[Sakumoto Fic]: Thunderstorms and Tempest Cloud 6.3: Muddied Waters
From Cloud 6.2.
“Promise. Promise me you’ll call if anything-…for anything,” Aiba placed a sympathetic hand on Jun’s shoulder. “Okay?”
It took several breaths before the rigid shoulder under his touch relaxed just that little bit, accompanied an almost imperceptible nod, but it was enough to comfort Aiba.
It had to do. For now.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
His sixteen-year-old brain was still trying to figure out whose smart idea it was for the photoshoot to be along the snow-covered banks of Tokyo Bay in late November. Added to that, he had to be mentally deficient to also have acceded to Sho’s request to come by themselves before the actual shoot, just so that they could enjoy the peace and serenity of the frozen bay before work commenced. The white puffs emitted along with his breaths into the frosty air only accentuated the strain in his arms, the bundle of limbs on his back proving to test his physical mettle.
“You know,” he huffed with mock annoyance. “This should be a sign for you to start losing weight.”
“What are you talking about? I thought you were my number-one fan! You can’t possibly be insulting me if that’s true.”
“If that was truly enough to hurt your pride, you wouldn’t really be up to standard to claiming that position now, would you?
“So you’re saying I’m your ichiban?”
Jun could only give an offended-sounding snort, even as he was grateful that Sho couldn’t see the red patches of colour spreading across his cheeks.
At Jun’s concentrated silent effort to trudge through the white powder, Sho gave an almost-braying hoot of laughter. “Jun-chan! Is this your way of admitting that you LURVE me?”
Jun didn’t need to throw a look at the body astride his back to know that Sho’s face would be scrunched up in his typical chipmunk-toothy grin. His momentary distraction served to be his downfall as his felt fingers dig into his sides. As he doubled over to protect his flanks, it took him a second to realise that his back had been freed of its burden… and which now lay like a starfish on the pristine snow.
“Oh my god!” Jun tried to fight back his amusement as he saw the dumbfounded expression taking up residence on Sho’s face.
“You did NOT just throw me into the snow,” Sho glowered as he stood wide-eyed, brushing the white flecks off himself.
“Hey, I didn’t do it intentionally. It was your own fault you know,” Jun backed away, chortling even as he tried to map out his escape route. From Sho’s expression, he couldn’t decide if the older teen was truly mad at him, or just teasing. He held out his hands in a placating fashion, “I’ll… piggy-back you for the rest of today?”
“I’ll show you piggy-back, you- Hey come back here! Where you going?!” Sho’s tirade broke off midway as Jun turned tail and took off running towards the banks where the snow had accumulated significantly.
A quick turn to look at the stationary figure behind him told Jun that Sho hadn’t yet caught on to his intentions. The knowledge only lit the fire under him to get to his destination before Sho connected the dots. By the time he was halfway to the pileup of snow where he would create his “ammunition store” of snowballs, Jun was laughing out loud, determined to turn Sho’s sour mood (if it was indeed that) around. And if he wasn’t, well… then a snowball fight was always cathartic. It was only a pity that today’s photoshoot had only been the two of them and not all five members.
He had reached the mound of almost sparkling white crystals when he looked back… but Sho had disappeared.
“Sho?”
A quick scan across the open area around the bank showed no one in sight.
“Sho… Sho!”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Sho!”
Jun jolted awake to the sound of his own voice, the fleeting sense of relief at seeing Sho’s face in front of him segueing into reality, reminding him of where he was… of how Sho was. But the dream -nightmare really - had been too real. At least in the beginning; they’d really had such a photoshoot in the early years of their careers. As for the end… Jun rubbed his hands on his arms to chase away the lingering chill, but refrained from pondering if it was from the wintery dreamscape… or otherwise.
“Jun?”
The soft utterance of his own name caused Jun to throw a confused look towards Ohno who was also rubbing sleep from his eyes. As Ohno stretched his body off the sofa he’d been occupying in repose, Jun guessed that the still-yawning man must have come in after he himself had fallen asleep in the early hours of dawn, worn out from watching Sho for any signs of movement.
