FIC: Development [Stargate: Atlantis]
TITLE: Development
DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of the SG:A characters. They belong to Gecko Productions, I believe? I could be wrong. Either way, they're not mine. Yes, I invented a character, and Rhea invented a few others, but other than that, not mine.
FANDOM: Stargate: Atlantis
WORD COUNT: 7,533
SPOILERS: Exposed AU. Assumes a certain event did not happen in "Sunday". Pre-S4.
RATING: PG-13
PAIRING: Radek/Rodney, with Radek/Carson and Rodney/Carson
SUMMARY: Carson still doesn't believe Radek and Rodney.
CHALLENGE: Written for the Czech is in the Male fic-a-thon.
PROMPT: Click here for details.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Forgive the title -- chess was part of the prompt. A very big thank-you goes out to Rhea, who helped co-write parts of this. Wouldn't've been possible without you.
***
Development (n). - In chess, the movement of pieces off one's first rank into a more centralized and advantageous position.
***
Carson didn't like mandatory psychiatric sessions.
It was a nice, sunny day, and for once, the city wasn't under siege, or threatening to explode, or a hundred other things that the city was given over to do whenever it felt that its inhabitants needed a good scare. Yes, he knew he was being unreasonable, but it took his mind off having to talk to Kate.
Kate Heightmeyer was a reasonable sort, but he chafed at the fact that he was under orders to speak to her at least once a week. Before the American military had been aware of his… unusual physique, the personnel in charge of hiring people had been more than happy to let him be the chief medical officer of the expedition. It was only at Elizabeth's insistence that he kept the post after his first full physical, and even then, he'd been ordered to see Kate when they saw how battered his extra appendages looked.
According to his medical file, they were labeled ‘bone spurs', but anyone with access to the file in question knew that they were wings, pure and simple. Grey feathers grew from the trunks of each wing, resembling Einstein's hair more than actual birds' wings. Had they been allowed to grow normally, Carson was sure that they would have been rather nice to look at.
As it was, they had been repeatedly broken and battered into shape during the six years it took for them to grow in completely, starting from when he was fourteen, and he'd had to live with the results for the past eighteen years.
Carson mentally braced himself, shaking his head. It wasn't going to be over any sooner with him standing out in the hallway, so he waved a hand over the door control, just in time to see Kate about to walk right into him. She stopped herself in time, and when she saw who it was, she smiled.
"Carson," Kate said warmly, standing back from the doorway as Carson walked in. "This is a pleasant surprise. I should try to head to lunch more often."
"Oh!" Carson said, looking abashed. "I hadn't realized you were going to get something to eat. I can come back later."
Kate shook her head. "And miss you voluntarily coming to see me? Or are you here on behalf of someone else?" she asked, smiling a little.
Carson shook his head. "No, it's about me this time."
"Then I definitely don't want to pass this up," Kate replied teasingly. "Do you want to sit down?"
"Aye, thank you," Carson said with some relief, following Kate before sinking down into the chair across from Kate's habitual seat with a sigh.
"Are you all right?" Kate asked, looking concerned. "You look tired."
"Aye, a bit. I've been working on the Wraith retrovirus, to see if it can't be improved upon," Carson replied.
"And avoiding Rodney and Radek?" Kate asked astutely, watching Carson carefully. He didn't disappoint.
With a wince, Carson sighed. "I still don't know why I told you about that."
"Because I'm supposed to be your psychiatrist," Kate offered. "Or it could be that I'm one of the few people you trust to talk to about your wings?"
Carson looked at her somewhat helplessly. "It shouldn't be this hard."
Kate shot him a sympathetic look. "Relationships are difficult to navigate even without…"
"Having a pair of wings," Carson finished for her. "Aye, I gathered that. It's just…" He shook his head. "I think it's the pair of them."
"The pair of them?" Kate's eyebrows rose.
"If it had been one or the other interested in a relationship, I might not feel so nervous. But they're already in a relationship, and they're both wanting me to join them," Carson explained. "It feels more like a game than a legitimate offer."
"You told me that both of them have mentioned that they were looking for something more permanent," Kate pointed out.
"Aye, they did, but how many times has anyone ever told that to a girl to get their way?" Carson said, arching both eyebrows.
"Do you think of yourself as a girl?" Kate asked curiously.
Carson groaned. "It's not like that, I swear. It's… boys are always chasing girls around when they're young, and it feels similar." He shook his head. "I hope I didn't give Jennifer this much grief."
'"Jennifer?" Kate prompted. "You mean the new doctor that recently arrived?"
Carson shot her a sour look. "No," he said patiently. "I'm referring to my first girlfriend. Her name was Jennifer McCarthy."
"Ah." Kate smiled. "Tell me about her. I know you've mentioned in the past the relationship didn't end well, but... what attracted you to her?"
Carson shrugged, mentally unclenching at the change in subject. He hadn't thought of Jennifer in years, but at least she didn't make him feel as nervous as he did whenever Rodney or Radek mentioned their offer. "We met at school - we were the same age, and all. I remember thinking that she was very pretty when I first saw her. She had lovely green eyes."
Kate nodded. "So, she was attractive. Was she friendly?"
"Oh, sure," Carson replied. "I ended up getting up the nerve to talk to her after she dropped her books in the hallway one time, and I helped her pick them up. After that, we ended up meeting each other in the lunchroom and talking about everything under the sun."
Kate's lips curled into a smile. "And then?"
"It took me three weeks to ask her out on a date, and she ended up having to ask me because I was tripping over myself so much," Carson smiled, cocking his head just a little as he meandered through his memory of that day. "And before y'ask, Jennifer was having a birthday party, and she was only inviting close friends for a small party. She told me at the party that she'd invited me because she despaired that I'd ever ask her out on a proper date."
Kate's smile widened again. "You went, then?"
"We slipped away for a little bit, and on the back porch, she kissed me," Carson's fond smile was a bit wistful. "I thought we'd gotten away from prying eyes, but just as the kiss was picking up, we both hear this cheering, and when we turned to look, all of her female friends are staring at us, grinning like fools. I can't remember ever being so embarrassed."
"How old were you?" Kate asked, laughing.
"Seventeen," Carson admitted, his smile turning sheepish. "And it had been her seventeenth birthday as well."
"It sounds very sweet, if you don't mind my saying so." Kate paused, giving him time to add anything. When he didn't, she prompted, "What happened later?"
Carson shrugged. "We dated for a few months, and when the summer break came, we saw each other at least once a week. It was exciting, new... and the more we saw each other, the more I wanted to get serious with her." At Kate's curious look, Carson shook his head. "Not marriage, not that young. I had already applied to universities to get into pre-med, and it wouldn't have been fair to her to start a serious relationship, and then leave her alone all that time."
"And?" Kate knew there was more.
Carson sighed. "We went driving one night, and Jennifer suggested the local spot where kids went to make-out or have sex. I'd had a little bit to drink, so I hadn't really thought about it, and so we drove. When we got there, we were talking, and then we were kissing, and then she wanted me to take my shirt off." Carson paused before continuing, "It felt good to be with her, and I figured that she'd understand -- she'd listened to me natter on about all sorts of things..." Carson shook his head.
"She didn't react well?" Kate guessed.
"Well, first, she was worried that I might've hurt myself, and that we'd driven all the way out there in the first place, but I told her that I was fine, and that it was nothing. But she insisted that she didn't want to hurt me, and it..." Carson sighed heavily. "I think that right there made me think that I could tell her, that she'd understand. So... I did."
Carson could still remember that night, the warm air, the feel of his father's car against his hands, the way her eyes glittered in the moonlight. He also remembered the way she frowned when he told her, and her look of stunned disbelief when he undid the bandages. The way her eyes widened, her lips parted, and then the disbelief disappearing, replaced by a distance that felt almost physical, like a yawning chasm that stretched miles between them.
"And she didn't understand."
It was a simple sentence, but Carson could feel himself get angry. "I have a pair of bloody wings," he snapped. "It's not likely that anyone is going to understand how it feels--" He stopped himself, wincing at the sharp pain in his back. Closing his eyes, he forced himself to relax, try to remain calm. Flexing his shoulders back, he sighed when the pain subsided.
Kate waited for him to calm down. "Is that what you're afraid of with Rodney and Radek? That since they know about the wings, it's only an attraction for something new?"
"Of course it's a concern," Carson replied, clenching his teeth briefly before easing his shoulders in slow circles, testing to see how much he could move. As much as he hated it, he might have to see Leslie to see if he'd need new bandages. "I've never wanted to be a sideshow attraction, nor have I wanted to be a novelty. It's why I've stayed effectively celibate for so long."
"Have you considered the possibility that they simply don't care about the wings? That it's you they want to invite into their lives, and that the wings aren't any more concern than a limp would be?"
Carson snorted. "I'd have a better time of believing that if they hadn't hacked into my medical file and seen the damage for themselves."
"You know they're like dogs with a bone when they get wind of a mystery," Kate reminded him. "They'd probably have done the same for anything 'new' that had happened to you."
"That gave them no right to do that," Carson muttered. Intellectually, he knew that Rodney and Radek were both tried-and-true scientists who would do anything to learn anything new, whether it be about Atlantis, the Pegasus Galaxy, or their friends, but it had still stung that they had invaded his privacy. It had been a topic he'd discussed with Kate before, but it had never helped the fact that he still felt betrayed.
