014 ♚ video | backdated to sunday cuz i'm lame

[soloing]

[If you thought Jacen looked strung out in his last broadcast, you ... were right.  But now things look even worse.  Maybe because instead of just angstiness, Jacen wears a look of determination on his face that's kind of scary, considering this guy just

killed the woman he loves.

But you know.  Everyone copes differently. o_o ]

As promised, I've

Comments

[tronja307020]

[He just stares for a moment, not sure what to say, but wishing he could help. He's so tired of seeing people have to hurt, inside and each other. And he can't even imagine what kind of pain he would have felt, had he had to go through the same thing with Yori. He's thankful the Grid never had a virus like they're experiencing here.]

I'm sorry, JacenSolo.

[And that's all he can think to say. More and more, his slightly-awkward social responses leave him feeling uncomfortable and frustrated that he can't be better at this comforting thing. It happens so often, now.]

[soloing]

[As much as he understands what Tron means, he can't help but feel like this is exactly what he meant by 'meaningless platitude'.]

I've had a lot of experience with pain. But this is a new kind of torture.

[illjustdieagain]

Life's full of shit and then you die? Unless you're me and have that whole immortality thing going for ya. Then there's just more same old boring shit.

[soloing]

You make it sound like you'd end it if you could.

[illjustdieagain]

I've seen some fucked up shit, mate. It's all Easter bonnets and hotcross buns until someone gets a lightsaber rammed through their head.

[soloing]

But does that make it not worthwhile to you to keep going?

[private - video]

[imwotchingyou]

[ Again, she'll ask... ]

Is there anything I can do for you Jacen?

[private - video]

[soloing]

Tell me your opinion.

[private - video]

[imwotchingyou]

We do what we have to do Jacen. I'm afraid if you want something more philosophic, you're going to have to be a bit more specific.

[private - video]

[soloing]

I've learned quite a bit about pain in my experiences. Physical pain, emotional pain. But this level of sacrifice... sacrificing others...

private }{ through end

[slayerdom]

There's no meaning in death. Only pain. [ A beat. ] I'm sorry.

[soloing]

Except there's meaning in pain.

[slayerdom]

What, then? Enlighten me. 'Cause it's been years since I had to do it, and I still haven't managed to figure out what lesson is supposed to come from the pain of killing your lover-turned-monster. [ She's not being particularly aggressive, just a little defensive and discouraged. Killing her friends isn't something with deep educatey meaning for her -- just something that she wishes she had to do less. ]

[soloing]

That's a particularly complicated lesson to explain. I'm not sure there are really words to explain it. My last guide would often tell me that everything she said to me was a lie. I think, in some ways, she had to approach it that way: there aren't words large enough to encompass the truth, just its opposite.

[But he breaks out of his thoughtful reverie to realize what you just said] ... What happened before?

[pathtoatonement]

[A pause. He feels bad for Jacen, but he also doesn't exactly understand what he's asking]

This didn't have any meaning. It's just people with power thinking they can use it to hurt other people, so they can get what you want. Maybe that's meaning, but I don't think there's anything deep or - or meaningful about it.

I'm sorry though, Jacen. It's not fair.

[soloing]

I didn't ask for it to be fair. I just want to understand how a Jedi's supposed to view this.

[pathtoatonement]

Jedi trying to separate themselves from ordinary people is what gets us Sith. You're still a person. Just - I don't know. I don't think you should be trying to get other people to tell you how to view something like this. If you want someone else to give it meaning, it wouldn't exactly be...yours? [sorry bro, he's trying 8|]

[soloing]

It's a little disturbing when the things you say make sense. No offense, Durron.