It's all in my head

[datan0de]

I had a minor realization this morning that I think shines a new light on my current tribulations.

If you went back in time 6 years you'd find that I had a general sadness about me. It wasn't pervasive and all-encompassing, but it was clearly there. The reason was plain; my family had broken up. The Smoosh (as that incarnation was called): redheadlass, femetal, and

Comments

[violet_flames]

I think it's a really positive step to realize that it's in your head and it's a matter of perspective. Everyone of lives in their head, so saying something is in your head still means it is your current reality. One thing that I think helps me is to realize that reactions are normal and even predictable to some extent. However, just because something is normal it doesn't mean one can't work hard to get to the next normal step and so on. (And also be easy on oneself, because desiring the next step is not equal to obtaining the next step

[compass_rose]

I'm handy with a shovel and good at filling holes.

Honestly, I really enjoy spending time with you and have enjoyed getting back in touch with you again. While not a part of the poly smoosh, I love being your friend and would relish being a more active part of your life.

[datan0de]

I'm handy with a shovel and good at filling holes.

You've always been my go-to person for wet work, but in this case I have no ill intent whatsoever. If I could flip a switch and fall out of love then I think I'd be much happier, but falling out of love is not a skill I've ever developed, and in this case the love goes to the core. (I suspect that this is what a blood bond or love potion would feel like. It's awful.)

And yes! There needs to be more Rune Child in my life/our lives! I realize that scheduling is a nightmare, but there needs to be a way to make it happen. I'd love to make the Shared Suffering Night a regular thing, and possibly intersperse it with positive experiences like sushi and bad movie grief counseling.

Let's not fall off of each other's radars, okay? I can give you access to my Google calendar if that'll help. Just remember that "Flensing Night" is a solid commitment that I dare not miss. ;-)