I like very much... very dick, i like hearing both sides of the story. just one thing, if your keeping things that we already know the same, then it wasn't the alterna prom, the night would have been that of the graduation party, if i am wrong about this, then sorry :)
Duh, moment....dangergrl79June 13 2006, 04:02:06 UTC
When I read the post about it happening at the Graduation and not the Alterna Prom, my brain went DOH! I should freaking know better. I just spent hours screening the damn season for a couple of friends to get them addicted. Thanks for the heads up. As I said before, I am new to this and any feedback (critical or not) is worth it. I might slap myself in the head, but it will get those corrections made.
Oooh. I liked the first story and I'm glad that we get to see Dick's POV this time. Some images really made me laugh, like Dick's spin on Mac's pregnancy announcement. And Dick being all territorial made me giggle. 'Twas very aww-worthy.
There are a few nit-picking things I gotta mention, like the fact that Not Pictured took place while the graduation party was going on, not Alterna-Prom. A couple sentences here and there sound kind of awkward too, such as "I was shocked when she told me that they weren’t screwing because of Beaver." And I'm kinda tired so I'm going to be lazy and not point out specifically where they are, but there are a couple of places where the tense shifts to present tense while the scene takes place in the past. I'm not sure if they're thoughts or something that should be italicized. Anyway, another read-through might help you polish up the story so it really shines!
What can I say. I suck as my own beta. I appreciate the criticism and nudging me in the right direction. Some of the lines that I think you misinterpreted had a lot to do with how I right and basically transcribe a character's rant in my head. I try to get it down as fast as I can and then I read it back and I hear my head and not what is in print. I gotta get that craziness together. The next one will be a whole lot better. I haven't written anything like this since my obsession with My So Called Life. Damn, I just dated myself.
Seriously, thanks for the post...some people are afraid to be honest, but it works.
*humming happily to self* MaDi YAY!!!! I have to get my ass in gear and finish mine up soon 'cause now you've got out two and you're beating me. I love this universe, there's more right. *hint hint* lol there has ot be more!!!
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Gracias,
Kea
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There are a few nit-picking things I gotta mention, like the fact that Not Pictured took place while the graduation party was going on, not Alterna-Prom. A couple sentences here and there sound kind of awkward too, such as "I was shocked when she told me that they weren’t screwing because of Beaver." And I'm kinda tired so I'm going to be lazy and not point out specifically where they are, but there are a couple of places where the tense shifts to present tense while the scene takes place in the past. I'm not sure if they're thoughts or something that should be italicized. Anyway, another read-through might help you polish up the story so it really shines!
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Seriously, thanks for the post...some people are afraid to be honest, but it works.
Kea
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lindsayw99@hotmail.com
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I think my favorite was the very last line. It totally describes every male female relationship as seen from the guy's perspective. :)
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