Finished Snow Queen...
Snow Queen is completely incredible. I am halfway through the last episode, and was a sobby mess, yet I loved it much too much.
Wow. I didn’t think it was possible for me to cry more and to love both Tae-Woong and Bo Ra more than I did in ep 15, but yeah, possible.
I love how brave Bo Ra is. How she knows she will die but she refuses to use it for pity. I loved her asking her father to go on his planned business trip because, as she tells Tae-Woong, she remembers when she was a child, when she had chemo, it was the first time she saw her father cry like that, and she doesn’t want him to cry like that ever again.
But the thing is, she asks Tae-Woong to leave too, and he tells her he won’t cry and she says it’s her pride as a woman, but I love that he says no matter what, he isn’t leaving her side. And you can tell she so wants him there because she doesn’t fight it at all.
And the nurse comes in with the injections and somehow, you can tell how ugly and painful it is for Bo Ra from the look on Tae-Woong’s face. But that’s the thing. He is all about her and he doesn’t break down or anything. It’s only when he walks out with the water jug to get some water and you see him stand in the bathroom, unseeing, his face unguarded for once, and it makes me want to look away, and the jug is filled and the water keeps overflowing and overflowing and he is not noticing that at all.
And he is always there with her, as if he is afraid she will disappear if he closes his eyes, and I love how he tells her not to talk because it’s tiring her, and she says if she talks she won’t feel alone, so he just holds her hand and asks if that is better.
The thing is, this has brought Bo-Ra’s father and Tae-Woong closer together. As TW thanks Bo-Ra’s dad for allowing him to stay by her side and the father apologizes and TW tells him it doesn’t matter. The thing is, TW is so focused and calm and strong for everyone, but you see it’s killing him. The way he stands and leans on the wall of the hospital, repeatedly, head thrown back, eyes tightly shut, it’s as if he can’t deal with it at all and only on focusing on the daily tasks will he get through it.
And OMG, the scene where Seung-Ri visits and brushes Bo-Ra’s hair and clumps come out. And Bo-Ra finds out Tae-Woong turned down the chance to study in America (he goes all still when she finds out) to be with her and they have a fight because she says he is an idiot and he should take the chance and he says he doesn’t want to study abroad, he wants to be with her and she yells at him she is dying, she has very little time to live, so what does it matter. And OMG! He yells back that she isn’t and that unless she really wants to make him completely angry she should never say it again and she repeats it and tells him not to be in denial and he says he won’t let her die.
Did I mention that even typing this out, I feel like crying?
And later, she faints again and when she comes to, Tae-Woong is there by her side, asking her where she wants to go. She says Lapland but he smiles they can’t go that far. And so he ends up taking her to a beautiful place by the lake. And it’s like the honeymoon they will never now have. It’s beautiful, and they get to do things like watch movies on TV and laugh together (she points out they never saw a movie together) and she feeds the birds outside, and he pushes her on the swing, and feeds her, coaxing her to eat more (as she is absorbed into tv), and they look at the waves on the water. And she says yes to marriage. Only she is in a wheelchair, and she has to take so many pills, and they both know, though won’t admit, it’s a matter of days, and he watches her as if he is afraid she will disappear in front of his eyes.
And she tells him about her beeper and tells him the password to it (a prime number, in reference to a wonderful earlier conversation they had) so he could get messages from it later (the implication she left messages on it for him so he can listen to them when she dies). And he brushes her hair in bed and it’s loving and romantic only…great clumps come out in the brush and the camera lingers briefly on the agony on his face. And he washes her feet for her, because she can’t do it herself any more and he looks up at her, so adoringly.
GUUUUH.
Hell.
She is going to get a miracle and they will live happily ever after. The end.
And then there is the scene that killed me, where she is asleep on the bed, and he comes in, and he puts his face really close and he goes. ‘God. If there is a God. If there really is a God, please don’t take her away from me.’ And it kills me, his lack of belief (with good cause) and yet the hopeless hope. And then he continues ‘If you must take her away, take me too.’
OK. I am going to stop typing because I am crying again.
After about 12 hours after writing the above, I finished the episode. It was amazing, wonderful, incredible. It also turned me into someone who was crying so hard I couldn't see the screen. This is probably the first and last time you'll see me sobbing when someone gives a math dissertation.
Among many things that kill me? When he tucks her in and tells her 'See you tomorrow' and then thinks 'Have to see you tomorrow.' Because of course he is scared every day is the last even though he'll never ever admit it.
And yeah, Oh my God. When she has a nightmare and asks him if she can sleep with him and they sleep together (not that way of course. She is much too sick, which is just...heart-breaking) and she is asleep but he is just lying there looking at her, holding her hand.