Kate nodded. "Is that what's making you nervous about trusting their intentions are pure?"
Carson stared at her, and after a long moment, he sighed. Resting his arms just above his knees, he looked down at the table between them. "Partly," he admitted.
Kate nodded. "That's understandable. Have you talked about your feelings with them?"
Carson tried not to wince, but he was sure he'd failed miserably. "The retrovirus is far from complete," he said by way of explanation, even though he knew that it was a shitty excuse.
"I take it that's a no."
Carson sighed. "Kate, I knew I was never going to have a long-term relationship, and I certainly never anticipated a couple asking me for a threesome, of all things, so it's better to just leave them be. They'll forget about it after having to deal with a few catastrophes threaten the city, or they discover a way to recharge the ZPMs, or what have you, and then things can get back to normal."
"Let me ask you something." Kate met his gaze directly. "How much of it is your fear of rejection, and how much of it is your dislike of confrontation? If they're serious about a real relationship with you, they'll listen to you, discuss your feelings. Rodney might mouth off a bit, but he's Rodney. If they're not interested… then maybe you are a distraction. But you'll know."
Carson opened his mouth to answer her, but sighed heavily, gingerly straightening his back. "They were my friends before this nonsense started. I don't want to upset that friendship. These..." He paused, looking down as he massaged the back of his neck slowly. Lifting his eyes to look back at Kate, he said, "I can't do this, Kate. I've gotten myself in up to my neck, and every time I try to talk to them, I keep thinking that maybe, just maybe, it could work, but it can't."
"Why can't it?" Kate asked. "Wings aside, why can't it?"
"I'm already going to be the third wheel," Carson said firmly. "Even if I didn't have these, at the end of the day, it's the two of them, and they've decided to try something new. What kind of security is there? Who in their right minds ever has committed relationships with two people when they're complicated enough with just one person?"
"It's not a totally new phenomenon," Kate pointed out. "Tribal societies did it all the time."
Carson shot her an unamused look. "We're not a tribal society."
"In a way, we are," Kate said. "We're advanced, yes, but a closed community nonetheless, with societal roles, even if those are determined by our training."
"Aye, I'll grant you that, but we also have new personnel coming and going through Atlantis, as well as regular shipments from Earth because of the Daedalus," Carson pointed out. "We're not completely cut off, not like we were that first year we were here."
"No, but those of us who were here this first year have a different bond, a different view of things," Kate reminded him. "Back then, we were all each other had."
Carson nodded. "I'll grant you that as well, but it's a bit late for Rodney and Radek to have this sudden interest in me if it were due to our being isolated."
"Maybe it's not due to the isolation entirely." Kate shrugged. "They didn't start dating at first, either, but the bonds remain. How long did it take them to realize they had a relationship, that they weren't simply having sex? Is there a reason it wouldn't take longer for them to realize they felt someone was missing from the equation?"
"As near as I can tell, they still think they're just having sex," Carson snorted. "And they want to rope me into it as well."
Kate regarded him for a long moment. "You're not my inpatient, so I can't order you to do anything. And I'm not going to tell you whether or not to have sex with anyone. But, if I had to give some advice… don't hold yourself back. Live for the moment, do something crazy you normally wouldn't because it sounds like a good idea. Be reasonable, but… talk to them. Find out what they want. If it sounds like a good idea, move forward. If you're still not sure, don't. But you won't know anything until you talk."
Carson looked at her sourly. "Somehow, I knew you were going to say that."
"I call 'em like I see 'em." Kate shrugged.
Carson nodded, standing up. "I see. Well, thanks for the talk."
"Same time next week?" Kate asked as he headed for the door.
Carson paused, looking back at her. Sometimes, he wished she would forget to remind him. "Aye. Next week."
***
Despite Kate's advice that he take risks, the next few days found Carson still working in his office, the Wraith DNA under the microscope still arresting his attention. He knew that there had already been one shift change already since he'd started working, and Leslie had been making noises about having him forcibly removed from his office to get some rest, but Carson knew that if he left now, he'd start thinking about Rodney and Radek, and try as he might, he couldn't stop himself from instinctively shying away from them. Here in his lab, things made sense, and as long as he stayed here, he didn't feel so… adrift.
Carson's radio activated -- Rodney, sounding frantic, though that wasn't necessarily unusual. "Carson, there was an explosion in the lab. I'm bringing Radek in."
"Oh, bloody hell," Carson muttered to himself. "Is he conscious?"
"Yes, he is." Radek broke in suddenly. "He is also fine."
Carson frowned. Conscious and aware -- well, that was a good sign. And while he tended to trust Radek's assessments of his physical condition, he wanted to make sure that Radek was well and truly fine. "Rodney, is he ambulatory?"
"He's--" Rodney broke off. "Dammit, Radek, get back here!"
Despite himself, Carson chuckled a little. "How far are you from the infirmary?"
"Maybe a couple minutes, once I get Dr. Death Wish headed the right direction?" Rodney guessed.
Carson smiled fondly. If there was something that he appreciated about Rodney and Radek, it was that there was never a dull moment with them around. "Radek, if there's been an explosion, it's best that you come in and get examined to make sure you're not badly injured."
"It's a scratch and a bruise," Radek replied. "I am not dying, despite what Rodney seems to think."
"Still," Carson said sympathetically, adding a hint of firmness to his tone, "it doesn't hurt to get a second opinion, right?"
"Fine." Radek sighed. "We'll come, then you will see."
The radio chirped off, and by the time Rodney walked in with Radek at his side, resembling a cross between an avenging angel and a rather annoyed mother hen, Carson discovered with a sinking feeling that he was the only one available to deal with the two of them. He muttered a curse under his breath before smiling politely. "What seems to be the nature of the injuries?" he asked pleasantly.
"The nature of them is that they're nothing," Radek insisted.
Carson snorted, looking skeptical as he snapped on a rubber glove. "I'm sure, but it never hurts to check, hmm?"
Radek sighed, impatiently allowing Carson to look over a small cut on his arm.
Carson blinked down at the cut. "You're caught in an explosion, and all you've got is a cut?"
"I was on the far end of the lab," Radek explained, sighing and shooting a look at Rodney.
Rodney shot him an annoyed look back. "Oh, excuse me for worrying that the cut could get infected. You were hit with flying glass, if I recall correctly, and I do." He turned to Carson. "Doesn't it need stitches?"
"No, Rodney," Carson explained patiently. "It's just a scratch."
"What about his ribs, then, hmm?" Rodney asked. "He could've cracked one when he fell."
Carson raised both eyebrows at Radek.
"Carson, it is not--" Radek stopped, and when he saw that Carson's expression hadn't changed, he rolled his eyes, sighed, and lifted his shirt. "I didn't even fall hard," Radek complained. "The glass surprised me -- and hurt a little, despite the fact that the cut was minor -- and I tripped."
Carson nodded. "Well, it doesn't look too bad to me." He poked a bit. "If it keeps hurting you, let me know, but I don't see anything worrisome."
Radek arched an eyebrow at Rodney, who folded his arms across his chest and looked mutinous. "The cut could still get infected," he insisted.
"Aye," Carson agreed, "and the Wraith could attack any moment, too."
Rodney glared openly at Carson. "Very funny, Carson. Seeing as how all of your training in voodoo has amounted to a pat on the head and a lollipop, the least you could do is explain why--"
"Why it's not going to get infected?" Carson asked pre-emptively. He was fairly sure what Rodney really wanted to talk about, but this was neither the time or place. "We're going to treat it. Yes, the possibility exists, but if we clean it and stick on a plaster, it'll be fine."
"Are you being deliberately obtuse?" Rodney asked almost incredulously. "You've been avoiding us for the past--"
"Why don't you just hack my medical records and find out what I've been up to?" Carson snapped, immediately regretting it.
Rodney visibly paled, and his lips pressed into a thin, lopsided line. "I already apologized."
"I'm sorry. Forget I said anything." Carson did not want to have this conversation.
Radek glanced at Carson before turning back to Rodney, who looked ready to argue the point right there in the infirmary. "Rodney, would you give us some time alone?"
"But--" Rodney's protest died as he saw the look on Radek's face. Glaring back at him, he grated out, "Fine. I'll be outside."
Carson watched Rodney storm out of the infirmary before turning back to Radek. "Radek…"
"Rodney will be Rodney." Radek smiled fondly. "But we do need to talk. This bothers you, still."
Carson sighed. "It's... I'm still having trouble wrapping my head around it."
"Which part?" Radek asked, settling comfortably on the exam table.
"All of it?" Carson replied with a nervous smile. "If it's not my physical condition, then it's the fact that I feel like a third wheel already, and I don't feel comfortable with that."
"I've already told you, the physical condition, it doesn't matter." Radek smiled. "And, honestly, you do not give yourself enough credit -- or perhaps you give us too much. Is not all hearts and roses over here, so blissful we must share. I admit, it will take work, but you would hardly be in the way." His grin took on another shade of amusement. "In fact, you may be instrumental in helping me maintain my sanity."
Carson's answering smile was more pitiful. "It's the pair of you that are going to make me lose my sanity if we go through with this," he replied.
Radek cocked his head a little, regarding Carson curiously. "Interesting. What do you mean by that?"
