Dark Clerks, Unite!
My dear clerks,
We must unite! Lord Vetinari will be put to trial and test during what they in Roundworld call a 'Convention', and we will have to make certain that the outcome of the discussion is in a positive way on his side.
The trial questions, in his lordship's presence, whether or not he is a good ruler. Of course, biased as we are, we are of the opinion that he is, so we must act in his defence wherever possible.
Therefore, I am looking to gather some very solid arguments, indeed. Even if you cannot attend the trial in person, you could be most helpful, and prepare your fellows who will be there to be able to defend his lordship to the utmost.
I have already prepared a draft speech;
Why Lord Vetinari is a Good Ruler
By Rufus Drumknott
Does the audience remember what it was like when the previous Patrician ruled, or the one before him? You may all remember that the only certainty one had, was fear. The strongest certainty there is in our current time, is that tomorrow is likely to be similar to today. Stability, ladies and gentlemen. It is one of the things that are fundamental to civilisation. Lord Vetinari has introduced this stability to the city.
Now, we can be quite certain how often per annum we are robbed or mugged. We can certainly depend on the price of recently priced love -- unless something has changed on the market since the last time I checked. We can certainly depend on the fact that the Watch will jump into action murder, non-Guild robberies and other such illegal crimes take place. Lord Vetinari has been most concerned with ensuring these certainties.
His rule in itself is also stable. However many deranged characters attempt to kill him, his judgement remains fair.
What were the punishments within the legak system like under previous administrations? A person could be hung, drawn and quartered for merely "looking at his lordship in a funny way". Have a look in the city archieves; they're quite informative if you're planning a despotic rule in the next few months.
These days, there is no longer a capital punishment on being cross-eyed in the presence of the Patrician. There will be sarcasm, indeed, but you will get away alive -- after a fashion.
The only form of capital punishment that has been in actual use over the past decades are the gallows, which are quite humane when you think about it -- apart form the fact ythat someone dies. The only crimes for which the Patrician sentences anyone to this punishment are quite severe, indeed. These include murder and repeated criminal activity of grave nature. The recent hanging of the infamous Albert Spangler is an example.
Technically, traitors should receive the death penalty, nut no one has been judged that way in recent years -- apart from, very nearly, the Patrician himself over the Leshp bussiness. Not even considering how often the city's citizens say thing like, "The Patrician is a twat", and things of similar nature. One of our previous Patricians, could have, on a squint, fabricated that into an act of treason. Lord Vetinari even allows for comments on his hair.
When speaking from the perspective of the Palace clerks, I can say that his lordship is nothing but fair. We get a very decent pay an all the pens, pencils and paper we may need.
What it comes down to is this: although you may not all like the Patrician as a person, you will have to admit that he is good at his job. This is the truth, and whoever said the truth is nice?
I would also like to give, for your consideration, this Roundworldian saying: "Nice [or soft] doctors make festering wounds."
. If you see any points on which it could improve, please let me know.
I would also like to ask you to think about some unofficial mottos for the Dark Clerks. I myself thought 'We aim for satisfaction' was quite suitable, but you may have better suggestions, I'm sure.
So, again, please think about the arguments in favour or Lord Vetinari's rule. Write all you can think of down, even if you feel some are a bit feeble. An argument is something you build up, from the weakest to the strongest points.
I would be most delighted if you could contribute, and I'm sure his lordship will be very grateful of our efforts, even if he is not likely to say this in public.
Yours &c.,
Rufus Drumknott
Patrician's Secretary
We must unite! Lord Vetinari will be put to trial and test during what they in Roundworld call a 'Convention', and we will have to make certain that the outcome of the discussion is in a positive way on his side.
The trial questions, in his lordship's presence, whether or not he is a good ruler. Of course, biased as we are, we are of the opinion that he is, so we must act in his defence wherever possible.
Therefore, I am looking to gather some very solid arguments, indeed. Even if you cannot attend the trial in person, you could be most helpful, and prepare your fellows who will be there to be able to defend his lordship to the utmost.
I have already prepared a draft speech;
Why Lord Vetinari is a Good Ruler
By Rufus Drumknott
Does the audience remember what it was like when the previous Patrician ruled, or the one before him? You may all remember that the only certainty one had, was fear. The strongest certainty there is in our current time, is that tomorrow is likely to be similar to today. Stability, ladies and gentlemen. It is one of the things that are fundamental to civilisation. Lord Vetinari has introduced this stability to the city.
Now, we can be quite certain how often per annum we are robbed or mugged. We can certainly depend on the price of recently priced love -- unless something has changed on the market since the last time I checked. We can certainly depend on the fact that the Watch will jump into action murder, non-Guild robberies and other such illegal crimes take place. Lord Vetinari has been most concerned with ensuring these certainties.
His rule in itself is also stable. However many deranged characters attempt to kill him, his judgement remains fair.
What were the punishments within the legak system like under previous administrations? A person could be hung, drawn and quartered for merely "looking at his lordship in a funny way". Have a look in the city archieves; they're quite informative if you're planning a despotic rule in the next few months.
These days, there is no longer a capital punishment on being cross-eyed in the presence of the Patrician. There will be sarcasm, indeed, but you will get away alive -- after a fashion.
The only form of capital punishment that has been in actual use over the past decades are the gallows, which are quite humane when you think about it -- apart form the fact ythat someone dies. The only crimes for which the Patrician sentences anyone to this punishment are quite severe, indeed. These include murder and repeated criminal activity of grave nature. The recent hanging of the infamous Albert Spangler is an example.
Technically, traitors should receive the death penalty, nut no one has been judged that way in recent years -- apart from, very nearly, the Patrician himself over the Leshp bussiness. Not even considering how often the city's citizens say thing like, "The Patrician is a twat", and things of similar nature. One of our previous Patricians, could have, on a squint, fabricated that into an act of treason. Lord Vetinari even allows for comments on his hair.
When speaking from the perspective of the Palace clerks, I can say that his lordship is nothing but fair. We get a very decent pay an all the pens, pencils and paper we may need.
What it comes down to is this: although you may not all like the Patrician as a person, you will have to admit that he is good at his job. This is the truth, and whoever said the truth is nice?
I would also like to give, for your consideration, this Roundworldian saying: "Nice [or soft] doctors make festering wounds."
. If you see any points on which it could improve, please let me know.
I would also like to ask you to think about some unofficial mottos for the Dark Clerks. I myself thought 'We aim for satisfaction' was quite suitable, but you may have better suggestions, I'm sure.
So, again, please think about the arguments in favour or Lord Vetinari's rule. Write all you can think of down, even if you feel some are a bit feeble. An argument is something you build up, from the weakest to the strongest points.
I would be most delighted if you could contribute, and I'm sure his lordship will be very grateful of our efforts, even if he is not likely to say this in public.
Yours &c.,
Rufus Drumknott
Patrician's Secretary