doctor who fic: Belief (1/1)
Title: Belief (1/1)
Author: dashafeather
Beta: The wonderful cookie2697
Rating: PG
Characters: Tenth Doctor/Rose, Ida Scott, Zach Cross Flane, Danny Bartock, Toby Zeb
Word Count: 1,409
Disclaimer: Doctor Who is copyright of the BBC.
Summary: Tensions run high between the Doctor and Rose as they come face to face with losing one another.
Spoilers: Up to The Satan Pit.
Authors Notes: Written for the Doctor/Rose Time-in-flux ficathon over at doctor_rose_fic. Each author was given an episode to rewrite so that the Doctor and Rose end up together and I was given ‘The Satan Pit’, which being one of my favourite episodes ever, both thrilled and terrified me. I probably spent too much time panicking over it all, hence why it’s a bit short.
---
…the lost girl, so far away from home. The valiant child who will die in battle so very soon.
“What about you, Doctor?” he heard Ida pause, her voice steady, her tone easy, despite what was to come. “What do you believe in?”
The Doctor paused, looking around, through the darkness. He couldn’t help thinking of all he’d seen, all he’d done; yet through it all… there was no god, no religion he felt compelled towards. And there were so many religions… billions in this one universe. All diverse, all believing in something outside of what was. Never had he felt compelled to believe in anything outside his own science.
Or almost never.
“I believe…” he swallowed, a heavy breath escaping him, “that I haven’t seen everything yet. I don’t know…”
He still hadn’t seen anything yet. And if he died in here he never would.
He looked down into the chasm, but there was nothing to see - black darkness, with no bottom in sight. He spoke quietly, deliberately, and thought back to the beast. He swallowed. That thing had known him. It had known him; it had known every crewmember on that rocket (“…die in battle, so very soon.”). He couldn’t afford to believe in the devil; he couldn’t afford to believe what that thing had told them.
And his faith was strong.
He looked upwards, even though the woman above couldn’t see him. “Thank you, Ida.”
“Don’t go!” Her voice was panicky; there was such a high chance that she would die up there, alone.
He looked back down. Rose would be way up above, and he could tell himself, he could convince himself, that she was all right. There were so many regrets, because if she survived- No. Not if. When. Because what was the point of anything if she didn’t survive this? When she escaped here, what would she do then? She was billions of miles, five hundred years, away from her home planet.
“If you get back in touch,” he said quietly, his face lifting to Ida. “If you talk to Rose.” He opened his mouth. “Just tell her…” (I miss you. Forget me. Don’t forget me. I’m sorry.) “Tell her I…” (lov-)
He swallowed, and smiled slightly. He remembered yesterday morning when she’d giggled at him for breaking the toaster; last week when they’d laughed until they couldn’t breath; the way she noticed him looking at her when they snuggled up on the sofa in the TARDIS. “Oh, she’ll know.” And without another word, he fell into the dark.
…
She knows
“Doctor?” She paused, out of breath and heart beating furiously. “Doctor? Ida? Can you hear me?” Her heart was drumming so hard; it almost matched the static coming from the comm she was holding. “Doctor? Are you there, Doctor?” Her throat felt like it was on fire.
Then she heard a voice, but as glad she was that Ida was okay, it wasn’t the one she wanted to hear.
“He’s gone,” Ida said, sounding defeated, and Rose felt her blood run icy cold.
“What do you mean ‘he’s gone’,” Rose whispered. Her hands were shaking.
“He fell,” she said, and her voice was shaking slightly, “into the pit. And I don’t know how deep it is - miles and miles and miles.”
“But…” She couldn’t think; her mind was screaming, and a powerful truth seemed held within Ida’s words, yet she still could not believe that. The very thought… “What do you mean he fell?” Her voice broke; the Doctor had to be all right; he was important, he was everything… he was - he was her-
“I couldn’t stop him,” Ida sounded like she needed Rose to understand. She hesitated, then whispered, “He said your name.”
Rose couldn’t have said anything to that, even if she’d tried. Everything was suddenly very full and empty all at once, and her throat constricted further. Zach took the comm away from her. He might have said something (offered his condolences) she didn’t know, she couldn’t see or hear anything above the aching beat of her heart.
Danny, Zach and the others began speaking, and she found herself staring ahead at nothing. Memories of the Doctor, laughing and grinning and talking, ran through her head like pictures on a film. And yet she could not believe that he was gone. He wasn’t. He was just below her, using his enormous brain to get out of that pit down there. Because if she didn’t have that faith now, what did she have?
Zach was all business, barking out orders. They were moving she realised, leaving. And they expected her to go with them. She faced Zach fully, trying to ignore the tightness in her heart. She wasn’t leaving here; she knew that for a fact. “I’m not going,” she said.
But Zach misunderstood. “There’s a place for you, too, Rose,” he told her, trying perhaps, to reassure her.
“No,” she said. “I’m gonna wait for the Doctor.” She swallowed and for a moment she remembered haunted blue eyes. “Just like he waited for me.”
