TWC: Chapter 7 - High Crimes and Misdemeanors

[das_mervin]

Title: The Wedding Crashers (7/12)
Author: Das Mervin and Mrs. Hyde
Betas: gehayi and kermit_thefrog
Fandom: Twilight/Supernatural
Rating: R for language, themes, violence, and sexual innuendo
Word Count: 8,285
Summary: After two years on her own, and two more as a hunter with Sam and Dean Winchester, Leah thought she’d escaped her old life at La Push. But when she’s

Comments

[emmram]

Yaaay, Dean!! I was waiting for this. I was sniggering through most of this chapter.

I love how you twisted perhaps TW's most notorious paragraph into the first para of this chapter. Just a tiny mistake there, though: it's "hara-kiri", not "hari-kari."

Ah, god, the CEREMONY. Even I was fidgeting the whole time I was reading it. It's just like them to make it so goddamn elaborate and pretentious, isn't it?

Keep up the great work!

[emmram]

Yeah, so, I checked it out, and hara-kiri can also be spelt hari-kari. My bad.

[das_mervin]

Yay Dean, indeed. He is just a total smartass, perfect for trashing Meyer's bad taste.

Thanks. I hate that paragraph SO MUCH, you have no idea. If we were gonna trash TW, I had to trash that part along with it.

Oh, you know it is: it's just like Bella's birthday party, her graduation party, her wedding, their clothes, their cars, their house...EVERYTHING.

We'll try! Glad you're enjoying it!

[carey_pontmercy]

I love you so much. This is fucking awesome. The way that you described that parade of bad taste was a comic masterpiece. Also, I haven't even read Twilight (well, except for the first book, and I've seen all the movies and read several detailed recaps, but you know what I mean) and I've seen all of two episodes of Supernatural (the one with the teddy bear and one where either Sam or Dean got captured by this weird...skin monster thing...I don't remember it that clearly), but I enjoy this so much.

[das_mervin]

Aw, thank you! Just me sticking it to all that crap in the books. Gawd, I hate the Cullens. And I can promise you: I was doing my best to stick to TW canon. They really are that awful.

We're glad! We were trying to make it so that even if you weren't totally familiar with the canons, you could still enjoy the spite!

Thanks for reading! I hope you like the rest!

[madeleine27]

Well, I must admit I didn't like the first part of the chapter. It had too much telling and it took the attention away from the showing. I think Sam's perspective was better at showing how horrible everything was. However, it got much better later and I really loved the tic-tac-toe scene and the ceremony was so much like the usual Smeyer puke-worth crap. The Castiel-Carlisle scene made me giggle. I would so love to see the good doctor's face if he knew the truth. XD

[das_mervin]

Aw, that's okay. It is a different style than the others. Really, the tone here was much closer to the fic as we originally conceived it, much more of a parody. But the more we wrote, the more srs bzns it became. And for that, you're right--Sam is a much more serious guy than his brother, and so was just right for all the more subtle but still horrible emotional abuse from the werewolves.

But the thing is, with the Meyerpires, they're just so ridiculously bad, so over the top, so completely lacking in class or taste, that there really isn't anything you can do but laugh at them. So we just let Dean sit back and quietly MST the TW-universe.

The rest of his chapters will be more showing, much more in the spirit of the second half that you enjoyed more. While we can laugh at how tasteless and stupid they are, there is a whole lot about them that is just as serious and awful that we'll show later. I hope it works better for you.

Thanks for reading!

[southerngaelic]

That's the best opening paragraph ever :D

And....just...holy Moses, I'd have chugged down two bottles of whiskey before the fucking duet (OH MY GOD NO).

WORST
WEDDING
EVER

And Quil? I'd like to see you try and wolf out on Dean. Please, take any excuse you need. I'd offer to clean up the pieces of you but I don't think angelic divine fire leaves that much left >:)

As always: <33333

[das_mervin]

Hee! Thank you. I want to stab myself in the eye any time I see that paragraph in canon, so it was cathartic to chew it up here.

Yeah. And I wrote it. *wants to die*

Heh. Cas would make short work of any of these assholes. But I am so not saying anything about what's coming up.

Thanks so much!

[angel_renoir]

OH DEAR LORD I AGREE WITH YOU DEAN!!!! If I had to attend a wedding like that, I would've DIED of boredom and would've driven my parents INSANE from constantly begging them to leave the damn party and go home. The stupidity and gaudiness of the ceremony is making me so angry just by reading about them >___<

I'd rather pay more attention to the signatures. What exactly is Enochian? :S I saw two characters/symbols that looked Chinese/Japanese, two characters that looked very Hebrew, and one that looked like Ancient Sumerian text (or whichever ancient civilization used the spiky nail-esque characters/letters/symbols). Is whatever language that was a mash of various written forms from all over the world?

[das_mervin]

And I had to write it. Hyde made fun of me. A lot. *kicks Hyde*

*Hyde steps in* Well, Enochian is a "real" language. It supposedly originates from the Biblical Patriarch Enoch, who some apocrypha states was taken to Heaven to speak on behalf of some fallen angels, and to do so was taught the divine language of Heaven, which was supposed to be the language spoken at the beginning of the world. In the 16th century Dee and Kelley supposedly recapitulated it, but modern linguists are dubious that it really is a legitimate language.

Anyway, in the SPN-verse, it's considered the language of angels and is used in various angelic spells, etc.

Mervin: *boots* Hyde talks too much.

Thanks for reading!

[angel_renoir]

I don't mind long-winded explanations :D I LOVE them!!! :D

I can see how Enochian is supposed to be the first language ever. It looks like a jumble of various languages because all those various written forms sort of "branched off" that one language after the Tower of Babel incident.