A priest, a fed, and an alien walk into a bar...
I've wanted to make this post for awhile, but I was leery of getting attached in case it wouldn't be renewed. THEN THE WORLD DECIDED TO BE AWESOME. \o/
So, in honor of a second season:
Let me just say it outright. V is not a good show. It's silly, illogical, full of plot holes the size of meteors, and the entire thing has this skeevy right-wing subtext like if Fox News made a show about aliens. It's about magically-drug-addicted lizards who land on Earth and quickly maneuver into power... by being nice. And only torturing people in private. They win the devotion of the entire world and only a small band of paranoid fear-mongering terrorists can bring them down! Those are the heroes, by the way.
But there are good things about V.
Under the cut are ten reasons you should watch this show if you haven't already. (And I don't want to hear a word against my taste, because I know for a fact half of you are watching Spartacus: Blood and Sand. YOU CANNOT JUDGE.)
10: Awesome Ladies
There are several great ladies on V, but here are the big three:
Erica: Rebel leader, federal agent, badass extraordinarie. We've seen her fight like three Vs with her bare hands and whatever's lying around, and that's when she not shooting them or bashing off parts of their face. V could easily be renamed "Juliet the FBI agent fights aliens with the help of her male harem. And sometimes she punches them in the mouth to keep them in line."
Anna: The queen and high commander of the Vs, and a hardcore evil genius.
School's in session.
She's smart, cold, manipulative, ruthless; she skins traitors; she eats her mates; she outsmarts and outplays the heroes at almost every turn. And for bonus points?
The whole "human vs. alien" struggle is basically defined by Anna and Erica -- queen V against the unofficial leader of the resistance. The defining relationship of the show is between two women. How often do you see that on TV?
Lisa: She starts as nothing more than eyecandy but winds up having the most interesting arc of the show. I mean, with actual character development and depth. I KNOW! I really wish I could say more, but it's spoilery. JUST KNOW IT'S AMAZING.
9: Delicious Manflesh
I'll go more in-depth in the shipping section, but basically you've got:
Jack, the blue-eyed, all-American gun-toting priest
Hobbes the snarky killer ex-mercenary
Ryan the tortured sleeper agent
And...
8: Joshua
Yes, he gets his own number. Because Joshua? Joshua is a bisexual alien resistance fighter.
At first he pinged my gaydar because he was having such heavy chemistry with another dude aboard the ship -- and I mean seriously, the UST was so thick even my mother was like "LOL CLAY AIKEN IN SPACE" -- but then he got really sexy and shippable with the women, and I had to revise my opinion from "gay" to "bisexual" to "Jack Harkness."
If you need more convincing, he's a doctor. A bisexual alien doctor resistance fighter with a proven record of eyefucking people so hard they change sides in a war. This is why he gets his own number, ladies.
7: Worse Science than Doctor Who
I remember someone comparing the Twilight series to a Twinkie. You know it's bad for you, you know exactly what you're getting when you open one, and sometimes you just want it anyway. V is that show. V is a Twinkie. You never have to use your brain, it's no use figuring out the science because it's wrong anyway, and you never have to worry about plot twists because the writers will forget them by the next episode. V is a show where you can just sit back and laugh at the bad parts and be pleasantly surprised by the good ones. Win-win!
6: Ragtag Band of Heroes Against Unstoppable Odds
C'mon, everyone loves a good resistance story. Secret meetings! Rebellious graffiti! Spies and double agents and basement scheming! Who's really on your side? YOU NEVER KNOW.
Chew on this: Erica is a terrorist while being a counterterrorist agent who's both head of the anti-Fifth Column task force and a secret member of the Fifth Column.
Are you confused? So is everyone! It's the V experience, and if you're torrenting it's even cheaper than drugs.
5: The Black Hole of Tyler
Tyler is such an annoying little worm that not a single person likes him. Travel to any forum, community, or messageboard and you can bask in the Tyler hate. He's actually a unifying force across fandom, because no matter what else people are arguing about, everyone can agree that he sucks.
So thank you, Tyler. Thank you for being so goddamn irritating that you bring people together.
4: It's like LOST! But with aliens!
You know the mindfuck of unasked questions, dragged-out mysteries and multiple confusing plot developments? You know how it makes you want to kill yourself every time you watch LOST? Well, V does that all that time! Even though LOST is ending, you can still look forward to a weekly dose of teeth-grinding! Aren't you glad?