And then they go on a 'date' and she is all dressed up and it's too adorable but I can't write about it too much or I'll start bawling. But he tells her he loves her and how happy she makes him. And she says ILY too.
You know what kills me? How quiet is the scene where she dies. Because she falls asleep and won't wake up when he tries to wake her up to feed her, and you can see the look on his face when it sinks in but it's all so very quiet, just the knowledge slowly imprinting on his face. No screaming, not even any sound.
Oh My.
I wonder, was he going to kill himself in Lapland? He did buy a one-way ticket (and it's someone this steadily quiet you have to worry about). But I think the message she left him (about living on) really prevented it.
The whole scene where he hears her voice and the camera just concentrates on his hands, fingers clutching the phone tighter and tighter and his face, which is so full of hunger and grief, hearing her voice.
And he does go to Lapland (filmed in New Zealand btw) and then it's three years later and he is back from his studies abroad, presenting his dissertation because he won some sort of a huge award. And I die when he refers to Bo-Ra in the lecture in the present tense: 'The woman I love.'
And he wanders in the library, lying with his head the way they used to and he is thinking 'I miss you.' And then he is on the basketball court, and it starts to snow and...he sees Bo-Ra. And the look on his face! And the drama ends with his slowly closing his eyes, thinking 'What did I just see? When I open them, even if you are not there any more, time will stand still.' And he opens his eyes, and she is not there any more, but he is surrounded by snow, and tears trickle down his face but he looks utterly calm and at peace and accepting.
It's a completely amazing ending (I interpret it as that vision does reassure him about life after death and this being a temporary separation, but I prefer to think that she came back to life as a ghost and they can hang out. Not gonna happen but whatever. My ending, my rules. And then she'll become corporeal and they'll have cute kids and OK, people in white jackets are coming to take me away).
This is one of the best dramas I've ever seen. I am very impressed by Sung Yuri, but I am completely blown away by Hyun Bin, who is incredibly expressive with so few words. I've only seen him in Millionaire's First Love before (yes, I am one of the few people who didn't watch My Name is Kim Sam Soon though this will be remedied pronto) and wow. Nothing in MFL made me think he could be like this. Wow.
But after SQ, I am watching Smiling Pasta for a bit. I need giddy angstless fluff. I'd watch Hana Kimi but too lazy to dl tonight.
Wow. I didn’t think it was possible for me to cry more and to love both Tae-Woong and Bo Ra more than I did in ep 15, but yeah, possible.
I love how brave Bo Ra is. How she knows she will die but she refuses to use it for pity. I loved her asking her father to go on his planned business trip because, as she tells Tae-Woong, she remembers when she was a child, when she had chemo, it was the first time she saw her father cry like that, and she doesn’t want him to cry like that ever again.
But the thing is, she asks Tae-Woong to leave too, and he tells her he won’t cry and she says it’s her pride as a woman, but I love that he says no matter what, he isn’t leaving her side. And you can tell she so wants him there because she doesn’t fight it at all.
And the nurse comes in with the injections and somehow, you can tell how ugly and painful it is for Bo Ra from the look on Tae-Woong’s face. But that’s the thing. He is all about her and he doesn’t break down or anything. It’s only when he walks out with the water jug to get some water and you see him stand in the bathroom, unseeing, his face unguarded for once, and it makes me want to look away, and the jug is filled and the water keeps overflowing and overflowing and he is not noticing that at all.
And he is always there with her, as if he is afraid she will disappear if he closes his eyes, and I love how he tells her not to talk because it’s tiring her, and she says if she talks she won’t feel alone, so he just holds her hand and asks if that is better.
The thing is, this has brought Bo-Ra’s father and Tae-Woong closer together. As TW thanks Bo-Ra’s dad for allowing him to stay by her side and the father apologizes and TW tells him it doesn’t matter. The thing is, TW is so focused and calm and strong for everyone, but you see it’s killing him. The way he stands and leans on the wall of the hospital, repeatedly, head thrown back, eyes tightly shut, it’s as if he can’t deal with it at all and only on focusing on the daily tasks will he get through it.
And OMG, the scene where Seung-Ri visits and brushes Bo-Ra’s hair and clumps come out. And Bo-Ra finds out Tae-Woong turned down the chance to study in America (he goes all still when she finds out) to be with her and they have a fight because she says he is an idiot and he should take the chance and he says he doesn’t want to study abroad, he wants to be with her and she yells at him she is dying, she has very little time to live, so what does it matter. And OMG! He yells back that she isn’t and that unless she really wants to make him completely angry she should never say it again and she repeats it and tells him not to be in denial and he says he won’t let her die.
