Ghosts, Part V
Title: Ghosts
Author(s): darkmagic-luvr
Crossover: Supernatural/Firefly
Disclaimer: I do not own Firefly or Supernatural. Any characters you don't recognize are my own and should not be used without my permission.
Type: het
Word Count: Part V - 8730
Characters/Pairings: Part V - Sam Winchester, Inara Serra, Dean Winchester, Mal Reynolds, River Tam, Simon Tam, Jayne Cobb, Kaylee Frye, Shepherd Book, Zoë Alleyne Washburne, Hoban Washburne, Ruby, Lilith
Warnings: sex, lanuage, violence, death
Spoilers: the Firefly 'verse and through the beginning of season 4 of Supernatural
Artist: quiet-reble
Link to Art: here
Summary: Inara never wanted to die, and with the help of the Winchesters she hadn't for over 500 years. When an old friend and lover walks back into her life, she has to open her closet and face her skeletons, whether either of them want to.
Author’s Notes: Chinese translations at the bottom. Last part! I suck at finishing things, so I'm nervous about the ending.
(PART V)
Mal wouldn’t look at Inara when he and the crew were back on the ship. He turned to Sam instead and asked if he was finished. Sam told him what he did and how it would protect them. He seemed satisfied (somewhat creepifide, but still satisfied) and went to his bunk. Kaylee stopped at Sam’s shoulder, watching her captain walk off.
“He’s in love with Inara,” she said softly, catching Sam off guard. He turned his head down to look at her.
“Does Inara know?”
“No,” said Kaylee, shifting uncomfortably under Sam’s eyes. “’Cause she’s in love with him too.”
“Really,” said Sam tightly. He felt a burning in his chest, and realized it had been a very long time since he had been jealous. He felt Kaylee’s distress and tried to push his feelings out of the way. He had been an idiot to think she wouldn’t fall for someone else, but not having the decency to tell him? He snorted at the thought.
“Probably why he doesn’t like you,” said Kaylee with a shrug, trying to sound helpful. Sam didn’t answer., instead he looked away and headed off to Inara’s shuttle, leaving Kaylee staring after him.
He wasn’t mad, he assured himself, he wasn’t mad at her at least. Mad at himself? Maybe, if he was it was only because he couldn’t see it in the beginning. All the signs were there, he’d just been so wrapped up in finding Dean that it hadn’t occurred to him that she might have been moving on. He had been selfish, and the epiphany nearly had him freezing in his tracks.
Yelling at Inara was out, so was accusing her of anything. Being frustrated at her for not telling him how she felt about Mal? He could do that.
She was cleaning the Colt when he walked in, and when she looked up he reprimanded himself for not at least calming down after Kaylee’s admission. Inara’s eyes narrowed playfully, trying to figure out what was bugging him. Sam just crossed his arms over his chest, feeling his nostrils flare in annoyance.
“What?”
“Mal,” said Sam, watching Inara’s face for any sign of change. She just looked at him curiously. “You’re in love with him.”
It wasn’t a question. Inara felt her mouth fall open, staring at Sam like he was crazy.
“Wh-?”
“Kaylee told me,” said Sam. Inara raised an eyebrow.
“And you believed her?”
“It makes sense,” said Sam with a shrug. “He loves you too.”
Inara’s mouth snapped shut, her face going completely blank, void of any emotions. On the inside she was fuming. She didn’t need this, not right now of all times.
“Are you done being ridiculous?” she asked coolly, finishing with the Colt and standing up from her couch.
“I’m fine with it,” said Sam softly, surprising himself by his words. “I just didn’t know if you were.”
“I’m not in love with him, Sam,” snapped Inara, rolling her eyes as she walked around him to her dresser. Sam sighed and sat on her bed, leaning over to grab his journal from the bag at his feet. Inara glanced back at him.
“What are you doing?”
“Going over some Latin,” he said stiffly. It wasn’t like he needed it, but just in case things got out of hand. Inara nodded once and turned back to her dresser and froze, staring at her partially opened dresser drawer. She stared at it for a moment before moving around him. Her fingers trailed along the gap between the wood before she slid open the drawer. Isaiah’s face shone on the gloss and it was slightly crinkled, like someone had help onto it too hard.
Inara frowned down at it, her mouth working questions she could bring herself to voice. She shut her mouth and reached into the drawer, pulling out her photo and staring at it. She wanted to ask what had happened to it, if River had been messing around with it. She traced her sons face with her fingertips all her questions dieing on her tongue. Except for one.
“Sam,” started Inara, not looking back at him from the photo. He waited for her to continue, but when she didn’t he looked up.
“Yeah?”
“Did you ever…did you ever think about trying again?”
“Trying what again?” Sam mumbled, looking back at his journal, running through the Latin again.
“Having another baby,” Sam felt his heart stop for a moment, then sputter back to life. He had dropped the journal without realizing it, and it was lying on the floor face up. Sam looked back up at Inara, his eyes burning holes into the back of her head.
“Yes,” he managed to whisper, barely audible, and he didn’t think he heard himself when he said it. “I do.”
Inara turned her head to the side, looking at him out of the corner of her eye. She didn’t say anything, so Sam turned his head back down to his journal reluctantly. And for a few moments they were both quite. Sam couldn’t concentrate and he slammed his book shut, flinging it across her shuttle. He stood up and ran a hand over his face, not able to look at her.
“You can’t do this to me, Inara,” said Sam softly.
“I can’t-”
“You pushed me away,” he snapped, interrupting her. Her mouth hung open, mid sentence, staring at him. “You left me, when you promised you would never leave me again, you left.”
“I know.”
“I loved him too,” said Sam, his voice catching. “It wasn’t just you. I had to watch him die-”
“Sam, stop-”
“-and I’m tired. I’m tired of you looking at me like it’s my fault.”
Inara closed her eyes, feeling Sam leave the shuttle. She didn’t open them again until she was sure he was gone, replacing her photo back in it’s drawer and closing it shut.
“So am I.”
.
Everyone had very specific instructions to not touch the salt. Jayne was eyeing it warily and glancing at Sam, who was going through the spell with Ruby quietly.
“Hey, how’re we gonna get rid of them?” he asked loudly. Sam looked up at him and frowned.
“A spell. Why?”
“Just… curious is all,” mumbled Jayne, turning his head back down to the salt. He left soon after, leaving Ruby and Sam alone in the cargo bay. Ruby sniffed the air in a displeased way, her eyes flashing as she eyed Sam.
“This isn’t going to go well, you know that right?” Sam just nodded, making her roll her eyes. “Don’t go getting all concerned-”
“Ruby, just go over the spell with me.”
“I already told you-”
“No you didn’t. How much?”
“How much…?”
“Blood,” snapped Sam. “How much of my blood has to go into this spell?”
Ruby didn’t wince, but she didn’t look him in the eye either. “A lot.”
“And what’s the chance of me surviving this?”
Ruby shrugged. “The same as anyone else.”
“And how many of us are going to die doing this?”
“You really want my opinion?” asked Ruby, her eyes narrowing. “You wont like it.”
“I never do,” said Sam quietly, turning away from Ruby. “I have to talk to Mal.”
“Good luck.”
Sam ignored her sarcasm and left her, passing by Simon in the infirmary, getting his supplies out and ready for the inevitable. He didn’t look as Sam as he passed, though River (who was sitting on the stairs near the infirmary) did.
“They’ll just keep coming.”
“Not this time,” said Sam quietly to himself, not bothering to stop.
“They want you to be their king.”
“Not all of them,” Sam called over his shoulder, thinking of Lilith. That thought made him hope that Ruby’s deal with her would be enough. He didn’t run into anyone else until he reached Mal’s bunk, pounding on the door a few times.
Mal’s door hissed open and Sam her the captain sigh when he realized who it was before climbing the ladder, preferring to talk face to face instead of up at him.
“What’s the problem?” asked Mal.
“I need you to promise me not to interfere,” said Sam, his voice was soft but his eyes were stuck on Mal’s, telling him silently that he was very much serious about his statement. Mal’s eyes narrowed.
“You givin’ me orders?”
“Yeah,” said Sam, narrowing his eyes slightly. Mal chuckled scathingly.
“Well I don’t take orders on my boat.”
“Not even if it meant keeping your crew alive?”
“I’ll make the decisions on how to keep my crew safe. It ain’t your job.”
“I know how to deal with demons. You don’t.”
Mal’s eyes narrowed, matching Sam’s expression. Behind them Jayne poked his head out of his bunk, frowning at the two of them.
“Cap’n?”
“Fine,” said Sam coolly, backing off, his eyes never leaving Mal’s. “You know what’s best.”
He turned and walked off, leaving Mal glaring at spot he was standing in, while Jayne looked a bit bemused by Sam’s retreat.
“What was that about?”
“Nothing,” said Mal quietly, turning back to his bunk. Jayne stared at him, not completely convinced. He wasn’t able to ask anything else however, as Mal had already turned in.
The rest of the day past uneventfully. Sam continued to prep the ship (with the help of Shepherd Book and Kaylee, who was helping to try and make it up to him for spilling the beans on Inara and Mal). Only when Zoë mentioned the time did he head back to Inara’s shuttle. He didn’t speak as he made his way up the stairs, leaving Kaylee, Zoë and Book staring after him.
“He doesn’t seem very optimistic, does he?” mused Book.
“When you’re around as long as we’ve been, you learn that optimism just isn’t worth it,” the trio turned to see Ruby perched on top of a few crates, cleaning a silver knife with some sort of engravings on it. She was turned away from the Devil’s Trap, and the lines of salt, but it was hard to notice. Her eyes flickered to their faces and she smirked.
“Not like he hasn’t been in worse situations,” Zoë’s eye’s narrowed at her for a split second, so fast it was hard to catch before she turned to leave.
“Get some sleep Shepherd, Kaylee,” her eyes flickered back to Ruby before she turned away completely and walked out of the cargo bay. Book didn’t seem to mind Ruby’s words, but he wasn’t going to stay and chat, instead he put his arm on Kaylee’s shoulder and walked her to her bunk. Ruby stared after them, her smirk flickering off her face and her eyes narrowing.
They were fucked.
Kaylee couldn’t sleep. She could barely closer her eyes. She was scared, anxious and awake. She couldn’t lie in bed waiting for something to happen, even though both Mal and Inara had expressed how much they didn’t want her involved in anything. She didn’t want to be, but the thought of someone getting hurt trying to protect her…
Sighing at her thoughts, Kaylee rolled out of bed, grabbing her jumpsuit and heading for the engine room, thinking she could work on Serenity for awhile to calm her nerves. It was already late, Sam had told everyone that being alone wasn’t a good idea, that they should stay in their bunks and just let everything play out, but she couldn’t. Serenity needed her.
She quickly became absorbed by her work, humming to herself as she fiddled with a tricky spot on the engine with her wrench. She hadn’t realized how late it was, and she had no intention of stopping until she was finished. It wouldn’t be too much longer, she was almost-
“Hey, Kaylee,” she jumped, her wrench clattering to the ground as she straightened up and spun around. She sighed, closing her eyes in relief.
