[Challenge] bleach_15 - Never good at letting go
Title: Never good at letting go
Characters/Pairing: Hisagi Shuuhei/Kira Izuru
Rating/Warnings: PG (very brief mentions of violence)
Theme: #12. parting ways - meetings
4. masks - everything has to change
He had never been good at parting ways and letting go, Kira knew that.
He had cried bitterly, when his parents died and he had been sad when he went to the academy first because he had to leave all his friends behind.
When he had left the adademy some yeares later it hadn't been that bad, because he had been with Abarai and Hinamori all the time.
But also that had ended, when he went to the third Divisition.
Of course he held contact with those two, but it wasn't like before...couldn't be.
Kira also knew Hisagi didn't have such problems.
When Hisagi had left the academy, Kira had been sad and tried to meet his friend often, while the other one had been to busy to really care.
And even now, after quite some years as a fuku-taichou Kira couldn't let go...or go himself.
He hated being send away to hunt hollows, and he hated to see Hisagi go hunting. All the time he feared, that he wouldn't see the other one again.
And now, when he was in love with the other man it was even worse.
They weren't a couple or something, but Kira deeply cared for and loved the other man.
So whenever Hisagi would be sent outside of the society Kira waited worried for him and when he himself went outside, he made sure to return as fast as possible.
What he didn't know was, that Hisagi felt the same...not with everyone, he wasn't that kind of person...but with Kira.
He always hoped the other one would be safe and the could soon share an evening together. Or even a small embrace, like they did every now and then.
Hisagi enjoyed those small signs of affection, though he didn't thought he'd ever get more than that.
Whenever one of them left, the other one waited and longed for the next meeting.
And the one, that left would do the same and try to return as fast as possible.
But that routine was interrupted, like everything was someday.
Hisagi had left two days before when Kira got the message. A hollow had to be hunted down and he was sent to do so.
So after a lot of consideration he packed his things and went away. Though he made sure to leave Hisagi a note.
Hisagi returned a week later, beaten up and tired. He longed for Kira. Wanted to talk to him, sit next to him, inhale his scent while they sat next to each other and when he found that note he almost collapsed right there in front of his apartment.
Slowly he went inside, ignorring the fact, that the air in the room was old and stale. He made his way to his bed and fell down onto the sheets, falling asleep on an instant.
Kira had promised to be there, when he returned, like he had promised countless times before. Like he himself promised everytime Kira had to leave. And noone had ever broken that promise. They had always known someone was waiting for them so they had at least one reason to return.
But now Kira was away and the promise was broken.
It took three more days until Kira returned.
In these three days Hisagi had been in absolutely bad mood without anyone being able to cheer him up. He had trained with his subordinates but got sent away by Tousen when he lost his temper. So he went training with Abarai and tried to wear himself out. He failed and spent the nights walking all across the society to regain his ability to think clearly. He failed again.
When Kira returned, the first thing he asked was, if Hisagi had returned. He didn't care about the fact that he looked like shit and his whole appearance was messed up.
When he got the answer, and a few informations about the other ones mood, he nodded and went to serach for him.
He found Hisagi around midnight standing in one of their favourite parks and throwing small stones into a little lake muttering and cursing all the time.
Kira stood in silence because he didn't know how to approach the other one now.
Hisagi hadn't noticed him and was cursing and muttering and complaining about Kira having left and broken the promise.
When the other one heared that he felt his whole body and soul ache and went to embrace Hisagi from behind.
His voice was thick with teares when he said: „I'm sorry Hisagi. I didn't want to break it.“
When unknown arms encircled his waist he tensed up and the didn't change much when he understood who it was. He gulped some times do get his voice working and asked: „Then why did you do it?“
his vioce sounded cold...colder than he intended, but he couldn't change that now.
Kira sobbed and said: „I...I didn't...didn't want to...But the order was clear...“
Hisagi sighted. He could hear the teares in Kiras voice, could hear how much the othe one regretted leaving.
Slowly he turned around and wrapped his arms around Kiras trembling shoulders and held the boy tight.