Carson shot Radek a surprised frown. "You don't think you will? If it's not Rodney getting injured off-world, it'll be you in yet another lab explosion." He headed for a medicine cabinet, opened it, and got out some hydrogen peroxide, gauze, and a band-aid. Turning back to Radek, he set the band-aid down and opened the bottle. "You were lucky this time."
Radek nodded, knowing better than to argue with that. "Atlantis is not the safest of places, no. But that is not all I suspect that bothers you."
Carson sighed, wetting the gauze with the peroxide before dabbing at the cut gently. After the band-aid was firmly applied, he threw the gauze away and put the peroxide back in the cabinet. "Perhaps not." He shook his head, turning to look back at Radek. "I can't let go of the fact that you and Rodney hacked into my medical file."
Radek looked down for a moment before meeting his eyes again. "I'm sorry. We were worried about you, and, yes, I realize that was not the best way to get information. Were we to have it to do again...."
Carson wasn't sure what it was about the way Radek looked - it could have been the guilty look, or the way his eyes looked back at him, but he felt himself get annoyed. "The cat's already out of the bag, so there's nothing else that I've wanted to keep private," he said bitterly. "Feel free to have at it."
"No." Radek shook his head. "I wouldn't do it again."
Carson looked unimpressed. "I admire your restraint," he said sarcastically. "It should have been my choice whether or not to tell you, and you two should have been able to trust the medical staff to know what they were doing by not releasing any information about my physical state." He was about to keep going, but he stopped himself and shook his head firmly. "I'll not beat the dead horse anymore, so I'll leave you be, and if you'd extend me the same courtesy, I'd appreciate it."
Radek nodded, sighing deeply. He caught Carson's hand with his wrist. "I really am sorry. We never wanted to hurt you."
Carson looked him in the eye, and sighed heavily. "I know," he said simply. A long moment stretched between them before he asked, "What possessed you to make your... offer when you did?"
"We both care for you quite deeply," Radek said, "though, admittedly, Rodney has a harder time admitting it. Your... injury... simply drove the fact home."
Carson frowned, looking puzzled. "The fact that I have damaged wings inspired you to make your offer?"
"No, the wings, they have nothing to do with it." Radek shook his head. "You were hurt. We were worried, enough to take measures that we shouldn't have. I had considered it, idly, before, but had never discussed it with Rodney. But, I do not want us, all of us, to miss out on something that could be potentially very wonderful for us simply because it is non-traditional."
"The timing's a bit suspect, don't you think?" Carson asked dryly. "What am I supposed to think when you asked after having done what you did?"
Radek inclined his head. "Admittedly, the timing could have been better. But I wanted to ask before I lost the nerve."
Carson looked at him skeptically. "And what about Rodney?"
Radek couldn't help but chuckle. "Rodney has no sense of timing whatsoever in personal matters. You should know that."
Carson smiled a little. "Aye. I don't think I've ever met anyone more unaware of other people's feelings."
Radek shrugged. "You do get used to it. He makes up for it, in little moments that catch you by surprise."
"I'm sure he does," Carson replied.
"I am not forcing you to make decisions now," Radek said. "Only to consider the offer as genuine."
"I hear you." Carson nodded. "And if your arm or side start to hurt..."
Radek nodded as well. "Yes, I will come back, of course."
"Now, if you'll excuse me," Carson said briskly, snapping off his rubber gloves and throwing them away. "I've got some research to get back to."
Radek tried not to let his disappointment show. "Yes, of course. Good luck."
Carson nodded politely, heading back toward his office and forcing himself not to look behind him.
***
A week later, Carson was working in his office when he noticed it was getting warm. First, he tried to adjust the temperature by hand, but after half an hour, and the room getting hotter, not colder, Carson wiped at his forehead and keyed his radio. "Carson to Rodney, what's wrong with the temperature? I'm near boiling in my office."
A few minutes later, Carson asked, "Rodney, are you there?"
After a few minutes more of no answer, he removed the slide from his microscope and put it away carefully before wrestling out of his lab coat and hanging it up. Tugging at the collar of his shirt, he waved his hand over the door controls. When they bleeped back at him, and the door didn't budge, Carson frowned, concentrating firmly on the door and trying to think it open.
"Hello?" he called before keying his radio. "Carson to the infirmary, is anyone there?"
There was no response, only static.
"Bloody hell," Carson cursed. He slapped the door firmly a few times. "Hello! Is anyone out there?"
"Carson?" Leslie called from the other side of the door. "Are you all right in there?"
"Oh, thank God," Carson murmured. "Aye, I'm all right, but it's bloody hot in here, and I can't get the door open!"
"Our radios are down," Leslie shouted. "We sent someone down to Engineering to find out what the hell's going on. Main door's stuck but the entrance near the intensive care wing isn't."
"How're the patients doing?" Carson shouted back. "I can't imagine the heat's doing them any good."
"Sgt. Kensington is asleep," Leslie reported, "and we're all hot, but Dr. Deghani is doing fine despite that. Thank God we've only got two observations now and nothing serious. How're you?"
"I'm near boiling in here," Carson admitted, wiping his forehead with a grimace. "I've put away the work I've been doing, and turned off anything that doesn't need to be on to see if that'll keep the room cooler for longer, but I'd feel a lot better if the room were larger."
"Take off those bandages," Leslie advised. "They need to be kept dry and you're sure to be sweating."
Just as Carson was about to open his mouth to argue, Leslie shouted back, "Don't argue with me about this, Carson. You want to keep them, and they need to be kept dry. You're still healing, and keeping them compressed is just asking for infection."
Carson grimaced, this time not sure if he wanted to be this exposed while in his office. After a minute of debating with himself, he sighed heavily. "All right, but if the temperature goes back to a decent setting, they're going back on."
"Fine," Leslie agreed, "but not before then."
Carson grunted, reaching up and reluctantly taking wrestling out of his shirt. "I'm taking them off now."
After about twenty minutes, there were voices outside the door -- Rodney, and Radek, arguing. "--if the baby scientists haven't managed to boil him alive by now."
"Yes, yes, we get the door open, then we fix the temperature controls on this level, hmm?" Within seconds, the door slid open, causing Carson to jerk his head out of his hands and stare at them. The pair stopped short, the doors closing behind them.
A pregnant silence stretched between the three of them, Rodney and Radek staring at Carson, Carson staring back. At first, Carson had been puzzled as to why they were staring at him, but when he reached up to wipe his forehead with the back of his hand, he felt his left wing sag away from his back, reminding him that he felt sweaty all over. Not only was he sweaty, but he wasn't even wearing his bandages.
"Wow, that's just..." Rodney blinked and stared a bit with single-minded attention at Carson's front. "Hot, sweaty... that is a very nice picture right there. I might have to forgive them some idiocy. Any guy can grow chest hair; takes a real man to keep it off without waxing."
Radek raised an eyebrow. "And you would know that how?"
Rodney snorted. "Not like you would. You're a little furball."
Carson stiffened, wiping his face again. Trying to remain calm, he felt keenly aware of how far away his bandages were from where he was sitting, and how Rodney and Radek were still staring at him intently. Forcibly unclenching his teeth, he asked, "Would you mind giving me some privacy for a few minutes?"
"What? We were just--" Rodney started.
"--going now," Radek finished.
When Radek dragged Rodney protesting out of the office, Leslie slid inside, snapping on a pair of rubber gloves. "Let me get a look at you."
"They're fine, Leslie," Carson replied, watching the door close with an audible sigh of relief. Unclenching, he could feel his wings sag uselessly away from his back. "Really. I've kept them as dry as I could."
Leslie nodded, looking him over. "I'll go get some dry bandages. And before you ask, apparently some experiment some of the new scientists were running overloaded the temperature controls and half the doors on this level."
"Lovely. I'm sure Rodney is sure to give them all a good tongue lashing." Carson rolled his eyes, feeling her hands gently ease the appendages back and forth and touching some of the feathers. "How do they look?"
"They're healing well enough," Leslie reported. "You don't seem to have done much damage to them in here, though you could probably stand to take a good shower and let them dry properly before you bandage them up again."
Carson groaned. "I have three more hours on my shift."
"So go take a break, get some food, call it lunch. I know you haven't eaten yet." Carson could almost hear an arched eyebrow in her voice. "We're fine for staffing here."
Carson frowned at her over his shoulder. "Are you sure?"
"Positive," she said with exaggerated patience.
Carson sighed and stood up from the chair he'd been sitting in. "The bandages?" he asked, looking hopeful.
"I'll get them for you," she said, heading out.
Carson let out a relieved sigh, making a beeline for his shirt and lab coat, and slid one arm into the labcoat. It would be lighter and easier on his wings than his shirt would, sadly, but it gave some measure of protection. As much as he hated not being able to wrap the wings in bandages right that second, Leslie could be a terror if she thought he wasn't following orders.
As he slipped the other arm into the coat, he wished he didn't feel as exposed as he did. The door opened, and Leslie returned, holding fresh bandages.
"You'll be fine, Carson," Leslie assured him.
Carson arched a thick eyebrow at her, and held out his hand. "I'm sure. Are Rodney and Radek still in the infirmary?"
"No, they went to make sure everything else on this level is back online."
"Good," Carson nodded, accepting the bandages from her. "I'll be back in an hour or two."
"I'll see you then." She waved cheerily at him as she headed out.