“Jayne. It’s just you. Ya scared me.”
“Sorry ‘bout that,” said Jayne slowly. He looked her over carefully, making Kaylee slightly uncomfortable. She shifted in her boots and bent to pick up her wrench, talking as she did.
“What are ya doin’ up here?”
Jayne didn’t answer her, he didn’t even let her stand up properly before he was on her, spinning her around and crushing her against his chest. Kaylee’s eyes widened in horror, feeling one of Jayne’s arms slide around her throat, cutting off her air supply. He tightened his arm around her neck, his mouth pressed against her ear. She could feel him grinning.
“Sam did a good job,” said Jayne gruffly, his free hand skimming the front of Kaylee’s body. “But he forgot about the crews quarters.”
“J-Jayne,” sputtered Kaylee, clawing at the arm around her neck. “Wh-what are you doin’?”
“’S not Jayne anymore,” he murmured, laughing quietly in her ear. “But don’t worry, I’ll let him go. Maybe I’ll even let him live.”
“Dean,” said Kaylee, fighting the urge to be sick. Sam hadn’t said nothin’ about Dean takin’ over someone on the ship. It wasn’t supposed to happen like this.
“How- how long have you been here?” asked Kaylee softly, tears burning hot at the corners of her eyes. Dean chuckled against her neck.
“Longer than you want to know.”
“Are you gonna kill me?” asked Kaylee softly, swallowing the bile rising up in her throat.
“Yes,” she squeezed her eyes tightly, the tears building up in them sliding down her face. “It wont hurt. I promise.”
“Sam…Sam says I shouldn’t believe what you say. That you’re lyin’.”
“Sam would know,” said Dean softly and Kaylee opened her eyes. “You didn’t see what he did to me. He ripped me from my body.”
“It ain’t your body to have,” another tear fell from her eye and onto her cheek, rolling down to her chin to collect with the others, dripping onto the front of her shirt. Dean lifted his hand and brushed the tears off her jaw.
“Who says we own our bodies? What if our only purpose is to house demons and angels? What if that’s it?”
“Please-”
“I’m not going to kill you here, lil’ Kaylee,” said Dean softly, pressing his lips to her cheek. “I can wait.”
“I want to rip Ruby up into little pieces,” Kaylee’s eyes flickered to her right, just barely making out the form of the little blonde girl she thought she saw earlier. Her mouth opened in horror, there was blood down the front of her dress, splattered across her face, soaked in her hands.
“Who’d you kill?” asked Dean, looking down at the little girl. She beamed up at him.
“One of the vampires.”
“Which one?”
“The mean one.”
“What about Lenore?”
“She watched!” Kaylee closed her eyes, trying not to imagine the vampires she met on Osiris bleeding and corpselike. Dean shifted against her back, and his mouth was on her ear again.
“You have to behead a vampire to kill it,” said Dean softly. “Lilith tore his head off-”
“Oh god,” Kaylee couldn’t help feeling sick, her knees buckling underneath her. Dean’s arm around her neck was the only thing keeping her up. Lilith frowned at her, then snapped back into a bright sunny little girl, looking up at Dean.
“Can I kill her?”
“Stop being a brat,” growled Dean, moving his arm away from Kaylee and letting her crumple to the floor. He looked over at Lilith and raised an eyebrow. “It’s not cute.”
“You’re mean too,” Dean rolled his eyes and turned back to Kaylee, squatting down next to her and folding his hands together, resting his elbows on his knees.
“Kaylee, you going to come with us, and you’re not going to scream. Alright?” Kaylee nodded. “Say it.”
“I’m not going to scream,” repeated Kaylee weakly. Dean nodded.
“But the first thing you’re going to do,” he began, reaching out and gripping her upper arm, pulling her up with him as he stood up. “Is get the psychic.”
“No, no don’t hurt River-”
“If you do what I say, she wont be,” hissed Dean, his hand tightening around her arm. She knew it was going to bruise, if not break, under his grip so she nodded and he released her. Kaylee blinked the tears out of her eyes until she could see clearly and looked over her shoulder at Lilith. The little girl with her big brown eyes and curly honey-blonde hair was just a cute as a button.
‘The cute little girl will snap your neck with a twist of her wrist if she gets the chance.’ Sam had said, he had been completely serious, trying to scare them into being completely on guard. Kaylee eyed the girl wearily and then looked back at Dean, wondering if one devil was safer than the other.
She thought fleetingly that the only real question was which one would kill her quickly and which one would rip her skin from her bones and dangle it in front of her face. She swallowed back the thought and stared forward out of the engine room on shaky legs, bracing herself as she brushed her shoulder with Dean’s. The demons followed her, Lilith skipping along next to her. Kaylee tried not to think about what they would do to her, so she concentrated on walking, one step in front of the other and before she new it she was standing in the common area, standing stock still, staring at River’s room. Dean glanced at her, then back at River’s door and folded his arms over his chest. Lilith looked up at them, a bratty little frown forming on her face.
“Why aren’t we moving?”
“She’ll come to us,” said Dean. The rice paper door slid open and a pointed foot stepped out gracefully, fallowed by the rest of River’s body, staring straight ahead, like she was listening for directions. Kaylee opened her mouth to call out to River, that it wasn’t safe, to get the captain, but she didn’t have a chance. River’s head snapped onto them, her eyes on Dean. She blinked once at him and a smile slid across her face.
“You brought a friend.”
“Hello, River.”
“Don‘t cry, Kaylee,” said River, giving her friend a comforting smile. “Everything’s going to be okay.”
Dean chuckled at her and moved around Kaylee, careful to keep his eyes on River incase she was planning something. It didn’t seem like it, but he had a feeling she wouldn’t be as predictable as Sam would.
River’s bare feet padded along the cool floor, staring through Dean instead of at him. Her eyes ghosted over Kaylee’s face and then finally Lilith’s, stopping in front of Dean, close enough that her dress brushed against him. Dean’s eyes narrowed at her and he jerked his head toward the cargo bay.
“After you.”
River didn’t answer, just obeyed, practically dancing through the door with Dean very close behind her. The moment he and Lilith stepped into the cargo bay however, the door behind them slammed shut. And something heavy fell from the ceiling, hitting the ground in a perfect circle around Lilith. Her eyes flashed white with fury and she gave Dean a look that could melt the skin off his bones.
Dean reacted on instinct, grabbing Kaylee by her hair to keep her from running off. River had been a lost cause, and she smirked at him just out of reached. The Shepherd he and Bela had met stepped out of the darkness behind River, a grim look plastered across his face, his hands clasped behind his back. Lilith’s eyes shot up to where the salt had dropped from, and Dean’s eyes flickered up as well (out of curiosity), slightly surprised to see Inara dusting off her hands.
The whole fucking crew was in the cargo bay, all of them looking at Lilith menacingly, and at Dean like her was….well, like he was-
“Jayne!?”
“Sorry, Captain,” said Dean with a shrug, sounding like Jayne they knew and tightening his grip on Kaylee. “But I ain’t takin’ orders from you.”
“It’s not Jayne,” shouted Kaylee. She struggled once against Dean’s arm and fell still again. “It’s Sam’s brother.”
“He is not my brother,” hissed Dean, jerking Kaylee’s head back by her hair. There was an audible click behind them, making Dean freeze in his movements. He loosened his grip on Kaylee, going as far as to let his hand fall to his side. He turned, not surprised to see Inara standing behind him with the Colt pointed at his head. Kaylee took the opportunity to run, skidding behind Mal when she got close enough.
“Are you alright, lil’ Kaylee?” he asked warily, keeping his eyes narrowed on Jay- on Dean’s form, waiting to see if he would make a move.
“Shiny, Cap’n.”
Mal’s eyes were hard as he stared at Jayne, of all the people to take over, it just had to be Jayne. He glanced over at Sam, who hadn’t made the move to make himself known. Ruby was standing beside him. Something flashed in her hand and was quickly transferred to Sam inconspicuously, however the movement caught Lilith’s eye, and the little girl’s sweet face twisted into disgusted when she recognized Sam and Ruby. For a moment Mal actually thought the girl might spit at them. Sam blinked slowly at the pair of demons and took a few steps forward until he was standing directly across from Dean.
“Surprise,” said River eagerly, smiling despite the situation. Dean ignored her and continued staring at Sam, his anger boiling over.
“You son of a bitch-!” Dean snarled, starting forward quickly only to find himself thrown back to the floor. A nerve in Jayne’s face twitched and he looked up, his eyes snapping black as he registered the Devil’s Trap. His lips pulled back over his teeth in a sneer and his head snapped back to look at Sam.
“I forgot about that one,” he spat and they watched him standing up carefully, his eyes going back to normal with a blink, never moving them away from Sam.
“You really are something,” said Dean, his voice sharp and quiet. Sam didn’t flinch, letting Dean continue. “You knew someone on this piece of shit was being possessed. I’m surprised you didn’t start throwing holy water at everyone.”
“I’m surprised you decided to possess Jayne. What’s it like in there? Does he remind you of who you used to be?” Sam scoffed, trying to fake disgust. He needed Dean angry, vulnerable, open for error. “You’re not smart enough to pick someone like Mal or the preacher,” he said softly, this silver knife Ruby had handed him warming in his palm. “And you wouldn’t dare possess Inara.”
“Well, I didn’t want to have to get my freak on with you,” snarled Dean. Sam smirked at him and glanced out of the corner of his eye at Ruby, who was watching carefully. Lilith hadn’t moved from her spot behind Dean, but her narrowed eyes never left Sam.
“Ruby,” called Sam, not looking away from the blonde girl. Ruby glanced at him quickly, letting him know he had her attention. “Do you mind?”
Ruby closed her eyes in annoyance and stepped forward. For the first time Lilith’s eyes snapped onto her, and a sickeningly sweet smile spread over the little girls face.
“I accept.”
Dean literally growled at her, but Lilith’s smile merely widened. “Ours was a partnership of little promise. You wanted my help, I gave it to you. Ruby is something I’m going to enjoy more than you will ever know. I’ll see you in the pit, Dean.”
Shepherd Book had been standing next to the ring of salt carefully, not wanting to get to close, but was ready to free Lilith if she agreed to leave. In two moments he had swept a line of salt away and gone back to his former position, while Lilith ignored his presence completely. With a snap she had vanished from her place in the circle and was standing in front of Ruby, her eyes white and her hair blowing behind her in a breeze that wasn’t there.
Sam didn’t need to give the signal. Zoë was already there, the knife in her hand. In the split second it took Zoë to raise the blade Lilith’s head snapped around, staring at the warrior woman as she plunged the knife into the girl’s face, flinching away from the blood that sprayed out. It missed over her face and Ruby’s, thought neither of them seemed to mind, both their eyes on Lilith as her body crackled with dead light. Zoë wrenched the knife out, (the only support Lilith’s body had) and her knees hit the ground with a crack.
Dean was seething. His eyes snapping from Ruby and Zoë to Sam. The smell of blood filled the air, making it stale and hard to breathe. No one looked at the body of the little girl. No one except Dean, who might have been delighted that the bitch was gone, if he hadn’t been so. Very. Angry.
