spn/ff: Help, I’m Alive 8/?
Title: Help, I’m Alive 8/?
Author: Liv darkmagic-luvr
Fandom: Supernatural/Firefly
Characters: all of the above
Rating: R
Warnings: general spoilers.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Supernatural or Firefly. Any characters you don’t recognize are original and should not be used without my permission.
Author’s Note: Holy Christ. I’m not sure how I feel about the end, I almost don’t like it.
part 1|part 2|part 3| part 4|part 5|part 6 | part 7
Simon was sitting in a chair next to River in the infirmary, his hands clasped, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees, staring at her as she slept. His head dropped with a sigh, eyes focused on the ground as flashes of suspicions and facts burned behind his eyes. The facts said River was pregnant, and the doctor in him had to admit that it was true. He’d done five more tests with five different blood samples before his resources became threatened and his sanity called into question. Book had stayed with him the entire time, silent, staring down at River with his hands clasped and his face blank. The suspicion said that someone on the crew had to be blamed, but there were only so many to accuse. Book would never, Simon was out of the question, Wash was a ridiculous suggestion, Mal wouldn’t dare, Jayne didn’t care enough.
The person in Simon who still liked playing dinosaurs with his baby sister suggested that the Alliance had something to do with it, maybe implanted an embryo within her womb set to start gestating at a specific time. But why on earth would the Alliance go through so much trouble to impregnate a 16 year old? The facts told him it wasn’t possible, that there had to be a mistake. The suspicions were less convincing.
Simon looked up and away from the infirmary floor the moment River started to wake. She jerked her limbs, pinned down by leather straps to the chair for a moment. Simon placed his hand against her arm to settle her, but she snarled at him, jerking violently at his touch.
“Don’t touch me, Simon,” whispered River, her voice harsh, tears catching in the corners of her eyes as she stared up at the ceiling. Simon recoiled, but didn’t let the hurt show on his face.
“We have to talk, River,” muttered Simon, looking away from her. She didn’t answer, he didn’t expect her to and he continued anyway. “First, the blood. How long ago did it start.”
She was glaring at him out of the corner of her eyes, burning with rage and set jaw. She exhaled hard through her nose, but answered him. “Not so long.”
“Days? Weeks? I need to know, River-”
“Weeks. Three, maybe less.” she hated him, he could see that, but she was answering him and if there was any logic left in his sister she would understand that all he wanted was her safety. He nodded, touching his fingertips together and leaning forward slightly, staring her down.
“Why have you been keeping it from me?”
“I didn’t want you to worry-”
“Don’t lie to me.”
River looked away sharply, silently telling him it wasn’t a question she could answer easily with someone she didn’t trust. She didn’t trust him, so he nodded, knowing she could see him and stood. The movement caught her attention and confusion flashed across her face for a moment.
“I’m going to tell you something that may surprise you,” said Simon carefully, his eyes hard with disappointment and anger. River held his gaze, her head tilted slightly, trying to read him unsuccessfully. It only fueled her anger with him, anger that was quickly doused out by his next words. “You’re pregnant.”
“That-that-that’s not…that’s not,” it was the first time Simon had ever seen his sister lost for words, it was the first time he’d seen her react to something unknown. If she had been the old River, it might have amused him to see her panic like this, but in this River it was just sad. Simon shook his head, eyes still angry, his voice still hard.
“What are you keeping from me, River, tell me. Now.”
.
Bobby decided not to go with them to Kansas to see Missouri (Sam thought it was because he didn‘t feel like babysitting them for 300 fucking miles, Bobby insisted that he just loved them too much to be forced to kill them). Dean drove the whole way white knuckled against the steering wheel, dreading the trip home. Sam stared at him through the corner of his eye once it became clear how tense his brother was. Sam sighed, closing his eyes to try and get some sleep, maybe see…but it wasn’t happening. River wasn’t there, and it felt wrong to dream without her, like he was cheating on her with his nightmares or something.
They pulled up in front of a house with a yard and a picket fence. Dean shook his head and climbed out of the car, Sam following close behind. Dean didn’t have a chance to ring the bell before the door swung open, revealing a large black woman with one hand on her hip and a bible in the other. Dean blinked, startled for a moment before the woman whacked him in the forehead with her scripture.
“What the -!?”
“Don’t you start swearin’, mister, you’re lucky that’s all I did to you. Invading Sam’s dreams! Some things are private, Dean.” Sam tried not to let his amusement show as he addressed the woman in front of them, while Dean gaped at her.
“Missouri?”
“Come in, sweetie, we have a lot to talk about.”