***
The shower a few minutes later felt blissfully cool against his skin. Having been stuck in his office-turned-oven for over an hour had made Carson turn on the cold water full blast. Teeth chattering for a few minutes, he closed his eyes and ducked his head under the spray before turning around gingerly and allowing his wings to get drenched.
It took a bit of maneuvering to clean them. When he was younger, he'd taken to using a hard-bristled brush with a long handle, which had hurt almost as much as initially breaking them had. Nowadays, showering tended to take longer than usual as he awkwardly tried to stretch out his wings one at a time and try to dry them with a hand towel. They never felt truly dry afterwards, but since his body didn't produce a method to water-proof his wings, Carson was stuck. If he'd had the time, he would have stayed in his quarters until they felt dried all the way through, but he was needed back in the infirmary, and he was sure that he was close to something in his retrovirus research.
He stepped out of the shower and dried off, wrapping a towel around his waist before using a hand towel to dry off his slightly longer left wing. When he finished, Carson gritted his teeth and mentally prepared himself to try extending the more-severely damaged right limb.
Of course, that was when the door chimed.
"Hold on a moment," Carson grunted, easing a robe on over his shoulders, covering his chest and belting it closed before waving a hand over the door control. "Yes, what is it?" he asked perfunctorily before realizing that it was Rodney facing him.
"Oh, hi, Carson," Rodney blurted out, glancing down at Carson's chest and looking disappointed when he saw the bathrobe firmly in place. "I just wanted to let you know that the environmental controls are all fixed."
Carson blinked at him. "Leslie told me you were doing that, yes," he agreed slowly. "Is there anything else I can help you with, or did you come here for the sole purpose of staring at me?" As accusing as his question sounded, Carson tempered it with knowing look.
Predictably, Rodney drew himself up to protest. "I never get to see you with your shirt off - for obvious reasons, yes - so can you really blame me for wanting another peek? At your chest, I mean?"
Carson frowned. "My chest?"
Rodney looked at him with all of the patience of a five-year-old. "No, Carson, I wanted to see your feet," he sniped. "Yes, your chest. I think that for having to deal with baby scientists who nearly cooked you to death, I should get to see some skin."
"I see," Carson said slowly. "And where's Radek?"
"What do you mean, where's Radek?" Rodney asked, looking confused for a moment. "He's finishing some of the repairs, and then he's heading down to Lab Three to figure out what happened with one of the newer naquadah generators that the Daedalus brought on its latest run." At Carson's look, Rodney folded his arms across his chest and sniffed. "He got to make out with you first. I get to see some skin."
"I'd hardly call it ‘making out'," Carson snorted, both amused and annoyed at Rodney's attitude. "And what if I were to say no?"
"You wouldn't, would you?" Rodney blinked, as if the possibility that Carson might refuse to indulge him had never occurred to him.
Carson arched both eyebrows at him.
"Hey, the fact that I want to see your bare chest again -- and you really are going to have to tell me how you keep it hairless without waxing, because you don't strike me as the kind of guy who'd shave it all off -- you should take it as a compliment." Rodney rambled on, interjecting sentences within sentences, and looking much more confident in himself than he usually did. He looked almost smug. "And seeing as how Radek and I got treated to the exquisite sight of your chest due to idiot scientists who don't deserve to breathe air, let alone stay in Atlantis--"
"Did you have fun yelling at the scientists?" Carson asked quickly.
"Not really, because having to point out a person's incompetence to them because they don't realize it in themselves is a waste of time," Rodney huffed, "and you're changing the subject."
"Then how is it that you're even standing on my doorstep, demanding to see skin?" Carson frowned, looking curious.
"Well, since Radek has obviously gone insane and decided to give you ‘space'," Rodney added the requisite air-quotes, "I felt it was my responsibility to point out the fact that you're incredibly hot, especially shirtless. Yes, we saw the wings; no, we want to see more of your chest, because hot and sweaty is a lot more interesting than whether or not your tail-feathers need grooming."
Carson blinked. "I don't have tail-feathers."
Rodney rolled his eyes. "Are you really going to waste time arguing bird anatomy with me?" He made a come-on-I-don't-have-all-day motion with his hands. "Just a quick peek, and I'll go. Promise."
Carson stared at him, ready to tell him to bugger off, because he was nowhere near dry or drunk enough to stand around half-naked just for his amusement. What popped out of his mouth instead was, "Promise?"
Rodney grinned unrepentantly. "Absolutely. Come on." He made the impatient hand-motion again.
Carson shook his head. "I can't believe I'm doing this."
"And I can't believe you're taking this long," Rodney replied. "Come on, chop chop."
Carson looked at him in askance before taking hold of the lapels and pulling open the robe enough. When he saw Rodney's gaze lower almost hungrily, Carson jerked the robe closed again.
"Oh, come on," Rodney whined. "That wasn't even a peek!"
"You said a quick peek," Carson said firmly, feeling his cheeks getting red already. "Now, go on. I need to finish getting dressed so I can get back to work."
Rodney still looked disappointed, but instead of obliging Carson and backing away from the doorstep, he took a step closer, his expression growing serious. "I am serious, Carson. You're absolutely hot, and… y'know, that offer's still open." He shot Carson a hopeful look.
"Yes, Rodney, I know," Carson said patiently.
Rodney nodded quickly. "So, if you ever, well, change your mind about joining us…"
"I'll let you know," Carson nodded, feeling a sense of déjà vu. "I'll see you later, Rodney."
"Promise?" Rodney asked seriously. "Because you avoiding us really sucks."
Carson sighed, and nodded. "I promise. Now, really. It's getting chilly, and I need to get back to work."
Rodney frowned. "It's getting chilly? I could help with that--" At Carson's look, he looked disappointed again. "You can't blame me for trying, right?"
Carson blinked, and then chuckled briefly. "I guess not. I'll see you later, Rodney."
"Later, Carson," Rodney acknowledged, nodding. Hesitating a little, Rodney spared a wistful glance at Carson's chest before heading down the hallway. Just as the door closed, Carson heard him say, "Radek, you owe me a beer."
Shaking his head, Carson chuckled as he shrugged out of his robe and picked up the hand towel again, gritting his teeth as he slowly extended his right wing.
***
"Do you think it'll work?" Rodney asked, staring at the chessboard. After having replaced the loose connector in the generator a few hours ago, he and Radek had ended up in Radek's quarters in an unspoken agreement, and unlike their usual routine, where they screwed like rabbits and fell asleep until the ass-crack of dawn, they were sitting at Radek's one desk, the old, chipped chessboard sitting between them. Radek, predictably, was playing black - Rodney figured it suited Radek's brand of Bohemian evil - and Radek was pondering the board before moving a knight forward.
"If what you say is correct, we may have a chance, yes," Radek said, sounding distracted.
"If?" Rodney asked archly, moving a bishop across the board to take a pawn and threaten one of Radek's knights.
"This sort of thing will not happen overnight, Rodney," Radek replied. "It's already been weeks since we first made the proposal, and it is only now that Carson feels that he might start to believe we're genuine." That said, he moved the same knight as before and threatened Rodney's queen.
"We were genuine in our interest in the first place," Rodney objected, noticing the move, and moving his queen out of the way.
"But we've never seen him shirtless before," Radek pointed out, snatching up Rodney's unprotected queen with one of his bishops. "He left himself very vulnerable today, though it might have been due to the heat more than any choice of his."
"However it happened, we got to see him shirtless, and I for one still want to have wild sex with him," Rodney snorted, glaring at the pieces before glaring at Radek. "You were planning that from the beginning, weren't you?"
"About four moves ago, actually," Radek admitted, pointing at the board. "It is your turn."
Rodney shot him a sour look before moving a pawn forward. "So, what next?"
Radek arched an eyebrow at him. "You took a very big risk in badgering him. I think we should back off." Despite his words, he moved in for the kill, sliding a bishop over. "Check."
"Check? What do you mean--" He glared at the bishop and then at Radek, moving a knight back to block the bishop's line of fire. "Backing off let Carson avoid us even more."
"Would you rather be maneuvered into a corner and given no choice?" Radek asked archly, moving his queen over a few spaces.
"Yes, yes, I would," Rodney said in a tone that clearly meant that he wouldn't. He glanced down at the board, and then moved a bishop to threaten Radek's queen.
"No, you wouldn't," Radek snorted, moving his queen without hesitation to take Rodney's knight. "Checkmate."
Rodney blinked, and looked down at the board. Sure enough, Radek's queen was poised to take Rodney's king, and one of Radek's knights cut off his only line of retreat. Glaring at Radek, Rodney tipped his king over. At Radek's smug look, Rodney drew himself up. "I was distracted."
"Of course you were," Radek said patiently, picking up the black pieces and placing them back in their spots. "Carson needs to make the opening gambit." He gestured to the chessboard while carefully putting the last pawn in place. "And no amount of pressure is going to make him move any faster."
Rodney stared at him, pausing in the motion of picking up a white knight. "Did you just equate this thing we're doing with Carson to a chess game?"
"I made the same analogy to Carson when I first kissed him." Radek smirked, moving the white pieces he'd captured closer to Rodney. "And he didn't seem to mind."
Rodney rolled his eyes, putting the white knight in its place before picking up the white queen. "It's just my luck that both of you are chess geeks."
"At least our dirty talk would make things interesting in bed." Radek grinned.
Rodney grimaced. "Okay, that is not a mental image I needed, thanks. And this time, I'm playing black."
"Whatever you say," Radek replied with a smile, sliding the board around.
