He wears earrings and eyeliner and is more badass than you. Magadheera - part 2/3
I was going to finish the Magadheera recap in two parts but seeing how many caps I took of Ye Olden Times of Sexiness and Angst, I had to break it out.
So, when we last left our awesome protagonists, Indu was led to believe her shiny new boyfriend Harsha has killed her father. Indu was taken away on the villain's helicopter and as Harsha tried to get to her, he finally got that doozy of the flashback we've been waiting for and we went back 400 years to when she was Princess Mitravinda - heir to the throne, and he was super-warrior Bhairava and her bodyguard.
Welcome to the mountain kingdom of Udaigarh, with happy populace:
Ruled over by a benevolent ruler:
Whose heir is his only child, the strong and gorgeous Princess Mitravinda:
And here is Bhairava, best warrior in the Kingdom and one who trains all its warriors and is also the Princess' bodyguard.
He has just beheaded four very dangerous stone statues!
One of Mitravinda's hobbies in life is to tease the serious Bhairava and to try to get his attention. Hey, what's a smitten girl to do? Why, shoot an arrow at his flunkie, of course :)
Turanabout is fair play. Also, ridiculously sexy.
You know what else is sexy? Teaching the girl how to shoot her bow better while holding hands. Mmmmm. I want a lesson!
The villain - high ranking noble, suitor of Mitravinda in this incarnation. Clearly she'd rather marry a toad. Probably because the facial hair of this lifetime makes his previous beard of insanity look good.
He spends some time insulting Bhairava's manhood - why don't you just take them out and measure them? I am sure ladies in the audience would enjoy.
It must buuurn to see the King dote on Bhairava and Mitravinda but not on him. Well, if you look like something mother dropped down the stairs and then bounced repeatedly...
Yes, she has a huge oil painting of her bodyguard in her bedroom! Indeed.
Creepy villain breaks in despite the fact that no man is allowed in Princess' quarters and tries to do some creepy slimy double-entendre involving apples=her body. Yeah, that is sure to win her over!
Aahahahahaha. Bhairava is there! And he throws a knife getting the apple out of Villain's hand before he can eat is and is all 'what if it was poisoned, I only did it out of concern for your villainous highness.'
He is all 'let me test it.' LOLOLOL double entendre especially as the villain is all 'I won't eat it after you!'
And Mitravinda is all "But I will!"
Sexay.
Next morning there is a race and all the people are chanting Bhairava's name. Villain is not pleased. Mitravinda looks like she's about to float out of her seat in glee.
Villain snatches Princess' scarf. I am not sure why this is so horrid as she still looks fully covered to me but everyone gasps in horror - the princess has been shamed!
Bhairava is all 'pls pls pls King can I kill him pls pls?'
But villain is all - Mitravinda is heir but she covered herself as opposed to biting my face off. This means she needs a husband King type person to fight enemies for her. So whoever wins the race for the scarf should marry her.
While elderly King is thinking it over Mitravinda gets up and says she accepts the challenge. But only if the loser gets banished.
Villain is all 'hey, cutie, Bhairava ain't coming back alive.' I love Bhairava promising her to bring Villain back alive so people could spit on him. Heh.
Awesome race during which villain engages in underhanded tricks.
At once point Villain forces him to choose between saving horses or keeping her scarf. He's a good guy so he chooses horses. Awwwww :(
That's all right. He's awesome so he still wins.
Mitravinda's imagination goes into sexy overdrive for this awesome musical sequence.
Subtle much? Yes, he really is sticking his sword out and she is fondling it. I could not make that up.
Yes, he's cutting her dress off her.
A cannon. Indeed.
But while his daughter is beaming with happiness, the King is freaked. You see, no man in Bhairava's clan lived past 30 - they all died defending their country. He does not want his daughter to be a widow, especially under strict rules of Indian widowhood. Somehow the idea of just locking the guy in a celler until after 30 does not occur to him.
He is all 'sorry kid! I know you love my daughter and she loves you but can you please sacrifice that for the good of the kingdom and the sake of seeing you angst sexily?' Duty-bound Bhairava is all :(((((((( but agrees.
So he says he has defended Mitravinda's honor but he has no desire to marry her and be King.