Jun took a deep breath to slow down his nervous heartbeat, and deliberately refocused on the heavy-eyed artist. For the past 24 hours or so, Ohno had been in the unenviable position of having been thrust into the role where he really had to live up to his nickname, meeting up with the company’s management, and holding the helm at the press conference to explain “the situation”. Sho would have been proud of him…
“Bad dream?”
The familiarity of the tone drew him out of his thoughts and comforted Jun, despite the mayhem of the past couple of days. He threw an encouraging smile in Ohno’s direction, determined to take his mind of the disturbing dream, and be one less burden on the latter’s heavily loaded shoulders.
While Ohno had taken more active responsibility, Aiba, Nino and himself had rotated shifts to stay by Sho’s bedside. Things with Nino were still prickly, but with everyone’s heightened state of emotions, both of them seemed to have come to an unspoken stalemate of sorts. It was something that Ohno was likely appreciative of, even if he said nothing about it.
“How you holdin’ up?” Ohno’s words were somewhat muffled behind his yawn.
Jun could not help the fondness gathering in him for their stalwart, albeit sometimes bumbling, fisherman. For all his preference of the open seas, Jun appreciated the effort Ohno was making. “I’m fine, Riida. Worry about your own rest first. You’ve been working hard these past few days.”
“Hmmm.”
Jun couldn’t decide if Ohno’s reply was due to tiredness, or just his usual lackadaisical nature rising to the surface again.
“Jun, I was just thinking.”
“About?”
“Fanservice.” Ohno’s tone was conversational, flipping idly through a fishing magazine that he had gotten his hands on while again comfortably laid out along the length of the sofa.
“Eh?” Jun exclaimed a little too loudly before stealing a guilty glance at the slumbering man beside him. He inclined his head as he regarded Ohno with owlish eyes. “Oh-chan. If you’re talking about the upcoming tour, didn’t we agree that going with the natural flow worked best?”
“Hmm… yeah.”
Only the turning of pages filled the quiet of the room as Jun continued to stare. Leave it to Ohno to bring up matters unrelated to the current crisis.
“And… that’s not what you were talking about,” the subdued half-frown gathered on Jun’s forehead as Ohno paid him little heed, continuing to browse through the pages.
“Mm-hmm.” A smile accompanied the gentle nod of his head, eyes still fixed on the bound sheets in his hand.
“Is it about the variety shows?”
“Not really.”
“Then why-”
“Which is your favourite pairing?”
Jun sent him a you’re-just-trying-to-distract-me raise of an eyebrow, but Ohno was either blatantly avoiding looking at Jun, or was really that captivated by whatever it was he was reading.
Coming up with answers that would only paint himself into awkward corners, Jun kept quiet, hoping that their oldest member would let the question slide if he failed to answer.
“Jun-kun.” By now, Ohno sat up properly, setting aside the magazine to regard Jun in earnest. “I think we can relegate Ohmiya SK to be a thing of the past.”
“EH?” This time, Jun did not even try to hide his surprise. “Riida…”
“Nino’s been spending a lot of time with Aiba-chan lately,” Ohno said, dropping his gaze.
“That doesn’t mean Nino’s forgotten about you, Oh-chan,” Jun moved towards the couch where Ohno was seated with the intention to soothe the older man. He suspected that Nino and Aiba had probably been cracking their heads together to figure out the situation with Sho, and felt like a heel to have unknowingly triggered Ohno’s insecurities.
Ohno’s following words, however, put pause to his thoughts.
“I just mean… that I kinda know how you feel.”
“But I don’t-”
“Ohmiya’s been there almost from the start,” Ohno looked up from staring at the floor. “I guess I always took it for granted that that would never change.”
Jun felt an ache in his heart to know that Ohno’s words so nearly reflected his own thoughts about Sho, even if his own younger child-like enthusiasm of holding Sho up on a pedestal had eased up through their growing years.
“For what it’s worth, I don’t think Nino would forgive YOU if he heard you say Ohmiya’s a past relic,” Jun’s lips turned up a little in an attempt to lighten the mood. “But… if that’s really what you think,” he paused, his smile fading somewhat, “then it’s a good thing that you noticed that things have changed.”