“You knew.”
It was a vague statement, but Sam understood. Yeah, he knew. He knew that Dean had possessed Jayne after being exorcized from his previous body. He knew Dean was there when Ruby pretended to give herself up as lent for Lilith. He knew Kaylee would be an easy target, that River would lead him into a trap, that all his planning and rage was frivolous. He knew Dean wouldn’t know what hit him.
Sam’s smirk was cold and detached in a way that didn’t reach his eyes. He heard Zoë breathing heavily, her boots scrapping against the metal floor as she backed away from the little girls corpse. She’d been dead for a long time…Dean’s eyes narrowed.
“They won’t kill their friend.”
“He ain’t exactly loveable,” Sam tried to fight the tug at his lips from Mal’s words. They were true, but it was still Jayne. He was crew, and Mal was bluffing.
The smirk on Dean’s face didn’t let up, he didn’t even let the words faze him. He just kept staring Sam down. The cold gaze brought back memories Sam didn’t want to remember, like the last time he ever Sam Dean’s eyes so black and cold.
“Sam,” started Ruby dangerously, startling him slightly out of his flashback. He glanced over at her, their eyes having a silent conversation.
Do it now, short bus.
Are you sure?
I wouldn’t be telling you to do it if I wasn’t sure. Living forever has not been well for your health, has it?
The knife in his hand suddenly feeling heavy. It would have to happen now, before Ruby blew a fuse, before Dean literally snapped, before he was ready to say goodbye to his brother… Sam’s eyes hardened as his own thoughts from an eternity ago echoed back in his head.
This wasn’t his brother. Not anymore.
Something must have clicked for Dean, because a suddenly bewildered look crossed Jayne’s features, turning quickly into rage. The wind was back, hissing dangerously against the walls of the ship. Ruby pulled a black candle out of the bag Sam hadn’t realized she was holding, dropping to her knees on the floor and lighting the candle. Sam felt the air being sucked out of his lungs and looked back at Dean, his eyes furious and black. His mouth was open in what could have been a scream, but whatever was coming out of Dean’s mouth was obscured by the wind and the screaming of everyone else on the boat.
“SAM, GOD DAMMIT! DO IT NOW!” Sam managed to hear Ruby’s voice over the rest, seeing how close she was and he quickly adjusted his grip on the knife she’d given him, sliding the blade deeply into the palm of his right hand.
Sam’s blood pooled in his palm, the sickening sent of metal filling the closed off cargo bay, the wind causing it to ripple in his hand. Mal was just blinking awake after being thrown into the hull of the ship after a particularly nasty gust of wind, his eyes out of focused due to the line of blood sliding down the side of his face. Kaylee was clutched her shin, her screams of pain going unheard, swallowed by everything else. Sam moved (difficulty) next to Ruby, who had drawn a pattern on the floor with the melted wax. Sam moved his blood filled hand over the pattern and tilted his hand, letting the blood fall.
The wind, the screaming, time itself. It stopped. River was the only one still standing, her dress still moving, her eyes closed. Zoë and Wash were pressed into one of the crates, cling to each other. Book and Inara had been thrown unceremoniously into the walls. Ruby was clinging to the ground like she was going to disappear if she let go. The body of the little girl had disappeared, but not without leaving smears of blood around the cargo bay.
Dean was staring at Sam’s hand, at the blood dripping onto the ground. Sam hadn’t noticed that Ruby’s mouth was moving, chanting the spell. At closer inspection the blood on the ground was moving on it own accord, spreading out to the perimeter of wax. The pattern filled with blood and started boiling. Sam felt lightheaded, but Ruby continued her spell, her eyes slipping closed and her body shaking. It took a very long moment for Sam to realize that it was almost over, time was slowing down, like a dream. He turned his head to look at Dean, but instead of finding Jayne’s body, his eyes stopped on Inara.
She was pressed into the wall, her head tilted back, her mouth hanging open in a silent scream, her eyes fluttered open and closed. It must have been from the lack of blood because he swore he saw his life flash before his eyes. Every moment he had with Dean, his father, Jess, Inara, Bobby. All of it, even his infancy, his son, his mother….
Something screamed, and he thought it might have been Dean, but blinking through the grogginess he realized that he was screaming too, that what he was seeing Dean was seeing. It wasn’t blood loss, it was the spell, ripping Dean from the existence he’d had with his baby brother, until all that was left was a memory.
It stopped. Everything stopped. The blood flowing from Sam’s hand, the silence. Dean. He stopped. Sam collapsed forward, catching himself on his elbow, lying the back of his right hand gingerly on the ground. He lifted his head slightly, listening as Kaylee’s cried of her broken leg broke the silence, Inara gasping for air now that Dean was purged from Jayne, who was lying unconscious under the Devil’s Trap. Sam blinked heavily, catching Inara’s eyes as she struggled to breath normally. She stared back, emotions flashing through her eyes that he couldn’t interpret.
“Sam? Can you hear me?” Simon’s face swirled in his eyes, on one knee in front of him. Sam mumbled something along the lines of ‘when did you get here?’ before Simon turned to Ruby.
“How much blood did you use?”
“A lot.”
“That’s not helpful,” said Simon with an aggravated sigh. After a moment digging quickly through his red bag Simon took Sam’s hand gently and wrapped it with gaze, muttered to himself about getting him a fucking transfusion before he stitched him back together.
Sam’s vision swam for what felt like hours, here voices around him, screams of pain, swearing -
“It’s not like I knew what would happen.”
“No, but you had a pretty good inkling, didn’t you?”
“Are you threatening me, Reynolds? Do you know what I could do to you?”
“Sam mentioned something about turnin’ a fellow inside out, I recall.”
“Don’t take him lightly….”
“Kaylee, bao bei, I need to set your leg.”
“Y-ya need to…w-what?”
“She’s delirious, I think she’s lost some blood.”
“Some? Doc, she’s sitting in a pool of it.”
“Yes. Some. Compared to Sam, it’s only some.”
“What do you need me to do?”
“Antiseptic and a pain killer please, Shepherd. Mal- stop making that face- I need you to help me place her leg. Kaylee, this is going to hurt.”
“What do I do?”
“Just hold her still….”
“I’m fine, Simon.”
“You’re neck is almost black-”
“I’m fine! Sam’s the one who needs help right now….”
“He wont be here when you wake up. I know you’re listening. You listen to everything. Wont die, no matter how much pain there is. The fire will be over soon, and the boys will pull away the magnifying glass, the ants will rejoice. No more fire, no more pain….”
“I saw what I was doin’, I-I couldn’t stop it, Mal. I tried - god - I tried so hard. He just laughed at me. In my head. I could hear him. Like it was some sick game. I wont be able to look at Kaylee ever again.”
“And River? You’ve ignored her more ‘n a bit than previously.”
“His thoughts felt like my thoughts. I ain’t gonna pretend that she don’t know the things what he was thinkin’ ‘bout, but there ain’t no way ‘n hell I gotta be reprimanded for ‘em….”
“Just a little longer, son….”
- and suddenly he was blinking heavily up at the interior of Inara’s shuttle, the familiar smell of everything Inara filling his head. His head sounded muffled, like there was something very noisy going on, but he hand his ears stuffed with cotton. The ceiling soon became disinteresting, but Sam didn’t think he would be able to move. He tried, tentatively. Wiggling the fingers on his injured hand. It was sore and stiff, but it would heal nicely. His neck was a different matter. Sore, sitf and unwilling to do more than tilt to the side without causing him pain. He blinked a few times (stiffly a low grown), and dropped his head to the side to see Inara. Slightly surprised (and blinking quickly causing him a headache) to see her bent over something that looked like a tray of tea. She looked up at him when his eyes caught her form and a smile spread over her face. She straightened, moving smoothly over to the bed and sitting next to him, placing a hand against his cheek.
“Feel better?”
“Much,” said Sam. He struggled with himself for a moment and then sat up, scooting back and leaning against the pillows Inara had placed there. “How long was I out?”
“Not too long,” said Inara, her smile lingering on her face. “Simon insisted on doing a transfusion. I told him it wasn’t necessary.”
“Ah, the benefits of immortality,” said Sam contently, his eyes drifting closed as Inara brushed her hand over his cheek.
“Dean’s gone,” said Inara softly after what felt like an hour of sitting in silence. Sam’s eyes slid back open and he stared at her seriously.
“Good.”
“And Lilith.”
“Even better. Where’s Ruby? Did Mal toss her out the airlock?”
“You sound hopeful,” Sam smirked at her and raised his eyebrows, still asking where the demon was. Inara shook her head in amusement, rolling her eyes at him.
“We were closer to Hera than Wash thought,” said Inara. “She was gone before we could ask if she wanted a lift down.”
Sam nodded, stopped, and frowned. He lifted his injured right hand, brushing the back of his fingers against Inara’s throat were what looked like bruises were forming.
“He hurt you again,” breathed Sam quietly. Inara let him caress her neck, and didn’t bother to correct him. It was true in a sense. “How are the others? Kaylee, her leg was broken-”
“Everyone’s all patched up.”
“How’s Jayen doing?” Inara rolled her eyes theatrically, sighing heavily. “That bad?”
“It doesn’t help that River keeps making fun of him,” Sam laughed at that, letting his hand drop from her neck and into her lap. Inara’s hand immediately joined his, her fingers ghosting over his palm. Her eyes were downcast, staring at the patterns she made with her fingertips on his palm.
“You lost a lot of blood,” she said softly. “Too much blood. Simon’s a shén tiān cái, I swear. You would have died it you weren’t so…special.”
Sam smirked at her. “Where is everyone?”
“Playing a game,” said Inara with a shrug. “Winding down after what happened.”
“How long exactly was I out?”
“Not long,” said Inara again. “A day at the most. If Simon hadn’t sedated you, you would have been up and about hours ago.”
“Am I allowed to get up?” he asked. Inara’s smile lit up her face and she moved off the bed, holding out her hand for Sam to take. He let her help him to his feet and followed her out of her shuttle. The sounds of laughter echoed around them, moving to lean against the railing, staring down at the crew. Kaylee looked up from where she was sitting on a crate, her leg in a brace. She smiled, waving at the couple.
“Look who’s finally up!” she said happily.
“I wasn’t out that long,” said Sam, a pout involuntarily forming on his face. Kaylee laughed at him and went back to watching the game. The game paused momentarily so the crew could assure Sam that they were all okay and then continued as if nothing had happened. Sam and Inara concentrated on the game, something uncomfortable and unspoken settling over them.
“Inara?” Sam whispered softly, not looking at her from where he was leaning against the railing. She looked up from the game, her eyes twinkling from amusement. Her smirk slowly faded when she noticed the look on his face.
“What is it?” she sounded concerned, her body moving closer to Sam’s out of habit. Sam sighed, not looking at her, but not really watching the game going on below them.
“When we were talking before, before Lilith and Dean, you asked if I ever thought about us having another kid,” Inara stopped breathing for a moment, her eyes focused on Sam as he focused on the conversation.
“Yes?”
“Did you mean it?”
“Mean it?”