That night she is all emo in front of her ginormous picture of him (LOL, I wonder what her servants thought about the pic - in her bedroom!) and is all distraught going 'I can tell he is here!' And even though her servants disuade her, yup, he's hiding and angsting. Angst some more, hot boy!
Ahhhh, shippy angst.
Especially since she's supposed to go on a pilgrimage to propitiate the gods and he is, of course, her bodyguard on the trip.
He's supposed to beat the sacred drum while she splashes 7 colors of paint on the stone altar. But instead she stops and orders him to tell her he loves her. AWWWW. YESSS.
But instead he silently starts banging on the drum as per ritual.
So Mitravinda goes a little crazy, taking all that paint and splashing it Pollak style - all over, painting like a crazy person.
And then she walks up to him and tells him that he can have his honor but he should remember he buys it with her tears and uses his knife to cut her hand so as to use her own blood for red color.
Yup, she painted him. Girl's a monomaniac, all right.
Yup, he finally snapped too and he is about to throw away his promise to the King and walk over to her and I totally squee...
A comet blasts a nearby mountain. Talk about a horrid omen!
And yup, here is a messenger saying Villain betrayed them and opened gates to Sher Khan, a conqueror who took over the Kingdom and killed the King.
And here comes the villain for Mitravinda, backed by the entirety of Sher Khan's army.
I have to say his troups are either morons or really overly secure in their skill. A hail or arrows isn't likely to produce Mitravinda alive and even with all his issues the villain doesn't seem into necrophilia.
Now that's a face only a mother could love!
Villain is all "Mitravinda, honey, come here! Don't you love me even more now that I killed your Daddy?' And Sher Khan is also saying wonderful things like 'hey, Bhairava, if you bring Mitravinda over and make her sit on Villain's lap and you yourself grovel to me, I'll let you live.' Somehow I don't think Bhairava is buying.
And neither is Mitravinda.
I LOVE MY OTP!
Sher Khan is intrigued by Bhairava's clan legend - that each man of his warrior clan will take out a 100 men before his death. So he tauntingly offers Bhairava a deal. He is going to send a 100 soldiers after him and if Bhairava kills them all, he will let him take Mitravinda away.
Bring it!
GUUUUH. AM PUDDLE OF DROOL.
He does a warrior oath and smears his blood on his forehead as some sort of a ritualistic thing.
And then he prepares to face the horde. For Mitravinda. MMMMMMM.
He is crazily lethal, cutting them down where they stand as Sher Khan counts aloud, at first amused, then puzzled, then astonished.
I love how proud Mitravinda looks for him!
I, otoh, am hormonally overdosing.
But not even Bhairava is immune to arrows and as Mitravinda watches in horror, he's gravely wounded.
It's an ill wind that blows nobody any good. Villain is overjoyed.
Ooops, too soon. Even majorly hurt, he's still a killing machine who will not let anyone within 10 feet of his Princess.
As Sher Khan's voice becomes tinged with awe during the count, the count creeps inexorably up to the high eighties, then low nineties - Bhairava just doesn't stop no matter how hurt he gets.
And then he hits 100. He looks at the sea of bodies around him and even though he can barely stand, he raises his head, looks at Sher Khan and asks him whether that's enough or would he like to send more men after him. OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. DEAD.
However, Sher Khan is so impressed by this total badassery that he approaches the puzzled Bhairava and tells him he has never seen anything like that and pledges to him, instead.
Happy end? Not so fast! Villain snarls that Sher Khan promised him Mitravinda. Sher Khan has no choice but to step aside and let Bhairava and Villain duel it out. Well, now that Bhairava is horribly wounded and has just killed a 100 people, maybe it will even Villain's odds a bit.
Nope. He still handily defeats Villain. But Villain, dying, is not about to let go of his obsession. Snarling that if he can't have Mitravinda, nobody can, he throws a dagger, hitting her, before anyone has a chance to react.
All that suicidal bravery and devotion and a 100 dead enemies. For nothing.
He kills the bad guy but at that point, it really doesn't matter, does it?
So we are back to the start of the movie, with Mitravinda dying and asking Bhairava to at least now tell her he loves her. And he does, but it's too late - it is unclear whether the she hears his confession but even if she does, her inert dead body falls off the cliff before he can even touch her outstretched hand.
He jumps off the cliff after her, still desperately trying to hold her hand, but no luck.
The flashback ends on that cheerful note. When we come back - shall their reincarnated selves have better luck?