Zach stared at her. “I’m sorry, but… he’s dead.” His voice gentle when he spoke, but it cut her further than a knife, having it said out loud.
“You don't know him. 'Cause he's not...” Rose tried and failed to force back the tears. “I'm telling you, he's-- he's not... and even if he was,” she felt herself breaking, and admitting the possibility felt like something was dying inside, “how could I leave him? All on his own, all the way down there?” She raised her head, determined now. “No. I'm gonna stay.”
Zach looked at her sadly for a moment. Finally, he spoke, “Then I apologise for this.” Her throat caught and she fought back against the men, shouting - rebelling. But before she could even murmur the Doctor’s name, she felt darkness engulf her.
…
If I believe in one thing… just one thing… I believe in her!
Her face, smiling from ear to ear, and seeing her there in front of him… that was what made it real. So much relief exploded inside of him that he thought he might just burst with it. He moved, faster than necessary, and took her into his arms; his entire body was almost shaking with the joy, with having her there, alive.
His arms swept her up, and before he could think about it, before he could register what it might do, what it might mean, he bent forward and he pushed his lips against hers. Fire exploded within, and everything she touched was burning, electric; he felt the heat crush him, passion flooding his senses. Her heart against his chest was loud, pulsing.
When they pulled back for air she looked amazed, and for a moment all they can do was stare at one another. Her gaze, eyes filled with something he couldn’t decipher (so odd when she was usually such an open book to him), was almost too much, and he looked away, swallowed, suddenly worried about her reaction.
“Sorry,” he breathed, eyes nervous. “Sorry, I…”
She didn’t let him go on, her fingers covered his lips and her nose bumped against his as she leaned in to take away his words. The kiss was softer, gentler, yet more needed, even less careful. He ran his hand through her hair. He was very aware of the spacesuit he was wearing; too many layers away from her.
She wrapped her arms around him, moulded together as one, and she pulled back to meet his gaze. “ I thought you were-” She stopped, almost choking on the words. She breathed heavily into his neck.
He swallowed. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. He took a breath, heavy - full of a thousand words, all wanting to escape at once. “Rose… I-”
“Doctor.” She pulled him even tighter to her, kissed his neck before looking up at him. “I already know.”
He nodded at her, suddenly smiling. He closed his eyes, knowing he would need this moment forever in his memory. Rose, his light against the darkness.
They should leave, though. He wanted to get as far away from this place as possible, but he couldn’t seem to move away from her. “We have all of time,” he heard her whisper.
He smiled. “And space.”
When she pulled back she was touching his lips with her soft fingers. “Together.”
He nodded. He couldn’t think of anything better.
Author: dashafeather
Beta: The wonderful cookie2697
Rating: PG
Characters: Tenth Doctor/Rose, Ida Scott, Zach Cross Flane, Danny Bartock, Toby Zeb
Word Count: 1,409
Disclaimer: Doctor Who is copyright of the BBC.
Summary: Tensions run high between the Doctor and Rose as they come face to face with losing one another.
Spoilers: Up to The Satan Pit.
Authors Notes: Written for the Doctor/Rose Time-in-flux ficathon over at doctor_rose_fic. Each author was given an episode to rewrite so that the Doctor and Rose end up together and I was given ‘The Satan Pit’, which being one of my favourite episodes ever, both thrilled and terrified me. I probably spent too much time panicking over it all, hence why it’s a bit short.
---
…the lost girl, so far away from home. The valiant child who will die in battle so very soon.
“What about you, Doctor?” he heard Ida pause, her voice steady, her tone easy, despite what was to come. “What do you believe in?”
The Doctor paused, looking around, through the darkness. He couldn’t help thinking of all he’d seen, all he’d done; yet through it all… there was no god, no religion he felt compelled towards. And there were so many religions… billions in this one universe. All diverse, all believing in something outside of what was. Never had he felt compelled to believe in anything outside his own science.
Or almost never.
“I believe…” he swallowed, a heavy breath escaping him, “that I haven’t seen everything yet. I don’t know…”
He still hadn’t seen anything yet. And if he died in here he never would.
He looked down into the chasm, but there was nothing to see - black darkness, with no bottom in sight. He spoke quietly, deliberately, and thought back to the beast. He swallowed. That thing had known him. It had known him; it had known every crewmember on that rocket (“…die in battle, so very soon.”). He couldn’t afford to believe in the devil; he couldn’t afford to believe what that thing had told them.
And his faith was strong.
He looked upwards, even though the woman above couldn’t see him. “Thank you, Ida.”
“Don’t go!” Her voice was panicky; there was such a high chance that she would die up there, alone.
He looked back down. Rose would be way up above, and he could tell himself, he could convince himself, that she was all right. There were so many regrets, because if she survived- No. Not if. When. Because what was the point of anything if she didn’t survive this? When she escaped here, what would she do then? She was billions of miles, five hundred years, away from her home planet.