“Do you want a baby, Inara?” asked Sam softly, finally looking up at his wife. Her breath caught in her throat and she swallowed. She looked away, back at the game below them.
“Yes,” it was painful to say, it really was. She felt unwanted tears well up in her eyes, trying to focus on the game. Wash accidentally hit Jayne in the face with the ball.
“You want me to leave?” it wasn’t a question. Inara had been perfectly content in her own little world before Sam came back, and now that the threat was over, he could leave right? He didn’t need to stay and keep making her feel the way she did. She thought back to the week (had it only been a week?) he’d been there, despite the skeletons that had literally exploded out of her closet, it was some of the happiest moments Inara had been though in a long time. Sam was…he was hers.
“No,” came her whispered reply. Over the noise below Sam barely caught it, but he did, and his eyes dropped back to the game. Jayne had made a comment after Wash’s accident and Wash had proceeded by throwing his boot at the back of the bigger man’s head. River was winning.
“What about Mal?” he asked quietly, folding his arms on top over each other over the railing and leaning against them. Inara shook her head, knowing that Sam was watching out of the corner of his eye.
“There’s nothing about Mal,” she said just as quietly. “I haven’t thought about Mal since you walked back into my life…”
“You really want me to stay?” asked Sam quietly, trying to disguise the hopefulness in his voice. Inara didn’t look at him, instead just reached out and wrapped her hand lightly around his wrist.
“I don’t want you to leave,” Sam twisted his wrist around, catching Inara’s arm and pulling her closer to him before leaning down and brushing his lips against hers tentatively.
“You know I love you,” said Sam softly, his lips moving against her as he spoke. Inara knew. She rose on her toes slightly, kissing him gently for a long moment before pulling away.
“I know.”
“Besides, I think Mal’s starting to like me,” Inara rolled her eyes as Sam effectively ruined the moment. “I’m serious. I think we’re bonding.”
Mal looked up at the couple standing above them, bantering back an forth about one this or another. In truth, after all this, he didn’t mind Sam. He was an ok guy, and he treated Inara well enough. Better than some of the men she charged. Sam had been with her for god knew how long (now that he knew there was a god, he was taking full advantage) and he knew her. He really knew her. In ways Mal sometimes didn’t want to know. It was hard at that moment, watching Sam and Inara together, happy. The had the moment to themselves, no demon brothers trying to kill them, no ghosts that haunted them too terribly.
Sam looked his way, feeling the intensity of his gaze. Inara didn’t look at him and for that he was relieved. He nodded once at Sam, and just like that, something in the atmosphere eased. Mal shrugged it off to nothing, turning back to the game in time to see Book, Jayne and Wash tag team River. River won.
Somewhere in the back of his head, Mal had a feeling that the nod he’d given Sam had just made him part of the crew, and something about that settled right. It wasn’t like he was welcome with open arms (Jayne was going to personally beat the living hell out of him), but he was accepted.
He was crew.
Epilogue
“I told you, Mal, nothing is going to happen. I’ll be perfectly fine.”
“And I’m not letting you step foot on that planet. It’s dangerous.”
“Niska’s barely alive-”
“Alive enough.”
“Mal,” Inara frowned at his grumblings, raising an eyebrow at him as he stopped short of plowing over River as she ran past him, laughing as she made a ruckus around the semi quiet cargo bay. The promising footsteps of a follower made Mal turned back around to give Inara a grin.
“Ah, nothing like the pitter patter of tiny feet in combat boots,” said Mal nostalgically before bending down to catch the offender in his arms as she tried to run after River. Deana’s shriek of surprise quickly turned into a fit of giggles as Mal tossed the girl over his shoulder and held her there. Inara shook her head at her daughter and Mal who shrugged.
“It’s not my fault she’s got Sam’s puppy dog eyes,” said Mal, bouncing Deana on his shoulder until she was gasping with giggles. “That man can seriously be adorable when he wants to.”
Inara shook her head at the Captain, who shrugged and turned back to Jayne loading the mule, shouting at him to stop being a buffoon.
“What did I do?” Inara shook her head as Mal made fun of Jayne for having a girls name and other sorts of trivial things, making the six year old giggle harder. They bantered back and forth for a few minutes, Inara enjoying the lightness of the situation. She jumped as a hand slid across her lower back, settling on her hip. Inara didn’t have to glance up to know that it was Sam.
“River said something about Deana not playing fair?” Inara shook her head, nodding towards Mal.
“He wont let her have her fun.”
“And what about you, he lettin’ you off the boat?” Inara sighed.
“He say’s it’s too dangerous.”
“For you?” asked Sam, blinking down at her in confusion. “The immortal one?”
Inara nodded tightly, her jaw clenched and her eyes narrowed on Mal’s back. Jayne had taken Deana hostage and was showing her how to tie knots properly, so cargo wouldn’t fall off the back of the mule. Sam continued staring down at her.
“He does know you’re safer on that planet than he is, right? Is here naïve?”
“I don’t know, Sam. Why don’t you just convince him with your puppy dog eyes? He likes that,” grumbled Inara. She felt Sam laugh behind her, his hand falling away from her hip. He shifted behind her and headed over to Mal, clapping the older looking man on the back and starting up a conversation.
Inara was bemused at the sight. It had been a long time coming, those two being friendlier towards each other. Mal hadn’t exactly announced that Sam was crew, it was just kind of assumed. He proved to be an asset. Turns out he knew more about the criminal world than Mal did. Had a hand in nearly everything, money to spare from living so long, a reputation that was a little scary. She had wondered fleetingly why they hadn’t crossed paths sooner.
River was…still River. She had the same speech pattern, had taken up flying lessons with Wash so he could take an actual vacation with his wife. It was still unnerving sometimes to catch her staring at nothing, whispering to herself about things normal people wouldn’t understand, or care for. She had stopped taking advice from Sam, explaining that she wanted to learn by herself (in more complicated words that took nearly three days for Sam to understand the meaning of and even long for him to explain to the rest of the crew). She was…easier to talk to. She still had some bad days, but now, most were good.
Kaylee left with Simon a few months after her leg healed up. She didn’t want to leave Serenity, but she needed too. Simon was reluctant to leave River alone, but she was old enough (and sane enough) to make her own decisions. The two settled on a little moon, Simon continuing as a doctor, Kaylee fixin’ ships that were needin’ it. They made enough money to stay comfortable, doing what they loved. Mal had made ‘em swear that they’d get their asses back on the ship every few months, just to remember what it’s like for the rest of them. Inara thought they treasured those moments back on board, with the rest of the crew, like nothing had changed. That River had gotten curves, that Jayne had taken up knitting, that Book wasn’t…well.
At least they could say he went peacefully. River had been in tears for weeks before anyone knew what was wrong, digressing to a state in which no one had seen in here since her first weeks on board. She threw fits it she was bothered, stayed cooped up in her room, speaking only to Book. Not even Deana could get her out of her room. When Book finally passed, it was with River clinging to his hand, her eyes dry and haunted, like she was waiting for something she knew wouldn’t come.
They all took comfort when they found River coming back to them. It took a while, but it did happen. She had seemed to feel more peaceful at Book’s death. Something he must have said, or she must have heard to put her mind at ease. She was brighter, happier, she went back to playin’ with Deana and talking to Sam. She even let Inara braid her hair a few times.
Zoë and Wash had a little boy a few months after Deana turned five. Zoë had gotten her chance to meet her child, Wash had been scared shitless and for the first time in a very long time, Inara saw hope flash through the captains eyes. She had eavesdropped on River and Sam talking about how Mal was lonely. River in her cryptic speech, and Sam following along the conversation with his more subtle comments. After that, Inara couldn’t help but notice the darkness in Mal’s eyes. But not just in his, Jayne’s too.
Not that either of them would ever admit they were lonely.
Most of it was over. Sam had convinced Mal that the things that went bump in the night really did go bump and Inara felt like breathing was easier now that both of her lives had merged. Ruby didn’t stay in touch. In the six years since Dean had been locked away Ruby had waved them twice. It was better that way, not having to see Sam hunt like he used to. The worry for him that wasn’t necessary had eased on Inara’s heart. Hunting was still part of Sam’s life, hence, convincing Mal that ‘the truth is out there’.
Which was what Sam was arguing with him about at the moment.
“What don’t you understand? Monster. Evil. We kill it.”
“It’s too dangerous for her-”
“And River’s aloud to go? That doesn’t seem fair.”
“River’s a seer.”
“And Inara’s immortal,” they were at a stand off, one glaring at the other, neither backing down. So what if Niska was still (somehow) alive? It’s not like he could touch them. Still, Mal wouldn’t see reason.
River appeared at Inara’s shoulder, her eyes narrowed thoughtfully at Mal.
“He should come.”
That snapped them out of their macho showdown, both head whipping around to look at River. Mal’s face was twisted into something between horror and … more horror, while Sam just looked bemused.
“And why would I do that, darlin’?”
“You don’t understand.”
“…I’m glad we agree?”
“Sam,” clarified River. “You don’t understand Sam.”
“I understand him perfectly-”
“But you don’t understand,” Mal let out a lower growl from the back of his throat, half in exasperation and half in annoyance. What the hell was River getting at?
“Alright, lil’ albatross, I’ll bite.”
“Not too hard,” said River, dancing forward in a way only she could, a smirk gracing her face. “It’s you’re first time.”
Inara wasn’t sure exactly, but she could have sworn Mal blushed. River ignored it and hopped onto the mule, watching with her chin on her palm as Jayne let Deana tie his hands together. Mal was grumbling something under his breath when he stopped short, his eyes rolling as he turned back to Inara.
She knew he gave before he let the words fall out of his mouth, the promptly rolled his eyes at the smug expression he was getting from both Sam and Inara, turning on his heel and heading off to do Captain-y things before they left.
“Inara,” her eyes flickered back onto Sam, who was staring at her with a goofy grin on his face, not bothering to hide the fact that he was happy she could go with them. She gave him a light grin and started toward him, he met her halfway, his hands sliding up her arms to brace her shoulders.
“I love you,” he said softly, his hazel eyes sparkling. She could see that love in them. Lust, devotion, hopeless adoration. He was too much sometimes. Too good for her….
“I know,” she said, the familiar exchange pulling her grin into a smile. He leaned down slightly, kissing the corner of her mouth, warmth spreading through her fingertips.
This was the only thing she needed. That moment, where everything fell into place and would stay that way as long as his lips stayed on hers. But he pulled away eventually (mostly due to the gagging sounds Jayne and Deana were making), ginning down at her with that same stupid grin that just made his face light up. He was hers, and she would never make him leave again.
His goofy smile slid into something more serene, like he could hear her silent vow to never break his heart like that again.
“Everyone look shiny! Let’s get this shindig underway,” shouted Mal, walking back out into the cargo bay. Sam’s eyes didn’t leave hers, the same lazy smile on his face. The moment was broken again by Mal who started up the mule loudly.
Sam winked at her and turned to the vehicle, picking his daughter up from where she was perched on it and setting her down on the floor. Inara shook her head in amusement and followed.
Bring on eternity.