„shh...everything's alright now...“, he murmured softly into Kiras hair while stroking the other ones back. He had never done this before, so he felt helpless. But his words seemed to work because Kira stopped sobbing a short time later and lifted his head to look into Hisagis eyes. He wanted to kiss the other man, wanted to be as close to him as possible...but he didn't dare to. He sipmly said: „Thank you, Hisagi. I'm happy to see you again.“
Hisagi nodded, having caught a glimpse of that emotions, though he couldn't quite understand them.
He smiled at Kira: „And I'm happy you're safe and back again. I worried about you, you know?“
Kira nodded: „Sorry.“ He sighted and slowly moved away, not wanting to embarrass the other one.
Relucantly Hisagi let go. He didn't want to let Kira go, but if the other one disliked it he wouldn't hold him.
They stood there in silence, both not knowing what to say or do.
Slowly they sat down and looked at the lake, hoping the familiar surrounding would help.
It took quite a while, but then Kira yawned and blinked some times to stop himself from falling asleep.
But he couldn't help falling to his side, his head now resting on Hisagis shoulder.
He had hurried to get back and now his body longed for sleep. He was to tired to care about embarrassing Hisagi.
But the other one didn't feel embarrassed at all, he wrapped his armes around Kira, holding the other one and watching him fall asleep.
When he felt, that he was close to falling asleep he lifted Kira up into his arms and carried him to his flat, because it was closer.
He had some difficulties getting his key out of his pocket, but he managed it and opened the door.
Then he carried Kira into his bed and rested on the couch. He didn't care that Kira occupied his bed while he slept on his own couch.
The next morning he left early as always, but his mood now a lot better.
When Kira woke up it was around midday and on the bedsidetable a note was placed: „Good Moring Kira. Got you home yesterday evening. Hope you don't mind. Breakfast is in the kitchen. I'll talk to Ichimaru-taichou so you get the day off. See you in the evening.
Hisagi“
Kira smiled and went into the kitchen, finding a wonderful breakfast waiting for him and he ate it slowly, savouring the taste.
He was happy now. Not only wasn't Hisagi mad at him, no, he even let him sleep in his bed.
It felt like heaven to him and he looked forward to their meeting in the evening with a warm feeling inside him.
3. the rain - あめ が ふろ
14. conspiracy - Three Words
11. Standing to defend you - Prejudice
8. butterflies - Free to fly
Characters/Pairing: Hisagi Shuuhei/Kira Izuru
Rating/Warnings: PG (very brief mentions of violence)
Theme: #12. parting ways - meetings
4. masks - everything has to change
He had never been good at parting ways and letting go, Kira knew that.
He had cried bitterly, when his parents died and he had been sad when he went to the academy first because he had to leave all his friends behind.
When he had left the adademy some yeares later it hadn't been that bad, because he had been with Abarai and Hinamori all the time.
But also that had ended, when he went to the third Divisition.
Of course he held contact with those two, but it wasn't like before...couldn't be.
Kira also knew Hisagi didn't have such problems.
When Hisagi had left the academy, Kira had been sad and tried to meet his friend often, while the other one had been to busy to really care.
And even now, after quite some years as a fuku-taichou Kira couldn't let go...or go himself.
He hated being send away to hunt hollows, and he hated to see Hisagi go hunting. All the time he feared, that he wouldn't see the other one again.
And now, when he was in love with the other man it was even worse.
They weren't a couple or something, but Kira deeply cared for and loved the other man.
So whenever Hisagi would be sent outside of the society Kira waited worried for him and when he himself went outside, he made sure to return as fast as possible.
What he didn't know was, that Hisagi felt the same...not with everyone, he wasn't that kind of person...but with Kira.
He always hoped the other one would be safe and the could soon share an evening together. Or even a small embrace, like they did every now and then.
Hisagi enjoyed those small signs of affection, though he didn't thought he'd ever get more than that.
Whenever one of them left, the other one waited and longed for the next meeting.
And the one, that left would do the same and try to return as fast as possible.
But that routine was interrupted, like everything was someday.
Hisagi had left two days before when Kira got the message. A hollow had to be hunted down and he was sent to do so.
So after a lot of consideration he packed his things and went away. Though he made sure to leave Hisagi a note.
Hisagi returned a week later, beaten up and tired. He longed for Kira. Wanted to talk to him, sit next to him, inhale his scent while they sat next to each other and when he found that note he almost collapsed right there in front of his apartment.