Did I mention that even typing this out, I feel like crying?
And later, she faints again and when she comes to, Tae-Woong is there by her side, asking her where she wants to go. She says Lapland but he smiles they can’t go that far. And so he ends up taking her to a beautiful place by the lake. And it’s like the honeymoon they will never now have. It’s beautiful, and they get to do things like watch movies on TV and laugh together (she points out they never saw a movie together) and she feeds the birds outside, and he pushes her on the swing, and feeds her, coaxing her to eat more (as she is absorbed into tv), and they look at the waves on the water. And she says yes to marriage. Only she is in a wheelchair, and she has to take so many pills, and they both know, though won’t admit, it’s a matter of days, and he watches her as if he is afraid she will disappear in front of his eyes.
And she tells him about her beeper and tells him the password to it (a prime number, in reference to a wonderful earlier conversation they had) so he could get messages from it later (the implication she left messages on it for him so he can listen to them when she dies). And he brushes her hair in bed and it’s loving and romantic only…great clumps come out in the brush and the camera lingers briefly on the agony on his face. And he washes her feet for her, because she can’t do it herself any more and he looks up at her, so adoringly.
GUUUUH.
Hell.
She is going to get a miracle and they will live happily ever after. The end.
And then there is the scene that killed me, where she is asleep on the bed, and he comes in, and he puts his face really close and he goes. ‘God. If there is a God. If there really is a God, please don’t take her away from me.’ And it kills me, his lack of belief (with good cause) and yet the hopeless hope. And then he continues ‘If you must take her away, take me too.’
OK. I am going to stop typing because I am crying again.
After about 12 hours after writing the above, I finished the episode. It was amazing, wonderful, incredible. It also turned me into someone who was crying so hard I couldn't see the screen. This is probably the first and last time you'll see me sobbing when someone gives a math dissertation.
Among many things that kill me? When he tucks her in and tells her 'See you tomorrow' and then thinks 'Have to see you tomorrow.' Because of course he is scared every day is the last even though he'll never ever admit it.
And yeah, Oh my God. When she has a nightmare and asks him if she can sleep with him and they sleep together (not that way of course. She is much too sick, which is just...heart-breaking) and she is asleep but he is just lying there looking at her, holding her hand.
And then they go on a 'date' and she is all dressed up and it's too adorable but I can't write about it too much or I'll start bawling. But he tells her he loves her and how happy she makes him. And she says ILY too.
You know what kills me? How quiet is the scene where she dies. Because she falls asleep and won't wake up when he tries to wake her up to feed her, and you can see the look on his face when it sinks in but it's all so very quiet, just the knowledge slowly imprinting on his face. No screaming, not even any sound.
Oh My.
I wonder, was he going to kill himself in Lapland? He did buy a one-way ticket (and it's someone this steadily quiet you have to worry about). But I think the message she left him (about living on) really prevented it.
The whole scene where he hears her voice and the camera just concentrates on his hands, fingers clutching the phone tighter and tighter and his face, which is so full of hunger and grief, hearing her voice.
And he does go to Lapland (filmed in New Zealand btw) and then it's three years later and he is back from his studies abroad, presenting his dissertation because he won some sort of a huge award. And I die when he refers to Bo-Ra in the lecture in the present tense: 'The woman I love.'
And he wanders in the library, lying with his head the way they used to and he is thinking 'I miss you.' And then he is on the basketball court, and it starts to snow and...he sees Bo-Ra. And the look on his face! And the drama ends with his slowly closing his eyes, thinking 'What did I just see? When I open them, even if you are not there any more, time will stand still.' And he opens his eyes, and she is not there any more, but he is surrounded by snow, and tears trickle down his face but he looks utterly calm and at peace and accepting.
It's a completely amazing ending (I interpret it as that vision does reassure him about life after death and this being a temporary separation, but I prefer to think that she came back to life as a ghost and they can hang out. Not gonna happen but whatever. My ending, my rules. And then she'll become corporeal and they'll have cute kids and OK, people in white jackets are coming to take me away).
This is one of the best dramas I've ever seen. I am very impressed by Sung Yuri, but I am completely blown away by Hyun Bin, who is incredibly expressive with so few words. I've only seen him in Millionaire's First Love before (yes, I am one of the few people who didn't watch My Name is Kim Sam Soon though this will be remedied pronto) and wow. Nothing in MFL made me think he could be like this. Wow.
But after SQ, I am watching Smiling Pasta for a bit. I need giddy angstless fluff. I'd watch Hana Kimi but too lazy to dl tonight.