END
DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of the SG:A characters. They belong to Gecko Productions, I believe? I could be wrong. Either way, they're not mine. Yes, I invented a character, and Rhea invented a few others, but other than that, not mine.
FANDOM: Stargate: Atlantis
WORD COUNT: 7,533
SPOILERS: Exposed AU. Assumes a certain event did not happen in "Sunday". Pre-S4.
RATING: PG-13
PAIRING: Radek/Rodney, with Radek/Carson and Rodney/Carson
SUMMARY: Carson still doesn't believe Radek and Rodney.
CHALLENGE: Written for the Czech is in the Male fic-a-thon.
PROMPT: Click here for details.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Forgive the title -- chess was part of the prompt. A very big thank-you goes out to Rhea, who helped co-write parts of this. Wouldn't've been possible without you.
***
Development (n). - In chess, the movement of pieces off one's first rank into a more centralized and advantageous position.
***
Carson didn't like mandatory psychiatric sessions.
It was a nice, sunny day, and for once, the city wasn't under siege, or threatening to explode, or a hundred other things that the city was given over to do whenever it felt that its inhabitants needed a good scare. Yes, he knew he was being unreasonable, but it took his mind off having to talk to Kate.
Kate Heightmeyer was a reasonable sort, but he chafed at the fact that he was under orders to speak to her at least once a week. Before the American military had been aware of his… unusual physique, the personnel in charge of hiring people had been more than happy to let him be the chief medical officer of the expedition. It was only at Elizabeth's insistence that he kept the post after his first full physical, and even then, he'd been ordered to see Kate when they saw how battered his extra appendages looked.
According to his medical file, they were labeled ‘bone spurs', but anyone with access to the file in question knew that they were wings, pure and simple. Grey feathers grew from the trunks of each wing, resembling Einstein's hair more than actual birds' wings. Had they been allowed to grow normally, Carson was sure that they would have been rather nice to look at.
As it was, they had been repeatedly broken and battered into shape during the six years it took for them to grow in completely, starting from when he was fourteen, and he'd had to live with the results for the past eighteen years.
Carson mentally braced himself, shaking his head. It wasn't going to be over any sooner with him standing out in the hallway, so he waved a hand over the door control, just in time to see Kate about to walk right into him. She stopped herself in time, and when she saw who it was, she smiled.
"Carson," Kate said warmly, standing back from the doorway as Carson walked in. "This is a pleasant surprise. I should try to head to lunch more often."
"Oh!" Carson said, looking abashed. "I hadn't realized you were going to get something to eat. I can come back later."
Kate shook her head. "And miss you voluntarily coming to see me? Or are you here on behalf of someone else?" she asked, smiling a little.
Carson shook his head. "No, it's about me this time."
"Then I definitely don't want to pass this up," Kate replied teasingly. "Do you want to sit down?"
"Aye, thank you," Carson said with some relief, following Kate before sinking down into the chair across from Kate's habitual seat with a sigh.
"Are you all right?" Kate asked, looking concerned. "You look tired."
"Aye, a bit. I've been working on the Wraith retrovirus, to see if it can't be improved upon," Carson replied.
"And avoiding Rodney and Radek?" Kate asked astutely, watching Carson carefully. He didn't disappoint.
With a wince, Carson sighed. "I still don't know why I told you about that."
"Because I'm supposed to be your psychiatrist," Kate offered. "Or it could be that I'm one of the few people you trust to talk to about your wings?"
Carson looked at her somewhat helplessly. "It shouldn't be this hard."
Kate shot him a sympathetic look. "Relationships are difficult to navigate even without…"
"Having a pair of wings," Carson finished for her. "Aye, I gathered that. It's just…" He shook his head. "I think it's the pair of them."
"The pair of them?" Kate's eyebrows rose.
"If it had been one or the other interested in a relationship, I might not feel so nervous. But they're already in a relationship, and they're both wanting me to join them," Carson explained. "It feels more like a game than a legitimate offer."
"You told me that both of them have mentioned that they were looking for something more permanent," Kate pointed out.
"Aye, they did, but how many times has anyone ever told that to a girl to get their way?" Carson said, arching both eyebrows.
"Do you think of yourself as a girl?" Kate asked curiously.
Carson groaned. "It's not like that, I swear. It's… boys are always chasing girls around when they're young, and it feels similar." He shook his head. "I hope I didn't give Jennifer this much grief."
'"Jennifer?" Kate prompted. "You mean the new doctor that recently arrived?"
Carson shot her a sour look. "No," he said patiently. "I'm referring to my first girlfriend. Her name was Jennifer McCarthy."
"Ah." Kate smiled. "Tell me about her. I know you've mentioned in the past the relationship didn't end well, but... what attracted you to her?"
Carson shrugged, mentally unclenching at the change in subject. He hadn't thought of Jennifer in years, but at least she didn't make him feel as nervous as he did whenever Rodney or Radek mentioned their offer. "We met at school - we were the same age, and all. I remember thinking that she was very pretty when I first saw her. She had lovely green eyes."
Kate nodded. "So, she was attractive. Was she friendly?"
"Oh, sure," Carson replied. "I ended up getting up the nerve to talk to her after she dropped her books in the hallway one time, and I helped her pick them up. After that, we ended up meeting each other in the lunchroom and talking about everything under the sun."
Kate's lips curled into a smile. "And then?"
"It took me three weeks to ask her out on a date, and she ended up having to ask me because I was tripping over myself so much," Carson smiled, cocking his head just a little as he meandered through his memory of that day. "And before y'ask, Jennifer was having a birthday party, and she was only inviting close friends for a small party. She told me at the party that she'd invited me because she despaired that I'd ever ask her out on a proper date."
Kate's smile widened again. "You went, then?"
"We slipped away for a little bit, and on the back porch, she kissed me," Carson's fond smile was a bit wistful. "I thought we'd gotten away from prying eyes, but just as the kiss was picking up, we both hear this cheering, and when we turned to look, all of her female friends are staring at us, grinning like fools. I can't remember ever being so embarrassed."
"How old were you?" Kate asked, laughing.
"Seventeen," Carson admitted, his smile turning sheepish. "And it had been her seventeenth birthday as well."
"It sounds very sweet, if you don't mind my saying so." Kate paused, giving him time to add anything. When he didn't, she prompted, "What happened later?"
Carson shrugged. "We dated for a few months, and when the summer break came, we saw each other at least once a week. It was exciting, new... and the more we saw each other, the more I wanted to get serious with her." At Kate's curious look, Carson shook his head. "Not marriage, not that young. I had already applied to universities to get into pre-med, and it wouldn't have been fair to her to start a serious relationship, and then leave her alone all that time."
"And?" Kate knew there was more.
Carson sighed. "We went driving one night, and Jennifer suggested the local spot where kids went to make-out or have sex. I'd had a little bit to drink, so I hadn't really thought about it, and so we drove. When we got there, we were talking, and then we were kissing, and then she wanted me to take my shirt off." Carson paused before continuing, "It felt good to be with her, and I figured that she'd understand -- she'd listened to me natter on about all sorts of things..." Carson shook his head.
"She didn't react well?" Kate guessed.
"Well, first, she was worried that I might've hurt myself, and that we'd driven all the way out there in the first place, but I told her that I was fine, and that it was nothing. But she insisted that she didn't want to hurt me, and it..." Carson sighed heavily. "I think that right there made me think that I could tell her, that she'd understand. So... I did."
Carson could still remember that night, the warm air, the feel of his father's car against his hands, the way her eyes glittered in the moonlight. He also remembered the way she frowned when he told her, and her look of stunned disbelief when he undid the bandages. The way her eyes widened, her lips parted, and then the disbelief disappearing, replaced by a distance that felt almost physical, like a yawning chasm that stretched miles between them.
"And she didn't understand."
It was a simple sentence, but Carson could feel himself get angry. "I have a pair of bloody wings," he snapped. "It's not likely that anyone is going to understand how it feels--" He stopped himself, wincing at the sharp pain in his back. Closing his eyes, he forced himself to relax, try to remain calm. Flexing his shoulders back, he sighed when the pain subsided.
Kate waited for him to calm down. "Is that what you're afraid of with Rodney and Radek? That since they know about the wings, it's only an attraction for something new?"
"Of course it's a concern," Carson replied, clenching his teeth briefly before easing his shoulders in slow circles, testing to see how much he could move. As much as he hated it, he might have to see Leslie to see if he'd need new bandages. "I've never wanted to be a sideshow attraction, nor have I wanted to be a novelty. It's why I've stayed effectively celibate for so long."
"Have you considered the possibility that they simply don't care about the wings? That it's you they want to invite into their lives, and that the wings aren't any more concern than a limp would be?"
Carson snorted. "I'd have a better time of believing that if they hadn't hacked into my medical file and seen the damage for themselves."
"You know they're like dogs with a bone when they get wind of a mystery," Kate reminded him. "They'd probably have done the same for anything 'new' that had happened to you."
"That gave them no right to do that," Carson muttered. Intellectually, he knew that Rodney and Radek were both tried-and-true scientists who would do anything to learn anything new, whether it be about Atlantis, the Pegasus Galaxy, or their friends, but it had still stung that they had invaded his privacy. It had been a topic he'd discussed with Kate before, but it had never helped the fact that he still felt betrayed.