Ohno regarded him silently for a moment, before he stood and came closer to Jun who steadfastly avoided meeting his gaze. Resting a hand on the taller man’s shoulder, Ohno gave a light squeeze to get Jun’s attention.
“Better late than the realization not come at all, right?” Ohno said, throwing a meaningful glance to the bed that was behind Jun.
Jun resisted the temptation to rub his hand over his eyes, already feeling his jaw tense. He really should have known that Ohno hadn’t been talking about Nino and himself; the barely tamped-down sense of panic that had risen in his throat sending a dull throb through his body.
“Jun-kun.” Ohno’s voice sounded paradoxically hopeful yet melancholic.
A little startled when he felt himself pulled forward and downward to rest his chin awkwardly on the other man’s shoulder, Jun froze in place, uncertain at the turn of events. “Oh-chan?”
There was a fleeting moment before Jun felt tentative soft pats on his back, and he took a tottering half-step forward, unwillingly leaning further into the embrace to prevent himself from falling forward entirely.
“You don’t always have to put up a brave front you know,” the soothingly soft voice seemed to push down the nervousness Jun felt in him. “He’ll be fine Jun.”
Jun should have cared that anyone who saw them could misunderstand the situation, that he should have pulled away, but that he could just let himself rely on someone without pretense, and who knew precisely how he felt… Jun felt something break inside of him, and drew in a shuddering breath as he unconsciously tightened his own grip on Ohno, thankful for the solidity offered.
“When Sho wakes up,” Ohno said in barely above a whisper.
“But he’s… If he doesn’t-”
“WHEN he recovers,” Ohno insisted in a tone that brooked no argument, “you’ll work out whatever misunderstanding stands between you.”
Jun could only sigh a little as he felt a tiredness sweep through him, as much from his continued vigilance as from his troubled thoughts.
“You two can be so pig-headed, you know,” Ohno said with a little self-deprecating laugh.
“So you’re saying to-”
“Talk to him Jun. Honestly. No ‘I thought’ or ‘You thought’. Get things out in the open.”
“You sound just like Nino right now,” Jun scolded Ohno weakly. “You should take your own advice you know.”
“We’ll both do that okay?” Ohno gave the tense back under his touch another reassuring pat as Jun held his tongue, fighting to overcome the pessimistic voice that wanted to say that things just had a way of working against him.
All along, he’d been wrestling with his own demons and suppositions about what had transpired between Sho and himself. He had thought that Sho would always have been there, that it would be his own fears that kept them from having a firmer friendship, as bandmates or otherwise. Life had a way of throwing a spanner in the works, and it drove home the point that things were not always up to his choosing.
Maybe, just maybe, he’d held himself back for all the wrong reasons.
Reasons that no longer seemed to make much sense.
Reasons that really didn't seem to exist anymore.
It took several moments before the soothingly calming heartbeats began to mirror themselves through Jun’s body. When he drew in a jagged breath, the hands that had been gently offering comforting pats to his back came to an abrupt halt. It was this disconcerting pause that drew Jun out of his serene haven. He pulled back as Ohno’s hands fell away from him, his confused look seeking askance in Ohno’s distracted gaze.
“Oh-chan?”
“Sho.”
“What’s wrong?” Jun whipped around, fearful that Sho’s condition had worsened in the few moments he had taken his eyes off the man, and promptly came to a standstill.
It didn’t matter if the voice that spoke aloud was Ohno’s or his.
“Sho. You’re awake.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Click here for Cloud 7.1.
A/N: I really detest the long periods between which I can work on this fic, so I must apologize for the long wait between parts. No excuses, just to say that I will definitely will finish the fic and not leave anyone hanging. Hope this longer part can go some way to make up for the long wait? Anyway, must say that I’m a three-year-old-plus fan, so chibi Arashi, while I love it, I’m not really familiar with it. So for any inconsistencies with reality, I’ll have to apologise. Pretty much canon from Part 5 onwards. Also that I think I’ll tie up in a couple more parts. Apologies in advance for split parts. A shoutout to theproudpenguin for the lovely picspams of various pairings that inspired a particular segment in this part (click on the pic to get to her picspam page).
