely, you're ready.

When you just see a guy as the collection of good stuff and bad stuff in your past with THAT GUY and only THAT GUY... Then it's the right time... When you can't see a guy without filtering him through your experiences with previous guys... That's when it's not good.

At least for me.

iawtc emmylia June 30 2007, 06:18:44 UTC

This is really good advice.

craigisace June 22 2007, 08:15:07 UTC

"i do feel like i'm recovering a lot quicker than i maybe should be"
Don't sweat it - everyone is different, noone can say when you 'should' be feeling any ways. If you feel up for it, then go for it. If you want to take alittle time, out that's sweet too. All the best to you.