So Sam did and Dean grumbled behind him, stomping into the house after him. Missouri gave him a look that told him to shut up and lead them into a sitting area just off the hallway lit with sunlight and glassy surfaces. There was coffee steaming in cups on the coffee table in front of the couch and warm cookies on the plate. Missouri gestured Dean to the plate and suddenly all was forgiven. Dean fell back onto the couch with a sigh and-
“Boy, if you put so much as a toe on my table I will whip you upside the head.”
Dean looked startled. “I wasn’t going to-”
“Don’t even try to lie, honey.” It wasn’t often that Sam got to see Dean pout, but he had a feeling he’d be seeing a lot of it if Missouri had anything to do about it. He sat next to his brother in an awkward silence, looking around the room so he wouldn’t have to look at Missouri, who sat down in the armchair across from them.
“So, how did you know our dad?“ asked Dean, completely bypassing the real reason they were there and munching on a cookie nonchalantly. Missouri looked coolly at him.
“We both know that’s not why you’re here, so don’t even try to test me.”
She was a fortune teller, or a medium or something along those lines, able to pull back the proverbial veil and just know things. Just like-
“Very close to what River does, Sam.” said Missouri, interrupting Sam’s thought process. Oh yeah, they were screwed. Missouri chuckled at him and leaned forward to pick up a cup of coffee, settling into her chair with a sip and a sympathetic look at Sam. “I’m so sorry you have to go through this, Sam. Losing Jessica, losing your father, the visions and now River. It’s too much for anyone.”
“How do you know about my brother’s made up girlfriend?” asked Dean with fake gusto. Sam clenched his fists at his sides, turning his head to snarl at Dean, but Missouri interrupted first.
“River Tam is a real girl, Dean” said Missouri slowly, like she was talking to a child. “A broken little girl, who found Sam in her dreams. I know it doesn’t make sense, honey, but honestly it’s not supposed to. Whatever is happening between you and River Tam can’t be helped.”
“But the things happening to us in our dreams, cuts or…or grass stains on our skin, they carry over into consciousness and that can’t be normal-!”
“First thing you boys have to understand is that you and River aren’t normal. River Tam is a seer in her time, and her government destroyed her innocence, while the powers that be are influencing whatever potentials they’ve given Sam in ours. Somehow the wires have crossed and I’m sorry, but it’s not going to end without pain.”
“Pain? What do you mean ‘pain’?” asked Dean sitting up suddenly, looking hard and nervous. “So Sam’s been a bit cranky, but it’s only because he’s not getting any real sleep.”
“You have to remember, Dean, that Sam’s not the only person being affected by this situation,” said Missouri delicately. “River is in an unbearable amount of pain that only deserts her when she’s asleep, consequently, when she sleeps she has Sam.”
“What do you mean, River’s in pain?” asked Sam, his breath hitching in his throat with concern. “She ca-she’s not- she hasn’t mentioned it to me.”
“What Dean walked in on yesterday was her reality overlapping with the both of yours,” explained Missouri. “Dean changed your reality by being there, and if he had stayed he would have shot her.” Sam’s jaw clenched in anger, shooting Dean a glare. He didn’t even try to look guilty.
“If I did, she would have died in her reality?” Missouri nodded solemnly and Dean nodded in return. “Then I’m sorry I tried to,” he said to Sam softly, glancing at his brother. “But you cannot blame me for trying to protect you.”
“It’s not your job to protect me,” snapped Sam, looking sharply at Dean, who’s face went ashen.
“Don’t tell me it‘s not my job. Don’t ever tell me that, and don’t ever tell me to stop protecting you, Sammy. If there’s one thing I will always regret, it’s that I haven’t protected you the way I should.”
Sam’s anger fizzled out, his glare softening. “That’s not true, Dean.”
“Then stop fucking telling me not to.”
“Boys,” interrupted Missouri, before Sam could reply with anything. They both looked at her, clearly in better moods with each other. “There is something you need to know.”
.
Simon stood outside the infirmary with his hands braced against the window, staring at River, no longer strapped down to the chair but walking numbly around the small room. She wouldn’t acknowledge him as she paced the length of the room, her fingers ghosting across the closed door every time she passed, like she was making sure she was still locked inside. A reflection in the window caught Simon’s attention and he glanced at Kaylee in the glass. She looked calm, collected and thoughtful, while Simon just looked angry, his eyebrows drawn together and his eyes narrowed, jaw clenched in exasperation because fuck River, if she would just tell him what was going on. Simon’s eyes flickered back to River.
“Hello, Kaylee.”
“Has she said anything?”