J As always, comments are love ©.
“Promise. Promise me you’ll call if anything-…for anything,” Aiba placed a sympathetic hand on Jun’s shoulder. “Okay?”
It took several breaths before the rigid shoulder under his touch relaxed just that little bit, accompanied an almost imperceptible nod, but it was enough to comfort Aiba.
It had to do. For now.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
His sixteen-year-old brain was still trying to figure out whose smart idea it was for the photoshoot to be along the snow-covered banks of Tokyo Bay in late November. Added to that, he had to be mentally deficient to also have acceded to Sho’s request to come by themselves before the actual shoot, just so that they could enjoy the peace and serenity of the frozen bay before work commenced. The white puffs emitted along with his breaths into the frosty air only accentuated the strain in his arms, the bundle of limbs on his back proving to test his physical mettle.
“You know,” he huffed with mock annoyance. “This should be a sign for you to start losing weight.”
“What are you talking about? I thought you were my number-one fan! You can’t possibly be insulting me if that’s true.”
“If that was truly enough to hurt your pride, you wouldn’t really be up to standard to claiming that position now, would you?
“So you’re saying I’m your ichiban?”
Jun could only give an offended-sounding snort, even as he was grateful that Sho couldn’t see the red patches of colour spreading across his cheeks.
At Jun’s concentrated silent effort to trudge through the white powder, Sho gave an almost-braying hoot of laughter. “Jun-chan! Is this your way of admitting that you LURVE me?”
Jun didn’t need to throw a look at the body astride his back to know that Sho’s face would be scrunched up in his typical chipmunk-toothy grin. His momentary distraction served to be his downfall as his felt fingers dig into his sides. As he doubled over to protect his flanks, it took him a second to realise that his back had been freed of its burden… and which now lay like a starfish on the pristine snow.
“Oh my god!” Jun tried to fight back his amusement as he saw the dumbfounded expression taking up residence on Sho’s face.
“You did NOT just throw me into the snow,” Sho glowered as he stood wide-eyed, brushing the white flecks off himself.
“Hey, I didn’t do it intentionally. It was your own fault you know,” Jun backed away, chortling even as he tried to map out his escape route. From Sho’s expression, he couldn’t decide if the older teen was truly mad at him, or just teasing. He held out his hands in a placating fashion, “I’ll… piggy-back you for the rest of today?”
“I’ll show you piggy-back, you- Hey come back here! Where you going?!” Sho’s tirade broke off midway as Jun turned tail and took off running towards the banks where the snow had accumulated significantly.
A quick turn to look at the stationary figure behind him told Jun that Sho hadn’t yet caught on to his intentions. The knowledge only lit the fire under him to get to his destination before Sho connected the dots. By the time he was halfway to the pileup of snow where he would create his “ammunition store” of snowballs, Jun was laughing out loud, determined to turn Sho’s sour mood (if it was indeed that) around. And if he wasn’t, well… then a snowball fight was always cathartic. It was only a pity that today’s photoshoot had only been the two of them and not all five members.
He had reached the mound of almost sparkling white crystals when he looked back… but Sho had disappeared.
“Sho?”
A quick scan across the open area around the bank showed no one in sight.
“Sho… Sho!”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Sho!”
Jun jolted awake to the sound of his own voice, the fleeting sense of relief at seeing Sho’s face in front of him segueing into reality, reminding him of where he was… of how Sho was. But the dream -nightmare really - had been too real. At least in the beginning; they’d really had such a photoshoot in the early years of their careers. As for the end… Jun rubbed his hands on his arms to chase away the lingering chill, but refrained from pondering if it was from the wintery dreamscape… or otherwise.
“Jun?”
The soft utterance of his own name caused Jun to throw a confused look towards Ohno who was also rubbing sleep from his eyes. As Ohno stretched his body off the sofa he’d been occupying in repose, Jun guessed that the still-yawning man must have come in after he himself had fallen asleep in the early hours of dawn, worn out from watching Sho for any signs of movement.
