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[whitechii]

i want to have an equal realtionship with my bf (who is maybe the One) so im not sure how that works. i feel like he basically takes care of me which is fine but i feel like i should contribute more.

im not sure how. though. is it enough that we enjoy each others company?

Comments

[everyytime]

I've felt that exact same way in a relationship before. Exact same way. And he may say that it's enough, but is it really? I don't know that, even to this day. You probably are to him more than you think you are. By that I mean that you support him in ways that you are unaware of. You said that he takes care of you, that might make him feel important and needed whereas he may not feel that otherwise (just an example). Have you tried talking to him about it? Seeing what he has to say?

[prease]

To add onto this, I know someone who told me he used to pay for everything for his ex. Then in a separate conversation he said doing so made him feel needed/useful during a time when he was working a job he didn't like and felt kind of hopeless.

[inside_my_skin]

Treat him to a date once and a while. Make him his favourite meal, give him a backrub, really make the effort to try something he likes to do but you've never done before.

Anyway, just try to take care of him like he takes care of you and take an interest in his life. That's all I can think of! Good luck!

[xtoolchickx]

At least from what the guys I've dated or been in a relationship has said, they tell me that making me happy is what makes them most happy. And I don't think they're just 'saying' that, either. As long as you show your appreciation in your words and face when he does something caring for you, I'm sure that's what makes him happy. But even just to spice up the relationship, you can think of little things to do; offer to clean around his place or wash the dishes, make him a homecooked meal, take him out on a date, plan a surprise picnic, things like that I'm sure he'll appreciate. And of course be there to congratulate him if he's happy about something, and be there to listen when he's stressed out or upset. Good luck!

[tail_fear]

You may feel like you need to contribute more, but as others have already said, he may not.

I would talk to him about it, and just explain that while you love how he takes care of you, you need to do something to help out.

I often feel this way with my boyfriend, so to help out I offer to run by the store (or anywhere else on the way) on the way to his place if he needs anything, or I offer to cook dinner or breakfast for him. I do what I can to help out, even if it is just staying out of the way when he's busy or handing him tools if he's fixing something.

Sometimes it really is the little things that count.

[nettabie]

You don't give much detail so it's hard to say. Yes, it's "enough" that you enjoy each other's company as long as you're both happy - but if you feel like doing more for him, do more! Take him out for a nice dinner, buy him gifts, whatever. If he feels like it's his place to pay for everything you do together, get him little presents. I'm sure you can think of something he'd like. ;)