Kaylee knew better than to ask and Simon was too angry to snap at her. River had swore at him when he demanded to know what she was hiding from him and he’d left to room. She knew he wouldn’t give in, not when it was between her life and her love, and he would have thought she’s understand that, but she hadn’t and he was left standing outside not knowing what to do. If he wasn’t so angry, maybe he would have noticed that Kaylee looked far less concerned than he would have expected her to.
“I just want to help her.”
“I don’t think she’s looking for help, Simon. I could help you, if you wanted.”
“She wont talk to me, Kaylee, I doubt she’ll talk to anyone.”
Kaylee stepped forward, placing her hand on Simon’s back, just under his shoulder, comforting. “I can help you, Simon, so you can place blame where it’s due.”
“You can-what?” Simon’s anger vanished for a moment and he turned his head, glancing down Kaylee’s body for a moment in confusion (while he tried to understand what she meant) before looking her in the eye seriously. “You know who raped River?”
The flash of a smile should have put him off, but Simon wasn’t thinking clearly, obviously, because as Kaylee nodded Simon’s ears started buzzing with rage. Kaylee ran her hand down the side of his face, pushing his hair behind his ear and curling the strands around her fingers. “It’ll cost you.”
Logic cleared his eyes for a moment and he frowned down at Kaylee, stepping back slightly out of her arms. “Cost me what?”
Kaylee shrugged, the almost smile looking foreign and wrong on her face. “Maybe nothing, depends on what you do when you find out.”
Simon tilted his head slightly, looking at her differently. Something about Kaylee wasn’t right he just didn’t know what, and what she was saying, about finding out who didn’t to River, about knowing, that wasn’t something he could just pass up. He looked back to the infirmary, where River was sitting on the counter, looking pale and scared with the fingertips of one hand dancing over her abdomen, like she was playing the piano. He would do whatever it took to make this right again.
“How?”
Kaylee’s reflection smiled wide and Simon felt her step closer to him, pressing herself against the side of him, brushing her mouth against his ear in a very un-Kaylee-like way. She whispered into his ear, her right hand coming up to grip his chin and force his face back toward hers, away from the window.
River’s head shot up, staring straight through Simon, watching the black push away the light of Kaylee’s soul at the surface until the within was visible.
She watched Kaylee press her mouth against Simon’s.
And screamed.
part 9
Author: Liv darkmagic-luvr
Fandom: Supernatural/Firefly
Characters: all of the above
Rating: R
Warnings: general spoilers.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Supernatural or Firefly. Any characters you don’t recognize are original and should not be used without my permission.
Author’s Note: Holy Christ. I’m not sure how I feel about the end, I almost don’t like it.
part 1|part 2|part 3| part 4|part 5|part 6 | part 7
Simon was sitting in a chair next to River in the infirmary, his hands clasped, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees, staring at her as she slept. His head dropped with a sigh, eyes focused on the ground as flashes of suspicions and facts burned behind his eyes. The facts said River was pregnant, and the doctor in him had to admit that it was true. He’d done five more tests with five different blood samples before his resources became threatened and his sanity called into question. Book had stayed with him the entire time, silent, staring down at River with his hands clasped and his face blank. The suspicion said that someone on the crew had to be blamed, but there were only so many to accuse. Book would never, Simon was out of the question, Wash was a ridiculous suggestion, Mal wouldn’t dare, Jayne didn’t care enough.
The person in Simon who still liked playing dinosaurs with his baby sister suggested that the Alliance had something to do with it, maybe implanted an embryo within her womb set to start gestating at a specific time. But why on earth would the Alliance go through so much trouble to impregnate a 16 year old? The facts told him it wasn’t possible, that there had to be a mistake. The suspicions were less convincing.
Simon looked up and away from the infirmary floor the moment River started to wake. She jerked her limbs, pinned down by leather straps to the chair for a moment. Simon placed his hand against her arm to settle her, but she snarled at him, jerking violently at his touch.
“Don’t touch me, Simon,” whispered River, her voice harsh, tears catching in the corners of her eyes as she stared up at the ceiling. Simon recoiled, but didn’t let the hurt show on his face.
“We have to talk, River,” muttered Simon, looking away from her. She didn’t answer, he didn’t expect her to and he continued anyway. “First, the blood. How long ago did it start.”
She was glaring at him out of the corner of her eyes, burning with rage and set jaw. She exhaled hard through her nose, but answered him. “Not so long.”
