The view from inside

[darkrosetiger]

In this post, researchgrrrl wrote about her experiences as a rape survivor, and how it informs her belief that writing rapefic about real people is wrong. I admire the courage it must have taken for her to write that post, and to make it public, and I am in no way denying that she is entitled to express her opinion. However, I have to disagree with her comment

Comments

[helsmeta]

Those arguments lose me when they move from "This is how I feel, therefore this is how I behave" to "This is how I feel, therefore this is how other people should behave." It's one thing to explain and justify your own reactions and your reasons for those reactions, but to extrapolate those to other people doesn't make much sense to me. The fact is, fandom's full of people with different reactions to similar life experiences

[researchgrrrl]

Before the line that darkrosetiger quoted, I did specify in my entry:

With that statement, I move now from fact to my opinion. I do so aware that others will have opposing opinions on the matter for reasons that are no less valid than what I described to support my own arguments.

FWIW and all that jazz. Cheers!

[helsmeta]

Yep, I read your post in its entirety -- disclaimer too. I disagree that your disclaimer means that your post takes into account the validity of other people's life experiences; I just don't see how any post that suggests we have a "responsibility" to behave in a certain way can, at the same time, be a champion of the processes people have dealt with in order to come to different conclusions about the things we have a responsibility to do.

[researchgrrrl]

Fair enough. I won't argue your interpretation. I had assumed that predicating the statement quoted here with "I feel" would sufficiently convey that the rest of that statement was a belief of mine and not a demand. That I failed to communicate that was just that: a failure on my part.

Cheers!

[stewardess]

When I was 13, my best friend was violently raped. I saw her minutes later, because she was on her way to my home when she was attacked. I spent the next 16 hours with her, washed blood off her, and just plain old freaked out while trying to comfort her.

I learned something about rape I've never forgotten: that emotional reactions to it are extremely varied. For instance, my friend coped with it for the first few months through an amazing exercise of denial. She rewrote the events in her mind and made it into a romantic relationship.

So I just can't agree to never eroticize or romanticize rape. I don't think I have, but there may be a story in the future where I do, because it's right for the characters.

[darthhellokitty]

She KILLED OFF YOUR SIM? o_0

Wow.

Sometimes, especially when we're young, the insides of our heads are the only private place we have to go. I don't ever want to hear about any else trying to post "do not" posters in there.

[msilverstar]

That all makes sense to me. I just can't see making it RPF is really any worse than FPF.