Fic: Substitutes (1/1)
Title: Substitutes
Author: Gillian Taylor
Character/Pairing: Ninth Doctor, Jackie Tyler
Rating: PG-13 (for implied sexual activities)
Summary: I'm nothin' more than a substitute.
Disclaimer: Don't own them. I just like playing with them...a lot.
A/N: This was a request fic for Nine/Jackie from wendymr. This one's all your fault, m'dear. *still can't believe she wrote Nine/Jackie*
Substitutes
by Gillian Taylor
He sighs as he rolls away from her, staring at the ceiling and wondering once again why he does this. To her. To himself. It isn't fair, he knows, but that's life. Fair would be hearing the voices of his people in his head again. Fair would be Gallifrey being only short hop in the TARDIS away. Fair would be him in his previous incarnation, safe and secure in the knowledge that Time Lords would always exist.
That's what fair is. Instead, he has this. Satisfying longings in the only way he can, the only way that spares them all pain.
"I know why you're doing this," Jackie says into the darkness and he feels her words to the depths of his soul. If she knows, that's one step further than he is.
"Oh?" he asks.
"I'm nothin' more than a substitute. It isn't me that you're seeing, is it? It's her."
He winces and sits up, swinging his long legs off the side of the bed. This, he decides, is the last time he does this.
He feels her hand, human-warm, on his shoulder and he stiffens. "It's okay," she says softly, and he can hear resolve in her voice. "If this is what it takes, so be it."
The Doctor doesn't need to fill in the blanks in the spaces between those words. He knows what she means. Take her if it spares Rose. Take her if-
He's finished.
Shrugging off her hand, he stands, reaching for his clothes.
"I'll see you later, yeah?" Jackie asks.
There's only one answer he can give her. Staring at her in the darkness, he says nothing as he shrugs on the last piece of his armour. Still keeping silent, he turns and walks to the door. Opening it, he reminds himself that this is the last time. He wonders if that decision will last.
"That's what I thought," she says.
He can't tell if that's sorrow, resignation or pity in her voice. He decides that he doesn't want to know. And, with a soft snick, he closes the door behind him.
END
x-posted to dwfiction
Author: Gillian Taylor
Character/Pairing: Ninth Doctor, Jackie Tyler
Rating: PG-13 (for implied sexual activities)
Summary: I'm nothin' more than a substitute.
Disclaimer: Don't own them. I just like playing with them...a lot.
A/N: This was a request fic for Nine/Jackie from wendymr. This one's all your fault, m'dear. *still can't believe she wrote Nine/Jackie*
Substitutes
by Gillian Taylor
He sighs as he rolls away from her, staring at the ceiling and wondering once again why he does this. To her. To himself. It isn't fair, he knows, but that's life. Fair would be hearing the voices of his people in his head again. Fair would be Gallifrey being only short hop in the TARDIS away. Fair would be him in his previous incarnation, safe and secure in the knowledge that Time Lords would always exist.
That's what fair is. Instead, he has this. Satisfying longings in the only way he can, the only way that spares them all pain.
"I know why you're doing this," Jackie says into the darkness and he feels her words to the depths of his soul. If she knows, that's one step further than he is.
"Oh?" he asks.
"I'm nothin' more than a substitute. It isn't me that you're seeing, is it? It's her."
He winces and sits up, swinging his long legs off the side of the bed. This, he decides, is the last time he does this.
He feels her hand, human-warm, on his shoulder and he stiffens. "It's okay," she says softly, and he can hear resolve in her voice. "If this is what it takes, so be it."
The Doctor doesn't need to fill in the blanks in the spaces between those words. He knows what she means. Take her if it spares Rose. Take her if-
He's finished.
Shrugging off her hand, he stands, reaching for his clothes.
"I'll see you later, yeah?" Jackie asks.
There's only one answer he can give her. Staring at her in the darkness, he says nothing as he shrugs on the last piece of his armour. Still keeping silent, he turns and walks to the door. Opening it, he reminds himself that this is the last time. He wonders if that decision will last.
"That's what I thought," she says.
He can't tell if that's sorrow, resignation or pity in her voice. He decides that he doesn't want to know. And, with a soft snick, he closes the door behind him.
END
x-posted to dwfiction