Kate nodded. "Is that what's making you nervous about trusting their intentions are pure?"
Carson stared at her, and after a long moment, he sighed. Resting his arms just above his knees, he looked down at the table between them. "Partly," he admitted.
Kate nodded. "That's understandable. Have you talked about your feelings with them?"
Carson tried not to wince, but he was sure he'd failed miserably. "The retrovirus is far from complete," he said by way of explanation, even though he knew that it was a shitty excuse.
"I take it that's a no."
Carson sighed. "Kate, I knew I was never going to have a long-term relationship, and I certainly never anticipated a couple asking me for a threesome, of all things, so it's better to just leave them be. They'll forget about it after having to deal with a few catastrophes threaten the city, or they discover a way to recharge the ZPMs, or what have you, and then things can get back to normal."
"Let me ask you something." Kate met his gaze directly. "How much of it is your fear of rejection, and how much of it is your dislike of confrontation? If they're serious about a real relationship with you, they'll listen to you, discuss your feelings. Rodney might mouth off a bit, but he's Rodney. If they're not interested… then maybe you are a distraction. But you'll know."
Carson opened his mouth to answer her, but sighed heavily, gingerly straightening his back. "They were my friends before this nonsense started. I don't want to upset that friendship. These..." He paused, looking down as he massaged the back of his neck slowly. Lifting his eyes to look back at Kate, he said, "I can't do this, Kate. I've gotten myself in up to my neck, and every time I try to talk to them, I keep thinking that maybe, just maybe, it could work, but it can't."
"Why can't it?" Kate asked. "Wings aside, why can't it?"
"I'm already going to be the third wheel," Carson said firmly. "Even if I didn't have these, at the end of the day, it's the two of them, and they've decided to try something new. What kind of security is there? Who in their right minds ever has committed relationships with two people when they're complicated enough with just one person?"
"It's not a totally new phenomenon," Kate pointed out. "Tribal societies did it all the time."
Carson shot her an unamused look. "We're not a tribal society."
"In a way, we are," Kate said. "We're advanced, yes, but a closed community nonetheless, with societal roles, even if those are determined by our training."
"Aye, I'll grant you that, but we also have new personnel coming and going through Atlantis, as well as regular shipments from Earth because of the Daedalus," Carson pointed out. "We're not completely cut off, not like we were that first year we were here."
"No, but those of us who were here this first year have a different bond, a different view of things," Kate reminded him. "Back then, we were all each other had."
Carson nodded. "I'll grant you that as well, but it's a bit late for Rodney and Radek to have this sudden interest in me if it were due to our being isolated."
"Maybe it's not due to the isolation entirely." Kate shrugged. "They didn't start dating at first, either, but the bonds remain. How long did it take them to realize they had a relationship, that they weren't simply having sex? Is there a reason it wouldn't take longer for them to realize they felt someone was missing from the equation?"
"As near as I can tell, they still think they're just having sex," Carson snorted. "And they want to rope me into it as well."
Kate regarded him for a long moment. "You're not my inpatient, so I can't order you to do anything. And I'm not going to tell you whether or not to have sex with anyone. But, if I had to give some advice… don't hold yourself back. Live for the moment, do something crazy you normally wouldn't because it sounds like a good idea. Be reasonable, but… talk to them. Find out what they want. If it sounds like a good idea, move forward. If you're still not sure, don't. But you won't know anything until you talk."
Carson looked at her sourly. "Somehow, I knew you were going to say that."
"I call 'em like I see 'em." Kate shrugged.
Carson nodded, standing up. "I see. Well, thanks for the talk."
"Same time next week?" Kate asked as he headed for the door.
Carson paused, looking back at her. Sometimes, he wished she would forget to remind him. "Aye. Next week."
***
Despite Kate's advice that he take risks, the next few days found Carson still working in his office, the Wraith DNA under the microscope still arresting his attention. He knew that there had already been one shift change already since he'd started working, and Leslie had been making noises about having him forcibly removed from his office to get some rest, but Carson knew that if he left now, he'd start thinking about Rodney and Radek, and try as he might, he couldn't stop himself from instinctively shying away from them. Here in his lab, things made sense, and as long as he stayed here, he didn't feel so… adrift.
Carson's radio activated -- Rodney, sounding frantic, though that wasn't necessarily unusual. "Carson, there was an explosion in the lab. I'm bringing Radek in."
"Oh, bloody hell," Carson muttered to himself. "Is he conscious?"
"Yes, he is." Radek broke in suddenly. "He is also fine."
Carson frowned. Conscious and aware -- well, that was a good sign. And while he tended to trust Radek's assessments of his physical condition, he wanted to make sure that Radek was well and truly fine. "Rodney, is he ambulatory?"
"He's--" Rodney broke off. "Dammit, Radek, get back here!"
Despite himself, Carson chuckled a little. "How far are you from the infirmary?"
"Maybe a couple minutes, once I get Dr. Death Wish headed the right direction?" Rodney guessed.
Carson smiled fondly. If there was something that he appreciated about Rodney and Radek, it was that there was never a dull moment with them around. "Radek, if there's been an explosion, it's best that you come in and get examined to make sure you're not badly injured."
"It's a scratch and a bruise," Radek replied. "I am not dying, despite what Rodney seems to think."
"Still," Carson said sympathetically, adding a hint of firmness to his tone, "it doesn't hurt to get a second opinion, right?"
"Fine." Radek sighed. "We'll come, then you will see."
The radio chirped off, and by the time Rodney walked in with Radek at his side, resembling a cross between an avenging angel and a rather annoyed mother hen, Carson discovered with a sinking feeling that he was the only one available to deal with the two of them. He muttered a curse under his breath before smiling politely. "What seems to be the nature of the injuries?" he asked pleasantly.
"The nature of them is that they're nothing," Radek insisted.
Carson snorted, looking skeptical as he snapped on a rubber glove. "I'm sure, but it never hurts to check, hmm?"
Radek sighed, impatiently allowing Carson to look over a small cut on his arm.
Carson blinked down at the cut. "You're caught in an explosion, and all you've got is a cut?"
"I was on the far end of the lab," Radek explained, sighing and shooting a look at Rodney.
Rodney shot him an annoyed look back. "Oh, excuse me for worrying that the cut could get infected. You were hit with flying glass, if I recall correctly, and I do." He turned to Carson. "Doesn't it need stitches?"
"No, Rodney," Carson explained patiently. "It's just a scratch."
"What about his ribs, then, hmm?" Rodney asked. "He could've cracked one when he fell."
Carson raised both eyebrows at Radek.
"Carson, it is not--" Radek stopped, and when he saw that Carson's expression hadn't changed, he rolled his eyes, sighed, and lifted his shirt. "I didn't even fall hard," Radek complained. "The glass surprised me -- and hurt a little, despite the fact that the cut was minor -- and I tripped."
Carson nodded. "Well, it doesn't look too bad to me." He poked a bit. "If it keeps hurting you, let me know, but I don't see anything worrisome."
Radek arched an eyebrow at Rodney, who folded his arms across his chest and looked mutinous. "The cut could still get infected," he insisted.
"Aye," Carson agreed, "and the Wraith could attack any moment, too."
Rodney glared openly at Carson. "Very funny, Carson. Seeing as how all of your training in voodoo has amounted to a pat on the head and a lollipop, the least you could do is explain why--"
"Why it's not going to get infected?" Carson asked pre-emptively. He was fairly sure what Rodney really wanted to talk about, but this was neither the time or place. "We're going to treat it. Yes, the possibility exists, but if we clean it and stick on a plaster, it'll be fine."
"Are you being deliberately obtuse?" Rodney asked almost incredulously. "You've been avoiding us for the past--"
"Why don't you just hack my medical records and find out what I've been up to?" Carson snapped, immediately regretting it.
Rodney visibly paled, and his lips pressed into a thin, lopsided line. "I already apologized."
"I'm sorry. Forget I said anything." Carson did not want to have this conversation.
Radek glanced at Carson before turning back to Rodney, who looked ready to argue the point right there in the infirmary. "Rodney, would you give us some time alone?"
"But--" Rodney's protest died as he saw the look on Radek's face. Glaring back at him, he grated out, "Fine. I'll be outside."
Carson watched Rodney storm out of the infirmary before turning back to Radek. "Radek…"
"Rodney will be Rodney." Radek smiled fondly. "But we do need to talk. This bothers you, still."
Carson sighed. "It's... I'm still having trouble wrapping my head around it."
"Which part?" Radek asked, settling comfortably on the exam table.
"All of it?" Carson replied with a nervous smile. "If it's not my physical condition, then it's the fact that I feel like a third wheel already, and I don't feel comfortable with that."
"I've already told you, the physical condition, it doesn't matter." Radek smiled. "And, honestly, you do not give yourself enough credit -- or perhaps you give us too much. Is not all hearts and roses over here, so blissful we must share. I admit, it will take work, but you would hardly be in the way." His grin took on another shade of amusement. "In fact, you may be instrumental in helping me maintain my sanity."
Carson's answering smile was more pitiful. "It's the pair of you that are going to make me lose my sanity if we go through with this," he replied.
Radek cocked his head a little, regarding Carson curiously. "Interesting. What do you mean by that?"
Carson shot Radek a surprised frown. "You don't think you will? If it's not Rodney getting injured off-world, it'll be you in yet another lab explosion." He headed for a medicine cabinet, opened it, and got out some hydrogen peroxide, gauze, and a band-aid. Turning back to Radek, he set the band-aid down and opened the bottle. "You were lucky this time."