“Days? Weeks? I need to know, River-”
“Weeks. Three, maybe less.” she hated him, he could see that, but she was answering him and if there was any logic left in his sister she would understand that all he wanted was her safety. He nodded, touching his fingertips together and leaning forward slightly, staring her down.
“Why have you been keeping it from me?”
“I didn’t want you to worry-”
“Don’t lie to me.”
River looked away sharply, silently telling him it wasn’t a question she could answer easily with someone she didn’t trust. She didn’t trust him, so he nodded, knowing she could see him and stood. The movement caught her attention and confusion flashed across her face for a moment.
“I’m going to tell you something that may surprise you,” said Simon carefully, his eyes hard with disappointment and anger. River held his gaze, her head tilted slightly, trying to read him unsuccessfully. It only fueled her anger with him, anger that was quickly doused out by his next words. “You’re pregnant.”
“That-that-that’s not…that’s not,” it was the first time Simon had ever seen his sister lost for words, it was the first time he’d seen her react to something unknown. If she had been the old River, it might have amused him to see her panic like this, but in this River it was just sad. Simon shook his head, eyes still angry, his voice still hard.
“What are you keeping from me, River, tell me. Now.”
.
Bobby decided not to go with them to Kansas to see Missouri (Sam thought it was because he didn‘t feel like babysitting them for 300 fucking miles, Bobby insisted that he just loved them too much to be forced to kill them). Dean drove the whole way white knuckled against the steering wheel, dreading the trip home. Sam stared at him through the corner of his eye once it became clear how tense his brother was. Sam sighed, closing his eyes to try and get some sleep, maybe see…but it wasn’t happening. River wasn’t there, and it felt wrong to dream without her, like he was cheating on her with his nightmares or something.
They pulled up in front of a house with a yard and a picket fence. Dean shook his head and climbed out of the car, Sam following close behind. Dean didn’t have a chance to ring the bell before the door swung open, revealing a large black woman with one hand on her hip and a bible in the other. Dean blinked, startled for a moment before the woman whacked him in the forehead with her scripture.
“What the -!?”
“Don’t you start swearin’, mister, you’re lucky that’s all I did to you. Invading Sam’s dreams! Some things are private, Dean.” Sam tried not to let his amusement show as he addressed the woman in front of them, while Dean gaped at her.
“Missouri?”
“Come in, sweetie, we have a lot to talk about.”
So Sam did and Dean grumbled behind him, stomping into the house after him. Missouri gave him a look that told him to shut up and lead them into a sitting area just off the hallway lit with sunlight and glassy surfaces. There was coffee steaming in cups on the coffee table in front of the couch and warm cookies on the plate. Missouri gestured Dean to the plate and suddenly all was forgiven. Dean fell back onto the couch with a sigh and-
“Boy, if you put so much as a toe on my table I will whip you upside the head.”
Dean looked startled. “I wasn’t going to-”
“Don’t even try to lie, honey.” It wasn’t often that Sam got to see Dean pout, but he had a feeling he’d be seeing a lot of it if Missouri had anything to do about it. He sat next to his brother in an awkward silence, looking around the room so he wouldn’t have to look at Missouri, who sat down in the armchair across from them.
“So, how did you know our dad?“ asked Dean, completely bypassing the real reason they were there and munching on a cookie nonchalantly. Missouri looked coolly at him.
“We both know that’s not why you’re here, so don’t even try to test me.”
She was a fortune teller, or a medium or something along those lines, able to pull back the proverbial veil and just know things. Just like-
“Very close to what River does, Sam.” said Missouri, interrupting Sam’s thought process. Oh yeah, they were screwed. Missouri chuckled at him and leaned forward to pick up a cup of coffee, settling into her chair with a sip and a sympathetic look at Sam. “I’m so sorry you have to go through this, Sam. Losing Jessica, losing your father, the visions and now River. It’s too much for anyone.”
“How do you know about my brother’s made up girlfriend?” asked Dean with fake gusto. Sam clenched his fists at his sides, turning his head to snarl at Dean, but Missouri interrupted first.
“River Tam is a real girl, Dean” said Missouri slowly, like she was talking to a child. “A broken little girl, who found Sam in her dreams. I know it doesn’t make sense, honey, but honestly it’s not supposed to. Whatever is happening between you and River Tam can’t be helped.”
“But the things happening to us in our dreams, cuts or…or grass stains on our skin, they carry over into consciousness and that can’t be normal-!”
“First thing you boys have to understand is that you and River aren’t normal. River Tam is a seer in her time, and her government destroyed her innocence, while the powers that be are influencing whatever potentials they’ve given Sam in ours. Somehow the wires have crossed and I’m sorry, but it’s not going to end without pain.”