Jun took a deep breath to slow down his nervous heartbeat, and deliberately refocused on the heavy-eyed artist. For the past 24 hours or so, Ohno had been in the unenviable position of having been thrust into the role where he really had to live up to his nickname, meeting up with the company’s management, and holding the helm at the press conference to explain “the situation”. Sho would have been proud of him…
“Bad dream?”
The familiarity of the tone drew him out of his thoughts and comforted Jun, despite the mayhem of the past couple of days. He threw an encouraging smile in Ohno’s direction, determined to take his mind of the disturbing dream, and be one less burden on the latter’s heavily loaded shoulders.
While Ohno had taken more active responsibility, Aiba, Nino and himself had rotated shifts to stay by Sho’s bedside. Things with Nino were still prickly, but with everyone’s heightened state of emotions, both of them seemed to have come to an unspoken stalemate of sorts. It was something that Ohno was likely appreciative of, even if he said nothing about it.
“How you holdin’ up?” Ohno’s words were somewhat muffled behind his yawn.
Jun could not help the fondness gathering in him for their stalwart, albeit sometimes bumbling, fisherman. For all his preference of the open seas, Jun appreciated the effort Ohno was making. “I’m fine, Riida. Worry about your own rest first. You’ve been working hard these past few days.”
“Hmmm.”
Jun couldn’t decide if Ohno’s reply was due to tiredness, or just his usual lackadaisical nature rising to the surface again.
“Jun, I was just thinking.”
“About?”
“Fanservice.” Ohno’s tone was conversational, flipping idly through a fishing magazine that he had gotten his hands on while again comfortably laid out along the length of the sofa.
“Eh?” Jun exclaimed a little too loudly before stealing a guilty glance at the slumbering man beside him. He inclined his head as he regarded Ohno with owlish eyes. “Oh-chan. If you’re talking about the upcoming tour, didn’t we agree that going with the natural flow worked best?”
“Hmm… yeah.”
Only the turning of pages filled the quiet of the room as Jun continued to stare. Leave it to Ohno to bring up matters unrelated to the current crisis.
“And… that’s not what you were talking about,” the subdued half-frown gathered on Jun’s forehead as Ohno paid him little heed, continuing to browse through the pages.
“Mm-hmm.” A smile accompanied the gentle nod of his head, eyes still fixed on the bound sheets in his hand.
“Is it about the variety shows?”
“Not really.”
“Then why-”
“Which is your favourite pairing?”
Jun sent him a you’re-just-trying-to-distract-me raise of an eyebrow, but Ohno was either blatantly avoiding looking at Jun, or was really that captivated by whatever it was he was reading.
Coming up with answers that would only paint himself into awkward corners, Jun kept quiet, hoping that their oldest member would let the question slide if he failed to answer.
“Jun-kun.” By now, Ohno sat up properly, setting aside the magazine to regard Jun in earnest. “I think we can relegate Ohmiya SK to be a thing of the past.”
“EH?” This time, Jun did not even try to hide his surprise. “Riida…”
“Nino’s been spending a lot of time with Aiba-chan lately,” Ohno said, dropping his gaze.
“That doesn’t mean Nino’s forgotten about you, Oh-chan,” Jun moved towards the couch where Ohno was seated with the intention to soothe the older man. He suspected that Nino and Aiba had probably been cracking their heads together to figure out the situation with Sho, and felt like a heel to have unknowingly triggered Ohno’s insecurities.
Ohno’s following words, however, put pause to his thoughts.
“I just mean… that I kinda know how you feel.”
“But I don’t-”
“Ohmiya’s been there almost from the start,” Ohno looked up from staring at the floor. “I guess I always took it for granted that that would never change.”
Jun felt an ache in his heart to know that Ohno’s words so nearly reflected his own thoughts about Sho, even if his own younger child-like enthusiasm of holding Sho up on a pedestal had eased up through their growing years.
“For what it’s worth, I don’t think Nino would forgive YOU if he heard you say Ohmiya’s a past relic,” Jun’s lips turned up a little in an attempt to lighten the mood. “But… if that’s really what you think,” he paused, his smile fading somewhat, “then it’s a good thing that you noticed that things have changed.”
