FIC: A Peculiar Thing (A Midsummer Night's Dream) Part 1
Title:A Peculiar Thing
Author:darkboudicca
Claim:A Midsummer Night’s Dream
Pairing:Dean/Cas, Cas/Sam, implied Gabe/Crowley
Rating:Pg-13
Genre:Crackfic
Word Count: 6,512
Warnings:emotional manipulation, brief violence, men kissing,
Summary: AU written for dc_everafter in which Gabriel and Crowley team up to help avert the apocalypse through the power of gay love between a fallen angel and a righteous man. It's a long shot for sure because a certain righteous man is stubborn as hell. But Gabe’s sure he can overcome Dean’s repression with the judicious application of cupid mojo. However, the course of trickery never did run smooth, as the mojo fails to take hold on Dean and instead rebounds on Castiel, who chooses this one moment to look at someone other than Dean. Needless to say, Sam is not amused to find himself the subject of Castiel's personal-space invasion & intense eye-fucking. Not amused at all.
Author’s Notes: This majorly deviates from the source material in order to make it reasonably fit in with the Supernatural 'verse. I'll let you wonderful readers decide how well that worked out. Anyway, I thought I should share that this takes place some time mid-season 5 and goes AU sometime during/after Changing Channels. This started off cracky and got a wee bit angsty by the end.
Many, many thanks go to my artist cupidsbow for being a phenomenal collaborator and cheerleader the whole way through this project. And for being super understanding when my life went splat in the middle of this project. Her vid is brilliant and funny. I hope you all love it as much as I do. Here, have some links: The One That I Want (at her journal) and Youtube link
Beta'd by cupidsbow
Without further ado:
Merry and magical, tedious and brief. Briefly tedious!
Gabriel blinked water out of his eyes as he watched the Winchesters and Castiel walk out of the warehouse. He had to admit, he was impressed that they managed to trap him in Holy Oil. Dean was a lot smarter than he looked, not that he'd ever tell the chucklehead that.
Fifteen minutes later the flames had barely begun to die down despite the amount of water flowing from the sprinklers. At this rate he'd be trapped for hours before the flames died out completely.
The sprinklers shut off abruptly.
"Oh, come on, you've got to be kidding me!"He splashed the puddle of water that had formed in the circle against the flames, which glowed hot and menacing under his assault.
Suddenly, the warehouse started to shake and the glass shattered in what remained of the windows.
"What the?" Gabriel muttered as the doors blew open and a cloud of black smoke streamed into the warehouse, making the air thick with sulphur.
Gabriel manifested his angel blade and waited as the demon coalesced into human form.
Crowley stepped forward and smirked at him, "Am I the only one who doesn't underestimate those denim-clad nightmares?"
Gabriel pulled a sour look, "Really, you couldn't come in for a softer landing?"
"I enjoyed seeing the look on your face," Crowley retorted.
Gabriel rolled his eyes, "Just get me out of this thing. I've never liked being this close to Holy Oil."
Crowley snapped his fingers and the flames disappeared.
"I take it my plan worked as expected," Crowley murmured, turning his back to Gabriel.
"Your plan? I think you mean our plan? And of course it worked, those chuckleheads won't be saying 'yes' to Mikey and Lucifer anytime soon."
Crowley spun around and waggled a gold bag at Gabriel. "Let’s not forget who’s Robin Goodfellow in this relationship, hmmm?"
"You actually got it?" Gabriel lurched forward and grabbed the bag from Crowley. He pulled open the drawstring and peered at the contents.
"I found a Cupid who, while not willing, was certainly able. You won't believe what I had to go through to get those, so I suggest you don’t miss because I won't be doing it again," Crowley shuddered and smoothed his hands down his suit.
Enraptured, Gabriel murmured, "I can imagine-never mind. I've had run-ins with Cupids, I don’t want to imagine. Besides, if this doesn't work the other gods will eat us for breakfast."
Crowley tilted his head, considering, "Hmmm, yes, you have a point. Jolly good then," he clapped his hands together, "Time for phase two?"
Gabriel pulled the bag closed, "I'll track those three. Think you can distract Lucifer long enough from raising Death?"
Crowley quirked his eyebrow as if to say, what do you take me for? “King of the Crossroads, baby! I’ll lead him on a merry chase. Remember, don't miss," with that, Crowley disappeared.
"Yeah, yeah," Gabriel muttered and then vanished in a flutter of wings.