“Pain? What do you mean ‘pain’?” asked Dean sitting up suddenly, looking hard and nervous. “So Sam’s been a bit cranky, but it’s only because he’s not getting any real sleep.”
“You have to remember, Dean, that Sam’s not the only person being affected by this situation,” said Missouri delicately. “River is in an unbearable amount of pain that only deserts her when she’s asleep, consequently, when she sleeps she has Sam.”
“What do you mean, River’s in pain?” asked Sam, his breath hitching in his throat with concern. “She ca-she’s not- she hasn’t mentioned it to me.”
“What Dean walked in on yesterday was her reality overlapping with the both of yours,” explained Missouri. “Dean changed your reality by being there, and if he had stayed he would have shot her.” Sam’s jaw clenched in anger, shooting Dean a glare. He didn’t even try to look guilty.
“If I did, she would have died in her reality?” Missouri nodded solemnly and Dean nodded in return. “Then I’m sorry I tried to,” he said to Sam softly, glancing at his brother. “But you cannot blame me for trying to protect you.”
“It’s not your job to protect me,” snapped Sam, looking sharply at Dean, who’s face went ashen.
“Don’t tell me it‘s not my job. Don’t ever tell me that, and don’t ever tell me to stop protecting you, Sammy. If there’s one thing I will always regret, it’s that I haven’t protected you the way I should.”
Sam’s anger fizzled out, his glare softening. “That’s not true, Dean.”
“Then stop fucking telling me not to.”
“Boys,” interrupted Missouri, before Sam could reply with anything. They both looked at her, clearly in better moods with each other. “There is something you need to know.”
.
Simon stood outside the infirmary with his hands braced against the window, staring at River, no longer strapped down to the chair but walking numbly around the small room. She wouldn’t acknowledge him as she paced the length of the room, her fingers ghosting across the closed door every time she passed, like she was making sure she was still locked inside. A reflection in the window caught Simon’s attention and he glanced at Kaylee in the glass. She looked calm, collected and thoughtful, while Simon just looked angry, his eyebrows drawn together and his eyes narrowed, jaw clenched in exasperation because fuck River, if she would just tell him what was going on. Simon’s eyes flickered back to River.
“Hello, Kaylee.”
“Has she said anything?”
Kaylee knew better than to ask and Simon was too angry to snap at her. River had swore at him when he demanded to know what she was hiding from him and he’d left to room. She knew he wouldn’t give in, not when it was between her life and her love, and he would have thought she’s understand that, but she hadn’t and he was left standing outside not knowing what to do. If he wasn’t so angry, maybe he would have noticed that Kaylee looked far less concerned than he would have expected her to.
“I just want to help her.”
“I don’t think she’s looking for help, Simon. I could help you, if you wanted.”
“She wont talk to me, Kaylee, I doubt she’ll talk to anyone.”
Kaylee stepped forward, placing her hand on Simon’s back, just under his shoulder, comforting. “I can help you, Simon, so you can place blame where it’s due.”
“You can-what?” Simon’s anger vanished for a moment and he turned his head, glancing down Kaylee’s body for a moment in confusion (while he tried to understand what she meant) before looking her in the eye seriously. “You know who raped River?”
The flash of a smile should have put him off, but Simon wasn’t thinking clearly, obviously, because as Kaylee nodded Simon’s ears started buzzing with rage. Kaylee ran her hand down the side of his face, pushing his hair behind his ear and curling the strands around her fingers. “It’ll cost you.”
Logic cleared his eyes for a moment and he frowned down at Kaylee, stepping back slightly out of her arms. “Cost me what?”
Kaylee shrugged, the almost smile looking foreign and wrong on her face. “Maybe nothing, depends on what you do when you find out.”
Simon tilted his head slightly, looking at her differently. Something about Kaylee wasn’t right he just didn’t know what, and what she was saying, about finding out who didn’t to River, about knowing, that wasn’t something he could just pass up. He looked back to the infirmary, where River was sitting on the counter, looking pale and scared with the fingertips of one hand dancing over her abdomen, like she was playing the piano. He would do whatever it took to make this right again.
“How?”
Kaylee’s reflection smiled wide and Simon felt her step closer to him, pressing herself against the side of him, brushing her mouth against his ear in a very un-Kaylee-like way. She whispered into his ear, her right hand coming up to grip his chin and force his face back toward hers, away from the window.
River’s head shot up, staring straight through Simon, watching the black push away the light of Kaylee’s soul at the surface until the within was visible.
She watched Kaylee press her mouth against Simon’s.
And screamed.
part 9