Ohno regarded him silently for a moment, before he stood and came closer to Jun who steadfastly avoided meeting his gaze. Resting a hand on the taller man’s shoulder, Ohno gave a light squeeze to get Jun’s attention.
“Better late than the realization not come at all, right?” Ohno said, throwing a meaningful glance to the bed that was behind Jun.
Jun resisted the temptation to rub his hand over his eyes, already feeling his jaw tense. He really should have known that Ohno hadn’t been talking about Nino and himself; the barely tamped-down sense of panic that had risen in his throat sending a dull throb through his body.
“Jun-kun.” Ohno’s voice sounded paradoxically hopeful yet melancholic.
A little startled when he felt himself pulled forward and downward to rest his chin awkwardly on the other man’s shoulder, Jun froze in place, uncertain at the turn of events. “Oh-chan?”
There was a fleeting moment before Jun felt tentative soft pats on his back, and he took a tottering half-step forward, unwillingly leaning further into the embrace to prevent himself from falling forward entirely.
“You don’t always have to put up a brave front you know,” the soothingly soft voice seemed to push down the nervousness Jun felt in him. “He’ll be fine Jun.”
Jun should have cared that anyone who saw them could misunderstand the situation, that he should have pulled away, but that he could just let himself rely on someone without pretense, and who knew precisely how he felt… Jun felt something break inside of him, and drew in a shuddering breath as he unconsciously tightened his own grip on Ohno, thankful for the solidity offered.
“When Sho wakes up,” Ohno said in barely above a whisper.
“But he’s… If he doesn’t-”
“WHEN he recovers,” Ohno insisted in a tone that brooked no argument, “you’ll work out whatever misunderstanding stands between you.”
Jun could only sigh a little as he felt a tiredness sweep through him, as much from his continued vigilance as from his troubled thoughts.
“You two can be so pig-headed, you know,” Ohno said with a little self-deprecating laugh.
“So you’re saying to-”
“Talk to him Jun. Honestly. No ‘I thought’ or ‘You thought’. Get things out in the open.”
“You sound just like Nino right now,” Jun scolded Ohno weakly. “You should take your own advice you know.”
“We’ll both do that okay?” Ohno gave the tense back under his touch another reassuring pat as Jun held his tongue, fighting to overcome the pessimistic voice that wanted to say that things just had a way of working against him.
All along, he’d been wrestling with his own demons and suppositions about what had transpired between Sho and himself. He had thought that Sho would always have been there, that it would be his own fears that kept them from having a firmer friendship, as bandmates or otherwise. Life had a way of throwing a spanner in the works, and it drove home the point that things were not always up to his choosing.
Maybe, just maybe, he’d held himself back for all the wrong reasons.
Reasons that no longer seemed to make much sense.
Reasons that really didn't seem to exist anymore.
It took several moments before the soothingly calming heartbeats began to mirror themselves through Jun’s body. When he drew in a jagged breath, the hands that had been gently offering comforting pats to his back came to an abrupt halt. It was this disconcerting pause that drew Jun out of his serene haven. He pulled back as Ohno’s hands fell away from him, his confused look seeking askance in Ohno’s distracted gaze.
“Oh-chan?”
“Sho.”
“What’s wrong?” Jun whipped around, fearful that Sho’s condition had worsened in the few moments he had taken his eyes off the man, and promptly came to a standstill.
It didn’t matter if the voice that spoke aloud was Ohno’s or his.
“Sho. You’re awake.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Click here for Cloud 7.1.
A/N: I really detest the long periods between which I can work on this fic, so I must apologize for the long wait between parts. No excuses, just to say that I will definitely will finish the fic and not leave anyone hanging. Hope this longer part can go some way to make up for the long wait? Anyway, must say that I’m a three-year-old-plus fan, so chibi Arashi, while I love it, I’m not really familiar with it. So for any inconsistencies with reality, I’ll have to apologise. Pretty much canon from Part 5 onwards. Also that I think I’ll tie up in a couple more parts. Apologies in advance for split parts. A shoutout to theproudpenguin for the lovely picspams of various pairings that inspired a particular segment in this part (click on the pic to get to her picspam page).
J As always, comments are love ©.