***
Gabriel cloaked his presence before appearing in Dean and Sam’s motel room. The pagan gods, impatient as only gods could be, were already yammering in his ear for results. They were more than a little displeased that he'd lost the boys' trail and Ganesh, especially, couldn’t stop stressing the urgency of their mission.
Kali hadn’t taken it well when he’d muttered, "It’s always the end of the world, somewhere," at their last briefing. And to top it off, Crowley hadn't checked in yet, which did not bode well.
He shook his head and focused on the mission, Crowley could take care of himself.
Dean and Sam were tangled up in their respective beds, Dean sleeping in the one closest to the door.
Gabriel made his way over to Dean and stood over the hunter.
Dean stirred and frowned in his sleep, and started to wake up.
Gabriel's eyes widened, the hunter was way more sensitive than he expected him to be. He brushed his fingers against Dean's forehead and sent him into a deeper sleep.
Gabriel glanced at Sam, but the other hunter was out like a light.
He opened the gold bag and got to work. Gabriel spilled a tiny pearlescent purple ball into his palm and then carefully slipped it into Dean's ear. And not a moment too soon, because he sensed Castiel's imminent arrival.
Gabriel released more of his grace and used it cloak himself from Castiel, who appeared in the middle of the room.
Despite the deep sleep he'd sent Dean into, the hunter fought his way to wakefulness within seconds of Castiel's arrival.
"Cas?" Dean whispered as he spied the angel, who had moved to the foot of his bed, "What’s up, man?"
Castiel peered around the gloom of the room, "I thought I sensed a presence near you."
"A presence?" Dean pulled his gun out from under his pillow and got out of bed, "What kind of presence?"
"I can't sense it anymore. I must have been mistaken."
"It's not like you to make a mistake like that, Cas."
"I'm aware," Castiel turned to lock eyes with Dean.
Cloaked from both the humans and Castiel, Gabriel was practically vibrating with excitement. He waited for the big moment.
"I don’t like it," Dean was saying, "You think maybe we missed one of those witches?"
"Perhaps, I can't know for sure what it is I sensed."
"Alright, well Sam and I will get out of here and head back to Bobby's. I've seen about as much of Froid, Montana, as I care to."
Dean smiled and patted Castiel's shoulder.
Right then, something strange happened that Gabriel did not expect. He caught a flash of purple as it passed from Dean's hand and into Castiel's body. Things probably would have gone much differently, if Cas hadn't chosen that one moment to look away from Dean and down at his shoulder.
"Uh, guys, am I interrupting something?" Sam said from his bed.
Dean and Cas looked at Sam. Right then, the bit of mojo took root in Castiel, saw the possibility for love where none had existed before, and sprouted a seed that quickly flowered.
Gabriel palmed his face and flew away from the room.
***
Crowley was not pleased. In fact, Crowley was pissed, “You missed? How could you possibly miss?” the demon fumed as he stormed up and down his study.
"On the bright side, at least we know that Dean’s already in love with Cas."
"The bright side?!” Crowley roared, “The Bright side?! I've been keeping half a step ahead of Lucifer's henchmen, who ate my bloody tailor by the way, and you want me to look on the bright side?"
Gabriel poured himself a glass of chocolate syrup while Crowley raged at him. He took a restorative sip and said, "It's a snag, I admit, but I don't see why we can't turn it into a victory in the end?"
"I'll tell you why: the prophecy clearly says that it takes the union of a Righteous Man and an angel who's fallen but not damned to stop the apocalypse and send that hack Lucifer packing. Not a fallen-but-not-damned-angel and the Boy King. Kali’s going to make me choke on my own sulphur, and I can't even blame her."
"Kali's not going to kill anyone. We can fix this."
"Oh, yes. And just how is that, you moron?"
"Look, this is a minor setback at worst. Dean 'the Righteous Man' Winchester loves Castiel completely, totally, absolutely-dare I say, profoundly. Otherwise, the mojo would have taken hold of him immediately when he first looked at Cas. But it didn't. Instead it jumped to the nearest warm body to fulfill its love potential. Now, I'm certain that if Big Foot hadn't woken up just then, all would have been fine and dandy."
"Except he did, and now the bloody angel thinks he's in love with him. Just how are you going to fix this?"
"Hello," Gabriel pointed at himself, "Trickster! All we have to do-" Crowley glared at him. "All I have to do is get Dean to admit his feelings. Everyone gets a happy ending-well, everyone except Lucifer and Michael, but who cares about them anyway. The point is we'll all get to live to see another few thousand sunrises."