Stay tuned for more fun, heroics, and sexiness! For last part of recap go here.
So, when we last left our awesome protagonists, Indu was led to believe her shiny new boyfriend Harsha has killed her father. Indu was taken away on the villain's helicopter and as Harsha tried to get to her, he finally got that doozy of the flashback we've been waiting for and we went back 400 years to when she was Princess Mitravinda - heir to the throne, and he was super-warrior Bhairava and her bodyguard.
Welcome to the mountain kingdom of Udaigarh, with happy populace:
Ruled over by a benevolent ruler:
Whose heir is his only child, the strong and gorgeous Princess Mitravinda:
And here is Bhairava, best warrior in the Kingdom and one who trains all its warriors and is also the Princess' bodyguard.
He has just beheaded four very dangerous stone statues!
One of Mitravinda's hobbies in life is to tease the serious Bhairava and to try to get his attention. Hey, what's a smitten girl to do? Why, shoot an arrow at his flunkie, of course :)
Turanabout is fair play. Also, ridiculously sexy.
You know what else is sexy? Teaching the girl how to shoot her bow better while holding hands. Mmmmm. I want a lesson!
The villain - high ranking noble, suitor of Mitravinda in this incarnation. Clearly she'd rather marry a toad. Probably because the facial hair of this lifetime makes his previous beard of insanity look good.
He spends some time insulting Bhairava's manhood - why don't you just take them out and measure them? I am sure ladies in the audience would enjoy.
It must buuurn to see the King dote on Bhairava and Mitravinda but not on him. Well, if you look like something mother dropped down the stairs and then bounced repeatedly...
Yes, she has a huge oil painting of her bodyguard in her bedroom! Indeed.
Creepy villain breaks in despite the fact that no man is allowed in Princess' quarters and tries to do some creepy slimy double-entendre involving apples=her body. Yeah, that is sure to win her over!
Aahahahahaha. Bhairava is there! And he throws a knife getting the apple out of Villain's hand before he can eat is and is all 'what if it was poisoned, I only did it out of concern for your villainous highness.'
He is all 'let me test it.' LOLOLOL double entendre especially as the villain is all 'I won't eat it after you!'
And Mitravinda is all "But I will!"
Sexay.
Next morning there is a race and all the people are chanting Bhairava's name. Villain is not pleased. Mitravinda looks like she's about to float out of her seat in glee.
Villain snatches Princess' scarf. I am not sure why this is so horrid as she still looks fully covered to me but everyone gasps in horror - the princess has been shamed!
Bhairava is all 'pls pls pls King can I kill him pls pls?'
But villain is all - Mitravinda is heir but she covered herself as opposed to biting my face off. This means she needs a husband King type person to fight enemies for her. So whoever wins the race for the scarf should marry her.
While elderly King is thinking it over Mitravinda gets up and says she accepts the challenge. But only if the loser gets banished.
Villain is all 'hey, cutie, Bhairava ain't coming back alive.' I love Bhairava promising her to bring Villain back alive so people could spit on him. Heh.
Awesome race during which villain engages in underhanded tricks.
At once point Villain forces him to choose between saving horses or keeping her scarf. He's a good guy so he chooses horses. Awwwww :(
That's all right. He's awesome so he still wins.
Mitravinda's imagination goes into sexy overdrive for this awesome musical sequence.
Subtle much? Yes, he really is sticking his sword out and she is fondling it. I could not make that up.
Yes, he's cutting her dress off her.
A cannon. Indeed.
But while his daughter is beaming with happiness, the King is freaked. You see, no man in Bhairava's clan lived past 30 - they all died defending their country. He does not want his daughter to be a widow, especially under strict rules of Indian widowhood. Somehow the idea of just locking the guy in a celler until after 30 does not occur to him.
He is all 'sorry kid! I know you love my daughter and she loves you but can you please sacrifice that for the good of the kingdom and the sake of seeing you angst sexily?' Duty-bound Bhairava is all :(((((((( but agrees.
So he says he has defended Mitravinda's honor but he has no desire to marry her and be King.
That night she is all emo in front of her ginormous picture of him (LOL, I wonder what her servants thought about the pic - in her bedroom!) and is all distraught going 'I can tell he is here!' And even though her servants disuade her, yup, he's hiding and angsting. Angst some more, hot boy!