* translation - shén tiān cái - god damn genius
Author(s): darkmagic-luvr
Crossover: Supernatural/Firefly
Disclaimer: I do not own Firefly or Supernatural. Any characters you don't recognize are my own and should not be used without my permission.
Type: het
Word Count: Part V - 8730
Characters/Pairings: Part V - Sam Winchester, Inara Serra, Dean Winchester, Mal Reynolds, River Tam, Simon Tam, Jayne Cobb, Kaylee Frye, Shepherd Book, Zoë Alleyne Washburne, Hoban Washburne, Ruby, Lilith
Warnings: sex, lanuage, violence, death
Spoilers: the Firefly 'verse and through the beginning of season 4 of Supernatural
Artist: quiet-reble
Link to Art: here
Summary: Inara never wanted to die, and with the help of the Winchesters she hadn't for over 500 years. When an old friend and lover walks back into her life, she has to open her closet and face her skeletons, whether either of them want to.
Author’s Notes: Chinese translations at the bottom. Last part! I suck at finishing things, so I'm nervous about the ending.
(PART V)
Mal wouldn’t look at Inara when he and the crew were back on the ship. He turned to Sam instead and asked if he was finished. Sam told him what he did and how it would protect them. He seemed satisfied (somewhat creepifide, but still satisfied) and went to his bunk. Kaylee stopped at Sam’s shoulder, watching her captain walk off.
“He’s in love with Inara,” she said softly, catching Sam off guard. He turned his head down to look at her.
“Does Inara know?”
“No,” said Kaylee, shifting uncomfortably under Sam’s eyes. “’Cause she’s in love with him too.”
“Really,” said Sam tightly. He felt a burning in his chest, and realized it had been a very long time since he had been jealous. He felt Kaylee’s distress and tried to push his feelings out of the way. He had been an idiot to think she wouldn’t fall for someone else, but not having the decency to tell him? He snorted at the thought.
“Probably why he doesn’t like you,” said Kaylee with a shrug, trying to sound helpful. Sam didn’t answer., instead he looked away and headed off to Inara’s shuttle, leaving Kaylee staring after him.
He wasn’t mad, he assured himself, he wasn’t mad at her at least. Mad at himself? Maybe, if he was it was only because he couldn’t see it in the beginning. All the signs were there, he’d just been so wrapped up in finding Dean that it hadn’t occurred to him that she might have been moving on. He had been selfish, and the epiphany nearly had him freezing in his tracks.
Yelling at Inara was out, so was accusing her of anything. Being frustrated at her for not telling him how she felt about Mal? He could do that.
She was cleaning the Colt when he walked in, and when she looked up he reprimanded himself for not at least calming down after Kaylee’s admission. Inara’s eyes narrowed playfully, trying to figure out what was bugging him. Sam just crossed his arms over his chest, feeling his nostrils flare in annoyance.
“What?”
“Mal,” said Sam, watching Inara’s face for any sign of change. She just looked at him curiously. “You’re in love with him.”
It wasn’t a question. Inara felt her mouth fall open, staring at Sam like he was crazy.
“Wh-?”
“Kaylee told me,” said Sam. Inara raised an eyebrow.
“And you believed her?”
“It makes sense,” said Sam with a shrug. “He loves you too.”
Inara’s mouth snapped shut, her face going completely blank, void of any emotions. On the inside she was fuming. She didn’t need this, not right now of all times.
“Are you done being ridiculous?” she asked coolly, finishing with the Colt and standing up from her couch.
“I’m fine with it,” said Sam softly, surprising himself by his words. “I just didn’t know if you were.”
“I’m not in love with him, Sam,” snapped Inara, rolling her eyes as she walked around him to her dresser. Sam sighed and sat on her bed, leaning over to grab his journal from the bag at his feet. Inara glanced back at him.
“What are you doing?”
“Going over some Latin,” he said stiffly. It wasn’t like he needed it, but just in case things got out of hand. Inara nodded once and turned back to her dresser and froze, staring at her partially opened dresser drawer. She stared at it for a moment before moving around him. Her fingers trailed along the gap between the wood before she slid open the drawer. Isaiah’s face shone on the gloss and it was slightly crinkled, like someone had help onto it too hard.
Inara frowned down at it, her mouth working questions she could bring herself to voice. She shut her mouth and reached into the drawer, pulling out her photo and staring at it. She wanted to ask what had happened to it, if River had been messing around with it. She traced her sons face with her fingertips all her questions dieing on her tongue. Except for one.
“Sam,” started Inara, not looking back at him from the photo. He waited for her to continue, but when she didn’t he looked up.
“Yeah?”
“Did you ever…did you ever think about trying again?”
“Trying what again?” Sam mumbled, looking back at his journal, running through the Latin again.
“Having another baby,” Sam felt his heart stop for a moment, then sputter back to life. He had dropped the journal without realizing it, and it was lying on the floor face up. Sam looked back up at Inara, his eyes burning holes into the back of her head.
“Yes,” he managed to whisper, barely audible, and he didn’t think he heard himself when he said it. “I do.”
Inara turned her head to the side, looking at him out of the corner of her eye. She didn’t say anything, so Sam turned his head back down to his journal reluctantly. And for a few moments they were both quite. Sam couldn’t concentrate and he slammed his book shut, flinging it across her shuttle. He stood up and ran a hand over his face, not able to look at her.
“You can’t do this to me, Inara,” said Sam softly.
“I can’t-”
“You pushed me away,” he snapped, interrupting her. Her mouth hung open, mid sentence, staring at him. “You left me, when you promised you would never leave me again, you left.”
“I know.”
“I loved him too,” said Sam, his voice catching. “It wasn’t just you. I had to watch him die-”
“Sam, stop-”
“-and I’m tired. I’m tired of you looking at me like it’s my fault.”
Inara closed her eyes, feeling Sam leave the shuttle. She didn’t open them again until she was sure he was gone, replacing her photo back in it’s drawer and closing it shut.
“So am I.”
.
Everyone had very specific instructions to not touch the salt. Jayne was eyeing it warily and glancing at Sam, who was going through the spell with Ruby quietly.
“Hey, how’re we gonna get rid of them?” he asked loudly. Sam looked up at him and frowned.
“A spell. Why?”
“Just… curious is all,” mumbled Jayne, turning his head back down to the salt. He left soon after, leaving Ruby and Sam alone in the cargo bay. Ruby sniffed the air in a displeased way, her eyes flashing as she eyed Sam.
“This isn’t going to go well, you know that right?” Sam just nodded, making her roll her eyes. “Don’t go getting all concerned-”
“Ruby, just go over the spell with me.”
“I already told you-”
“No you didn’t. How much?”
“How much…?”
“Blood,” snapped Sam. “How much of my blood has to go into this spell?”
Ruby didn’t wince, but she didn’t look him in the eye either. “A lot.”
“And what’s the chance of me surviving this?”
Ruby shrugged. “The same as anyone else.”
“And how many of us are going to die doing this?”
“You really want my opinion?” asked Ruby, her eyes narrowing. “You wont like it.”
“I never do,” said Sam quietly, turning away from Ruby. “I have to talk to Mal.”
“Good luck.”
Sam ignored her sarcasm and left her, passing by Simon in the infirmary, getting his supplies out and ready for the inevitable. He didn’t look as Sam as he passed, though River (who was sitting on the stairs near the infirmary) did.
“They’ll just keep coming.”
“Not this time,” said Sam quietly to himself, not bothering to stop.
“They want you to be their king.”
“Not all of them,” Sam called over his shoulder, thinking of Lilith. That thought made him hope that Ruby’s deal with her would be enough. He didn’t run into anyone else until he reached Mal’s bunk, pounding on the door a few times.
Mal’s door hissed open and Sam her the captain sigh when he realized who it was before climbing the ladder, preferring to talk face to face instead of up at him.
“What’s the problem?” asked Mal.
“I need you to promise me not to interfere,” said Sam, his voice was soft but his eyes were stuck on Mal’s, telling him silently that he was very much serious about his statement. Mal’s eyes narrowed.
“You givin’ me orders?”
“Yeah,” said Sam, narrowing his eyes slightly. Mal chuckled scathingly.
“Well I don’t take orders on my boat.”
“Not even if it meant keeping your crew alive?”
“I’ll make the decisions on how to keep my crew safe. It ain’t your job.”
“I know how to deal with demons. You don’t.”
Mal’s eyes narrowed, matching Sam’s expression. Behind them Jayne poked his head out of his bunk, frowning at the two of them.
“Cap’n?”
“Fine,” said Sam coolly, backing off, his eyes never leaving Mal’s. “You know what’s best.”
He turned and walked off, leaving Mal glaring at spot he was standing in, while Jayne looked a bit bemused by Sam’s retreat.
“What was that about?”
“Nothing,” said Mal quietly, turning back to his bunk. Jayne stared at him, not completely convinced. He wasn’t able to ask anything else however, as Mal had already turned in.
The rest of the day past uneventfully. Sam continued to prep the ship (with the help of Shepherd Book and Kaylee, who was helping to try and make it up to him for spilling the beans on Inara and Mal). Only when Zoë mentioned the time did he head back to Inara’s shuttle. He didn’t speak as he made his way up the stairs, leaving Kaylee, Zoë and Book staring after him.
“He doesn’t seem very optimistic, does he?” mused Book.
“When you’re around as long as we’ve been, you learn that optimism just isn’t worth it,” the trio turned to see Ruby perched on top of a few crates, cleaning a silver knife with some sort of engravings on it. She was turned away from the Devil’s Trap, and the lines of salt, but it was hard to notice. Her eyes flickered to their faces and she smirked.
“Not like he hasn’t been in worse situations,” Zoë’s eye’s narrowed at her for a split second, so fast it was hard to catch before she turned to leave.
“Get some sleep Shepherd, Kaylee,” her eyes flickered back to Ruby before she turned away completely and walked out of the cargo bay. Book didn’t seem to mind Ruby’s words, but he wasn’t going to stay and chat, instead he put his arm on Kaylee’s shoulder and walked her to her bunk. Ruby stared after them, her smirk flickering off her face and her eyes narrowing.
They were fucked.
Kaylee couldn’t sleep. She could barely closer her eyes. She was scared, anxious and awake. She couldn’t lie in bed waiting for something to happen, even though both Mal and Inara had expressed how much they didn’t want her involved in anything. She didn’t want to be, but the thought of someone getting hurt trying to protect her…
Sighing at her thoughts, Kaylee rolled out of bed, grabbing her jumpsuit and heading for the engine room, thinking she could work on Serenity for awhile to calm her nerves. It was already late, Sam had told everyone that being alone wasn’t a good idea, that they should stay in their bunks and just let everything play out, but she couldn’t. Serenity needed her.
She quickly became absorbed by her work, humming to herself as she fiddled with a tricky spot on the engine with her wrench. She hadn’t realized how late it was, and she had no intention of stopping until she was finished. It wouldn’t be too much longer, she was almost-
“Hey, Kaylee,” she jumped, her wrench clattering to the ground as she straightened up and spun around. She sighed, closing her eyes in relief.
