When Cashiers Will Carry Guns (3/3)

Jun 04, 2010 10:58

part 3 )

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Comments 20

snow_meow June 4 2010, 09:31:50 UTC
EH?

Now I am wondering if Pi did kill Jin and Ryo.
Somehow the last paragraph confuses me.
I don't understand what really happen and why Ryo suddenly wanted to get out of the business.

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danishpinkcess June 4 2010, 10:01:44 UTC
Mm, I see.
Well.
Actually, I was planning to make both Jin and Ryo die at first. But then I realized Yamapi had to somehow be biased and possibly take their side at one point.
So I left the end open.
Either you think Pi killed them both, and then burnt the place to mask any trace.
Or he let them run away, and burnt the place (#).
Or they somehow managed to kill him.
It's however you want it to be.

And, Ryo doesn't have any particular interest in the business to begin with. He's here because of Jin, and if Jin left (which he did - he's the one who killed Ueda, btw), well Ryo will leave too.

I'm sorry if it was confusing, I just didn't feel like developing too much. My interest was mainly what happens in Yoro, and the way every character is looking for a place to be.

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myxstorie June 4 2010, 13:00:32 UTC
I loved this fic all the way through ^^ I will admit to being pretty disappointed with the ending, because I can't stand it when things are left SO open like that and absolutely nothing is resolved (it makes me feel like a wasted effort, to write something so lovely and then cast it out to the wolves), but it really was a gorgeous fic. I love how you built up Ryo & Jin's relationship, and it totally makes sense that Ryo is so terribly, crazily dependant on Jin because Jin is all he knows in this new life he has, I can understand him being unable to let go of that.

♥ thank you ^^

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danishpinkcess June 7 2010, 16:51:48 UTC
Okay, I had an answer, and LJ swallowed it.
Nevermind.

Long story short, erm.
I cheated.
This fic is REALLY not finished, it was written months ago and just laid there, half dead, so I decided recently to be over with it.
Which explains the rather quick and expeditive ending.
I first wanted to make them all die (even Kame, you see).
Then I wanted a happy ending.
Then I figured I could maybe make just half of them survive.

Then my lazy brain nudged me and said, hey, I've got an awesome idea.
And, you know the rest.

I won't change anything. The end is up to you, in a way. ^^

Otherwise.
Thanks for you review!
I was really glad to get such a detailled, constructive comment!

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kamepi_love June 4 2010, 13:55:27 UTC
Wow *I say it too much lately hehe*, that was really unexpected!But I love it anyway. Ryo here is so...mm...I don't know...so in love with Jin it's wonderful!
Well, I think that Pi let them go, maybe because he can't drag Turtle away from this? *I'm sorry my OTP is PiKame so...and I see a little hint here*.
Well, it was a little confusing, but I think it's the best ending anyway.
I hope you'll write some more RyoJin? And more...fluffy maybe? Anyway, good job!

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danishpinkcess June 7 2010, 17:03:01 UTC
OKAY, FIRST.
YOU GOT THE PIKAME HINT!
YIHOO. I AM NOT SUCH A BAD HINTER!
No, seriously, I was so glad to see you had understood.

SECOND.
YOU LIKED MY ENDING.
I am getting loads of "wtf was that, can't you write a prpper ending, you lazy snail", and, well. No, I can't. This fic was written a loooong time ago and that's the only end I could/wanted to come up with.

THIRD.
I don't have a third.
Oh, yes.
Erm.
^^ *sheepish dumb grin*
I'm really sorry. I'm pretty much done with writing J.E fanfic. My new craze is KPop, that was just an old thing.
Except.
Oh, I might have old finished stuff on my hard drive.
/will check.

Anyway, thanks for commenting!

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kamepi_love June 8 2010, 05:05:34 UTC
First.
Seriously? Yay! I was right!Maybe I understand it because I love PiKame, but there was something in their discussion and the fondness in Pi's voice...
Second.
Well, with such events it's the best and everybody can think of the ending on their own. So yeah, it's fine with me ^_^
Third.
Mmm, it's a pity, but anyway if you find something old. don't hesitate to share I'd like to read it!

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danishpinkcess June 8 2010, 07:50:38 UTC
He. PiKame is adorable, ever since Nobuta. (But my favorite Kame pairing is RyoKame, whatever, unrelated.)

Also, it's great because I get more and more positive answers towards my ending. I don't feel so alone in the world anymore!

And, haha. I've got an old Nobuta fic which actually not too bad (geez, I wrote really really bad stuff, back then - this one is like, a miracle).
I think I'll post it soon.

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blacksoul12012 June 4 2010, 19:50:34 UTC
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *shaking and crying and flailing*
♥ ♥ ♥

I should hate you for that end but actually I love you for it, it's perfect!!

Don't expect anything more coherent...you just killed my brain with the awesome story...

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blacksoul12012 June 4 2010, 19:53:17 UTC
And since I always forget to tell you: your header is beautiful!!!^^

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danishpinkcess June 7 2010, 17:09:07 UTC
DO YOU LOVE HER? DO YOU LOVE HER?

Hum.
Sorry if this creeped you out.
I totally adore those girls, and this picture even more.

High five for the Brown Eyed Girls!

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blacksoul12012 June 7 2010, 20:06:48 UTC
It took me quite some time to figure out what you meant, lol *sleep deprived*

Brown Eyed Girls are wonderful!!!!

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fancyann1974 June 4 2010, 23:39:48 UTC
very open and intresting ending
thank you for sharing

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danishpinkcess June 7 2010, 17:10:55 UTC
Thank you for commenting!

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