3: A buffet of potential pairings just waiting to be porned
Do you like forbidden love? Sexual tension? Makeouts? Het? Slash? Human and alien? Alien and alien? V offers a little something for everyone. Here are the major players:
Erica/Jack:
He's a man of the cloth, which makes their chemistry deliciously forbidden. They also have an awesome role reversal where Erica is the tough one who blows shit up whereas Jack takes the kind, empathic, traditionally feminine role of group conscience and hand-wringer. (He actually gets lines like "This is what's in my heart!" which is just PRECIOUS.)
Erica/Jack is what the show wants us to ship, so it'll probably become canon at some point.
Erica/Hobbes:
THIS IS MY SHIP. Sorry, I'm not even gonna try to be objective. She's the kickass FBI agent! He's the slouchy snarky amoral mercenary! They flirt! They tag-team in badassery!
Erica basically strong-arms him into the resistance, and Hobbes is SO into her it's almost comical. He's supposed to be this fearsome badass yet he doesn't do anything without her permission and waits for all her cues and sneaks her all these looks CONSTANTLY. Sure, you could say he's somehow not in love with her. You could also say that Joshua's buddy on the mothership was just a really close male friend.
Ryan/Val:
They reel you in with domesticity and cuteness and then WHAM YOU WITH ANGST. "Have you ever met a woman who took your breath away?" RYANNNNNN. ;________;
Tyler/Lisa:
Because Tyler can't be annoying when his mouth is occupied.
???
I don't dare ruin this one, but it reared its head in the second half of the season and everyone promptly went "DO WANT!" I'll give you a hint, she put her hand under his chin and it was made of unffffffff.
Anna/Chad:
This is a disgusting pairing, like slimy eels wiggling down your throat. But since only Tyler is more annoying than Chad, there's something almost fun about rooting for Anna to bang him and then bite his head off.
Anna/Erica:
You know it could happen, and it would be so hot, and they'd probably slit each other's throats at the end and it would still be hot.
2: Hobbes' Arms
Hobbes' arms are the true strength behind the resistance. Even Elizabeth Mitchell said in an interview: Whenever he goes to put on a jacket every woman (and some men) in the room shout 'NO!'
Which brings me to...
1: Plot
Plot is very important.
So, in honor of a second season:
Let me just say it outright. V is not a good show. It's silly, illogical, full of plot holes the size of meteors, and the entire thing has this skeevy right-wing subtext like if Fox News made a show about aliens. It's about magically-drug-addicted lizards who land on Earth and quickly maneuver into power... by being nice. And only torturing people in private. They win the devotion of the entire world and only a small band of paranoid fear-mongering terrorists can bring them down! Those are the heroes, by the way.
But there are good things about V.
Under the cut are ten reasons you should watch this show if you haven't already. (And I don't want to hear a word against my taste, because I know for a fact half of you are watching Spartacus: Blood and Sand. YOU CANNOT JUDGE.)
10: Awesome Ladies
There are several great ladies on V, but here are the big three:
Erica: Rebel leader, federal agent, badass extraordinarie. We've seen her fight like three Vs with her bare hands and whatever's lying around, and that's when she not shooting them or bashing off parts of their face. V could easily be renamed "Juliet the FBI agent fights aliens with the help of her male harem. And sometimes she punches them in the mouth to keep them in line."
Anna: The queen and high commander of the Vs, and a hardcore evil genius.
School's in session.
She's smart, cold, manipulative, ruthless; she skins traitors; she eats her mates; she outsmarts and outplays the heroes at almost every turn. And for bonus points?
The whole "human vs. alien" struggle is basically defined by Anna and Erica -- queen V against the unofficial leader of the resistance. The defining relationship of the show is between two women. How often do you see that on TV?
Lisa: She starts as nothing more than eyecandy but winds up having the most interesting arc of the show. I mean, with actual character development and depth. I KNOW! I really wish I could say more, but it's spoilery. JUST KNOW IT'S AMAZING.
9: Delicious Manflesh
I'll go more in-depth in the shipping section, but basically you've got:
And...
8: Joshua
Yes, he gets his own number. Because Joshua? Joshua is a bisexual alien resistance fighter.