“Jayne. It’s just you. Ya scared me.”
“Sorry ‘bout that,” said Jayne slowly. He looked her over carefully, making Kaylee slightly uncomfortable. She shifted in her boots and bent to pick up her wrench, talking as she did.
“What are ya doin’ up here?”
Jayne didn’t answer her, he didn’t even let her stand up properly before he was on her, spinning her around and crushing her against his chest. Kaylee’s eyes widened in horror, feeling one of Jayne’s arms slide around her throat, cutting off her air supply. He tightened his arm around her neck, his mouth pressed against her ear. She could feel him grinning.
“Sam did a good job,” said Jayne gruffly, his free hand skimming the front of Kaylee’s body. “But he forgot about the crews quarters.”
“J-Jayne,” sputtered Kaylee, clawing at the arm around her neck. “Wh-what are you doin’?”
“’S not Jayne anymore,” he murmured, laughing quietly in her ear. “But don’t worry, I’ll let him go. Maybe I’ll even let him live.”
“Dean,” said Kaylee, fighting the urge to be sick. Sam hadn’t said nothin’ about Dean takin’ over someone on the ship. It wasn’t supposed to happen like this.
“How- how long have you been here?” asked Kaylee softly, tears burning hot at the corners of her eyes. Dean chuckled against her neck.
“Longer than you want to know.”
“Are you gonna kill me?” asked Kaylee softly, swallowing the bile rising up in her throat.
“Yes,” she squeezed her eyes tightly, the tears building up in them sliding down her face. “It wont hurt. I promise.”
“Sam…Sam says I shouldn’t believe what you say. That you’re lyin’.”
“Sam would know,” said Dean softly and Kaylee opened her eyes. “You didn’t see what he did to me. He ripped me from my body.”
“It ain’t your body to have,” another tear fell from her eye and onto her cheek, rolling down to her chin to collect with the others, dripping onto the front of her shirt. Dean lifted his hand and brushed the tears off her jaw.
“Who says we own our bodies? What if our only purpose is to house demons and angels? What if that’s it?”
“Please-”
“I’m not going to kill you here, lil’ Kaylee,” said Dean softly, pressing his lips to her cheek. “I can wait.”
“I want to rip Ruby up into little pieces,” Kaylee’s eyes flickered to her right, just barely making out the form of the little blonde girl she thought she saw earlier. Her mouth opened in horror, there was blood down the front of her dress, splattered across her face, soaked in her hands.
“Who’d you kill?” asked Dean, looking down at the little girl. She beamed up at him.
“One of the vampires.”
“Which one?”
“The mean one.”
“What about Lenore?”
“She watched!” Kaylee closed her eyes, trying not to imagine the vampires she met on Osiris bleeding and corpselike. Dean shifted against her back, and his mouth was on her ear again.
“You have to behead a vampire to kill it,” said Dean softly. “Lilith tore his head off-”
“Oh god,” Kaylee couldn’t help feeling sick, her knees buckling underneath her. Dean’s arm around her neck was the only thing keeping her up. Lilith frowned at her, then snapped back into a bright sunny little girl, looking up at Dean.
“Can I kill her?”
“Stop being a brat,” growled Dean, moving his arm away from Kaylee and letting her crumple to the floor. He looked over at Lilith and raised an eyebrow. “It’s not cute.”
“You’re mean too,” Dean rolled his eyes and turned back to Kaylee, squatting down next to her and folding his hands together, resting his elbows on his knees.
“Kaylee, you going to come with us, and you’re not going to scream. Alright?” Kaylee nodded. “Say it.”
“I’m not going to scream,” repeated Kaylee weakly. Dean nodded.
“But the first thing you’re going to do,” he began, reaching out and gripping her upper arm, pulling her up with him as he stood up. “Is get the psychic.”
“No, no don’t hurt River-”
“If you do what I say, she wont be,” hissed Dean, his hand tightening around her arm. She knew it was going to bruise, if not break, under his grip so she nodded and he released her. Kaylee blinked the tears out of her eyes until she could see clearly and looked over her shoulder at Lilith. The little girl with her big brown eyes and curly honey-blonde hair was just a cute as a button.
‘The cute little girl will snap your neck with a twist of her wrist if she gets the chance.’ Sam had said, he had been completely serious, trying to scare them into being completely on guard. Kaylee eyed the girl wearily and then looked back at Dean, wondering if one devil was safer than the other.
She thought fleetingly that the only real question was which one would kill her quickly and which one would rip her skin from her bones and dangle it in front of her face. She swallowed back the thought and stared forward out of the engine room on shaky legs, bracing herself as she brushed her shoulder with Dean’s. The demons followed her, Lilith skipping along next to her. Kaylee tried not to think about what they would do to her, so she concentrated on walking, one step in front of the other and before she new it she was standing in the common area, standing stock still, staring at River’s room. Dean glanced at her, then back at River’s door and folded his arms over his chest. Lilith looked up at them, a bratty little frown forming on her face.
“Why aren’t we moving?”
“She’ll come to us,” said Dean. The rice paper door slid open and a pointed foot stepped out gracefully, fallowed by the rest of River’s body, staring straight ahead, like she was listening for directions. Kaylee opened her mouth to call out to River, that it wasn’t safe, to get the captain, but she didn’t have a chance. River’s head snapped onto them, her eyes on Dean. She blinked once at him and a smile slid across her face.
“You brought a friend.”
“Hello, River.”
“Don‘t cry, Kaylee,” said River, giving her friend a comforting smile. “Everything’s going to be okay.”
Dean chuckled at her and moved around Kaylee, careful to keep his eyes on River incase she was planning something. It didn’t seem like it, but he had a feeling she wouldn’t be as predictable as Sam would.
River’s bare feet padded along the cool floor, staring through Dean instead of at him. Her eyes ghosted over Kaylee’s face and then finally Lilith’s, stopping in front of Dean, close enough that her dress brushed against him. Dean’s eyes narrowed at her and he jerked his head toward the cargo bay.
“After you.”
River didn’t answer, just obeyed, practically dancing through the door with Dean very close behind her. The moment he and Lilith stepped into the cargo bay however, the door behind them slammed shut. And something heavy fell from the ceiling, hitting the ground in a perfect circle around Lilith. Her eyes flashed white with fury and she gave Dean a look that could melt the skin off his bones.
Dean reacted on instinct, grabbing Kaylee by her hair to keep her from running off. River had been a lost cause, and she smirked at him just out of reached. The Shepherd he and Bela had met stepped out of the darkness behind River, a grim look plastered across his face, his hands clasped behind his back. Lilith’s eyes shot up to where the salt had dropped from, and Dean’s eyes flickered up as well (out of curiosity), slightly surprised to see Inara dusting off her hands.
The whole fucking crew was in the cargo bay, all of them looking at Lilith menacingly, and at Dean like her was….well, like he was-
“Jayne!?”
“Sorry, Captain,” said Dean with a shrug, sounding like Jayne they knew and tightening his grip on Kaylee. “But I ain’t takin’ orders from you.”
“It’s not Jayne,” shouted Kaylee. She struggled once against Dean’s arm and fell still again. “It’s Sam’s brother.”
“He is not my brother,” hissed Dean, jerking Kaylee’s head back by her hair. There was an audible click behind them, making Dean freeze in his movements. He loosened his grip on Kaylee, going as far as to let his hand fall to his side. He turned, not surprised to see Inara standing behind him with the Colt pointed at his head. Kaylee took the opportunity to run, skidding behind Mal when she got close enough.
“Are you alright, lil’ Kaylee?” he asked warily, keeping his eyes narrowed on Jay- on Dean’s form, waiting to see if he would make a move.
“Shiny, Cap’n.”
Mal’s eyes were hard as he stared at Jayne, of all the people to take over, it just had to be Jayne. He glanced over at Sam, who hadn’t made the move to make himself known. Ruby was standing beside him. Something flashed in her hand and was quickly transferred to Sam inconspicuously, however the movement caught Lilith’s eye, and the little girl’s sweet face twisted into disgusted when she recognized Sam and Ruby. For a moment Mal actually thought the girl might spit at them. Sam blinked slowly at the pair of demons and took a few steps forward until he was standing directly across from Dean.
“Surprise,” said River eagerly, smiling despite the situation. Dean ignored her and continued staring at Sam, his anger boiling over.
“You son of a bitch-!” Dean snarled, starting forward quickly only to find himself thrown back to the floor. A nerve in Jayne’s face twitched and he looked up, his eyes snapping black as he registered the Devil’s Trap. His lips pulled back over his teeth in a sneer and his head snapped back to look at Sam.
“I forgot about that one,” he spat and they watched him standing up carefully, his eyes going back to normal with a blink, never moving them away from Sam.
“You really are something,” said Dean, his voice sharp and quiet. Sam didn’t flinch, letting Dean continue. “You knew someone on this piece of shit was being possessed. I’m surprised you didn’t start throwing holy water at everyone.”
“I’m surprised you decided to possess Jayne. What’s it like in there? Does he remind you of who you used to be?” Sam scoffed, trying to fake disgust. He needed Dean angry, vulnerable, open for error. “You’re not smart enough to pick someone like Mal or the preacher,” he said softly, this silver knife Ruby had handed him warming in his palm. “And you wouldn’t dare possess Inara.”
“Well, I didn’t want to have to get my freak on with you,” snarled Dean. Sam smirked at him and glanced out of the corner of his eye at Ruby, who was watching carefully. Lilith hadn’t moved from her spot behind Dean, but her narrowed eyes never left Sam.
“Ruby,” called Sam, not looking away from the blonde girl. Ruby glanced at him quickly, letting him know he had her attention. “Do you mind?”
Ruby closed her eyes in annoyance and stepped forward. For the first time Lilith’s eyes snapped onto her, and a sickeningly sweet smile spread over the little girls face.
“I accept.”
Dean literally growled at her, but Lilith’s smile merely widened. “Ours was a partnership of little promise. You wanted my help, I gave it to you. Ruby is something I’m going to enjoy more than you will ever know. I’ll see you in the pit, Dean.”
Shepherd Book had been standing next to the ring of salt carefully, not wanting to get to close, but was ready to free Lilith if she agreed to leave. In two moments he had swept a line of salt away and gone back to his former position, while Lilith ignored his presence completely. With a snap she had vanished from her place in the circle and was standing in front of Ruby, her eyes white and her hair blowing behind her in a breeze that wasn’t there.
Sam didn’t need to give the signal. Zoë was already there, the knife in her hand. In the split second it took Zoë to raise the blade Lilith’s head snapped around, staring at the warrior woman as she plunged the knife into the girl’s face, flinching away from the blood that sprayed out. It missed over her face and Ruby’s, thought neither of them seemed to mind, both their eyes on Lilith as her body crackled with dead light. Zoë wrenched the knife out, (the only support Lilith’s body had) and her knees hit the ground with a crack.
Dean was seething. His eyes snapping from Ruby and Zoë to Sam. The smell of blood filled the air, making it stale and hard to breathe. No one looked at the body of the little girl. No one except Dean, who might have been delighted that the bitch was gone, if he hadn’t been so. Very. Angry.