“If you get back in touch,” he said quietly, his face lifting to Ida. “If you talk to Rose.” He opened his mouth. “Just tell her…” (I miss you. Forget me. Don’t forget me. I’m sorry.) “Tell her I…” (lov-)
He swallowed, and smiled slightly. He remembered yesterday morning when she’d giggled at him for breaking the toaster; last week when they’d laughed until they couldn’t breath; the way she noticed him looking at her when they snuggled up on the sofa in the TARDIS. “Oh, she’ll know.” And without another word, he fell into the dark.
…
She knows
“Doctor?” She paused, out of breath and heart beating furiously. “Doctor? Ida? Can you hear me?” Her heart was drumming so hard; it almost matched the static coming from the comm she was holding. “Doctor? Are you there, Doctor?” Her throat felt like it was on fire.
Then she heard a voice, but as glad she was that Ida was okay, it wasn’t the one she wanted to hear.
“He’s gone,” Ida said, sounding defeated, and Rose felt her blood run icy cold.
“What do you mean ‘he’s gone’,” Rose whispered. Her hands were shaking.
“He fell,” she said, and her voice was shaking slightly, “into the pit. And I don’t know how deep it is - miles and miles and miles.”
“But…” She couldn’t think; her mind was screaming, and a powerful truth seemed held within Ida’s words, yet she still could not believe that. The very thought… “What do you mean he fell?” Her voice broke; the Doctor had to be all right; he was important, he was everything… he was - he was her-
“I couldn’t stop him,” Ida sounded like she needed Rose to understand. She hesitated, then whispered, “He said your name.”
Rose couldn’t have said anything to that, even if she’d tried. Everything was suddenly very full and empty all at once, and her throat constricted further. Zach took the comm away from her. He might have said something (offered his condolences) she didn’t know, she couldn’t see or hear anything above the aching beat of her heart.
Danny, Zach and the others began speaking, and she found herself staring ahead at nothing. Memories of the Doctor, laughing and grinning and talking, ran through her head like pictures on a film. And yet she could not believe that he was gone. He wasn’t. He was just below her, using his enormous brain to get out of that pit down there. Because if she didn’t have that faith now, what did she have?
Zach was all business, barking out orders. They were moving she realised, leaving. And they expected her to go with them. She faced Zach fully, trying to ignore the tightness in her heart. She wasn’t leaving here; she knew that for a fact. “I’m not going,” she said.
But Zach misunderstood. “There’s a place for you, too, Rose,” he told her, trying perhaps, to reassure her.
“No,” she said. “I’m gonna wait for the Doctor.” She swallowed and for a moment she remembered haunted blue eyes. “Just like he waited for me.”
Zach stared at her. “I’m sorry, but… he’s dead.” His voice gentle when he spoke, but it cut her further than a knife, having it said out loud.
“You don't know him. 'Cause he's not...” Rose tried and failed to force back the tears. “I'm telling you, he's-- he's not... and even if he was,” she felt herself breaking, and admitting the possibility felt like something was dying inside, “how could I leave him? All on his own, all the way down there?” She raised her head, determined now. “No. I'm gonna stay.”
Zach looked at her sadly for a moment. Finally, he spoke, “Then I apologise for this.” Her throat caught and she fought back against the men, shouting - rebelling. But before she could even murmur the Doctor’s name, she felt darkness engulf her.
…
If I believe in one thing… just one thing… I believe in her!
Her face, smiling from ear to ear, and seeing her there in front of him… that was what made it real. So much relief exploded inside of him that he thought he might just burst with it. He moved, faster than necessary, and took her into his arms; his entire body was almost shaking with the joy, with having her there, alive.
His arms swept her up, and before he could think about it, before he could register what it might do, what it might mean, he bent forward and he pushed his lips against hers. Fire exploded within, and everything she touched was burning, electric; he felt the heat crush him, passion flooding his senses. Her heart against his chest was loud, pulsing.
When they pulled back for air she looked amazed, and for a moment all they can do was stare at one another. Her gaze, eyes filled with something he couldn’t decipher (so odd when she was usually such an open book to him), was almost too much, and he looked away, swallowed, suddenly worried about her reaction.
“Sorry,” he breathed, eyes nervous. “Sorry, I…”
She didn’t let him go on, her fingers covered his lips and her nose bumped against his as she leaned in to take away his words. The kiss was softer, gentler, yet more needed, even less careful. He ran his hand through her hair. He was very aware of the spacesuit he was wearing; too many layers away from her.
She wrapped her arms around him, moulded together as one, and she pulled back to meet his gaze. “ I thought you were-” She stopped, almost choking on the words. She breathed heavily into his neck.
He swallowed. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. He took a breath, heavy - full of a thousand words, all wanting to escape at once. “Rose… I-”
“Doctor.” She pulled him even tighter to her, kissed his neck before looking up at him. “I already know.”
He nodded at her, suddenly smiling. He closed his eyes, knowing he would need this moment forever in his memory. Rose, his light against the darkness.
They should leave, though. He wanted to get as far away from this place as possible, but he couldn’t seem to move away from her. “We have all of time,” he heard her whisper.
He smiled. “And space.”
When she pulled back she was touching his lips with her soft fingers. “Together.”
He nodded. He couldn’t think of anything better.