Radek nodded, knowing better than to argue with that. "Atlantis is not the safest of places, no. But that is not all I suspect that bothers you."
Carson sighed, wetting the gauze with the peroxide before dabbing at the cut gently. After the band-aid was firmly applied, he threw the gauze away and put the peroxide back in the cabinet. "Perhaps not." He shook his head, turning to look back at Radek. "I can't let go of the fact that you and Rodney hacked into my medical file."
Radek looked down for a moment before meeting his eyes again. "I'm sorry. We were worried about you, and, yes, I realize that was not the best way to get information. Were we to have it to do again...."
Carson wasn't sure what it was about the way Radek looked - it could have been the guilty look, or the way his eyes looked back at him, but he felt himself get annoyed. "The cat's already out of the bag, so there's nothing else that I've wanted to keep private," he said bitterly. "Feel free to have at it."
"No." Radek shook his head. "I wouldn't do it again."
Carson looked unimpressed. "I admire your restraint," he said sarcastically. "It should have been my choice whether or not to tell you, and you two should have been able to trust the medical staff to know what they were doing by not releasing any information about my physical state." He was about to keep going, but he stopped himself and shook his head firmly. "I'll not beat the dead horse anymore, so I'll leave you be, and if you'd extend me the same courtesy, I'd appreciate it."
Radek nodded, sighing deeply. He caught Carson's hand with his wrist. "I really am sorry. We never wanted to hurt you."
Carson looked him in the eye, and sighed heavily. "I know," he said simply. A long moment stretched between them before he asked, "What possessed you to make your... offer when you did?"
"We both care for you quite deeply," Radek said, "though, admittedly, Rodney has a harder time admitting it. Your... injury... simply drove the fact home."
Carson frowned, looking puzzled. "The fact that I have damaged wings inspired you to make your offer?"
"No, the wings, they have nothing to do with it." Radek shook his head. "You were hurt. We were worried, enough to take measures that we shouldn't have. I had considered it, idly, before, but had never discussed it with Rodney. But, I do not want us, all of us, to miss out on something that could be potentially very wonderful for us simply because it is non-traditional."
"The timing's a bit suspect, don't you think?" Carson asked dryly. "What am I supposed to think when you asked after having done what you did?"
Radek inclined his head. "Admittedly, the timing could have been better. But I wanted to ask before I lost the nerve."
Carson looked at him skeptically. "And what about Rodney?"
Radek couldn't help but chuckle. "Rodney has no sense of timing whatsoever in personal matters. You should know that."
Carson smiled a little. "Aye. I don't think I've ever met anyone more unaware of other people's feelings."
Radek shrugged. "You do get used to it. He makes up for it, in little moments that catch you by surprise."
"I'm sure he does," Carson replied.
"I am not forcing you to make decisions now," Radek said. "Only to consider the offer as genuine."
"I hear you." Carson nodded. "And if your arm or side start to hurt..."
Radek nodded as well. "Yes, I will come back, of course."
"Now, if you'll excuse me," Carson said briskly, snapping off his rubber gloves and throwing them away. "I've got some research to get back to."
Radek tried not to let his disappointment show. "Yes, of course. Good luck."
Carson nodded politely, heading back toward his office and forcing himself not to look behind him.
***
A week later, Carson was working in his office when he noticed it was getting warm. First, he tried to adjust the temperature by hand, but after half an hour, and the room getting hotter, not colder, Carson wiped at his forehead and keyed his radio. "Carson to Rodney, what's wrong with the temperature? I'm near boiling in my office."
A few minutes later, Carson asked, "Rodney, are you there?"
After a few minutes more of no answer, he removed the slide from his microscope and put it away carefully before wrestling out of his lab coat and hanging it up. Tugging at the collar of his shirt, he waved his hand over the door controls. When they bleeped back at him, and the door didn't budge, Carson frowned, concentrating firmly on the door and trying to think it open.
"Hello?" he called before keying his radio. "Carson to the infirmary, is anyone there?"
There was no response, only static.
"Bloody hell," Carson cursed. He slapped the door firmly a few times. "Hello! Is anyone out there?"
"Carson?" Leslie called from the other side of the door. "Are you all right in there?"
"Oh, thank God," Carson murmured. "Aye, I'm all right, but it's bloody hot in here, and I can't get the door open!"
"Our radios are down," Leslie shouted. "We sent someone down to Engineering to find out what the hell's going on. Main door's stuck but the entrance near the intensive care wing isn't."
"How're the patients doing?" Carson shouted back. "I can't imagine the heat's doing them any good."
"Sgt. Kensington is asleep," Leslie reported, "and we're all hot, but Dr. Deghani is doing fine despite that. Thank God we've only got two observations now and nothing serious. How're you?"
"I'm near boiling in here," Carson admitted, wiping his forehead with a grimace. "I've put away the work I've been doing, and turned off anything that doesn't need to be on to see if that'll keep the room cooler for longer, but I'd feel a lot better if the room were larger."
"Take off those bandages," Leslie advised. "They need to be kept dry and you're sure to be sweating."
Just as Carson was about to open his mouth to argue, Leslie shouted back, "Don't argue with me about this, Carson. You want to keep them, and they need to be kept dry. You're still healing, and keeping them compressed is just asking for infection."
Carson grimaced, this time not sure if he wanted to be this exposed while in his office. After a minute of debating with himself, he sighed heavily. "All right, but if the temperature goes back to a decent setting, they're going back on."
"Fine," Leslie agreed, "but not before then."
Carson grunted, reaching up and reluctantly taking wrestling out of his shirt. "I'm taking them off now."
After about twenty minutes, there were voices outside the door -- Rodney, and Radek, arguing. "--if the baby scientists haven't managed to boil him alive by now."
"Yes, yes, we get the door open, then we fix the temperature controls on this level, hmm?" Within seconds, the door slid open, causing Carson to jerk his head out of his hands and stare at them. The pair stopped short, the doors closing behind them.
A pregnant silence stretched between the three of them, Rodney and Radek staring at Carson, Carson staring back. At first, Carson had been puzzled as to why they were staring at him, but when he reached up to wipe his forehead with the back of his hand, he felt his left wing sag away from his back, reminding him that he felt sweaty all over. Not only was he sweaty, but he wasn't even wearing his bandages.
"Wow, that's just..." Rodney blinked and stared a bit with single-minded attention at Carson's front. "Hot, sweaty... that is a very nice picture right there. I might have to forgive them some idiocy. Any guy can grow chest hair; takes a real man to keep it off without waxing."
Radek raised an eyebrow. "And you would know that how?"
Rodney snorted. "Not like you would. You're a little furball."
Carson stiffened, wiping his face again. Trying to remain calm, he felt keenly aware of how far away his bandages were from where he was sitting, and how Rodney and Radek were still staring at him intently. Forcibly unclenching his teeth, he asked, "Would you mind giving me some privacy for a few minutes?"
"What? We were just--" Rodney started.
"--going now," Radek finished.
When Radek dragged Rodney protesting out of the office, Leslie slid inside, snapping on a pair of rubber gloves. "Let me get a look at you."
"They're fine, Leslie," Carson replied, watching the door close with an audible sigh of relief. Unclenching, he could feel his wings sag uselessly away from his back. "Really. I've kept them as dry as I could."
Leslie nodded, looking him over. "I'll go get some dry bandages. And before you ask, apparently some experiment some of the new scientists were running overloaded the temperature controls and half the doors on this level."
"Lovely. I'm sure Rodney is sure to give them all a good tongue lashing." Carson rolled his eyes, feeling her hands gently ease the appendages back and forth and touching some of the feathers. "How do they look?"
"They're healing well enough," Leslie reported. "You don't seem to have done much damage to them in here, though you could probably stand to take a good shower and let them dry properly before you bandage them up again."
Carson groaned. "I have three more hours on my shift."
"So go take a break, get some food, call it lunch. I know you haven't eaten yet." Carson could almost hear an arched eyebrow in her voice. "We're fine for staffing here."
Carson frowned at her over his shoulder. "Are you sure?"
"Positive," she said with exaggerated patience.
Carson sighed and stood up from the chair he'd been sitting in. "The bandages?" he asked, looking hopeful.
"I'll get them for you," she said, heading out.
Carson let out a relieved sigh, making a beeline for his shirt and lab coat, and slid one arm into the labcoat. It would be lighter and easier on his wings than his shirt would, sadly, but it gave some measure of protection. As much as he hated not being able to wrap the wings in bandages right that second, Leslie could be a terror if she thought he wasn't following orders.
As he slipped the other arm into the coat, he wished he didn't feel as exposed as he did. The door opened, and Leslie returned, holding fresh bandages.
"You'll be fine, Carson," Leslie assured him.
Carson arched a thick eyebrow at her, and held out his hand. "I'm sure. Are Rodney and Radek still in the infirmary?"
"No, they went to make sure everything else on this level is back online."
"Good," Carson nodded, accepting the bandages from her. "I'll be back in an hour or two."
"I'll see you then." She waved cheerily at him as she headed out.
***
The shower a few minutes later felt blissfully cool against his skin. Having been stuck in his office-turned-oven for over an hour had made Carson turn on the cold water full blast. Teeth chattering for a few minutes, he closed his eyes and ducked his head under the spray before turning around gingerly and allowing his wings to get drenched.