“You knew.”
It was a vague statement, but Sam understood. Yeah, he knew. He knew that Dean had possessed Jayne after being exorcized from his previous body. He knew Dean was there when Ruby pretended to give herself up as lent for Lilith. He knew Kaylee would be an easy target, that River would lead him into a trap, that all his planning and rage was frivolous. He knew Dean wouldn’t know what hit him.
Sam’s smirk was cold and detached in a way that didn’t reach his eyes. He heard Zoë breathing heavily, her boots scrapping against the metal floor as she backed away from the little girls corpse. She’d been dead for a long time…Dean’s eyes narrowed.
“They won’t kill their friend.”
“He ain’t exactly loveable,” Sam tried to fight the tug at his lips from Mal’s words. They were true, but it was still Jayne. He was crew, and Mal was bluffing.
The smirk on Dean’s face didn’t let up, he didn’t even let the words faze him. He just kept staring Sam down. The cold gaze brought back memories Sam didn’t want to remember, like the last time he ever Sam Dean’s eyes so black and cold.
“Sam,” started Ruby dangerously, startling him slightly out of his flashback. He glanced over at her, their eyes having a silent conversation.
Do it now, short bus.
Are you sure?
I wouldn’t be telling you to do it if I wasn’t sure. Living forever has not been well for your health, has it?
The knife in his hand suddenly feeling heavy. It would have to happen now, before Ruby blew a fuse, before Dean literally snapped, before he was ready to say goodbye to his brother… Sam’s eyes hardened as his own thoughts from an eternity ago echoed back in his head.
This wasn’t his brother. Not anymore.
Something must have clicked for Dean, because a suddenly bewildered look crossed Jayne’s features, turning quickly into rage. The wind was back, hissing dangerously against the walls of the ship. Ruby pulled a black candle out of the bag Sam hadn’t realized she was holding, dropping to her knees on the floor and lighting the candle. Sam felt the air being sucked out of his lungs and looked back at Dean, his eyes furious and black. His mouth was open in what could have been a scream, but whatever was coming out of Dean’s mouth was obscured by the wind and the screaming of everyone else on the boat.
“SAM, GOD DAMMIT! DO IT NOW!” Sam managed to hear Ruby’s voice over the rest, seeing how close she was and he quickly adjusted his grip on the knife she’d given him, sliding the blade deeply into the palm of his right hand.
Sam’s blood pooled in his palm, the sickening sent of metal filling the closed off cargo bay, the wind causing it to ripple in his hand. Mal was just blinking awake after being thrown into the hull of the ship after a particularly nasty gust of wind, his eyes out of focused due to the line of blood sliding down the side of his face. Kaylee was clutched her shin, her screams of pain going unheard, swallowed by everything else. Sam moved (difficulty) next to Ruby, who had drawn a pattern on the floor with the melted wax. Sam moved his blood filled hand over the pattern and tilted his hand, letting the blood fall.
The wind, the screaming, time itself. It stopped. River was the only one still standing, her dress still moving, her eyes closed. Zoë and Wash were pressed into one of the crates, cling to each other. Book and Inara had been thrown unceremoniously into the walls. Ruby was clinging to the ground like she was going to disappear if she let go. The body of the little girl had disappeared, but not without leaving smears of blood around the cargo bay.
Dean was staring at Sam’s hand, at the blood dripping onto the ground. Sam hadn’t noticed that Ruby’s mouth was moving, chanting the spell. At closer inspection the blood on the ground was moving on it own accord, spreading out to the perimeter of wax. The pattern filled with blood and started boiling. Sam felt lightheaded, but Ruby continued her spell, her eyes slipping closed and her body shaking. It took a very long moment for Sam to realize that it was almost over, time was slowing down, like a dream. He turned his head to look at Dean, but instead of finding Jayne’s body, his eyes stopped on Inara.
She was pressed into the wall, her head tilted back, her mouth hanging open in a silent scream, her eyes fluttered open and closed. It must have been from the lack of blood because he swore he saw his life flash before his eyes. Every moment he had with Dean, his father, Jess, Inara, Bobby. All of it, even his infancy, his son, his mother….
Something screamed, and he thought it might have been Dean, but blinking through the grogginess he realized that he was screaming too, that what he was seeing Dean was seeing. It wasn’t blood loss, it was the spell, ripping Dean from the existence he’d had with his baby brother, until all that was left was a memory.
It stopped. Everything stopped. The blood flowing from Sam’s hand, the silence. Dean. He stopped. Sam collapsed forward, catching himself on his elbow, lying the back of his right hand gingerly on the ground. He lifted his head slightly, listening as Kaylee’s cried of her broken leg broke the silence, Inara gasping for air now that Dean was purged from Jayne, who was lying unconscious under the Devil’s Trap. Sam blinked heavily, catching Inara’s eyes as she struggled to breath normally. She stared back, emotions flashing through her eyes that he couldn’t interpret.
“Sam? Can you hear me?” Simon’s face swirled in his eyes, on one knee in front of him. Sam mumbled something along the lines of ‘when did you get here?’ before Simon turned to Ruby.
“How much blood did you use?”
“A lot.”
“That’s not helpful,” said Simon with an aggravated sigh. After a moment digging quickly through his red bag Simon took Sam’s hand gently and wrapped it with gaze, muttered to himself about getting him a fucking transfusion before he stitched him back together.
Sam’s vision swam for what felt like hours, here voices around him, screams of pain, swearing -
“It’s not like I knew what would happen.”
“No, but you had a pretty good inkling, didn’t you?”
“Are you threatening me, Reynolds? Do you know what I could do to you?”
“Sam mentioned something about turnin’ a fellow inside out, I recall.”
“Don’t take him lightly….”
“Kaylee, bao bei, I need to set your leg.”
“Y-ya need to…w-what?”
“She’s delirious, I think she’s lost some blood.”
“Some? Doc, she’s sitting in a pool of it.”
“Yes. Some. Compared to Sam, it’s only some.”
“What do you need me to do?”
“Antiseptic and a pain killer please, Shepherd. Mal- stop making that face- I need you to help me place her leg. Kaylee, this is going to hurt.”
“What do I do?”
“Just hold her still….”
“I’m fine, Simon.”
“You’re neck is almost black-”
“I’m fine! Sam’s the one who needs help right now….”
“He wont be here when you wake up. I know you’re listening. You listen to everything. Wont die, no matter how much pain there is. The fire will be over soon, and the boys will pull away the magnifying glass, the ants will rejoice. No more fire, no more pain….”
“I saw what I was doin’, I-I couldn’t stop it, Mal. I tried - god - I tried so hard. He just laughed at me. In my head. I could hear him. Like it was some sick game. I wont be able to look at Kaylee ever again.”
“And River? You’ve ignored her more ‘n a bit than previously.”
“His thoughts felt like my thoughts. I ain’t gonna pretend that she don’t know the things what he was thinkin’ ‘bout, but there ain’t no way ‘n hell I gotta be reprimanded for ‘em….”
“Just a little longer, son….”
- and suddenly he was blinking heavily up at the interior of Inara’s shuttle, the familiar smell of everything Inara filling his head. His head sounded muffled, like there was something very noisy going on, but he hand his ears stuffed with cotton. The ceiling soon became disinteresting, but Sam didn’t think he would be able to move. He tried, tentatively. Wiggling the fingers on his injured hand. It was sore and stiff, but it would heal nicely. His neck was a different matter. Sore, sitf and unwilling to do more than tilt to the side without causing him pain. He blinked a few times (stiffly a low grown), and dropped his head to the side to see Inara. Slightly surprised (and blinking quickly causing him a headache) to see her bent over something that looked like a tray of tea. She looked up at him when his eyes caught her form and a smile spread over her face. She straightened, moving smoothly over to the bed and sitting next to him, placing a hand against his cheek.
“Feel better?”
“Much,” said Sam. He struggled with himself for a moment and then sat up, scooting back and leaning against the pillows Inara had placed there. “How long was I out?”
“Not too long,” said Inara, her smile lingering on her face. “Simon insisted on doing a transfusion. I told him it wasn’t necessary.”
“Ah, the benefits of immortality,” said Sam contently, his eyes drifting closed as Inara brushed her hand over his cheek.
“Dean’s gone,” said Inara softly after what felt like an hour of sitting in silence. Sam’s eyes slid back open and he stared at her seriously.
“Good.”
“And Lilith.”
“Even better. Where’s Ruby? Did Mal toss her out the airlock?”
“You sound hopeful,” Sam smirked at her and raised his eyebrows, still asking where the demon was. Inara shook her head in amusement, rolling her eyes at him.
“We were closer to Hera than Wash thought,” said Inara. “She was gone before we could ask if she wanted a lift down.”
Sam nodded, stopped, and frowned. He lifted his injured right hand, brushing the back of his fingers against Inara’s throat were what looked like bruises were forming.
“He hurt you again,” breathed Sam quietly. Inara let him caress her neck, and didn’t bother to correct him. It was true in a sense. “How are the others? Kaylee, her leg was broken-”
“Everyone’s all patched up.”
“How’s Jayen doing?” Inara rolled her eyes theatrically, sighing heavily. “That bad?”
“It doesn’t help that River keeps making fun of him,” Sam laughed at that, letting his hand drop from her neck and into her lap. Inara’s hand immediately joined his, her fingers ghosting over his palm. Her eyes were downcast, staring at the patterns she made with her fingertips on his palm.
“You lost a lot of blood,” she said softly. “Too much blood. Simon’s a shén tiān cái, I swear. You would have died it you weren’t so…special.”
Sam smirked at her. “Where is everyone?”
“Playing a game,” said Inara with a shrug. “Winding down after what happened.”
“How long exactly was I out?”
“Not long,” said Inara again. “A day at the most. If Simon hadn’t sedated you, you would have been up and about hours ago.”
“Am I allowed to get up?” he asked. Inara’s smile lit up her face and she moved off the bed, holding out her hand for Sam to take. He let her help him to his feet and followed her out of her shuttle. The sounds of laughter echoed around them, moving to lean against the railing, staring down at the crew. Kaylee looked up from where she was sitting on a crate, her leg in a brace. She smiled, waving at the couple.
“Look who’s finally up!” she said happily.
“I wasn’t out that long,” said Sam, a pout involuntarily forming on his face. Kaylee laughed at him and went back to watching the game. The game paused momentarily so the crew could assure Sam that they were all okay and then continued as if nothing had happened. Sam and Inara concentrated on the game, something uncomfortable and unspoken settling over them.
“Inara?” Sam whispered softly, not looking at her from where he was leaning against the railing. She looked up from the game, her eyes twinkling from amusement. Her smirk slowly faded when she noticed the look on his face.
“What is it?” she sounded concerned, her body moving closer to Sam’s out of habit. Sam sighed, not looking at her, but not really watching the game going on below them.
“When we were talking before, before Lilith and Dean, you asked if I ever thought about us having another kid,” Inara stopped breathing for a moment, her eyes focused on Sam as he focused on the conversation.
“Yes?”
“Did you mean it?”
“Mean it?”