Slowly he went inside, ignorring the fact, that the air in the room was old and stale. He made his way to his bed and fell down onto the sheets, falling asleep on an instant.
Kira had promised to be there, when he returned, like he had promised countless times before. Like he himself promised everytime Kira had to leave. And noone had ever broken that promise. They had always known someone was waiting for them so they had at least one reason to return.
But now Kira was away and the promise was broken.
It took three more days until Kira returned.
In these three days Hisagi had been in absolutely bad mood without anyone being able to cheer him up. He had trained with his subordinates but got sent away by Tousen when he lost his temper. So he went training with Abarai and tried to wear himself out. He failed and spent the nights walking all across the society to regain his ability to think clearly. He failed again.
When Kira returned, the first thing he asked was, if Hisagi had returned. He didn't care about the fact that he looked like shit and his whole appearance was messed up.
When he got the answer, and a few informations about the other ones mood, he nodded and went to serach for him.
He found Hisagi around midnight standing in one of their favourite parks and throwing small stones into a little lake muttering and cursing all the time.
Kira stood in silence because he didn't know how to approach the other one now.
Hisagi hadn't noticed him and was cursing and muttering and complaining about Kira having left and broken the promise.
When the other one heared that he felt his whole body and soul ache and went to embrace Hisagi from behind.
His voice was thick with teares when he said: „I'm sorry Hisagi. I didn't want to break it.“
When unknown arms encircled his waist he tensed up and the didn't change much when he understood who it was. He gulped some times do get his voice working and asked: „Then why did you do it?“
his vioce sounded cold...colder than he intended, but he couldn't change that now.
Kira sobbed and said: „I...I didn't...didn't want to...But the order was clear...“
Hisagi sighted. He could hear the teares in Kiras voice, could hear how much the othe one regretted leaving.
Slowly he turned around and wrapped his arms around Kiras trembling shoulders and held the boy tight.
„shh...everything's alright now...“, he murmured softly into Kiras hair while stroking the other ones back. He had never done this before, so he felt helpless. But his words seemed to work because Kira stopped sobbing a short time later and lifted his head to look into Hisagis eyes. He wanted to kiss the other man, wanted to be as close to him as possible...but he didn't dare to. He sipmly said: „Thank you, Hisagi. I'm happy to see you again.“
Hisagi nodded, having caught a glimpse of that emotions, though he couldn't quite understand them.
He smiled at Kira: „And I'm happy you're safe and back again. I worried about you, you know?“
Kira nodded: „Sorry.“ He sighted and slowly moved away, not wanting to embarrass the other one.
Relucantly Hisagi let go. He didn't want to let Kira go, but if the other one disliked it he wouldn't hold him.
They stood there in silence, both not knowing what to say or do.
Slowly they sat down and looked at the lake, hoping the familiar surrounding would help.
It took quite a while, but then Kira yawned and blinked some times to stop himself from falling asleep.
But he couldn't help falling to his side, his head now resting on Hisagis shoulder.
He had hurried to get back and now his body longed for sleep. He was to tired to care about embarrassing Hisagi.
But the other one didn't feel embarrassed at all, he wrapped his armes around Kira, holding the other one and watching him fall asleep.
When he felt, that he was close to falling asleep he lifted Kira up into his arms and carried him to his flat, because it was closer.
He had some difficulties getting his key out of his pocket, but he managed it and opened the door.
Then he carried Kira into his bed and rested on the couch. He didn't care that Kira occupied his bed while he slept on his own couch.
The next morning he left early as always, but his mood now a lot better.
When Kira woke up it was around midday and on the bedsidetable a note was placed: „Good Moring Kira. Got you home yesterday evening. Hope you don't mind. Breakfast is in the kitchen. I'll talk to Ichimaru-taichou so you get the day off. See you in the evening.
Hisagi“
Kira smiled and went into the kitchen, finding a wonderful breakfast waiting for him and he ate it slowly, savouring the taste.
He was happy now. Not only wasn't Hisagi mad at him, no, he even let him sleep in his bed.
It felt like heaven to him and he looked forward to their meeting in the evening with a warm feeling inside him.
3. the rain - あめ が ふろ
14. conspiracy - Three Words
11. Standing to defend you - Prejudice
8. butterflies - Free to fly