Crowley rubbed his forehead, "Get it done before the next check-in or we'll both be dead. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have the devil to thwart," Crowley grabbed a bottle of scotch and vanished.
"Why does he always have to leave first," Gabriel grumbled. He downed the rest of his chocolate syrup and flew away.
***
Gabriel tracked Castiel to the Winchesters' location somewhere in bumblefuck South Dakota, to an utterly dreary salvage yard near Sioux Falls. He landed in the yard and looked around, "So this is the Hall of Justice. Classy," he murmured.
As quick as lighting, Gabriel stole into the house and moved about the rooms, unnoticed by the occupants.
Dean, Sam and Castiel were all in a sitting room in various stages of repose, while a gruff lumberjack looking old man in a wheelchair held court.
"Where to next, Bobby?" Dean asked the old man.
"I'm not sure, yet, boys. I'm still trying to make sense of all these omens, but from what I can tell whatever's about to go down is going to be big and ugly."
"How big?" Sam asked.
"I dunno, I've had reports of demons circling a town, Carthage, Missouri. I think we're gonna need all hands on this one."
"Well that's just great," Dean said, "Who you calling in?"
"Usual suspects, Ellen and Jo. Rufus said he might be able to make it to the party. What about you boys, any progress on the Colt?"
Castiel said, from his seat beside Sam, "The demon Crowley has yet to surface, but word is he's making deals himself, so I plan to track the various popular crossroads for a sighting. I should have more to report soon." Finished with his report, Castiel turned in his seat and fixed his eyes on Sam.
Gabriel nearly burst out laughing at the wigged out, shifty-eyed look Sam cast at Castiel before he scooted away from the angel.
But, despite his efforts, every inch Sam scooted away, Castiel shifted even closer, until the hunter was practically pressed into the side of the love seat.
Dean looked at the two and chuckled softly, "You two lovebirds wanna take this someplace else?"
Sam pulled a bitch-face and surged out of the chair, "I'm gonna turn in for the night." He raised his arm and gestured upstairs.
Castiel rose beside him, standing right under Sam's armpit.
"Uh, huh," Dean said.
Sam folded his arms awkwardly, forcing Castiel to move or be elbowed in his eye.
"Goodnight, everyone," Sam said turning and heading for the stairs.
"Goodnight, Samuel," Castiel called after him.
Sam didn’t even break his stride, "Night, Cas."
Castiel looked a bit forlorn as he turned back to Dean and Bobby, "I’ll resume my search for Crowley."
Once Castiel had flown off Bobby turned to Dean, "What the hell was all that about?"
Dean laughed again, "Beats me. They were like that all day. Sam's gone through his whole catalog of bitch faces today, it's kinda impressive."
"Cas' behavior doesn't strike you as being a bit weird? I mean is it possible he could have been hit with a spell or something?" Bobby asked, his brows wrinkled.
"Nah, I would have noticed if Cas got hit with a spell. Besides we ganked all those witches. I'm pretty sure Cas is still working on his social skills. I'll talk to him about it in a few days. I wanna watch Sam squirm for a bit."
"If you say so," Bobby muttered.
"Night, Bobby," Dean called as he made his way upstairs.
***
Gabriel watched Bobby putter around before turning in for the night. An idea had formed in his head while he watched over that evening's proceedings. He snapped his fingers and appeared in Dean's room.
He stood over Dean's sleeping form and hovered his hand as over his body. Gabriel barely expended any of his grace for this particular trick. Frankly, the illusion would be some of his best work.
So much for Crowley doubting him, he mused. Before the following day was done, Dean Winchester would confess his love to Castiel, or his name wasn’t Loki.
Satisfied that the trick would hold up under scrutiny, Gabriel took off. He only needed one more piece to pull this off.
***
"I think Cas must have gotten hit with some kinda love spell when we were ganking those witches down in Froid," Sam said as soon as Dean walked out of his room.
Dean chuckled, "Dude, can this wait till after I shower?"
"I’ve been looking into it since before you woke up, trying to figure out what could possibly affect an angel like that."
"Oh, Sammy, think of it as being a public service. I'm sure it'll wear off soon, and in the meantime you get the full Cas experience all to yourself," Dean slapped Sam’s shoulder and strolled down the hall to the bathroom.