Ahhhh, shippy angst.
Especially since she's supposed to go on a pilgrimage to propitiate the gods and he is, of course, her bodyguard on the trip.
He's supposed to beat the sacred drum while she splashes 7 colors of paint on the stone altar. But instead she stops and orders him to tell her he loves her. AWWWW. YESSS.
But instead he silently starts banging on the drum as per ritual.
So Mitravinda goes a little crazy, taking all that paint and splashing it Pollak style - all over, painting like a crazy person.
And then she walks up to him and tells him that he can have his honor but he should remember he buys it with her tears and uses his knife to cut her hand so as to use her own blood for red color.
Yup, she painted him. Girl's a monomaniac, all right.
Yup, he finally snapped too and he is about to throw away his promise to the King and walk over to her and I totally squee...
A comet blasts a nearby mountain. Talk about a horrid omen!
And yup, here is a messenger saying Villain betrayed them and opened gates to Sher Khan, a conqueror who took over the Kingdom and killed the King.
And here comes the villain for Mitravinda, backed by the entirety of Sher Khan's army.
I have to say his troups are either morons or really overly secure in their skill. A hail or arrows isn't likely to produce Mitravinda alive and even with all his issues the villain doesn't seem into necrophilia.
Now that's a face only a mother could love!
Villain is all "Mitravinda, honey, come here! Don't you love me even more now that I killed your Daddy?' And Sher Khan is also saying wonderful things like 'hey, Bhairava, if you bring Mitravinda over and make her sit on Villain's lap and you yourself grovel to me, I'll let you live.' Somehow I don't think Bhairava is buying.
And neither is Mitravinda.
I LOVE MY OTP!
Sher Khan is intrigued by Bhairava's clan legend - that each man of his warrior clan will take out a 100 men before his death. So he tauntingly offers Bhairava a deal. He is going to send a 100 soldiers after him and if Bhairava kills them all, he will let him take Mitravinda away.
Bring it!
GUUUUH. AM PUDDLE OF DROOL.
He does a warrior oath and smears his blood on his forehead as some sort of a ritualistic thing.
And then he prepares to face the horde. For Mitravinda. MMMMMMM.
He is crazily lethal, cutting them down where they stand as Sher Khan counts aloud, at first amused, then puzzled, then astonished.
I love how proud Mitravinda looks for him!
I, otoh, am hormonally overdosing.
But not even Bhairava is immune to arrows and as Mitravinda watches in horror, he's gravely wounded.
It's an ill wind that blows nobody any good. Villain is overjoyed.
Ooops, too soon. Even majorly hurt, he's still a killing machine who will not let anyone within 10 feet of his Princess.
As Sher Khan's voice becomes tinged with awe during the count, the count creeps inexorably up to the high eighties, then low nineties - Bhairava just doesn't stop no matter how hurt he gets.
And then he hits 100. He looks at the sea of bodies around him and even though he can barely stand, he raises his head, looks at Sher Khan and asks him whether that's enough or would he like to send more men after him. OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. DEAD.
However, Sher Khan is so impressed by this total badassery that he approaches the puzzled Bhairava and tells him he has never seen anything like that and pledges to him, instead.
Happy end? Not so fast! Villain snarls that Sher Khan promised him Mitravinda. Sher Khan has no choice but to step aside and let Bhairava and Villain duel it out. Well, now that Bhairava is horribly wounded and has just killed a 100 people, maybe it will even Villain's odds a bit.
Nope. He still handily defeats Villain. But Villain, dying, is not about to let go of his obsession. Snarling that if he can't have Mitravinda, nobody can, he throws a dagger, hitting her, before anyone has a chance to react.
All that suicidal bravery and devotion and a 100 dead enemies. For nothing.
He kills the bad guy but at that point, it really doesn't matter, does it?
So we are back to the start of the movie, with Mitravinda dying and asking Bhairava to at least now tell her he loves her. And he does, but it's too late - it is unclear whether the she hears his confession but even if she does, her inert dead body falls off the cliff before he can even touch her outstretched hand.
He jumps off the cliff after her, still desperately trying to hold her hand, but no luck.
The flashback ends on that cheerful note. When we come back - shall their reincarnated selves have better luck?
Stay tuned for more fun, heroics, and sexiness! For last part of recap go here.