It took a bit of maneuvering to clean them. When he was younger, he'd taken to using a hard-bristled brush with a long handle, which had hurt almost as much as initially breaking them had. Nowadays, showering tended to take longer than usual as he awkwardly tried to stretch out his wings one at a time and try to dry them with a hand towel. They never felt truly dry afterwards, but since his body didn't produce a method to water-proof his wings, Carson was stuck. If he'd had the time, he would have stayed in his quarters until they felt dried all the way through, but he was needed back in the infirmary, and he was sure that he was close to something in his retrovirus research.
He stepped out of the shower and dried off, wrapping a towel around his waist before using a hand towel to dry off his slightly longer left wing. When he finished, Carson gritted his teeth and mentally prepared himself to try extending the more-severely damaged right limb.
Of course, that was when the door chimed.
"Hold on a moment," Carson grunted, easing a robe on over his shoulders, covering his chest and belting it closed before waving a hand over the door control. "Yes, what is it?" he asked perfunctorily before realizing that it was Rodney facing him.
"Oh, hi, Carson," Rodney blurted out, glancing down at Carson's chest and looking disappointed when he saw the bathrobe firmly in place. "I just wanted to let you know that the environmental controls are all fixed."
Carson blinked at him. "Leslie told me you were doing that, yes," he agreed slowly. "Is there anything else I can help you with, or did you come here for the sole purpose of staring at me?" As accusing as his question sounded, Carson tempered it with knowing look.
Predictably, Rodney drew himself up to protest. "I never get to see you with your shirt off - for obvious reasons, yes - so can you really blame me for wanting another peek? At your chest, I mean?"
Carson frowned. "My chest?"
Rodney looked at him with all of the patience of a five-year-old. "No, Carson, I wanted to see your feet," he sniped. "Yes, your chest. I think that for having to deal with baby scientists who nearly cooked you to death, I should get to see some skin."
"I see," Carson said slowly. "And where's Radek?"
"What do you mean, where's Radek?" Rodney asked, looking confused for a moment. "He's finishing some of the repairs, and then he's heading down to Lab Three to figure out what happened with one of the newer naquadah generators that the Daedalus brought on its latest run." At Carson's look, Rodney folded his arms across his chest and sniffed. "He got to make out with you first. I get to see some skin."
"I'd hardly call it ‘making out'," Carson snorted, both amused and annoyed at Rodney's attitude. "And what if I were to say no?"
"You wouldn't, would you?" Rodney blinked, as if the possibility that Carson might refuse to indulge him had never occurred to him.
Carson arched both eyebrows at him.
"Hey, the fact that I want to see your bare chest again -- and you really are going to have to tell me how you keep it hairless without waxing, because you don't strike me as the kind of guy who'd shave it all off -- you should take it as a compliment." Rodney rambled on, interjecting sentences within sentences, and looking much more confident in himself than he usually did. He looked almost smug. "And seeing as how Radek and I got treated to the exquisite sight of your chest due to idiot scientists who don't deserve to breathe air, let alone stay in Atlantis--"
"Did you have fun yelling at the scientists?" Carson asked quickly.
"Not really, because having to point out a person's incompetence to them because they don't realize it in themselves is a waste of time," Rodney huffed, "and you're changing the subject."
"Then how is it that you're even standing on my doorstep, demanding to see skin?" Carson frowned, looking curious.
"Well, since Radek has obviously gone insane and decided to give you ‘space'," Rodney added the requisite air-quotes, "I felt it was my responsibility to point out the fact that you're incredibly hot, especially shirtless. Yes, we saw the wings; no, we want to see more of your chest, because hot and sweaty is a lot more interesting than whether or not your tail-feathers need grooming."
Carson blinked. "I don't have tail-feathers."
Rodney rolled his eyes. "Are you really going to waste time arguing bird anatomy with me?" He made a come-on-I-don't-have-all-day motion with his hands. "Just a quick peek, and I'll go. Promise."
Carson stared at him, ready to tell him to bugger off, because he was nowhere near dry or drunk enough to stand around half-naked just for his amusement. What popped out of his mouth instead was, "Promise?"
Rodney grinned unrepentantly. "Absolutely. Come on." He made the impatient hand-motion again.
Carson shook his head. "I can't believe I'm doing this."
"And I can't believe you're taking this long," Rodney replied. "Come on, chop chop."
Carson looked at him in askance before taking hold of the lapels and pulling open the robe enough. When he saw Rodney's gaze lower almost hungrily, Carson jerked the robe closed again.
"Oh, come on," Rodney whined. "That wasn't even a peek!"
"You said a quick peek," Carson said firmly, feeling his cheeks getting red already. "Now, go on. I need to finish getting dressed so I can get back to work."
Rodney still looked disappointed, but instead of obliging Carson and backing away from the doorstep, he took a step closer, his expression growing serious. "I am serious, Carson. You're absolutely hot, and… y'know, that offer's still open." He shot Carson a hopeful look.
"Yes, Rodney, I know," Carson said patiently.
Rodney nodded quickly. "So, if you ever, well, change your mind about joining us…"
"I'll let you know," Carson nodded, feeling a sense of déjà vu. "I'll see you later, Rodney."
"Promise?" Rodney asked seriously. "Because you avoiding us really sucks."
Carson sighed, and nodded. "I promise. Now, really. It's getting chilly, and I need to get back to work."
Rodney frowned. "It's getting chilly? I could help with that--" At Carson's look, he looked disappointed again. "You can't blame me for trying, right?"
Carson blinked, and then chuckled briefly. "I guess not. I'll see you later, Rodney."
"Later, Carson," Rodney acknowledged, nodding. Hesitating a little, Rodney spared a wistful glance at Carson's chest before heading down the hallway. Just as the door closed, Carson heard him say, "Radek, you owe me a beer."
Shaking his head, Carson chuckled as he shrugged out of his robe and picked up the hand towel again, gritting his teeth as he slowly extended his right wing.
***
"Do you think it'll work?" Rodney asked, staring at the chessboard. After having replaced the loose connector in the generator a few hours ago, he and Radek had ended up in Radek's quarters in an unspoken agreement, and unlike their usual routine, where they screwed like rabbits and fell asleep until the ass-crack of dawn, they were sitting at Radek's one desk, the old, chipped chessboard sitting between them. Radek, predictably, was playing black - Rodney figured it suited Radek's brand of Bohemian evil - and Radek was pondering the board before moving a knight forward.
"If what you say is correct, we may have a chance, yes," Radek said, sounding distracted.
"If?" Rodney asked archly, moving a bishop across the board to take a pawn and threaten one of Radek's knights.
"This sort of thing will not happen overnight, Rodney," Radek replied. "It's already been weeks since we first made the proposal, and it is only now that Carson feels that he might start to believe we're genuine." That said, he moved the same knight as before and threatened Rodney's queen.
"We were genuine in our interest in the first place," Rodney objected, noticing the move, and moving his queen out of the way.
"But we've never seen him shirtless before," Radek pointed out, snatching up Rodney's unprotected queen with one of his bishops. "He left himself very vulnerable today, though it might have been due to the heat more than any choice of his."
"However it happened, we got to see him shirtless, and I for one still want to have wild sex with him," Rodney snorted, glaring at the pieces before glaring at Radek. "You were planning that from the beginning, weren't you?"
"About four moves ago, actually," Radek admitted, pointing at the board. "It is your turn."
Rodney shot him a sour look before moving a pawn forward. "So, what next?"
Radek arched an eyebrow at him. "You took a very big risk in badgering him. I think we should back off." Despite his words, he moved in for the kill, sliding a bishop over. "Check."
"Check? What do you mean--" He glared at the bishop and then at Radek, moving a knight back to block the bishop's line of fire. "Backing off let Carson avoid us even more."
"Would you rather be maneuvered into a corner and given no choice?" Radek asked archly, moving his queen over a few spaces.
"Yes, yes, I would," Rodney said in a tone that clearly meant that he wouldn't. He glanced down at the board, and then moved a bishop to threaten Radek's queen.
"No, you wouldn't," Radek snorted, moving his queen without hesitation to take Rodney's knight. "Checkmate."
Rodney blinked, and looked down at the board. Sure enough, Radek's queen was poised to take Rodney's king, and one of Radek's knights cut off his only line of retreat. Glaring at Radek, Rodney tipped his king over. At Radek's smug look, Rodney drew himself up. "I was distracted."
"Of course you were," Radek said patiently, picking up the black pieces and placing them back in their spots. "Carson needs to make the opening gambit." He gestured to the chessboard while carefully putting the last pawn in place. "And no amount of pressure is going to make him move any faster."
Rodney stared at him, pausing in the motion of picking up a white knight. "Did you just equate this thing we're doing with Carson to a chess game?"
"I made the same analogy to Carson when I first kissed him." Radek smirked, moving the white pieces he'd captured closer to Rodney. "And he didn't seem to mind."
Rodney rolled his eyes, putting the white knight in its place before picking up the white queen. "It's just my luck that both of you are chess geeks."
"At least our dirty talk would make things interesting in bed." Radek grinned.
Rodney grimaced. "Okay, that is not a mental image I needed, thanks. And this time, I'm playing black."
"Whatever you say," Radek replied with a smile, sliding the board around.
END