“Do you want a baby, Inara?” asked Sam softly, finally looking up at his wife. Her breath caught in her throat and she swallowed. She looked away, back at the game below them.
“Yes,” it was painful to say, it really was. She felt unwanted tears well up in her eyes, trying to focus on the game. Wash accidentally hit Jayne in the face with the ball.
“You want me to leave?” it wasn’t a question. Inara had been perfectly content in her own little world before Sam came back, and now that the threat was over, he could leave right? He didn’t need to stay and keep making her feel the way she did. She thought back to the week (had it only been a week?) he’d been there, despite the skeletons that had literally exploded out of her closet, it was some of the happiest moments Inara had been though in a long time. Sam was…he was hers.
“No,” came her whispered reply. Over the noise below Sam barely caught it, but he did, and his eyes dropped back to the game. Jayne had made a comment after Wash’s accident and Wash had proceeded by throwing his boot at the back of the bigger man’s head. River was winning.
“What about Mal?” he asked quietly, folding his arms on top over each other over the railing and leaning against them. Inara shook her head, knowing that Sam was watching out of the corner of his eye.
“There’s nothing about Mal,” she said just as quietly. “I haven’t thought about Mal since you walked back into my life…”
“You really want me to stay?” asked Sam quietly, trying to disguise the hopefulness in his voice. Inara didn’t look at him, instead just reached out and wrapped her hand lightly around his wrist.
“I don’t want you to leave,” Sam twisted his wrist around, catching Inara’s arm and pulling her closer to him before leaning down and brushing his lips against hers tentatively.
“You know I love you,” said Sam softly, his lips moving against her as he spoke. Inara knew. She rose on her toes slightly, kissing him gently for a long moment before pulling away.
“I know.”
“Besides, I think Mal’s starting to like me,” Inara rolled her eyes as Sam effectively ruined the moment. “I’m serious. I think we’re bonding.”
Mal looked up at the couple standing above them, bantering back an forth about one this or another. In truth, after all this, he didn’t mind Sam. He was an ok guy, and he treated Inara well enough. Better than some of the men she charged. Sam had been with her for god knew how long (now that he knew there was a god, he was taking full advantage) and he knew her. He really knew her. In ways Mal sometimes didn’t want to know. It was hard at that moment, watching Sam and Inara together, happy. The had the moment to themselves, no demon brothers trying to kill them, no ghosts that haunted them too terribly.
Sam looked his way, feeling the intensity of his gaze. Inara didn’t look at him and for that he was relieved. He nodded once at Sam, and just like that, something in the atmosphere eased. Mal shrugged it off to nothing, turning back to the game in time to see Book, Jayne and Wash tag team River. River won.
Somewhere in the back of his head, Mal had a feeling that the nod he’d given Sam had just made him part of the crew, and something about that settled right. It wasn’t like he was welcome with open arms (Jayne was going to personally beat the living hell out of him), but he was accepted.
He was crew.
Epilogue
“I told you, Mal, nothing is going to happen. I’ll be perfectly fine.”
“And I’m not letting you step foot on that planet. It’s dangerous.”
“Niska’s barely alive-”
“Alive enough.”
“Mal,” Inara frowned at his grumblings, raising an eyebrow at him as he stopped short of plowing over River as she ran past him, laughing as she made a ruckus around the semi quiet cargo bay. The promising footsteps of a follower made Mal turned back around to give Inara a grin.
“Ah, nothing like the pitter patter of tiny feet in combat boots,” said Mal nostalgically before bending down to catch the offender in his arms as she tried to run after River. Deana’s shriek of surprise quickly turned into a fit of giggles as Mal tossed the girl over his shoulder and held her there. Inara shook her head at her daughter and Mal who shrugged.
“It’s not my fault she’s got Sam’s puppy dog eyes,” said Mal, bouncing Deana on his shoulder until she was gasping with giggles. “That man can seriously be adorable when he wants to.”
Inara shook her head at the Captain, who shrugged and turned back to Jayne loading the mule, shouting at him to stop being a buffoon.
“What did I do?” Inara shook her head as Mal made fun of Jayne for having a girls name and other sorts of trivial things, making the six year old giggle harder. They bantered back and forth for a few minutes, Inara enjoying the lightness of the situation. She jumped as a hand slid across her lower back, settling on her hip. Inara didn’t have to glance up to know that it was Sam.
“River said something about Deana not playing fair?” Inara shook her head, nodding towards Mal.
“He wont let her have her fun.”
“And what about you, he lettin’ you off the boat?” Inara sighed.
“He say’s it’s too dangerous.”
“For you?” asked Sam, blinking down at her in confusion. “The immortal one?”
Inara nodded tightly, her jaw clenched and her eyes narrowed on Mal’s back. Jayne had taken Deana hostage and was showing her how to tie knots properly, so cargo wouldn’t fall off the back of the mule. Sam continued staring down at her.
“He does know you’re safer on that planet than he is, right? Is here naïve?”
“I don’t know, Sam. Why don’t you just convince him with your puppy dog eyes? He likes that,” grumbled Inara. She felt Sam laugh behind her, his hand falling away from her hip. He shifted behind her and headed over to Mal, clapping the older looking man on the back and starting up a conversation.
Inara was bemused at the sight. It had been a long time coming, those two being friendlier towards each other. Mal hadn’t exactly announced that Sam was crew, it was just kind of assumed. He proved to be an asset. Turns out he knew more about the criminal world than Mal did. Had a hand in nearly everything, money to spare from living so long, a reputation that was a little scary. She had wondered fleetingly why they hadn’t crossed paths sooner.
River was…still River. She had the same speech pattern, had taken up flying lessons with Wash so he could take an actual vacation with his wife. It was still unnerving sometimes to catch her staring at nothing, whispering to herself about things normal people wouldn’t understand, or care for. She had stopped taking advice from Sam, explaining that she wanted to learn by herself (in more complicated words that took nearly three days for Sam to understand the meaning of and even long for him to explain to the rest of the crew). She was…easier to talk to. She still had some bad days, but now, most were good.
Kaylee left with Simon a few months after her leg healed up. She didn’t want to leave Serenity, but she needed too. Simon was reluctant to leave River alone, but she was old enough (and sane enough) to make her own decisions. The two settled on a little moon, Simon continuing as a doctor, Kaylee fixin’ ships that were needin’ it. They made enough money to stay comfortable, doing what they loved. Mal had made ‘em swear that they’d get their asses back on the ship every few months, just to remember what it’s like for the rest of them. Inara thought they treasured those moments back on board, with the rest of the crew, like nothing had changed. That River had gotten curves, that Jayne had taken up knitting, that Book wasn’t…well.
At least they could say he went peacefully. River had been in tears for weeks before anyone knew what was wrong, digressing to a state in which no one had seen in here since her first weeks on board. She threw fits it she was bothered, stayed cooped up in her room, speaking only to Book. Not even Deana could get her out of her room. When Book finally passed, it was with River clinging to his hand, her eyes dry and haunted, like she was waiting for something she knew wouldn’t come.
They all took comfort when they found River coming back to them. It took a while, but it did happen. She had seemed to feel more peaceful at Book’s death. Something he must have said, or she must have heard to put her mind at ease. She was brighter, happier, she went back to playin’ with Deana and talking to Sam. She even let Inara braid her hair a few times.
Zoë and Wash had a little boy a few months after Deana turned five. Zoë had gotten her chance to meet her child, Wash had been scared shitless and for the first time in a very long time, Inara saw hope flash through the captains eyes. She had eavesdropped on River and Sam talking about how Mal was lonely. River in her cryptic speech, and Sam following along the conversation with his more subtle comments. After that, Inara couldn’t help but notice the darkness in Mal’s eyes. But not just in his, Jayne’s too.
Not that either of them would ever admit they were lonely.
Most of it was over. Sam had convinced Mal that the things that went bump in the night really did go bump and Inara felt like breathing was easier now that both of her lives had merged. Ruby didn’t stay in touch. In the six years since Dean had been locked away Ruby had waved them twice. It was better that way, not having to see Sam hunt like he used to. The worry for him that wasn’t necessary had eased on Inara’s heart. Hunting was still part of Sam’s life, hence, convincing Mal that ‘the truth is out there’.
Which was what Sam was arguing with him about at the moment.
“What don’t you understand? Monster. Evil. We kill it.”
“It’s too dangerous for her-”
“And River’s aloud to go? That doesn’t seem fair.”
“River’s a seer.”
“And Inara’s immortal,” they were at a stand off, one glaring at the other, neither backing down. So what if Niska was still (somehow) alive? It’s not like he could touch them. Still, Mal wouldn’t see reason.
River appeared at Inara’s shoulder, her eyes narrowed thoughtfully at Mal.
“He should come.”
That snapped them out of their macho showdown, both head whipping around to look at River. Mal’s face was twisted into something between horror and … more horror, while Sam just looked bemused.
“And why would I do that, darlin’?”
“You don’t understand.”
“…I’m glad we agree?”
“Sam,” clarified River. “You don’t understand Sam.”
“I understand him perfectly-”
“But you don’t understand,” Mal let out a lower growl from the back of his throat, half in exasperation and half in annoyance. What the hell was River getting at?
“Alright, lil’ albatross, I’ll bite.”
“Not too hard,” said River, dancing forward in a way only she could, a smirk gracing her face. “It’s you’re first time.”
Inara wasn’t sure exactly, but she could have sworn Mal blushed. River ignored it and hopped onto the mule, watching with her chin on her palm as Jayne let Deana tie his hands together. Mal was grumbling something under his breath when he stopped short, his eyes rolling as he turned back to Inara.
She knew he gave before he let the words fall out of his mouth, the promptly rolled his eyes at the smug expression he was getting from both Sam and Inara, turning on his heel and heading off to do Captain-y things before they left.
“Inara,” her eyes flickered back onto Sam, who was staring at her with a goofy grin on his face, not bothering to hide the fact that he was happy she could go with them. She gave him a light grin and started toward him, he met her halfway, his hands sliding up her arms to brace her shoulders.
“I love you,” he said softly, his hazel eyes sparkling. She could see that love in them. Lust, devotion, hopeless adoration. He was too much sometimes. Too good for her….
“I know,” she said, the familiar exchange pulling her grin into a smile. He leaned down slightly, kissing the corner of her mouth, warmth spreading through her fingertips.
This was the only thing she needed. That moment, where everything fell into place and would stay that way as long as his lips stayed on hers. But he pulled away eventually (mostly due to the gagging sounds Jayne and Deana were making), ginning down at her with that same stupid grin that just made his face light up. He was hers, and she would never make him leave again.
His goofy smile slid into something more serene, like he could hear her silent vow to never break his heart like that again.
“Everyone look shiny! Let’s get this shindig underway,” shouted Mal, walking back out into the cargo bay. Sam’s eyes didn’t leave hers, the same lazy smile on his face. The moment was broken again by Mal who started up the mule loudly.
Sam winked at her and turned to the vehicle, picking his daughter up from where she was perched on it and setting her down on the floor. Inara shook her head in amusement and followed.
Bring on eternity.
* translation - shén tiān cái - god damn genius