At first he pinged my gaydar because he was having such heavy chemistry with another dude aboard the ship -- and I mean seriously, the UST was so thick even my mother was like "LOL CLAY AIKEN IN SPACE" -- but then he got really sexy and shippable with the women, and I had to revise my opinion from "gay" to "bisexual" to "Jack Harkness."
If you need more convincing, he's a doctor. A bisexual alien doctor resistance fighter with a proven record of eyefucking people so hard they change sides in a war. This is why he gets his own number, ladies.
7: Worse Science than Doctor Who
I remember someone comparing the Twilight series to a Twinkie. You know it's bad for you, you know exactly what you're getting when you open one, and sometimes you just want it anyway. V is that show. V is a Twinkie. You never have to use your brain, it's no use figuring out the science because it's wrong anyway, and you never have to worry about plot twists because the writers will forget them by the next episode. V is a show where you can just sit back and laugh at the bad parts and be pleasantly surprised by the good ones. Win-win!
6: Ragtag Band of Heroes Against Unstoppable Odds
C'mon, everyone loves a good resistance story. Secret meetings! Rebellious graffiti! Spies and double agents and basement scheming! Who's really on your side? YOU NEVER KNOW.
Chew on this: Erica is a terrorist while being a counterterrorist agent who's both head of the anti-Fifth Column task force and a secret member of the Fifth Column.
Are you confused? So is everyone! It's the V experience, and if you're torrenting it's even cheaper than drugs.
5: The Black Hole of Tyler
Tyler is such an annoying little worm that not a single person likes him. Travel to any forum, community, or messageboard and you can bask in the Tyler hate. He's actually a unifying force across fandom, because no matter what else people are arguing about, everyone can agree that he sucks.
So thank you, Tyler. Thank you for being so goddamn irritating that you bring people together.
4: It's like LOST! But with aliens!
You know the mindfuck of unasked questions, dragged-out mysteries and multiple confusing plot developments? You know how it makes you want to kill yourself every time you watch LOST? Well, V does that all that time! Even though LOST is ending, you can still look forward to a weekly dose of teeth-grinding! Aren't you glad?
3: A buffet of potential pairings just waiting to be porned
Do you like forbidden love? Sexual tension? Makeouts? Het? Slash? Human and alien? Alien and alien? V offers a little something for everyone. Here are the major players:
Erica/Jack:
He's a man of the cloth, which makes their chemistry deliciously forbidden. They also have an awesome role reversal where Erica is the tough one who blows shit up whereas Jack takes the kind, empathic, traditionally feminine role of group conscience and hand-wringer. (He actually gets lines like "This is what's in my heart!" which is just PRECIOUS.)
Erica/Jack is what the show wants us to ship, so it'll probably become canon at some point.
Erica/Hobbes:
THIS IS MY SHIP. Sorry, I'm not even gonna try to be objective. She's the kickass FBI agent! He's the slouchy snarky amoral mercenary! They flirt! They tag-team in badassery!
Erica basically strong-arms him into the resistance, and Hobbes is SO into her it's almost comical. He's supposed to be this fearsome badass yet he doesn't do anything without her permission and waits for all her cues and sneaks her all these looks CONSTANTLY. Sure, you could say he's somehow not in love with her. You could also say that Joshua's buddy on the mothership was just a really close male friend.
Ryan/Val:
They reel you in with domesticity and cuteness and then WHAM YOU WITH ANGST. "Have you ever met a woman who took your breath away?" RYANNNNNN. ;________;
Tyler/Lisa:
Because Tyler can't be annoying when his mouth is occupied.
???
I don't dare ruin this one, but it reared its head in the second half of the season and everyone promptly went "DO WANT!" I'll give you a hint, she put her hand under his chin and it was made of unffffffff.
Anna/Chad:
This is a disgusting pairing, like slimy eels wiggling down your throat. But since only Tyler is more annoying than Chad, there's something almost fun about rooting for Anna to bang him and then bite his head off.
Anna/Erica:
You know it could happen, and it would be so hot, and they'd probably slit each other's throats at the end and it would still be hot.
2: Hobbes' Arms
Hobbes' arms are the true strength behind the resistance. Even Elizabeth Mitchell said in an interview: Whenever he goes to put on a jacket every woman (and some men) in the room shout 'NO!'
Which brings me to...
1: Plot
Plot is very important.