***
Gabriel followed Sam down to the kitchen table and watched where him pour a bowl of cereal. While Sam was busy chewing, Gabe slipped the last bit of mojo into Sam's ear. Then he uncloaked his grace just enough to summon Castiel back to the house.
As he expected, Castiel landed in the kitchen, his gaze searching out every corner of the room.
Startled, Sam nearly knocked his chair over getting up, "Cas, what's wrong. Are we under attack?"
Gabriel re-cloaked his presence and waited for the fireworks.
Sam's body relaxed, and his eyes widened as if he were seeing Castiel for the first time, "Cas?"
Castiel met and held Sam's gaze, "Samuel," he said.
Gabriel chuckled to himself.
A shout came from upstairs just as Sam and Castiel were about to touch hands.
"Sammy!" Dean shouted, followed by footsteps thundering down the stairs.
"That's my cue," Gabriel said before he flew off.
***
A few minutes ago
Dean was still chuckling to himself over the whole thing as he stripped down and prepared to get in the shower. He caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror as he walked by it to the tub and stopped dead. Dean backed up and peered at his left shoulder in the mirror.
The handprint scar was still as pink and raised as it was on the day he pulled himself out of his coffin, except one of the fingers was missing.
"What the hell?" Dean’s earlier amusement died. The night they’d confronted Raphael, Cas had confessed all his sins and regrets in case he didn't make it. He'd told him that the mark would never fade from his physical body as it went soul-deep, that he was sorry his haste had left a permanent reminder that he couldn’t heal.
Dean had muttered some noncommittal response, secretly grateful that he'd always have a reminder that he wasn't in hell anymore, that he’d been saved...was worth saving.
"This is not possible.”
Dean hastily pulled on his clothing and stormed out of the bathroom, shower forgotten.
He jogged down the stairs calling, "Sammy!"
***
"Whoa, Sam, Sammy, come on, man, snap out of it!" Dean held his palms up, "Listen, if you and Cas really…love…each other, I'm not gonna get in the way of that, but this is crazy. Don't you think it's kinda sudden you both feel this way about each other? I mean, Sammy, you were just telling me that Cas was cursed and now you've got it too-that's really weird, man."
"That's just your homophobia talking, Dean. You can't stand that I finally have someone who loves me for me."
Cas chose that moment to interject, "I confess I did not love Sam before yesterday, but I see that I was wrong not to. His soul is-"
"Shut up, Cas. You don't know what you're talking about," Dean said.
Cas glowered and retreated to a corner of the room.
"What in blue blazes is all this hollering about?” Bobby groused as he rolled into the kitchen.
"Cliff Notes version? Cas got some witch mojo on him in Froid and now he thinks he's in love with Sam. Somehow Sam got affected and now he's feeling the same way. Except, he's larger and angrier about it."
"Good, grief," Bobby muttered.
Dean nodded and kept his gaze trained on Sam, who looked like he was about to explode at any minute.
"What I don't get is, if it's a love spell, why's Sam so angry?"
"Beats me," Bobby shrugged.
"And," Dean said, "if the witches are all dead, how the Hell do we stop Romeo and Romiel here, before things get ugly?"
Sam balled his fists, "Shut up, Dean. You're just mad you can't have Cas all to yourself anymore."
Sam charged at him, "You can't have him!"
"Don't think I won't punch you just 'cause you're under a spell, Sammy," Dean backed up, but Sam just kept coming.
Dean threw the first punch, but Sam dodged it and then retaliated with a swift uppercut to the jaw that left Dean reeling.
"Alright, that's it. You need a time out," Dean shouted before clocking Sam in the face. He caught sight of Castiel glaring at him. "Both of you need a time out."
It took some doing to subdue Sam, but Castiel was a bit trickier being an angel and all. It helped that the angel was too busy fussing over Sam's bloody nose to prevent Bobby and Dean from trapping him in a circle of holy oil.
"If this wrecks my floor, you idiots are laying me a new one," Bobby said, pulling a lighter from behind one of his wheels in his chair and dropping it.
Castiel looked up for a moment, wearing his smiting face, and Dean thought perhaps the holy fire was enough to get through to him.
"Samuel needs a cold compress," Castiel demanded, barely looking at the fire.
"Ouch." Sam flinched from Castiel's gentle touch, all puppy-dog eyes and hair his nose still dripping blood.
"Of course he does." Feeling both like an enormous heel and utterly whipped, Dean went to get a packet of frozen peas.
Part 2